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manateeteaparty · 2 months ago

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This week started out so great. Monday was great. Monday night though- I was looking through Google Photos to see what pumpkin carving patterns I had saved to my phone over the past few years. The app automatically creates folders for you- categories of people, places and things- to make it easier to access. When I clicked on my collections and was swiping through, I saw a photo of Matt. I was surprised. I thought that I had deleted all of my photos of him. I clicked on the photo, and it took me to the folder it had of him. There were still quite a few. Then I remembered. I did delete a lot of the photos I had of him- most of them in fact- but there were some I just couldn't bear to part with. Some that were too special to me at the time, a couple of months ago.

Seeing them again hurt so much. Seeing his face. I have almost forgotten what it looked like- when I think of him in my mind, I see his outline, and his face is blurry. But those photos- photos of him laughing. Candid photos. A photo of us together, him in my lap. Both of us smiling. Me smiling one of the biggest smiles I've ever seen on me before. I looked so freaking happy in that picture. It broke my heart seeing it again. Remembering how I felt in those moments- so completely opposite from how I've felt for so long- I feel shame and remorse looking back at them. I feel sorrow and despair knowing that the happiness I felt in those moments was all fake, and never existed in the first place- at least on his part. I feel so much hurt. I feel so unbelievably broken.

I deleted every photo. I also realized that I still had him as a contact in my phone, and remembered how he had deleted me a long time ago- and as a friend on snapchat. I deleted our messages from my phone, and his number. Something I should have done months ago, when I realized he had done the same for me. I stopped using snapchat months ago- it hurt too much, it just reminded me of all the time I spent messaging him. I did go back on about a month ago to start my account again, in hopes that it would give me the boost of confidence I needed to start being social again- but that quickly faded in about a day. Yesterday was the first time on since then. Even though he's not listed as a friend, our conversation was still there. I never liked re-reading old messages- it always hurt too much- but I decided to do that before I deleted him for good.

Reading through the messages also made me realize how much he contradicted himself. How much he would say something to me, then say the complete opposite soon after. I was so fucking blind. I was so naive. I wish I could go back and shake myself and say "Wake the fuck up. This person doesn't love you. They're using you. They don't want to be your friend. They're lying to you. You believe them because they're saying nice things and it feels nice."

"Emily I'm so sorry I've hurt you so much these pass few months I never meant too"

"And Emily even if it isn't romantic love the way you need. I will always love you as a person and I will continue to be your friend if you allow me too."

"But I can't stand the idea of not having you a part of my life even if it's just a little bit here and there. I want us to be good friends emily and I also want to support you as well I don't want to just dump you and move on I care about you too much for that to happen."

"doesn't mean I won't speak to you or something extreme like that"

"And also emily I still love you maybe not romantically but I still even now want you in my life"

"And I wanna forget about why we didn't work out and learn how we can work as friends for the future"

"I don't want you to go away Emily not at all"

What a fucking joke. Lie after lie after lie. Holy shit, what do you take me for? Right to my fucking face. You don't want me to go away, but you're actively pushing me away? You want to learn how we can work as friends, yet you're purposely not speaking to me, and not making any effort to see me? You'll continue to be my friend if I allow you to- like I am right now- though you're the one who's not allowing it? You can't stand the idea of not having me as a part of your life? You want to support me??? Oh, my favorite one- you won't just dump me and move on, you care about me too much for that to happen. Oh my god. Holy shit. What is this bullshit. Reading all this last night, it was such a slap in the face. I had to take a break and go throw up. What kind of person says this shit only to immediately go and do it? A fucking psychopath. An absolute psycopath. Someone who has absolutely no regard for others at all. Just a narcissistic fuckboy who uses others to get what he wants, and discards them like a piece of garbage when he stops getting the attention he wants. After he broke up with me, he said (in regards to me always being on edge/paranoid about the thought of him leaving me or hurting me in some way)-"It really hurt tbh like I'd never want to do any of that but you felt that I would and it just devalued all the stuff I had done with you over the last 4 years. And I know you weren't accusing me of anything but just the thought that you couldn't ever truly trust me in that regard really hurt". And that just proves once again how I should always trust my gut instinct. For months I was feeling like something wasn't right, an he would just deny it- but then in the end, he was saying how for months he was feeling like he should break up with me but didn't want to, so kept going in hopes his feelings would change. In other words, my instinct was right, and I should have trusted it. The alarm bells were going off inside of my head, screaming that I was going to get hurt, and I should have listened.

He got so fucking upset at the thought that I could ever accuse him of hurting me- and I never once accused him of it. I told him I have an innate fear of being hurt, because I have in the past, and I didn't want him to ever hurt me. Not just physically- but mentally. Emotionally. I would beg him- whatever your feelings are, be truthful with me. Don't lie to me. Please, don't fucking lie to me. If you ever loved me- be honest and respect me. And above all else, please, please don't abandon me. If you ever want to leave, tell me. He would always say how he would never, EVER do anything like that, and then even had the balls to say one of the reasons he broke up with me was because I had a hard time trusting him in the end? When it turns out that lack of trust was for good reason?! Hey, guess what, I really hate to break it to you. Silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse. It communicates: if you do something I don't like, I will act like you don't exist. Mental abuse isn't just screaming and calling a person names. It's also ignoring them, invalidating them. It is neglecting and not considering their feelings, treating them like they don't count. Witholding intimacy is a toxic form of emotional abuse. Purposely denying sex, affection, or any type or physical connection with your partner is emotional abuse. It is just as damaging as physical abuse, if not more. You did all of those things. For MONTHS on end. In the end, you became the exact thing you said you'd never be. You did fucking hurt me. You did abandon me. You did abuse me. Maybe not physically, but certainly mentally and emotionally. Congratulations. I hope it all was worth it.

I wonder, when you heard my voicemail- the one where I was crying- did you react at all? Did you laugh, thinking how pathetic I was? Or did you just delete it. Any time I messaged you, did you sigh out loud, or swear to yourself, because I was just a burden that you didn't want to deal with? A little annoyance who was getting in your way?

He talked so much about wanting to stay friends after we broke up. Even when we were on our "break", he said the purpose of that was to strengthen our friendship and and start back at square one. In so many messages he would say things like "I still love you, it's just not the romantic love I used to have". But then every single time he would message me over the summer, he would insist the only time he see me is if I felt no love for him at all. That he doesn't want me to see him until my feelings for him are gone. Ok, so you want to be friends with me, but you don't want me to have feelings for you? So what do you want, for me to hate you? Make up your fucking mind. Maybe you do things different with your friends- but I love all of mine deeply. I don't bother to form friendships unless I care for someone in one way or another. Love doesn't have to be romantic. Romantic love is great, but it's sullied by sexual desire. By cheating, lying, pain, jealousy. Familial love is filled with obligations and duties, and in some cases (my case) resentment. Platonic love- at least in my opinion- is the strongest form of love. To see a person, get to know them. To choose to walk together in life not because you have to, not because you desire each other, but because you truly admire them to the core of their being. I have never felt more seen, more loved, than when I am with my dearest friends. We always tell each other we love each other, and it's never awkward, or weird. I felt so much platonic admiration for you, and wanted to show it- and you said you wanted that too- but clearly that's not the case. And I've realized, that's truly what hurts the most. Not losing you as a partner, not losing you as lover, but losing you as a friend- because you made the very conscious effort to cut me out of your life, after telling me for so long that you would never do something like that.

Also,

"it's been really hard to feel love for you when you were away".

I was so emotionally overwhelmed at the time, I didn't absorb a lot of what he was saying back in July. Reading this again is fucking devastating. You don't feel anything for me unless you're physically in my presence? It's been really hard for you to feel that? Do you understand how shitty that makes me feel? That I'm only worth loving if I'm in the room with you? So basically you're saying "Out of sight, out of mind". Which would explain why you were able to move on so quickly. Why you were able to completely forget I exist. Because when I'm not around, I literally don't exist to him. I wonder if that made it easier to look for other people? Because he also claimed he never cheated on me. "1) I have never cheated on you". Yet, he also said, "But I had moments of weakness where I went looking but never found anyone worth my time". That is cheating. It may not be physical cheating, but it is emotional cheating. Which is still fucking cheating. And lol, "never found anyone worth my time"? Are you saying that if you did find someone worth your time, you would've dumped me a long time ago- that you were just hanging onto me because you went looking and couldn't find anyone "worth your time" so you just kept me around as a backup plan? Is that supposed to make me feel better? What the fuck. What was I to you. Just a toy?Something to use? Just something to distract you from your "lonely" feelings? I'M A FUCKING PERSON YOU PSCYHOTIC FUCK.

"Tbh I should've ended it that night you claim that I'm out here looking around behind your back trying to get laid when we were "dating" if you ever called it that. But I legitimately was told yours truly that you went to go fuck someone else and it wasn't good so you came back to me" Okay, great. So why didn't you end it that night? You're right. If you wanted to so bad, you should have. It would have saved us a lot of trouble, for sure. As for the whole "dating" thing- I knew from the beginning that I loved him. I wanted him to be my boyfriend. We would always talk in his truck about our ideas on dating, being with other people, etc. I would try to act cool and not seem like I was in love with him. I would ask him what his thoughts on dating were. I specifically remember him saying, "I like what we have now, meeting up like we do, but I don't want to tie myself down to one person". He would also talk about hooking up with other girls. I assumed he was doing that- and it hurt- but what the fuck was I going to do about it? Nothing. This whole Cam/parking lot bullshit happened on August 23, 2022. Matt and I met in 2020. I stopped seeing other people in September of 2021 cause I was so fucking enamored with him, I thought his personality was so great, he was so funny- I didn't want to fuck anyone else. Also, I just genuinely enjoyed hanging out with him, I wanted to dedicate what little free time I had into getting to know him better. I legitimately thought that he wasn't coming to the spot to see me that night. I was sure that he had ditched me. I was so fucking hurt. I didn't plan anything with Charlie. He started texting me while I was waiting there for Matt. He asked if I wanted to hangout. I had told him the previous year that I wasn't interested in hooking up anymore, but we still got together to go eat sometimes and go Geocaching. I told him I was meeting up with Matt- I had told him about Matt, and that I liked him a lot- and that I would see him some other time. He said cool. As time went on, and I was still waiting, I felt so upset. I thought 'Ok, if Matt really wanted to see me, he would definitely be checking the time. Or his phone. Or even feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket? He said he was just going to drop weed off at Cams, not hang out." I legitimately thought that it was going to be a 5 minute drop off. I had no idea he was going to be hanging out. And no he didn't tell me to go to the spot to wait for him when I did- I went there because I was so fucking excited to see him. Again, I didn't think I would be waiting for so long. So after an hour and fifteen minutes went by, I drove off. I called Charlie. I was crying, and I told him let's meet up. We did.

My intention wasn't to fuck him that night. I just wanted to do something fun to distract myself from how awful I was feeling. I was 100% convinced that I had been "Dumped". That Matt wanted nothing to do with me and was just ghosting me. Charlie and I did end up having sex- and I really regret it- and when I opened snapchat and saw the messages from Matt, I felt awful. And the thing is, Charlie continued reaching out to me- even through this year- and I always told him off. In May of 2023 he asked to meet- I told him that Matt and I were now officially in a relationship, and I had no interest in changing that. In December of 2023 he reached out again, and I told him the same- I said even if we hang out as friends, I wouldn't feel comfortable, knowing that it would be wrong to meet with someone who my boyfriend felt uncomfortable with me being around. And I didn't want to hurt my relationship. Even in August of this year, after Matt had broke up with me, Charlie messaged me- he said he was sorry to hear that I was sad, and that he missed me, and he wanted to get a room for us to spend the night... he wanted to help me forget about Matt, and feel special again. I was so pissed. The last thing on my mind was sex. I didn't want to have sex with anyone, at all, let alone Charlie. Even if I wasn't fucking traumatized, I wouldn't want to get a room with him. Even after being broken up with, I wanted to respect Matt. I immediately blocked Charlie and deleted him as a contact.

And I didn't come back to Matt because "it wasn't good so I came back to him"- what the fuck- I came back to him cause I was in love with him and wanted to be with him. I wanted to be his girlfriend, I wanted to hug him, I wanted to apologize. I felt genuine remorse. I was ashamed because I had these huge feelings for this person I thought was so amazing and so special, someone who I thought was just interested in me sexually and not romantically ,and I was so worried that those feelings were unreciprocated. I didn't want to scare him away by letting him know how I really felt- that I wanted to be more than just friends, more than just a fuck buddy- that I thought about him all the time, and wanted to be able to call him my boyfriend. But I thought he didn't want that, and I didn't want to push him away.

It's absolutely insane to me how he spent so much time convincing me he was different. He saw the pain in my eyes, he heard my suffering, listened to me cry and tell him about how so many people had broken my trust and me as a person. And he told me that he was different, that I finally found the one that was different, that he's the one I can finally trust. So I let my walls down with him, became vulnerable, opened up and told him every single thing and every single occurrence that has crushed me because I finally thought- I finally believed- I could be safe with somebody. But then he turns around and crushes me and shatters my trust in the exact same way that everyone else I told him about also did. For months I had the feeling that something wasn't right in our relationship and he was holding something back from me. He would always deny it, and get so defensive and upset. I stopped trying to ask. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, but it made me more and more depressed. And when he said he wanted to take a break from being physical- from being intimate- that killed me. I pleaded with him and told him this is just going to make my mental health so much worse. I remember saying something along the lines of "I'm trying to tell you how important it is that you acknowledge me this way, and I'm really afraid that by the time you decide you actually want to, I'm going to be so far gone mentally, I'm not going to want anything to do with you". And he just ignored me and said "Well this is what I want right now, and if you love me, you'll accept that, or we'lljust have to break up now". And I did love him, so I did. (Once again- refusing to acknowledge your partner or their needs is fucking emotional abuse- and saying "Well if you don't do as I say, then you'll be punished" is a threat that abusers use all the goddamn time to get what they want- but no, he would never do that). But I was right. The lack of being close to him, the lack of everything, my mental health took such a huge turn. I was dying on the inside and trying to hide it. I was desperately trying to tell myself everything was okay. In the back of my mind I knew something was wrong, and I didn't want to face it. Mentally, I wasn't ready to. I knew that he was already checked out of the relationship, and I didn't want to admit it to myself.

As much as he pinned our end on me- and I know I did a lot wrong, and I am by no means perfect- I've come to realize over the past month that he wanted this, he fought for us to end, and he got what he wanted. If he truly wanted us to stay together, we still would be. He gave up on us, on me. He said he just felt so lonely, so miserable, so alone without me. That when we were together it was wonderful. It was like everything was happy again, and he could finally relax. But when we were apart- it was unbearable for him. Really- how the fuck do you think I felt? You think you were the only one feeling that? You think you were the only miserable one in the relationship, the only one who went home and felt like shit? Feeling like I was trapped inside my own house with nowhere to go, with no privacy, nowhere to be myself, constantly being berated by an adult manchild, being the sole adult and voice of reason and responsibility to two children, trying to keep my head above water and not lose my mind while I juggled my work life, mom life, bills, stress, emotions, while feeling and watching my physical health deteriorate and my love life be out of reach? Having to try and keep it all together while I was literally falling apart, while all the while I would go to work every day and force myself to smile and pretend that everything was okay, knowing that everyone around me was depending on me? That I couldn't fuck it up. That I had to pretend to be strong. That in reality, I had nobody to rely on. Feeling just as alone as you, if not more. Just as sad. Just as goddamn empty. I don't know how many times I would cry myself to sleep at night wishing I could just reach out and hold you, that we were together, feeling so goddamn depressed that I only got to see you a few hours a week. Feeling so pathetic and useless, so helpless, knowing that you were sad and wanting to just let you know how much I loved you and how much you meant to me and I would never give up on you.

Feeling so completely torn between wanting to run away with you- which would mean giving up my house, taking my daughter out of school, uprooting her from her place of reliance/safety, giving up everything in my life- just to what, move into a tiny apartment with you? To make you happy. When you wouldn't even entertain moving out of your parents house. Where you get to stay for free! What the actual fuck! You don't even have to worry about the responsibility of paying bills, and you tried to shame me for not moving out to live with you? You would always make me feel so guilty about not wanting to move out of MY house, the house that I fucking own, just to live with you. And the thing is, I would actually feel bad about that. I loved you so much and wanted to do anything to make you happy, I would feel guilty about that. I started to tell myself that I was a bad person for not moving out. For not wanting to take Maggie out of school and move her to a new place. That I should be willing to do ANYTHING if it meant make you happy- at least we would be together, and that's all that mattered. Holy shit, what a fucking idiot I was. Of course that wouldn't be right! My daughter is my priority no matter what! But you made me feel so guilty, so awful, for not wanting to do that for you- and I never thought for a second, Why wouldn't he do it for me? And you could only think about yourself- you never stopped to wonder how miserable I was. How fucking lonely I was. How being apart from you was killing me. You just used it as an one of your excuses to break up with me. I never thought it was a reason for us to breakup- I truly loved you- and I thought that as long as we loved each other, that was all that mattered. I guess that would be true, if I wasn't the only one who felt love. Despite all the times you would say how much being apart from me was killing you- and I would agree- you would refuse to meet with me to talk about things. Looking back over these messages, I realize how many times I'd try to explain to you how much I hate talking over text- how I wish we could just meet in person- and you would refuse. Yet somehow, at the end, you pinned everything on me and how I didn't want to meet you on that Sunday. Everything was suddenly my fault. Because of a miscommunication, on both of our parts. But to you, it was all my fault, and you absolutely refused to see or hear my side of things. Even the days after, when you asked me if I thought you had made the right decision, and I told you I fucking hate talking over text- let's just meet in person and talk things over- you refused. But still you kept saying how everything is complicated over text and you wish I just would have given you the chance to meet in person- what??! That was literally what I was doing. I was telling you I wanted that- I was asking you for that- and you kept refusing it! Yet you kept saying "I just wanted us to meet and talk" Yeah, me too! What the fuck? Also, you want to talk in person? Great, why didn't you any time I asked if you would back in July, back when we were on good terms? Once again- make up your mind. You do/You don't. Which is it? I think you just wanted another excuse to break up. Actually, looking back at how you breadcrumbed me all summer without any intention of actually meeting up or seeing me again- I know for certain that's what your goal was.

"My question is why are you looking on sexual Reddit threads? Are you seriously over me already?"

No, I wasn't- not by a longshot- but apparently you seriously were. You were over me a long time ago, and were just trying to guilt trip me for realizing something you didn't want me to.

I was so afraid of losing you, until I realized you never belonged to me in the first place. Because even though my heart was with you, yours was with everyone and everything else. So instead of losing you, I sat back and slowly watched you lose me, without even realizing it. I chose you over everyone else, and you went and chose everyone else over me. And I realize now that I did get the closure I needed from you: The lack of empathy was the closure. The lack of respect was the closure. That's all you were ever capable of giving. Back in August I wrote that I wish I never met you, but I took it back. I felt guilty writing that. After reading over all these messages again, I realize it's true.

I would have done anything for you. I more than loved you- I adored you. And I can't really describe it- but sometimes I felt you were my partner, sometimes my lover. Other times I loved you like I would an old friend, and sometimes I felt like you were a younger brother figure who I loved as family. Occasionally I felt so maternal and loved you like a mother who just wanted to protect you and keep you safe, and make sure you were always happy, to tuck you in, to kiss your forehead, to sing you to sleep. Always, I cared for you. Every morning I woke up and wished that you would have the best day- every night when I went to sleep, I hoped that you were sleeping well. I got into the habit of staying up until midnight every year the day before your birthday just so I could watch the clock turn over to midnight and send you a Happy Birthday the first second I could. I wanted you to know how special you were. I got so much joy just hearing you talk about your friends, your interests, the things that made you laugh. When you were sick, I would have done anything in my power to make it better- and always asked you if you wanted me to have anything delivered to your house (you never took me up on that offer). When you were sad, I felt miserable. I genuinely was so happy and excited for you every time something good happened for you. Even this summer- even when I was falling apart- I was still caring about you, long after you stopped caring about me. In August I still stayed up for your birthday, and when the clock beeped midnight, I whispered Happy Birthday to you out loud. In my heart, it still mattered. I didn't want you to ever feel alone, not even from a distance. I hope one day you look back and realize that my intentions were always pure, and all I wanted to do was to love you and remind you that even though you may feel alone, you never really are. I would always be your friend- or I would have been. That I wasn't afraid to take the risk for you, because you were the last big risk I was willing to take. I only wanted your happiness, and would have done anything in the world to see you smile. I hope one day you realize that you completely broke the one person who only ever truly wanted to watch you succeed.

#diary

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hydrus · 1 year ago

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Version 544

youtube

windows

zip

exe

macOS

app

linux

tar.gz

I had a good week. File storage locations can now have max size limits. There is a security fix in this release, and users who run from source will want to rebuild their venvs this week.

full changelog

max size

This is just for advanced users for now.

So, in migrate database, if you have multiple locations set for your files, you can now, for all but one, set a 'max size', limiting the total mass of files it will store. The idea here is that if you have a 2TB drive and a 500GB one, then rather than having to keep playing with the weights to ensure the 500GB doesn't get too full, you can now set the 500GB location with a 450GB limit and hydrus will allocate that space and no more.

There are a couple of limitations. It isn't perfectly precise, so if your space is tight, give it a little padding (although remember that drives should be at least 10% free space anyway!). Also, it won't yet enforce these rules outside of the 'move files now' button. If you set a tight limit and then import many files, it will blow over that limit (at least until you open up migrate database and hit 'move files now' again to rebalance).

The next step here is to implement automatic background file migration for always-on checking so we can have these rules apply without regular user intervention. My aim is to get rid of the lagtastic 'move files now' entirely so no file migration blocks other use. I hope to have this done in the next few weeks.

webp

A remote execution (very bad) vulnerability was recently discovered in the main webp library. You probably noticed your chrome/firefox updated this week, which was fixing it. Our 'Pillow' image-loading library uses libwebp, and they rolled out an update themselves this week. The builds today incorporate the fix, so if you use them, just update as normal and you are good. If you run from source, reinstall your venv.

However, if you are Windows 7 (or otherwise on Python <=3.7), I am afraid you cannot get the fix! As I understand, it just won't work for you. There is now an additional choice in the 'advanced' setup_venv script to choose the older Pillow version, so you can keep running, but I'm afraid with this and other things you lads are now solidly in the phase of limited security updates. I will keep supporting you as long as it is generally reasonable, but if you still want to use Win 7, I think the train is running out of track.

misc

When images fail to render, they now show something proper in the media viewer. (previously they were just blank forever and made some error popups).

After last week's updates, Mr Bones gets a readability/layout pass.

The client should stop mistaking various text files for mpegs in the pre-import phase!

I think the Docker client wouldn't boot last week, same for anyone else without the PSD-tools library. Sorry for the trouble, should be fixed now!

next week

I'd like to add a file search to the file history chart and get stuck into more file storage infrastructure updates.

#release #Youtube

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half-dead-ham · 1 year ago

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“Do we really need to do this now Tucker?“ Valerie asked for the third time since they decided to hang back in the school's computer room. Tucker was starting to get tired of it. Was it even a good idea for him to be doing this for her? Offering his services, his precious time to her to make sure nothing was going wrong with her suit's operating systems?

After all, just because Valerie was part of team Phantom now doesn't mean she didn't work for Vlad before all this.

Tiredly, Tucker sighed as he got through his own encryption into their private server. Being the IT guy for a group of six very active teenagers was sometimes very rewarding, but most often it was nothing but trouble. Case in point; ”You know my suit does all its diagnostics automatically right?“

”Of course I know that Val, but it's always better to be sure when the tech you're using was made by Vlad. It's nothing personal, really. I just wanna make sure he's not using you to listen in on us or anything.“ Valerie sank back into the school chair she was seated in, but didn't argue with him anymore. Truly a blessing for him.

”Also, if we get that done quick enough, I can see about adding some upgrades to it,“ he added with only a slightly cheeky smirk as he held out the cable that would connect the computer tower to the other teen's suit.

For that Valerie smacked his arm, taking the offered cable with a grumble. ”Nothing personal my ass. You just wanna one up the Frootloop by replacing his tech so he can't use it.”

”And? You're saying you don't wanna piss off Vlad?“

”...Point.“

The sound of clicking keys filled the silence the two fell into, both content to engrose themselves in their own tasks; Tucker pouring himself into his coding and Valerie pulling out her phone to do something Tucker couldn't see.

After an indeterminable amount of time (but not really, Tucker could see the time at the bottom corner of his screen, he just didn't care,) Valerie absently asked, ”when do you think the others are gonna get back with the shakes?

”Dunno, your sensor hasn't gone off at all, so there probably aren't any ghosts keeping them.“

He could see Valerie's frown from the corner of his eye. ”Then they should be back by now, Nasty Burger isn't that far a walk from here.“

Tucker checked the time again, doing the quick mental math to calculate their time to get to the Nasty Burger and back, only for a frown to grace his features too. ”You're right, they should be back by now.“

”You think it is a ghost?“ Valerie asks now, more alert and tucking her phone back into... wherever she’d pulled it out from. Where did she store that? Tucker didn't see any visible pocket seams in her suit.

Refocusing, Tucker closed the coding window he had for the debugging, letting it run on auto in the background, and pulled up the tracking app he installed into each of their phones. A sigh of relief passed Tucker's lips as the app showed Danny's position, nearing the edge of town but still there. Dani and Sam's trackers were stationary around the Nasty Burger’s location, so Tucker could deduce what most likely happened. ”Danny dude's racing on the other side of town right now, probably chasing a ghost. He'd call it in if he needs back up, and the girls are probably just stuck in line, so there's nothing to worry about.“

Valerie didn't look so convinced, but relaxed almost to her previous position anyway. Satisfied with the reaction, Tucker moved his mouse to the taskbar, about to click open the coding program to resume his debugging, when a sudden change of pixels made him pause.

Jazz and Wes' trackers just went offline.

That wouldn't usually be a concern for one of their group, if it weren't Jazz and Wes. Jazz was rearguard for their team, after one too many near misses with an ecto weapon towards the rest of their group she was delegated to medic. And Wes, Wes wasn't even a part of team Phantom. The only reason he even had a tracker was because he was a constant thorn in their side and would not stop pestering them. To Tucker it always seemed like a good idea to know where he was just in case. To see those two of all people going offline so suddenly was more than odd.

Before he could even say anything about it though a klaxon blared from beside him. Hastily he moves to cover his ears, and turns just in time to see Valerie plummet through the floor.

Wait.

Not the floor.

A portal.

Tucker had just enough time to think 'ah shit' before he felt an odd sensation in his stomach -like that of sand falling- before the floor dropped out from under his chair and his vision was filled with green.

Weltschmerz: The Moon & The Tower

hello everyone!!! me, @gremlin-bot, @half-dead-ham, and @bewitched-forest are happy to bring you our Patrol Partners fic! This will be the first part of our first chapter 😊

How posting is going to work. Each chapter, the person who started the chapter is going to post their part. Then the rest of us will reblog with the parts we wrote in order. The final reblogs will be collected at this master post, or you can read it at this ao3 link. Happy reading!!!

The Moon & The Tower | Verse I: Tomorrows problems are happening today.

Clockwork looked into the swirling vortex of violet and electric blue. He willed it to take form, show him what he desires, without a single word. It only took an off handed thought for the image of a young boy to appear.

The boy is curled up in a ball, his carrot colored hair falling into his face. Between his hands he grips a singular worn photo.

Clockwork knew the photo well, even if no other living being does. Clockwork spent maybe just as much time staring at it as the boy.

After all, letting an entire timeline collapse was not an easy decision, no matter how bleak the future.

The moment Clockwork was waiting for comes sooner than he anticipated. Or perhaps he was just losing his edge. It was bound to happen after the first thousand millenia or so.

There was no explosion. No scream, no fight, no speech.

Just a single, silent tear.

Clockwork has seen this moment thousands, if not millions of times. Even if the boy did not understand the significance of this moment in the grand scheme of the cosmos, Clockwork does.

It was much more than a boy trying to swim though immeasurable grief. It was the end of what would have been, and the acceptance of what will be.

Clockwork could feel the universe shake. It trembled in tandem with the breathing of the boy. Each tear was a new rift in the space-time continuum, each gasp a shattering quake.

The Infinite Realms tried to patch herself up, fill in the holes to stop the dimension from completely collapsing in on itself. She was something of a cosmic nurse, the safeguard between multiversal dimensions.

Forever fated to watch and wait. To fix the broken. Give the lost a place in the cosmos.

She is much kinder than he is, Clockwork thinks idly. If she knew what was coming next would she stop it? Probably.

It was a good thing then, that it was up to him. He could make the hard decisions.

Clockwork watches as power surges from one dimension to another. It wouldn’t be long now.

Not long at all.

#Weltschmerz: The Moon & The Tower #patrol partners 2023 #3rd part of chapter 1 #dpxdc #Go to @Sapphic-Starlight for the next bit!

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feynavaley · 3 years ago

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And once again, ladies and gentlemen, I managed to make a complete fool of myself at work... by walking straight into an automatic door. 😭😂 Yes, you read that right. I managed to walk into an automatic door. Smacked my face against it, actually. Of course, that happened in front of plenty of people, too.

#about feyna #whyyyy 😭#why do I keep doing stuff like this??? 😭😭😭#I was looking down at my phone because the app where I stored my green pass wasn't working #(in case anybody isn't italian and doesn't know what's going on in italy -- you can't get to work without the green pass)#(and at my workplace they check that everybody has a valid one right at the entrance)#but I kept walking on because I *knew* the door was automatic #I've walked past that plenty of times #...pity that the automatic door is also kinda slow #way too slow for my brisk place lmfao #and since I wasn't looking I forgot to slow down and just walked face-first into it #pretty hard too #the lady checking my green pass was visibly worried and asked multiple times if I was okay and needed to sit down loool #my forehead still hurts #I can feel a slight bump and I fear there'll be a bruise tomorrow lmao #for now it's just kind of red and my coworkers have told me it isn't noticeable unless I point it out #but I don't think it'll last...#oh and of course since I had to get to work I couldn't put ice or anything against it to avoid the swelling and bruising #I wasn't home until almost 12 hours later #so the bruise and swelling are going to be as bad as they can possibly be lmaoo

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olderthannetfic · 2 years ago

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"It feels like I am always hearing from young monolingual white Americans on this app, and that's the demographic I want to hear from the least."

i mean, you are welcome to your ridiculously reductive opinions but if that is the demographic you want to hear from the least then you probably shouldn't be on social media platforms where it is going to be the most represented by default.

tumblr is US based, and it is a simple fact that because English is the most widely spoken language on the planet and is most commonly used as a 'common' language, people who grow up with English as their first language often don't need to learn another, and becoming fluent in another language gets exponentially more difficult the older you are when you start to learn. children who grow up in multilingual households are going to be much better equipped to speak multiple languages fluently by adulthood than those who don't start learning until they are older.

which isn't to say it can't be done, but unless there's a reason for someone to want to learn (and white americans who grew up here/had generations of their family growing up here are not often going to be the ones who feel a desire to learn a mother language they are so far removed from, even if they have distant ancestry--some may want to connect with their distant past in that way, but it's not a universal drive), it's probably not going to wind up at the top of someone's list of priorities. (although programs such as duolingo are making learning languages easier and more accessible, which is great for people who have a passing interest!) and, for the record, those reasons could range anywhere from 'i just want to learn a second language' to 'i want to be able to read this manga or novel in its original language' or anything in between--but those reasons are gonna be personal and individual and not everyone is gonna have one themselves!

it's like... i'm good at math. numbers make sense in my head. could i probably learn calculus if i sat down and made an effort to learn? yeah, sure. but i don't have much of a reason to, and i have no real desire to learn calculus just for kicks, so it's probably not going to be something i feel like doing out of the blue any time soon. that doesn't mean my opinions should be automatically worth less than someone who learns and practices higher order math for kicks in their spare time. (and this analogy works because learning another language is a skill, just like learning math is a skill, and that is going to be harder for some people than others, which means some would need even more of a driving incentive to surpass that difficulty in order to want to learn it, much less actually apply it and become fluent/skilled.)

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the-eldritch-it-gay · 2 years ago

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I haven't been able to get to prom (idk why, my sim asked her boyfriend, but then when prom time came. nothing happened.) but so far here's my thoughts on Sims 4: High School Years.

SocialBunny

SocialBunny was a feature added. Your sim can add their contacts to it, send them messages that can increase/decrease friendship. Your sim can also make posts, and react to their friends' posts. Better social media in the sims is a good idea, but right now it's just annoying. There's constantly notifications, sims will randomly send mean messages which decrease friendship with their contacts (my sims household is rn an older sister and a teen sister, and they randomly send hateful messages to each other out of nowhere). Your sim can gain followers, but I'm not sure what that does if I'm honest. Currently, the timestamp feature in the app isn't working for me, every post and message says 0 minutes.

In one household I was playing with a young adult sim created before the high school years was released, I tried to do SocialBunny with her, and it was constantly buggy, my sim would never have the new post option, she never gained followers, any sim she added would start posting flirty messages/posts about her. I'm not sure what caused this, if it was a general bug that got patched quickly, or if there was some issue being caused by my sim.

In any case, when properly working this means I nearly constantly see the friendship+/friendship- or romance+ icons over my sims head.

Trendi

Trendi is another "app" on your Sims phone. Here you can buy and sell outfits and check current outfit trends. If you then go to ThrifTea, you can browse the racks and make a fashion look (and unlock/buy CAS items that are only available certain times here). Once you make the look you can wear it, try to promote it, and sell it on Trendi. It costs money to make outfits I believe, and I've struggled to sell many outfits as the listing expires and there ends up being no offers. If you try to hype an outfit, that can backfire and lower the hype. Sometimes when my Sim researches trends, it will say a certain style both has high hype and low hype. Currently my Sim has 2 outfits in her inventory I've been unable to sell.

High School

This is the main point of the expansion. Your teen-aged Sims previously would attend high school by just leaving at 8 and returning home at 3. Now, much like jobs introduced in Get To Work, you can follow your Sim to High School, where they have tasks to complete to have a productive school day. Unlock Get To Work jobs, though, there's a lot of timed things at High School.

A high school day consists of a morning free period, 1st class, lunch, and second class. The free time of the morning and lunch your sim gets a few tasks, (Study for Exam, Workout on Workout Machine/Treadmill, Be Friendly with a Classmate, Be Friendly with Faculty). During class time your sim will automatically do the class event like taking notes or an exam (classes can increase your sims skill level slightly in certain skills which is nice).

The issue of course is the bugs and time limits. The school is quite large with lots of empty space, so walking somewhere takes time. When you only have 1.5/2 hours, walking across a large lot can eat away at that. Not to mention how this can happen autonomously. For example, when I told my sim to study for the exam, she grabbed a book from the bookshelf, then walked across the entire school to sit down and study in the principals office, all the while passing countless chairs/benches. Or issues of trying to talk with a sim, and the sims then walking to the opposite end of the school to talk. Or when my sim went to the bathroom, she then automatically went to a sink on the other side of the school to wash her hands. This is annoying and stressful, because as mentioned, events in high school are timed. The walking distance issue is apparent also because your sim will automatically, 30 minutes prior to class, begin walking to class. And in my experience that usually just about makes it to class sometimes depending on location. My sim joined the after-school activity of cheerleading, and was late to her first meeting because when the clock hit 3:30 in the school (the time for the meeting) it took my sim probably a good 20 minutes or so to leave the school.

The only workaround i've found to make shit manageable was to use the cheat command of teleporting, so I can teleport a sim to where they need to go for a task, but that doesn't fix the autonomous pathfinding.

The only benefit I've found to going to school with the sim is the slight (only a few % points) gain to skills during classes. It's easy to become an A student and at that point I felt like there wasn't anything to do.

Puberty

Body hair is now a thing, it's cool ig. But also My teen sim was made fun of and made insecure because she has arm hair and leg hair and now has to shave it to avoid insecurity. Which sure is realistic but as someone who was and still is harassed about body hair, the insecurity/jokes aren't something I'm keen on. But I'm sure some people out there like the realism of things (hell I like mods that add realism to certain things).

Simfluencer

Theres a part time job as a Simfluencer. I had my young adult sim be a simfluencer. I've maxed out the new Entrepreneur skill, but the lifestyle reviews my sim writes are still of poor quality and I'm not sure how to change that. You can at max get $148 a day, because there are 2 hours of work a day, 5 days a week. You don't gain fame from it, so I guess ideally it works for a teen sim to bring in a little money. Overall though it felt like nothing and even after maxing the promotions (there's only 3 levels of the career) I had my sim switch careers.

Misc

There's a boardwalk area in the new world, it has some food stalls, a ferris wheel, a haunted house, and a tunnel of love. It's not it's own lot, though which is annoying, as I think it would be fun to like, idk, have sims have a first date or hang out with their friends there.

Sims will now randomly barge into your house and demand to be BFFs (yes! even when you're an adult!). I think the update also allowed for proposals like this? As in one household a love interest out of nowhere proposed marriage to my sim, and declining ruined the relationship.

If you want the pack, pirate it or something this isn't worth money.

#Eldritch IT Speaks

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hotdamnmadison · 2 years ago

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How NOT To Get The Girl

I know, I know. I said I would wait to dive back in until tomorrow. But I'm being overpowered by 1.) an overwhelming bout of horniness and 2.) the overwhelming desire to do something artistic. What can I say - the trip up North must've inspired me to put on my writing cap (and a pair of panties) and get back to work.

I wish that this post was as peppy as that introduction. But honestly it's going to go pretty far downhill from here. Don't worry - I'm not going anywhere!

I'm posting this because...

A. If you're reading this and you fit the description of the following people - you should probably navigate off my page - because I'm not interested.

B. I want to see what you (the internet) have to say about these people and if their non-unique style of... well we will call it "pick up lines" or "DM first impressions" - can ACTUALLY ever get them laid.

I should include email addresses. I should include user names. I should include every possible detail that I can... But I am above that. And honestly, exposing these people may just cause more harm than good for me in the long run.

At this point, I find the following laughable. And I've had a great weekend and a nice evening (may have been a little naughty with a toy earlier lol.) So yeah - I'm in a good mood, and I won't let some desperate, pathetically horny man ruin that....

I'm rambling. Here is the shit I am talking about... (NOTE: the following messages are REAL - the email addresses have been replaced by your truly. Don't attempt to email these addresses lol.)

You really have to love when a man has a way with words <3

Or how about this one...

Or maybe this one is the best! (so tempted to put his real email lol.)

Pathetic aren't they? Do you want to know what is even more pathetic? I have hundreds, if not thousands of these sitting in my inbox. I could block them - but it's fun to watch them try. These inquiries (as romantic as they are) are obviously the product of entitlement followed by rejection. And it isn't just rejection from a gender fluid bomb shell like myself. It's rejection from CIS women, trans women, and basically anything they feel entitled to sticking their dicks into.

What's even funnier - I haven't even rejected these fools - they're just automatically out for blood because they've already botched MULTIPLE attempts at talking people of the opposite gender.

But hey - these guys are "alpha males" 😏

Truly laughable... How about a little context though, eh?

Back when I first started my journey into cross dressing, long before I knew about my fluidity, I was eager to meet like minded people. I don't remember where or when - but I was introduced to Double List. Now I've had some great experiences that came directly from my DL ads - so I can't bash the site and write it completely off as being toxic and borderline useless. But for every okay experience that I had while posting personal ads (think craigslist) I had about 100 plus TERRIBLE dead end conversations to show for it.

i.e. the examples above lol.

It's crazy. How something such as sexual frustration can lead to such hurtful words and sentences. That last one for example - was any of that necessary? No. But because this "alpha" keeps falling short in the pussy department - he decides to take it out on someone who didn't do anything to him directly.

I have had to constantly cover my face and other body parts to get by or "pass". It's not ideal, and I've talked a bit about that in my earlier posts as well. Unfortunately, that is the nature of my situation - and it will remain that way until further notice. So rather than lead people astray with things like photoshop and Face App - both of which I have used VERY early in my journey (see the next pic) - I decided to be upfront with my ads and let potential suitors know what they'd be getting into.

Here is what I determined...

Men can't fucking read (some guys can... but most... nope)

Men don't WANT to read

Some men that read can't comprehend what they're reading

The men who successfully read an entire ad don't give a shit about what you (or in this case me) want.

Check this out....

Here are two guys who "successfully" read one of my advertisements (I use successfully very lightly here.) They can tell that they aren't what I am looking for - and so that means that what I want is WRONG. How sad is that? I don't tell them that their desires, ads, etc. are invalid... So why are mine? The best part is the amount of time that these people are spending to harass me (and many like me.)

---

This isn't a pity party. And I'm not looking for sympathy. Quite the opposite actually. I am trying to help you. Yes you! The one guy who does the same shit up above who also somehow read this far (gold star sticker for you!)

Look, this type of behavior isn't going to get you anywhere. Even the people who love dominance still want to be heard. They still want to know you read the post, the ad, the listing, etc. It shows you give a shit about safety, safe words, what TO do and what NOT to do. The world of kinks and BDSM revolves around trust. And when you do the things that these guys do - you're proving that you're a loose cannon, and that you're a high risk individual to partner with.

I actually APPRECIATE when men send these emails. Because I add their email address to a spread sheet and I make a mental note that this person is UNPREDICTABLE and more importantly - unsafe.

I'm sure as my journey continues I will have many more entries that revolve around this same topic - so lets consider this "How NOT To Get The Girl Pt. 1"... And please, try not to make it into my next batch of screen shots ;) I may "forget" to blur the names

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

---------------

My apologies for coming back with such a negative post. I should've started with something a little more soft and positive after returning from the trip. I swear - tomorrow I will get back to the peppy sexy content ;)

Sleep Well Everyone!

#gender fluid #cute crossdreser #dating nightmare #crossdressgirls #cross dressing #my writing

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dailyaudiobible · 4 years ago

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09/10/2020 DAB Transcript

Isaiah 6:1-7:25, 2 Corinthians 11:16-33, Psalms 54:1-7, Proverbs 23:1-3

Today is the 10th day of September welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it is a joy as it is every day to be here together around the Global Campfire, just an oasis, an oasis in life that we can come to, allow the Scriptures to speak into our lives, know that we’re not alone and reorient ourselves for our day, our week, our month, our year, just reorient ourselves to God. And, so, let's do that. We’re reading from the Christian Standard Bible this week and we’re moving our way into the book of Isaiah. I’d say we’re about 10%, 10% into the book of Isaiah, and I guess…if I’m guessing and we’re doing percentages we’re probably about 75% through the letter from Paul to the Corinthians, the one that we’re moving through, second Corinthians. So, let's dive in. Isaiah 6 and 7 today.

Commentary:

Okay. So, we are far enough into the writings of the apostle Paul now and we spent time understanding his ministry in the book of Acts that we’ve kind of gotten to know him and maybe some of our assumptions about him have been reframed a little bit because you kind of come to the Bible with this idea that this early church was just a smooth sailing and the apostle Paul is responsible for so much of the New Testament that he was a revered apostle. And he is a revered apostle at this point but we can see that in the early days, I mean, he was struggling in all directions. And today we can see Paul squirming to some degree, because he's defending himself and he’s defending himself in a way that he doesn't want to be defending himself because defending himself in this way, which is boasting, like basically trying to measure up, like that really doesn’t produce…that doesn't go anywhere good because he’s backed into a corner because of the “super-apostles” that are referred to in this letter. And we talked about that a couple of days ago as we were kinda getting into this territory in the letter that…I mean…Paul established these churches, but people were coming in behind Paul and sharing the gospel and some of these people had some pedigree, whether they were known as super-apostles at the time or not is unknown but it's probably because they had some sort of direct association with Jesus in some sort of way that would give them this kind of credibility. And, so, it automatically makes Paul look less than. And man, this should start sounding familiar because we find ourselves in these the same kinds of situations where we’ve gotta measure up but the only way to measure up is…is to basically toot our own horn, like tell what we've done, how we measure up to and that's where Paul is. And he's…he's like, “Im a Hebrew just like they are. I’m an Israelite just like they are. I’m a descendent of Abram…Abraham just like they are. Are they the servants of Christ? I'm crazy for saying this but I am a bigger better servant of Christ because what I’ve had to go through. I’ve worked tirelessly. I’ve been thrown into prison more than they have. I’ve been beaten a lot more than they have. I’ve faced all of the things that you know I've faced.” So, we can get Paul a couple thousand years ago and go, “okay. I see what's going on there but I also see that…I mean…that it’s still going on in the world, measuring up by comparing each other…comparing ourselves to somebody else is kind of the way of things. It doesn't really lead anywhere, which is why Paul’s like, “I hate that I have to do this.” But the greater point here is that Paul is not having any type of smooth sailing. Like this inauguration of the Good News, this bringing of the gospel into the world, this sharing the story of Jesus isn't…like there's nothing about it that’s easy for him. He has to endure. He is deeply committed enough to Jesus to do whatever he has to do.

And it's not like Paul's the only one that has to endure. Like if we just look at the Psalm that we read today. We have David on the run for his life from King Saul. He has been betrayed by somebody who saw him and betrayed his whereabouts. And, so, now he's in a life and death situation as he was often. And, so he cries out, “come with your power. Rescue me. Defend me. Vindicate me with Your might. Hear me. Listen to the words of my mouth. Strangers are against me. They’re rising up. Violent people intend to kill me. They’re not listening to you, God. They don't let you be their guide.” So, David's enduring.

Like it's so funny how we think that we have some sort of pass and we don't have to learn to endure things, that we don't have to wrestle with our faith or as Paul says in another of his letters, the letter to the Philippians, that we should “work out our salvation…work it out with fear and trembling.” It’s like really difficult to find in any story in the Bible that does not include endurance and perseverance and struggle. And Jesus, our Savior was like, “if the world hates you, you gotta remember it hated me first.”

So, this resistance that we’re seeing in the life of Paul is happening from within the church against him as people are choosing their favorite leaders. And he has to endure this while being an example of Christ to everybody who is questioning him. This isn’t unlike John the Baptist faced. This is like…isn’t unlike what Jesus faced, this isn’t like…this isn’t unlike what most of the early church faced but we all face this. Like, this is human. Like to have resistance in our lives is part of the story of our humanity and no one ever claimed that it wasn't. The Bible doesn't claim that it’s not part of the story. In fact, it assures us that endurance in fact is a major part of the story. It's a necessary part of life. We hate that but it's a necessary part of life. You don't grow strong without resistance. Like…like you can't grow more muscles for your body without resistance. You can't grow strong mentally without facing cognitive dissonance and wrestling through. You can’t grow spiritually strong without having to contend for it. And we’re well far enough into the Bible to have experienced stories of people who just completely caved, melted, buckled and fell apart. And we’re also privy to stories of people who were willing to endure until the very, very last nanosecond of their very very last breath.

So, I know like that…I know this has been a challenging year and it's a challenging time but when is it not? Like when are we not facing some sort of challenge? And mostly we’re like praying for God to make it go away. And maybe we’re just missing the point altogether. Maybe we shouldn't be praying for God to make it go away. Maybe we should be praying for God to make us stronger…like stronger in this, that like…like that what seems like it's going to bowl us over today is going to seem like nothing a year from now so the things that once terrified us we just see as kind of normal because we endured, we have mastered, we have overcome, we are stronger than we were because we endured whatever was necessary. So, this resistance is not purposeless. Like it's not just a waste of our time and a diminishment of our experience of life. It is actually making us wise and strong and resolute and confident in our God and bold in the message of faith. If you've endured and you've lived through it, then you have convictions that…well you have moral authority to speak about it in ways that are totally different than if it's just a theoretical concept. What we have actually lived through and into is who we are. And, so, what story are we telling?

Prayer:

Father we invite You into that. Even as we see a couple of examples in the Scriptures today of endurance of difficulty of squirming even, trying to figure out how to navigate, how to navigate being compared which is so unhelpful. And, so, we take these lessons that we see in the Scriptures, these examples that we see in the Scriptures, and we realize they are Your guidance. These are examples. This is where the roads go. Holy Spirit come, open our eyes that we might see the path that we are walking and make the adjustments necessary. Make us stronger Lord, we pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, it’s the website, it’s where you find out what's going on around here. So, certainly stay tuned, stay connected.

Definitely stay connected in the Community section of the…of the website or…or the app, to the Prayer Wall. I’ve…I’ve said…I mean I'll say it a thousand more times, I’ve said it a lot over the years, sometimes when we are at our lowest reaching out is the one thing that lifts us out of that. And there is just no shortage of people that just need, that just need prayer, that just need to be remembered. There is no shortage of…I don't know if you've noticed but there's like no shortage of things that we need God's intervention on. And, so, reaching out the Prayer Wall is…is one great way just to keep moving forward no matter what's going on. So, check that out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, if what's happening here is life-giving and meaningful to you than thank you, thank you for your partnership. There is a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you’re using the app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner, or the mailing address, if you prefer, is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you've a prayer request or encouragement the Prayer Wall…the Prayer Wall is certainly a place to go but you can also hit the hot line button in the app and just begin to share from there or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hello DAB family this is a Prayer Warrior from Tennessee I’ve been listening for three years but this is the first time that I’ve called in. And to be honest I’ve I felt a little prompt in me to call for a while and just have been pushing back against that. Thank you, Brian and all the team that…that puts this thing together. It’s been such an encouragement to me, and I’ve been praying behind the scenes for this. I desperately could use prayer and my wife. My wife has been battling, what we’ve recently found out to be a chronic illness for the past nine years at least the nine years of our marriage and…and I’m worn out and she’s worn out and we’re struggling financially and there’s a lot that is weighing on my shoulders and I just need prayer is a restoration for me, for her, prayers for wisdom and for focus, prayers for provision for our family and protection from temptation to…for me to fall back into some past sin habits as coping mechanisms for everything that we’re going through. So, we’re just…appreciate your prayers for us during the season. I’m lifting up the…the prayer requests that come in and I’m trusting God is going to…to answer and hear but just feel so weary and I know he’s there but don’t feel Him at times and just I know I’m supposed to reach out to you guys. So, I thank you for your faithfulness and lifting up the prayer requests and know that I’m…I’m praying for you. God bless. Thank you.

[singing starts] Hallelujah He has one the victory. Hallelujah He has one it all for me. Death could not hold you down. You are the risen King. See what a Majesty. You are the risen King [singing stops]

I received a full day’s pay for one hours work and a lot of people got upset and called the boss a jerk but I’m thankful for his mercy his generosity’s great because there’s nothing I’ve done to deserve such a fate the earth is the Lords and the fullness thereof he says I am that I am when I give out my love I rain on the righteous I rain on the thief both of their problems and I give both of them relief it’s not about them or the things that they do my grace is sufficient for them and for you I am the potter in you are the clay complain all you want it will still be my way nothing you’ve done is deserving of love when I look what I see is my son from up above his blood is your garment it’s his blood I see he gave up his life to bring you to me so sit back and relax secure in my grace because if you know my son then you’re in the right place complaining and grumbling are what humans do some folks are happy but those folks are few the prize goes to those who endure to the end but all of you are my children and I love you Amen thank you dear Lord I could never repay I worked for one hour and got paid for the whole day

[email protected] I’d like to give a shout out to my buddy bighearted Ben and his mother from Pennsylvania and I’d also like to give a shout out to Drew from the Bay Area haven’t heard from you in a while hope you’re still hanging in there brother. Know you’re all loved and prayed for daily. And once again Brian and the Hardin family thank you for this wonderful podcast for God’s Holy Spirit to flow. Keep it flowing y’all. All right. Bye-bye.

Hi DAB community I’m calling in I’ve been a longtime listener. I’ve been feeling more led that I should be calling in more frequently. I’ve only called in three times in 15 years. So, I wanted to come up with a name though that was fitting based on what the Lord thinks of me and not what I think of me. So, I’ve thought long and hard. I reviewed…actually I spent some time reviewing journaling that I’ve done over the past two decades and really the themes are, you know, longing to live into and through my identity in Christ, really to understand who He says that I am and not living under condemnation because it’s so easy to just be myself up, and to stop turning to food instead of God in times of stress and all times. That’s my vice. So, the name I’ve chosen is Princess Warrior Karen. So, let us pray. Lord God I pray that I and all in the Daily Audio Bible family, not only come to know our identity in Christ but we will walk and live into it and out of it. Help us to truly live as forgiven in love sinners made whole by Christ. Help us to know that we are warriors. You have and will prepare us for every battle. O Lord so often we walk around defeated not because we are but because we failed to armor up. Today Lord help us to live as the prince or princess warriors that we are, protect us from the enemy, help us to walk away from the idols whatever they may be – food, drugs, lust, alcohol - that bind us Lord and help us to walk in Your freedom. This is Princess Warrior Karen saying armor up all.

Hey family this is Work in Progress here in California. Please pray for our state. It’s on fire. My parents just evacuated the…my childhood home up in the mountains. Fire’s kind of pressing in and there’s already been some little communities, little town called the Big Creek, I don’t think there’s anything left of it. I think the fire swept through their and fire’s…communities like Shaver Lake are also like…well…they’re burning and…and people are fleeing. And so far, it sounds like people are…are safe for the most part but I just pray that these fires are extinguished. And, so, if you could do that, I would appreciate it. We would all appreciate it. We still got a lot of fire season left and we do need…we need the Lord’s miraculous hand to put these fires out. So, thank you.

Hey, DABbers this is Slave of Jesus in North Carolina. Alright Holy Spirit was roll. So, I’m gonna maybe finish testimony but also give some praise reports. I don’t do that very often. You know, hard-core atheist and I’ll…I’ll take the title prayer warrior. But, you know, coming to the DAB as an atheist I had never prayed. I mean…I think I’d only heard a few graces from the Catholic family across the street when I ate dinner at their house, but I just listened to the DAB and we had, you know, some old-school prayer warriors like from Maryland and Oklahoma City and we had a cop from Georgia and this guy Drew from the Bay area and a teacher in LA but there are whole bunch of others but they were calling in praying for people. And, so, I just kind of emulated them and I just started praying for every single caller as many people do who don’t even call in and I would just ask before, you know start praying, I’d ask the Holy Spirit and just what do I need to say about this and I’d start my prayers and I pray alongside with those. So, those are my first couple years of the DAB. I’ve been able to see my younger daughter come to Christ and even got baptized last year. I stopped calling my wife and oldest daughter atheists and lo and behold within a year they both had medical steers and they told me face-to-face they are not atheists but I can’t even tell you all the changes that have happened in my life from not having the having a single Bible to theirs Bible Daily Audio Bible everywhere Bibles everywhere in my house and again it’s not your outward appearance it’s…it’s your inward but all the DVDs that were R-rated are gone. I mean here’s the best example or praise report. The other day my wife who would normally make me shut off all my Christian music asked Alexa to play “you say” and she started singing the song “you say” and then my younger daughter started singing with her “you say”. And for those of you who know the long story that is a huge praise report. So, love you all. Have a great day.

Good morning DAB family this is Summon Solomon from Hydro Bird India. I pray the sister who has…she has…one her of her sons lapsed into drugs. My son only the most-high can give you the most high and look to the most high for your highs. And there is nothing so rewarding as to have the favor of the Lord and you can feel the favor wash over you. And I pray the anointing of God be strong in your life so that you don’t relapse into drugs ever again. And I can give you my yes, my word, that…that the life in which God is there, whose God is present is in ever present reality is far far better than that…than that which drugs can give you. Please don’t take the drug you get a little used to it and you need more of the drug each time. If not each time after some price you need some more of the drug to give you the same high. So, I pray you stop using drugs and I pray for meaningful relationships to come your way so you can be bolstered by the relationship…

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dezzydoesthings · 7 years ago

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Posting as a picture because answering asks on Tumblr app is hell. (It actually crashed on me ugh)

Anyway, anon, to answer your question, the reasons I hate Three Kings are many.

First, Yusuke goes from killing a doctor that tortures humans with experiments and struggling with killing Doctor Kamiya to being like "oh you eat humans ok no biggie" to Hokushin? I'm sorry, what? Why? Because you found out you have demon blood? That is not a good enough reason for that kind or personality shift. My respect for Yusuke plummeted after that scene and it never really recovered. Like when he was whining while fighting Yomi I was just like bitch please whatever. I'm not sure what message Togashi was trying to convey, maybe identity crisis, but it just didn't work for me.

Kurama served no purpose whatsoever other than to be guilted and led around and threatened. His episodes are so boring I actually fell asleep while watching them and no I didn't go back and rewatch them. So I'll give fox boy a pass because I honestly don't remember his stuff. But I think his was identity crisis too so maybe that's the theme of Three Kings.

Which brings me to Hiei. Ugh. Other than the flub with the English dub, which I mentioned in the post you asked me about - and now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure I know what Funimation was trying to do. They were trying to put in a clue that Yukina knows who her brother is without blatantly stating it. Not like they could have Yukina nonchalantly say it during a scene at the DT. Like "oh btw I totally know Hiei is my brother - go Yusuke!" And have no one react to it. I mean, this isn't Ghost Stories! (Props to all that know that anime)

So my big problem with Hiei in 3k is...Mukuro. I stated why I don't like that ship at all in a previous post of mine. I can't link on an app so I'll post some text from it,

"Now, I wanted to like this chick. At first she seems pretty cool. They even take shots at each other. Her making a joke at him and he even insulted her, calling her a mummy. So Hiei. Seemed like he could handle her well enough.

And then we find out his past, and when we’re done seething and sobbing, we find out hers.

You know, as she strips naked and mind rapes him.

Lemme explain why I have issue with this. Hiei is not the type of guy to have sympathy for someone out of nowhere when he BARELY KNOWS THEM. This is a total stranger. Are we supposed to believe because she’s had a bad life and is all like “oh Hiei I understand your pain because I had bad shit happen to me too and killed to make it stop too” that Hiei will automatically bond with her?

He’s from Demon World, where violence is normal. The world itself smells like death. He says so to Yusuke.

Sooo, someone else tried to cure their pain with blood…in a world where probably 80% of people are doing just that.

So what? I’m sorry but that would be an in character reaction for Hiei. Like “wow, too bad for you. What does this have to do with me?”

Also Mukuro having a bad past and Hiei having sympathy right away and falling for her is EVERY OOC FANFIC WITH AN OC WE HAVE EVER READ.

And no I don’t expect Hiei to get goo goo eyed every time Mukuro speaks like Kuwabara does with Yukina, but flirting? Like Yusuke and Keiko? Something?

So, I maybe would have been more willing to accept this if we had seen the relationship grow at all. Been given reasons more than “oh they both have bad pasts.”

I’d be more willing, even though I don’t ship it, to believe Hiei and Kurama, because we SEE the bond. We FEEL it.

I feel more emotion in Hieibara fics than Himuku! Why? Because Hiei and Kuwabara actually have chemistry on screen!

We get one episode for their “romance.” One. And in the Japanese version, the romantic “feel” Funimation tried to give it is not there at all.

Yes, there is a connection. No doubt. It just feels forced and fake on the romance part."

So basically I would have liked her maybe if we see them have a connection like with Yusuke and Keiko. Even though Kuwabara and Yukina don't have too many scenes together, you can see they have a connection! Something more than "lemme strip naked while you're incapacitated and can't do anything."

So, by the time I got to the final episode, i was like thank goodness it's over. Do I love Yu Yu Hakusho? YES. The last season just rubs me the wrong way.

And hey, the same thing happened to me with another show, Once Upon a Time. They went down hill pretty much after season 3 but I stayed because I loved them so much. This last season has been complete trash and I'm only sticking around to see how they fix my favorite otp. That's it. And I'm relieved it's ending.

So I can still love a show but hate one season or moments in it. I am glad YYH had a happy ending, probably the best in any anime I've seen.

Anyway, rant over. Thanks for the ask!

#yu yu hakusho #yyh #ask #yusuke #kurama #kuwabara #hiei #three kings #season 4 #long post #anonymous #anon

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mbaljeetsingh · 5 years ago

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Getting Started with React - A modern, project-based guide for beginners (including hooks!)

So you want to learn React eh? This guide will walk through everything you need to know when getting started with React. We'll get set up, explain the "hows and whys" behind the basic concepts, and build a small project which pulls data from an API to see everything in action.

This will be a long one, so skip/re-read sections as you need using the "Jump to Section" links below. With that out of the way, grab a drink, buckle up, and let's get started.

Jump to Section

Prerequisites

You don't need to know any React before reading. There are a few things you will need to be familiar with if you want to get the most out of this getting started with React guide:

Basic JavaScript

React is a JavaScript library, so it makes sense to know JavaScript before learning React right? Don't worry, you won't need to know JavaScript inside out - you only need to know the basics:

Variables, functions, data types

Arrays and Objects

ES6 Syntax (using let & const, Arrow Functions, Destructuring Assignment, classes, importing/exporting, etc)

How JavaScript is used to manipulate the DOM

Basic HTML

In React, we use what's called JSX to create the HTML for our webpages. We'll explain JSX in depth later, for now make sure you have a good foundation when it comes to HTML:

How to structure HTML (how to nest elements and so on)

HTML attributes (i.e "id", "class", "onclick" and so on)

Subscribe to get my latest book "React-Ready JavaScript" which will help you get ramped up on the JavaScript you need before getting started with React!

Development Environment

The first thing we're going to do is set up a development environment. If you already setup Node.js and installed Visual Studio Code (or your preferred IDE), you can go ahead and skip to the next section [ADD LINK TO NEXT SECTION HERE]

Node.js

Go here and download the right package for your OS (Mac/windows etc)

When the installation completes, open a terminal and type this command:

node -v

This should show output the version of node you just installed:

This means that the node command works and node has installed successfully - hurray! If you see any errors, try reinstalling Node from the package you downloaded and retry the command again.

Visual Studio Code

Visual studio code is a popular open-source IDE that works well for frontend development. There are a bunch of others you can try - see what your favourite is and download that if you prefer. For now, we'll run with VS Code.

Click here and download the version for your platform:

Follow the installation steps, and you should be good to go. Go ahead and fire up Visual Studio Code.

That's enough development setup for now. There are other nice things you can install (VS Code extensions etc) but we don't need those right now -We're here to learn React!

Creating a React App

The next step is to create a React project. Lucky for us, the fine folk at Facebook have made this really simple. All we have to do is run a command within our terminal:

npx create-react-app my-app

This creates a project for us called "my-app" and sets everything up automatically. Pretty cool.

Go ahead and open up a terminal in the directory you want to create your app, e.g a "projects" folder, and run the command. Let the terminal do its thing, and after a while, this will complete and show you some commands:

Notice the create-react-app output has told us what we need to do to start the app. Go ahead and run the commands in your terminal:

cd my-app yarn start

This will start a development server and open up a web browser for you:

You've just set up your first React App! If you want to learn more about what's going on, (check out the "create-react-app" GitHub:)[https://github.com/facebook/create-react-app]

Exploring Create React App

Open up Visual Studio code (or whatever IDE you installed) and select File > Open… and select the my-app folder that was just created for us using create-react-app. This will open up our shiny new react app in the IDE, so we can write some code!

You should see the project structure to the right:

Look at all that stuff! Don’t worry too much about a lot of it, it’s mostly boilerplate code and config that we won’t be touching too much in this tutorial — phew! However since you’re a curious developer, let’s have a look at the project tree and see what we have:

Node Modules

This is where our packages go that we install through NPM (Node Package Manager). If you’re not familiar with NPM, it’s a glorious place where we can share code (usually open source) that other developers can use instead of writing their own.

Instead of using script tags like we do in traditional HTML, we install these modules as part of the application. Then, we use an import statement to access the code from that module. We’ll see this in action later.

Public Folder

This is where our bundled code goes. When we are ready to deploy our app, we run a ** build script**and the final files go in here. This will typically be our HTML, JavaScript, and CSS files. This is the folder we dump onto a web server somewhere, so that we can let users see our app via a URL

Index.html

The index.html is the entry point, or the first thing the web browser loads when a user navigates to the URL hosting our app.

If we look at the file, it’s a just a normal HTML file with normal HTML stuff that you will hopefully be familiar with. If we look at the body — it’s empty. React will dynamically convert our React code into HTML and load it here, in the “root” div.

With that out of the way, let’s look at the juicy parts — the code.

Our First Component

Open up App.js from the project tree. This is the Main component in our application. This is the first component to get rendered. It’s the “big cheese” of components.

The first thing we’re going to do in our big cheese component is delete everything, and build our very own component from scratch, to better understand what’s going on.

Now that we have a nice blank slate to play with we will start by importing react. This brings the React library into scope and gives us access to all the lovely features:

import React from "react";

Next we will declare a function. We’ll use ES6 arrow functions here. That’s more or less what a “component” is - a function with some logic and markup. We’re also going to export this function so we can use it elsewhere:

const App = () => { } export default App;

Within our function we want to write return(). This is what get’s returned from this component, and contains our markup which gets converted and rendered as HTML.

Finally let’s add a <div> with a <h1> title tag. Our finished component looks like this:

import React from "react"; const App = () => { return ( <div> <h1>Hello React World</h1> <h2> This is our first React App - isn't it marvellous?! </h2> </div> ); } export default App;

Now you’re probably thinking woah! HTML in a function? What is this madness? Even though it looks like HTML, it’s actually something called JSX (JavaScript XML). This basically allows us to mix JavaScript and HTML together.

This might seem a bit strange. We originally learned front end development by separating our HTML and JavaScript (and even CSS). Yet JavaScript and the way we design apps has evolved, and keeping everything together in the same “component” makes it easier to maintain and reuse our code.

Let’s see this in action. Open your terminal and run

npm start

This should open the browser and you should see the app running.

Congrats! You’ve just created your first component!

JSX

You probably have some question marks floating above your head when thinking about this JSX thing. Let’s take a deeper look into this.

return ( <div> <h1>Hello React World</h1> <h2> This is our first React App - isn't it marvellous?! </h2> </div> );

This looks like HTML, but it’s not. This is JSX! Even though it looks like normal HTML, what’s happening behind the scenes is that React is creating the element tree, using this syntax:

React.createElement(component, props, ...children)

component: The HTML element you wish to created, i.e h1, div etc

props: any props you wish to pass to that component (we’ll talk about props later)

children: An array of HTML elements that are nested within this element

So, the same component we have just created can be written as so:

const App = () => { return ( React.createElement( "div", null, React.createElement("h1", null, "Hello React World"), React.createElement( "h2", null, "This is our first React App - isn't it marvellous?!" ) ) ); }

Which looks a bit nasty (it was even nastier trying to type it out). If you trace through it carefully, you can see we are creating a div element, which has no props (indicated by passing null as a second argument). Lastly we are creating 2 more elements using the createElement syntax - our H1 and our H2 elements.

If you’ve been playing with JavaScript for a while, you might have noticed that this is similar to document.createElement. And it is! This is a JavaScript library after all!

This is the advantage of JSX in React - it lets us write HTML like syntax, without the messy React.createElement() stuff.

In the real world, React developers almost exclusively use JSX to write their code. No, this section wasn’t a waste of time - it’s always good to understand what happens under the hood. Knowledge is power (and less questions in my inbox)!

Making things dynamic

So we’ve seen JSX, and gotten over our fear of it (hopefully). But what’s the point? Why use this JSX thing, when we could just use HTML? They look the same? Right?

Good question my friend! Well, if we remember what JSX stands for - JavaScript XML. This means we can use JavaScript to make things dynamic. Our previous example looks like so:

const App = () => { return ( <div> <h1>Hello React World</h1> <h2>This is our first React App - isn't it marvellous?!</h2> </div> ); }

Now let’s say we want to make our text more dynamic. Firstly let’s add a variable to hold our message:

cont message = "This is my first variable rendered in JSX!"

Now to add JavaScript to this, we use ** curly braces**:

const App = () => { const message = "This is my first variable rendered in JSX!"; return ( <div> <h1>Hello React World</h1> <h2>{message}</h2> </div> ); }

If you run this in the browser, you’ll notice the text of our message variable appears. Go ahead and change the message variable text to something else and watch the magic happen.

We use curly braces to tell the compiler “execute this code as JavaScript”. If we didn’t have curly braces, the message variable wouldn't get executed as JavaScript and instead, the text “message” would appear on the screen. Try this out and see!

Handling Events

The same approach can be taken when with handling events. When using JSX, React gives us access to event listeners you may already be familiar with: onClick, onPress, onSubmit and so on.

Let’s say we want to display an alert when the message is clicked. Firstly, we add the onClick property to our h2 tag.

The onClick property accepts a function (in other words, we pass a function as an argument. This function will call the alert like so:

const App = () => { const message = "This is my first variable rendered in JSX!"; return ( <div> <h1>Hello React World</h1> <h2 onClick={()=> alert("you clicked the message!")}>{message}</h2> </div> ); }

Notice how we use a arrow function here to create a nice, concise inline function. If you’re not familiar with this syntax, make sure to checkout my book where I cover this and more here.

Again, notice how we have put this code within curly braces, to ensure the function gets executed as JavaScript.

Calling functions

So we looked at inline functions in the last example. Since JSX is JavaScript, we can create and reference functions outside of the return block. Our last example could look like this:

Notice how we created a function called handleClick which alerts the message. Instead of using an inline function, we reference this function in our onClick property. Try this out and see what happens.

These are just some examples as to how we can use JavaScript to make things dynamic, and hopefully shows you the power of JSX. We’ll deepen our understandings later as we build out an example, so don't worry if some things don’t make sense just yet!

How a Component gets Rendered

Hopefully I’ve cleared up some of the questions you might have around JSX. The next thing you might be wondering is — how does a component get rendered? Where? When?

Let’s start at the beginning. If you look back to our file structure we have an index.js file. This is the first file to run (we often call this an “Entry Point”). This is typically by convention — you can change the entry point if you want, but for now we’ll leave it alone.

If we dig into the file, you’ll notice we have this line:

ReactDOM.render(<App />, document.getElementById("root"));

Notice we have document.getElementById(“root”) - finally some normal looking JavaScript! This gets the root element from the DOM using plain ol’ JavaScript, and renders our App Component within it. Our App component is imported like so:

import App from "./App"

Remember we exported our app component in App.js. This lets other files/components import and use our App component.

So where does the root element come from? Well, remember our index.html file in the public folder? This index.html file is the first HTML file to get loaded when the website loads

Within it we have a div with an ID of root, which is empty. This is where React loads our components. Let’s have a look at this in the dev tools.

Open up Chrome (or whatever browser you use) and inspect the dev tools. You’ll see somewhere in the tree a div with id=“root”, as well as the HTML rendered from our App component. Pretty cool!

Quick Summary

Before moving on, let’s quickly summarise what we’ve learned so far:

We have an index.html file, which is the skeleton of our web app

When the app starts, index.html loads, and imports our App Component

The JSX in the App component get’s converted to HTML, which is then rendered in the index.html file at the root div

Now that we have our feet wet with React, and have a better understanding of how things fit together, let’s build an example application using what we have learned so far. We’ll also learn some common React features that will help you well on to the road to getting started with React. Let’s go!

Our contacts list will display a number of a contacts, including their name, email, age and avatar (or, profile image). We’ll build this up gradually, eventually pulling data from an API. How exciting!

Get the styles

Since this is a React tutorial, we’re going to focus on the inner workings of React and not worry about creating nice styles. In your source folder, create a new file styles.css and paste in the following code:

.contact-card { display: flex; padding: 10px; color: #ffffff; background-color: rgb(42, 84, 104); font-family: "Segoe UI", Tahoma, Geneva, Verdana, sans-serif; box-shadow: 10px 10px 25px -16px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.75); border-radius: 10px; max-width: 500px; max-height: 125px; margin-bottom: 10px; } .contact-card p { margin-left: 10px; margin-top: 0; } button { margin-left: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; }

Next, go into App.js and import the stylesheet like so:

import "./styles.css";

While we’re still in App.js, let’s add the basic JSX to get our layout for the contact card in place. Remove everything from the return statement and add the following:

<div className="contact-card"> <img src="https://via.placeholder.com/150" alt="profile" /> <div className="user-details"> <p>Name: Jenny Han</p> <p>Email: [email protected]</p> <p>Age: 25</p> </div> </div>

All we’re doing here is creating a div to “wrap” the contact card details, adding an image (the image will use a placeholder taken from the web for now), and adding a few p tags to hold the details we need in the contact card. Finally we’re adding some CSS classes taken from styles.css;

NOTE: to reference CSS classes, we need to use the className keyword. This is because we are writing JSX, and “class” is a reserved word in JavaScript.

Here’s what we have so far in our App.js file:

import React from "react"; import "./styles.css"; const App = () => { return ( <div className="contact-card"> <img src="https://via.placeholder.com/150" alt="profile" /> <div className="user-details"> <p>Name: Jenny Han</p> <p>Email: [email protected]</p> <p>Age: 25</p> </div> </div> ); }

If you run this in the browser, you should see something similar to the following:

OK so we have our contact card! However it’s not very reusable. We know that we are going to need to reuse this code if we want to render more than one card, so it makes sense to break this out into it’s own component

NOTE - To make it easier to follow, I am going to a put all the components we make into App.js . In the real world it would be better to split these different components into their own files, and import/export them where appropriate.

Just beneath the App function, create a new function called ContactCard, and copy the JSX from App to ContactCard like so:

const ContactCard = () => { return ( <div className="contact-card"> <img src="https://via.placeholder.com/150" alt="profile" /> <div className="user-details"> <p>Name: Jenny Han</p> <p>Email: [email protected]</p> <p>Age: 25</p> </div> </div> ); };

Again, a component in React is just a function that returns some JSX. Now that we’ve moved our JSX to the ContactCard we can use this component within our main App component:

const App = () => { return ( <> <ContactCard /> </> ); }

We use our own components like any old HTML/JSX tag. We just put the name of our component in angle brackets. Our App.js file should look like this:

// App.js import React from "react"; import "./styles.css"; const App = () => { return ( <> <ContactCard /> </> ); }; const ContactCard = () => { return ( <div className="contact-card"> <img src="https://via.placeholder.com/150" alt="profile" /> <div className="user-details"> <p>Name: Jenny Han</p> <p>Email: [email protected]</p> <p>Age: 25</p> </div> </div> ); };

Now if you run this in the browser, things will look the same as they did before - which is what we want. We now have a ContactCard component that we can use as many times as we like:

const App = () => { return ( <> <ContactCard /> <ContactCard /> <ContactCard /> </> ); };

Update the App component to include another 2 ContactCard components. The above example will render 3 contact cards in the browser. Go and check it out!

Think of this like a “stamp” on the page. Every ContactCard component we add is another “stamp” and renders the same markup on the page

Let’s talk about State - the useState Hook

If you’ve been getting started with React already, you may have heard of the term state. State is quite a big deal in React. So what is it?

State is basically an object that represents a part of an app that can change, which the UI “reacts” to. State can be anything; objects, booleans, arrays, strings or integers

Let’s take an example.

Some people who appear in our contact list are shy and do not want their age being displayed until a button is clicked. We can store whether the age should be shown or not in state by using the useState hook within the component. Which looks like this:

const [showAge, setShowAge] = useState(false);

“what the hell is going on here?” Let me explain.

The useState object gives us a variable with the current value, and a function that lets us change that value. When we call useState we can define an initialvalue (in this case, false).

We use destructuring assignment on the useState hook to get these. You don’t have to worry about destructuring assignment right now, just remember that the first variable lets us access the state value, the second one lets us change it.

Go ahead and add the above code snippet to the ContactCard component like so:

const ContactCard = () => { const [showAge, setShowAge] = useState(false); return ( <div className="contact-card"> <img src="https://via.placeholder.com/150" alt="profile" /> <div className="user-details"> <p>Name: Jenny Han</p> <p>Email: [email protected]</p> <p>Age: 25</p> </div> </div> ); };

Now we have a state object, how do we use it? Well, we can reference the showAge variable like any other variable. In this case, we want to _only show the age if the showAge variable is true.

We can do this using the ternary operator :

{showAge === true ? <p>Age: 25</p> : null}

This example reads as if the showAge variable is true, render the age, if not, render nothing.

Go ahead and add this to the ContactCard component, like so:

Now, if you run the app in the browser, you’ll see the age disappears - that’s because our showAge variable has been initialised with false. If we initialise our showAge variable with true:

const [showAge, setShowAge] = useState(true);

The age will appear on the contact card. Nice! Although, its not great — we don’t want to change the code whenever we want to show the age on the contact card!

Before we look at how to dynamically change our showAge variable, lets tidy the code a bit. Go ahead and replace this line:

{showAge === true ? <p>Age: 25</p> : null}

With:

{showAge && <p>Age: 25</p> }

This gives the same result, just in a more concise way.

TIP: Shorten code where it makes sense to, don’t feel like you have to shorten every line of code you write! Readability should come first.

Updating State

Ok back to updating state. If we remember back, the useState() hook gives us a function to update the state. Let’s wire this up to a button, which, when clicked, will toggle showing the age on the contact card.

We can do this with the following:

<button onClick={() => setShowAge(!showAge)}> Toggle Age </button>

What this is doing is calling the setShowAge function (which we get from the useState hook) to change the value of show age to the opposite of what it currently is.

NOTE: I’m using the Arrow Function syntax here to pass a function to the onClick property. If you’re not familiar we this, a quick reminder that you can get my [book where I discuss the important bits of JavaScript to know before React here].

When the state updates, React will re-render the component and since the value of showAge is true, the age will be displayed.

If the user clicks the button again, this will set showAge to false, React will re-render the component, and the age will be hidden:

Look at our fancy toggle in action!

TIP: Whenever the components state changes, React will re-render the component with the new state

Notice how even though we have 3 ContactCard components being rendered, when we click the button the age only displays for one of the cards, and not all of them. This is because state belongs to the individual component. In other words, each ContactCard component that renders is a copy, and has its own state/data.

Introducing Props

So now we have a lovely new ContactCard component that we’re reusing a few times. Although its not really reusable, since the name, email, age and avatar are the same for each of our components. Oh dear! We can make this data more dynamic with what are called props.

Since you’re just getting started with React, you can think ofProps as data that gets passed to a component, which the component can then use. For example, we can pass in our avatar , ** email**, name and age as props to our Contact Card component like so:

As you can see, we define a prop by giving it a name. Eg. name and using the equals to assign some value to that prop e.g Jenny Han.

We can have as many props as we want, and we can name these props whatever we want, so they’re pretty flexible.

Props can hold different types of data, i.e strings, numbers, booleans, objects, arrays and so on.

NOTE: Props must be defined using quoted text (e.g name=“Jenny Han”) or within braces (e.g age={25}. If we leave out the braces for anything other than strings things start to break - age=25 );

Go ahead and replace the current ContactCard components within our App component with the following:

All we’re doing here is passing the data that the component needs to each component as props. Notice how the data is different for each component.

Using Props within a component

We’ve sent a bunch of props down to the ContactCard component, so let’s tell the ** ContactCard** how to use them.

Until now, our ** ContactCard** function doesn’t accept any parameters. React, being the magical thing that it is, automatically puts all our props into a lovely props object, that gets passed into the component:

const ContactCard = props => { //...other code };

Notice the props variable. This is an object containing the props we defined previously. We can access our defined props by using the dot notation like so:

const ContactCard = props => { console.log(props.avatar); console.log(props.name); console.log(props.email); console.log(props.age); //...other code };

Finally, we want to replace the hardcoded values in our JSX, with the values we receive from the props:

return ( <div className="contact-card"> <img src={props.avatar} alt="profile" /> <div className="user-details"> <p>Name: {props.name}</p> <p>Email: {props.email}</p> <button onClick={() => setShowAge(!showAge)}>Toggle Age </button> {showAge && <p>Age: {props.age}</p>} </div> </div> );

Notice how we have set the image source using whatever value we received from props. We did similar for name, email, and age. Also notice how we wrap this code in curly braces, so it gets executed as JavaScript.

Our final App.js file looks like this:

// App.js const App = () => { return ( <> <ContactCard avatar="https://via.placeholder.com/150" name="Jenny Han" email="[email protected]" age={25} /> <ContactCard avatar="https://via.placeholder.com/150" name="Jason Long" email="[email protected]" age={45} /> <ContactCard avatar="https://via.placeholder.com/150" name="Peter Pan" email="[email protected]" age={100} /> </> ); }; const ContactCard = props => { const [showAge, setShowAge] = useState(false); return ( <div className="contact-card"> <img src={props.avatar} alt="profile" /> <div className="user-details"> <p>Name: {props.name}</p> <p>Email: {props.email}</p> <button onClick={() => setShowAge(!showAge)}> Toggle Age </button> {showAge && <p>Age: {props.age}</p>} </div> </div> ); };

If you run this in the browser, you should see something similar to this:

Hurray! Our component works the same as before, but its now more dynamic. We can reuse the same ContactCard but passing in different data - whilst keeping the layout, styles, and state objects the same.

Rendering components from a List

Our contacts list is coming along nicely, we have some well crafted, reusable code so time to leave it alone right? Wrong! Let’s take it a step further.

In a real application, data usually comes in the form of an array of data, e.g after an API call. Let’s pretend we’ve made an API call to retrieve some users from a database and have received the following data:

const contacts = [ { name: "Jenny Han", email: "[email protected]", age: 25 }, { name: "Jason Long", email: "[email protected]", age: 45 }, { name: "Peter Pan", email: "[email protected]", age: 100 } ];

Paste this into the App() component at the top of the function. The eagled eye amongst you will notice how this data is similar to what we already have. But how we we turn this data into ContactCard components? Well, remember all those days you spent learning how to loop over an array using .map()? Now is the day we put that into action!

To display a list of components, we:

Loop over the array using .map()

For each item in the array, create a new ContactCard component

Pass the data from each object in the array to the ContactCard component as props

Let’s see how this works. In our appApp() component, replace the return statement with this:

return ( <> {contacts.map(contact => ( <ContactCard avatar="https://via.placeholder.com/150" name={contact.name} email={contact.email} age={contact.age} /> ))} </> );

As you can see, we map over the array. For each object in the array, we want to create a new ContactCard component. For the props, we want to take the name, email, and age from the current object the map function is on. In other words, from the contact variable.

NOTE: I’ve left the “avatar” prop alone, as this is the same for now - it’ll change later in the tutorial

And that’s it! Our App.js file looks like this:

//App.js const App = () => { const contacts = [ { name: "Jenny Han", email: "[email protected]", age: 25 }, { name: "Jason Long", email: "[email protected]", age: 45 }, { name: "Peter Pan", email: "[email protected]", age: 100 }, { name: "Amy McDonald", email: "[email protected]", age: 33 } ]; return ( <> {contacts.map(contact => ( <ContactCard avatar="https://via.placeholder.com/150" name={contact.name} email={contact.email} age={contact.age} /> ))} </> ); };

Run this in the browser and things should look the same. We haven’t change our ContactCard, merely changed where we got the data from. The cool thing about this is that if you added another row to the contacts array, the extra component will get rendered automatically- you don’t have to do anything else! Try this for yourself and see.

Pulling data from an API

We’ve got a nice looking React App now, nice and dynamic and things are working well. Which is a good place to be since we’re just getting started with React! But there are some tidy ups we need to make. In a real application, data will be pulled in from an API.

For the next part of the tutorial, we are going to get real contacts (when I say real contacts, I mean fake contacts - you know what I mean) from a real API: https://randomuser.me/. Feel free to browse the website and look at the response we will get back — this is where we will get our data to populate our components.

Firstly, let’s create a state variable to hold the data we get back from the API. Remember, state is good for holding that that can change. Our contacts list can definitely change!

In App.js, remove the contacts array add the following:

const [contacts, setContacts] = useState([]);

Here, we’re doing here is creating a state object, and initialising it to an empty Array. When we make the API call, we’ll update the state to contain a list of contacts. Since we named this state object contacts, our rendering logic within the JSX will look for this array instead (as opposed to the old contacts array we just deleted).

Next, let’s grab the data from the API. We’ll use the standard Fetch API. For now, we’ll log the data to the console. Add the following below the state object we just created:

fetch("https://randomuser.me/api/?results=3") .then(response => response.json()) .then(data => { console.log(data); });

All we’re doing here is:

Making a GET request to the randomuser API, asking for three results

Convert the response into JSON

Logging the JSON to the console.

If you run this in the browser, you’ll notice the ContactCard components no longer render - thats fine, we haven’t saved any new data to state yet, and our state variable is currently empty. If you look at the console (in your browser dev tools) you’ll notice the response object is logged. Which will look something like this:

You’ll see we have a results array, which has 3 objects. Each of these objects contain the details of a user (or a “Contact” in our case). This is similar to the contacts array we manually created ourselves in the previous section - just an array full of objects.

Let’s update our App components JSX to pick data from this object. Update the JSX like so:

return ( <> {contacts.map(contact => ( <ContactCard avatar={contact.picture.large} name={contact.name.first + " " + contact.name.last} email={contact.email} age={contact.dob.age} /> ))} </> );

This works similar to what we had before:

We are looping through the contacts variable (which, at the moment is an empty array)

When we eventually save the response to state (the next step) we look through each object in the array, for the appropriate things we need: in this case picture, name, email, and dob objects.

Next we want to store the results array in state, so our JSX can loop over it (using the map() function we seen previously) and render some lovely ContactCards. Within our fetch function, add the call to setContacts(data.results) like so:

fetch("https://randomuser.me/api/?results=3") .then(response => response.json()) .then(data => { console.log(data); setContacts(data.results); });

Our App component now looks like this:

//App.js const App = () => { const [contacts, setContacts] = useState([]); fetch("https://randomuser.me/api/?results=3") .then(response => response.json()) .then(data => { console.log(data); setContacts(data.results); }); return ( <> {contacts.map(contact => ( <ContactCard avatar={contact.picture.large} name={contact.name.first + " " + contact.name.last} email={contact.email} age={contact.dob.age} /> ))} </> ); };

If you save this, and run it in the browser, you’ll see something like this:

“WTF is going on everything is broken!”, don’t panic just yet (If you’re on a slower machine or just getting a bit freaked out, you can comment out the setContacts(data.results) line within the fetch function for now).

What’s happening here is that we’re stuck in a bit of a loop:

We make a call to fetch and get some data back

We then save this data to state

Remember, React does a re-render when the state changes

When the component re-renders, the fetch api call happens again, and sets the state

Since the state updated, the component re-renders again

After the component re-renders, fetch is called again…

You get the idea

So how do we stop this? We have to delete everything and start again. Nah just kidding, don’t run away yet. We can fix this with another built in React Hook - useEffect.

Introducing useEffect

The useEffect hook is a special hook that runs a function. By default, the useEffect hook runs on every re-render. However, we can configure it to only run under certain condition, e.g when a component mounts, or if a variable changes. The useEffect hook looks like this:

useEffect(() => { // code to run });

This will run every time. If we want to specify “only run once” we pass in an empty array as a second argument like so.

useEffect(() => { // code to run },[]); //<-- notice the empty array

This is called a dependency array. When the dependency array is empty, this means the useEffect function will only run when the component loads for the first time. For additional re-renders, the useEffect function is skipped.

This is a perfect place to put our API call, as we only want to get the data once, when the component loads. Go ahead and place a **useEffect()**function into our App component, and move the fetch API call into the useEffect function. Our App component now looks like this:

//App.js const App = () => { const [contacts, setContacts] = useState([]); useEffect(() => { fetch("https://randomuser.me/api/?results=3") .then(response => response.json()) .then(data => { setContacts(data.results); }); }, []); return ( <> {contacts.map(contact => ( <ContactCard avatar={contact.picture.large} name={contact.name.first + " " + contact.name.last} email={contact.email} age={contact.dob.age} /> ))} </> ); };

Now, if you run the code in your browser, you should see 3 contact cards appear! Refresh the page to see another randomised list of contacts:

Conclusion

Congrats! You just completed your first real-world app and laid the foundation to move onto more advanced topics.

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