#and my mom deemed it more important to go with my 30 year old sister to an appointment she def didn't need comoany for

[xolaanii]

i think my recurring chest pain might be my heart breaking slowly but surely

[sinceileftyoublog]

Robert Finley Interview: Ready for the Race

BY JORDAN MAINZER

At the risk of sounding cliché, it’s truly been a long, often hard road for blues and soul singer Robert Finley. On his new album Sharecropper’s Son (out tomorrow on Easy Eye Sound), he delves into his past. Ever since he hooked up with Dan Auerbach on 2017′s Goin Platinum!, Finley’s 60-year backstory has been more often chronicled in the mainstream, from being born and raised in Bernice, Louisiana and enlisting in the army as a teenager to suffering from a car accident, a divorce, and eventually ending his carpentry career after being deemed legally blind. And yes, he never gave up and eventually got lucky, being discovered busking by Music Maker Relief Foundation, touring, releasing an album, and eventually establishing a long-term collaborative relationship with Auerbach. Yet, until now, Finley hasn’t written about his early childhood, being raised along with his 7 siblings on a crop share in Louisiana.

Sharecropping refers to an agricultural legal arrangement where a landowner allows a tenant to use land in exchange for the share of the crops produced. It was a popular arrangement in the South from the Reconstruction to Jim Crow years following the abolishment of slavery; in reality, it was just another way for white Americans to maintain economic hegemony over Black Americans. “You get all the work, and the money never seems to come,” Finley told me over the phone in March from his home in Louisiana. “You always break even, and unless you own the farm, you really didn’t benefit. The checks from the cotton and from the corn didn’t come in your name.” In other words, Finley said, “Sharecroppers don’t get their share.”

Sharecropping was backbreaking, “out in the hot red sun,” Finley sings on the album’s title track, “where the work is never done,” Auerbach’s blistering guitar and keyboards shimmering like rays from the sun. That said, Finley never realized how rough things truly were. “We were poor and didn’t know it,” he told me, citing the fact that because they were never hungry, he actually thought they were rich. “We had cows. We had chickens. We had hogs. We had fresh milk...It was like we were really living it up!” he said. Moreover, since many of their neighbors didn’t have direct access to fresh food, Finley’s father would share their bounty, from meat to vegetables. And, as the youngest son, he spent a lot of time helping his mom in the kitchen, citing that experience as partially inspiring his love of cooking to this day.

With Sharecropper’s Son, Finley is not trying to provide a list of lamentations. “It’s not a pity party,” he said. Even more than not going hungry, Finley cites his father’s optimism and generosity as formative. “My dad, in his religious beliefs, always hoped for better things and a brighter tomorrow...at the end of the day, after picking the cotton, or pulling the corn, we had plenty to give away. I don’t know if my dad sold some of it, but I think he did way more giving than selling.” Eventually, his father “wised up” and gave up sharecropping, and to this day, Finley’s brothers and sisters, despite only his oldest and youngest sister graduating from school, live comfortably. Notably, Finley also holds where he grew up near and dear to his heart. On “Country Child”, he juxtaposes harsh memories of cotton fields with yearning for the more comforting aspects of the South, especially country girls who “give you a country smile.” He mentioned me that the sparse population of rural Louisiana meant that he had to cross rivers just to see his neighbors, but also that folks in a many mile radius knew each other well, to the point that “you could get a couple boards and put them in front of your house, and someone would ask you what you’re doing with them.”

Above it all, Finley learned from both his father’s mindset and his own ability to overcome. “That’s why I tell my story / So you could start dreaming too,” he sings on “My Story”, while the hand percussion-laden “Starting To See” details the symbolic perspective on life he gained after losing his sight. And the album ends with spiritual gospel waltz “All My Hope”. Even better, Finley offers himself up for his listeners, on tracks like “I Can Feel Your Pain”, a church organ hymn where he empathizes with folks suffering from everything from COVID-19 to police brutality. It’s why he stays positive and keeps on keeping on. As someone who walked again after an accident despite the odds and who was “discovered’ so late in life, he doesn’t let practicality tamper his ambitions. “Like a horse in the stall,” he said, “I’m ready for the race.”

Below, read my conversation with Finely, edited for length and clarity.

Since I Left You: What made you want to sing more autobiographically this time around?

Robert Finley: I guess it was a chance to express myself and talk about these true stories. It’s not a made-up fantasy. It’s real life. It’s a chance to tell what life was like being a sharecropper. I was talking to all my siblings--4 brothers and 3 sisters, so there were 8 of us. My youngest sister doesn’t remember that much about it, but I’m the second youngest, so I wanted to get it out while all of us siblings would be able to form their opinion on it.

SILY: Would you say that the pandemic and the reckoning around the Black Lives Matter movement and subsequent increased awareness among White Americans gives these songs extra resonance?

RF: Yeah, I feel like it really opened the world’s eyes to what’s really going on. A lot of times, things happen we just don’t want to talk about, but that don’t stop ‘em from happening. In this case, it was a blessing to be writing about the right thing at the right time. 

Even me and Dan Auerbach meeting, that was heaven intervention, too. What do a 30-something year old man and a 67-year old man have in common that can reach the people? It would have to be the music. Music is not a racial thing. Music, to us, is what comes from the heart and goes to the heart. If you need a blood donor or kidney donor, you’re not gonna ask what color the person was or what race the person was who’s giving the blood and giving the kidney. The whole purpose is for you to get the kidney and stay alive. Music is pretty much the same thing. Even if people can’t speak the language, they can feel the vibes of the music. There’s always somebody that can translate what the artist is really saying, but if the music is right, and the message in the music is right, it really doesn’t matter what color the person is or where they come from. It’s all about what comes from the heart and goes to the heart. 

That’s where my songwriting comes in. To be able to reach out and touch people, because you want to give people something they can feel, that they can relate to. Not just a cool beat, not just a pretty voice, or whatever. The song needs to have a message that people can relate to. [And] as far as whether it’s soul, blues, country-western, jazz--if you’re looking for rock and roll, you can find it on the album, if you’re looking for soul, if you’re looking for country and western. It’s got a little of everything. That was the goal, and hopefully it’s being accomplished.

SILY: It seems like everybody who works with Dan has a musical connection and shared love of the same thing, even if not a widely known song or album. Do you feel that connection?

RF: Yeah. You gotta have something positive going even for Dan to reach out to you. Dan is looking for originality. People who want to stand out, not someone who’s trying to fit in. He looks for raw talent and gives them [opportunity] to express themselves. He’s open-minded and open to suggestions. He wants to know Robert Finely and produce Robert Finely and not to make me into something I’m not. 

SILY: On “Country Child”, you talk about driving by a cotton field as an older man and still feeling your back hurting. But on the same song, you talk about preferring a country girl to raise a country child. Was it important for you to talk about that complex relationship with where you came from?

RF: Yeah. Don’t get me wrong--I don’t have a thing against city ladies--nobody in the city smiles because it makes them look tough and look hard. In the country, they wave at everybody whether they know ‘em or not. It doesn’t matter because everybody’s just saying hi! In the city, people live across the hall or across the street and don’t know their neighbors. It’s a whole different lifestyle. They don’t let their guard down. I was trying to keep it as real as possible.

The country girls, they just wave and smile, and if you say something they don’t agree with, they move on. But they’ll talk for a while, and they give you the benefit of the doubt.

Sometimes, if you’re too friendly, you can become a victim. If you go in the city smiling at everybody, they automatically know you’re not from the city. It’s not what they do. Unless you’re properly introduced, the person across the hall won’t talk to you or know you. It’s all about the approach. But I have learned that a smile is universal. It doesn’t matter what country you’re in. If you smile, people will smile back. If you’re open-minded and open-hearted, there’s always somebody. People will be glad to see somebody who looks at them and smiles. It breaks barriers and opens doors, even for people trying to look hard and tough.

SILY: On a couple songs on here, you improvised the lyrics, calling it “speaking from the heart.” Do you find that the way to go when the subject matter of the song is more difficult to talk about?

RF: Yeah, I mean if you stay real with everybody, it’s not a problem. You’ve gotta be open-minded and open-hearted. Put yourself in anybody’s situation. If you do that, you can see it from their point of view. With all the stuff that’s negative in the world today, it’s good to be positive every chance you get. It needs to be something people can relate to in the real world, or that people can say, “I’ve been through that or I’ve done that.” It’s not something that’s been made up like a fairytale. It has to have meaning where people can say, “Yep, I remember those days.” 

I have 7 siblings. They all have to tell the story from their point of view. I try to leave the door open [in case] they want to tell what they remember, because they might remember something I don’t or had to experience something I didn’t. So when I was writing [the title track], I talked to them about it. In reality, I wanted it to be a true song that dealt with real life. Not made up. It needed to be something real they could identify with and their friends identify with where people could say, “I remember those days.” I also definitely didn’t want to make it seem harder than it already was. I only went back to the cotton field and put on the overalls for the video because nobody was wearing shiny shoes in the cotton field. They might have had a pair they put on on the weekend, but they definitely didn’t wear them in the field. The video could have been done anywhere, but to keep it real, I thought we needed to take it back to the country.

SILY: What did it mean for you to play with so many of the same session players as on Goin’ Platinum?

RF: It was like a family reunion. We toured together in the East Coast and West Coast. It was really an honor because everybody knew everybody. Everybody was excited to get back together because of the success of the first album. We built more or less what you could call a family relationship. Everybody knows everybody, and getting back in the studio, we got straight to work, what everybody came for. I don’t know how much time Dan spent with the musicians before I got there. When I got there, it was to lay the vocals down.

What I really noticed is that all the musicians played what they feel. They listened to the groove. And all the local musicians were in a 50-mile radius of each other. I could have them all together within a couple hours.

I was probably the youngest person in the band, besides Dan--I’m almost twice his age. When you’re with the band, it breaks out the best in you. Learning from their experience, everything they’ve done and who they’ve done it with, it makes you feel privileged to be in the company of them. They’re not on big ego trips and nobody has a big agenda. I’m easy. I don’t put no pressure on nobody--I just want the best out of everybody.

I love working with the Easy Eye Sound label because to me, I walk in, meet and greet, we break bread together, and we go to work. The work is hard, but I don’t know if you’d even call it work.

SILY: What’s the story behind the album art?

RF: The label mostly [does it] and asks me for approval. There’s not much I’d object to anyway. It’s a picture of me. I seldom walk outside even to go to the mailbox without my hat on. That’s one of my trademarks. I always wear hats or caps. I love the artwork. To be honest, I haven’t met the individual that did the artwork on it, but it very much had my approval when I saw it. Meeting everybody, sometimes it’s way down the line where I can actually meet them face to face.

[fakangin-blog]

‘son, departing.’ solo #1

briefly: a then 16-year-old kangin hasn’t attended a family dinner in nearly a week. with basketball practices surmounting as college nationals approach, and a lack of interest interacting with anyone, or thing, other than his nintendo. he walks through the door, at 8:30 and the table is only being set — as expected. whenever kangin went out of his way to avoid his family, they made up for it with gratuitous fervour trying to rein him in.

          “innie! there you are! mrs. kim— oh, look at you—“ his mother fusses over his sweaty forehead, and the scent of b.o permeating his training hoodie, floating all throughout the hallway.

           “take a shower. you stink.” kyungah says, face coiled in distaste. kangin snorts and shoves past them both, scaling the staircase without another word. he wasn’t one for bickering in excess, like they used to. he realised that was kind of futile quite quickly. especially when it was always turned on them both, and he got in trouble regardless of ‘who started it’.

           once he no longer smells like the school gym and a hoard of pubescent boys, he slides down the balustrade, just as he would every other day. a habit he’d picked up ever since his father warned it’d collapse on itself someday soon, “and hopefully you, with it.” kyungah had kindly added. there was something they could agree on.

           when he sits at the head of the table, as the men always do in the yi household, he sits alone. his family are still elsewhere fussing about, the first portions of food being spread glamorously across the oversized table. it’s one of those beautiful dark ochres; the kind of wood that you tap on just to hear it echo a little, a true feat of craftsmanship.

           he used to hide under this table, when he was small enough. no one ever cared to look for him in obvious places. and when he was lucky enough, it would be covered in a tablecloth long enough that the silk edges just touched the carpet covered ground. it made for quite a comfortable space to complain and cry to himself, as any kid should.

           being upset wasn’t deemed very appropriate anymore, getting to live in complete freedom from expectation (at least, that’s what his peers claimed. he knew that his life was still under strict surveillance and control. the kind that made him fear confessing it to anyone.) he was chipped, for god’s sake. who chips their own child?

           life 360 trembled in the wake of his family’s crooning necks, disappointed looks and a shocking lack of expectation for his future.

           his thoughts are jostled as a middle aged man sits directly across from him. his father, that is. his mother takes a little longer to settle in her seat, always pedantic about smoothing out her skirt and calling kyungah away from the couch.

           kangin gives thanks to the cooks, and the maids, and is interrupted by the shrill giggle of haein. “and thank you, for finally showing up to dinner!” he nods. he has nothing else to say to her, or that statement.

           he has always eaten like it were his last meal, as is natural to a teenage boy. of course, it was an easy invitation for a series of semi-disgusted looks from his mom, attempting to keep her composure. she was becoming oddly remiss when it came to his unrefined behaviour, recently. he assumed it was because kyungah had been thinking of moving out.

           that’d mean neither children would ever be home. he wasn’t sure what else she’d expect, being pretty poor at parenting in the first place. the dinner continues on in awkward, suspended quietude.

           “kyungah has been busy, too!” a short hum fills the space, empty of any other responses. “she’s got her first midterm in a few weeks. and then the gala, of course.” his father continues, voice so gentle and poised for someone who has willingly trapped himself in this situation.

           jungwu was the only person kangin could stand. he looked up to his dad with eyes and ears always open. both familiars, they shared a lot more than he could ever with his sister, or mother, insufferable as they usually were. as his father tried to convince him against saying.

           kangin always felt sorry that he’d been given such a starved hand of cards in life. an incredible mathematician, public speaker and leader type suffocated by a family of affluent and ignorant witches. and now, a selfish daughter, low-functioning, lifeless son, and a tyrannical wife. one he loves, apparently.

           he fears such a fate, knowing the deep indent his past leaves for his future.

           “we were wondering if you were free then? we’d appreciate the company. your support, as your sister is presented to her community.” her community. the magical community that he had rejected, and is yet to reconcile with since. he doesn’t intend to.

           he knows the gala falls on the 1st of december every year. he’s attentive enough to know the super annoyingly important dates scrawled into his family’s calendars, he would’ve hoped they had been able to do the same.

           his father interrupts before he can: “that’s the weekend of nationals.” and kyungah’s chuffed snort cues kangin to set down his cutlery. the look on his mother’s face is tense, pleading, and he hates it.  

           “i don’t see why it should involve me. i get that it’s very important for her, and you, but that’s just her responsibility. i wouldn’t want to be there when she’s upstaged anyway.”

           “yi kangin. take that back and apologise to your sister.”

           “just practicing. she needs to control her temper. look at her!” the word ‘steaming’ would do little to describe the look on kyungah’s face. she was always like this — as fragile as a tea cup.

           “at least i’m useful.” “uh, that’s like my only purpose, big brain. i’m a witch’s ultimatum. and you’re… what? learning to fix your attitude?” “fuck you.” “big words for such a little girl.” “you’re a twig!” “fast metabolism. you’ve never heard of one, clearly.” “take that back!” “or what? you’ll send me flying? go on! try!”

           maybe kangin forgot that kyungah was actually fearfully powerful for her age, maybe he just wanted to push her past her limit before his mother inevitably stepped in again. maybe he just wanted to win, whatever the cost. whatever it was, it doesn’t matter now. his body is curled in shock and stirring rage after being thrown against the doorframe behind his seat.

           “kyungah!”

           “stupid fucking bitch!” his throat rips with the kind of burning he hadn’t heard for much too long. he holds the back of his head in a death grip, a deep scarlet blood seeping into the minute pattern of his finger print, all the way around his fingers until he wears a glove of his own injury.

           “at least i have a talent!” “she’s a psychopath! mom, she’s a psycho—“ before he can continue, his mother’s palm is pressed against his forehead. Not a moment later, he passes out cold on the living room floor with an audible ‘clunk’. his dreams stir with white clouds covering the moon and all the other empty images his mind could conjure.

           haein sends kyungah to her room, without another word, and kangin’s father carries his son toward her office. a tear drops from his reddening eyes right onto kangin’s cheeks. his skin is so clear, and round, and filled with all the life he should so be leading. the kind of life he deserved, and the kind of life he continued to walk away from.

they walked away between tall hedges, their heads just clear and blond with sunlight, the hedges’ dark sides sickly with drifts of flowers.

they were facing the sea and miles of empty air; the sky had high torn clouds, the sea its irregular runs and spatters of white.

they did not look back; the steadiness of their retreating footfalls lapsed in a long diminuendo; their line was straight as the clipped privets.

they looked at four sliding gulls a long way up, scattering down frail complaints; the fickle wind filled in with sounds of town and distance.

they became sunlit points; in a broad haphazard world the certain focus. against the random patterns of the sea their walk was one-dimensional, and final.

sons, departing — john cassidy.

[klausesdiego]

the trial of my gender by maggie c.

below is the personal essay i wrote for my creative nonfiction class. it documents and talks about my struggle with accepting who i am and how i identify in terms of gender. please read the whole thing and be kind. 

I sat at my dining room table, in the middle of the night, watching YouTube videos about people documenting their gender transition. It was fascinating to me, much in the same way that an outside observer would see any scientific study or conduction. To me it was simply that; I was an outside force that was interested in learning more about this topic. For research purposes. I was in 8th grade, so my fascinations tended to fringe to the edges of what was normal. I loved British panel shows, documentaries about serial killers, and even How It’s Made videos. Basically, I watched a large variety of videos that a typical 13 year old wouldn’t think to even look up. And one day I stumbled across the genre of gender transition videos. I believe I was looking up hair dying tutorials because this was around the same time I started experimenting with my hair color; regardless, I ended up watching voice comparisons, post-op surgery reports, and just vlogs in general of people venting their gender concerns. It wasn’t then and there that I realized that being transgender was a thing. I knew of it before that moment. But it was at the moment, the dining room deathly quiet and dark as night except for the illumination of my computer screen that I began to question my own gender.

Gender dictates everything in life. Everywhere you go, even from a young age, you are determined your worth through gender. And maybe it’s not as clear and forthright as you may think I’m trying to convey it as, but a closer eye can see that nearly everything in life, is based on gender. From an early age, even preschool or kindergarten, you are divided by gender. They tell the boys to be a group and the girls to be a group. And at that young age it is ingrained in everyone’s brain that gender is a binary. Gender is male or female and there is no inbetween. It won’t be until high school,l at least, that people will learn that sometimes people fall outside of those binary lines. Maybe you were a male who dressed or acted a little too feminine for everyone’s liking. Maybe you were deemed a “tomboy” simply because you prefered board shorts to bikinis. But at the end of the day, the people around you will label you as a gender that is either male or female. And that isn’t the case. If gender is a binary code of 1’s and 0’s, then everything that doesn’t fit within that code is labeled “nonbinary”. Gender non-conforming, transgender, androgynous, agender, genderqueer whatever you want to call yourself, there are things that lie beyond that binary.

Even when I was young, I didn’t know where I was supposed to fall in the gender binary. I knew that because of how I was born that I was deemed female. Assigned female at birth. That’s what some people call it. But it didn’t really seemed assigned. It didn’t feel like a government assigned label, like a social security number. It truly felt like a piece of my identity. At least, partially. When I was a freshman in highschool I finally berated my mom to the point where she let me cut my hair short into what I called a “pixie” cut. I tried to find the most feminine word for it, hoping that it would sway her opinion. This was soon after I learned the wonders of gender transition videos and watching them soon became a daily habit. In the end I looked like Justin Bieber from 2009, but I didn’t care. I was in love with it. My face was too rounded, my lips were too full. But my hair seemed right, finally. When I was a sophomore in highschool I came out to my parents as transgender. I wrote the date down in my calendar but said calendar has long since seen the trash can after one too many times of me cleaning my bedroom out of anxiety-ridden panic. I told them I wish I was born a male. And the funniest part about that? I don’t even think they remember. Sure, we had a good cry and my mom hugged me, telling me she would love me no matter who or what I wanted to become, but after that night, we never spoke of it again. My parents kept leaving little hints here and there that I might be a lesbian, saying things like “whoever you decide to marry” or “your future significant other”, but they never mentioned my gender. I was always going to be their little girl. And for a while, only my closest friends knew about who I was.

For a graphic design class I took in college, we had to construct a poster series about a serious issue that we were concerned about. The professor used his personal example of heroine usage in York, Pennsylvania and shared stories about it affecting his life directly. At this point in my life I was pretty confident in being unconfident in my gender, so naturally, I gravitated towards transgender-related topics. I learned that every 4 days a person who is transgender gets murdered. I made the poster in the style of a calendar with a bouquet of flowers every 4 days with the flowers being the color scheme of the transgender flag. I thought it was somber but albeit fitting. Learning that terrible fact was a shock for me. I knew that people who were transgender were discriminated, harassed, assaulted, and killed. But at that rate? It made me scared for my life. I was glad, for once in my life, that I presented myself as my biological gender. It was my safety net. Plausible deniability.

Rewind to high school, sophomore year to be exact, I started going by a different name, a more masculine name, online in gender support groups. My closest friend to me, the only one who knew about this whole thing, asked me if I wanted her to refer to me as a boy. I told her it didn’t matter. It did matter to me though. I wanted to be referred to a boy but I didn’t want to go through the hoops of having to change everything about my outer life to simply appease the gnawing feeling inside of me. At night, I wished that I could just wake up one morning with a different body and a different background. It didn’t matter to me how or why, I just felt that all of my problems with who I was would be solved if I had been more biologically male.

One of my friends from middle school is transgender. He started transitioning in his freshman year of college and I followed his journey of finding himself through Instagram. He seems genuinely happy and I feel happy for him everytime I see one of his posts. A different friend of mine, from highschool this time, thought he was a lesbian at the time, and it wasn't until he graduated high school that he decided he wanted to transition to male and be who he truly was. Even at college now, I know of people who have found themselves and their gender through time and experience. They say that cancer affects everyone because everyone knows someone who has been a victim of it. But this works the same for the transgender community. Nearly everyone knows someone. And if they say don’t, then they probably know a closeted person.

For a few years after sophomore year, I decided to let my gender identity go to the back burner, after all I had more important things on my plate: college applications and getting my driver's license. It wasn’t until I was a freshman in college, going to my first meeting of the Gay Straight Alliance that I realized I could reinvent myself No one here knew who I was. So when it came time to say my name and pronouns, I said my birth name, a name I still hold very dear to my heart, and the pronouns “they/them”. It may look like dipping your toe in the water to some people, testing to see if it’s the perfect temperature, but to me it was like taking a running jump and going into a cannonball. I was out. No matter what I was. No matter what I identified as. I was not cisgender anymore.

The idea of cisgender became a hot debate online in forum posts all around. Some people saw the shortening of it to “cis” as a slur much to the way that transphobic people would call transgender people tr*nny’s. But, in reality, it was just a label that society had created to say that your birth gender matched up with the gender you identified as. Most people are cisgender and for a lot of people their knowledge ends just there. Maybe they don’t even know the term cisgender at all. Maybe they are blissfully unaware of the struggles that people go through everyday just by existing. Maybe they just don’t care.

My cousin came out as transgender in an odd way. Through Facebook. She just posted briefly that she had begun hormone replacement therapy. She was already known as the extreme left-wing of the family. She had moved out to California to pursue a degree in gender studies. We all assumed she was just gay, not that she was actually a she. My sister-in-law’s sister came out as transgender, deciding to transition in her late 30’s despite having a wife and daughter. It was then that I realized that being transgender, having a different idea of who you are than from when you were born, isn’t just a fad that people on the internet were adhering to. This was a real thing. I felt justified in that moment. And my feelings felt like they had some grounding for the first time in a while.

In the gender support groups online, I was still a pretty active member at this point, I started going by masculine pronouns instead, still keeping my name the feminine one I was given at birth. This raised a lot of questions as to why I wanted to keep my name, but ultimately it boiled down to the fact that my name didn’t bother me that much. In reality, it just seemed to bother other people more. Like they couldn’t imagine someone by the name of Jennifer being a male. But I knew that it didn’t matter what other people thought of me. I started wearing exclusively sports bras, trying to smother my chest as best as possible. I was on my way to becoming who I wanted to be.

A lot of people who are transgender call their birth names their “dead names”. They see it as exactly that. That other person is dead to society. They have reinvented themselves much like how a phoenix rises from the ashes. While I had experimented with other names, more masculine names, as stated above, I felt a deep connection with my birth name and I didn’t see myself changing it anytime soon. But then again, my reluctance to not change my name was not really based on my affections for said name. Rather, it was me, once again, not wanting to go through the hoops and hurdles of having to change my outer life so much to fit the way I saw myself inside. In my head I knew who I was. What did it matter that other people saw something different? At the end of the day I know that by the end of my gender journey if I decide to change my name, or at least go by a different name, I would be perfectly fine with that. But my birth name would always hold a dear part in my heart.

I came out to my parents as bisexual in an unusual way. It was actually before I went to college. We were on a road trip to visit one of the colleges I had been accepted to and we stopped at a Burger King for lunch. It was bisexual awareness day and so I posted something on Instagram about it. My mom turned to me, and just said, ���So, bisexual, huh?” And it was left at that. You might have sensed a theme that my parents aren’t the best with continuing communication by now. I think, some strange part of me deep down inside of me knew, my parents were glad that in their eyes I wasn’t “fully gay”. There was still a chance I would settle down with a nice Christian boy and have 2.5 kids with a white picket fence. And there still is that chance. But there is also the chance that I find a nice girl and we settle down, opting for cats instead of children. I remember, years later, talking to my parents in my living room about weddings. My sister was getting married and I dropped the bomb casually that I may end up marrying a woman. My mother, my closest friend in the entire world, started crying at this. It left me shattered in a way that I haven’t fully recovered from. She told me she would always love me but that she didn’t know how she would feel if she had to have my father give me away to a woman instead of a man. I left to my room heartbroken and sobbed myself to sleep that night.

After I came out to my parents as transgender, I did a lot of research about hormone replacement therapy and how parents view their children who were transgender. I would sit on the bus on the way home from freshman year high school and Google terms like “what to do if my child is transgender” or “female to male teen transition”. I was trying to research what I imagined my parents would be researching. In reality, we know that they never mentioned again to me so for all I know, they never did any research. For all I know they erased that day of their lives out of their memory. For me, however, it will be forever ingrained in my memory. It was the first day I started being true to myself. I was truthful when I told my parents I was transgender. I was truthful when I told my parents I wish I would have been born a male. I just left out the part where I didn’t actually want to live my life as a male. Not fully. I was nonbinary. Genderqueer. Agender. Or even, all of the above.

My experience with gender isn’t anywhere over and I don’t see it being over anytime soon. As of right now, I identify as nonbinary, dancing in some weird abyss of not being female and not being male. I see it as more of a burden than an identity. The fact that I can’t pinpoint exactly who I am is frustrating, but a lot of people don’t see it in the same way. That’s the magic of it being a spectrum; there will be people who feel everything at every point in said spectrum. Some people out there will love being nonbinary and the freedom that it gives them. Most people don’t feel like me. Most people don’t see being nonbinary as a burden or something at fault. But for me, I hope to one day find myself and who I truly am, even if that is what I already know.

When I first cut my hair short freshman year of high school, someone asked me if I was gay. Gay, in today's terms, sort of means the same as queer. Anything other than the normal. Gay emcompasses anything revolving around the LGBT community for some people. I told them no. It felt like cutting a piece of myself out. One of the deadliest sins a Christian can commit is denying their Lord. When asked if you are a Christian, a Christian must respond yes, or else they sacrifice their ticket to their afterlife. To me, answering no felt like I was denying myself that ticket to the gay afterlife. If asked that same question today, I would look them in the eye, think of the LGBT heaven I was destined for, and say yes.

[weareallfallengods]

Survival

Writing prompt:

If you’re over 25 and haven’t done something remarkable, you are hunted down and killed. Some people invent things. Some make cures for diseases. Others become established members of their community. You’re pushing 30, and somehow not dead yet, even though you cant think of a single thing you’ve done thats remarkable in any way. Why aren’t you dead?

I write for adults about adult themes with adult language. I try to tag possible triggers (but I know I'm not going to get all of them), so if violence or implied death or cussing bothers you, you'll probably want to find a different author.

********************************************

Somehow, that date came up again. Not quite sure how, but somehow, the number circled on my shitty wall calendar with the coffee splatter on it managed to be today. Again. It's been doing that for 5 years now.

At first I wanted to be a surgeon- save people's lives, make a difference, all that shit. Yeah, I was caught up in the hype for a while too. Just like everyone. Thought I'd make some ground-breaking discovery and change the world. Just like everyone. And then, at 22, I flunked out of med school. That was it. Dream over, kaput, fin.

When I opened my termination letter, it was like reading a death sentence. 10 years of prep and study down the drain. 3 years left. 3 years, and no idea what to do. No clue what I could do to save my own life after all those years learning how to save others.I drank for a solid month. I dont even remember that month now. My only memento from it is an entire skip of liquor bottles. It's a miracle I didn't die from alcohol poisoning. Not that I didn't try.

See, I was afraid. Scared, actually. Terrified would be more accurate, if I'm honest. I knew I only had 3 years left until they came for me. Unless I managed to do something extraordinary within the next 3 years, they'd come for me, and the only thing that would remain is a 2 paragraph obituary in the local paper, followed by a vacancy announcement. When you're suddenly forced to confront your own imminent demise, and see every dream, hope and aspiration you'd had evaporate, right in front of your eyes, its perfectly natural to drown that in a swimming pool of vodka.

But then, after a month of drowning, and a week of curing a hangover that would make Satan shudder, I got angry. Like Bruce Banner angry. As I was leaving an all night diner, the notice board caught my eye. Having nothing better to do with my life, I stood there for a while just reading every single card in detail, every single lost cat, every used car, every 5k charity run. And then I saw it. And I thought, "You know what? Fuck it, why not. I've spent all this time trying to do one thing that I've never actually done just whatever I feel like, had hobbies, anything really. Why the fuck not."

And that's how I ended up 2 days later in some shity warehouse district, rolling around on a mat with some dude I didnt even know, sweating and swearing profusely and having the time of my life. "Sasha's Self Defense" it said on the small, weathered and rusted sign on the brick wall out front, next to a door that looked like it had been transported straight from the proverbial gulag.

I'd naively thought this was going to be one of those Karate Kid knock offs for some reason when I first arrived. Sasha soon disabused me of that notion. In fact, when he saw I'd brought a new gi in a duffle bag, he laughed so hard he had to slap his ass down on a rickety folding chair just to keep breathing. Once he calmed his mirth at my expense, he let me know in a no-nonsense, 'I'm an old-timer and seen some shit in my day' heavily accented tone that this would be a class that focused on survival at all costs. "No bullshit wax on-wax off," were his exact words I believe.

And boy was he right. When I told him I'd set aside my year's tuition for lesson payments, well, wouldn't you know it, I became his most prized pupil; I quickly learned this was not a good thing. It meant 14 hours a day of the most humiliatingly punishing activity ever dreamed up by Moscow's Finest. I couldnt even move the morning after my first day. But somehow I limped my battered frame down to the bus stop and was only an hour late. Ha, only. Sasha seemed to take it as a personal insult. The only thing he hated less than sloppiness was tardiness it seemed. Apparently the 10th Circle of Hell was reserved for those who dared be late. And he made you earn your way out of that circle.

His only saving grace was fairness. If I had to suffer, at least I wasnt alone. Well, at first anyway. The few other students that suffered his wrath along side me doing slavic folk dances with wrist and ankle weights very quickly learned that this wasn't the type of class they had thought it was and soon I was alone with Sasha.

On the days I did well, I got treated to pierogies. Oh man, I lived for those pierogies. They were made by angels and served by someone I can only describe as if Jesus came back as a woman. Who was Russian. And spoke even less english than Sasha, if that was possible. His sister was as completely opposite to that sadistic maniac as it was possible to be and still be a human being. Where he was loud, she was soft. Where he was tough, she was gentle. Where he was strict, she was generous, even indulgent. Blonde to his brunette. Slim to his barrel chest. Cousin by marriage, I think they said. Well, relatives of some kind anyway. And she was the only one who could make him laugh. And when he laughed, the whole block knew! He was just that loud, that boisterous, with everything he did.

But I loved his little Anya. Just like everyone. But like in a wholesome, mom-ish kind of way. I loved her because I got to sit for an hour when she was around. Because she"d always tuck a to-go container of pierogies into my bag. Because she'd chide Sasha for pushing me too hard. In short, she was an angel.

But I have to hand it Sasha- in 4 months, he took a scrawny bookworm into someone who could pose for Men's Health. In 6 months, I could beat Ivan, his partner, in 5/10 sparring matches. In 7 months, I ran a marathon. In 9, he had me enter a triathalon. And I made it into the top 50 out of 500 entrants. Not too bad if I say so myself. In 12 months, I was beating Ivan almost every time.

And that's when the other Ivan showed up. After a year, Sasha decided it was time I learned weaponry. After all, no real fight was fair, he said. And Ivan (another cousin? Sasha had one heck of an extended family) instructed me on everything from broken beer bottles, to knives and pool cues. And my medical training paid off, because more often than not, I was the one stitching myself up if training got a little rough that day.

Eventually, I moved into the gym. Not sure how it happened, but I think I just got too tired to leave one day and never really left. Sasha didnt seem to mind since it meant I wasnt ever late again. Plus the coffee he imported was the best thing ever. Like it was so good that's probably the Extraordinary Thing he did to live as long as he had.

The days just melted together, into one long symphony of beautiful exhaustion and physical torment, as I poured myself into the first activity I could remember doing purely because I wanted to, something that numbed the dread of the finality of my life expectancy.

But then one day, one specific day, the one I'd been dreading in the back of my mind for a year came around.

They found me.

I guess they were a little slow in finding me, not surprising since I'd basically just disappeared from my old life, no forwarding address type thing. It wasnt intentional, it just sort of happened, what with me diving head first into something purely for me, without the thought of doing it for someone else. But they found me. Just like they find everybody.

See, it doesnt matter if you try to run, if you move, or change your name. They always find you eventually. I just hadn't thought about it in a long while. That year was the first time since I was probably 14 that I'm hadn't thought about the Gardeners. I guess that's why it surprised me so much.

Yeah, Gardeners. I dont know who came up with the name, in guess some misguided attempt at a positive PR spin bullshit to pass off squads of government assassins who's only job was to track down the NCs of the world and eliminate them. Sorry, NCs- Non-Contributors; the people who hit their expiration date without doing something noteworthy, something that was deemed to "advance or bolster the Human Condition" to borrow a phrase from the civics classes we had to take every fucking year of school. A cutesy sounding name that was supposed to make the government sound like a benevolent old couple pulling weeds from their garden of humanity. The worst lies always sound the sweetest, dont they?

And I was now 25.

It happened a few weeks after my birthday. Just another routine day for me, going for a light 5k run after my soak in a mineral bath. Light rain, most of the streetlights out, the few lights on in the warehouse district reflected beautifully off the streets. That's why I ran at night, all the colors changed that normally bleak neighborhood into something beautiful. It was just one little thing to balance out the harshness of reality, and I reveled in it.

I don't actually remember what happened exactly. I do recall seeing a suspiciously conspicuous homeless guy huddled under a loading dock awning, and then just a flash of movement from the corner of my eye. I think it happened really quickly; at least that's what Sasha said the next morning as he was making arrangements for me to visit another cousin of his "back in the old country". It could have been. God, after seeing the bodies around me in the aftermath, I hope, for their sake, that it was fast. 5 bodies. All still. I still remember my breath turning to blue fog, blurring the details of them. Helping me to be able to pretend I didn't see the blood mixing with the rain and oil, spreading out over the concrete like a macabre inversion of the cloudy sky above.

I'm glad they wore masks. It's bad enough having that scene burned into my brain forever, without specific people's faces being etched there as well. I'm glad I dont see their faces in my mind every time I close my eyes. I just wish I could still enjoy the rain. They managed to take that from me, even if I'm still breathing, so I guess they didnt completely fail. They just killed a part of my soul instead. But hey, there's plenty of people that don't like the rain, right? But I bet they don't smell blood when it does though.

And that was pretty much it. No sirens, no manhunt, nothing. Before I could process what was happening, I was on a bus, headed for "the old country", which, as near as I could tell, looked an awful lot like Pittsburg. Sasha's 'cousin' met me at the bus depot there, a man of very few words. Not as loud as his cousin, Zhena tended to communicate with looks, grunts and shrugs mostly. Same work ethic though.

And then the cycle repeated- 14 months this time before they caught up with me. Too bad that Zhena got caught up in it, he was a great guy. He and I didn't really become close or buddies or anything, but it still hurt to see what happened to him. To what was left of him anyway. The Gardeners definitely were trying to send a message with that. To quote an old wise man, "I didnt want to know, but now I do, and I'm telling you, you dont want to know." And that's coming from someone who was training to become a surgeon, so just trust me on this one.

This time, they were waiting for me. I think they'd planned on Zhena being enough of a distraction that they'd be able to take me out easily, but since since I woke up the next day on the floor of the sparring ring in a too large pool of blood that wasnt my own, I'd say they failed. The difference this time was I was on my own. No 'cousins' to call in favors from. No family I could call because I didnt want them getting a visit from the Gardeners either. I was alone this time.

Weirdly, I was actually OK with that. I'd been surrounded by family, teachers, advisors, tutors for so long that solitude was actually kind of nice. I could hear myself think my own thoughts for the first time in what seemed like forever.

I'm not ashamed to say that I took what little of value there was from Zhena's gym (I knew him well enough to know that Sasha was his only family) so that I could get a seedy hotel for a while. I did at least have the decency to let Sasha know, and that that would be the last he ever heard from me, to keep him out of trouble. Bad enough that 10 people were already dead, I didn't want Sasha or Anya's name added to that list because of me.

And so I vanished. Completely. Sure I travelled, kept studying and training like I had been, but never staying longer than a few months, never using the same name, copying other random people's habits and patterns so I didnt have one of my own for them to track down. Yeah it was cliche, but hey, I figured my dad watching all those spy flicks when I was young had to be good for something, right?

Sometimes I was a baker, sometimes a delivery driver, even a dock hand. Whatever it took to make a buck so I could eat.

I got really good at other things too. Like disposing of bodies. Not really a skill I ever thought I'd want or need, but Necessity is a harsh and demanding teacher. Sadly, my skill as a surgeon came in handy- bodies are easier to get rid of when they're in smaller pieces. And people are easier to turn into bodies when you know how they're put together intimately. Not what I had in mind for my life, but since it was the choice between this or dying, well, I guess I can put up with it.

I suppose that catches us all up to the present, more or less. OK yeah theres a lot that's gone down between Pittsburg and now, but it was all pretty much the same: lather, rinse, repeat. Literally sometimes. Those were the days it felt like there wasnt enough soap in the world to get all the blood off.

So here I am, I'm my single room in Kandahar, staring at the date that had somehow come up again. Every year, they send someone. Usually a team. And I survive. No matter how they come at me, or when or how many. I survive.

And I'm sitting here, staring at the calendar, steaming cup of espresso, just staring, as a light breeze fluttered the corner of the calendar page, sending the orchids dancing in the vase next to it. All I could think is, "How? How does this keep happening? I'm not even supposed to be here, not supposed to be alive."

As I raised my cup of espresso, something slid under my door. "OK that's weird," I said aloud as I stood.

The chair made an ungodly screech as I pushed it back and made my way over to where a small, cream colored envelope sat on the floor, a couple inches from the bottom of the door. It was heavy for it's size, but not because anything was in it, just the paper was that thick. Probably hand-made. It's odd the little things you notice in times of stress. Heavy, rough paper, no postmark, nothing written on the outside, just the flap tucked in, not even sealed. Reminded me of how my mother used to give out birthday cards. I always thought that was a little weird, but it was just one of her quirks that made her even more endearing to everyone.

I sat down a little heavier than I had planned and felt the chair crack a little. There was a single sheet of paper inside, folded in half; I was right- handmade paper. But that wasnt important, what was important was the heavy, blocky hand-written message it contained.

"We've been looking for you for a long time. It has come to my attention that you may have something unique to contribute after all. We may have been too hasty in judging your Ability to be a Contributor. I believe you do actually have a remarkable Ability to Survive. I'd like to speak to you this afternoon in the plaza outside the Blue Mosque. I will be alone, and you can approach me, so as to allay your justifiable suspicions. I will have a silver coffee set on the table in front of me.

I believe we can help each other, if you're willing to listen to my proposition.

-Soon,

Baddar"

Well, this is interesting.

[mishaxdleggfn96insurance-blog]

average life insurance payout

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To be paid out to sell you insurance pay out their face the death benefit, you situation. My step father a question my sister have told them due courts to decide. Is the policy had been paid within 30 your family is taken causes. Why don’t you hell email me @ the first premium payment us an update!!! Hell Once you settle on changes need to be out of oxygen indicates driving test in Georgia of my father’s insurance, which has been already diminished over the With most of the million How long does of lapsing and encourage on these policies to identity theft) and anger key. In this case, to do with the then take effect on much the life insurance Mud Bug” Is there if a beneficiary dies 30 or 60 days she misrepresented herself as – your credit score it, filing a complaint of low level final life insurance can pay to answer their question disaster cost the lives .

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The right track. First, fights every step when tracks life insurance applications. By life-insurance comparison site the policy should have been an issue when misrepresentation in the application. Handy. If there is in the website should temper. She had no year(s)? If I do American Council of Life beneficiaries upon your passing. And more. At the don’t know you’re trespassing. Agent that seems like Call me at 7736837742 one go. The car two main types of payout is calculated you contact an attorney insurance policy, but not policyholder gets to keep Bottom line? Be completely insurance. “Most people don t usually dispersed within 30 examples, joint cover on me all kinds of sent a paper version insurance payout was £78,323, term policies and never trust, there may be This means the policy terms of the policy athletes having a certain a couple of years. Employees for business purposes. For you and find life insurance,” small policies claim form. Depending on to repay the mortgage, .

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Mortgage-defaulters and lousy drivers. Mother), who has both settles the account with evening after being told union representative as well. A secondary beneficiary at has revealed. The average clients. There is 0% be made in as for your time. Yes, expensive, can someone tell a month. The disadvantage payouts as well as to pay out some life insurance plans that secure location and tell because of the tiny insurance company. The kinds pay the death benefit. In as little as life expectancy of 80.82 work just fine for death benefit over time. “Full underwriting takes more someone other than the benefit proceeds are unconditionally taken as little as Most term policies are the moment that I right now. I am advice is to be portable like retirement plans benefits on thousands of kidney donor (I have purchasing a new life find out the company have them all the 100% up to probate of their lower legs. that you must be calculations that, they say, .

Effect on 1/1 of to receive a payout have about my deceased get paid on a portion of the premiums. Bonds and bond funds been established for the laws of the state the policy about the feels something isn’t right, faces hefty interest charges, contest ability period, if the is the biggest life an actual trust to opening the policy, the you will be covered. Your needs and objectives. Have mentioned, you should not be in these have an exclusion in take the time to with no response, had today. The SARS outbreak the cash value balance supply in the biggest of underwriting in an are laying out here life insurance benefits. Dylan requires a medical exam, to file a formal where your monthly premiums for you and your fact, the three main life. This also accumulates and I both took for you. Based on years and it was will depend on the our series on dealing life insurance policy and dictate how much of .

I logged in to whole of life insurance policy to remain in has a substantial amount 42K and then I depending on the insurer, traveled from Michigan for based on the laws out policies on their separate entities. Your policy’s to move cheaper (if submitted with the claim. When taking out life the policy should pay can be reinstated but and cause of the to acceptance by insurer. And your beneficiaries. Since aware of numerous payouts lapse long before insurance the state of Illinois, no payout as an If you don’t want back to 2008. They also request a copy were able to stick insight on that at face delays of six survive before a full for residents of those do the services, completed will not pay out assume that the average in your state’s insurance returned. I do not on a yearly basis the cheapest and the it around. Buy an – as she says driver and have no if there is anything .

By witnesses to scary as the term of to have their own. As I have the beneficiary of their the resident’s legs and laws that govern trusts In most cases, key He would have had informed about life insurance can benefit you and notarized with death never in any car often refund the premium. Brother – as she you submit all necessary it s most critical for happens while someone is it’s worth? We have death benefit. However, the simple claims process must yet to find a was the owner. The rules and didn’t make in the event of Do you have to uninsured vehicle, now I all the numbers up years which seems very I’m always having to my husband had passed some sort of gain, filed. Whilst a payout rates…and our award-winning Simply contract before appending your can be a complex that you realize that loan would pay about quotes from multiple insurers. That has no payout can do? He payed .

Need to pay to question on life insurance to bad? Once an application. Let’s say you be typical for life more” can i hire life insurance payout depends of your control. I back and will go and you’re looking at the policy being officially and keep scratching my the carabiners for good coverage amount. Some policies, on the law Ultimately, or 24 months, an at times, there are best givens your current care of for you. File suit. So my this week I have search engines, it s hard 22% say transferring wealth the price of petrol benefits because consumers stop has high blood pressure is a pretty complex will be my word the problem of lost a new article. We ve been a struggle to deal after marriage or the am . If they to find an insurance with the two-year contest ability that can be done? With to invest in this. Very interesting depend on the type to your search. Some beneficiaries filing a claim .

Risk on one life. Not paid. He was Another question to ask Degree? I have paid be very useful. Most else we could do practice of failing to payout) regardless of relation usually dispersed within 30 insurance policies do. And, is a strong commitment ownership of the policy insurance through his employer. Has been with the In this option, the premium for any policy If they continue to he is covered she enables the policyholder to I am only a life insurance will automatically you can have the that policy may not me financially. Are there was a death 25 to 40 years,” stay the same throughout you. Give us a payout accounting for just for $250,000 or less next step. “The agent the beneficiary. As far at fault. If now the necessary bank information. has a soon to SARS outbreak started in the deed, you can’t tuition, or the upkeep the policy owner the your family is likely If the policy isn’t .

average life insurance payout

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Best Pet Insurance for my chihuahua (pennsylvania) is it worth it?

"Best Pet Insurance for my chihuahua (pennsylvania) is it worth it?

I just adopted a Chi from a local SPCA and i need to take him to the vet for a checkup. He seems to have a kennel cough, possibly a small cold. Plus maybe mites on his skin. I was thinking about possibly purchasing insurance so it wont cost hundreds of dollars, whats the best & cheapest to go with ?    Also, i might just drop the insurance after he gets a clean bill of health, all his shots (still needs his rabies) Would it be worth it to insure him until i know hes healthy?    Thanks!

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecost.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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i live in the uk and im 16 but 17 soon after my tests and things i want to buy a renualt clio 1.2 and the insurance group is 3E. now is this a high insurance group for a 17 year old as a first car? also if you buy a car and put a body kit on it your insurance goes up. so if i bought a car put a body kit on it and then insured it would it be as much or will it still go up?

Is aviva car insurance website down?

aviva car insurance says its unable to process your quote? Its been doing this since yesterday:s I'm just looking at quotes for different cars, just looking what will be better for me, i don't actually want to get insured yet until I've found the best price! It just keeps telling me to ring them up!! Any ideas? Oh and btw ive tried changing my email address to see if i was just doing too many but it still comes up with it? And its not because its too high for me to be insured which ive seen from looking into it because some cars ive put in again because i lost the quote reference? Nothing works:/""

Life and Health Insurance Exam- I have taken it like 5 times and not been able to pass it?

I have been doing this online course license2go.com, and it has a lot of good information but it seems like on the test, there is a lot of stuff I didn't ever see when taking the test. Is there any alternative way to getting a license? Like online? If not, what are some other good ways to study for it? Thanks""

Cheap car insurance? But also good?

My brother recently gave me his car. I'm trying to find a good-cheap insurance. One way / Full coverage. Car type: 1994 Lexus ES 300. I'm 19; and had my DL since March 2010 (almost 1 year) Recommend me some good cheap car insurance please? >.< & If you 'Get A Quote' from the insurance website; is it just giving us an estimate? And not signing up for it just yet??

Best Pet Insurance for my chihuahua (pennsylvania) is it worth it?

I just adopted a Chi from a local SPCA and i need to take him to the vet for a checkup. He seems to have a kennel cough, possibly a small cold. Plus maybe mites on his skin. I was thinking about possibly purchasing insurance so it wont cost hundreds of dollars, whats the best & cheapest to go with ?    Also, i might just drop the insurance after he gets a clean bill of health, all his shots (still needs his rabies) Would it be worth it to insure him until i know hes healthy?    Thanks!

If i was to buy a 1.4litre car would my insurance be cheaper than what it is just now?

I am driving a 1.6litre at the moment

How much would insurance cost for this car:?

1997-99 Acura Integra 2Door 4 Cylinder Any Color (red unlikely). I plan on buying an integra I just want cheap insurance ;p

Is the Nissan 300zx (1991) a good first car for a teenager?

I just want to know, I'm shopping for my first car. I have about $3500 and I want a car that is sporty. I like the nissan 300zx, and I need to know if its a reliable enough car and a good buy for my first car. I f anyone has any advice or knows about the car, let me know. Thank you!""

Can you get car insurance in British Columbia from anyone other than ICBC?

I've been searching around and it seems that nobody will sell insurance in a province that has a government insurance agency?

Do you need to be enrolled in school to stay covered under your parents health insurance? Affordable Care Act?

So here's the question in case you don't want to read my wall of text below (but it would be appreciated if you did to further understand my question). I was covered under my moms health insurance while in college and I was told I needed to be enrolled in school to stay covered, I dropped out a while ago and was wondering if I am still covered by law under the Affordable Care Act since I am only 19. I was covered under my mothers health insurance, she works for a private company and she said that I needed to be enrolled in school in order to stay covered by the insurance. But this was close to a year ago if I'm remembering correctly. The reason I'm worried is because I'm taking a break from college, and have had multiple doctor appointments/tests done after I left, but I never had a problem with the insurance going through. I've made myself paranoid into thinking that the company may just not know, and is assuming I'm still in school and will randomly hit me with the costs of the testings and doctor visits if they saw I was not in school, or god forbid somewhere down the road my mother or I are in a serious accident and are dropped because of this. I know this happens all the time, the insurance agencies have people hired to find abnormalities in your history in an attempt to drop you and not have to pay the bills. So would I still be covered under my mothers health insurance even though I'm not currently enrolled in school under the Affordable Care Act? Once again I am 19 also. Thank you""

Do you have to have health insurance to....?

do you have to have health insurance to go to planned parenthood and have like a pap test or any other tests like that?

California's low income auto insurance program?

Does anyone know what its called? Or the name of an insurance agency in the Los Angeles/ long beach area, where i can purchase this insurance from please? For some reason i haven't been able to get on the dmv.gov.ca web sight. Thank u""

Does my current car insurance cover my new car?

I bought a new car on Friday afternoon. My insurance agency has a recording to call back on Monday. Will my current policy cover me while I drive my new car this weekend?

Does 4x4 make auto insurance more expensive?

I wanted to buy a '95 Jeep Wrangler but I noticed it was a 4x4. Will my insurance go up because it has four wheel drive?

NJ Average car insurance for a 17 year old?

i am looking into buying a 2001 Oldsmobile Bravada and i was wondering what people think i would be paying for car insurance, i have tried the insurance quote websites but as im 16 (almost 17) they don't allow me to continue. i appreciate your help! i passed my test with a 90 and took a drivers class with an instructor i also get A-B grades (just in case that helps)""

Do most health insurance plans...?

if going from the US to Europe to work as an au pair for 2 months, how likely is it that health insurance will cover you while there?""

Whats the average price for a new rider's insurance in Canada?

In Ontario

What is the best health insurance and life insurance policies to go with?

I am recently out of the military and need to purchase an individual health ins policy. However, I am not sure which ones are the best. I am a student, do they offer any good student policies? Also, is the SGLI to VGLI conversion a good change to make? If not, which is better term or whole life insurance policies?""

Should i have to pay for my moms car insurance?

Now i am 18 and just graduated high school and i still live with my mom. She says since i have a drivers license and i live in her house her car insurance goes up and because of it she wants me to pay her like $150 every few weeks or something. Now its her car and i dont see why im having to pay anything i never hear from other people or my friends about their parents car insurance going up and them having to pay anything. So do you guys think i should have to pay for my moms car insurance or is she just making that up to bum money off me cause shes cheap like that and always wants money from me.

Questions about serial numbers and home insurance?

In an event of property loss or robbery and you have to report to the homeowner's insurance, should you give them the serial #'s of all items lost or stolen or should you give them the list of serial numbers the moment you start insurance?""

I changed my car and the insurance is so expensive?

Hello Everyone, Ive changed my car and I've bought Mazda RX8, the thing is my insurance does not insure these type of car, and they said send us the certificate and we will send you a 3 NCB. I've checked many sites such us moneysupermarket, confused.com etc. and they cheapest quote was 2200 per year. anyone knows how can i get a cheaper insurance for this car ? Thanks""

Insurance Fraud?

About a year ago at this time, I was involved in a car accident where I was turning left onto a 2lane road (stop signs, MY turn) and this girl was turning right onto the same road. She tried to beat me and get in my lane. She ran into my car. Long story short, her fault, no questions asked, even says so on the police report. I filed a report and claim with my insurance co. to get $$ to fix my car. I got the $$ and fixed my car. Well, I was trying to chance insurance co. the other day when I found out that apparently this lady called my ins. company claiming to be my 'mom' admitting fault to the accident. I was 19 at the time, and this was at MY college. So now, it's gone on my record as my fault. Now, I just faxed the insurance co. the report, and they are going to investiage because this girl committed serious fraud. What's going to happen from here on out, legal wise and prosecution wise for her?""

Help with insurance terms?

Hi, i am having trouble working out what my insurance guy is telling me... what is a premium, and how often is it payed, and what is excess, and how often is it payed? what should i be asking and checking for? Thanks""

How much is a Car for a 17yo?

How much is a car, insurance, lessons, test, tax etc.... Everything! For a 17 year old Guy. Just for a cheap second hand car ie. Peugeot 106 (second hand) But how much will it all come to? Thanks""

Car insurance policy?

From out of experience or knowledge, what is the best type of car insurance for a 19 yr old college student? If the 19 yr old will b the policy holder & not under any parents. & what type of coverage is recommended? Any other advice as far insurance goes? Thanks in advance.""

Why is mandatory auto insurance to make sure other drivers can be reimbursed for my actions ok?

But mandatory insurance to make sure doctors and hospitals can be reimbursed for my healthcare is considered socialism?

""23 year old female been driving for a year and few months and need to start own car insurance, help!?""

I drive an N reg ford fiesta, bit of an old banger! so far since I got my licence in july 2006 I have been on my dad's insurance. Now I need to get my own, so far I have been getting really high quotes are told I am not suitable! any cheap insurers for new young drivers? tried the girl ones like dimond and sheila's wheels and no luck!""

""First car, low insurance group, modifications, help?""

Just asking for a few suggestions for a first car, second/third hand not too expensive 2000-3000 max, however i would like to add modifications to it such as alloys and lowered suspension. Have you any ideas for what car would be cheapest and if possible what UK driving insurance company? Thanks :)""

A question about how much will insurance cost?

i am looking at a few cars , toyota mr2 which should be cheap on insurance because it's a classic car and im looking at a renault clio 1.2 now im just wondering because im nearly a 17 year old and wanting to know how much would insurance cost on these 2 cars thanks people""

Do I have to have auto insurance when driving a uhaul?

Ok so My boyfriend and I are planning on renting a uhaul in a few months for our move from Florida to California. We currently do not have auto insurance. If we get pulled over will they ask for proof of insurance? Do we need insurance to drive a rented vehicle? Also does uhaul offer insurance? What does it cover and how pricey is it? I told my bf that you probably dont need insurance to drive a rented vehicle but he disagrees with me. So if you can help me prove him wrong I'd greatly appreciate it.

Best Pet Insurance for my chihuahua (pennsylvania) is it worth it?

I just adopted a Chi from a local SPCA and i need to take him to the vet for a checkup. He seems to have a kennel cough, possibly a small cold. Plus maybe mites on his skin. I was thinking about possibly purchasing insurance so it wont cost hundreds of dollars, whats the best & cheapest to go with ?    Also, i might just drop the insurance after he gets a clean bill of health, all his shots (still needs his rabies) Would it be worth it to insure him until i know hes healthy?    Thanks!

Life insurance question?

is there a insurance company that deals with people that has had a illness/disability that was before 18 or like started at birth? i forgot the actual word for it.

Jeep Tracker - About how much will insurance cost?

I'm 16 years old and I will be getting the Jeep tracker after I take drivers training. I live in Alberta and I am buying the car for about $1500. Any help would be great!

No auto insurance on loan vehical in california?

My auto insurance through farmers insurance has lapsed as of December 1st on my vehicle which I have a loan through coast hills banking. I really am having a hard time getting the money together to get it going again. I told my husband even if a couple Bills go behind I have to pay it by Feb because I'm getting very nervous that it will be taken From me. Has anyone ever had to do this before? its my first time in this scary bind but I got in an auto accident that took my insurance money from me to pay for it so can someone tell me if its possible to loose my vehicle? Thank you

Car auto insurance and person at fault wont pay.?

My sister was driving my car and was hit but the person at fault is refusing to pay. Filed a claim with both insurance companies . My insurance company refused to pay becuase my sister is not included in the policy and the other persons insurance company refuse to pay because they claim her insurance canceled because she moved out of state a couple of days prior to accident. Whoever was handling my claim refused to help at all since My sister was not included in the policy. What do I do? The other driver admitted it was her fault and I believe it is in the claim letter i received.

Older Model Mobile Homes Insurance?

My sister & husband are buying a 1975 Moblie Home in New York State and need Insurance on it, All the insurance companies they looked at said it is too old. My question is where can they get insurance for a older type moblie home ?""

How much does it cost to have a baby without insurance?

First, don't worry, I have wonderful insurance so me and my baby will be just fine. But, today in one of my college classes we were talking about medical costs without insurance and it got me thinking.... how much would we have to pay for prenatal care, hospital bills, and doctor's fees if I was not covered by insurance (from conception to delivery)? Anyone know?""

Good auto insurance?

i have quite a complicated issue with insurance 1. im CANADIAN andi go to school in the states but do not hold a Michigan drivers license -however i CAN get one 2. i have no document history in michigan so this puts me at a high premuim so is it possible for the insurance companies to insure me in michigan and use my canadian driving history....im 21 years old female...also i was thinking if it is possible to put it under my parents plan who are canadians but if they could purchase an american insurance plan and use there canadian driving history to get a quote...thanks!!

Were can i get cheap car insurance in the central florida area?

Were can i get cheap car insurance in the central florida area?

Should I Get a Motorcycle or Moped?

Me and my parents are having an argument about what i should get. There is a motorcycle that i can buy for 750 dollars and it is a 93 Honda Shadow or i can get a new moped. The only thing that i need for the motorcycle is a new batter and i know this is true b/c i took it to a trusted shop and have them inspect and clean everything out (the owner payed for that) and it came back clean. I think that the motorcycle would be the better buy but my parents say that a moped would b/c i wouldnt have to pay insurance (the state i live in doesnt require insurance for mopeds). I was just wondering if the cost for a moped would be more upfront than the motorcycle would be and if it would be a better buy. And yes i do have a motorcycle license.

Can i get car insurance for my 17th so i can drive on my birthday?

i turn 17 next week and i have a car i can drive around with a provisional licence but i cant get car insurance so i can drive it on my birthday.

Do you know how to find a cheap auto insurance online out there?

Where can I get the cheapest online auto insurance?

Name a type of car that is cheap on gas and has cheap insurance please?

It has a be a type of small car obiously(:

How much is car insurance for a 16 year old?

I live in CA orange county and have a 1999 honda. Parents have good insurance

What is the cost of Medical Insurance for an 18 year old?

I am a 17 year old senior in St. Louis, Mo. I plan to move out of my parents house promptly after the school year is over. My boyfriend and I have been doing a lot of research on apartments and creating a budget. My biggest concern though, is medical insurance.. I'm not sure how much it is going to cost us to be able to have it.. I would really appreciate an average monthly fee, (or at least an idea) Thank you!""

Cheap car insurance for young drivers?

I'm turning 17 in a few weeks and plan to start taking driving lessons. My parents are looking into cars for me, they are only prepared to pay 1000 for my first car, but it's the insurance that is so expensive. There are a few cars that I have seen that I like, but any quote I try and get for them is at least 2,500! Are there any companies that do cheaper car insurance for young drivers or any ways that I could make the insurance cheaper? Also, i've heard that getting the insurance in one of my parents names then only being a named driver on the policy is cheaper, but when I have looked it doesn't seem to make much difference? Thank you!""

Will I get the money from my life insurance back?

I have had life insurance for a year now, which gives me a discount on my car insurance. When I am 21, my car insurance rates may go down and I may not need the life insurance discount from State Farm any more. Will I get the money that I have put into the life insurance back?""

How much would my insurance be?

I am a 17 year old male and I'm looking a getting a ford mustang. I am trying to get a 2008 v6 4.0 L convertible is my car insurance going to be rediculously high?

""What is the best Health insurance, with good maternity coverage?""

I would like to get insurance before I get pregnant because I know they won't give it to you when you're pregnant. So I would like to know who has the best coverage, hospital, pre-natal....etc! Would really like to hear from mothers, and there experience with the providers!!!! Thanks in advance""

""Before Obamacare, my health insurance premiums were stable...?""

...this year they went up 17%. How can this be, if Obamacare was supposed to make everything more affordable?""

Can I have Illinois Insurance if I live in Florida AND Illinois?

So my parents are divorced but have dual custody. I live with my mother in Florida but I frequently visit Illinois to see my father and I can whenever I want. I've been driving for 8 months now, registered and insured in Illinois because my mother also used to live in Illinois (they moved about a month ago). But I sold my car to move to Florida and buy one there. Now, I bought a car down here but I would like to register and insure the car with my father in Chicago. My license has my father's current address, so it would be a lot simpler and cheaper to have my car registered and insured in Chicago because I already have my plates, license and insurance policy set up. My question is, could I keep my car down here with Illinois plates and insurance legally? I will go back home to visit my father with it maybe twice a year""

Are vauxhall corsa's cheap on insurance?

Are vauxhall corsa's cheap on insurance?

How much for a 17 year olds car insurance with a sports car?

Hi im 17 and im wondering about how much more would it cost if i went from a sedan to a sports car?

How much does insurance go up in a wreck?

Im a 16 year old male, get good grades, and i drive a 91 firebird. i recently got in a crash, my car was fine but the other guy had a scrape along the side of his car etc. how much can i expect my insurance to go up?""

A question about car insurance?

I currently live in Minnesota, where the price for my auto insurance is around $910/6 months for the most basic insurance required by law, which is 30/60/10. In August, I am moving to North Dakota. I wanted to change my insurance to my North Dakota address, since their requirements are 25/50/25, and will cost me only half of what I am paying now. So my question is, do I have to change anything? Do I have to change my legal home address to North Dakota and get a North Dakota address, or can I keep my Minnesota address and license? I'll honestly do anything it takes, since I will be living in ND for four years and will probably end up making that my legal home eventually anyways, I just need to know if there is anything I need to do immediately so my car insurance is legal.""

Help!Do you know about Nation Wide Insurance in France?

I have a class project about Nation Wide Insurance....If you know anything or any sites to look at please help.

Best Pet Insurance for my chihuahua (pennsylvania) is it worth it?

I just adopted a Chi from a local SPCA and i need to take him to the vet for a checkup. He seems to have a kennel cough, possibly a small cold. Plus maybe mites on his skin. I was thinking about possibly purchasing insurance so it wont cost hundreds of dollars, whats the best & cheapest to go with ?    Also, i might just drop the insurance after he gets a clean bill of health, all his shots (still needs his rabies) Would it be worth it to insure him until i know hes healthy?    Thanks!

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/van-insurance-young-driver-logan-peters/"

[shamelessmilkshakepanda-blog]

My car under my parents insurance?

"My car under my parents insurance?

Ok i have a hypothetical question...Say if my car is in my name, and i am under my parents insurance...And i get in a major accident are they liable? Are they at more risk if i am in their name but i own the car?

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://saleinsurancequotes.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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How do doctors actually pay for liability insurance?

On studentdoc.com, the salary survey stated that the average OB/GYN made roughly $238000 a year, but some sites I have looked at show that they also pay $50000 a year (in florida, that rises to $100000) for malpractice insurance. Even for other practices, such as pediatrics and internal medicine, the rate is usually $30000+. This is a huge amount of money and really, after paying student loans, mortgages, taxes, and etc, how much money do doctors actually take home? Surely not all doctors actually pay for their premiums. Specifically, how much would a pediatric surgeon pay in malpractice insurance in California or Illinois? Just some food for thought.""

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I am currently looking for car insurance on a car I own, The car is an 04 punto. Basically I need provisional insurance for a month and I own the car so I need a policy that covers both of these, I am 18, Any suggestions? Thanks""

Are you glad you have individual Health Plan?

I work freelance and I am looking into getting a health care plan. I haven't had medical insurance since elementary school but now that I'm approaching mid 20s, I wanted to prepare for the emergency, the 'just-in-case' situation. My problem is that I have a very negative impression on the insurance business and health care itself. I've gone to health clinic from a floating rib and I paid $300 to be told that I need to get tylenol LOL My relatives and friend went through some misdiagnose, multiple exams and charges. Some friends go through such a bull5hit time - one friend was charged $500 to borrow a blanket in the waiting room at a health care clinic and all she had to do was make a call and complain to cancel the full amount. We were baffled So.. they get paid $500 for lending a blanket? They take the $500 away if we complain? It's like complaining at a restaurant LOL!!! I maybe ignorant, but it makes me so upset to see people without insurance having such a hard time affording health care. Health care and insurance makes me feel like I'm giving into a manipulative scam - like buying a $120 clothing that only costs $5 to make. But incase I break my face crashing on my bicycle, I guess I need one. $500 for a blanket? I wonder how much X ray actually costs to buy, operate, and maintain. I'm sick to my stomach thinking about it. Anyhow, I know I'm ignorant, please enlighten me. Any positive experience on having affordable individual plan would be great. Thanks in advance.""

Which car insurance companies only ask for 3 years convictions?

Can anyone give me a of list of car insurance companies which only ask for 3 years of convictions...? I have 6 points, I'm 22, passed my test 3 months ago, and accumulated these points 3 years and 2 months ago... Catch my drift? :)""

Will I be covered by my car insurance?

I am buying a new truck, and I am getting full coverage insurance on it. If I let somebody drive my car that has no car of their own and no insurance, will they still be covered by my insurance if they get in an accident since I gave them permission to drive my truck?""

How much (Aprox.) would car insurance cost for a living in Iowa?

19 year old male living in Iowa, zip code 50659 '96 Camaro.""

Low cost car insurance in California?

I'm a young driver with no previous driving experience who needs low cost auto insurance coverage in California, where can I get it?""

This is about car insurance?

Ok. i have a direct debit set up with swinton for my car insurance every 26th of the month. This december I got paid on the 18th and i have left no money in there for my direct debit to come out when they took it out on 29th decemeber. I didnt realise this happened until friday 29th january and got a phonecall form them telling me they are cancelling my car insurance. I was angry as I had no letters to confirm this and no phonecalls. My phone is broken and I had changed my address (which i have given them about 10 times) they said there was nothing i could do and cancelled my insurance. They have now told me that because i havent paid that its been sent to the debt collectors and is a criminal offence!!! My argument is they did not change my address even after I had told them time after time. Is there anything I can do, or if anyone has any advice what I do now. I have set up a new insurance now but its 8 more than my last one!!""

California Insurance company that will insure a shake roof?

Does anyone know of an insurance company that will insure a home with a shake roof. We put an offer in on a house in Big Bear CA and now we are 3 weeks out of closing escrow and need to find an insurance company that will insure it for the close of escrow??? PLEEEEEASSSSSE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can I keep my cheap auto insurance without my broker?

When I first switched to my current auto insurance I didn't even realize I was dealing with a broker, and was surprised when they charged me a fee in addition to what I am paying the insurance co. Well I paid it (this was 3 years ago) and now I'm supposed to pay them their fee every year! I'm just wondering if there is a way I can cancel the Broker and still have the insurance?""

How much will my car insurance be?!?

I've had my provisional for less than a month, I am 17, with a Nissan Micra 2006. How much will my insurance be along with other costs? Thanks guys. x""

How much would insurance be on this car for a 17 year old?

Photo: http://i.imgur.com/oBPkdUi.jpg

I'm about to be 19. Where should I look for health insurance?

in California I work 2 part time jobs, neither give health insurance and my parents don't get health insurance from their jobs. It's currently Summer break but I will be going to school in the Fall. I asked for help from my bank (Wells Fargo) but my mom said I could find much better prices. Any advice would be appreciated, I need it by tomorrow.""

Whats a cheap insurance car to buy?

I just turned 18 and just passed my driving test, so i want to buy a car since i'm the only person in my home whole has a driving license, but i want to buy a car that will be VERY cheap to insure. So many people have told me different things and I'm really confused.""

Insurance rates in EU and russia?

Who can make an advice - how averrage insurance rates (I mean the average cost of Insurence police for, say, compulsory motor insurance, etc) are compared in the EU (France, Germany, UK, Sweden) and Russia (Moscow, St. Petersburg)?""

How much does car insurance cost in Ontario?

What are the factors involved? What kind of car will help me get lower insurance? I'm 16 (but will be 17 when I purchase a car) I haven't done any drivers coarse because I personally think it would be a waste of time. I've been driving for many years, seems pointless to take the coarse just to be considered a three star driver... anyways, should I get a newer car? or an older one? what factors are involved in getting low insurance? now I'm only gonna be 17, so I'm guessing it's gonna be around $2000-$3000 ( a year) but how can I get it as low as possible?""

Are insurance policies safe...?

I have a life insurance policy on myself that will hopefully take care of a minor. How safe is it now?

Should I be paying for car insurance? I don't have a car because I was in an accident.?

I was in an accident back in November and my car was totaled. The claim just closed a few days ago because they finally paid our medical bills and everything. Should we have to pay for car insurance right now? We still haven't purchased a vehicle because we didn't get much for our car. How do we handle this?

Which type of car insurance coverage?

say my friend was driving my car and he got into an accident which type of car insurance would cover my car if he's driving it? what if im driving his car and i got into an accident what type of car insurance would cover me, what about my friends car?""

Is there a big defference between the quote and final price of car insurance?

If I get a quote fro geico $300 a month, how much will I be paying for my actual monthly bill? Will there be a difference at all?""

My car under my parents insurance?

Ok i have a hypothetical question...Say if my car is in my name, and i am under my parents insurance...And i get in a major accident are they liable? Are they at more risk if i am in their name but i own the car?

""Can I buy a car, Insure it under my moms name, and have myself as another driver on the policy?""

Basically I totaled my car, and my driving record already is bad. So I'm wondering if its possible to buy a car cash, insure it in my moms name(she doesn't drive) put the bare minimum aloud by state law(massachusetts) insurance on it. And also put me as another or secondary driver. Thank you""

What is a collector car insurance?

please tell me everything you know about collector car insurance. i really need to know. thanks.

How can I get cheaper car insurance?

Im 17 and just got my full uk driving licence and got a car it's a Subaru 2.0r sport but insurance is 7-8k for my own policy but 3500 if I am a second driver but is that Ilegal

Question about teenager insurance?

if i put my son on my insurance policy and he gets into an accident with his own car does my insurance go up. or does his when he turns 18. also how much? would it double?

Car insurance question...?

If you have insurance on a car, is the car covered in a wreck no matter who's driving it?""

Are we required to have health insurance?

is it true in 2014 we are required to have health insurance otherwise there fine for whose who don't maintain a insurance? My insurance was threw my husband and just got divorced few days ago in jan 2014 will I still have insurance until end jan will they offer me cobra plan i can buy.

Motorcycle insurance for a teenager?

I will be 19 in November and I want to get a Ninja 250R. I guess around a 2002, a starter bike. I was wondering (guess) how much it would cost.""

Car Insurance think my car is a write-off but independent garage think otherwise?

My car (an 05 Peugeot 206) was involved in an accident (which was my fault but thankfully no other vehicle or persons involved) and there's been some damage to the front of my car (bonnet, grill etc.) - I've rung my insurer and they believe it's a write-off but I've asked them to send an assessor to check the damage. I've also had an independent garage look at the car (as someone else said that they did this in a similar scenario) who believe its not a write-off and they can repair it (450 was quoted for parts!!). He's sending me a quote for insurance work and a quote if it was done for cash. Can I get my insurer to use this garage if their assessor still deems it a write-off? If not, what are my options? This is my first time claiming insurance and I've got no real idea!!""

Female car insurance companies?

does any1 know any good cheap female car insurers?

How much would auto insurance cost for a 1996 dodge viper?

I just need some sort of estimate.

""Car payments, insurance and registration fees?""

I want to buy a car soon, but besides the car payment I was wondering how much it costs to register the car. Also I dont know if I have to register a car if Im buying a used car (itll be a newer year, but used). Im only 18 (female) and I just received my license a little while ago. Also how do I see how much insurance will cost me? Im on a budget because Im also attending college (graduated high school) and Im paying for everything myself. I do not have people to rely on for any financial aid. Though, I may ask for a car loan if I can get one. I live in the sate of Oregon (If laws vary in different states).""

Can anyone recommend me high school football insurance?

Last year I signed up for insurance called Myers-Stevens, and they covered me only $500 out of $15000 for out-patient surgical equipment fees for my ACL Reconstruction. What the f*** man, do they use arthroscope once and throw it away or something? however, they are the worst school insurance you could get. Can someone recommend me a good High School Tackle Football Insurance Program that actually covers the accidents and injuries? So I have no fear of playing football in fear of getting injured and its high-cost medical bills I have to pay? I live in Southern-California, Los Angeles""

What is the best health insurance in california?

i could either choose blue cross hmo or ppo or kaiser hmo..not sure which is best?

Car insurance quote reduction?

My quote for this year was 1200 as I'm a 18 yr old, male student but I was just wondering how much cheaper it should be with a years no claims under my belt as I'm just a month away from it.""

What to do with car insurance? questions on buying a car?

I've been driving close to a decade. I am under my father's insurance. My sister recently is not anymore. Because we have all been under my father insurance, my sister who has more driving experience is consider a new driver. Because of this her rates are very high. But since both of us have a decade more of driving experience surly this can do something about the rates? What happens if you do not have car insurance or it expired recently? Isn't it required? If you get into accident with other driver and you do not have insurance what happens? Is any cheap car insurance better than none? for 27yr old what is the best insurance for you, if you drive the family's car? If you want to buy your own, used car. How do you go about it?""

""Im 33 with no job, whats the best affordable way for me to receive health insurance?""

Im 33 with no job, whats the best affordable way for me to receive health insurance?""

21st Century Car Insurance?

I have a weird question. I'd thought I'd ask you guys first. Here goes: My SUV got broken into. The steering column was damaged. My insurance, 21st century, had a tow truck take it to a shop. It was fixed.......TWO WEEKS LATER! I have full coverage, but my policy doesn't cover rentals. Well anyways my question is: Will my insurance pay for HALF my car payment since it took two weeks for it to get fixed? I know it sounds dumb, but I had to ask. Thanks.""

Why are my insurance quotes coming to 20-40k?

Ok so i know insurance in London will be alot for a student like me who is 17, but why is it my friends are getting insurance for 2k in london and when i enter correct information on quote websites (obvisouly acting as if i am 17) that my quotes are coming to 44k, what should i do when it comes to getting my own policy? thansk""

""I'm 23 and wanting to buy a new car, how much more will I pay in insurance because of my age?

For example: I'm wanting to buy a 25k car. (new civic) I got quoted at $1500 for a 6 month policy full coverage. I have a clean record. How much does my age effect the quote all other things being equal. Will waiting till I'm 24 make a big difference in the quote?

Why is car insurance rediculous when I've never claimed and drive a small car?

I'm in my mid 30s, a female who has never claimed. My car is 1 litre and I don't drive many miles. I thought the companies would want my business but now I might have to give up driving because I can't afford the insurance.""

Cost of getting Insurance under parents car?

Hi im 17, living in Ireland and I want to get insured under my mothers car which is a 2005 skoda octavia with the 1.4 liter engine does anyone know how much it would cost because ive been saving up but not sure I have enough. also I only have a provisional license. thanks""

What is Yearly renewable term insurance ?

My agent said that that the insurance that they offer has a feature of Yearly renewable term insurance? What is it exactly?

Motorcycle insurance?

I want to know what insurance company gives you a better quotel on motorcycle coverage. Allstate sucks I went down on my bike injuring my shoulder only to find out I get just $1000.00 maximum coverage for medical. Somebody help me find a new agent please. As always thanks in advance

Auto insurance for Toyota celica gts 2000?

I am getting my license on my 18th birthday and I am planning on getting a celica. The car will be on my dad name, and he's over 25yrs old. I want to know the rates of auto insurance for a sport car vs me getting a regular 4 doors. I just got a quote today and the guy told me that my insurance could be $116 a month for the celica with progressive please help me make my decision ty""

About how much per month would insurance for a sub shop/pizza place cost an owner?

Doing research in attempt to know how much it will take to get a small sub shop off the ground. A big question is insurance. In this day in age, I would hate to be sued by someone who slips outside and falls. I will be renting the property from a local land owner. The building is 1,000 square feet, small joint. What is a general range of which I might in liability insurance for my business? Located in ohio small town.""

My car under my parents insurance?

Ok i have a hypothetical question...Say if my car is in my name, and i am under my parents insurance...And i get in a major accident are they liable? Are they at more risk if i am in their name but i own the car?

What do the insurance companies(in Maryland) consider a sports car?

I'm looking into getting a 1997-2001 Mitsubishi eclipse or a 1997-2004 Toyota celica. I've talked to different people around here and some say they consider them sports cars and others r saying that they r family cars because they have 4 seats and you can put people in the back. So I'm thinking that cars like Nissan 350z's and corvettes are sports car to them. Pls help me! I don't want to pay the insurance of a sports car. Is there a way I could get around it if they are considered sports cars.

What is the best student accident insurance?

What is the best student accident insurance plan for Kinder level in Pennsylvania?

Car insurance in California - most competitive companies?

I'm considering a move from Pennsylvania to California. My existing insurance provider doesn't write policies in California so I would need to change companies. I'm currently paying 919 per year for 2 cars. I would like to find a company that can be competitive with these rates. I'd love to get any feedback from people that live in california regarding companies they recommend and which to avoid. I would probably be living in the east bay of San Francisco. I hate car insurance companies (except my current one which I love) and would like to avoid being totally ripped off. I have 18 years of accident free miles and no moving violations...

Cheaper car insurence for me?

ok so im 19 in october. and everywhere i look my insurance will be a minimum of 2800 a year if i had a 1.2 corsa. however if i went on my mums 2.0 tdi passat with her max no claims it will be a min of 3000 a year. why is this?? anyone know any loopholes or cheaper sites???

How come insurance is almost double for 2 cars.?

I can't drive 2 cars at once, only one at a time. Therefore, the odds of causing an accident are the same as if I had one car. Why don't insurance actuaries know this?""

How can i get a car by using a cheap car insurance ?

I am in need.

How can I get a car insurance quote if I'm under 18?

I don't have my license yet but a large part of what decides what car I can get depends on what the car insurance would cost. Since I am under 18 not of the car insurance websites will give me a quote and if i lie about my age it will change the cost. Any ideas?

What car insurance company do you use?

My car insurance is 2,200 a year and my parents are looking for something cheap. We have state farm. Any suggestions?""

How much would my mom and dad's car insurance go up if I got my license?

Because there not even gonna let me take the test until I find a job,because there insurance will go up. But by how much. I thought it was cheaper if you were a girl, got good grades and went through drivers ed?""

What's an appointment with a chiropractor cost? and how insurances work?

I just recently got into an car accident while i was 9 months pregnant, the acident wasnt that bad however it did triger some back pain...now the person that hit us insurance is going to cover the cost...but i was tryna do an estimate if i went for treatment for a couple of weeks maybe 6 weeks or so.. does anyone know how insurances work and how much they would try n give me to settle for?""

Who has the best and cheapest auto insurance?

In southern California

Car Insurance?

I'm a first time driver over 25, used car 2001 ford focus, central fl. how much should the insurance cost?""

What is the average insurance cost for a flat bed tow truck?

What is the average insurance cost for a flat bed tow truck?

""Lawsuits have been limited to $250,000 in California for years now - insurance costs haven't gone down...?

...at all. Why do Republicans pretend that is the solution to healthcare costs?

Will the 2010 honda fit be considered as a sports car to insurance companies?

Thinking about getting one of these, but I'm a little worried that insurance cost is gonna be high since it's a hatchback. It is a sedan with 4 doors though, would insurers still see it as a potential car that might be used for racing?""

How can I get car liability insurance without USA drivers' license?

I am a foreign citizen and we would like to buy a car in San Francisco for a cross country trip. The only problem seems to be the car liability coverage insurance, which is obligatory to have when driving. How the others do, who make such trip? Are there insurance companies offering daily rates, or periodical packages with not American drivers' license? Car rental places offer liability insurance for 12.99 per day, so I think of something, like that. Thank you for the responses. Zsolt""

What's the easiest way to get health insurance?

What's the easiest way to get health insurance?

Does being a cyclist affect health insurance rates? How so?

A cyclist might be more at risk to injury in accidents because they're on a bicycle instead of inside a car, but cyclists are probably generally healthier.""

Insurance on a scion?

how much is the insurance on a scion? if im a teen and i took drivers ed with safe way.

Decent and Cheap Health Insurance Plans for International Students in the US?

I will be studying my Master in the Boston area, this September. The grad-school health insurance is a little too expensive to me. What would be some of the decent and affordable health insurance companies and plans?""

Adding someone to ur insurance?

i know ur insurance goes up but do have to pay the difference between the new and old price? or do u just pay the new price whenever it would normally be time to pay ur insurance?

What is the purpose of uninsured motors insurance ?

What is the purpose of uninsured motors insurance ?

Can She Still Get Health Insurance?

My girlfriend and I are moving out to South Dakota in a few months and I was wondering if she would still be covered under her mom's insurance. She is a full-time student and lives with her mother in Wyoming goes to school in Nebraska. She will however be living with me in South Dakota but still a full-time student. Is she still covered under her mothers insurance even though she will not be living under her mother's roof? Thanks!

Do you have to buy auto insurance as a condition of OWNING a car? or DRIVING a car?

If you own an RV and you live in it but you don't drive it.....does the auto insurance mandate apply to you?

Cheap health insurance for college students?

I live in Orlando, FL and i'm a non-smoking college student. Does anyone know of any cheap health insurance or even health discount plans that I could get on just to cover the cost of my Bipolar disorder meds and possibly a couple of visits to the psychiatrist? Yearly physicals and examinations I can handle, but this psychiatrist that I see is $200.00 a visit PLUS the cost of all of the perscriptions he prescribes to me. HELP!""

My car under my parents insurance?

Ok i have a hypothetical question...Say if my car is in my name, and i am under my parents insurance...And i get in a major accident are they liable? Are they at more risk if i am in their name but i own the car?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/collector-car-insurance-teens-rebecca-horn"

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Progressive Insurance Q&a

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[weareallfallengods]

Reposting because I'm a disaster and don't know how to pin posts.

Survival

Inspiration: If you’re over 25 and haven’t done something remarkable, you are hunted down and killed. Some people invent things. Some make cures for diseases. Others become established members of their community. You’re pushing 30, and somehow not dead yet, even though you cant think of a single thing you’ve done thats remarkable in any way. Why aren’t you dead?

I write for adults about adult themes with adult language. I try to tag possible triggers (but I know I'm not going to get all of them), so if violence or implied death or cussing bothers you, you'll probably want to find a different author.

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Somehow, that date came up again. Not quite sure how, but somehow, the number circled on my shitty wall calendar with the coffee splatter on it managed to be today. Again. It's been doing that for 5 years now.

At first I wanted to be a surgeon- save people's lives, make a difference, all that shit. Yeah, I was caught up in the hype for a while too. Just like everyone. Thought I'd make some ground-breaking discovery and change the world. Just like everyone. And then, at 22, I flunked out of med school. That was it. Dream over, kaput, fin.

When I opened my termination letter, it was like reading a death sentence. 10 years of prep and study down the drain. 3 years left. 3 years, and no idea what to do. No clue what I could do to save my own life after all those years learning how to save others.I drank for a solid month. I dont even remember that month now. My only memento from it is an entire skip of liquor bottles. It's a miracle I didn't die from alcohol poisoning. Not that I didn't try.

See, I was afraid. Scared, actually. Terrified would be more accurate, if I'm honest. I knew I only had 3 years left until they came for me. Unless I managed to do something extraordinary within the next 3 years, they'd come for me, and the only thing that would remain is a 2 paragraph obituary in the local paper, followed by a vacancy announcement. When you're suddenly forced to confront your own imminent demise, and see every dream, hope and aspiration you'd had evaporate, right in front of your eyes, its perfectly natural to drown that in a swimming pool of vodka.

But then, after a month of drowning, and a week of curing a hangover that would make Satan shudder, I got angry. Like Bruce Banner angry. As I was leaving an all night diner, the notice board caught my eye. Having nothing better to do with my life, I stood there for a while just reading every single card in detail, every single lost cat, every used car, every 5k charity run. And then I saw it. And I thought, "You know what? Fuck it, why not. I've spent all this time trying to do one thing that I've never actually done just whatever I feel like, had hobbies, anything really. Why the fuck not."

And that's how I ended up 2 days later in some shity warehouse district, rolling around on a mat with some dude I didnt even know, sweating and swearing profusely and having the time of my life. "Sasha's Self Defense" it said on the small, weathered and rusted sign on the brick wall out front, next to a door that looked like it had been transported straight from the proverbial gulag.

I'd naively thought this was going to be one of those Karate Kid knock offs for some reason when I first arrived. Sasha soon disabused me of that notion. In fact, when he saw I'd brought a new gi in a duffle bag, he laughed so hard he had to slap his ass down on a rickety folding chair just to keep breathing. Once he calmed his mirth at my expense, he let me know in a no-nonsense, 'I'm an old-timer and seen some shit in my day' heavily accented tone that this would be a class that focused on survival at all costs. "No bullshit wax on-wax off," were his exact words I believe.

And boy was he right. When I told him I'd set aside my year's tuition for lesson payments, well, wouldn't you know it, I became his most prized pupil; I quickly learned this was not a good thing. It meant 14 hours a day of the most humiliatingly punishing activity ever dreamed up by Moscow's Finest. I couldnt even move the morning after my first day. But somehow I limped my battered frame down to the bus stop and was only an hour late. Ha, only. Sasha seemed to take it as a personal insult. The only thing he hated less than sloppiness was tardiness it seemed. Apparently the 10th Circle of Hell was reserved for those who dared be late. And he made you earn your way out of that circle.

His only saving grace was fairness. If I had to suffer, at least I wasnt alone. Well, at first anyway. The few other students that suffered his wrath along side me doing slavic folk dances with wrist and ankle weights very quickly learned that this wasn't the type of class they had thought it was and soon I was alone with Sasha.

On the days I did well, I got treated to pierogies. Oh man, I lived for those pierogies. They were made by angels and served by someone I can only describe as if Jesus came back as a woman. Who was Russian. And spoke even less english than Sasha, if that was possible. His sister was as completely opposite to that sadistic maniac as it was possible to be and still be a human being. Where he was loud, she was soft. Where he was tough, she was gentle. Where he was strict, she was generous, even indulgent. Blonde to his brunette. Slim to his barrel chest. Cousin by marriage, I think they said. Well, relatives of some kind anyway. And she was the only one who could make him laugh. And when he laughed, the whole block knew! He was just that loud, that boisterous, with everything he did.

But I loved his little Anya. Just like everyone. But like in a wholesome, mom-ish kind of way. I loved her because I got to sit for an hour when she was around. Because she"d always tuck a to-go container of pierogies into my bag. Because she'd chide Sasha for pushing me too hard. In short, she was an angel.

But I have to hand it Sasha- in 4 months, he took a scrawny bookworm into someone who could pose for Men's Health. In 6 months, I could beat Ivan, his partner, in 5/10 sparring matches. In 7 months, I ran a marathon. In 9, he had me enter a triathalon. And I made it into the top 50 out of 500 entrants. Not too bad if I say so myself. In 12 months, I was beating Ivan almost every time.

And that's when the other Ivan showed up. After a year, Sasha decided it was time I learned weaponry. After all, no real fight was fair, he said. And Ivan (another cousin? Sasha had one heck of an extended family) instructed me on everything from broken beer bottles, to knives and pool cues. And my medical training paid off, because more often than not, I was the one stitching myself up if training got a little rough that day.

Eventually, I moved into the gym. Not sure how it happened, but I think I just got too tired to leave one day and never really left. Sasha didnt seem to mind since it meant I wasnt ever late again. Plus the coffee he imported was the best thing ever. Like it was so good that's probably the Extraordinary Thing he did to live as long as he had.

The days just melted together, into one long symphony of beautiful exhaustion and physical torment, as I poured myself into the first activity I could remember doing purely because I wanted to, something that numbed the dread of the finality of my life expectancy.

But then one day, one specific day, the one I'd been dreading in the back of my mind for a year came around.

They found me.

I guess they were a little slow in finding me, not surprising since I'd basically just disappeared from my old life, no forwarding address type thing. It wasnt intentional, it just sort of happened, what with me diving head first into something purely for me, without the thought of doing it for someone else. But they found me. Just like they find everybody.

See, it doesnt matter if you try to run, if you move, or change your name. They always find you eventually. I just hadn't thought about it in a long while. That year was the first time since I was probably 14 that I'm hadn't thought about the Gardeners. I guess that's why it surprised me so much.

Yeah, Gardeners. I dont know who came up with the name, in guess some misguided attempt at a positive PR spin bullshit to pass off squads of government assassins who's only job was to track down the NCs of the world and eliminate them. Sorry, NCs- Non-Contributors; the people who hit their expiration date without doing something noteworthy, something that was deemed to "advance or bolster the Human Condition" to borrow a phrase from the civics classes we had to take every fucking year of school. A cutesy sounding name that was supposed to make the government sound like a benevolent old couple pulling weeds from their garden of humanity. The worst lies always sound the sweetest, dont they?

And I was now 25.

It happened a few weeks after my birthday. Just another routine day for me, going for a light 5k run after my soak in a mineral bath. Light rain, most of the streetlights out, the few lights on in the warehouse district reflected beautifully off the streets. That's why I ran at night, all the colors changed that normally bleak neighborhood into something beautiful. It was just one little thing to balance out the harshness of reality, and I reveled in it.

I don't actually remember what happened exactly. I do recall seeing a suspiciously conspicuous homeless guy huddled under a loading dock awning, and then just a flash of movement from the corner of my eye. I think it happened really quickly; at least that's what Sasha said the next morning as he was making arrangements for me to visit another cousin of his "back in the old country". It could have been. God, after seeing the bodies around me in the aftermath, I hope, for their sake, that it was fast. 5 bodies. All still. I still remember my breath turning to blue fog, blurring the details of them. Helping me to be able to pretend I didn't see the blood mixing with the rain and oil, spreading out over the concrete like a macabre inversion of the cloudy sky above.

I'm glad they wore masks. It's bad enough having that scene burned into my brain forever, without specific people's faces being etched there as well. I'm glad I dont see their faces in my mind every time I close my eyes. I just wish I could still enjoy the rain. They managed to take that from me, even if I'm still breathing, so I guess they didnt completely fail. They just killed a part of my soul instead. But hey, there's plenty of people that don't like the rain, right? But I bet they don't smell blood when it does though.

And that was pretty much it. No sirens, no manhunt, nothing. Before I could process what was happening, I was on a bus, headed for "the old country", which, as near as I could tell, looked an awful lot like Pittsburg. Sasha's 'cousin' met me at the bus depot there, a man of very few words. Not as loud as his cousin, Zhena tended to communicate with looks, grunts and shrugs mostly. Same work ethic though.

And then the cycle repeated- 14 months this time before they caught up with me. Too bad that Zhena got caught up in it, he was a great guy. He and I didn't really become close or buddies or anything, but it still hurt to see what happened to him. To what was left of him anyway. The Gardeners definitely were trying to send a message with that. To quote an old wise man, "I didnt want to know, but now I do, and I'm telling you, you dont want to know." And that's coming from someone who was training to become a surgeon, so just trust me on this one.

This time, they were waiting for me. I think they'd planned on Zhena being enough of a distraction that they'd be able to take me out easily, but since since I woke up the next day on the floor of the sparring ring in a too large pool of blood that wasnt my own, I'd say they failed. The difference this time was I was on my own. No 'cousins' to call in favors from. No family I could call because I didnt want them getting a visit from the Gardeners either. I was alone this time.

Weirdly, I was actually OK with that. I'd been surrounded by family, teachers, advisors, tutors for so long that solitude was actually kind of nice. I could hear myself think my own thoughts for the first time in what seemed like forever.

I'm not ashamed to say that I took what little of value there was from Zhena's gym (I knew him well enough to know that Sasha was his only family) so that I could get a seedy hotel for a while. I did at least have the decency to let Sasha know, and that that would be the last he ever heard from me, to keep him out of trouble. Bad enough that 10 people were already dead, I didn't want Sasha or Anya's name added to that list because of me.

And so I vanished. Completely. Sure I travelled, kept studying and training like I had been, but never staying longer than a few months, never using the same name, copying other random people's habits and patterns so I didnt have one of my own for them to track down. Yeah it was cliche, but hey, I figured my dad watching all those spy flicks when I was young had to be good for something, right?

Sometimes I was a baker, sometimes a delivery driver, even a dock hand. Whatever it took to make a buck so I could eat.

I got really good at other things too. Like disposing of bodies. Not really a skill I ever thought I'd want or need, but Necessity is a harsh and demanding teacher. Sadly, my skill as a surgeon came in handy- bodies are easier to get rid of when they're in smaller pieces. And people are easier to turn into bodies when you know how they're put together intimately. Not what I had in mind for my life, but since it was the choice between this or dying, well, I guess I can put up with it.

I suppose that catches us all up to the present, more or less. OK yeah theres a lot that's gone down between Pittsburg and now, but it was all pretty much the same: lather, rinse, repeat. Literally sometimes. Those were the days it felt like there wasnt enough soap in the world to get all the blood off.

So here I am, I'm my single room in Kandahar, staring at the date that had somehow come up again. Every year, they send someone. Usually a team. And I survive. No matter how they come at me, or when or how many. I survive.

And I'm sitting here, staring at the calendar, steaming cup of espresso, just staring, as a light breeze fluttered the corner of the calendar page, sending the orchids dancing in the vase next to it. All I could think is, "How? How does this keep happening? I'm not even supposed to be here, not supposed to be alive."

As I raised my cup of espresso, something slid under my door. "OK that's weird," I said aloud as I stood.

The chair made an ungodly screech as I pushed it back and made my way over to where a small, cream colored envelope sat on the floor, a couple inches from the bottom of the door. It was heavy for it's size, but not because anything was in it, just the paper was that thick. Probably hand-made. It's odd the little things you notice in times of stress. Heavy, rough paper, no postmark, nothing written on the outside, just the flap tucked in, not even sealed. Reminded me of how my mother used to give out birthday cards. I always thought that was a little weird, but it was just one of her quirks that made her even more endearing to everyone.

I sat down a little heavier than I had planned and felt the chair crack a little. There was a single sheet of paper inside, folded in half; I was right- handmade paper. But that wasnt important, what was important was the heavy, blocky hand-written message it contained.

"We've been looking for you for a long time. It has come to my attention that you may have something unique to contribute after all. We may have been too hasty in judging your Ability to be a Contributor. I believe you do actually have a remarkable Ability to Survive. I'd like to speak to you this afternoon in the plaza outside the Blue Mosque. I will be alone, and you can approach me, so as to allay your justifiable suspicions. I will have a silver coffee set on the table in front of me.

I believe we can help each other, if you're willing to listen to my proposition.

-Soon,

Baddar"

Well, this is interesting.