#and like with racism there are just some things you can't overlook to enjoy a series if you're black because that's your day to day life an

[shallowrambles]

So I've been thinking. It's funny how enjoying meta is somewhat embedded with trust.

Like, if you're "friends" and have followed a person for a long time, you have more a sense of their values, and it's easier to read their difficult meta because you trust more that they're being charitable/nuanced.

If you don't know them, it's harder to trust that they're not funneling difficult topics into rationalization of liking/supporting gross shit.

[winged-cries]

hi mari, this might sound like a stupid question but i admire your thought process a lot and i value your opinions immensely so i thought about asking you about something that i’m having trouble dealing with. when you find yourself blogging about bout art made by “problematic” authors how do you reconcile with it? one of my favorite movies is rosemary’s baby, another is midnight in paris by allen and i often find myself guilty after talking/reblogging stuff about them. i don’t know if it’s social media’s current state (where everyone is ready to call you out viciously) that influences me but i am feeling all sorts of sad about it and i wanted your advice

it doesn't sound stupid at all, don't worry! i understand why this can be really important to someone, though i can't fully relate because i don't feel particularly guilty over enjoying things made by people who have done bad things. i try not to support (financially or otherwise) artists that i find truly repulsive, but that's a very personal decision based on my own perceptions and judgements, not any kind of objective standard.

i still remember the pain of learning more about some of my favorite childhood authors. the day i found out road dahl was a huge racist was very painful to me, and his racism is actually part of his work and impossible to overlook once you're old enough to know. from that day on i think it was just downhill, as a great number of writers and artists i admired turned out to be racists, misogynists and abusers. but that became a normal aspect of life to me. i don't know if it's because i grew up loving the kind of people one should hate but to me it's not that difficult to reconcile different sides of a person. to take the good even when the bad is really awful.

as i said, there are artists that i choose not to support, but i think where i draw the line is personal and may seem arbitrary to others. mostly i try not to support in any way people who are currently doing harm. i also try to understand how certain beliefs impact the work of artists i do enjoy. but that's it, really. there are no clear cut rules for me. i wish i could've helped you a little more.

[lowtaxsa]

Import Gaming: Tragik Viktim of AmeriKKKa

Folks, it's time to talk about a grave injustice that's been plaguing our nation for far too long: the absolutely shameful treatment of Japanese RPGs by the U.S. Department of Import Gaming, E3, the entire electronic gaming industry, and, of course, the ever-meddlesome MEDIA. These highfalutin organizations and their lackeys have conspired to keep some of the most innovative and groundbreaking RPGs from ever gracing our American shores, all because they hate fun, despise creativity, and can't stand the thought of us unwashed masses enjoying a little Japanese genius.

Now, I know what you're thinking: "But Lowtax, there are plenty of Japanese RPGs available in America!" Sure, they'll toss us the occasional bone like a half-hearted "Final Fantasy" sequel or a Pokémon game that's essentially the same thing we played 20 years ago. But what about the hidden gems, the true masterpieces that are being denied to us simply because the powers-that-be are too busy lining their pockets and suppressing the truth?

Well, I've compiled a list of these tragically overlooked Japanese RPGs, and it's high time we demand they be brought to our shores. Behold, the games we're missing out on, all because of the Man, anti-Japanese racism, and the industry's relentless thirst for mediocrity:

"Samurai Pizza Cats: Unending Sorrow"

"Pocky & Rocky: Tax Evasion Adventure"

"Mecha-Bonsai Chronicles: The Quest for Fertilizer"

"J-Pop Idol Time Travel Extravaganza"

"Super Turbo Otaku Dating Sim RPG 5000"

"Mystical Onigiri Wars: The Rice Ball Rebellion"

But the real gem, the one game that has become my personal crusade, is the incomparable "Project Windtalker." This game is a revolutionary masterpiece, blending elements of feudal Japan, high-tech cyberpunk, and post-apocalyptic drama into a mind-blowing narrative that will leave you questioning everything you thought you knew about reality. The fact that it hasn't been localized yet is a travesty of the highest order, and I will not rest until the Department of Import Gaming and their cronies are brought to their knees, begging for forgiveness as they finally give us the game we so richly deserve.

So, join me, my fellow gaming enthusiasts, as we rise up against the tyranny of the electronic gaming industry and their MEDIA lackeys. Let's show them that we won't stand idly by as they deny us the right to experience the glorious RPG masterpieces that Japan has to offer. We will fight for "Project Windtalker," and we will not rest until it is ours.

To get this show on the road, I sat down with the 45th President of the United States, DONALD TRUMP, to get the inside scoop on Project Windtalker and the whole import gaming debacle. Buckle up, folks, because this is gonna be a wild ride.

LOWTAX: So, Mr. Trump, what's your take on the whole Project Windtalker situation and the Japanese RPG import crisis?

TRUMP: Well, Lowtax, I have to tell you, it's a tremendous disaster, just terrible. I've always been a big fan of the Japanese, fantastic people, but this whole import gaming thing is just a mess. Sad!

LOWTAX: Right? It's like they're deliberately trying to keep these amazing games from us. Have you ever played "Project Windtalker"?

TRUMP: Oh, I've played it, Lowtax, and let me tell you, it's one of the best, if not the best game ever made. If I were still president, I would've made it a top priority to bring it to America, believe me.

LOWTAX: And what about the U.S. Department of Import Gaming and E3? Are they in on this conspiracy?

TRUMP: Absolutely, they're all in on it. They don't want people to play these fantastic Japanese RPGs because they're afraid of how successful they'll be. They can't handle the competition, so they're trying to hold us back. Pathetic!

LOWTAX: You know, it's refreshing to hear someone in a position of power acknowledge this issue. If you were still president, what would you do to bring "Project Windtalker" and other Japanese RPGs to the U.S.?

TRUMP: First, I'd fire everyone at the Department of Import Gaming, they're all incompetent losers. Then, I'd cut a tremendous deal with the Japanese to bring these games to America, a deal like nobody has ever seen before. We'd have so many Japanese RPGs, you'd get tired of playing them!

LOWTAX: Sounds like a plan, Mr. Trump. Thanks for taking the time to talk with me about this important issue.

TRUMP: My pleasure, Lowtax. You keep fighting the good fight, and together, we'll make import gaming great again!

And there you have it, folks. Straight from the mouth of a former president himself. The fight for "Project Windtalker" and the liberation of import gaming continues!

[protectbrowngirls]

I'm terrified of physical intimacy & ex, and most due to my hatred for my body, most specifically my skin color & body hair. I hate my body & idk how to change that. I know that me feeling that is the result of internal colorism/racism but I can't help but feel this way. I look at my body and I think, who would ever like that? Who would ever want to touch that? I hate saying this bc it's so fucked up and I'm sorry for the negativity but I feel dirty bc of my skin color i HATE THIS :(( im sorry

You don’t need to apologize! We live in a society that strives to make women hate themselves; I’m sorry that you’re feeling the effects of that messaging so starkly, and that our society has made you feel dirty and untouchable. I think it’s really incredible that you’ve recognized your negative self-image stems from messaging that you’ve internalized instead of being an innate measure of your worth. 

Let me start by saying that there are absolutely people out there who will like you and want to touch you and be intimate with you. I know it’s difficult to believe, but I promise you it’s true. We are our own worst critics. It’s vastly easier for us to see the flaws in ourselves (and magnify them) while overlooking the positive attributes. But that doesn’t mean those positive attributes don’t exist! Being able to recognize and accept those positive attributes requires a twofold change in mindset: you have to start countering negative self-talk, and you have to start actively celebrating positive things about yourself. These are, obviously, easier said than done! If you’d like to hear how I’ve approached these things, let me know. 

I would highly recommend seeking therapy to work through your fear of intimacy and sex. A therapist is going to be able to help you break down and address your negative self-talk in a much more healthy and appropriate manner than I can. That said, I know therapy isn’t feasible for everyone (and much less in the current climate), so here’s my two cents: I think that a large part of becoming comfortable with intimacy involves learning how to be vulnerable and learning how to be intimate with yourself. In plain terms, this means learning how to touch your body, learning what brings you pleasure and what doesn’t, figuring out what intimacy you enjoy and what intimacy you don’t. Set aside an hour every now and then to just focus on pleasuring yourself and learning how your body reacts; try to spend some time just existing while naked, to deconstruct the idea that nakedness (and, therefore, your body) can only exist in a sexual or intimate setting. In my experience, the more I learned to see my body as just Another Thing I Lived With instead of, like, a tool for sex, the more comfortable I became with thinking about intimacy and sex. 

I also want to offer a word of caution: when you don’t like your body, it’s really really easy to settle for being intimate with people who won’t treat you well, because you think you’ll never have another chance, or you think that better people won’t give you a second glance. I’ve been there waaaay too many times lol. But this isn’t true! I promise you there are multiple people out there who will want you for who you are, for the color of your skin and for whatever body hair you may have. Though you might think this is your only chance to experience sex/intimacy, I implore you not to settle for the first douchebag to give you the time of day. 

Thank you for reaching out! I wish you the best of luck in your journey.

[hellsbellschime]

I saw your response to Billy not being racist but I just can't fathom. I get abusive parents and becoming a product of your environment but Billy doesn't get off blameless. Like he was literally manhandling a little black boy and we're all going to erase his outright racism and abusiveness because the actor who plays him is cute?

Yeah, so I don’t know if you have followed me before or if you just saw one of my posts and it got your attention, but I’m going to assume it’s the latter because your assumptions about my opinions are so far off from what they actually are. 

So the thing of it is, it’s totally fine for you to dislike any character for whatever reason you see fit, and it’s fine for anyone to like a character for any reason they see fit. If I liked Billy Hargrove solely because Dacre Montgomery is hot, then that’s just as valid a reason to like something as any other reason. But obviously that’s not the case for me, and I think that’s generally a very dismissive and kind of condescending assumption to make about anyone who loves problematic characters, because it’s not like there is a lack of hot dudes to crush on in entertainment. 

And if by “we” you mean me, I am not erasing his outright racism because I do not see outright racism in the character. Like I said in the meta I wrote before, Billy is an extremely aggressive individual who has no problem saying offensive things, so if the writers clearly wanted to portray him as racist why didn’t they just clearly portray him as racist? There are a lot of reasons for Billy to hate Lucas besides the fact that he’s black, and while I’m not denying that there is subtext to back up your belief that Billy is racist what I am saying is that my basic common sense says otherwise, and my actual film degree tells me that if the writers were trying to make Billy’s racism clear then they didn’t do a good enough job at that. 

I am in no way taking away blame for Billy’s bad behavior, because I don’t think I have to. Liking a fictional character who is an asshole is not some kind of moral failing, because he’s a fucking imaginary person. Enjoying the intellectual stimulation that something provides you even if it’s problematic (or as is the case with me and Billy, the intellectual stimulation that something provides me often times because it’s problematic) is fine, especially if you acknowledge that it’s problematic, which I do.

Speaking for myself, I tend to really enjoy characters that are complex and not easy to like. I can enjoy things that are simple and straightforward, but I will rarely get really interested in something unless it actually forces me to think and never gives me any easy answers. There’s nothing wrong with liking that kind of thing, it’s just not something that I find exceptionally compelling. For me a huge aspect of what makes Billy an interesting character is that he is an abuse victim and an abuser. Frankly that is a characterization that is a lot more true to life than most of the kids who have suffered unimaginable shit in Stranger Things, and I like that he’s not a character that I can make a moral black and white judgment on. It’s totally okay that you don’t feel the same, but me saying that I am interested in and passionate about a character that is a real asshole isn’t some kind of abdication of morality on my part. Honestly a lot of my favorite characters in film and TV have been complete dumpster fires, and I like them that way, but that doesn’t say anything about me as an actual real live person. 

And finally, it’s absolutely okay to agree to disagree. I can like something and you can hate something and that’s totally fine and that says nothing about either of us as people. But what is really kind of a shitty thing to do is disregard the opinions and passions of others in such a gendered way. As I said before, if people love Billy because they think he’s super hot then that is totally fine and totally valid and they don’t need to explain or excuse that to anyone. But it’s very patronizing to tell someone that they’re overlooking something as serious as racism because they think someone is hot, and honestly when you come at someone sideways like that it really gives off the impression that you think you’re intellectually and morally superior to the person your speaking to. People who disagree can have constructive conversations with one another, and your arguments and beliefs can stand by themselves without having to present them in a condescending way.

[sextonsharpwinhalstead]

@dillie60 Oh girl it's hell sometimes. I remember when they went canon and I saw a comment from someone who said that it wasn't what happened in the comic and that Michonne was with a "Big black named Zeke."

I did not want to go on a rant but it's kind of blowing up inside me right now cause one of my ships on my other show just sailed and I had to watch this trope and now critiques of what I'm sure are unconscious biases based on racism from the naysayers.

Yup this is about racism, I know it's so much fun to keep bringing it up and pulling it out of the deck, you'd think we were the ones who invented the game and not just fans trying to enjoy media like everyone else but we are never allowed to in peace and damn near everyone is to blame for it.

I'm going to tell you about the "White Woman Comes First" trope on shows. It's happens when it's pretty clear an interracial couple is about to go canon and it's becoming par for the course if it's a heterosexual couple and the man is white and the woman is non-white. We know why it's taboo. It goes back slavery, colonialism, and imperialism and all the jacked up justifications that have been made in the name of it.

Imagine you and your kin come to the new world (to you) with the justification of manifest destiny and it's okay to do what you want to the people because they are animals, uncivilized, etc.

You've already heard this, we all know it and the majority of us all agree it was heinous. But then come all the stereotypes about the women, temptresses, unrapeable; whores. Why? Because there are too many little mixed race and biracial babies running around the plantation, living in the village. What do you say to your wife? Your kin? You make up lies about the women and then for extra measure to take the heat off you, you begin the propaganda of their men being the dangerous ones and your women are the ones who are really in danger. Why? Because they're beautiful, fragile, superior, of course they're coveted.

This is NOT a white woman bashing post. There is no supreme race or any one race who's better looking than the other. The absolute is false, but it's what you hold onto when your slave girl has given birth to another son and you can't give him any. It's what you hold onto when you've been given the finest clothes, and jewels and your husband, your sons, your brothers can't stop staring at the native girls.

When non-white men find white women attractive it is expected, some might even see it as a "healing moment" where his attraction is not only seen as a freedom, but a damn right. Hers too, considering the centuries of bullshit and out-pocket behavior from their male counterparts.

The fact is ALL of this is about power, and yes the brutalization and fetishization is real but somehow the one thing that in my opinion is purposely overlooked is desire. All of this mess was to hide the desire a white man might have for a non-white woman. And heaven forbid she be black and even worse if she desires him. Because how could you? After all that?! Bendwench, white-man's whore. So black women double-down. They make it KNOWN that they desire and want relationships with black men only and don't really find white men attractive. And apparently white men feel the same. They're writing papers about how ugly we black women are and taking polls about how we are the least desirable among all races, because you know... no one has ever lied about race. Especially if you're at the top of the food chain and the so-called bottom is very vocal about not checking for you either.

In my experience and that of MANY black women of all shades, shapes, and sizes they have had white men hit on them ALL the time. The amount of white guys SHOCKED that I would even give them the time of day is lot more than you'd realize. I have dated the proverbial rainbow. My partner is white.

All of this boils down to desire and resentment. So in the modern age what do you do when you've cast a non-white woman who is the love interest either planned or unplanned with your heartthrob white guy? Enter the "White Woman First Trope."

Rick and Michonne had been building for some time but for some really weird reason they shoehorned Jessie in before he finally made a move on Michonne.

Widow-mom with Max before Helen and now he's shoved with Wilder.

Cade before Billie.

Felicity and Patti before Iris.

Sam Zanetti before Robin.

Amelia Slater before Ginny Baker with Mike.

Dove, Batgirl, damn near every WW before Starfire.

Jessica before Audrey and NEVER Claire.

Katrina, and Betsy Ross but NEVER Abbie.

Rose but NEVER Martha.

I could keep going but it's exhausting. And if you are a black woman or teen there is NO peace from white femme fans if they don't get served first and sometimes there's no peace from women of the same hue as you too because "why does EVERYTHING have to be swirl?!"

BECAUSE THEY WONT FUCKING HIRE PEOPLE OF COLOR! NEXT QUESTION.

And some of us are attracted to each other and not in the hyper-politicized fetishization discourse has rendered EVERYTHING to!

Also I want to make a point that when the characters do get together, they are SANITIZED because; see the history. It's sweet and cute. Hot and steamy are not shown, explicit is borderline offensive. Why do you think Billy Bob-Thorton and Halle Berry's scene in Monster Ball was such a big deal? That movie came AFTER Sliver, Basic Instinct, 9 1/2 Weeks etc.

I really don't like having to discuss it. I want to enjoy fandom but the intersection of desire and resentment keeps so many of our experiences in this perpetual loop.

i'm just insanely sad that freema had to go through this racist BS again after doctor who :(

I KNOW!

Like I loved Rose too but gahdamn, AGAIN.

What's really wild is a lot of the fandom whether they are here or on Twitter or Instagram or even Facebook know when and even a bit of why she left the show, they know that she was hanging on by a thread by the end of season two per the showrunners. But because of the way they wrote her out it's open season on her instead of being shocked by the complete degradation and regression of the character they can finally let out the hate they've been simmering on since we started shipping them AND when we talked about her being one of the most talented cast members. Her nomination wasn't for nothing.

That's why I had to clip my response to an earlier anon-ask about her character receiving microaggressions and hate. I made a few manic Tik-Toks about it but there is a HIDEOUS trope and trend of this exact harassment happening to actresses left and right in any fandom where the lead is a white male. Nicole Behari is another example.

Once you know about it you can't unsee it and it's in both television and movies.

[keagan-ashleigh]

If anything here's the entire amount of times I have talked about Izzy Hands:

---

I've said like three things that are literally the opposite of being an apologist and EVEN IF I DID, MY DUDE YOU CAN BLOCK THE CONTENT YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE, how crazy right? 😃

Be an Izzy apologist I don't give two fucks, we can disagree respectfully about stuff, I'm too fucking tired to fight anyone other such a subject. At the end of the day if you want Izzy to have a redemption arc: why not. I don't care.

To me, he shouldn't, because he's an abusive little shit and lowkey racist/fetishizing Ed and it needs to be addressed (it is somehow though). I feel about him the same way I felt about Mary Watson or Kylo Ren. But I am also a hannigram shipper so at the end of the day where I stand truly depends on context. Still never condoned Hannibal's actions though.

What we're not calling those "izzy apologists" though is homophobes because they are not and you can't throw such a grave accusation like that as if it was nothing. I don't care where you put your morality, it's a piece of fiction gay people engage with the way they want to and it's not actually harmful to anyone.

Villains have always been a fascination and widely appreciated, there is nothing different here. We can entirely appreciate a character and imagine for it a narrative arc where they grow out of their worst self (like Loki, he killed a lot of people yet no one bats an eye and call Loki fans Loki apologists or some shit).

That is not being an apologist. People saying of a real person that they're the best mew mew to ever live while they actually harmed their partner in real life are being abusers apologists.

You don't have the higher moral ground because you can't recognize a bad character can be appreciated and that people can write their own narrative around said character, it has never meant they would overlook real abuse in real life.

Yes, fiction has its impact on real life and normalizing domestic violence in medias is very harmful, but let's not forget that critical thinking is a thing and people who enjoy villains are not going to start mass shooting people in real life, they actually know the behavior is bad. It would be like saying GTA3 was actually the cause of gun violence - it is not. Because between the media and real life, there is a person who process the things they consume and engage with.

The same way, people enjoying Izzy, wanting him to get a nice life and have a boyfriend, and who imagine him with Ed or Lucius, they are processing his character, especially Izzy because he is a complex character whose anger is rooted in internalized homophobia and racism, and people need to imagine a scenario where people can grow out of this hatred for themself and for others. They need to picture this part of his character whose love is corrupted by homophobia and racism, because deep down we all need to understand him. It's true to many villains and so it is for Izzy, he is not born bad, he's not like the Badminton brothers who are full on pieces of shit who can absolutely not be ever forgiven because they were born and raised to hate others. But Izzy, he grew abusive and violent because he hates himself, he's the kind of character that CAN turn around and reveal their good parts. This kind of villains is fascinating to most.

Look at all medias, this is also Loki story, Anakin, Wanda, Will, Maleficent (from the live action movie), and many others. If people want to give them an "apology" kind of story (I prefer to say a redemption and a forgiveness narrative, because it doesn't actually go back to what they did and say it's ok) it's because it answers to a very deep and subconscious need to see people can be good again and grow out of the hatred prison they put themselves in.

They know Izzy is a bad person and abusive. Maybe not everyone obviously, and also some people just don't apologize Izzy but want to have fun with the character, but most people know the difference between fiction and reality. Most people know the difference between apologizing a bad action and allowing the character to evolve past this bad action.

Like I said before, I don't think we should apologize Izzy for being abusive and fetichising Ed. But I am never going to shit on people who see more to his story.

Doesn't mean I believe everything is allowed, and that there is no problematic things in fandom, it just means I know how to be nuanced and not to judge people I know nothing about for engaging in a piece of media in a way I disagree with. I am just going to vibe and engage with the aspects of fandoms I actually enjoy and agree with, I don't care what every body else does as long as it's not actually harmful.

And I know how to block tags and people on all social medias. Some of y'all should try it.

You know what makes me feel unwelcome in this fandom, as a gay man? Izzy stans.

Y'all are homophobic abuse apologists who think queer relationships that aren't toxic aren't valid.

I have literally posted nothing about that and you're making big crazy assumptions about me, you need to take a big breath and touch some grass, so much rage cannot be healthy.

I wish you a lot of peace, now get off my blog.