#and my kiddo is trying SO HARD to be her friend again and she was just like. no.

[bakedbakermom]

sometimes being a parent means having beef with a 6 year old. i don't make the rules but i will throw down DELANEY.

[justagalwhowrites]

Yearling - Ch. 30: Blood

Joel and Tommy run into trouble on patrol. A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-29 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Canon-typical violence. Plot points from TLOU2. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only 

Length: 7.5k

A/N: Hi y’all, I’m stashing this whole chapter below a jump because it’s been brought to my attention that the major event of this chapter is less common knowledge and more of a spoiler than I really realized it was. There is a major plot point for TLOU2 below. I’m sorry I didn’t tag the whole fic that way (going back to update that now) and I apologize if this spoiled things for people who were trying to go in blind. This is the first chapter with any big overlap and if you want to bow out now, I totally understand. My DMs are open if you want to know more without full spoilers and if there’s a way to keep reading without knowing the plot of TLOU2.

AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

“Dina kissed me.” 

“What!” You yelped and Ellie’s eyes went wide before she clamped a hand over your mouth. 

“Shhhh!” She looked around, her breath rising in front of her. But the only people out right now were inside the stable, a good 50 feet behind you and far enough away that you doubted any of them heard you, even if you were loud. “Jesus, Bambi…” 

She released your mouth and you tried not to giggle. 

“Sorry,” you whispered. “Good for you, kiddo! Told you not to count the girl out because she also fucks men…” 

“There’s no way she meant it,” Ellie rolled her eyes. “Get real.” 

“Why not?” You asked, brows raised. “Why shouldn’t she mean it?” 

“Because she’s Dina,” Ellie said, as though that explained everything. You just looked at her and she rolled her eyes again. “She was just trying to stir shit up because her and Jesse split up…” 

“Uh huh.” 

“And I was convenient,” she finished. “That’s it, that’s all it was…” 

“And you know this because you asked her, I’m sure.” 

“Fuck off,” she snapped. “Look, I didn’t drag you out here to figure that shit out…” 

“You sure about that?” 

“I dragged you out here,” she said, ignoring you, “to try and figure out what the fuck I’m supposed to do now.” 

“Kiss her again,” you shrugged. “That’s what I’d do…” 

“I’m being serious!” She hissed at you. “I have to go on patrol with her in like half an hour, what the fuck am I supposed to do?” 

You sighed and smiled a little, putting your hands in the pockets of the coat Joel had given back to you that morning. He said he hadn’t been wearing it but it had to have been hanging close enough to things he did wear and it smelled a bit like him. 

“First, you need to calm down,” you said gently. She looked like she was going to snap at you but you silenced her with a look. “I know it’s hard but regardless of how you want this to turn out, try not to be in your own head about it, OK? She’s still your friend and I’m guessing you want her to stay your friend, right?” 

“Duh.” 

“So eloquent,” you said and she rolled her eyes. “Look, you have two options. You can pretend it never happened and see if she brings it up or you can be up front about it and ask her.” 

“Is there a way to bring it up without looking like a desperate fucking loser?” She asked, brows raised. 

You shrugged. 

“Tough line to walk but I think you’ve got it in you.” 

“Jesus…” 

“Ellie,” you took her shoulders and made her actually face you. “It will be OK. Might be awkward for a bit but it’s not the end of the world. I promise. You can talk to her. She’s your friend for a reason and it’s because you’re kind and you’re smart and you’re funny. Even without the help of Will Livingston. None of that shit changes just because you kissed. Alright?” 

“Yeah,” she said, dropping her head to your shoulder with a heavy sigh. You put your arms around her and gave her a little squeeze but when she pulled back from you, her eyes were narrowed. “You’re in a weirdly good mood.” 

You frowned. 

“No I’m not.” 

“Uh yeah, you are,” she said, stepping back and looking you up and down as though she she were inspecting you. You just raised your eyebrows at her, expectant, when her mouth dropped open for a moment before she shifting to a shit eating grin. 

“Ellie…” 

“You fucked Joel!” 

“We need to have another conversation about the fact that what happens between my legs is none of your business,” you muttered, turning her around to head back toward the stable. 

“No we don’t,” she said. “This is great, you two have been so depressing the last few months…” 

“We have not!” 

“Please,” she rolled her eyes. “You were basically dead for weeks and Joel barely left the house for who knows how long.” 

“That… was less recent,” you said. “And it’s not your job to worry about us so let’s just…” you stopped just short of the stable doors. “How did you know?” 

“Know what?” 

“About…” you lowered your voice. “Joel. Not that I’m admitting to anything.” 

She smirked. 

“That coat’s been hanging in his front closet since you left.” You looked down at yourself and groaned. Her cocky smile grew. “You wanted the coat again. Bingo.” 

“Well just… keep it to yourself, alright?” You said, heading for the door. “I have no idea how to handle this with Savvy yet so cool it for bit. Please.” 

“I can keep my mouth shut you know,” she said as you opened the door to the stable and she went in. She opened her mouth to keep talking but Dina came up to her, smiling, and she froze instead. 

“Hey Ellie,” she smiled a little bigger before looking at you. “Bambi, good to see you.” 

“You too,” you said, clapping Ellie on the shoulder. “Have fun out there.” 

She glared at you over Dina’s shoulder and you just shrugged and winked at her before taking care of the final things you needed to before getting everyone out the door on patrol. 

You seriously considered, for a moment, taking Joel’s hand and just dragging him back home when he told you that you’d be going out separately. Things with him were so raw and delicate and new again. Neglecting it for two days felt dangerous somehow, a tension setting into your limbs before you and Julie headed out. 

You were always last to leave the stables, always waiting until you knew the rest of the patrol was situated even though you knew Olivia could handle things just fine without you. She smiled - a vaguely amused look on her face - as you went back over everything for the third time. 

“I promise, it’s all good,” she said eventually. “Please go focus on killing infected and staying safe and leave managing the horses to me.” 

On the way out of town, you stopped by where the working dogs were kept and asked if you could bring Gatling along, Julie looking a little skeptical as the dog jumped on Renaissance and settled between your legs, her head draped over your bicep. 

“Used to ride like this with her all the time,” you said, kissing the top of the dog’s head. Gatling licked her lips once and curved her body into yours as you sat back in the saddle to make sure she had room. “I’ll let her down once we’re good and underway, she’ll keep up. She’s great at spotting infected and I’m guessing she could be a great patrol dog once we get her adjusted to working with more than just me…” 

“She definitely looks like she can hold her own,” Julie said, watching as Gatling started scanning the horizon, her ears perked and listening, ready to jump off your horse and run down any apparent threat. “What kind of dog is she, anyway?” 

“She’s a Belgian Malinois,” you said, giving her a scratch behind the ears. “They were police and military dogs before. She saved my ass from infected more than once and she kept my girl alive when I couldn’t…” You kissed her head again and she turned to lick your cheek before going back to watching for threats. “She’s a good girl.” 

“Good to know I’ve got someone out here who can really watch my back,” Julie teased lightly. “Not sure I trust you to do it…” 

“Why not?” You asked, gaping at her. “I’m a great shot, keep you alive no problem…” 

“You forget I saw you trying to show Ellie and Savvy how to shoot a basketball that one time,” she smiled a cocky smile. “You barely hit the backboard…” 

“OK shooting a basketball is a completely different animal,” you waved her off. “Where it counts, my aim is solid. Saved Tommy once.” 

“Bullshit.” 

“It’s true,” you said, nudging Renaissance a little faster. “Ask Joel…” 

“Joel, hm?” She brought her horse alongside yours. “Things happening there?” 

You tried to hide your smile but felt the edges of your mouth curve up, anyway. 

“Good for you!” Julie said. “Both because you’re my friend and I want you to be happy but also because I like being right and goddammit, if I’m going to get shot down for a man of all people at least it’s a man I was right about.” 

You laughed a little before you remembered you had things weren’t just magically fixed with Joel yet.

“Do me a favor and don’t mention it to anyone?” You said, looking down at Gatling. “I need to tell Savvy…” 

The dog looked up to you at the mention of her name and you gave her a small scratch. 

“Oh, right,” Julie winced a bit. “Yeah, that might be rough.” 

“Yeah,” you sighed heavily. “I need to figure out a way to do this without losing both of them. I can’t do that again, I just… I can’t.” 

“You’ll figure it out,” she said gently. “It will be OK. Just have to believe it, it’ll happen.” 

“I’ll do my best,” you smiled a little at her. “How’s shit with Karen, by the way?” 

“Oh God,” she laughed. “I’m not sure how much I should tell you…” 

The patrol was easy enough until the snow started flying. It was still, the two of you talking, Gatling sometimes running ahead and acting more like a puppy than you remembered her being before, making you smile. It felt like if she could be like this - young and free and more than what survival had made her - so could Savvy. She would get there someday. You could get her back and make her understand once she was ready. 

Once the snow picked up, you and Julie decided to hunker down instead of pressing on to what was meant to be your final spot for the day. Though you were pretty sure you were only an hour or so shy of it if the weather weren’t working against you. 

“OK this is bullshit is what this is,” Julie said as she stomped snow off her boots and shook it out of her hair. You laughed a little as you got a fire going in the fireplace of the old house you’d reached for the night. It was just at the edge of a small subdivision, a spot you’d ridden past before but never spent much time in. The two of you had gotten the horses settled in the garage and Julie had done a quick walk around the immediate area to make sure there were no threats before coming in to settle for the night. “White, fluffy bullshit.” 

“Not getting you in the holiday spirit?” You teased. “Thanksgiving is coming up, Christmas right after that…” 

“Yeah, I’m already counting down until spring,” she said, shucking her coat and joining you by the fire. “I can only live with this for so long.” 

“I kinda like it,” you said as the fire caught the larger log and you watched it start to go up. “I like that seasons actually change here. It definitely made it easier to mark the passage of time when I didn’t have a calendar.” 

“Well I guess when you put it that way,” she sighed dramatically and you laughed. “But now that you’re in Jackson, we’ll keep you straight on the passage of time. The snow can go.” 

Julie had brought a bottle of whiskey from the Bison - “A perk of the job,” she said - and you were reminded of sleepovers when you were in high school when you and your friends would swipe booze from your parents’ liquor cabinets and get drunk around a bonfire. 

“I feel like we’re going to regret this in the morning,” you said, snug in your sleeping bag on the floor as the fire dimmed, head fuzzy and limbs tingling from the alcohol. Gatling’s head rested on your stomach.

“We can just sleep in a bit,” she scoffed and you heard her adjust on the couch. “What are they gonna do, fire us from patrol for running late? Doubt it.”

You laughed a little. 

“Guess there’s not much to contend with out there right now, anyway,” you said, closing your eyes. “Been quiet as hell all day. Doubt it’ll change overnight.” 

“It’d better not,” she said, sounding sleepy. “Better not be more snow, either.” 

You laughed once. 

“Better snow than infected,” you said. “Or raiders.” 

She didn’t respond and the room was quiet for a moment before you heard a soft snore coming from the couch. 

You laughed and then sighed, pulling a hand from the sleeping bag to scratch Gatling behind the ears. She sighed and curled up tighter to you. 

“It’s gonna be different when we go back,” you whispered to her, absently stroking one of her soft ears. “You can still come home with me, though. Maybe sleep with Savvy instead for a bit. I’m sure you miss her.” 

You tried to think about how to tell Savvy about Joel. It would have been a hard conversation under any circumstance, you thought. Not one you’d ever thought you’d need to have when you’d started caring for her. The idea of being with anyone long term then had been so foreign it hadn’t even crossed your mind. After Marisa, you’d given up on that. Just the occasional lover when there was a woman around who was interested as she was passing through had been enough. 

But Jackson was different. Joel was different. You had safety and security in Jackson and you loved Joel in a way you’d never thought you’d find, especially not after spending so long alone. But how could you tell Savvy something that you knew would hurt her? How could you tell her anything at all when she hadn’t spoken to you in weeks? 

“She’s gonna come around, right?” You whispered to Gatling. You felt her lick her lips and sigh against you. You closed your eyes but left your hand on the dog. “I’ll get her to trust me again. I will.” 

When the pounding on the front door woke you up, you were barely even aware you’d been asleep. But it was daylight outside and Gatling was standing near the front door, crouched low and snarling. 

“Wha…” Julie lifted her head, a groggy look on her face. 

“I got it,” you said, head spinning as you shoved your way out of your sleeping bag. “You stay put.”

“Thank fuck,” she groaned, dropping her head back on the couch and draping her arm over her eyes. You laughed and shook your head, going for the door. 

“Gatling.” The dog looked up at you, ready to obey. “Heel.” 

She fell back from the door and went to your leg, still tight against you, as you opened the door. 

“Glad I found you,” Gene, Jesse’s patrol partner said, pushing past you into the house without waiting for an invitation. “It’s a mess out there…” 

“That’s why we stopped here for the night,” you said, leaving the door open and nodding to Gatling, who immediately ran outside to pee. You waited by the door and let her back in, the dog sticking to your side again. 

“We can’t be that late getting out of here,” Julie grumbled, sitting up and pinching the bridge of her nose. “Not that it’s not just a blast to see you, Gene…” 

“We’re missin’ people,” he said, more to you than Julie. 

“What?” You frowned, crossing your arms over your chest, the after effects of the alcohol suddenly fading fast. “What do you mean we’re missing people, who are we missing?” 

“Joel and Tommy,” he said. “They never made it where they were supposed to last night and we can’t find ‘em….” 

“They probably stopped for the night like we did,” Julie waved him off. “Did you not see the weather last night? It was a shit show…” 

“Probably,” Gene nodded. “But they’d have made it there by now and we didn’t see them comin’ back down, either. No sign of ‘em. Ellie and Dina weren’t where they were supposed to be, either, but we at least found a fuckin’ trail for them, sent Jesse on to get them back in one piece…” 

You were already moving to put your boots on, heart pounding, Gatling giving you a small whine. You put a handful of jerky on the ground for her and refilled her water dish before you started packing up your sleeping bag. 

“I’m sure they’re fine…” Julie said, actually sitting up in the sleeping bag now, her legs pulled into her chest and watching you closely. 

“We should split up,” you said, pulling on your coat. “Cover more ground…”  

“Don’t know if that’s smart…” Gene began but you cut him off. 

“I can handle myself,” you said, harsher than you’d really meant to. “I’ve got Gatling, I’ve got my guns, I’ve got my axe. That’s all I had for 20 damn years and I made it just fine then. If you’re worried, you and Julie can stick together but I’m not gonna sit here and talk about how to minimize risk when they’re out there dealing with who knows what…” 

“Bambi,” Julie said gently, getting off the couch and taking you by the shoulders. “It’s OK.” 

“No,” you shook your head. “It’ll be OK when I find him in one piece, then it’ll be OK, I’m not…” 

“Gene and I will go one way,” she cut you off. “You and Gatling go the other. We’ll cover more ground. OK?” 

Gene sighed, looking between the two of you. 

“You got a death wish, don’t make me stop you,” he said gruffly. “Gonna go get my horse some water, we can head out.” 

You watched him go, a nervous energy coursing through your body. 

“Hey,” Julie said, taking your face carefully in her hands and making you look at her. “It is OK. It’s Joel and Tommy. They’re very, very good at this. They’re OK.” 

There was a pinch of tears at the back of your throat that you had to fight to swallow past. She took your hands, giving them a squeeze. 

“I can’t lose him now,” your voice was thick. “I just got him back, I can’t…” 

“I know,” she said softly, a sad smile on her face and you were struck, for a moment, by just how pretty she was. She pressed a soft kiss to your cheek, her lips lingering on your skin for a second, before she pulled back. “We’ll find him. We will.” 

“Thank you,” you nodded and took a deep breath, one tear slipping free, before looking down at your dog who was watching, ready and waiting. 

“Gatling, heel.” 

She moved to be immediately with you and you went to the garage, quickly saddling your horse and mounting up. You called Gatling up and she settled at the front of your saddle, already watching for incoming threats with her ears perked as you set off. 

You pushed Renaissance harder than you should have through the deep snow, trying to reach some part of Joel and Tommy’s patrol path so you could find some sense of where they might have gone. 

It wasn’t long before you found the path cut by a group of infected. A large one, judging by the footprints in the snow. You didn’t see a sign of Joel or Tommy but the swath of disturbed snow and brush from the hoard as so thorough you doubted you’d be able to tell if two horses had come that way, too. And, knowing Tommy and Joel, they’d have tracked the infected…

You looked higher for a moment, above where people would disturb branches and realized some branches on trees were clean of snow - too high for a person to bump on their own but just the height a tall man on horseback would hit. 

“Goddammit,” you muttered, steering Renaissance in that direction and pushing her on. 

The horse was breathing hard and heavy when you reached a mansion outside the normal patrol area, fully gated with piles of dead infected outside. You looked through your binoculars and saw tracks from the horses leading inside. But something about it set you on edge. Something wasn’t right. 

You commanded Gatling down and tied Renaissance to a tree that provided at least some shelter. 

“Back soon,” you said quietly, giving her a scratch and offering her an apple from your pack. You made sure your weapons were loaded, rifle at the ready, handgun and knife at your hip, axe across your back. Gatling looked at you, licking her lips once, waiting for a command. 

“Gatling, heel,” you said. “Hunt.” 

She latched onto your side like glue, crouched lower and keeping her mouth closed and you moved as quickly as you could for the gates of the mansion. 

There was no one guarding the place that you could see but you closed the gate behind you. If that had been enough to keep infected out before, you weren’t about to argue with it now. There were signs of plenty of people here, footprints of various sizes all heading for shelter inside. You tried not to think about the fact that you might have to torture information out of someone who left those footprints. If they had taken Joel and Tommy’s horses, you’d have to work quick to find what they knew so you could get to them. Torture could be the best option and, if it meant saving their lives, it was a price you were happy to pay. Because they had to still be alive, they had to be. 

The mansion was dark and almost eerily still. It reminded you of some of the places you’d visited when dropping of horses you’d trained to be trail animals for rich assholes before the outbreak, the trappings of extreme wealth couched in some idyllic, fictional version of the wild west. People who in places like this couldn’t handle the real thing. Real wildness would chew them up and spit them out. 

You crept through the house, looking for some sign of people, too afraid to call for Joel and Tommy and potentially bring down who knows how many people on you when you heard it, an agonized cry in a voice you knew, one you knew better than almost anyone else. 

“Joel,” you breathed, and you were running, Gatling at your heels. 

You knew that you should stop, assess, try to form a plan but he screamed again and you plowed ahead. A plan didn’t matter, all that mattered was one thing: getting to Joel. 

You had to get to him. 

He had to be OK. 

He had to be. 

*** 

Joel knew what it was like to die. 

He’d come close enough enough times over the years. Even before the apocalypse began he had a few near shaves. A fall off a ladder at a job site and the thought of “this is it” as he crashed down, the contemplation of what would happen with his daughter if he was gone, if he’d done enough to make it that she would be OK. A car accident that knocked him out and disoriented him enough that, for a moment in the hospital, he thought he was dead. 

The times since had been different, more acute. For a while, it felt like dying would have been a mercy. There was some innate biology that kept his body pushing to survive when his mind saw death as a welcome outcome when he got stabbed or shot when he was taking what he needed to survive or getting the shit kicked out of him when he got overrun smuggling. 

This, though, was something else. He didn’t want to die anymore, not really. He had you and Ellie and even Savvy. He had a reason to live now - live, not just survive - and he wanted it, wanted that life that was hanging there, so tantalizingly close on the horizon as heat of his blood pooled around him. 

He still wasn’t entirely sure what happened, how he’d ended up here like this. He’d reached the girl he’d seen through the binoculars as she damn near got bit, he’d shot the infected and pulled her up just as its teeth were getting close to her neck. 

“We gotta move!” Tommy yelled, shooting another infected. 

Joel gave the girl a once over as quick as he could. 

“You bit?” He asked. She was panting for breath but shook her head. “Got a gun?” She nodded. “Good, let’s go.” 

He tucked her behind him and led the way, trying to find a way through and out. There were dozens of infected, riled up and searching for something to sink their teeth into, desperate for someone to turn. 

“Shouldn’t be this damn many!” Tommy yelled as they scrambled back toward the horses. “Why are there this damn many?” 

“Worry about that later!” Joel snapped, dragging the girl along behind him. She stopped and shot two that were getting too close for comfort and, even in that moment, Joel could appreciate that she was a good shot. “We have to get the fuck away from here, try and lose ‘em…” 

“Think we can get all the way back to town?” Tommy asked, reloading his gun. 

“Hell no,” Joel shook his head. “Need to find somewhere else to hole up…” 

“My friends,” the girl said, looking between the two of them. “We’ve been staying at a mansion, not far from here. It’s got a fence around it, we’ve got the perimeter secure, if we can get there we’ll have help…” 

Joel and Tommy looked at each other. It was unlikely a girl this young would be running with raiders, more likely a group just passing through as they headed for the coast from a QZ. Tommy shrugged and Joel looked back to her. 

“Right,” he said. “We’ll head there, we got horses outside, you can ride with me and just tell us where to go. I’m Joel, that’s my brother Tommy, we’re from a settlement a few hours from here…” 

“Joel,” she said, something shifting in her eyes when she said it. 

“Right,” Joel said, not paying much attention. That seemed stupid, now. But he’d been so worried about Ellie, about you, about getting out of there to make sure you both were OK. “What’s your name, kiddo?” 

“Abby,” she said, an odd twinge in her voice. “My… I’m Abby.” 

They made it to the horses by the skin of their damn teeth, infected at their heels the whole way. 

The kid was right, at least. The mansion was secure, her friends clearing the area with molotov cocktails, infected burning just outside the gates. 

“Jesus Christ that was close,” Tommy laughed, clapping Joel on the shoulder. “Fuck, ain’t come that close in a while…” 

“Couldn’t get a good look at ‘em,” Joel said, looking back at the burning bodies. “See any bullet holes? Any sign they might have run into the girls?” 

Tommy’s giddy smile over surviving faded and he gave Joel’s shoulder a squeeze. 

“I’m sure they’re alright, Joel,” he said. “Shit, Bambi’s a deadeye. And you taught Ellie everything you know. They probably didn’t even come across these fuckers and if they did, they’re fine. They’re fine, both have made it through worse than a few infected…” 

“We should get inside,” Abby said, looking more at one of her friends than at Joel. “Now.” 

Things seemed normal then. Tommy was trying to get the group to come back to Jackson, Joel was worrying about you and Ellie. 

And then they introduced themselves to the group and it shifted. Just like it had with Abby, the change sudden and sharp. 

“Y’all act like you’ve heard of us or somethin’,” Joel said, thinking it was a joke. His mind was still elsewhere, still on you, still on Ellie, still on making sure you both were OK. He wanted to be back in Jackson, back in his quiet house, back in bed with you, pillows actually brought up from the living room and you close enough that he could trace little patterns over your soft skin. 

“Because they have.” 

He didn’t even see the shot coming, didn’t have a chance to warn Tommy to run, his brother on the ground - unconscious? Dead? He wasn’t sure - before he could even think. Joel screamed as the bullet tore through his leg and he went down, straining to get to Tommy through the pain but they swarmed him, these kids his brother had just been trying to talk into coming back to Jackson. They held him down, his back to a wall as Abby knelt in front of him, her face twisted into a snarl. She looked so different than she had when he’d first spotted her, alone and afraid and cornered the way he was now. 

“Joel Miller,” her teeth were gritted, the rifle tight in her grip. 

“Who are you?” He managed, pulling against the people at his arms, people who looked like kids, fucking kids. 

“Guess.” 

“Look,” he grunted and gave his arms a yank but they thrust him back against the glass. “Don’t know what I did to ya but I know I didn’t do it on purpose. Done a lot of shit in my time but I don’t hurt kids and you’re a bunch of kids…” 

“You kill my dad on purpose?” She pressed the barrel of the gun to his chin. “You slaughter a whole hospital of people who were just trying to save humanity on purpose?”

Joel’s stomach dropped. Of course. Of course saving Ellie would come back for him. Of course now that he finally had a life that was worth living it was getting ripped away for the one thing he couldn’t regret. 

“I did what I had to do,” he said, trying to free himself again, even though he knew it was futile. “But it was just me. Do what you need to do, make whatever speech you got saved up, but leave my brother out of it.” 

She squared her jaw, a look of disgust on her face as she got to her feet. She shoved her gun into the hands of the man - barely a man, almost still a boy, Joel thought - beside her. 

“Tourniquet his leg,” she snapped. The others looked around, hesitating. “Do it!” 

She stalked off as another girl obeyed, Joel trying not to scream through the pain as she tightened the belt around his leg. His head was still spinning when she came back into view, a golf club in her hands. 

“You don’t get to ask me for a damn thing,” she looked at him with so much rage, so much hate that, for a moment, he pitied her. That someone so young was so angry and in so much pain, that her father had cast his lot in with a bunch of child killers and paid with his life, leaving her alone, was tragic. “And you don’t get to rush this.” 

She jerked her head toward the people holding him in place and they looked at each other for a moment before stepping back. He tried to move but his leg was fucking useless and Abby swung the club, catching him in the arm before she forced him all the way to the floor with a pained cry. 

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been here now. Consciousness was hazy. So was the feeling in his limbs. At times, it was like he was floating, far outside his body and somewhere far softer and warmer and kinder than here. Part of him was back in his living room, almost a year ago now, on Christmas Eve when it was just you and him and he buried himself inside the hot clutch of your body by the glow of the holiday lights. He was lost in the feel of you, so soft and warm below him. He wasn’t sure he’d ever felt closer to another person in his life, lacing his fingers with yours and looking into your eyes as you came. He’d promised to take care of you then and he’d meant it, he’d meant it so far beyond that moment inside of you, he’d meant it for the rest of his life he’d take care of you. 

He just hadn’t thought it would be so soon. 

At least, he thought, he’d made things right with you. At least he’d gotten to tell you that he loved you again, at least he wasn’t dying wondering if you could ever have forgiven him. At least things were right with Ellie, at least she’d loved him again and she’d let him love her the way she deserved to be loved. At least she had you and Savvy now, people who would love her that way, too, and make sure she was OK. She was going to need someone to make sure she was OK when he was gone, she was so stubborn and she tried to be so much stronger than she needed to be. She needed someone. So did you. 

At least he’d get to be with Sarah again. She was so much closer now than she’d been before, barely out of reach now, somewhere quiet and safe and peaceful. Just far enough away that what was happening now couldn’t reach her. At least she wasn’t seeing this. At least you and Ellie weren’t seeing this.

Something shifted in the room, the club not landing on Joel’s body again, chaos drawing him back into his body again. 

Everything hurt, like he’d been put through a meat grinder. He wasn’t sure he’d ever hurt this much, at least not physically. Every breath was pain. He’d been lying here long enough that some of the blood pooling around his legs had gone cold. 

There was a vicious snarl, the crack of a gunshot and he realized, suddenly, what happened. 

“Gatling!” He could barely adjust his head enough to see where you were. Your rifle was on the ground but so was the only other gun Joel remembered seeing in the room. Your axe was tight in your hands as you threw one of the men back with a roar. You kicked the guns at your feet behind you and pointed to Joel and snapped your fingers. “Guard!” 

The dog ran to him and crouched around his body, hunched low, snarling and barking. You screamed and Joel struggled to see what was happening, tried to get up but he was only able to make it a few inches off the ground before he collapsed back down, his body too broken to properly obey. You were so close, you were in trouble and he tried to focus on it. He had to get you out of here, he had to take care of you, he’d promised to take care of you. He was supposed to protect you, that’s what he was built to do and he was failing. 

“Gatling, bite!” Your command was more of a shriek, sharp and fearful.

The dog shot away from him for a moment, a snarl followed by a pained wail and Joel could see enough to make out that the animal had tackled someone near you as you scrambled to your feet, more of them coming for you. Joel tried again to move but his injured leg gave out that time, collapsing below him before he could put even half his weight on it. 

“Gatling, release!” The screaming stopped and he heard another snap. “Guard!” 

The dog went back to him, snarling and snapping and 

“Bambi!” 

Joel turned his head too quick to the door, his neck screaming in pain, to see Ellie standing there, her eyes wide.

“Ellie!” He yelled through gritted teeth. 

“Go!” You screamed at her, bringing your axe around, swinging wide on another person coming for you, just catching their arm. “Get help, get Jesse! Go!” 

You circled toward the door, axe up, daring any of them to try to follow her. 

“You’re not a part of this!” Abby prowled toward you. “Don’t make me kill you, too.” 

“He’s a part of this so I am, too,” you panted. “If you wanna try and kill me, you better do it quick and you better be damn sure you do it right because the second I’m down, that dog will rip your throats out one by fucking one. She’s done it before, I’ve seen it. You’ll have to kill me - which she won’t take lyin’ down - and get to the guns behind me to take her down. She works quick, hell of a lot quicker than me. If you’re fightin’ both of us, you don’t stand a chance. You that confident? I am. So is she.” 

Gatling snarled as if on cue. 

“Other option is to get the fuck out of here,” you said. Joel could just see you around the dog, blood dripping from your side, lip split open. “We got backup comin’, we’re from a settlement of hundreds and we’ve fought off raiders and infected for fuckin’ years, think we can handle a band of fucking children without much trouble. This worth dyin’ for? Right now, I got your death warrant. Up to you if I sign it.” 

“Abby,” one of the men said. “Let’s go.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” She snapped. “You want to just go? Now? Let him live?” 

Gatling snarled again. 

“You’re runnin’ short on time!” You growled, teeth clenched tight. “Now or never!” 

“You lost control of the situation,” the man hissed. “We’re not all dying for your fucking revenge mission.” 

She turned toward Joel and he watched the hatred and the rage move through her. He watched her think about bringing the club down one more time, just to see if she could land a final, killing blow before the dog struck hers. She moved a fraction of an inch toward him and Gatling adjusted, a vicious bark and a snarl ripping from her. 

“He wouldn’t want you to die for this,” the man said quietly, so low Joel doubted you could hear. “And Miller probably won’t survive this, anyway. It’s done. Let’s go.” 

“Fine,” she bit out, throwing the club aside. Joel tried his best to follow her with his eyes, praying that she wouldn’t go for you. Once the people had moved away from him toward you and the door, you called Gatling to you, the dog standing between you and the aggressors, snarling and threatening. They left, watching you closely, without a word.

The door closed and you dropped the axe, grabbing a gun from behind you on the ground and limping for Joel, blood dripping down your leg. 

“Joel,” you fell to your knees beside him. He tried to say something but all that left him was a pained moan. “You’re OK, I’ve got you, you’re alright…” 

“Tommy,” he managed, panting for breath. “Check… Tommy….” 

“OK,” you said softly, brushing his hair back from his forehead. “Gatling, guard.” 

You snapped your fingers and pointed to Joel again. The dog obediently came and positioned herself between him and the door, body like a coiled spring ready to attack. You went to Tommy and checked his pulse before adjusting him. Joel heard him groan and you said something he couldn’t quite make out before you were back to him, a bag with you this time. 

“They’ve gotta have something in here,” you said, ripping through the contents. 

“Baby…” 

“Tommy’s alright,” you said, glancing at Joel before going back to the bag. “He’s comin’ around. Ellie will be back soon, she’s bringing help, it’s going to be OK Joel, it is…” 

“Baby.” 

“Hush.” 

You found what you were looking for, a bag with some medical stuff inside. You set it nearby and looked over Joel’s back, wincing as you did. 

“Need to look at the front of you, too,” you said. “I’m going to roll you over, alright?” 

“Baby…” 

“Shut up, Joel.” 

Your hands shook and he cried out in pain as you moved him onto his back, flinching when you saw his leg.

“Jesus,” you whispered. “What’d they do to you?” 

“Baby,” he said again, managing to lift a hand enough to almost reach your face. You took it, gently guiding his bloody palm the rest of the way to your cheek as you leaned down into it. “You’re bleedin’.” 

“Oh,” you looked down at yourself. “It’s fine, I’ll be fine…” 

“Need to take care,” he had to stop for a second, grinding his teeth through the pain as it wracked his body. It took him a moment to catch his breath. “Care of yourself. I’m… I can’t make it back, not like this…” 

“Shut up, Joel.” 

“Promised to protect you,” he said, brushing his thumb over your cheekbone. “Lemme do it.” 

“Protect me later,” you said, setting his hand down and ripping the bag of medical gear open with your teeth. “Going to put bandages on your leg, see if we can let the tourniquet off, save the leg…” 

“Baby.”

“Shut UP, Joel!” 

He watched you work for a moment and you felt farther and farther away with every breath. He could feel himself fading and he wished you’d just stop, that you’d take care of yourself and just hold him while he could still feel you. 

“Need you to look after Ellie,” he said as you wound bandages around his thigh. “She’s gonna act like she doesn’t need anyone but she does and…”

“And she has you,” you cut him off with a glare. “So it doesn’t matter.” 

You released the tourniquet on his leg and it was more of a relief than he’d expected it to be, the pain of it fading to a dull enough roar that he’d forgotten it was there until the weight of it was lifted. 

“Gotta get this spot at your side, too…” you adjusted his shirt and leaned over him and he got a better look at your own side, a bright red splotch growing on your shirt, a long gash going from your ribs down toward your stomach. 

“You’re bleedin’, sweetheart.” 

“I know,” you said. “Getting you fixed up first…” 

“Baby.” 

“Joel, I swear…” 

“Need to get you and Tommy back,” he needed to stop for a second to catch his breath, the rise and fall of his chest straining his ribs. “Can’t… can’t die knowin’…” 

“You’re not dying here,” you snapped, your voice thick. “I just got you back, you’re not dying here, you’re coming home and you’re going to be OK and…” 

You sat back, looking at the spot on his side that you’d just bandaged, wiping your nose on the back of your wrist as you did. 

“Gotta take care of yours now,” he said, eyes tracing the spot at your side. But you shook your head. 

“Outta gauze.” 

“Baby…” 

“It’s not that bad,” you sniffed. “I’ll just… hold pressure until Ellie gets back. It’s OK, you’re gonna be OK, I can’t….” 

“Here,” he ground his teeth, breathing through another wave of pain. “Lay… lay with me. Cut side up, keep the blood from flowin’ too easy.” 

You looked at him for a moment before nodding and lying delicately next to him. He adjusted as best he could so he could see you, touch you. You’d been hit in the face at least twice, one of your eyes swelling shut and your lip split open. But you were still beautiful, so damn beautiful. 

“I’m so sorry baby,” he said softly. 

“Joel…” 

“Wanted… wanted so much more time with you and the girls,” he said quietly. Your skin was soft, so soft it seemed like the sensation of it might be the only thing holding him to the earth. “I’m so sorry we’re not gettin’ that…” 

“Stop talking like that,” you were crying now, not making any attempt to stop it. 

“It’ll be OK sweetheart,” he said. “You’ll… you’ll be alright. Ellie’s gonna need you, keep an eye on her for me. Keep her outta trouble. Savvy, too. She loves you… she’ll… she’ll come around…” 

“Joel,” you whispered, reaching out to cup his face, your fingers in his curls, one of the only places on his body he wasn’t bleeding. 

“I’m so happy we made things right,” he said, his eyes searching yours. He wondered, if he watched you closely enough, if he could bring the precise color of them with him wherever he was going. “I love you so damn much, sweetheart. Need you to know that, OK? I love you.” 

“I love you too,” you breathed. Your skin was so soft and your breath was warm on his skin. “I love you. I love you.” 

You said it again and again. It was the last thing Joel heard before he passed out. 

Next Chapter

A/N: Hi y'all ❤️

Again, begging for you to trust me, OK? OK.

I do love you but... feel free to yell at me in the comments or in my asks or DMs. I'll be responding to asks about the last chapter soon now that this one is up.

Thanks for going on this crazy ride with me!! It truly means the world.

Taglist: @ashleymsnodgrass@planet-marz1@kalea-bane @juneswonderlust@ilovepedro @h-annahayy @starstruckmusiciansartghost@beccerjune@mumma-moonchild@netonetoneto@mellymbee@purplelye@n7cje@flugazi@evyiione@randomhoex@aliengirl99@orcasoul@reds-ramblings@pedropascalsbbg @fupoola @tinypotatothing @knopes-waffles @lilmizmoz @ayamenimthiriel@jenispunk@panda-pascal@sarap-77@flugazi@your-slutty-gf@daniegraceg@partyofone3413@cumberpegg@noisynightmarepoetry.@fifia-writes@grumpygrumperton @srmacaroni @txlady37 @bigboiseason123@ashleyfilm

[pixiesfz]

Is that Jessie fic getting a 3rd part? I want to see them reunite 🥺

I wrote this in my study I:

ALSO: I changed the club that y/n moved to because I was told Gotham wasn't near Portland and then I felt stupid but I'm not that familiar with NWSL

the set up j.f

plot: Your teammate is giving you a hard time about Jessie

warnings: angst part 3 of hey there

You had finally settled into your new home and had made your debut for Seattle Reign FC.

You had made some new friends and even kept in contact with almost all of the girls from Chelsea, Christine had come over every now and then to make sure you were okay but in reality there was only ever one girl that you wanted to see.

Jessie.

You hated yourself for it.

You were the one who broke her heart, you were the one to tear your relationship apart.

She has every right to ignore you.

But it still hurts when you would see each other in public and she wouldn’t even say hi.

But today was different. Today Seattle Reign would vs Portland Thorns and as both you and Jessie were midfielders you knew there would have to be some sort of altercation between you two.

Lauren Barnes, a friend you had made since your move was waving her hand in front of your face, trying to gain attention as you sipped on your hot chocolate. “Earth to y/n” she sang out and you looked up at her “Sorry?” you asked

“I said are you worried about the game but I think I already got my answer” she smirked “Oh” you shrugged “I guess”.

“So it’s true then,” Lauren said, leaning closer to you “What is?” you asked

“That you and Jessie dated before she moved to Portland”

You rolled your eyes at her eagerness “Yes we did Lozza, now go off and pester someone else” you whined, and the girl shook her head “Why’d you break up?” she asked “Because she was going to Portland and I thought my forever home was London” you told her “but you’re back here” she pointed out “I am” you nodded “So…” she trailed off “So?” you asked.

“So get back together!” she whisper yelled and you flinched away “Jesus Lauren” you whisper yelled back and she backed away sheepishly “Sorry”.

The girl didn’t stop making comments about the Canadian to you on the bus and in the changing room as you all got ready.

“You are not helping me,” you told the girl as you laced up your boots.

“I’m being honest I saw her looking at you when we were all checking out the pitch” she excitedly told you “No she wasn’t” you denied “She was! It was like you guys were playing tennis, every time you looked away she was looking at you and every time you looked at her she was looking away!”

“Do you mind focussing on the game?”

“Nope”.

You rolled your eyes in defeat and shrugged off your jacket “let’s go games about to start” you huffed and walked away.

Christine saw you walk out with a scowl as she was also planning to get an early start on the line-up.

“Kiddo what’s up?” she exclaimed and grabbed your shoulders, you turned your head towards her “Just a bad day,” you told her “Was it Lauren teasing you?” she asked and you shot your head up “How Did you-“ “I may have asked her to ask about Jessie to you” she admitted and you stepped back “why?”

“Because I have been pestering Jessie”

“Well stop,” you told her “Me and Jessie broke up a year ago” you started, not hearing the boots that were walking behind you “It’s been a year and I haven’t even got the courage to start a conversation with her and you guys are telling me to ask her out again, do you even know if that’s what she wants” you ranted.

Jessie has always been an early bird, to everything. It usually gave her peace and quiet but when she decided to join Christine at the line-up she definitely wasn’t expecting to see you waving your hands around whilst complaining.

“I haven’t even got the courage to start a conversation with her and you guys are telling me to ask her out again, do you even know if that’s what she wants?”

Your words were clean off your tongue and Jessie stepped away and hid behind the corner.

Ask her out again.

But you didn’t love her.

At least that’s what you told her.

“I’m sorry” you apologized to Christine and hugged her, sighing in relief when she smoothed her hands over your back “Freshen up kid, I’ll see you on the field”.

You walked away, thankfully to the front so Jessie didn’t have to worry about you but as soon as you were out of sight Jessie stepped to Christine.

“Why are you meddling?” she asked the older Canadian who was shocked to see her “Jessie-“ “She told me she didn’t love me and I moved states, I thought I was over her” she gritted her teeth “god” she cursed “you guys can at least talk about it,” Christine said and Jessie scoffed “she might have something that you’ll want to hear,” the older woman said softly “like what, how much she didn’t love for those two years of us dating”

“Jessie” Christine tried to reason but the girl back away “I’ll come when Janine does” she said and walked back to the room, opposite of where you had gone.

Christine watched her walk away and lifted her arms in surrender.

“Fucking kids”.

[luminouslywriting]

How do you think the guys would react when one of their friends starts dating their sister? Like maybe she read in a letter that their buddy wasn’t getting any and decided to take matters into her own hands and strike up a pen pal-ship with them that becomes serious…

Imagine coming home from war and your baby sister runs straight past you to jump your buddy who she can’t possibly know

DeMarco?? As a brother? And Brady? As a lover?? I can see it now. LISTEN, I have thoughts under the cut, so buckle up kiddos haha! Reminder that my requests are definitely open and I don't mind spam :)

Cut for length, more under the cut, some light occasional spice haha:

-It doesn't mean to happen??? Like actually though?? Benny mentions in one of his letters home that a friend of his does not have a girlfriend and is feeling a little lonely at times

-And you, being the angel that you are, just take matters into your own hands

-So imagine Brady's surprise the week before he goes down in the Stalag to receiving a letter signed Y/N DeMarco

-There he is, going about his day, trying to get training in, and just minding his own business, and mail call comes and he has a letter?? He doesn't recognize the return address and he's a little baffled. But he's not about to turn down mail.

-So he opens it up and starts reading and it's this very sweet letter explaining that your brother mentioned he had a friend who didn't have anyone writing him and you were just going to fix that for Brady :)

-John Brady is many things—including flattered—but he's also like WTF?? Like where did this person come from, how old are you (is this allowed lol), and maybe it'll be nice to have a friend??

-So he writes you a letter back with these questions included and he fully means to mention it to DeMarco

-It's just that DeMarco goes down on a mission with Gale Cleven and there's nothing he can do about that

-And then HE goes down on a mission with Bucky Egan

-He honestly forgets all about it until letters to the Stalag start to arrive

-The thing about this entire situation is that he likes having a little something to himself? It's hard to get privacy and anything that's really 'yours' in the Stalag, and so these letters become an escape and a safe place for him

-He relies on your good humor and stories to get him through the day and all the while, he's falling in love with the person that you are without ever having seen you

-And it's the exact same situation for you

-Brady isn't stupid though, he burns all of the letters that you send him so that the Germans can't use anything against him when it comes to you

-So by the time that they switch Stalags again and again and he hasn't gotten a letter in months, he's already decided that he's in love with you and is going to ask you to marry him

-The only problem in this foolproof little plan of his is a short king with a dog named Benny DeMarco who will be absolutely furious about the turn of events that he has not been clued in on for over a year and a half

-So he figures that it's probably best to just....not mention anything until he sees you??

-LOL SIR NO

-But anyways, the war ends and the boys get to go home

-And Benny DeMarco is having a GREAT day. He's ready to see his family, his beloved little sister, eat some good chow, and sleep in an actual bed.

-He's fully prepared for the tears on the train platform and everything else

-What he's not prepared for is to see you run PAST him and jump into the arms of none other than Captain John Brady

^Actual footage of Benny DeMarco, seconds after seeing you and Brady kissing at the train station^

-So yes, he's baffled, bamboozled, shocked, dismayed, BETRAYED and majorly confused

-But after a whole sit down conversation about the letters and everything, he's super jazzed to be getting Brady as a brother in law and he's actually pretty happy about the whole thing

-But he absolutely turns to the younger siblings that you both have and warns them to never do something like this lol

-And yes, there may have been a fist fight that you heard about later between Brady and DeMarco, but it was never really that serious....just a protective older brother making sure Brady was good enough for you lol

[itsabouttimex2]

hey 👋 could you please do more of platonic yandere hawks x teenage bartender reader pls ? :)) I love your work

(Aw, thank you! I’ll go back and tag this series as “Teenage Bartender” since I’ve got a few fics for it now)

Patronage

Out of all the people you’ve ever served, Mr. Takami is definitely your favorite patron. The League of Villains ranges from outright bad to somewhat decent when it comes to personality, each causing you trouble in their own way.

Mr. Bubaigawara is also pretty alright, but you have to cut him off after a while so he doesn’t drink himself to sickness. He’ll switch from thanking you for looking out for him to criticizing you for being a “mood-killer” in the same breath. You like to believe that the kinder half of him is the “real” one. It always feels more sincere, in your opinion. You try to see the good in everyone around you, after all. No matter how hard it may be, or how dangerous or depraved the individual is.

Maybe you’re an optimist, Keigo Takami thinks to himself, nursing a non-alcoholic strawberry spritzer. Or maybe you’re simply too naive to see the dangers of the killers and criminals around you. Maybe it’s a case of feeling obligated to love the unloved, to accept the spurned, to try and save those dedicated to hurling themselves headfirst towards irredeemability. Maybe you sympathize with them, with what they’ve been through in their tumultuous and checkered lives.

No matter what the reason is, what really matters is that you, in spite of whatever horrid circumstances have landed you in the middle of these villains, playing caretaker and maid and nanny to drunk, belligerent murderers…

You’re still kind.

That’s why Keigo truly believes that you, more than anyone else here, can be redeemed.

Not only because of the way you treat him, but also the way you treat your “coworkers”.

When Toga gets immediately drunk off of whatever cutesy cocktail she begged you to whip up, you help her get to a couch and make her lay down, leaving a bin by her side. When Shigaraki is having another one of his tantrums, you line up all the broken glasses and worn down equipment you have onto the countertop so he has something to focus his aggression on. You listen close to all of Spinner’s rants about Stain, even if you don’t understand a word he’s saying.

You see something in them, clearly. Keigo isn’t quite sure what it is exactly, but he’d love to know. Do you care about them? Do you think they could redeem themselves? Do you think you can off-put their suffering and bloodthirstiness by being kind? Do you consider them to be family? Do you consider him family?

You’ve been around him long enough to see him as a friend, surely. You treat the winged double-crosser with the same forthcoming kindness that everyone receives when they sit at your counter, ensuring that he’s happy, hydrated, warm, and not-

“-hurt? Mr. Takami, did you get hurt?”

“Sorry, kiddo. Didn’t quite catch that one. Run it by me again?”

“That mission ran a little long, didn’t it? Usually you’re back a lot sooner, so I wanted to make sure that you were alright, Mr. Takami. You’re not hurt, are you?”

Keigo is a well-guarded man. He doesn’t give away too much and he’s good at hiding his feelings and thoughts. Still, he can’t keep himself from smiling right now. With a gloved hand, he reaches out to ruffle your hair.

“Just fine, kiddo. Things got a little troublesome- when don’t things get troublesome, huh? But i got the job done no problem, like always.”

You try to meet his smile evenly, taking his drained glass and giving him a fresh drink in turn. There’s a moment of strange silence, something’s there’s never been between the two of you.

“I’m really glad,” you quietly admit to him, breaking the lull. “I think you’re… you’re the only one who talks to me the way you do. I don’t…”

He leans forward, propping his elbows on the table and resting his chin on his twined fingers. “Talk to me, pint-size. You’ve got my ear. I’ve got some time to kill.” He adds the last line just to make sure that you know he won’t mind if this takes a while. Even if he didn’t have the time… he would make it, for you.

“I really, really do like everyone! Really, I do! But it just feels… it all feels so endless, Mr. Takami. If someone isn’t mad at me, they’re puking on the floor. If they aren’t puking, they’re crying in the corner. If they aren’t crying, they’re picking fights. If they’re not fighting, they’re breaking things. If they aren’t breaking things, they’re mad at me for something. It just goes on and on, and I- I just-“

You pause, your breath hitching inwards sharply as you bury your face into your hands. You put your palms flat on the countertop, staring at your weary reflection on the polished surface.

“I’m so tired, Mr. Takami. And I feel like I’m never gonna get to take a break.”

“Okay, come over here,” Keigo guides, leading you around the counter by your hand and towards where he remembers seeing you head each night. Your personal room, he assumes. “The bar,” you try to argue as he pulls you along, “needs me at the counter. What if someone comes by for a drink?” Your words fall on deaf ears, it seems. “Most of the league is made of grown men, kid. Trust me, they can stomach a few hours without alcohol.”

He opens the door, giving himself the first view of your room he’s ever seen.

Knowing that you can’t see the face he’s making, the undercover hero allows himself to frown at the sight.

This isn’t a bedroom. This is a storage closet with a small bed and a nightstand. It’s barely four feet wide, and just about six feet long. The sort of room you’d put spare brooms and mops in, where you’d hide away a half-used gallon of drain cleaner or spare dish soap bottles you had gotten on sale. A place too claustrophobic and enclosed for anything except supplies.

But instead, this room had been given to you, a literal teenager who was giving their all to support the League in spite of getting nothing out of it.

For just a moment, his blood boils.

The League can pretend to be good. They can pretend to be heroes and freedom fighters. They can pretend that they’re fighting for a fair and just society. They can pretend that they aren’t monsters and murderers.

But this is how they treat their own. He’s always known this. The League of Villains prioritizes powerful, dangerous individuals above all else, prioritizes those who can spread chaos and mayhem in the name of their destructive goal. And you don’t fit into that powerhouse category, so you get shuffled away, tucked out of sight when they don’t have you serving them or playing babysitter to grown drunkards.

Keigo thinks he understands it, at least. But the truth is that some of the League do care for you. Twice, Spinner, Magne, Toga, Mr. Compress… all of them do care about you, as a friend or as family. And in turn, you care for them.

But he doesn’t think of that. As he helps you into the cramped bed, he thinks of “saving” you, and getting you out of here. Of bringing you home and keeping you safe from the harms and horrors of the world around you.

And there will soon come a day that you tumble out of the villain’s claws and into a hero’s talons.

[torukmaktoskxawng]

Headcanons if Avatar!Grace lived and raised Kiri alongside the Sullys and adopted Spider:

"Jake Sully, I know damn well that you didn't just ground your son for recklessness! 'You wanna hear about reckless? How about the time you taunted a baby hammerhead titanothere and its mother before being chased into the jungle by a Thanator like the asshat you are."

Spider is depressed because Neytiri has yet to warm up to him. Grace gathers him up like he's still a baby and since she's a Na'vi and he's a human, it's so easy to do: "Give her some time, kiddo. Neytiri has lost more than most to the Sky People. In the meantime, go find your sister. I think she's been wanting to show you her newest verse in her songcord."

"Neteyam, sometimes you gotta just ignore your father. He's a jarhead. No. I'm not telling you what that means."

Kiri when she's vocal about her insecurities and how she feels different from everyone else. Grace silently listens before saying: "You hear Eywa? Normally, I would call you crazy from a scientist's perspective... but after what Eywa has done for me... After she saved all that I am in this body while the human one died, and after she gave me you, I don't think it sounds as crazy anymore. You're a miracle, baby. My sweet little miracle. You and your brother are so special, and any moron who says otherwise must have a death wish."

Ever watch Once Upon a Time? Remember this scene between Regina and Emma? ⤵️

Quaritch: He's my son-!

Grace: HE'S NOT, HE'S MINE!

"Jake, Lo'ak came to me traumatized because he walked in on you and Neytiri."

Jake: It was an accident. But at the same time, he can't just walk in without announcing himself.

"No? Huh. That's funny. Hey, I think Norm should go talk to your son about the time you wheeled in on him and Trudy--"

Speaking of Norm, Grace has a hard time being able to fit herself in their portable biolab due to the size so Norm and Max build a large greenhouse and lab meant for Grace's new height difference. They can't change the fact that the microscopes are still too small for her hands, however.

"If my hands weren't capable of crushing the damn thing I would've done it myself instead of letting you idiots tamper the samples with your saliva AGAIN."

She still teaches all the village kids how to speak English among other human customs. A new school is built in the mountains and Tuk is her best student, obviously.

Grace vocally admits she prefers Jake in a wheelchair because he was easier to push around. To which Jake responds: "Woman, you know damn well you still push me around."

Here's some more angst: Kiri and Spider are arguing and I believe this scene comes from the live action Mowgli movie:

Kiri: You're my best friend, Spider. I understand what it's like for no one to want you. I don't have any friends neither. But we have each other and we're like the same--

Spider: We're not the same.

Kiri: We are. Because- you're special, and I'm special--

Spider: WE'RE NOT SPECIAL! Don't you get it?! We'll never be one of them! We're freaks! You're not special, Kiri! It's just something Mom tells you to make you feel better about yourself BECAUSE YOU CAME OUT WRONG!

(Side note: Wow. I just made myself cry.)

Grace would be beside herself. She's trying to comfort Kiri after the fight and trying to figure out what to do with Spider. She knows she should ground him, but at the same time, she knows where he's coming from and why he finally snapped. With Quaritch hunting them and likely trying to take Spider back, the boy is beyond stressed on top of still trying to fit in.

Lo'ak ended up being the one who got Kiri and Spider to make up after giving each other the silent treatment for a week. Lo'ak understood them better than Grace ever could.

Grace, with Rotxo, probably: If you break my daughter's heart, then I'll break your tail.

Jake is trying to get his whole family to behave alongside the Metkayina so that they could stay there and not get kicked out. He didn't realize he'll have to make GRACE AUGUSTINE behave on top of that.

Ronal and Grace have MAD respect for each other you can't convince me otherwise.

I NEED to see Avatar!Grace riding a skimwing with the brightest smile on her face that would be so amazing.

Tsireya buddies up to her immediately, sticking to her side like glue and asking a hundred questions, usually followed by "Can I take Kiri and Spider swimming?"

Ao'nung keeps a good several feet between himself and Grace. He's suspicious and she straightens him out with one glare, ESPECIALLY after he bullied her kids around for being freaks.

Grace even got Tonowari to laugh when she came dragging his son home by the ear for talking rudely to her.

Grace is like a second mom to Neytiri when they're so far away from home.

And finally:

"I'm too old for this bullshit."

Please reblog and add your own headcanons! I need more Grace

[harrys-sunflower-bakery]

What if I told you I love you? (Giyuu Tomioka x Reader)

Hiii I hope y'all are doing well! I wanted to write something for my favorite Hasira, so here's a fanfic for Mr. Tomioka. Hope you enjoy <3

Summary: You are in love with the Water pillar but you managed to convince yourself he's in love with someone else. So how does your story end up when he almost dies while on a mission with you?

Warnings: Swearing, angst, a little bit of gore/ description of blood, mentions of death, Shinobu being mean (I love her I promise, it was for plot purposes)

I look down at my sweating palms as I walk to the hashira meeting, anxious to see Giyuu again. The last interaction between the two of us had been a bit more than a month before today, I missed him dearly. When I get to the mansion, I see the rest of the hashira chatting while waiting for the master, my eyes scan over the yard and see Giyuu sitting to the side on one of the picnic chairs located in a corner of the courtyard. A smile graces my face as I make my way over to him. His face stays in its usual emotionless resting position, not that I mind, I’ve always found him beautiful no matter what his facial expression is.

“Hi Tomioka! I missed you, how are you?” I smile brightly at the Water Pillar, he looks up and his lips twitch ever so slightly. I almost got a reaction, it’s progress!

“I’m okay, you?” He murmured softly, glancing at me.

“I’m good, I’ve just been lonely without you and the others while on that mission. It was fun to see other parts of the country though! There was this one place I think you would love, it was a whole field covered in cherry blossoms, it was so beautiful…” I trail off at the end seeing his zoned-out look. My gaze follows his to the other hashira, only to be met with Shinobu’s smiling face while she’s chatting with Mitsuri. My attention moves back to Giyuu who looks mesmerized by the one and only Shinobu Kocho.

I frown slightly, feeling jealousy bubbling up in my stomach, I catch yourself before acting on it though. “I’m going to go say hi to the others, excuse me. It’s nice seeing you again Giyuu” I nod to him before walking over to the rest of the hashira saying hi and hugging the pillars you were close to: Rengoku, Tengen, and Muichiro. “Hey, you three, you been behaved?” I asked jokingly while pulling each of them in a hug.

“I have been good as always my friend!” Rengoku answers in his usual peppy tone making me smile at him.

Uzui steps closer and takes my hand in his and lifts it up to his lips before placing a kiss over my knuckles, “Much better now that my future fourth wife is back after a month. We missed you,” he teases before pulling me into a gentle hug.

“Y/N?” Muichiro asks as if suddenly remembering me, his reaction makes me smile and pull him into a hug. Muichiro was living with me for a few years now as the master didn’t want him to stay alone with his amnesia as well as the fact that he’s still a child. He was staying with Tengen the last month though and I missed him a lot. We have a very good relationship, but it can be a bit hard seeing him not remember me sometimes. Not that I mind, at the end of the day I’ll always be willing to help him remember me.

“Hey there Kiddo, how have you been?” I asked while ruffling his hair.

“I’m okay, I’m glad you’re back,” he answered before hugging me again making me grin at the teen.

“I’m glad too, buddy.”

“Hello, my children, glad to see you all here, healthy and intact,” we kneel in front of the master as soon as we realise that he’s arrived, and I greet him.

“Hello Master, it is good to see you in good health.” We all keep our heads down waiting for him to address us again. I could hear Mitsuri mumble something about her wanting to be the one to greet the master making me only look down more.

“Thank you, my child. Now as for why I have brought you here, as you all know Y/N has been away this past month on a mission to try and get more information on the upper ranks of the Twelve Kizuki. She has found some information about a suspicious number of demons in Tokyo, we suspect one of the demon moons is behind it. So, the reason I have gathered you all here my children is to ask for two volunteers to go with Y/N to infiltrate the city and take down the demon. So, my children, could two of you join her?” he speaks gently as always but in such a way that made everyone know there was no arguing, not that any of you would.

After a few minutes of silence, Giyuu spoke softly as usual, “I will go with her if you’ll allow me Master,” he was still in a kneeling position, his voice filled with respect for our leader.

“You may go if you wish to do so my child,” Master Kagaya answered him with a smile, “anyone else?”

“I will go, Master,” Muichiro spoke from next to me making me look at him with a frown.

“Very well then, Y/N do you have any objections to your partners?”

“I- Master forgive me for not agreeing, but I do not think it wise to bring Muichiro with. I understand that he is powerful and that he is a Pillar like the rest of us, but he is still a child. And he is under my protection, I do not want him to get hurt,” I speak my concerns.

“I understand your views and I respect them, but as you said Muichiro is a hashira just like the rest of you and he has taken down a member of the upper moons before, so I think it would be good to take him with you and Giyuu.”

I sigh slightly still not liking the idea but agreeing nevertheless, not wanting to go against the master’s wishes. “Yes, master.”

The meeting ended a while after and I was saying goodbye to Kyojuro and Tengen, “Take care of yourselves please,” I said looking at the two men towering over me.

“We should be the ones saying that to you, cupcake,” Uzui answers before pulling me into a hug.

“I’ll try my best,” I smile up at the sound pillar holding onto his bicep before turning to Kyojuro and giving him a hug as well. After goodbyes, the two of them walk away while talking and I look around for my two teammates and find them both sitting in silence waiting for me so we could get our orders from Master Kagaya. I walk over to them and get their attention.

“You two ready?” I ask standing in front of them now making the two Hashira look up at me for a second before nodding their heads, the three of us then walk to the master.

Here we go.

Muichiro and Giyuu follow me in silence as we make our way to the train station, we finally see the lights in the distance and I turn to them, “Okay, so you both know that the corps isn’t exactly… legal according to the government, so we’ll have to hide our swords from the train staff. So if you don’t mind giving them to me for a moment I can get them safely on the train.”

They look at me and nod before handing the two nichirin blades over to me. We finished our walk and found seats, I took out the swords and handed each to the two boys sitting in the compartment with me. Muichiro sits next to me and rests his head on my shoulder, “you okay Buddy?” I ask before bringing my hand up to smooth out his hair.

He nods softly before deciding to talk “I am, I just missed you,” he answers before slowly starting to drift off eventually falling asleep with his head against my shoulder making me smile.

“He really cares about you,” I hear a voice speak from across where I was sitting. I look up at Giyuu as he looks at us with his usual expression on his face with a hint of something I can’t quite catch in his eyes.

“I guess, I care about him too,” I smile at he boy sleeping, his face peaceful, not an ounce of worry on his face. “I care about you too, you know,” my words fall out of my mouth before I can process them. I look up at Giyuu and smile at him, he was always so quiet so I didn’t expect him to answer me, but to my surprise he did.

“Why?” he asked, a slight look of confusion on his face.

“Why what? Why do I care about you?” he nods making me frown, “because you’re my friend Tomioka, you were always nice to me when I first joined the corps, even before I became a hashira,” I take a breath wondering if I should say what I want to. All logic got thrown out the window when I look into his deep blue eyes. “Do you remember the first time we met Giyuu?”

He nods, his brows furrowing slightly as if wondering why I’m bringing this up “Yeah? Why?”

I smile “Do you remember your reaction to seeing me in Mr. Urukodaki’s house? You looked so surprised to see someone there. Your facial expression was priceless, as if you couldn’t believe your eyes. And then Mr. Urukodaki started teasing you about picking up your jaw. After a while you came in and ate with us and fell asleep,” I smile looking at the boy sleeping next to me before looking back up at Giyuu. “And then a few hours later when I couldn’t sleep you came to sit with me outside to look at the moon.” I look out the window to see the moon shining in the night sky. “Looking at you that night, the moon lighting up your face, I didn’t ever see anything as beautiful as you were that night. I care about you because you’re a kind person, you’re a hard worker, you’re funny, and so very stubborn. I care about you because you care for others with such a deep part of you that you don’t even realise it. But to be honest, I don’t care about you…” I contemplate my words, my pause and words making Giyuu frown. “I- I love you Giyuu.”

He looks at me in shock for a moment before blinking several times, his mouth opens and closes a few times before keeping his lips sealed making me speak again “I- Giyuu, you… you don’t have to say anything. I just- I wanted to let you know how I feel. Don’t let what I told you make you feel like you need to return my feelings, I just thought I should tell you.” I say quickly before looking away, “I think you should get some sleep now, tomorrow’s a long day. I’m a light sleeper so we don’t need to take turns staying up, you can sleep, I’ll wake up if there’s a problem.”

Giyuu looks at me for a few seconds before nodding and turning  to the side to rest his head on the wall of the train compartment. He falls asleep in a few minutes and his breaths slowly even out.

I watch him a bit before turning my gaze to the window and watch the moon as we pass by the trees, the moon truly is beautiful, isn’t it?

The next day we got to our destination, I sneak our swords off the train and grab my luggage. Giyuu, Muichiro and I walk through the streets of Tokyo and find a place to stay. I speak to the clerk and pay him for the room. The man shows us our room and I thank him before closing the door and turning to the boys. “He seems nice,” I say smiling, “You two should get settled, we need to start investigating the area where the demon attacks happened a few days ago and the area surrounding the house.”

 The boys grab their things and place them to the side of the room. I start up a conversation with Muichiro while we unpack. Giyuu just focused on his things while staying silent, only replying with a hum of agreement when you asked him something.

Maybe I messed up, my feelings should have remained a secret, an unspoken words that bonded you to him without it being returned. There has been a tension between us the whole day and I hate it, he hasn’t really spoken, not that he every really does, but this time it seemed more forced than his natural quietness he usually has. He has something he wants to say, but he’s trying not to.

“So, what’s up with you two?” Muichiro asks.

His questions makes me bink a few times, the words still being processed. Muichiro may be a kid with memory difficulties, but he’s one smart kid. I sometimes wish he would be a bit more oblivious to these things, but that’s never happening. “Nothing happened, why would you think something happened?”

“I can sense it,” he replied sticking out his tongue making me laugh and ruffle his hair.

“Well stop sensing it, everything will be fine,” I say smiling at him. We take a few more minutes to unpack our things and we leave to the area we need to investigate.

Once we get to the house we make our way inside, the bottom level seems normal, a clean corridor with a table and ornaments. A kitchen to the right of the hallway, a common area on the left and then a staircase straight ahead.

“Do you want us to split up?” I could hear Giyuu ask, speaking for the first time today making you turn to him.

“No, I think it’s best we stay together, we don’t know what we’ll find.”

“Okay then,” he answered before following me and Muichiro upstairs. We take slow steps to the top floor. Once we enter the hall I gasp and cover Muichiro’s eyes and I see Giyuu’s eyes widen ever so slightly. I regain my composure and look at the scene infront of us. The doors were smashed over, broken into numerous pieces, the grey walls were drenched in dark red stains, the floor covered in it as well. In between the blood splatters are several scratch marks spitting the wallpaper.

I look at the scene and move my gaze over to Giyuu, his eyes meet mine, a slight look of terror and sadness filled his eyes. I lean over to Muichiro while still covering his eyes. “You know I’ve seen worse right?” he mumbles.

“Mui, now’s not the time. I know you’ve seen worse but that still doesn’t mean that you should see this,” I said before pulling out a piece of material out of my pocket and tie it around Muichiro’s eyes.

“Oh c’mon,” he pouts, making me roll my eyes before holding onto his shoulders ushering him forward.

“Just keep that on please, I’ll help you around,” I say softly before guiding him to Giyuu to stand there. “Giyuu, can you please just stay here with him? I want to make sure the rooms are safe before you two go in.”

Giyuu stands there for a few seconds before speaking, “I think I should go check it out, you stay here with Tokito,” he spoke with a little more emotion in his voice than usual. I open my mouth to object but he does something I never would have thought, he smiles at me, and with that he walks into the room. I stand there with Muichiro for a few minutes and wait for Giyuu to call us or come out of the room. After about five minutes he hasn’t left the room making me take Mui’s hand and pulling him behind me to go look for Giyuu.

As we step in the doorway, I hear a yelp and a thud making me run into the room as fast as I can, “Mui, take off the material. You need to move alone now,”

“Finally!” He exclaims before ripping it off and letting go of my hand. I stop and look around the room to see any sign of Giyuu but fail to find any. I hear a soft grunt from above us and look up only to see Giyuu trapped in a sort of wool trap stuck to the celling while being choked by a thick rope like crochet part of the trap.

“Mui, stay vigilant, they have to be dangerous in order to have a Blood demon art such as this,” I say before removing my Katana from its sheath and holding it defensively. Right after I hold my katana in my hands, I see a figure move across the room and I move into a defensive position. “Tokito, can you try and free Tomioka? I don’t know if he can breathe in that thing.”

The mist pillar responds with an “Okay” before jumping up and slicing the crochet trap making Giyuu fall to the floor. “I got him down, he looks badly hurt though,” Mui told me softly before checking his pulse “He’s still got a pulse though so that’s good.”

I look at the demon feeling anger bubble up my stomach, how dare they hurt the man I love? How fucking dare they hurt the kind man that risks his own life every day for the sake of others? “You’re a fucking coward, hiding on the other side of the room in a shadow. Show yourself bastard!” I yell into the area I saw the demon. I look into the darkness before I see something jumping towards me.

I dodge the attack quickly and swing my blade as I turn around, I use the momentum in from my turn and let the force of it fall into the blade as I aim for the demon’s neck. In a second the demon’s neck rolls to the ground and the body stands there for a while before turning to ash. As soon as the body and head disappear, I run over to the boys.

“Mui we need to get him out of here and to Shinobu as soon as possible,” I said looking over his wounds, he was without air for a while so I’m afraid it might have affected him more than it looks.

I move his body and pick him up before telling Muichiro to follow me as we make our way out of the house. “Shouldn’t we wait for the Kakushi?”

“Giyuu may die if we don’t get him to someone who can help, so I don’t give a shit about the kakushi right now, I’m getting him to Shinobu’s!” I snap at him immediately regretting it afterwards as he flinches. “I’m sorry Mui, I didn’t mean to yell, I’m just scared. Can we go?” I apologize and he nods before following me. We both start running in the direction of the Butterfly Mansion with Giyuu unconscious on my back.

Please Giyuu, please be okay.

I look over at Giyuu in the infirmary bed, his breaths even and face in a peaceful rest. He looks so beautiful. He’s been like this for two weeks, the damage was worse than I originally thought, Shinobu said that if I didn’t start running when I did he would be dead right now.

I’ve been here with him since we got to the mansion, only ever leaving when I started to smell bad and needed a shower. Right now, I was starting to fall asleep in the chair next to his bed, I move my arm a little to hold his hand and I fall asleep. After a few hours I feel a soft squeeze to my hand causing me to wake up.

I look over at Giyuu, his eyes start to flutter making my eyes widen in shock. “Shinobu! Aoi! Tanjiro! Someone!” I yell out the door before turning my attention to Giyuu again, “Please wake up Giyuu, Please wake up,” I murmur as I hold his hand to my lips. After his eyes flutter a few more times they open.

“Oh my gods, yes! You’re awake! Oh, thank goodness!” I cry before standing up and pulling him in for a hug. “I’m so glad you’re okay, you scared the shit out of me. Please don’t ever do that to me again.”

“I’m sorry what happened?-“ he gets cut off by Aoi and Tanjiro running in while Shinobu comes walking in casually, pissing me off. Could she at least pretend to care?

“Mr. Tomioka! You’re awake, thank goodness!” Tanjiro exclaims while running over to the bed.

“Oh, you’re awake Tomioka,” she says with her usual empty smile rubbing me the wrong way. Why am I getting so angry. “You’d think a Hashira wouldn’t get caught so easily by a lower rank demon, you’re lucky the River an Mist hashira were there.” As soon as she finished her one sided conversation my patience snaps.

“Your friend almost died and all you can say is ‘your awake’ and insult him for being attacked while trying to make sure it was safe for his team to enter? What the fuck is wrong with you?” I spit angerly.

“I think we should leave,” Aoi said to Tanjiro before the two of them leave.

“Are you jealous that he looks at me more than he looks at you Y/N?” Shinobu asks teasingly.

“You bitch-“ I move to pounce on her only to be caught by Giyuu still holding onto my hand.

“Please don’t fight like I’m not here. Y/n it’s okay, it’s just her way of speaking.” Giyuu says softly looking up at me.

“It’s not okay Giyuu! She treats you like trash and you always just say “It’s okay” but its not okay Giyuu! It’s not okay that you fell in love with someone who can’t even show a small amount of happiness that you’re okay after you almost died, that’s not good for you-“ I get cut off by Giyuu’s lips on my own.

The moment is short but it fills me with so much joy, the one thing I’ve wanted most for years is now finally happening. His lips are as soft as they look, they are gentle against my own. I wish we could always stay like this. But I pull away before letting my mind wander.

“I- what was that for?” I stutter.

“To get you to give me a chance to speak. I don’t have feelings for Shinobu. I don’t know what gave you that impression, but I only have feelings for you. You’re the only person I’m interested in, Shinobu is just a friend,” Giyuu replies softly holding my face in his hand.

“I think I’ll take my leave now,” Shinobu mutters before leaving the room smiling at the two of us, she planned this didn’t she?

“You… you really have feelings for me?” I ask softly, my face turning into a slight frown as tears pool in my eyes.

“How could I not? You’re wonderful, I love you, I can’t tell you why, or how. But I love you and I know I wouldn’t change that for anything.” He smiles at me, like actually smiles. His eyes wrinkle at the edges as his lips lift in an expression of happiness.

“I love you too,” I smile back at him with teary eyes. “Can I please kiss you?”

“Of course, you can,” he answers before pulling me in for a kiss. “I’m so happy that I finally got to do that.”

“Me too, Giyuu, me too.” I kiss him again and move to lay next to him on the bed, warmth washing over me as I fall asleep.

[estellardreams]

"You've changed..."

[Continuation of this mini fic]

(Prince MK belongs to @purble-turble. Genuinely I just came up with the name for this mini dark lotusnoodles spinoff AU so uh yeah)

It was... Rough, to say the least. Being forced to stay in a rather small cell while awaiting trial.

There was a small pulse on the wall before a ring of golden energy pushed back the wall to an open door.

Mk stood on the other side, still carrying Lán in his arms.

He paused, looking between everyone. He quietly shuffled back, trying to keep his distance.

Wukong got to his feet, putting his hand up to the ring.

"Hey... Kiddo. You okay?" he softly asked.

Lán looked between him and her baba, then back at him.

"Baba isn't normally allowed to speak to you all without papa's supervision."

"What?! Why?!" Mei exclaimed, getting to her feet.

Wukong frowned. "Nezha... He's the one who told her that, huh?"

Lán blinked, her once innocent expression shifting to a more darkened gaze. "Now I see why papa warned me about you all..."

She climbed out of MK's hold, walking up to the ring. Despite being a young nine year old, she oddly had an intimidating aura around her.

"You're all trying to endanger my baba again! He's safer here than with any of you because in trying to rescue him, you're just gonna let him get caught by that Demon King Red like all those other times!" she snapped.

Wukong froze. "Kid, it's not like that I promise!"

"Then how come baba is still here if you and the king aren't here?"

... Okay, he couldn't quite argue with her logic- No that's what Nezha wants.

Wukong shook his head, kneeling down to Lán. "This might be hard to explain, but I'm your baba's mentor. I want to protect him just as much as you and your papa do."

"Then why couldn't you?"

"I... I didn't see the signs. And I'm so sorry I put you in danger like that." his gaze shifted back up to MK.

MK's turned away, trying to not look at his friends and family.

It hurt too much.

It hurt that he couldn't talk to them.

Couldn't... Say anything.

He so badly wanted to tell them.

Just... Everything.

But of course, especially here, he couldn't say a word.

"... I'm sorry I can't talk to you all. Lán, let's go." MK took Lán's hand and began to lead her away.

"Baba? Where are we going?" she asked.

"How about you go play with your friends?"

"Okay! Race ya!" she immediately bolted.

MK waited until she turned the corner before rushing back to the cell ring.

"I don't have much time before I gotta get back to her, okay?" he whispered, a bit panicked.

"Yeah yeah yeah, it's fine. MK, how are you holding up?" Wukong asked.

"Ehh. Could be doing better. This stupid flower pin is keeping me from leaving this realm. And no, I can't take it out."

He growled. "Of course. It's a less threatening and harmful version of restraints that king red would've usually gone for but it still keeps you here."

"Yeah."

"Okay but what's the deal with the KID?!"

"Lán's... A kid Nezha made without my knowledge using his and my own DNA into a pearl stone."

"How long had it been for you? I'm so sorry we couldn't come sooner we really wanted to but the barriers between the Mortal Realm and Celestial Realm were really powerful."

"Ah, that explains it. And yes, it's been almost nine years for me."

"Shoot. Six months for us, nine years for him. Oh, what are we gonna do?" Mei began to slip into a panic.

"Mei, I promise it's gonna be okay. All of you just hang in there, okay? Maybe I can... Hopefully get you all a lighter sentence or something?"

"I... Don't think they'd take your word over the lotus prince." Tang said.

"Oh, right..." MK frowned, moving his hands back to his sides.

"What's with the weird outfit, anyway?" Mei asked.

"The... Gown? That's, uh... A choice. Honestly I just wanted something not traditional and extremely red that King Red would've put me in so..."

"That... Makes sense? I guess?"

MK flinched, hearing footsteps from the far end of the hall.

"I need to go, I'm so sorry. Bye!" he quickly shut off the ring and made a run for it, catching right back up to Lán.

Unfortunately MK wasn't allowed in the courtroom.

Nezha and Li Jing were there, making sure things went smoothly along the nine kings.

"And to read out our sentence..." the third king spoke, holding up the scroll.

"Sun Wukong, Long Xiaojiao, Sha Wujing, Zhu Bajie, and Tang Sazang have been deemed... Guilty. Over trespassing, attacking the heavenly army, and attempted kidnapping of the lotus prince's fiance. The Lotus Prince himself will bring about your worthy punishment."

Nezha got up from his seat, drifting down in front of the five calmly.

"Father. I wish to punish them with the Pagoda. To ensure they are never a threat to Heaven again." he said.

"Very well, then." Li Jing drifted down and activated the pagoda. The celestial guards keeping watch in the court forced the five to be sucked in before it shut off.

"It is done... All of you are dismissed." Nezha ordered.

"But what of your fiancé? Is he alright after such attacks?" Li Jing asked.

"Yes, of course. I've been keeping watch over him and he didn't get hurt."

"That's good."

"Now I'm gonna go back to him and our daughter! Goodbye, father."

"Goodbye, son."

Nezha flew off, finding MK watching over Lán, whom was playing with other children in the realm.

"Hey, MK." Nezha sat down next to him.

He quietly leaned onto him. "Don't worry about your friends. No harm came to them, I made sure of it."

"Oh thank the great sage, thank you..." MK breathed a sigh of relief.

He turned back to the lotus prince. "Can I see them?"

Nezha paused. How was he gonna tell him that he got them locked up in the Pagoda?

"... Not at the moment. I apologize."

"Oh... Then, um... Maybe soon?"

Soon... Nezha would have to find some way to show that they were all still there, somehow. But he could figure that out in time.

"Of course."

MK's gaze shifted back to the children playing around. Nezha leaned onto his shoulder, tugging at him in a hug.

"Love you, MK."

Mk didn't say anything. But deep in Nezha's heart, he was silently saying it right back to him.

And that made him feel so much better.

[aziraphales-library]

Hellooo!! Tysm for all the work you do mods this blog is acc amazing :)

I wondered if you know about anymore mcu (marvel/avengers) crossover fics cos I noticed there was only one post under the mcu tag and it’s rl hard to find good marvel crossover fics with GO lol

Thank you so much !!! <333

We have a couple of posts on our #marvel crossover tag. I don't read them, so don't know how "good" they are, but here are more that had interesting sounding summaries...

Shakespeare (Nerd) in the Park by ThePandaFangirl (G)

Aziraphale notices a certain actor in the park who suspiciously looks like a teen he met in the 1600s… and the man who tried to invade Earth 7 years ago OR a one-shot of the times when an angel of God (capital 'G') saw a particular Norse god (lowercase 'g')

Guardians of Alpha Centauri by I_llbedammned (G)

Set in the post Almost End of the World from Good Omens and the Post Infinity Wars from the MCU, Crowley and Aziraphale are living their lives as normal when suddenly they are summoned halfway across the galaxy to help deal with the pressing problem of one Galactus trying to consume everything in his path. However there is a small problem in the fact that the act of summoning cut them off from the source of their power. Will they gain their powers back in time to save the world yet again?

Angel of God, my Guardian dear by savorvrymoment (M)

Meanwhile, the angel sighs, soft hands brushing through Bucky’s hair. “Oh, don’t say such things about yourself. You are beautifully human. Dear boy, would you look up at me?” The angel has to encourage him further with his hands, but Bucky eventually does meet the other’s gaze. He has a cherubic face and soft, aqua blue eyes. His gentle smile is comforting and heartrending all at once. “Please forgive me,” Bucky begs. “Please, Lord, forgive me…” “Shh… You know something? You remind me of a friend of mine,” the angel tells him. “He was a great and righteous warrior. He stood for goodness and passion and devotion. But he happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, and he fell from a great height…” “You’re so very funny, Angel,” Crowley interrupts. Though Bucky doesn’t look away from the kind face in front of him. “They tried to burn away his spirit and his light and his love. But they failed,” the angel continues. “He was too strong of heart to truly be broken.”

Iron Serpent by prettybirdy979 (T)

'What should I call you then?' 'Crowley. Anthony Crowley.' Tony has to beam at Mr Crowley. 'My name is Anthony too!' Mr Crowley smiles, a quick grin. ‘What a coincidence Kiddo.’ He stands, offering his hand to Tony. * Or four year old Tony means Anthony Crowley, demon of Hell and Serpent of Eden. It's the start of something that might, somehow, one day, be called a beautiful friendship. It may also save a life.

Guardian Demon by these_violet_delights (T)

“Think of me as a sort of… guardian demon.” “PFFFFTTT-HA!” Jessica did an actual spit-take and burst into laughter, first at Crowley, then at herself, shaking her head in disbelief. “Guardian demon! Leave it to me to have guardian demon! Did the angels just give up, or…?” “Jessica Jones, I can think of only one angel who might be qualified to be your celestial guardian,” the demon teased, “but he currently has his hands full shooing customers away from his bookshop. Face it, I’m the only being, celestial or infernal, who is not only capable but also willing and intrigued enough to put up with your bullshit.” “Fair enough,” Jessica smiled.  *** Or, what happens when Crowley shows up after Jessica accidentally kills her third victim? Whether from Heaven or Hell, Jessica Jones could use all the help she can get. Disposing of a body is a bonding activity, right? Starts at the very beginning of S2 Ep11 AKA - Three Lives and Counting.

Is This Heaven? No, It's Brooklyn by heyjupiter, volunteerfd (T)

After supervising the wrong child for 11 years, Crowley and Aziraphale discover that the Antichrist is actually in Brooklyn, and they have one month to avert the Apocalypse. Although they still need to figure out a few minor details (like how to stop him, and what name he's using), they book an Airbnb and head across the pond. Meanwhile, Bruce Banner, the last living descendant of Agnes Nutter, is also figuring things out, like how can he best answer his curious mentee, Adam Young’s, many questions about the planet? Why couldn't his ancestor's prophecies have been less nice and more coherent? What role will Stark Industries play in causing the end of the world? If he took down his Airbnb listing months ago, how did two strange Englishmen rent it out? And is he really destined to live the rest of his life with the asshole who plowed him over with a Bentley? The combined forces of science, religion, and coincidences--plus the hyper-competent Pepper Potts--might just be enough to avert the Apocalypse and give everyone a happy ending.

- Mod D

[notroosterbradshaw]

I wish you would write a fic where…Rooster teaches someone to play the piano. Could be to anyone: reader, reader’s child, or a music teacher!Rooster AU…anything you can come up with!

it's like you were in my daydreams, nonny, seriously. understand i don’t know the first thing about playing the piano so hopefully, this does not suckkk. I would have loved to have written music teacher!rooster, but I wouldn’t do it justice. So, if any of my friends know piano enough, I will put this to them! fluff awaits in ficlet form, I hope you enjoy x

Bradley had been gone a while, needing to shower before dinner after a sweaty afternoon in the cockpit. He enjoyed his space to shower, give him time to go over his day and just take time for himself (except those rare times when you’d join him of course, but those were a rarity these days). 

He’d willingly accepted the whiskey you’d handed him when he walked in, on ice when he arrived to cool him somewhat. And he’d kissed you slow and purposefully, grounding himself back to the Earth and more importantly you. You hadn’t mentioned to him that the one item he’d been waiting weeks to arrive had been placed with love and care in the study. You wanted him to unwind before -

“Daddy! Hurry up, you need to see this!” 

Well, the peace and quiet were nice while it lasted. You heard the shower shut off and the sound of feet thundering down the hallway towards the bathroom,  knocking incessantly. 

A few minutes later, Bradley reappeared in his boardies and a loose white tee, bare feet, hair loose and tendrils stuck to his forehead, wandering down the stairs with his baby girl on his hip. “What do I just gotta see?” Rooster chuckled, placing his little one on the floor and she took off. “It finally came?” he asked you hopefully.

You gave a wink in confirmation as he kissed you tenderly and took off with the same speed as your daughter.

“Okay, kiddo, ready to do this?” Rooster asked, plopping little miss on his lap as she bashed the keys in only the way an excited child can. It had been months since Rooster put his dad’s piano in storage to move to California. All of your family’s worldly possessions slowly but surely arrived, but his piano, the biggest and heaviest, was last.

The house was now a home. His study was finally complete with acoustics, a random bongo from his travels and his dad’s old piano.

Rooster’s fingers drifted across the keys, following his daughter’s as she giggled, trying to escape him and Rooster huffed a chuckle behind her ear. You smiled at them, leaning against the doorframe and letting them have their space. You pulled your phone from your pocket and started recording as Rooster asked for her hands, and started helping her find notes. Something to send to him on a long deployment when it was all getting a bit too hard.

“This is a C, gently press the key, sweetheart.”

BANG!

It wasn’t a note exactly but Bradley encouraged her to try again with gentler fingers this time. He held her wrist and showed her the force she needed and you swore, you could not have met another man you’d want to go through this life with than Bradley Bradshaw. Not the perfect man or father, but perfect for you and your little girl. 

This went on for another few minutes and as you expected, Bradley had the patience of a saint with her. You sometimes wished you had the same ability. You lost your cool so much easier with the amount of sound, mess, selective hearing -

“I hate to cut in, Bradshaws, but it’s nearly dinnertime,” you interrupted as Bradley nodded but didn’t make an attempt to finish up to prepare the table. You wandered over, massaged his strong shoulders and tenderly whispered in his ear, “You’ve got five minutes, Lieutenant Commander.”

He shuddered. “Yes, ma’am. Wouldn’t dream of bein’ late.” 

“I hope not,” you said, hearing him tell her he was going to play Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and they were going to learn together over the next little while together. 

“I used to sing this to you every night when you were just a baby. When you were still in your crib.”

“Before I started walking and talking?” she asked.

“Yep. And making messes, and sassing Momma. And going to kindergarten. You’re growing up too fast...” Bradley tutted her. “Fingers here, baby girl. Let’s have a few more minutes then dinner.”

A few hours later, Rooster had finished bedtime and wandered back down to find you reading in the study, legs hiked over the side of the arm. He knocked them off and spun you to sit up with a low squeal. He crouched before you and spread your legs wide, his large palms pressing into your ribs and dragging you forward. “How’s the book, Momma?” 

“What book?” you teased. He knew he had your undivided attention, took the book and tossed it away gently. It was so few and far between you got moments together. While Rooster had relocated and taken up a permanent position at Top Gun, he still travelled a lot. He still worked long hours. He still missed a lot of the important stuff. But he was home every night and that’s more than you could ever ask for. 

You laced your fingers in his hair and pressed your fingers into his scalp. His honey-coloured eyes fluttered closed and he leaned forward into your touch. “You gonna play something for me now?”

“You want Twinkle, Twinkle too?” he muttered a joke, your fingers feeling so damn good and he wrapped his arms around your waist, letting his weight collapse against your chest. 

“Not Twinkle, Twinkle,” you told him without having to tell him as he grumbled a quiet laugh. “Our song.”

“Why our song?” he opened his eyes to you and moved his lips for yours, leaving a gentle peck against your mouth, his tongue darting out and sweetly sweeping against yours for just a taste.

“It’s our wedding song, I love it. And I love it more when you sing it for me.”

He gave you a shy kind of smile. “Okay, love. Your wish is my command,” Bradley moved to stand, caressing your chin with his calloused palms and he passed and moved back to his piano stool. He so desperately needed a new one. The cushion was so very well used and the material desperately needed reupholstery. You knew why he hesitated and you knew when you’d never take it upon yourself to do that for him but it did really need some love.

“It was Dad’s, it’s perfect,” he told you one night when you asked. 

He looked back at you and gave a small grin, gently rubbing his lap, and begging you to take a seat. “You aren’t getting out of this so easy,” he offered you his hand. You pulled yourself off the seat and took his waiting palm. He pulled you over, sitting you down right where he needed you. He nuzzled your ear and whispered, “Gonna be my good girl and learn with me?” 

“Can’t I just sit here and watch you get lost in the music instead?” his voice made you heady and needy in a matter of moments. 

“No, you have beautiful hands, you can play with me.”

“We can skip the lesson and I just play with you anyway?” 

He huffed a laugh into your skin. “You can do that later. But right now, we’re doing this,” Bradley’s fingers grazed down your arms and his hands came to rest on the keys. “Now... each key on a piano uses seven notes - ” 

“C, D, E, F, G, A, B,” you muttered. You weren’t a fool. You knew the basics... just don’t ask you where they were on the keyboard before you.

He hummed proudly. “Good girl. And these notes repeat themselves all over the keyboard. This is C,” he guided your hand to the key and let you press it. “Good,” he gave a dimpled grin back as you glared at him. 

“I think I can play a key, Bradley.”

“I know, but I love riling you up, so...” he admitted, kissing your clavicle. “Try D, E... F,” he instructed as you did as you were told. “Very nice,” he breathed into your skin. “A plus.”

“A plus? I didn’t realise this was graded, sir,” you mocked, knocking back a quick rendition of Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star as Bradley chuckled. “Honestly, had no idea I’d remember that after all these years. Don’t think I’ve played since I was little one’s age.”

“Wasn’t your thing,” he understood, fingers gracing over the keys in a melody that only he knew. Sweet, slow, sexy. Just like your man. “I didn’t have a choice. After Dad died, Mom put me into class, and my hands weren’t even big enough to reach the right keys. I feel like she didn’t want me to lose that part of Dad, but I don’t even really remember him playing anymore.”

He didn’t remember much of his dad at all, truth be told. He’d grin and listen as his dad’s old team would talk about Goose’s exploits with Mav, but really... he couldn’t even really remember what his old man looked like if he wasn’t looking at a photo of him. He knew he resembled him, but he was his mother’s son too.

“Little love will need a few more years to practice with me before we put her into a lesson. If she even wants to.”

You reached back and wrapped your arm around Bradley’s neck. “Whatever you think, sweetheart.” 

He nodded, satisfied. 

“But are you going to play me our song?” 

“I’ll play our song,” he agreed, his voice low as he played the opening keys to the song that would only ever be played for you, his soft, gravelly voice simply melting you as he commenced. The rumble of his chest reverberated through your back, warming you, calming you.

🎶 Well I've always known, pain's like a heavy stone. It's too much to carry... to carry alone.

That's the story of love. It takes time to know it's true. You need someone to lean on. I need someone to lean on too. Someone to help you through. Hey, so just let me carry you.

Carry you, carry you, carry you, oh baby. You let me carry you. Carry you, carry you, carry you...🎶

“God, I could listen to you sing for hours,” you rested your head back on his shoulder as he placed a kiss on your temple and he kept singing. You could feel it in your soul how desperately he felt the words called to you, your relationship, the love you had for each other. 

🎶 Just you and me baby. We can weather what's wrong. A heavy heart is a heavy load to carry alone 🎶

When he stopped playing, he urged you to stand and went over to the record player, holding a finger up and tenderly urging patience as you leaned against the piano and watching his shoulder and biceps tense and flex as he flicked through his record collection, looking for the perfect song to cue.

He smiled as he turned, the gentle crackle of the old vinyl eerie in the quiet, dim room as he held out his hand. “Come dance with me, love.”

“Class is over?” you teased, approaching him and reaching for his hand as he carefully twirled you under his strong arm and guided you into his arms. He nodded softly and you felt the air in the room change.

“Class is over, love. Dance with me now. Need to touch and feel you.”

Your knuckles grazed his cheek, unbothered by the marring of blemishes from his wiry scars. The most beautiful man you’d seen and he had the audacity to be in love with you too.

masterlist.

A/N: the tag list no longer exists. To keep up to date, give @notroosterbradshaw-library a follow x And if you haven’t downloaded it already, go get The Teskey Brothers, please. Quick smart.

[leidensygdom]

ENNU EPILOGUE RECAP!!

OKay! So, our campaign ended! Yesterday was the 81 session, and last one of it- Our DM did a wonderful job at running it. We basically got to ask them for the scenes we'd like to see, and the session was built around that. It's been three years, so it was wild to see it come to an end! Here's a recap tho (a lil bit more focused on my blorbos since they're the ones you know)

The epilogue happened two years after the campaign's end, with a couple of flashbacks going some time back

First scene was welcoming Blasma (one of the party members), who had been on a trip all this time to heal her soul at her grandpa's dubious laboratory. She's pretty okay currently- if we ignore soul healing is something theoretically impossible. Probably many questionable things happened there. Osten traveled with her to make sure she was doing okay

Next scene was her welcoming party. A bunch of shenanigans happened. Yxala tried so play cool aunt, got her a motorbike. They ended in somewhat odd terms and my girl was trying so bad to get her trust again

Pulsar and Tephra- each polycule's kids- appeared to be overall terribly adorable. Yxala talked a lot about her Sweet Potato. Tephra is Yxala and Relé's biological kiddo (as evidenced by the branched horns), 6 months old, and just one of these big hefty babies who is starting to munch on everything (here's a token of baby her, and what she's like grown up!)

we also got to see the closure of Mythannae, Yden and Jorven's polycule! Myth and Yden recovered their enchanted clothing business. They specialize in magical clothing adapted to specific needs- Like fireproof clothing for fire genasi, helmets with bag-of-holding like pockets so you can put them on with horns, that stuff. Jorven has now been working on music again. (For context, Myth was my previous character before I switched for Yxala!)

Blasma's player also had an epilogue for his previous character- she's a tired old lady, who is now joining another tired old lady to get in politics. An improvement, given they were cops before that

Centi got to resurrect the weird celestial wife of an old teacher of hers- Who had been snatched up by Sol Ascensus and transformed into a monster. I can't wait to show Niereva to y'all tho, she's a bit of a weird aminal (a mantis/naga-like aasimar)

She may have done a fucked up pact with a psychopomp tho-

We had Yxala's, Relent's and Uri's wedding, we knew that was coming! It took Urion a long while to recover from after the Deep Lab, and they still struggle a lot with that they did as The Onirist

We had a scene of Urion's recovery. Initially they didn't even want to come to terms with being Urion- They were The Onirist. Relé had a hard time forgiving them too, bc they DID hurt Relent a lot. Yxala was a bit more fine about it, even after having her heart carved out by them.

they're all going to therapy lol

There's actually a cult to The Onirist/Ataraxia now though! Some people loved the idea of a godly machine that could solve everyone's hurts and ailments, and they're asking for them to come back and fix the world. maybe the mind control microchips were fine, y'know

(uri isn't doing great about this)

We had the ceremony- Money and seeds are given to the partners as a sign of prosperity and life. They're gonna have a great garden.

The polycule drank (alcohol-free) wine imbued with each other's blood too bc ceremonies there go hard- (this one is seen as a bit more archaic)

And a major exchange between marrying partners is expected. They exchanged basses- They had them custom made many decades ago, with Urion's being based on clouds (after Relé), Relé's being based on fire (after Yxala), and Yxala's being based on bismuth crystals (after Uri's). Now Uri has the fiery bass, Relé has the bismuth one, and Yxala has the cloudy bass

Urion was the bassist for Demonwire, a group they were a part of with some other anarchist friends. This bass has a very long history and it's very significative. Yxala was a bit shocked.

After that, the wedding after-party took place. Blasma set a date with Osten- They didn't actually get romantically involved up until now (and it's probably gonna be very slow still gfhudhdgf)

I forgot to mention this but Urion and Relent are now involved with an organization to help the people who were affected by the Deep Lab and The Onirist's actions. Uri had a very awkward interview about it.

We had few other closure scenes here and there. Finding out two other npcs are marrying, the fact the weird undead guy somehow has a new kid, that stuff- and then we went onto the final one

Which was a concert by Demonwire. Urion played with them for the first time in 12 years, and gave an awkward speech, and it was super sweet and just a great point to end the campaign in!

With that, we're now set to go play the next campaign- Which will happen 8 years after this epilogue (ten years after the end of the major campaign events). I'm going to be playing Siegmund, one of Yxala's kids, and I'm very excited for that.

Yxala won't be doing any major stuff- She's gonna still go fight corpos in the streets and she's going back to the Mecha Derby (did y'all know she was a mecha pilot in a sports competition lmao. I'm working on her pilot fit, it's cool!). Urion is going to be back on Demonwire, mostly to raise funds for those hurt by The Onirist and Ataraxia, and will have a bigger role coming up- Specially given Siegmund's (and Vyxander, his twin) have a lot to do with that. Relent will also be doing some major stuff, but it will remain spoilery for a time. He's got some big things to handle!

I may have cried a bit at the end because it's been so long. I'm glad the characters won't be fully gone. Next campaign will have a lot more lore stuff to gush about- We're going to adventure outside the city, and meet people from all over the world. There's a country that uses souls in place of nuclear fission. It's gonna be wild! (And thank you for reading-)

[leclerced]

Lando’s kid would be totally unhinged. He’d just go around after a race and shit on Lewis because “my daddy was second and now he’s third because of you!” Then with Daniel calling him meanie cause what do you mean his godfather isn’t racing for the same team as his daddy. Tell Max it’s okay to retire because he heard he’s getting quite old and if he retired his daddy would win for sure. Then go to Carlos and tell him what does he think he’s doing with his fave uncle Oscuh??? Now he’s on the black list and won’t get a present for Christmas. Hug Charles after “the bad red team fucked up again” (they’re laughing and freaking out at the same time because he shouldn’t swear and Lando’s wife will cut off their heads if she hears that). Just a menace without a brain-mouth filter like his dad hahaha

okok i love this sm and i have one other ask of urs ab charles that im trying to do a one shot w but im trying to make it soft and lovey and thats hard for me so. its takin a min

daniel trying to explain that he used to drive for them but he drives for a new team. the kid eventually forgives danny when he says if he didn’t switch teams, oscar wouldn’t drive with his daddy. the kid immediately is like “oh im glad you left daddy’s team. i like osc-uh more than you.” and daniel’s a little happy his godson has forgiven him for switching teams, but also like hurt by the toddler saying he likes oscar more.

he definitely tells max to retire and he would definitely be like, going around telling everyone max is retiring so his daddy can win. oscar following him around apologizing to everyone like, “sorry he doesn’t know what he’s saying! ignore him, max is not retiring anytime soon.”

carlos crashing out and almost taking oscar out with him and he goes to the mclaren garage after his interview so he can apologize to oscar, lando’s girl is there with their kiddo and the kid is immediately like, “car! you are a meanie! why did you try to hurt my friend?” and carlos is still apologizing to the kid when the race finishes up and he has to apologize to oscar in front of the kid for him to accept it.

if he’s there when charles has a bad race, he’s taking his favorite toy and candy over to the ferrari garage to cheer him up. like he has a dnf and lando’s girl has to take him over there because he won’t stop crying until he sees charles. she’s holding his hand walking him over and he suddenly pulls his hand away and runs ahead when he sees the driver, and hugs his legs sooo tight. charles ruffles his hair before he picks him up and kiddo whispers in his ear, “sorry your team fucked up charlie! mommy said not to say that word but she said it first.” and charles sees her approaching and is like, “shh don’t let her hear you say that, she’ll blame me! but it’s okay they messed up, i get to see my favorite boy!” n kiddo giggling and hugging charles again

[your-queer-dad]

i finally talked to my mom (again) about getting my hair cut shorter- and we've got a tentative date on the calendar for later next week. i'm very happy. i've been thinking about this for a really long time (about a year) but what really pushed me is a few conversations i've had that basically boil down into: "man. i wanna cut my hair again but what if i actually don't want this and have been elaborately lying to myself" "you've been bringing this up for various ways in about a year. please just try" "man. what if it's horrible." "hair grows back. the only way you're going to know what you want is to experiment with it." <- one of my friends who consistently has crazy hair so i trust their judgement i think the thing i was most nervous about was my mom; the first time i brought this up, she was mostly on board, but then said something along the lines of "you're not doing this because you want to look like a boy, though, right?" which. then? nah. I was just trying to experiment. now? absolutely. i still haven't come out to her, exactly, but it's on my mind and i know she'll support me. still, that comment kinda hit me hard for a minute- as it would any closeted trans guy trying to discover his identity. anyways, with all that behind me; i'm going to cut my hair! and i'm going to look how I want! and it's (hopefully) going to be both before school pictures but not RIGHT before so i have time to get used to it! - sincerely, A Guy Who Named Themself After A Rock (he/they) (please go drink water and eat food, take meds, anything else you need if you haven't yet today once you read this. ANYONE who reads this.)

Hey kiddo!! I'm really proud of you for asking for something that's gonna help with your self expression and I think whatever haircut you're gonna get it's gonna look great!! Happy for you kiddo!

- dad x

[fangirlingfromdownunder]

A Sweet Mishap - Chapter 8

Pairing - Jensen Ackles x Reader 

A/N: I just want to start by thanking everyone for all the love on this story so far. Here's the next chapter, I hope you enjoy. Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist.

A Sweet Mishap Masterlist | Main Masterlist

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

I spend most of Christmas Eve in bed relaxing and catching up on much-needed sleep after days of long, busy shifts at the cafe paired with hours of wedding and party planning, all while trying to stay in contact with my intriguing new phone pal. But much to my dismay, and appreciation, Stella refused to let me stay alone through the night. She insisted I come over for dinner and stay for Christmas. As in her words, “It would be an atrocity for my best friend to spend the holidays alone”. So, I had no choice but to kindly accept her demand. 

As I walk towards the subway station my phone starts buzzing in my jacket pocket. I smile hoping it’s Jensen or Stella, but instead, it’s my boss. I sigh and brace myrself as I step out of the path of fast-passing pedestrians and lean against the brick wall of a fashion boutique. 

“Stewie, Hey!” I answer as brightly as possible.

“Y/N, Hi. I know I agreed to let you have today off, and that still stands. We’re closing soon anyway. But I just wanted to let you know a package got delivered here this morning with your name on it. There something wrong with the mail at your apartment? Your neighbours stealing your packages again?”

“Uh…no. Not that I know of. I didn’t order anything.”

“Ah, well I’ll leave it in my office. You have a key, you can swing by through the back and pick it up whenever you’re ready.”

“I’m actually around the corner right now. Can I swing by now before you close?”

“Sure! I’ll be here.”

“Thanks, Stewie. See you soon!” I hang up and rush down the street in the opposite direction, back towards the cafe. The sign’s already flicked to ‘closed’ when I get there, but there's light on in the kitchen so I go in. 

“Stewie, it’s just me. For the package,” I call out as I walk towards the lit-up kitchen. As I get closer, the smell of fresh bread and cookies overwhelms my senses. “You know we’re closing for two days, right?” I call out as I round the corner into the spacious kitchen.

The short, round balding man, with just a few strands of grey hair, comes into view carrying a tray of shortbread biscuits straight out of the oven. His glasses, sitting on the tip of his nose, are fogged up. “Yeah, yeah. But I got a big family to feed and a tiny kitchen to do it with. I put everything I got into keeping this place open. I may as well make the most of it.”

“Good idea. So, uh, the package?” I ask as I eye off the golden biscuits, shaped like gingerbread men, wreaths, bells and candy canes. My empty stomach growls andI clear my throat to hide it, but, despite his age, old Stewie hears it.

“Help yourself. I can spare a few. Grab a takeaway container. You can even have a loaf of bread, they’ll be done soon…Wife wants me home before dark.”

“I couldn’t. They’re for your family. I’m just here for my package, remember?”

“Listen, I ain’t no Scrooge. I know your measly salary may make you think I am, but I pay you as much as I can. Outside the holidays, we’re barely making rent. Least I can do is give you a few cookies and some bread.”

“Stewie, I know you do your best for this place and all of us. We all know it. But if you insist, I do find it hard to resist your cooking. Rudie’s great, but you’re the master.”

“No need for flattery, kiddo. Go grab your package from my office and I’ll package up some cookies and bread for you.”

“Alright, thanks. You’re the best!” I smile at Stewie as I go into his office. Mamma Jo was his mother, who passed a few short months ago. She was the light of the kitchen whenever she visited to check on things. Stewie runs the place with as much passion as she did, yet he hasn’t baked since she passed, that is, until tonight. I smile, hoping he’s finally finding his passion again. 

I spot a medium-sized cardboard box on the edge of the desk, I shake my head wondering what it could possibly be. Once I get close enough, I read the label. 

To Y/NMamma Jo’s Coffee and Chocolateria204 5th Ave, New York, NY 10019

From Jensen Acklesc/o Management Beverly Hills, CA 90210

I quickly pull my phone out, snap a picture of the parcel and send it to Jensen.

Hey Superstar, this your doing? Thought you were in Texas?

I don’t wait for a reply, I put my phone away and go back into the kitchen with the box tucked under my arm and my overnight bag slung over my other shoulder. Stewie hands me two boxes of warm goods; I don’t look inside but they smell delicious. He looks at me dubiously as I attempt to carry it all.

“How far you headed, Kiddo?”

“Not far, it’s okay. I’ll manage,” I try to assure him, but he sees right through it. He gives me a look to say he doesn’t believe me; it’s the kind of look you would expect from a parent who’s waiting for their child to come clean. “My friend’s place in Lower Manhattan. She and her fiance invited me for Christmas so I wouldn’t be alone. Plus, I’m helping with the wedding planning.”

“If you help me pack all these up,” Stewie says gesturing at the cooling cookies and bread, “and clean up the kitchen. I’ll drive you.”

“I’m happy to help, but you do not need to drive me that far out of your way on Christmas Eve.”

“I don’t endorse free labor, so either you get out of here now, or you stay and help and then I drive you.”

Feeling the strain in my arms already and dreading the walk in the snow, I make a decision. I sigh and put everything down on a clear counter and then start carefully boxing up cookies. Stewie nods and starts packaging the loaves of bread, croissants and other pastries on the other tray. Once we finish packaging everything, I clean the trays, bowls and utensils while Stewie wipes down the oven and benches. Working in perfect harmony, we’re finished in no time.

It takes a few trips to load everything into his delivery van parked in the back alley. Despite his insistence that it’s all for his family, I know he’ll end up sharing with his whole block and it just makes me admire him more. 

After shutting off the lights and locking up, Stewie skillfully navigates out of the alley and out onto the busy street towards Lower Manhattan. I provide directions to the best of my ability, using my knowledge of the few times Nick has driven me with some –a lot of–help from the GPS on my phone. AsI’m looking at the map I notice a text come through from Jensen, but I swipe up quickly to make it go away so I can focus on providing directions. 

After a while, Stewie pulls up in Stella and Nick’s driveway. I thank him sincerely, collect my things and carefully trudge through the light covering of snow to get to the front door. I wave Stewie off once Stella opens the door. I’m instantly welcomed by the warm and enticing smell of roast chicken. 

“I come bearing gifts, Merry Christmas guys!” I say as I signal for Stella to take the boxes of treats. She eagerly takes them as she eyes the other box at the same time. Luckily, though the smell distracts her and she hurries into the kitchen to put the boxes down and peek inside. 

Nick peeks over her shoulder. “Sourdough? That’ll be perfect to go with dinner. I’ll put the store-bought shit back.”

“Rudie or Stewie?” Stella asks critically.

“Stewie. He’s finally coming back on board after everything,” I offer happily.

“Yay!” Stella says clapping as she reaches for a cookie, but Nick slaps her hand away.

“Dinner’s almost ready.” He looks over at my still full arms and nods towards the stairs. “Guest room’s all set up for you so you don’t have to pass out on the couch this time. And if that’s a gift for us it can go under the tree.”

“Uh, yeah. Thanks. I’ll just go put my stuff down,” I say with a smile before slipping upstairs to the guest room. I dump my bag on the floor and the box on the bed. I stare at it curiously. Then remember the text in the car. I pull your phone out to read it, but Stella bursts in.

“I tried to make it all nice and pretty and festive for my bestest maid of honor!” She says joyfully as she points out the little Christmas tree and tinsel decorating the dresser.

“It looks amazing! You’re the best,” I say brightly, yet distracted. 

“You didn’t have to get us anything you know,” she says as she gestures at the box. “You being here and organising the bridal shower and helping with the wedding is more than enough. I know money’s tight at the moment.”

“Good, 'cause it’s not from me…Jensen sent it to the cafe. Stewie called and told me to pick it up, hence all the pastries and cookies. I wasn’t meant to go in today…”

“Jensen sent you a gift?”

“I’m not sure if he did or if he got his management team to. Maybe it’s an NDA and warning? He’s in Texas and it says California so…” I finally look down at my phone screen.

It was and I amI wanted to put my address, I didBut with no NDA my agent was against itBut I promise it’s from me

“He says it’s from him, his agent just wouldn’t let him put his address,” I explain, half to Stella and half to make yourself believe it. As I’m talking another text comes through.

Open it yet, Sweetheart?

“He asked if I opened it yet?”

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Stella urges as she pushes the box closer to me.

I touch the tape but then withdraw and text him back.

Should I not wait until Christmas?

After a minute his name pops up on my screen. I look hesitantly between the phone and my best friend. She nods understanding and stands up. “I’ll be downstairs, but I want details when you’re done!”

I nod and shoo her out quickly before leaning my back against the now-closed door.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Taglist: @stoneyggirl2 @hobby27, @n-o-p-e-never

[yoursjustasitwas]

it’s a gentle, perfect thing he never dared dream he’d get again. Ellie’s heavy against his chest, her eyes closed and mouth lightly parted. she’s breathing sleep slow, he feels her exhales against his neck.

he adjusts his arms around her, holds her more securely. because it’s habit now, because he gets to, he presses a kiss to her hair. it’s dark and shiny now, a beautiful, glossy brown. she’s not yet put it up because it’s only just dried, and Joel smoothes his hand down her head, smiles when he lets go and her waves spring back up. it smells good, fresh and clean and sweet in a way that’s uniquely Ellie. he loves it because getting to wash her hair means she’s safe.

Joel kisses her head again, and she makes a content sort of noise in her sleep. “Love you, kiddo,” he murmurs, and she won’t have heard except she does adjust so shes got the collar of Joel’s shirt in her fist. Joel loves her.

Sometimes, like this, when Joel’s awake and Ellie asleep against him, Joel will, ever so gently, pass his thumb across Ellie’s skull, where they were going to cut. he does it to assure himself it’s still whole, she’s still here, he’s got her. it used to hurt, a little, in his chest, when she was angry with him. even then, she crawled, shaking, into his bed after nightmares, or sobbed in relief when he got to her room first. it was grounding, to let her be angry and hurt and mistrustful as long as her skull was in one piece. he told himself that she could hate him for the rest of his life and it would be worth it, knowing she’s safe.

of course, there’s no pain now that she’s starting to forgive him.

he reflects on the conversation they had one night, when ellie had refused to sleep even after climbing into his bed.

“you don’t gotta know the truth,” he had said when she confronted him. it had felt like letting out a breath, admitting that he lied. “you can let me carry this for you. you can let it be true for you.”

“i cant do that.” Ellie said, because she was nothing if not a stubborn little firecracker.

he told her what happened in the hospital, emphasizing the part where he found her and could’ve keeled over he was so relieved she was alive, and sort of glossing over the gruesome parts. “i got you. didn’t matter what it took.” he said, instead of “i killed every last threat in that hospital for you.”

she had been silent for some time after, but had eventually turned into him, much the same way she is now, burrowing into his shoulder and holding the collar of his shirt in her fist.

“okay.” she had said, into his shoulder. “i’m still mad at you, but i think…i don’t want to be. i think i can try to start forgiving you.”

“okay, kid.” Joel had said, because he’s never been good with his words and couldn’t find anything that’s big enough to mean thank you and i don’t regret it, not for one second, and keeping you safe is my only priority.

He had managed to say “I love you, kid” the first time that night, when he had thought she was mostly asleep. she had tightened her fist around his shirt and snuggled closer.

the following evening, before going to bed, she had emerged in his doorway and said “goodnight, i love you.” and Joel smiled and hugged her and said it back into her hair.

she is safe, here. he gets to give her that. Joel’s never really been one for religion, he’s not a joiner, but he feels a sort of humble gratitude directed outward, at whatever must’ve taken pity on an old man to let him have this, let him watch Ellie grow up safe and happy and beautiful.

she’s downright flying in jackson. she’s got her nightmares and her suspicions and her hard days, which she comes to Joel to help her through, but he’s fiercely proud of the way shes settling. she’s damn good with the horses, has started making friends who love her so much they hang around Joels porch, waiting for Ellie before starting their games. they call him her dad—adults around jackson call her his daughter. they’ve not talked about it, he doubts they will, but it makes something warm settle in him.

“Joel?” Ellie murmurs. Joel snaps back to the present, where Ellies adjusting in a way that means either she’s about to fall back into deep sleep or she’s about to wake up. Joel brings a hand back up to her hair.

“i’m right here.”

Ellie hums and slips asleep again.

once more, Joel feels a gratitude larger than himself, something bright and warm that lives where Ellie lives in his heart.

that girl—she’s easy on him. he presses another kiss to her hair and hopes she knows how much he loves her.

[dovedewdrop]

Supercut

In my head, I play a supercut of us  All the magic we gave off  All the love we had and lost / 3.1k

✨Part 1✨

A/N: Thank you to everyone who showed so much love for part 1🥹 y’all are so kind🥰 Dedicating this to @gracieispunk because it’s her MFING BIRTHDAY🥳🩷

Warnings: pre/post-outbreak. flashback heavy. fluff. soft/mild smut. miscarriage. kinda angsty. v sad. Flashbacks in italics.

---

It had been nearly a month since Joel and Ellie had made the snowy grounds of Jackson their home, 27 days to be exact. The pair of you had kept your distance save for the small nods of heads as you leave your house in the early afternoon for your shift. You tried not to get wrapped up in what he was doing, which only proved to become harder after day 3, when Tommy and Maria had put them up in the house across from yours.

You had to remind yourself they hadn’t done that on purpose, that living spaces around here were hard enough to come by, but it didn’t sting any less when you watched them play happy families through your living room window, hanging decorations on their Christmas tree.  

It had also been 27 days of torture, your own mind acting as a prison cell, full of memories that haunted your dreams.

You sat in the restaurant nervously rubbing the top of your left thumb with your right, staring at the booth in front of you, eyes occasionally drifting to the other families at the tables around you, parents who looked to be in their 30s with young children, looking as though they were drawn by society, a “picture perfect” family. You’d managed to keep the storm at bay in your mind, but the winds were creeping back in and the water began thrashing around again, “What if she doesn’t like me?” “What if she thinks I’m trying to replace her mother?”

You’re snapped out of your thoughts when you hear laughter approaching you and before you even have chance to process, they’re stood next to you at the booth. You stand up and smooth out your dress, standing up to gently press a kiss to Joel’s cheek whilst his hand slides around your waist, gently pressing a kiss into your hair, a soft, “you look gorgeous,” whispered into your ear. The blush creeps up your cheeks fast and for a moment you feel as though you’re the only two people in the room but then you see her, Sarah, holding her dads hand and it makes your heart melt. 

They slide into the booth and you follow suit, Sarah eager to get her hands on the colouring sheet and crayons you’d picked up for her, a small frown appearing on her face when Joel nudged them closer to your side of the table. “Come on kiddo,” his eyes shifted to you, a soft smile gracing his features, “gotta introduce you to my friend.”

She eventually stops reaching for the colours and instead holds onto Joel’s hand as he tries to explain who you are and why she’ll be seeing so much of you, if that’s okay with her of course. “And this,” he looks at you and then back to his daughter, “is Sarah, and she’s incredible at colouring, ain’t that right?” She nods eagerly before her eyes fix on the colouring again.

“Well it’s a good job I picked this up for you then,” you say, directing your full attention towards her, placing the paper and crayons in front of her, she smiles gratefully at you.

“Thank you,” Joel reaches his right hand across the table to hold yours and the other comes to smooth out Sarah’s curls.

“No, thank you,” you watch as his brow furrows inwards in confusion.

“What are you thanking me for?” He chuckles ever so slightly.

“For trusting me.” He lets his brows go and they relax.

“I don’t know if you know this, but I’m kinda in love with you.” His thumb rubs circles into your hand and his lips curl upwards into a small smirk at the shock evident on your face. You let out a delighted huff of air and look down at your hands intertwined.

“Good because I’m kinda in love with you too Mr. Miller.” The look he gives tells you you’ve got him, hook, line and sinker. 

The three of you order, eat and spend nearly an hour and a half laughing, Sarah lets you help her with the puzzles on the back of the colouring paper and at 7:30pm you go your separate ways, Joel enveloping you in a hug to keep you warm and places a soft, chaste kiss to your lips, his beard scratching your chin slightly, with promises of seeing you tomorrow. When you slide into bed that night you receive a text from him that lights up the white walls,

Sarah said she really likes you and wouldn’t mind if you coloured with her some more, I think Sarah’s dad really likes you as well, goodnight sweetheart x  

You continue to look through the windows, watching Joel and Ellie share a laugh, you think for a second that Joel sees you but if he did, he pretends he didn’t. You felt a wave of embarrassment wash over you just like you had 3 days ago when you confessed to him on the porch.

You’d decided it was best to drag your feet upstairs to bed, a challenge in itself since your muscles felt so heavy, like they were begging you to stay and watch the scene unfold, like they were encouraging you to imagine yourself being involved in their festivities but ultimately you climbed the stairs and tucked yourself further into the duvet, letting the warmth of your own body heat lull you to sleep.

That night you dreamt about Joel’s body heat. You’d been out for dinner, taking advantage of Tommy’s babysitting services. The energy between the two of you had been palpable, it was present in the way he brushed the hair out of your face or the way your hand sat on his thigh as he drove you both back to his place from the restaurant. He’d bought your favourite wine especially for you when he’d gone shopping earlier that day and offered you a hearty glass when you’d gotten in and kicked your heels off, you curled up next to him on the couch whilst he sipped from a beer. 

“I know tonight wasn’t fancy or nothin-“

“Joel,” You cut him off, “ don’t need fancy, just need you, ya know that.” A humble smile graced his face at your admission and before you even knew what you were doing you were placing a kiss to the pulse of his neck, the corners of your lips curving into a small, saccharine smile as he lets out a contented sigh. 

“You tryna start something you can’t finish again?” The octave of his voice had dropped significantly, to your ears it had sounded like he was drunk and if it weren’t for the fact that he’d only consumed just short of three units, you’d have believed he was.

“I don’t know what you mean Mr. Miller,” He huffed out a short laugh at that and turned on the sofa to face you, his big, manly hands coming to cup your cheeks and subsequently nearly swallowing your whole face all the while his lips hovered dangerously close to yours. 

“Such a minx,” his deep brown eyes looked lovingly into yours before they flitted to the plush skin of your lips. The temperature was rising. “Come ‘ere”, something snaps inside him as he lifts you up into his lap and kisses you feverishly.

From then on it’s a frenzy of clothes decorating the floor of his house, almost like a trail of breadcrumbs from the living room all the way to the bedroom. 

It's been two hours of lips colliding and heavy breathing, of wiping sweat off your brow bone and not even coming close to the pleasure that you know will course through your bones when you finally get to finish but for now you’re both content to roll around in the sheets, to play and explore, to kiss and cuddle, to talk and fall further in love, if that was even possible. 

Your back arches off the mattress, his lips pressing delicately to the centre of your stomach, both hands wound around your back. You dig your nails into his scalp and he groans against your core, licking a long stripe before looking up at you with such innocent doe eyes before replacing his open, panting mouth with a smirk that’s embedded in his scruff. He pulls you into his lap to grind against him whilst you both look deep into each other’s eyes and when you let out a soft, delicate moan, his eyes are rolling back into his skull. The whole scene plays on repeat in your head like a broken record, until finally you jolt awake. 

A tear slipped from your eyes and your hand comes to covers your mouth so as not to wake Tommy and Maria when your sobs break through the dam. You sit clutching the duvet to your chest to help soothe yourself and you try to push all thoughts out of your head.

You’d just had a sex dream about your ex-fiancé, well, not a sex dream but a sex memory and God how you wished it was real, to feel his touch linger on your skin again. You desperately needed to distract yourself, so you shoved your feet into the slippers that sat next to the bed and headed downstairs to grab a glass of water. You concentrated on not letting the water overflow from the cup whilst your hand shook. 

The next morning you’d woken up on the couch, Maria shaking you awake ever so gently and letting you know with a sympathetic smile that if you didn’t start getting ready for work that you’d end up being late. You awoke confused and sore, which only hindered your emotions for the rest of the day. People came and went throughout your shift at the Bison, everyone in Jackson was polite and kind and always made conversation with you whilst you fixed them a drink, it made the hands of the clock move faster, something you were always grateful for. 

However, time seemed to stop when Tommy and Joel walked through the front door, you felt a sudden sense of shock but immediately argued with yourself about it, why should you be shocked? He lives here now, this is just as much his home as it is yours.

You reasoned that it was more because you hadn’t exchanged any pleasantries since your confession a few days prior, he didn’t seem to take it very well, so you were left in the dark to sit with your thoughts and emotions. Tommy rounded the bar and came to stand almost in front of you, except you could still see him over his shoulder, “go for your break,” he whispered.  

You took thirty minutes to compose yourself over a coffee, mulling over your feelings, wondering why you felt so pathetic in his presence, why you couldn’t just get over it whilst simultaneously chewing at the inside of your lip, a habit that you picked up post-outbreak. When you entered the pub again Joel was downing his third drink, a habit he seemed to pick up post-outbreak. Joel was never a big drinker before; he knew his limit and the only time you’d seen him truly lose it was a memory that stayed with you to this day.

You served locals, or should you say friends, and watched him throw back whisky after whisky, you clocked his glances in your direction that swiftly developed into stares until eventually Tommy was pulling him up and out the front door, guiding him home. You wondered where Ellie was, whether she was getting along with the other kids and was staying over or whether she’d have to deal with the aftermath of Joel’s binge. You felt for her, she seemed like a sweet kid, always with an edge of sarcasm to her, but sweet, nonetheless.

That night you tried your best to fight sleep but after a long day of fighting your emotions, you ultimately lost that battle too.

Your vision was glassy as you stood beside the bed. If you hadn’t clocked the crimson in your peripheral vision then the cramps that followed shortly after would have told you that something was wrong. Now you’ve been stood frozen in the same place for five minutes, not knowing what to do, your thoughts racing at a hundred miles an hour. You blinked and the tears began rolling down your face, the water bringing you out of your trance and prompting you to pick up your phone and call Joel.

He answered but you still didn’t know what to say or do. After a few “hellos” and a “are you there?” to which you gave a muffled response, he knew there was a problem. 

“Darlin’, what’s wrong?”

A beat.

“Talk to me.” His voice was so soft and kind, only ever for you and sometimes Sarah. “Do you need me to come home?”

“Yes,” you broke down then, knowing that you couldn’t let the words tumble put of your mouth but also knowing that this is what Joel was going to walk in and see and it was going to be a huge punch in the gut. All you could do was curl up onto the floor, dragging the blanket you kept at the bottom of the bed into your lap and wait for him to scoop you up and tell you it was okay.

Joel only spared a quick glance in the direction of your shared bed before slumping down on the floor next to you, he pulled you towards him, left hand engulfing your head and bringing it to lay on his chest. You felt a stream of tears wet your scalp from above, which only prompted your sobbing further, your whole body shaking in his arms as you began to wail, you were glad Sarah had already left for school so she didn’t have to hear you.

He kissed your head and shushed you gently through your crying whilst your gripped his bicep. After 30 minutes you’d both exhausted yourselves and managed to calm down to an extent- you felt numb.

“C’mon darlin’, let’s get you to the hospital.” He helped you up and placed you at the edge of the bed whilst he packed you a small bag, filling it with anything he thought you might want but in reality he was clueless and not thinking straight. He took your place at the end of the bed whilst you brushed your teeth, holding his head in his hands and huffing out the air he’d been holding in for what felt like forever, only looking up when you mumbled his name.

He helped you clean yourself up and change before helping you into the truck. 

After what felt like an eternity in the hospital, with Joel never letting go of your hand once,   you were sent home with everything that you needed and ordered to go straight up to Sarah’s room to sleep so he could strip the bed and take the mattress to the tip before getting you both a new one. After trying your best to hide the sounds of your crying into Sarah’s pillow you hear Joel slip into the room. He toes off his shoes and slides into the small single bed next to you, pulling your head into his chest. 

“Did you go to the tip?” You sniffle.

“No, I couldn’t just leave you here like this, it can wait, I’ll ring Hayley’s mom and see if Sarah can stay over there tonight.” His arms tighten around you and his head rests on top of yours.

“I’ll be here until you fall asleep darling.”

When you wake Joel isn’t lying next to you. Your eyes are immediately drawn to the red numbers adorning Sarah’s bedside clock, 23:26 PM and year ears pick up the sound of two voices being carried up the stairs  your eyebrows naturally draw closer together. When you make your way into the living room Tommy’s sat on the couch with his back turned towards you, his head turning before his body when his ears pick up on the routine creak of the last few steps.

You try your best to assess the scene in front of you but before you can even count to 3 in your head Tommy’s stood in front of you, still, his frame isn’t big enough to block out the sight of the amber coloured bottles that are strewn over the coffee table and his presence definitely doesn’t do anything to block out the noise of Joel’s sobs.

“I’ve got this, you should get some-“ He starts but you’re quick to shut him down, you try your best not to snap but you can’t help it. You don’t know how to feel in this moment.

“Rest?” You finish his sentence and his hand comes to stroke at your arm.

“I’ll be outside.” Tommy knows you, knows that even if you went back up to bed you’d only be tossing and turning with worry, so he gives you your space. 

You want to be mad, mad that you woke up and he wasn’t there, mad that you feel like this is something else you have to deal with on top of what’s already happened today- why couldn’t he have just waited for the storm to blow over? But you can’t be mad at him because all of the rage and pain and tears are bubbling inside of you too and you’d give anything to let loose like he has but you just can’t, you’re too exhausted.

Instead, you just sink down in the leather next to him, he looks up at you with red, bleary eyes and the tears start to fall even harder than they were a second ago, he looks broken and that breaks you even more. His head rests on your chest whilst your gentle, soft hands stroke his face, trying your best to soothe him whilst staring up at the ceiling, forcing your own tears down, your eyes are still raw from earlier, they’re painful so you won’t let yourself. You allow your eyes to shut for some relief, brush the hair off his face and kiss his forehead.

“Let’s go to bed, hmm?” You mumble into his skin. He nods but reaches for the bottle sitting dangerously close to the edge of the table, your hand reaches it before his though.

“I’ll grab you some water.”

The next morning you sit out on the porch again, you don’t know how long has passed whilst you’ve sat cradling your stomach under the green blanket, only snapping back to reality when you notice Joel sit down on his porch. You sneak a glance at him but find that he is already looking at you and even from this distance, about 20 metres away, you can see the rings of red threatening to swallow his eyeballs.