#and my birthday is coming up in a few days amd that's just a huge reminder that I pissed my life away

[doedipus]

One of those days

[kyotakumrau]

2021.02.16 1st talk session of Meguro Rock-May-KanGIG at Zepp Yokohama

Zepp Yokohama is a such a nice venue, I really hope we will get to see dir play there live properly!

The concert recorded at Meguro RockMayKan was great! The setlist surprised me quite a lot (especially encore!!!)! And I think that was the smallest stage I ever saw dir on!😆 the footage definitely deserves a separate entry and I don't want to spoil anyone if they go to next events.

After the concert film screening staff quickly prepared the stage, bringing two long tables and four chairs, they also placed a water bottle at each seat.

Punctually (thank you for not repeating Nagoya's situation😆), at 3:30 Fujieda came on stage and started with greeting everyone, and asking us to greet the band members with applause.

After a moment of uncertainty (even as my heart was almost set it will be Kyo) Die came on stage with Kyo after him.٩( ˆoˆ  )۶

They both looked super classy. Die had a dark grey suit with a long jacket, his usual award winning hair and wore sunglasses.

Kyo had a black jacket (with a round Chanel pin) and shirt, green hair, he wore glasses (not sunglasses).

When they sat (Kyo stood in front of the chair first until Fujieda gestured them to sit) F asked them to introduce themselves.

D: ども、Dieです

K: 京です

...and then F announced 'today is Kyo's birthday!' and a birthday song melody began to play😆

Kyo turned on his murder face glaring at Fujieda who happily observed 'oh what's this song?'😂

The soft Happy Birthday melody got then a guitar joining in and Takabayashi came on the stage carrying a small strawberry shortcake (with a chocolate message おめでとう京さん) which of course he placed in front of Kyo.

We couldn't sing but we clapped.

Kyo snatched a strawberry and popped it in his mouth. He gestured 'throat slashing' looking at Fujieda😂

And then ate another strawberry🍓😂

F: the song was made by Die.

K: (only interested in the cake) Could I get a fork?

(staff went to get him one)

F: how do you feel? (about your own birthday)

K: I don't care.

The fork arrived and Kyo literally dug in right in the middle, scooping a huge piece he put whole in his mouth.

Fujieda wisely left Kyo to his cake then and started talking about RMK footage. Die said they had hard time deciding on a tour or events like this in COVID situation. They also mentioned the secret show in 2009 was held in RMK.

Next Die talked about how nice it was to rehearse and play together with the band, first time since March, he was happy about the show, creating sound together as 5 people.

F: did you finish eating K?

K: yup

(there was last 🍓 left (out of 4 big ones), he ate about 25~35%?)

F: then tell us about recording the RockMayKan show!

K: the place was very narrow.

F: anything else?

K: Not really.

But then he added more, that as it has been a while it felt like the first day of the tour.

F: was there anything that was difficult? Was a struggle?

K: when recording I can do it at my own pace, I can do one song when I want, but that day it was back to performing over 10 songs all at once, it was tough, hard on my throat, energy/stamina wise.

But at the same time it was exciting, meet with other members, play music together, that was nice.

F: 2019 was filled with shows, it was busy, then things changed. So after a break to see an audience again got me nervous, in a good way.

Next F said had would like to talk about the release of Oboro.

D: what do you want to know?

F: so the song is not out yet, any hints?

D: it's gonna stay a secret for a bit more.

F: the 2nd track is TDFF？

D: (interesting letters ???didn't catch exactly) it's a powerful song.

F: how is Oboro for you Kyo?

K: quite fresh/refreshing

F: really?!

D: especially the video

...but then Kyo just burst with a whole speech how Fujieda always ask something and when he gets an aswer he didn't expect he doesn't react well, just says what he wants, is not listening to what Kyo says and... it went for a while😆

Next F moved to the topic of the merchandise and asked the band members which items they like.

K: the big badge, before the big pick was huge, shouldn't the badge be like this size (showing about 20cm with his hands). It bothered me from when I saw it. Isn't it just normal?

in the end they agreed it's just 'a bit big' 😂

F: how about for you, D?

D: the rubber key chains?

F: they got sold out very quickly, sorry to fans about that.

D: they are cute. And I like the wristbands too. The color combinations are nice.

T: the badge has the old band's logo, it brings me back

D talked about old times when artists made stickers like that, with logos, to put on their equipment, they worked a bit like business cards, he said he still have some at home.

T picked the rechargeable heat pack.

K: so it's to be used instead of heat packs? (ホッカイロ)

F: uh, it's already warm.

D: huh? Show me? (F passed it to him) it's like a phone that gets hot when charging.

Next they moved on to fans questions. ("~~" is a question from fans they read)

K (unusually picks the first question super fast): "what's your favourite cake?"

K: Well, the strawberry shortcake is good, but this one doesn't have strawberries inside, just some jam, it should have strawberries inside too.

(F so dead😂😂😂)

F: "what's your best or bad memory connected to birthdays?"

K: at a concert somewhere, it was quite long time ago, I got a present all wrapped and in a bag from a silver accessories brand I liked, so nicely wrapped, I opened it and it was empty, isn't that really strange? I looked at the attached letter and it said the person is keeping the item for themselves. It annoyed me so much, the worst bd memory ever.

☹️

F: how about you D?

D: it's not exactly bad memory, but many band members have birthdays in February, in the past when we were still giving each other presents Toshiya and I had to think what to get for 3 people, it was always tough. We stopped that at some point.

T: "any memory/story about China Town?"

D: I like China Town

T: do you go often?

D: sometimes. But only to my favorite restaurants. (?? Talked more about the stadium?)

T: do you usually order the same thing?

D: Mabodofu, the spicy version

(then I think he said something like there's no point in overdoing spicyness, it's not healthy??)

K: I don't know which restaurants are good so I get annoyed. I don't know what decides it's a good one or not.

F: I don't go, but I'd like to.

then they talked about the types of Chinese food and food they tried when in other Asian countries.

K: when we were touring in the US I ordered Chinese abd it was terrible, it was all bad. The egg soup was all clumpy, so bad.

D: "any stories about RockMayKan?"

D: honestly I don't have good memories with this venue, when with a previous band we played together with more senior bands and they took over the dressing room, we couldn't use it, and we also had to greet all senpai musicians.

K: remember when Shinya sat on the lockers? Like on top of the 170cm lockers?

D: was it in Nagoya?

K: he's done his make up there, like a cat or something

D: Shinya climbed a locker and made a space for himself there

K: He's not exactly human. Normally you would not even consider climbing a locker...

D: we usually did our make up on the stairs, didn't use changing room. When we played at RMK as dir for the first time I saw 'this is the changing room!'

He also talked about how the hair spray used by all the bandomen would stink up the whole place 😂

F: "what do you usually wear to sleep?"

K: just underwear. Doesn't matter if it's summer or winter I want to feel the towel like fabric, I use towel cloth for my bedding, I want my whole body to feel it so there's no point in wearing pajamas.

D: at home...wait you mean my home or my family house? At my parents' I always wear the pajama my mum got me, currently the Mickey Mouse one. I only have that one there.

K( with sudden interest): can you draw it?

D: it's about this big, quite big print. The one I wear at home, it wasn't sent by my mum.

K: not Mickey one??

D:  that's Nightmare Before Christmas.

K: Disney theme?

D: this one has a face in the front.

K: do you change characters (for pajamas) every year?

D: this year it's Nightmare.

Next was something they wanted to say to F. K chose to comment on his haircut, because it's asymmetric K is bothered that it will end as an uzumaki in the back. They talked more about F's style.

F: "I'd like you to tell us about your costumes you wore for RMK show".

D: I wanted something motovating so red colour.

K: I had no special reasoning, just what I wanted to wear then.

D: "have you gotten any food delivery?"

He said he only got it once or not much, I think he said he's not fond of shops that don't do it properly, but when recording it's good???

F: Shinya said he orders Uber almost everyday.

K: I only got Uber once.

F: what did you get?

K: Burger King. I quit McDonalds. After eating Burger King I can't go back to McDonalds.

They talked about sizes of burger here?? Whooper versus Junior Whooper?

F: So McD is not good?

K: the meat taste is different. McDonald now tastes like trash.

F: what about the Mc fries, when they get a bit soft.

K: not only a bit. Gross.

D: in the US we usually also have some American staff, when we had some time and we went to eat out, it was funny, American staff went for sushi, Shinya went for McDonalds.

F: was it last time?

D: no, quite some time ago.

F: when did you eat McDonalds the last time?

D: I also don't eat it, it's been some time already.

They talked more about the food, some restaurants D liked in the US (didn't catch the name🙃 but in Sacramento?), then F talked more about event schedule and the time was over.

Last comments from the band members:

Die: From today the new series of film screening starts, thank you for coming to the first day. So well... the band is working on the new album while coming to the events at the same time, we're working on creating a great album. Please come amd enjoy the events.

Kyo: I don't have a special thing to say. Many of you will be coming to few or many events and will end up with many t-shirts, you can do whatever with them, even use them as a doormat, there are many ways to use them, no problem for the whole year.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Soulmate Au

Before you meet your soulmate you have to deal with a chibi version of them before actually meeting them. So can you handle it?

Reader's point of view

Dabi's perspective

You were anxious. Two years have passed since your 18 birthday... and your chibi didn't made any appearance or any living signal.

Ever since that you've been made fun of. Your parents tried to comfort you by that didn't meant they wouldn't dissapointed as well...

Now, settle in your new apartment, you huffed as you watched a nonconformist about two soulmates meeting eachother chibis evem before 18! You should be one of the unluckiest persons on the world or you didn't had a soulmate...

Getting up, you decided to turn on the stove to make yourself some noodles before your stomach decided to make his existence knowledgeable.

Heating the water up you sighed before you tensed at hearing the door cracking. Arching one euebrow and looking over your shoulder you shrugged before returning your attention to the stove amd screaming when you saw what was there.

It looked at you with bored turquoise eyes, underneath and almost half of its face had burnt marks. Slowly trying to reach for a wood spoon you had to at least defend yourself the little man just raised his tiny hand first and burned to ashes your spoon!

"Hey!" You shriek and it only smirked at you before dropping from the counter and putting his hands on his tiny jacket and walking towards the living room.

You blinked, not quite certain of what just happened before your mind clicked as you gasped in realization.

That was the chibi! Your chibi!

.

.

.

Your chibi was a quite handful one. He was always with that stoic face presented and neither tried to reach for your affection like most chibis would do... You were getting worried at it but slowly noticed that the chibi acted like that because your own soulmate had that personality.

"How lucky am I huh?" You sighed, resting your elbows on your legs and face on your hands as your chibi stared back at you with the same poker face as usual.

Although his activities and scars, you couldn't help but to find the chibi beautiful, giving you more and more wish to meet already the handsome man that was destined to be your soulmate.

"You are beautiful you know that?" You mumbled out loud and you giggled at the way the chibi's blue eyes widened before he scratched the back of neck, looking at his side to hide the faintest blush on the non scarred part of his cheek.

"Do... do chibis even eat?" You mused out loud and the chibi only stared back at you like you were an idiot. You gulped before listening to the sound of the water boiling and getting ready to make your noodles.

Whem you came back with a bowl your chibi suddenly squeaked. It was kinda rough and scratch type of squeak but adorable no less.

"You want it?" You offered a bit in your chopper sticks, blowing them a bit before feeding the chibi.

It finally smiled at you! A true kind of smile, not a sick or scary smirk he showed to you later!

It was a first step!

.

.

.

Days passed by and the little fire blue ball warmed up to you. You, not knowing what else to name, decided to just refer at him like fireball sue to the obvious show of his quirk.

He always prefered to remain on your lap and on walk just sitting on your shoulder chilling. If anyone even dared to come closer you had to be carefull with your hair because the little shit immeditaly put his own little hand on fire.

Always after that you could smell the burnt of his skin. Frowning at it you cupped the chibi on your hands and kissed his hands. He didn't mind it all but as always the quiet chibi he was, didn't let out one single squeak.

"You know, I am grateful for you protecting me, but if it hurts you please dont do it, I dont want my soulmate suffering." You smiled gently at him which he only shrugged before carresing your cheek with his smaller hand.

You put him back on his shoulder and continue to walk before you stopped at the huge amount of people surrounding at least three heroes. You smiled at the childs asking for autographs before you sense it your chibi getting tense kn your shoulder when both of you spotted the current number one hero. Endeavour.

You looked at him and found him looking down at his hands.

"Not a fan of heroes fireball?" You asked gently before gasping at how he scotted over to cuddle ok your neck, burying his little face on it as you tried to cuddle him back on the best way you could. "Let's go home. Is better when is just the two of us right?" You asked with a kind smile as he only nodded in your shoulder.

.

.

.

You were watching the news as your chibi took a nap in your lap, gently snores letting go of his tiny mouth as the reporter spoke. Suddenly it came the news of the most ranked villains...

Widening your eyes you saw a familiar man controling blue flames on the attack of the camping from the U.A school. Shakily looking down and up none of it could hid it... Your soulmate was a villain. A rank B fucking villain called Dabi.

Before you could react you suddenly felt a huge pain on your arm. Clenching you pet out a painful scream, making your chibi shriek in your lap before you dropped in the ground, tears gathering in your eyes as the pain suddenly changed from your arm to your back.

Curling up on the ground, whinning when the pain suddenly eased a bit you opened your eyes to see and hear your chibi, wide eyes and even the mint stables of his cheek and eyes to go off as his squeaks echoed in worry.

Whatever it was you felt... it wasn't your soulmate. If it was the chibi wouldn't be on this state...

"I-I'm fine... I g-guess I just need to go to the hospital to check my arm..." the chibi frowned and hugged your hand when you got up amd you smiled.

For a villain this man was surely an affectionate and touchy one...

.

.

.

"A fractured arm?" You whispered as your chibi remained hidden on your hoodie.

"Sadly. Wear this sling for a few days and it should be okay, you're lucky! It almost broke." You gulped as you got out of the office only for your chibi to pop out from your hoodie and squeak.

"Is just a fracture arm fireball." You smiled at him "I will live!"

The chibi frowned at you, clearly not believing you before hiis eyes went wide as his whole little body trembled in your shoulder.

"Are you okay? Sweety?" You cupped him on your hand before he squeaked, shaking your finger and looking at your front. He started to squeak more and more loudly as you.

"W-Wait-!" You almost panicked when he jumped from your hand and only gave a tiny little tug on you before running off. Running after him you bumped into a few nurses, apologizing profusely.

"HEY! YOU WILL HURT YOURSELF!" You screamed before bumping into a hoodie masked man and falling on the ground.

You clenched with your free hand the side of your face before looking at the pair of chibis hugging eachother like their life depended on it... You widened your eyes at practically seing you there, blushing crinsom red when fireball carresed your chibi version cheek lovingly.

On their side was a sunglass as you curiously picked, a half scarred hand grabbed on yours as well before you locked your gaze with turquoise surprised eyes.

"Oh!" You retreaded your hand immediately with blushing cheeks. He retreaded his hand a bit to look around and get up hurriedly.

"Here." He offered his hand to help you up, he lifted you up and you got chest to chest with him as he admired you "We wouldn't want any other person to see us."

"I-I sure." You nodded following him to a more secluded place, your chibis trailing after you both.

On a dark alley, you waited for him to say another word. Staring at his back expectantly...

"You arent dumb. You know already who I am and what do I look like-" he turned to you, shoving his hood down to show you his face, the most beautiful and handsome face you've been dying to see "Right? Dollface?"

Not mindful of your blush, you took one more step closer to him before hesitantly cupping his face with your good hand. Not noticing how he frowned at your sling, a quite too remorseful face.

"You're the most beautiful man I ever saw... You know how much I've been waiting to see you?" You almost gasped in your words as his face slightly soften on a charming smirk as he hold onto your wrist.

"So my idea worked on coming to the hospital... Would it be bad if I stole a kiss from my soulmate then?"

You blushed even harder before both of you turned your head at hearing your chibi version squeak as Dabi's chibi hugged it close and already stole a kiss from them.

"Well, the little shit did over there, so I guess I can"

Before you could even say something you felt half chapped and scarred lips on yours as you melted in his arms, almost like he had used his quirk to leave the atmosphere hot enough.

[steeltoss]

Pre Shippuden — Shippuden Era

Ages 16 - 22. This is a continuation of the events in Hokkaido's life.

Age 16

I left off on her six month mission in Konohagakure. Backtracking a few months before she turned sixteen, she worked directly under Tsunade Senju amd had slowly reconnected with her old friends, including Neji Hyūga, Kiba Inuzuka, Ino Yamanaka, Sakura Haruno, Shikamaru Nara, and Choji Akamichi.

That being said, her sixteenth birthday was spent in the Hidden Leaf. The party was small and planned by Ino, complete with a few cupcakes and dango. This was the first birthday she enjoyed after Emi passed away.

Speaking of Emi, Hokkaido constantly worried over Ichika and often wrote letters to the younger one. After all, next year Ichika would start the Amegakure Academy.

Aside from her mission, nothing too big happened this year. Though she found out Sasuke was missing. He had become a Rogue Ninja. Okay that's pretty big but still.

Age 17

Upon her journey towards Amegakure after the six months had passed, the Kunoichi had taken it into her own hands to search for Sasuke. She strayed off the path she should have been taking to go to the Hidden Rain Village.

From here, she runs into some nasty company.

This was the first time she met Pein and Konan. And they looked like they were ready to end her.

Upon activating her sharingan, interest was sparked in her by Pein. She was spared on one condition. Well a few, but one big one.

She was to join the Akatsuki, accept the Rogue life and abandon her old life. This would mean abandoning the Hidden Rain and Ichika.

But on the other hand, maybe she could find Sasuke. She had no clue just how wrong she was. But she agreed nonetheless.

So she was taken back to the base, fron there, she met the other members.

Okay don't kill me but here's what happens when she first meets the Akatsuki: [her opinion and relationships will change over time]

Pein: Of course when they first met, she was intimidated and activated her sharingan, but being spared and hopefully brought closer to her brother, she would do anything he asked, for now at least.

Konan: Seeing her special skills, Hokkaido was intimidated but wouldn't admit so. She seems to be the only female here.

Deidara: I'm sorry Dei, but my little angel thought you were a very beautiful lady until you spoke the first time. Needless to say, she was rather shocked but admired his hair and explosives anyway.

Kakuzu: one word. Fear. This man is huge and crazy tall, also his personality reminds her of what its like to bite into a crabapple.

Hidan: she admired his dedication, but didn't like how he greeted her with “Fuck, there's another one? At least this one has a decent rack”. She punched him. And threatened his life only to find out he's immortal.

Tobi: well, he's very hyper and welcoming at least, but she wondered why he wore that mask.

Kisame: is he a man? Shark? Man-Shark? Either way, she kept a distance and admired his strength from afar.

Sasori: puppets are completely and utterly horrifying and she wanted nothing to do with this weird puppet man. Until she saw how red his hair was and her cheeks dusted a pale pink. It reminded her of someone she met a few years ago.

Itachi: . . . Her brother. Her brother, who had killed the clan was in the Akatsuki. Upon seeing him, she wondered if it was too late to leave the Akatsuki. She rurned her nose away and sighed.

Zetsu: “are you a. . . Big, adorable plant man?” i think it's safe to say Zetsu stared at her and quite possibly closed his trap around himself to save himself the embarrassment or black Zetsu threatening to eat her.

Back to Age 17

Sasuke wasn't with them, and she felt like shutting down completely. She was now at square one again. She had hoped this was her ticket to helping her brother, but ahe didnt know he didn't want help.

And honestly, you can't help someone who doesn't want any help.

Aside from her mind overworking, she now had to face Itachi as he was staring her down.

“hey, Itachi... ”

From there, the two walked around as he explained what really happened that day. She was torn. The Leaf had ordered this massacre?

Maybe she wasn't ready to go home after all.

Age 18

On her eighteenth birthday, she had spent her very first one with Itachi in nine years, and she oncr again, was crying those sappy happy little tears.

She never really expected a group of terrorists to the villages to get her gifts, yet they had.

Konan had gotten her a pair of fingerless gloves; Hokkaido appreciated the gesture because her hands were usually cold and Konan usually got things she needed or wanted anyway as the two had become closer.

Kisame had given her her very first katana, which, she undeniably adored the gesture; and she was extremely pink cheeked, she wasn't in love with him but she really liked his caring and understanding attitude.

Tobi had gotten her a mask to match his, which she never would wear; instead, she retaliated with offering to share dango with him instead. Which results in him squealing.

Sasori had claimed he didn't give a damn about things she wanted but still placed a small wooden figure of well, GAARA, in front of her; which led to the idea he had read her diary and had fully embarrassed her. But this little figure was different. Gaara was dressed as the Kazekage.

Deidara had picked her up some paint; remembering she hsd spent endless nights she couldn't sleep to paint her ceilinv and walls, and was out of it.

Zetsu uh, well, gave her a few seeds for flowers. It was for a joke since he figured she would never use them, but she held o to them. Just wait. These gifts will be brought up later.

Kakuzu, and i can't stress this enough, didn't do shit.

Hidan, on the other hand, tried offering immortality if she converted to jashinism.

Itachi had saved his for last. He had gotten her a journal and pens, as well as her stuffed panda from Amegakure.

A part of being an official member of the Akatsuki meant missions. And she had completed several, but what made her panic would be the one where the hunt for Jinchuuriki began.

It was a silent battle with herself. She had already dedicated herself to the Akatsuki but she knew two Jinchuuriki. Gaara and Naruto.

The day Gaara's One Tail was extracted, she covered her mouth upon hearing those certain words.

“He's dead”.

As if she had been hoping her life wouldn't get worse, she had already made up her mind. She really, really despised Deidara now. And she knew she would be killed if she straight up abandoned post.

However, on her next solo mission, she managed to leave a scroll for the Hokage and wanted word passed silently between the Five Kage's. She was playing both sides as of now, but desperately wanted out.

Would they believe her?

No. Not yet at least.

Age 19

Silence. She had succumbed herself with silence, almost like a vow she had taken. Deidara, Sasori, they were dead and war was coming.

She promised herself she would hate Deidara for what he did to Gaara, but she couldn't help but feel pity. Deidara was only a teenager when he died. [I think he was nineteen?]

With the Fourth Shinobi War coming, she was scared. Having no idea what to even do, Hokkaido assumed she would die.

Because I'm a lil bitch, I'm making you wait until she turns 20 for more details.

Age 20

The Akatsuki was no more. Almost all had died, and Hokkaido felt a slight empty feeling in her heart as she sat in front of the Five Kage's.

This was judgement. Would she be allowed to repent and become a better person or be banished forever, or die? Her mind was going wild.

Though, she couldn't help the feeling of ease as she saw Gaara, the Kazekage and boy she used to know, standing and perfectly fine.

“During the time of my extraction, I could see she wanted nothing to do with the Akatsuki organization. She looked almost forced to be there”.

The words Gaara spoke made her face turn pink and look away. Why was he trying to help her when she had fallen into the wrong group of people?

As if she hadn't already felt like she had succumbed herself in a repetitive cycle of falling for Gaara each day she thought about it, him helping her only dragged her deeper into the pit.

And Kami, he was so beautiful.

“and I'd like to offer that if you don't trust her, that's fine. She can return to Suna with me and Kankurō. She can build herself from there”.

So she moves to Suna and begins working on herself as a person, much of the things she had thought about was the very questions Gaara had asked along the way.

“why help me?” she had asked, the gaze he gave her was hard but he responded with: “you aren't the only one who was in the wrong. It would be wrong of anyone to not let you change yourself. I was given a chance and was once feared and hated, so can you answer this for me, do you wamt to live? Do you want to start a new beginning? If so, keep walking with us”.

And so she walked.

Age 21

Life in Suna was much different than the Hidden Rain or Leaf. Not many people would contact her or look her way for the first few days. After all she was an outsider and reformed terrorist.

Hokkaido had grown close to Temari once more, as well as Kankurō. These two, when free, helped her with the adjustment.

Hokkaido had left Amegakure behind, the ache in her heart subsiding as she realized Ichika had grown into a decent young child and chose to not become a shinobi, considering shinobi had too many hardships and heartaches to deal with.

As for Gaara, the two often spent time gardening and cultivating cacti.

Something from the past had finally been planted. The flower seeds Zetsu had given her way back on her birthday spent with the Akatsuki.

The katana that Kisame had given her was placed on a display.

Her Traditional Japanese Sword Display

The katana which is the most recognized full sized samurai sword and is often the first piece in any collection. It sits at the bottom and has a beautiful violet ito handle wrap.

The second would be the wakizashi which is a mid-sized sword that resembles the katana and the ito handle wrap was midnight blue.

Then the third which is a tanto. The tanto is the shortest of the swords or in many examples can be as short as today's standard survival styled knife. The ito wrap is black.

This is an example of how the stand is:

Age 21

The mask Tobi had given her had brought up bitter memories and had long sense been tossed into a storage box.

Her fingerless gloves had been destroyed during the war, but since she used them for swordplay, Temari had gotten her a new pair as a gift.

The wooden figure Sasori had given her of Gaara was more or less embarassing since she lived with the sand siblings and had hidden it away in the storage box.

Her panda sat on her bed, displayed and untouched except for during the night.

Age 22

Upon the next year, Hokkaido watched as relationships blossomed between many people, marriages and children coming into the world, she began wondering if she would ever have something like this in her own life. She highly doubted it.

Having been back and forth from Konohagakure, she grew closer to Shikamaru once more from childhood as she often joined the male and Temari on days they'd spend time together.

Other times, Hokkaido would stick to Kankurō and help with making puppets, she rather enjoyed painting them.

And occasionally, when Gaara was free, the two would still garden together and had began talking more, sometimes the two would even go out to the village and walk around together.

Her feelings for Gaara seemed to only hrow stronger as she had grown older, and she imagined herself having a future with him. It always made her heart hammer and her face turn blood red.

This year, she had cut most of her hair off to her shoulders as it had grown too long. She soon admits her feelings to Gaara, unsurprisingly, he was silent.

She most definitely assumed she blew it, but nearly a week later, Gaara had shyly asked if she would allow him to court her.

This was most definitely the beginning of a new and beautiful relationship.

I'll pick up with pre boruto - boruto era soon. Though im not sure if these are even good. @temarihime @thefifthkazekage @how-troublesome @houndninja

[ficsandpieces]

Today is my birthday!! And it was a great surprise to see your post I adore your writing and they way you do your Papa QN posts. I was wondering if could get scenarious for the boys planning for their kids and/or s/o birthdays??? Or maybe cute fluff of their s/o amd kid surprising them on their own birthday :D

This is way way WAY overdue and I’m so glad I managed to wish you a happy birthday before this, Anon!

(I only covered the boys celebrating their children's’ first birthdays here, but here’s an idea for you Anon: please feel free to request them celebrating their S/O’s birthday or being surprised on their special days the next time I open for prompts. ;D)

* * *

Papa!Camus:

Brought his S/O and daughter back to Permafrost for his little girl’s first birthday

This would also be the first of many trips to what would be her second home

Had a family portrait done in the same hall where his wedding was held

Like Reiji, he had two parties to celebrate his angel blessing the earth with her existence

One party was for the other Permafrost aristocrats out of social obligation

His little girl never left his arms during the ball he held

Camus refused to let his daughter be drawn into the politics of aristocracy and simply whisked her away with excuses each time a guest gave even a hint of involving him in them

The second birthday party was a surprisingly simple and private gathering with just himself, his S/O and his daughter on his girl’s actual birthday 

Personally baked her a most magnificent birthday cake

Showered his little girl with presents

Created a tiny little tiara for her with his ice magic, as well as other jewelry

(As the years go by Camus would continue to craft jewelry and other accessories for his little girl 

Papa’s hand-crafted jewelry would always remain her favorite, no matter how old she got)

Would have even sewed her birthday gown by hand if his schedule had allowed it

(Manager-san had had to squeeze the life out of Camus’ schedule in order to fit in the week-long break he took to fly off, therefore making it nigh impossible for Camus to go home, let alone have time to sew his daughter’s dress before her birthday

Camus was incensed but Manager-san put his foot down and stood brave in the face of the ice king’s wrath)

papa!Ai:

Attempted to interview his son to find out how he wanted to celebrate his first birthday 

Unsurprisingly, did not manage to gather much information due to his precocious toddler’s limited vocabulary

It was just him and his S/O for his boy’s first birthday, but as his son grew older Ai learned to invite his neighbours and the other QN kiddies

Ai would prefer his son to interact with others as much as possible

Did his homework on kid-friendly party foods

Even went so far as to introduce exotic foods 

Coaxed his son into trying everything

Fortunately, baby inherited Ai’s tastebuds so everything works for him

Baked the birthday cake himself

Did up a mini-light show in the living room to the wonder and applause of his toddler and the guests

For his son’s first birthday, Ai tried to impress on his little boy that it was supposed to be a special day for him, but baby seemed to have gotten it the other way around and ended up toddling after Ai for the entire day

Ai finally gave in, picked up his boy and perched him on his arm or in his lap for the rest of the day

“It’s strange you would want to spend your birthday following me around. While I understand that you’re at the stage where you’re naturally taking in as much information as you’re able to in order to grow, your preferences are still a mystery to me. Is what I do that interesting to you?”

“Ai!”

“Didn’t I just hug you seven and a half minutes ago? Oh well. I suppose spoiling you for today isn’t such a bad thing.”

Baby received his first tablet for his birthday

Ai loaded it up with educational games and a gallery of family photographs

His son could spend hours just swiping through the photos, proudly pointing and going “Mommy! Daddy!” 

Ai would have preferred his boy to utilise the learning programs on the tablet more, but the warmth that spread through his chest each time his boy beamed up at him while showing him yet another photograph with the three of them together always pushed that thought away for another day

papa!Reiji:

Handed out invitations to the party a month in advance

Requested RSVPs on the spot, following the receiver around with his best puppy dog eyes until they gave in

Two parties for his babies: one for the Shining Agency staff and friends before the actual day, the other smaller and much more private for family held at the twins favorite place

Personally shopped for matching clothes, shoes, accessories for all four of them

The twins may be the stars of the party, but Mommy and Daddy won’t be losing out to them when it comes to style! It’s a family affair after all!

Started cooking up a storm the day before the first party

Tried doing everything himself for the main party, but just as he was about to fall over and collapse from juggling both his demanding work schedule and party prep Manager-san appeared at his doorstep like a dark angel in a business suit, arms folded, glasses glinting with determination, the rest of QN behind him

Seeing the state of their clothes, the other three members of QN were obviously brought there against their will

(“COME! Many hands make light work!”)

Manager-san, after shooting subtle projectiles at Reiji from afar to wake him up after catching him falling asleep during an interview for the umpteenth time, finally decided to take things into his hands and get the thing that’s been running Reiji haggard over with once and for all

Manager-san is a one-man decorating crew and coordinator, putting his charges to work in the most effective way

Reiji almost wept with joy, the dark circles under his eyes visibly lightening as he saw Manager-san in a completely new light

Manager-san was now an angel sent from above to reach out a benevolent helping hand to him

An angel with a disturbingly ominous aura and prone to flicking him on the forehead to get him to pay attention, but still heaven-sent nonetheless

Camus, declaring this sort of thing was beneath him, was about to leave when he caught sight of the dessert menu

Practically threw another fit at Reiji for having the audacity to expect him to attend and yet present such substandard food

Reworked the entire menu

Ranmaru did the same for the main meal, elbowing Reiji out of the way

Ai ended up being enlisted by Camus to help him correct the sweets disaster

Reiji following around whoever happened to catch his eye, giving pointers on how things should be

Until Manager-san and Reiji’s S/O each took hold of one of his elbows, guided him out of the main battlezone of party prep and into the bedroom, dropped his twin babies on his chest to anchor him to the bed before firmly closing the door behind them and going back to work

Insisted on carrying around both his babies for the entire duration of the main party

Babies had changes of clothes for each segment of the party, as did Mommy and Daddy

With all the bigwigs and hotshots who attended their party, this was also how the Kotobuki twins got their first foothold in the entertainment industry

(Advertisements and other job offers for his kids poured in after that party, but Reiji sieved through them by holding up the script books to his twins and seeing their reactions to it

Five of them got pushed away to the side

Two of them got chewed on

Another three got sat on by baby bums

The last one got ripped open and torn apart with much vigour before his S/O stepped in and tactfully told Reiji that perhaps their children might not be the best judge of what jobs they’d like to take on just yet)

The private family-only party at Kotobuki Diner was held on the actual birthday

Babies were showered with lots of presents and kisses from both Granny and Auntie and the rest of the extended family from both the Kotobukis and Reiji’s S/O side

It was noisy but relaxing and wonderfully cosy

The lights were kept on at the diner until late, when both Reiji and his S/O each carried a sleeping baby home

Subsequent birthdays were bigger and flashier, but for Reiji his children’s first birthday was one of the warmest memories he held in his heart

Reiji’s first birthday gift to his babies was one maracas to each of them from his very first pair

His own father had given them to him on a whim as a novelty souvenir, with no idea they would become such a deeply rooted part of Reiji’s life and personality

Papa!Ranmaru:

As mentioned before, his son was born when Quartet Night was first formed and still getting their feet wet in the business

His schedule was beyond hectic

There wasn’t a man more torn between his priorities when QN had to live together for group bonding within the first few months of the group forming

Had to sneak out of the house via the window to get back home for his son’s first birthday

It was way past baby’s bedtime by the time Ranmaru came through the door, panting in exhaustion

Ranmaru only got to spend fifteen minutes or so holding his sleeping boy in his arms before he had to leave again to avoid rousing suspicion

Manager-san had caught on that someone in the group was sneaking out at night 

Visions of bad press danced across his paranoid mind and thus the upping of his vigilance over his charges

His son woke up the next morning to a huge teddy bear next to him in bed

The bear being so much bigger than him, Ranmaru’s son spent the next year or so happily being engulfed by it each time he slept

Ranmaru’s heart always came THIS close to melting every time he managed to go home and his son came up to him with the giant teddy in tow

(It was a miracle that Ranmaru even managed to smuggle that bear in and out of the shared house to begin with

He only pushed through that time by convincing himself that if he could get through that phase of his life then everything else after that was nothing)

Ranmaru’s daughter had her first birthday on the same day QN kicked off an international tour

His flight was during the small hours of the morning, so Ranmaru was pleasantly surprised when his son and daughter came out to see him off just as he was about to leave 

Ranmaru had a strange sense of deja vu when his S/O placed his drowsy daughter in his arms to hold before he went off 

The feeling of holding a small, warm life was something he’d never be able to forget

It was a long time before he handed his daughter back to his S/O

His S/O would always keep in her heart the look Ranmaru had on his face when he pressed a giant plushie into his little girl’s arms and she wrapped her arms around it in her sleep

Good thing the flight lasted almost a day because that was how much time Ranmaru needed to get his emotions back in check for work

The Kurosaki family somehow end up with the whimsical family tradition of always eating birthday cake weeks after the actual birthday, due to Ranmaru’s schedule which almost never lined up with his family’s birthdays

(The rest of QN had the same problem, but while Ranmaru and Ai simply rolled with it and did the best they could to get home in time Reiji would come up with the most outrageous excuse he could to hop into his car and speed home to be with his babies

Camus simply intimidated the staff to reschedule through sheer force of will and leave the venue, flicking his hair in scorn at Manager-san’s incompetence in scheduling)

As mentioned, Ranmaru’s first gift to his son was the largest version of his own childhood teddy bear he could find

His daughter’s first birthday present was a huge Prince Cat Granata which was bigger than her and actually a sample prototype that never made it to the public market

Ranmaru came upon it by chance when Manager-san dropped the initial sales pitch for it on the floor and he picked it up

He would have gotten one for his son too, but it had been hard enough getting the R&D team to give him even one of them

Extra:

Due to Ranmaru having to both hide and juggle his son’s existence and his career at the same time, he and his boy had a bit of distance between them during the first four years of his son’s life

However, when his boy was older his mother showed him a screen cap of a post Ranmaru made on his son’s first birthday, in the wee hours of the morning after he had safely made his way back to the shared house:

“You changed my life. No regrets.”

[psychomxncy]

How Jasper came to be a Ghost.

When the man was alive he worked as a tax collecter for a small firm run by the mafia of their city. Everyone knew but no one said anything because they ran a decently legit buisness.

Jasper had been working his ass off taking any and all extra hours he could. Working extra gigs with he and his band mates even. Just anything he could do to earn some extra money. Why? Jasper was proposing to his girlfriend of five years. He proposed to her the morning before he left for what would be his final day of work.

He got to work and did his duty as usual. By the end of his shift hed been told he was getting a promotion. Jasper was so excited to know he was going to be making more, that meant he could support his new wife even better. He and his last client were walking out the door of his second story office when gunfire exploded into the night.

Bullets flew and five shots took the aspiring musician and newly promoted and engaged young man down. His body tumbling down the stairs. It hit the ground with a wet thud.

When the gunsmoke and fog cleared out a bit a score of cursing filled the air. Theyd killed the wrong man. Checking notes they realized their target had been on the third floor of that building. Not the seconed. This man was an innocent bystander, now just a bleeding stain of red and purple on the pavement. The men took off as quick as they could and jasper stood there, over his own dead body.

He was in shock. How could he be dead and yet not? What was happening. Someone screamed, the client he had been with. A young woman. Now a crowd was gathering, someone was trying to stop the bleeding and revive him but to no avail. Cops showed up, sirens blaring and lights flashing. Then forensic crews, coroners with the ambulance. And before he knew it he was sitting atop his own corpse as they drove.

They held a funeral for him. The whole damn company showed up, his fiance, band mates and some fans. The place was packed with life for the one dead young man. He watched them come and go. Then his corpse was cremated, his ashes mixed in with plant food and his body was burried in the yard of the home he and his lover had once shared. She planted an avacado tree. Jasper had loved avacados when he was alive and had always talked about wanting to grow his own tree.

She sat there every night and told the tree about her day. She mourned her lost love. It broke Jaspers heart to watch her suffer. So he decided to help her move on. He showed up in the middle of the night, roused his lover from her sleep and told her all about how he loved her and wanted her to be happy and love again. They cried together. But agreed it was for the best.

Five years later she met another man, five more after that he asked her to marry him with the very ring jasper had bought for her. He said he wanted to keep jasper alive, to immortilize the love hed had and pay him respect, but that now the ring would symbolize both of their love for the woman.

Jaspers heart broke agAin and he weeped. He couldnt have asked for his love to marry a better man.

They married and over the next ten years had three beautiful children. Jasper staying around to watch them, make sure they were safe, becoming each childs imaginary friend. The spikey haired buisness man. He watched them grow into adults. Watched his love grow old and retire happily with the man shed married. The kids brought home kids of their own and he was those childrens friend too.

Jasper decided to see what had become of the place he had once worked and where he had lost his life. The ground was stained with his blood, plants cropped up in the odd cracks. Ghosts of all sorts lingered and wailed, floating aimlessly. And a pair of young adults around his age wandered around. The woman was average height, dark skinned from time in the sun. Her eyes were green and full of life. She had dark raven hair, and a bright skeleton print hoodie on with just as bright skeleton print pants. A purple and old pendant hung around her neck. The man was..damn. He was huge. Seven feet at least, pale as the moon and had a very gothic style about him. He wore dark clothes, some band decorated his shirt. One Jasper had never heard of. The two giggled like children as they wandered around holding hands. The woman called out.

“Oh violet! Where have you gone little bat!”

And out came a reply, a girl no older than three cane scream laughing out from his old desk, something clutcjed in her tiny pale fist.

“Mommy! Mommy! Pretty hand! Look!!!look!!!” She held her prize aloft and jasper couldnt believe his eyes. It was the pin hed lost the day before hed passed. It was a purple claw like hand.

The man scooped the girl up and the woman looked at the pin.

“Wow, it looks old and yet brand new. It must have been wedged somewhere safe this whole time. Oh look! It has an inscription. To my dearest love, Jasper.”

“Whose jasper mommy?”

“Dunno.”

“Maybe he knows?” The girl pointed right at him, his eyes widened. The parents of the girl turned and stared at him.

The man smiled kindly. His voice was soft. “You seem surprised, are you Jasper? Or are you surprised we can see you?”

Jaspers mouth dropped and he sputtered like a dead fish for a good few moments.

“B-both! How can, how did, woah.” Japser sat down while the couple explained who they were and why they could see and speak to the dead. The girl just giggled and ran around chanting his name and declaring him her big brother.

They were spiritually intuned to the preternatural world. Wiccans, goths, and descendants of powerful magicians, witches and wizards. What a family. Jasper eyed the small girl who was bouncing at his feet and making grabby hands. He stooped down amd she touched him. But..how? He cried and leaned into her soft and warm little hands.

He agreed to be her big brother, and as her big brother he gave her the pin he wore on his lapel. She never took the damn thing off. She always made sure to put it on her clothes and keep it clasped tight. He watched her grow and was glad to be able to be seen by more than just the girl. He talked endlessly with the parents about the state of the world and the advancements in tech.

Three years had gone by and it was the girls sixth birthday. Her mother gifted her the necklace she always wore. And sent the girl to bed. Jasper floated above her bed and watched her sleep peacefully. But that peace didnt last.

Smoke came creeping under her door. He rushed into the rest of the house and saw it ablzae. A horrid creature standing among the flames, laughing. He had to save them. To save the child. The beast grew closer to her room and Jasper panicked.

He zipped into her room, tossed books from her shelves and woke her. She grabbed the pin and mecklace and climbed out her window, dashing to the front of the house with jasper. And well, you know the rest.

She wanders off to his workplace, meets another friendly spirit named puff. They try to raise her but cant since they are dead. She goes to the hospital, then the orphanadge, then gets adopted and flown to japan to live with the Spectras. Another goth and ghost loving clan of preternaturally inclined magicial folks. From there he, spook, puff and the rest of the spectras helped and watched their new member grow into a beautiful and kind young woman with a damaged heart and shy nature.

[boondockerblog]

Day 22, 23 - Bear Island (Big Cypress National Preserve)

Can I tell you just how much we enjoyed seeing the sauntering side profile of an 8 ft long alligator - from a distance of 20 ft. Key phrase being "side profile". Full disclosure - we didn't stop and take this pic (it came from the internet). In fact my running watch shows extra speed for 5 min about that point in the run!

On our way out to run we saw a Jeep causing Maddie to stop dead in her tracks (like the moon men from Day 7). I told the woman Maddie probably thought her car was a huge animal. When we came back down the road we found her at the map by a gate to an ORV trail. She couldn't get the gate unlocked and after some fun conversation about the bear she once saw up close and personal, the alligator I just saw and all the wild animals she came here to see (she'd been told that this particular ORV trail had spectacular scenery and wildlife), she introduced herself as Sobe. And, that she was here for quiet rest from her nursing job on her 50th birthday.

But before she could enjoy the animals and the quiet she would have to go back to the visitor's center to find out why she couldn't get the gate open. In all of this we talked about how we'd love to stay here for longer if we weren't going to run out of water soon. She offered us her 6 gallons saying she'd just refill near the visitor's center. I said, oh yes please!

When she came to find us to deliver water she asked if she could pitch her tent near us later at night because she felt so comfortable with us. She was lovely, had a wonderful time both days on all day trail rides and brought us back pictures and pictures of deer and alligators and birds of all kinds. Thank you Sobe for sharing your water, your birthday amd your love of quiet nature with us.

We've be walking every late afternoon before dinner like we did on the 2019 trip. This week the first few days were the 2.2 km to the end of the Bear Island 1 lane road. We decided to take a look at what was the other way - likely more ORV trails. To our amazement it was about 20 cozy pull-offs meant for 1, or sometimes 2, camping parties. Some had good sized open areas, a few you'd be surrounded up close with bushes. This was so different than the big open area we have been in! It was like a new place! This caused us to talk about getting the heavy battery cable in Naples and coming back for another week (down the 90 minute gravel road).

Tonight got cool so we had a lovely fire using dried palm fronds - just the long stick part that attached to the tree.

Oh - we went back to those cozy sites the next late afternoon and picked a couple that could work. It was to rain for the whole night and a good part of the next day, including high winds, so we decided we'd go get the cable and water, etc and come back to one of those sites!

[vallkyr]

Soft Q&A

I was tagged by @youlooklikeabrian thanks! 💕

Rules: Answer the soft Q+A’s and tag 5 of your most recent followers and 3 of your biggest fans

What's the smell of your shampoo?

I have no idea? It only says on the bottle that it's with amla oil so I guess that's it? I have absolutely no idea what amla oil smells like outside of shampoo.

What's your aesthetic?

I honestly have no idea because for once I love leather jackets, tattoos and piercings to some extent but I'm also a sucker for cute and fluffy stuff but also my apartment consists of mostly plain white furniture while I usually like really bright and colourful things? I'm a complex creature.

What's your favourite time of the day and why?

Late evening to night I guess because at home that's my time to chill in front of the TV with my parents and write fanfics. For some reason I'm most creative during times when I'm supposed to be asleep. Now that I moved out the evening is the time when I meet up with my friends because we try to cook dinner together whenever possible and afterwards we sit together and play games (it used to be Uno but lately we're getting into Poker) so yeah it's just a really nice time when I get to be with people I love and do things I like.

What do you like most about the beach?

I really enjoy just lying on the beach, underneath a sunshade and reading. I also like swimming but I kind of have a problem with the "things" in the water, I don't like getting too close to fish or touching plants floating around and such. As nice as the water may be I never really get used to that part.

What do you worry about constanly?

Not doing enough. I always feel like I'm not studying enough, back in school as well as now that I'm at university. I want to do more but when I have time for it I can never get myself to study and it always makes me feel like shit when I'm in lecture and notice how much I lack. It's the same when it comes to creating content. I have tons of unfonished fanfics and even more ideas that I haven't even touched beyond the usual planning and I'm so sorry about that. I wanted to do more after graduating but I kind of had a down at that time and didn't write anything for ages. Same goes for drawing, I love drawing, I have ideas and I want to do it but I just don't. What I do is scribbling stuff on the sides of my notes during lectures. I can never seem to channel my inspiration and motivation into actual productivity.

What's a song you've cried to before?

The ones I remember most are First love and The last. It might be because both songs remind me of a sort of fanfic idea I have, or more of an OC and his backstory. But also Yoongi's rap just really gets to me?! He pours his entire heart into it and you can just feel the emotions inside of him and just djsnklsf so yeah. I love those songs and I have definitely cried at least once listening to them.

What are some relaxing tips for your followers?

It really depends on the situation? For general relaxing I like to draw and listen to music but in stress situations I guess the classical stuff like taking deep breaths, drinking some water, I also tent to ball my hand to a fist and dig my nails into the heel of my hand to distract myself from what is "stressing" me (that's mostly when my phobia kicks in, we'll get to that later)

What are some things that make you tear up?

I really can't think of anything on the spot. I sometimes cry during really emotional scenes in movies?

What is your favourite from each sense?

Seeing: I have no idea, I love a lot of things? For example flowers or bright colourful things, I really like teal. I also have a thing for art, I kind of like the earlier works of Kandinsky and I'm absolutely fascinated by John Bramblitt (I used one of his paintings as a header until recently) I love his art. I guess the most "unique" thing is architecture? Every since we had architecture as a topic in arts class I just love it, I love looking at beautiful buildings of different kinds, for a while I even considered studying architecture.

Hearing: Uhm, kpop? I don't really know what else to say except for maybe the sound of the sea, have you guys ever been to a beach at night? I can definitely recommend that, it's beautiful and you get to hear the sea without all the people around, which is really nice.

Smelling: I absolutely love the smell of bakeries. Which might have to do with the fact that my dad had an apprenticeship as a pastry cook and thus is responsible for making cakes and pastries whenever there's a birthday or some sort of party. It's a treasured part of my childhood.

Tasting: I have a sweet tooth. I'm not that much into crisps amd stuff like that as I'm into chocolate and gummy bears and so on.

Feeling: Fluffy things, give me a fluffy pillow or carpet or whatever and I will run my hands over it the entire time, I love fluffy things. But also: wind. I love feeling wind on my skin, especially if it's strong. It gives me a sense of freedom.

What is one alternative reality you'd like to be in?

I think being able to use magic would be really cool, living the life of a fairy in some ancient forest and flying around all the time. Yup, that sounds lovely.

What are some troubles you face on a daily basis?

Aaand now we're getting to the already mentioned phobia. I'm afraid of dogs and it sucks. It wasn't too much of a problem when I was in school because I was driven/rode the bus and mostly I only had to walk a pretty short way from the bus stop to my school and usually wouldn't encounter any dogs (there was a Husky who was occasionally tied to a tree on the way but that dog was so calm and didn't butch no matter how many people walked past so after a few times that wasn't too much of a problem) but now I live fairly close to uni and taking a bus is more of a hassle than an actual benefit. The worst part is that my way leads through some sort of park right before uni and there are a lot of dogs, especially in the morning and even more so on the weekend (I have a lecture on Saturday morning) and I've sometimes encountered dogs who weren't on a leash or who were wildly barking at each other. As you can imagine that's kind of my worst nightmare (I'm feeling a little uncomfortable just remembering these situations) that has already lead me to take huge detours and in one case being a little to a lecture because there were dogs on the way. It's okay if they're on a leash, near their owner and rather calm but sadly that doesn't apply to all dogs. Sometimes I feel like I make progress but then I have a "problematic" encounter again and everything just goes to hell again.

Then there's also the fact that after two and a half years I still have to watch after my leg and often have to go slow. My knee often hurts after I walked a lot or after I sat in a chair in a normal way for too long my knee takes the gays can't sit properly thing way too seriously. So yeah I often have to tell my friends to slow down, try avoiding stairs (especially descending stairs) or try to take the bus for longer ways (which isn't always possible) and still I have some trouble with my leg pretty much every day.

What is one scene from a book that makes you really sad?

The first thing I remembered was a scene from a book I read many years ago, I can't find the English name but to sum it up: the protagonist (who was heavily pregnant at that time) was attacked and her child was injured. Shortly after the birth she and her husband received the message that their child had died from the injuries. They emigrated to the US and never found out that something had gotten mixed up and that a different child had died, not their daughter.

Say something to your followers:

I feel like my soft Q&A turned into a kind of serious Q&A, especially because of my ranting about my phobia, so I want to apologize for that. But also thank you all so much! Every single one of you means a lot to me and I'm really thankful that I can share my thoughts with you. Again, thank you for following me, I hope my blog is able to brighten up your day a little! 💕

Okay so five of my most resent followers are: @tatasbby, @jimiinsbf, @changbuns, @chanskitchen and @charlesgasly and my three biggest fans according to the tumblr statistics are @excuseme-jimin, @sunshineshouyo and @notbangchanmain

(You don't have to do this if you don't want to but it would be cool)

[baka-writings]

It's all my fault - Sangdo

@stray-dogg asked: Hey can you write a thing with Sangdo? Like something rlly sad? Like he left his s/o and he wants to get back together with them but then founds out that they died in an accident? That kinda sad?;;;

A/N: I love writing angst especially when I'm depressed, so I hope you will like it ^^

" You know what? We are over. Pack your bags and leave please..." It was the end, you knew it. Those words hurted you so much, but there was no option just to accept it - accept the truth.

" Goodbye.. " You looked at Sangdo with teary eyes, however you saw nothing in his eyes. You understood too well that this was your last glance at your now ex-boyfriend. Tears were rolling down your cheeks as you heard the door slam behind you.

" Goodbye Sangdo...." You whispered to yourself and left the apartment. You were walking down the street thinking whether to kill yourself or not, because there was nothing to live for anymore. But you managed to collect yourself to not doing it.

Arriving to your own apartment, you could finally let everything out. You broke down crying and wishing all this was just a bad nightmare. But it wasn't and you knew it.

Time was ticking and you were getting over it day by day, however you still missed Sangdo. He was the only thing that made you happy amd It was gone now. But you haven't cried for a month now, but you weren't happy either. You felt nothing. Sometimes you smiled and joked around with your friends, but only because you didn't want them to worry. Well let's say they only knew that you two broke up. Nothing less, nothing more.

It was already 4 months after your break up and you were slowly getting over it. Today was your friends birthday and of course you were invited to his party. You didn't want to go at first, but it will at least clear your mind.

Party was great to be honest. You completely forgot everything bad, at least for a few hours. It was time to go home, but it was really late plus it was raining.

" Y/N? If you want I can take you home " Your friends brother, Taeyang suggested and you agreed. The ride was silent at first, but then he spoke up.

" so... I heard about you and Sangdo...I mean I'm sorry for what happened " You just gave him a small nod as you didn't want to talk about it. You quickly changed the subject to something happier which was a good idea as you both talked and had some happy time. You were looking outside the window, you couldn't see much because of the rain, but there was something you couldn't unsee. A truck was coming fast to you way and there was no sign of it stopping or going slower. You quickly turned your head to Taeyang to tell him, but before you could open your mounth a loud crash was heard and you felt pain a lots of pain. You couldn't breathe, you couldn't talk, hear or see anything. All you felt was a huge pain. Your mind was getting blank second by second. Until it went completely blank. That was it. You were dead.

A few weeks have passed. Sangdo was getting lonely. He finally realized it was a mistake to let you go, because deep down he still loved you. He was scared to contact you, what if you already found someone else? He had a lots of thoughts, but decided to go to your apartment and tell you in person. However he didn't know happened, being on tours and having a tight schedule left no time for other things.

He stood by your apartment door for almost 3 hours hoping to meet you and apologize. But you haven't came.

" Y/N...where are you?" He asked almost in whisper.

" Excuse me? Who are you? " an older woman opened the apartment door which left Sangdo confused.

" I'm sorry ma'am. I was waiting for my girl- ex girlfriend Y/N, she lives here " he said politely still confused.

" Y/N? I'm so sorry to tell you that, but she's been in an accident and passed away " woman said quietly as she had hard time saying it out. Sangdo's eyes became teary as he heard what she said.

" I'm sorry " she said quietly as she saw Sangdo crying. He immediately walked away holding his tears in which was of course hard.

He ran as fast as he could to the nearest graveyard, tears still rolling down his face. He saw it. A new grave with a lots of flowers.

He fell on his knees as he saw it was yours. It was unbelievable. He should've protected you. But all he did was breaking up with you. He realized that he won't see you anymore, won't kiss you & won't hug you.

" It's my fault...I shouldn't have let you go... " he whispered still crying on his knees. He couldn't believe it. He made a terrible mistake amd now, a person he loves the most is not with him anymore.

[transenbyhollis]

the cake situation

about a couple weeks ago, a friend invited me to her birthday party. i called her and asked if anyone was making a cake, she says shes buying one.

several days later, i get a call-she just realized she cant afford a cake. i agree to make one for her. then she texts me: one of her friends is gluten free amd vegan.

i start looking up recipes for gluten free and vegan chocolate cake and find one that looks simple enough. i go shopping and buy all the necessary ingredients for the cake and for a frosting recipe.

the day before the party, i make the cake. frosting is very rich and chocolatey. i taste a bit of the cake and it seems fine to me. one of my roommates gets home as im cooking, and mentions our other roommate is having a really shitty day.

later i realize-i was planning to make some cupcakes, but only a few as theres already a cake. so ill probably use about half a mix. i text my roommate-im gonna make some cupcakes, but only use half the batter. chocolate cake was requested but theres already one of those now so i can make something different. he says ok, cool, im not going to the party tho. i say yeah i know, what im implying is therell be half a bowl of batter for our roommate. this roommate loves cake batter, but isnt a huge fan of chocolate.

after class, i go to bimart. i text my roommate again-whats our roommates favorite kind of cake batter? funfetti? lemon? he says funfetti. i realize bimart doesnt have funfetti, and after some deliberation i decide to walk all the way to the grocery store in independence for funfetti. eventually i get home with my cake mix and make a dozen cupcakes. i give the rest of the batter to my roommate, who is pleased.

i go to the party, and it turns out the friend whos gluten free and vegan wont even be there. after a couple hours, it comes time for the cake. my friend tries and shes like hmmm.... well how do i put this.... gluten free and vegan cake fucking sucks. frostings amazing tho. i eat most of my cake, its a little heavy but still seems fine to me.

people eat funfetti cupcakes, and i end up taking home half the cake. a couple days later, im getting ready for work and i realize-who do i know whos gluten free and vegan? my coworker who i share a shift with today! i get to work, and it turns out someone else took her shift. after work, i send her a message on our work schedule app asking if shed be interested in free cake.

so now i am checking my phone, waiting for a response.

[strawberry-boogie]

(feature image by Shayan Asgharnia)

I first came in contact with Los Angeles based superhero Sama'an Ashrawi a few months back. I was at my 9-5 when he hit me up via email to talk about the Afrofuturistic web series that he was co-producing for DUST. He had found a piece I’d done on Missy Elliott’s love for spacey visuals and we soon started chatting about media, art, and futuristic Black life.

I figured out pretty quickly that Ashrawi was way more dope than I could’ve ever imagined. He’s met Herbie Hancock, Ladybug Mecca, Thundercat, and countless other legendary creative pillars. Since we’ve been in touch, he’s shared great stories about his life with me and I’m grateful that someone with his experience is that open. I mentioned that I wanted to interview him and he quickly and graciously accepted. So, without further ado, here is my chat with Sama'an Ashrawi, Trill Gladiator.

⭐️

Who are you?

My name is Sama’an, my friends often refer to me as “dad” because:

a) I like to make sure everyone stays hydrated when we go out dancing

b) my dance moves are pretty stiff (almost nailed a Milly Rock last weekend, but I’m not quite there yet), and

c) because I am very much into puns.

I also get called “William Miller” a lot because my hair and career have a lot of similarities to the kid from the movie Almost Famous. This clip = me. From a young age, I’ve been able to gain the trust of, and land interviews with, really big names. I was 20 when I interviewed Raekwon for the first time, 21 when I interviewed Kendrick Lamar and Damian Marley.

What sparked your interest in Afrofuturism?

The short answer is: a combination of things in my upbringing.

The long answer is:

Since I was a teenager, I was into the music of Hendrix and George Clinton and watched plenty of Star Trek thanks to my parents; they met in college as political activists and over the years have introduced me to their many friends who were veterans of various liberation movements. My parents and their friends taught me intersectionality before I was introduced to that term in college.

Though I can’t be sure if it happened on Twitter or in the classroom, I discovered the music of Sun Ra and Fela Kuti and the idea of Afrofuturism as I pursued a minor in African Diaspora Studies. The Af Am classes I took were hugely important in shaping my understanding of the uniqueness of the psychology of the African American experience, but I think it was my parents’ homegrown education that gave me the foundation to be aware of and open to those ideas.

(shot by Sarah Jasmine Montgomery)

College changed my life. It’s where I paid my dues. It’s where I met so many of the people who would open doors for me and help me set my sails. Many of them I still work with to this day. But I think the two most important things I did in college were: becoming a producer at, and eventually entertainment director of, Texas Student TV (our student-run TV station) & minoring in Africa & African Diaspora Studies.

I think when people try to downplay the history of racism in this country, pointing them to Sun Ra is a great rebuttal because it’s like… things were really so bad that Sun Ra wanted to take black people to a whole new planet. That Sun Ra’s escapism was so heavy and yet he could still present it in such a beautiful amd melodic way still blows my mind. In general, I think art that comes from marginalized communities has the ability to cut through the static in a way that is unparalleled— more than a speech ever could.

Have you learned anything in the last week?

Hmmmm what have I learned in the last week? I learn so much from my friends every day, you’re making me want to start a journal dedicated to the things my friends teach me. Some wisdom that my big brother Gary Clark Jr just imparted to me is: when you’re collaborating with someone, it’s like a dance; if you’re moving at two different speeds, you’re gonna trip each other up. So if you feel like you’re moving faster than the other person, pump your brakes.

(shot by Marco Torres)

How did you meet Bun B?

I just had the treat of witnessing him tell this story last time I was in Houston. It’s way more cinematic when he tells it, but, we met almost exactly 7 years ago, in July of 2010. It was the summer after my sophomore year at The University of Texas and I had just been handed the reins to produce the hip-hop show at our school’s student-run TV station, Texas Student TV. The show had formerly been called ATX Most Wanted, but our entertainment director at the time, the now Emmy-winning Tabitha Lipkin, said she wanted me to come up with a new name.

I had driven to Houston from Austin to cover Trae Day— underground legend Trae Tha Truth’s city holiday and its corresponding concert. (PS Trae gave me a lot of my first looks, and for that I am forever grateful—later, when I became entertainment director at the TV station, I would get his videos and cartoon sketches played on the station. PPS I may or may not have a cameo in this music video, I’ll let you find it though)

At any rate, Lupe Fiasco happened to be at Trae’s concert and so I went right up to him and introduced myself; my sister was with me and she got a great, sweaty picture of us together that I need to dig up. (As the years have gone by, Lupe has been a sort of enigmatic mentor figure, appearing a few times a year to give me encouragement or advice, and whenever I’ve needed to do an interview, he’s always said yes.)

Anyway, at Trae Day I also met a rapper named Troublesum; she and I struck up a conversation and she asked, “Are you going to Bun B’s album listening session tonight?”

I was like, “I had no idea that was even a thing.”

So she gave me the deets and a few hours later we met back up there. This was Bun’sTrill O.G. album which has the distinction of being the last album given 5 mics by The Source. Troublesum introduced me to one of Bun’s managers, Bone, I gave him my spiel and asked if I could interview Bun. He said, “Once we’re done listening to the album, I got you.”

You’ve gotta know that growing up in Texas, Bun is looked at as a Greek God, mythical and omnipotent. I thought it would take me years to meet the man, let alone interview him. Here I was, just a few months into my “career”, and I was in a studio sitting next to Lupe Fiasco and Young Buck (lol) waiting to interview Bun.

The new name for the show I had come up with was simple and to the point, “Longhorn Hip Hop”; Our school mascot is the Longhorns, so it made sense. I told myself, okay, if it sounds good coming out of Bun’s mouth, it’s gonna stick (Bun would tell me I should say “pause” here, but this isn’t his interview so I’m not gonna say it!) So we did the interview, it went well, and Bun said something like, “Shoutout to Longhorn Hip Hop; Hook ‘em Horns, baby,” and I was like, “Yup, that’s it.”

Then I ended up at a lot of events over the next few months that Bun also was at and built up a good rapport with the people around him; I think understandably Bun is wary of letting new people into his circle, so he kept his distance from me at first to see if I was a genuine person. But the way Bun likes to tell it is that the breakthrough moment was when I showed up to his bodyguard Truck’s birthday party the next year, that was what made him initiate me into the Trill Gladiators. When Bun tells the story he always emphasizes the fact that, “Sama’an came allll the way to the HOOD” haha but for me it was more about supporting the people who supported me. And to this day, Bone, Truck, and Bun, among others, have always been there for me.

Do you feel lit? You’re pretty poppin in my opinion, but how do you feel about yourself?

Haha you know, I’m not sure I’ve ever used the term “lit” un-ironically mainly because I’m not sure it’s for me to say. I think I’ve done a lot of cool stuff, can’t deny that, but I’ve still got a lot of growing to do. One person who inspires me a great deal is Hannibal Buress; I look at how long he grinded it out before he caught his big breaks and it motivates me to keep going.

How do I feel about myself? Truthfully, maybe this says a lot about me, but I never take selfies. Is that weird? Like if you follow me on snapchat, you’ll rarely if ever see me post selfie pics/videos. What does that say about me? Idk.

What’s the most important part of your creative process?

Movement. Going for a walk, or a drive to a far away place, or playing basketball. Something about taking in new surroundings helps me get my ideas out, especially if I’ve got writer’s block.  

Write three sentences. One for the past you, one for the current you, and one for super duper grown up you.

Past – Maybe don’t tweet so much.  

Present – Sometimes growth is stressful and crying is okay.

Super Duper Grown Up – Please tell me I grow up to be a late night talk show host.

That’s all folks! Thanks for reading~

-Brooklyn White

[fireloverbc]

I'm going to scream into the void at 3am.

I had a friend from high school, we met in a class we both hated, and bonded over anime and fanfiction. We were best friends for five years. Spent as much time as we could together and texted everyday. Thousands of texts between us. We would call each other even, though we both typically hated being on the phone. I remember one morning while she was on a school trip to Ireland she got locked in a building on accident. She called me first and i stayed in the phone with her for the couple of hours that she spent there. It had been about 4am for me, the call ended at around 7am. I didn't regret it. She was my best friend and we shared everything. I never talked about anything important, but I would with her, because she would do the same with me.

A few years ago now her parents tried to help me get an apartment on my own. They also tried to control absolutely everything and I had a panic attack both telling them thanks but no I wasn't ready to move out, and telling my aunt the struggle I was having. Like I said, not a huge sharer... I think thats when something changed. My friend had stopped texting me, and we wouldn't talk much after I initiated. I tried to talk to her, see if it was because I didn't do the apartment thing. She said that she didn't have a problem with that. Our communication continued to decline. The apartment thing had happened in December, and our birthdays are a few days apart, end of September and beginning of October. I don't know what our last conversation was, because I had deleted the conversation history about a year after, but I know the last message I sent her was a happy birthday, in a last ditch hope that she would respond, because she hadn't responded to the last several messages I had sent. There wasn't a response and I gave up when my birthday came around and there was nothing from her.

It hurts spending so much time and effort and emotion into a friendship for it to end so abruptly. I want to know why. I really do. Was it something I said? Something her parents said? Friends from university? Something I did? I could have called her when she stopped responding. I didn't. I probably told myself that it was because I hate phome calls, and she was probably busy. Then it was that it had been too long. The truth was I think I was just absolutely terrified. Rejection hurts. And I don't think I really wanted to know why I was being kicked out of her life without any explanation. Because worse than if i did something or said something. Is if she just.

Got tired.

Got tired of me. Dealing with me?

I already had enough confidence issues then (and now honestly) that having confirmation that im not worth being friends with probably would have broken me.

There isn't anything specifically that hurts the most about the situation. But one of the big ones was that she knew I didn't make friends easily, and I still don't. Mostly because when I'm really friends with someone, i give my entire being to them. She knew that, because I'd told her, because I had a friend before her that I gave my everything to and I had to tear myself away from her because she was like a pit and if I let her I would have been dragged down.

I've never been one for regrets. Whats the point? You can't go back and change things. So I don't regret making friends with wither of those girls. They helped shape who I am as a person. I don't regret cutting myself off from the first friend I had ever made, because I had seen the person I would habe become and I didn't want that. It took me years and years until I could see a picture or recieve a message from that front person and not want to break down. I had explained that to my friend that this post is about. Mostly because I would be with her when I got a message from that other girl and start to break a little. When I got a text from the first friend and felt nothing, the first thing I did was call my friend.

I had a point to this. I did. But I'm on the verge of tears right now, because while typing this up I'm thinking of all the things I want to tell her. They aren't nice. Mostly accusatory. A lot to point out that she knew me the best and the things that would have helped with. A huge thing would be to give my condolences because her grandmother died after whatever went down and I would have been there for her. That was the closest I came to calling her. But its been almost two years now. Which makes me wonder how long it will take me until I can look at things she's given me without wanting to throw up and scream. We wpuld have entire conversations without speaking, because we wede brushing our teeth, or her p rents were in the room. How do you go from that to disregarding existence?

My own feelings honestly frustrate me, because I know nobody else feels the same as I do, at least no one that I know. The feeling of holding yourself back from friends because you know if you put too much forward then you can't hold anything back and the intensity of my abject adoration of friends hurts me. Especially when they don't return even a percentage of that intensity. Giving your heart away hurts, its exhausting, and it has years of lasting damage.

Gods though am I glad I can't really regret most anything. Because I do appreciate everything that I've gone through, its made me who I am today. Friends, enemies, simple people that come and go from life. Everyone you meet is precious to you as a person. These people have shaped so much of who I am and how I act. It makes me wonder if they have any idea. The first friend I didnt know. I hadn't had any friends before her, so when I grew attached I didn't know how to stop myself. Amd the second one. I'd thought she was going to stick around.

This has taken me 40 minutes to type out and I need to go to sleep, I need to work in the morning. Like I said. This is me screaming into the void. I've no idea how I would tag this... I don't think I will though. Not really.