#and more tasteful and normal than the actual gay relationship touko ends up in

[expiredfairydust]

best friends ~ bubblegum rock/kazuleon || ft. nb gay! kaz || pt. 2

//tw: self hatred, kinda internalised homophobia, uncensored F slur bcoz the author can reclaim it//

a loud gasp forced the two to pull away from their kiss quickly, both of them quickly moving to look in the direction of where the noise had come from.

kazuichi went red due to embarrassment, noticing the unmistakable blonde hair of miss sonia darting away.

she had poked her head around the door to souda’s room - they never locked it in case leon wanted to come and cuddle - meaning to ask the pinkette if they’d been given any homework as she had been in first aid for most of the day before, unaware of what was happening between the mechanic and their crush.

and now she was running off, trying to give the pair privacy. souda, panicking because their illusion of heterosexuality was likely being broken, ran after her, calling “miss s-sonia! wait!! i-i swear it’s not what it looks like i’m s-sorry miss sonia you’re the only one i love i swear!!” they were crying for real now at the realisation that they had just ruined the one thing that was theirs.

the blonde suddenly stopped in her tracks and turned back to kazuichi. her face had an odd expression that kazuichi couldn’t read.

she put a hand over the mechanic’s mouth. “you do not understand souda, i do not care about you and kuwata’s relationship! in fact, i am glad because now you can leave me and miss fukawa to our relationship in peace - i was and still am rather disgusted at your lack of knowledge on personal boundaries but now i do not have to worry about that because you have no reason to!” she spoke slightly forcefully without meaning to. when she was done, she took her hand away and started walking off again.

“miss sonia!! i-i-i-“ kazuichi couldn’t gather their words, thousands of thoughts racing through their head. “we’re not dating... it was.. it was only a kiss....” they would mumble, more tears streaming down their face with every word. “i-it was all my fault anyways... i-i.. i was.. i was the one who kissed him and it was so so stupid of me because he’s the only person i have left and now he probably hates me for- for-“

their voice cracked and they couldn’t go on speaking, their legs giving way underneath them. “for being such a disgusting fucking faggot!! and-and-and i don’t blame him because i hate myself too!!” they were practically shouting now. “but dammit i love him so fucking much! so much, it hurts! god it feels like my heart is being ripped apart and i can’t fix it and i don’t know what to do and i hate that! and even if i could ever tell him properly i just know he’d hate me because who could ever like such a pathetic little FAG”

they didn’t know why they were telling all of this to miss sonia, maybe it was because they didn’t want her to think leon’s standards were so low as to date them. maybe they just needed to let everything out, needed to rant. because the moment they opened their mouth the words seemed to vomit out.

and once they were done ranting they ran off to the loos so they could actually vomit, as they often did out of distress. they ran to the far away disabled loos, on the opposite end of campus - they were the only public gender neutral loos on campus - so they wouldn’t have to face leon again, who they assumed was still in their room.

key word: assumed.

because leon had actually heard every word, only a few paces behind kazuichi during their confession. he had ran to try and take the mechanic in his arms, to say that it was okay because he loved them that way back. he had ran, just as kazuichi ran off.

meanwhile the princess was just happily beaming to herself, knowing that leon heard every word. she had successfully wingwomanned for the creep and the punk! it was a double win, as leon tended to flirt with touko as well as kazuichi’s horrible attempts to look straight by chasing after miss sonia herself. she made her way to her girlfriend’s dorm to tell her all about what she did.

leon’s thoughts were racing, as he tried to figure out what was even happening. kaz was in love with him... kazzy loved him back... but they thought that kiss was all their fault? as if leon hadn’t chosen to kiss them too? and now they thought he hated them? why? why would he kiss them if he hated them? god kazuichi was a dumb bitch at the best of times...

leon couldn’t help but smile through his tears, which he hadn’t noticed either.

kazuichi really loved him back..!

him!

but they thought leon felt the opposite...

right...

well, leon would just have to change that, he decided as he started looking for his best friend. he knew the mechanic got physically unwell when they were unwell, so he’d just have to check all the loos until he found the right one!

except kazuichi was nonbinary and relatively androgynous, so the baseball star had no clue which loos they’d be in, and he couldn’t exactly barge into the women’s loos checking to find his friend.

so, that meant he’d have to find ibuki, who had joined his band, and ask nya to check the girls’ loos while he checked the men’s and disabled loos. nya was also non binary, but at least she passed as a girl enough to enter the women’s loos.

it wasn’t hard, seeing as the noise they made made all over on the other side of the campus-

(conveniently close to one of the only gender neutral loos on campus)

-was loud enough to be heard in another country. leon was regretting leaving his ear plugs in kaz’s dorm, as he plugged his ears with his fingers and ran towards the sound.

“IBUKI!!!!” he yelled once he was in the practice room mioda was in.

“WHAT?!?”

“WHAT???”

“WHAT?!”

this was going to be tedious, leon thought, as he moved towards where everything was plugged in and unplugged the speakers.

ah, silence,,, at least it would’ve been if mioda wasn’t screeching at leon for what he did. “jesus christ calm down ibuki! i need you for something important” leon hissed, ibuki going completely quiet at the word “important” - void loved being helpful!

the bubbly musician sped off to search once leon explained what he needed. knowing nya, she’d probably check all the men’s loos too, void didn’t seem to get what made people so iffy about not sharing a bathroom with different genders.

but with that, leon got to looking too. and it wasn’t long before he heard the sound of sobbing in the disabled loos, accompanied by the sound of vomiting. well, there’s kaz...

he knocked on the door “kazzy?” he tentatively spoke. there was the click of the door being unlocked for leon to enter. he soon dropped to the floor, next to the pinkette, pulling them into his lap and holding them tightly. “shshshhh... i’m here kazzy...” the ginger would whisper sweetly into souda’s ear.

he held the younger student’s hair back as they puked again. “now how about you tell me what’s going on in that mind of yours?” he whispered, despite knowing already. he wanted kazuichi to say it again. to him, not to miss sonia.

but kaz didn’t want to talk. “it’s stupid” they said, snuggling against leon.

“if it’s stupid why don’t you say it?”

“coz you’ll hate me even more than you do for kissing you” their words were hard to understand through their tears.

“what makes you think i hate you? if i hated you, would i be here with you now? c’mon how about you wash your mouth out? all that puking must have left a horrible taste” leon spoke with a gentle tone, which was unlike him but comforting to the sobbing boy in his lap.

once almost all traces of puke had been ridden from the mechanic’s mouth, leon sat them on his lap again, holding them tightly. “how about you tell me what’s wrong now, eh kazzy?” he said sweetly, wiping his best friend’s tear stained cheeks with his sleeve.

“promise you won’t hate me?”

“pinky promise”

the pinkette drew a deep breath, getting ready to speak. then shook their head. “i-i can’t”

a realisation dawned upon leon then. this was his chance to reveal his own secret! “i’ll tell you something about me that i’ve been hiding if that would make you feel any better” a slow nod gave him the ok to speak.

“i’m intersex. when i was born the doctors told my mom and dad and they were.. well, i don’t know how they felt but i was forced into an opporation to make me “fully” male as a baby and all my life i’ve had to take medication to keep my hormones at a “normal male” level, which is odd coz i was never actually told that’s what it was for until recently” the ginger spoke, resting his head on kazuichi’s shoulder

“but, i want to stop taking my meds, i don’t want to be 100% a boy, and that decision kinda scares me in case people won’t accept it. in case you don’t accept it” he added after hesitating. “now do you wanna talk about your problem?” he wanted to change the subject.

kaz had gone quiet. then, after a few seconds they said. “it sounds silly now that you’ve told me how serious yours is... but- but-“ they paused to figure out the words they wanted to say. “i-i- i’m so sorry for kissing you! i had no right to do it and i-i- i didn’t even take the time to ask you if you wanted a kiss and- and- and- i’m so sorry i know you hate me for it and i don’t blame you because i totally deserve it” the words seemed to fall out quicker than kazuichi could think of them

“and i know you probably never want to see me again but if you could ever forgive me i’d really appreciate it because you’re the only friend i’ve got and i love you dude!” as those words came out, the pink haired mechanic started tearing up again. “i-i love you... i love you so much it hurts and i don’t know what i’d ever do without you but i totally understand if you hate me because how could you ever love someone who’s such a disgusting f-“

their words were cut off by leon kissing the shorter mechanic. it was a brief kiss, even shorter than their first, but the pure, raw emotion behind it was clear. love. reciprocated love.

“if i thought you were disgusting, why would i choose to kiss you twice? because now you know it sure as hell weren’t just you who wanted that first kiss” leon said simply, wiping the shorter guy’s tears away. “but i don’t still want to be friends,” he said, suddenly going cold, making the pinkette’s face drop. “i want to be boyfriends!” he said, making kazuichi start laughing with relief.

just as they were about to share another kiss, in barged mioda, yelling about how nya had found the pink haired mechanic, then once void noticed the ginger sat next to them and started yelling about how unfair it was that she had been looking all over for kazuichi for leon when the ginger was probably with them the whole time.

the couple smiled and sheepishly promised to make it up to the ultimate musician. the end.

[tumblunni]

How to fix those messes

Tooru: can literally just be a trans man who is good and on the hero side. The entire yandere flip flop evil love triangle plot didnt need to exist, it feels like it was only there to "prove" that "she's really a girl" because this author thinks gay people dont exist outside of creepy cannibal fetish pedo men.

Creepy cannibal fetish pedo man: just fuckin kill him. Seriously why on earth was he the one treated the most synpathetically out of all of these characters??

Back to tooru again: also you didnt have to introduce him being trans by showing some old man molesting him and revealing his binder. You could have just had him..yknow..say he was trans. Show the same flashback but its just him confessing to his new friends cos now he trusts them and all. But yknow that wouldnt have been a ~shocking gory twist~ i guess...

Nuts hammer boy: please punch yourself in the face for even considering this idea. The idea of a ~poor cis boy forced to act trans by abusive parents who wanted a girl~ is nonsense fearmongering and i hate how its more common in anime than actual real trans characters. And adding a disgusting note of sexual abuse and fucking GENITAL MUTILATION just takes it up to 11! Its like the author read a cliffnotes summary of how puberty blockers can help delay stuff like the lowering of the voice and etc, and went off on some wild assumption that they literally cause being transgender and also literally ripping off a child's balls is what this thing means. Cos i mean seriously this is traits of being trans played as a horror story? It reminds me of naoto from Persona 4 where a sex change operation is presented as a terrifying death trap you have to rescue "her" from, because yknow despite her showing multiple heavily implied signs of being trans she was really just ~sad about sexism~ and ~pretended to be a man to get more respect~ and her literal worst nightmare as represented in this nightmare dungeon is the idea of being trans. Also the bumfuck stupid idea that if you took puberty blockers/literally had your nuts chopped off, it would not only give you a higher voice and less muscle mass but also CHANGE YOUR PERSONALITY INTO NONBINARY. Gahhhh! Fashion taste isnt a biological trait! The definition of manly and girly changes every decade anyway. God how to even fix this.. I guess just either or..? Like either have a regular nonbinary character or have a horrifying sad story of genital mutilation. One of those does not cause the other. Also seriously please remove the bit about the genital mutilation being motivated by his mom WANTING him to become trans, like what the fuck? And somehow it fuckin worked?? Seriously fuckin presenting trans women/nonbinary people as a creepy fetish of an abusive parent who wanted someone 'submissive', ughhjhh...

Also: like seriously man dont abandon the entire character of Hide five seconds into the plot and struggle to think of anything to do with him for the entire rest of the series. Like man he was pretty well established as an accidental really good love interest, one so good that the idea still kept massive popularity in the fandom over years of Hide not even getting five seconds more screentime. In comparison it took all those years and like five different personality changes for Kaneki and Touko to actually develop the slightest bit of chemistry together. Tho i mean dont look a gift horse in the mouth i guess, i was glad i at least managed to go 'yeah meh they kinda seem in love, im happy with that' by the end of this whole shitshow. Tho its funny how i initially thought that Ajin was a ripoff of Tokyo Ghoul ENTIRELY because Kei and Kai had such a similar relationship to Kaneki and Hide. I.e real good and gripping well established relationship in the first few chapters that could easily have carried the whole damn series, but instead the best friend is dropped as if he has no importance whatsoever and you're left wondering how the fuck someone could have written such realistic chemistry for gay teens entirely by accident. And yknow.. Even just looking at it platonically its still shitty! Like he was the protagonist's Most Important Person for like five seconds and we're expected to believe he suddenly isnt despite not having a reason for the change? Except i guess the author thinks that a normal human's perspective on the supernatural battle nonsense is just not interesting, despite the entire audience seeing these dudes as mega badass for trying to stand up for their monster friend despite not having powers. Sigh! Also weird coincidence that Kai and Hide even look similar lol. Let's split the difference and just crossover ship them with each other! XD

...man i went on a tangeant again