#and like it wasn't my favourite star wars media

[cyberneticdryad]

so fucking mad that the acolyte isn't getting a second season

[febuwhump]

febuwhump 2024 survey results

has it been six months since febuwhump? yes. yes it has. nevertheless, here's the cold hard data (analysis) of the survey from febuwhump 2024: feb five.

firstly, this year was our most popular yet! with 1417 works in the official collection across 329 fandoms, we made (and shared) 103 fics more than 2023, and 770 more than my first year running febuwhump in 2021! this isnt even including all the art and fics posted to tumblr, or wasn't shared during the event, which would put our total so much higher!

the prompt list had 4000+ notes and i received 115 responses to the survey.

there were 62 people in the hall of fame, up from 51 in 2023.

the blog hit 2,683 followers, up from 1,946 at the end of the 2023 event.

across two independant check, based on the average word count of 2,000 words per fic in the 2024 collection, and aware of the multi-chapter fics (some of which were finished after the event), it is estimated that 2.8 million words were written for febuwhump 2024. which is just. fucking insane.

now, onto the survey results!

firstly: in what way did you participate in Febuwhump this year?

with extra write-ins not pictured, fanfiction was the overwhelming winner with 92 responses (82.6%), followed by original fiction (22.6%) and artwork (11.3%). interesting to me personally is the 4 responses who wrote poetry and the not-pictured 1 response who created web-weaving! which is very cool and i would like to see it.

fandoms

according to the survey:

the most popular fandoms written for were the star wars universe and legend of zelda universe (8/115 responses)

21 responses included original fiction

the majority of responses also referenced more than one fandom, meaning less people stuck to a single fandom or topic the entire time.

according to the collection:

21 anime/manga fandoms were represented

51 books/literature fandoms were represented, 12 being specific star wars subseries

24 RPF fandoms were represented, including bands and minecraft servers

the most popular fandoms written about in the collection were:

star wars (all media types) - 253 works

star wars: the bad batch - 80 works

torchwood - 66 works

original work - 56 works

my hero academia - 54 works

why and how

next, there were a lot of really lovely responses about why participants took part in febuwhump, a few favourite and repeated responses being that it seemed fun, they'd done it before and so wanted to do it again, and they liked to write about their favourite characters suffering. also, multiple people have been doing it for three of the four years i've been running it (of five total), and several were encouraged by friends!

the majority of participants discovered febuwhump through tumblr, the admin's tumblr, ao3 fics and discord servers. a handful said there's apparently a google doc floating around that houses a whump event calendar. i would be interested in seeing that if anyone's got it.

did you participate in Febuwhump 2020, 21, 22 or 23?

the majorty of respondants were new comers to febuwhump at 66.1% "no" to 33.9% "yes". the majority of comparisons to previous years referenced a noticably bigger community, more interaction on the blog, and the admin being more "confident" (oh, you guys), however several noted that the prompts felt more repetitive or samey this year than they did previously.

are you a Febuwhump completionist or participant?

a fairly even split, 51.3% of participants didn't finish compared to the 48.7% who did. however, only 88.1% of those completionists submitted to the hall of fame.

for those who didn't complete, the most common amount of prompts completed was 2 (13.6%), 3 (11.9%) and 12 or 6 (6.8%).

the most common place to share prompt fills was tumblr (74.8%), ao3 (72.2%), or choosing not to share at all (7%). several write-in responses said that they were planning to share in the future but hadn't yet. and while 76.4% of people submitted to the ao3 collection, those who didn't claimed it to be because the fics weren't ready to be shared on time, they weren't following the rules so didn't add to the collection, an inability to find the collection on ao3 (i swear i'm working on it) or shyness/fear.

what went well/even better if:

the only actual criticsm of the event received was that the blog was posting in a "spam"-like way, to the point that the participant almost unfollowed (and another suggested a reblog tag so it could be ignored easier if people didn't want to see the works throughout the month).

several comments asked for a later deadline for submission to the collection/hall of fame, which is going under advisement, but the current position is that by doing so, it makes the event a different event. there are no stakes to actually create once a day if, at the end of it, you actually get 2 weeks of extra time.

another couple mentioned there being too many dialogue prompts and vague prompts. this will be considered during the next voting period and prompt collation - potentially, if i allowed less dialogue prompts into the final 100 vote, less would make it through to the official 28, however the voting itself is out of my hands (unless voter fraud occurs once again).

the main suggestion for improvement (8 times out of 44 suggestions) was for an additional mod to help with reblogging more. (which imo flies in the face of the "spamming" from earlier, but there is surely a middle ground). this is likely to not happen, because i like running the event alone, despite the major burnout i receive every single year without fail. but thanks for your concern lol.

on discord:

31.3% of participants were in the discord server (which, this year, ignored the first year's 100 user cap and had 172 total users).

43.6% of people who didn't join the server did so because they hadn't heard of it, while the majority didn't join because they were either shy (the minorty) or don't use/like discord (the vast majority). i don't know if tumblr still does groupchats and if that would be a viable alternative, or if there is another forum/chat location that would work better (or to have in tandem), but i am open to suggestions.

of the people who were in the channel, most (33.3%) used it "rarely", followed by "most days" (25%) and "for half the month" (22.2%)

febuwhump 2025

the majority of responses wanted next year's colour scheme to either be red or green, but shout out to everyone who wanted orange, the person who said "children's hospital" and the other person who gave me this specific hex code: #4BEC13

which is vile, but also another vote for green.

finally, here are my favourite suggestions for febuwhump 2025's colloquial name. previously, we have endured febuwhump 2: electric boogaloo, febuwhump 3: tokyo drift, fourbuwhump and feb five.

febuwhump 6 suggestions:

fe6uwhump (which, i'll be honest, is a real contender)

"I don't know"

febuwhump 666

febuwhump: revenge of the sixth

"I don't know, sorry"

"febuwhump sex and make all the prompts kinky"

"??? i have been thinking about this for 10 mins"

febuwhump 6(9)

feBEEwhump

"i am bad at this"

"could not care less"

febuwhump feb five 2: electric boogaloo

apparently, i accidently made this a mandatory question and that made some of you mad :(

and that's the wrap up survey, six months late! any questions/queries/want to see some of that cold hard data? send me an ask. i'll actually respond to it i swear! (probably!)

[ineffectualdemon]

Understand I am fully on the side of the writers and actors and I hope they get everything they ask for

But is anyone else actually relieved about the delay?

Just a little?

Because there is so much out there to watch

So many shows and so many movies and they are all coming so fast and like when I was a teenager and even in my early twenties when there wasn't streaming there wasn't this rush to consume!

Shows came out once a week with long breaks. Like you would never have anything new over the summer

And that was okay

And even when the new stuff aired it was understood that if something aired at the same time as your favourite show you wouldn't watch it until it reaches syndication

You didn't binge watch a show in a few days and then binge watch another new show right after

There wasn't an expectation that you keep up on all the hot new media

Sequels took fucking years to make

It is rare I watch new media now and a lot of the time I get 3 episodes in and I have a panic attack and can't finish the series

There is too much too fast and it's discarded too soon and too often the end product feels rushed as well (I'm looking at you star wars new trilogy)

I feel like I can't fucking breathe when I think of watching anything new

Plus now if you don't watch it immediately it gets canceled and ripped off the service forever

I want new media

But goddamnit I want it slower

Does that just make me old?

Idk

I just want people making films and TV shows to have more time

[sky-kenobye]

Fic Tag Game

Thanks @ineffable-snowman for the tag! :D

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

7 works, 5 of them are my own fics and the other 2 are translations (in french) of other people's fics

2. What's your Ao3 word count?

18,740 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Only Star Wars at the moment. I used to write for Harry Potter but not anymore, and one translation is from a Sherlock fic and I sort of tried to write for that fandom but never managed anything.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. Who's having a gay crisis? (424 kudos) (HP)

2. Partenaire Particulier (397 kudos) (HP)

3. Not exactly common (221 kudos) (HP)

4. Happy as a stick bug (132 kudos) (SW)

5. I wish you with me always (99 kudos) (SW)

(I honestly don't think they deserve to be in that order, I would put the entire thing upside down lol. But drarry/hp in general is a much bigger fandom than obikin and they're older fics, so more time to get kudos. And my top one doesn't deal with aroace stuff so it must have helped too.)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to, yes! I might not if it's just a few emojis or a very very short one, and sometimes I just forget, but I like when authors answer my comments so I try to do the same.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

None of them, I'm a fluff writer, I can't handle the unhappy endings 😅 I guess the worst one might be my very first fic, that must still be somewhere on ff.net, it was a pretty angsty/bittersweet fic (and probably very badly written, yikes)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of them? They all end with people cuddling/holding hand/being really sappy 🤷 The one where the characters are the happiest is probably I wish you with me always though, it's the only one where nobody's traumatised one way or another.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I haven't so far, luckily. But I don't have that many hits either so less people reading it=less likely to get hate (I think?)

9. Do you write smut? What kind?

Nope! No smut for me I'm afraid, I think I'd be pretty bad at it tbh. I'm not ruling it out but being an aroace virgin myself, I think I'd be a bit out of my depth lol. But if I ever do it'll probably be the sappiest most vanilla smut you've ever seen x)

(I enjoy reading way kinkier stuff, but I don't think I have it in me to write it)

10. Do you write cross-overs?

I haven't so far. If we're talking about characters crossover(?)(like, making characters from different media meet) I'm not sure I ever will, I'm definitely not inspired at the moment. If putting characters in another universe counts as a crossover (like, idk a pacific rim au?), then I probably will eventually, yeah.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so, probably not.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I did some translations myself. I'm vaguely thinking about translating my own fics in french though. It's thanks to translations of fics that I started reading in english, and it's thanks to that that I became so good in english, so like, I owe fic translators a lot? And I also feel kinda bad about speaking french but "gatekeeping" my fics by writing them only in english. Idk.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No, I don't think that's for me, too much pressure to write something good and that the other author(s) actually like.

14. What's your all time favourite ship?

Hmm 🤔 I want to say obikin because they're my current absolute fav, and they might rank first in term of investment, and maybe even intensity, but it's a relatively recent ship for me soooo 🤷 My oldest and longest lasting was Harry/Ginny, but I wasn't quite as much into it as other ships. Drarry was a pretty intense one for a while but I went multiple times from being obsessed with it to being almost squicked by it, so I don't think they can go first. Stucky, Dinluke and Johnlock are up there too but idk.

15. What's your WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Idk if it counts but I wanted to write a sequel to Partenaire Particulier. I didnt have anything really planed but I really wanted a sequel and I promised up and down that I would write it, no matter how long it took. And uuuh, now I left the fandom and don't intend on getting back to it 😬 So that's haunting me a little bit.

16. What are your writing strength?

Strength? No strength here sir.

I'm kidding but I really have no idea. Dialogue comes the easiest to me but I'm not sure I'm actually good at it, i tend do make my characters ramble and go on emotional rants.

Or in middle school I wrote a scene description so good that my teacher read it for the whole classroom, so maybe that was my strength back then? I was twelve though.

And I dont know if it's a strength, a weakness or just a fact but almost all my fics so far are about aro/ace/qpr stuff (projecting much? me? naah. 👀)

(If anybody wants to tell me what's good in my writing I'd kiss you on the mouth)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Blending dialogue and not-dialogue (forgor the name). I either write 1k without anyone speaking or 1k straight of dialogue but you don't know what anybody's doing. I try to blend both when I edit but it's haaaard.

Also sometimes I feel like I have the vocabulary of a 5 years old.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think it can be perfectly fine if the pov isn't supposed to understand what's being said, or if it's translated straight away, but when you read a long fic with mando'a every 5 seconds and none of it is translated (or all at the end) it gets pretty annoying and doesnt really add much to the fic. imo if you want a character to speak in a different language you should just write in english, put it in italics, and specify that they speak the other language or something.

The other thing that bother me that I see a lot especially with mando'a in fics, is just putting the word in mando'a in the middle of an English sentence. That's not how being bilingual works!! (at least not that much). Like, I don't call my sister "my soeur", so why do the clones call each other vode in basic? Idk, it doesn't bother me enough to stop reading, it's more of a mild annoyance, but it doesn't really make much sense to me.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter! But Star Wars is the first fandom where I'm actually (somewhat) active and interacting with people instead of lurking and blurting out a fic every once in a while.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

I'll go with I wish you with me always. I think I made a decent job at writing it and qpr are just so important to me. It also made me sooo happy to see so many other people liking it <3

But I think my wedding au will steal the first place if I ever manage to finish it!

I feel like everybody had already done this a while ago, so I'm tagging whoever is reading this and hasnt done it before!

[neon-junkie]

awh fuck, everybody else is posting their sappy seasonal finale posts, so i figured i'd follow the herd and make one too. under the cut cause its long, im gushin' my heart out here!!

the bad batch has been my favourite show in... fuck, a very long time. i'll watch a piece of media and go "i enjoyed that!", maybe reblog a few tumblr posts on it, write the odd fic here and there, but the bad batch? i dont know what the hell it woke inside of me, but i am damn thankful for it.

since leaving the red dead fandom, i didn't write very often. i did the odd piece for star wars, but there wasn't anything that truly grasped me. i remember finally watching the clone wars during the covid lockdown, and thinking "awh i love the clones so much! i love how unique they all are, with their tattoos and haircuts. i just wish they would make an emo clone, for a laugh, you know?"

and then i started tcw season 7, and oh my god-

yeah, crosshair is my absolute favourite, although tech almost stole that place during season 2. (but i could never betray my husband like that!!) i love all the batch, even stinky sergeant hunter, and i am so thankful that they've entered my life. im glad i got into the clone wars when i did, cause as i finished the entire show, the bad batch season 1 dropped the very next day haha. i didnt think they'd impact my life as much as they did, but hey-ho, im thankful for it.

i mean, they got me back into writing. i had a nasty experience (which i wont go into detail about) during my time in the red dead fandom, and it totally put me off writing and fandom spaces. im so glad the bad batch has given me a new safe space to enjoy, with motivation and inspiration to write again, even if the things that i write are filthy and disgusting.

not to mention that i've met so many new people, formed friendships, even met them in real life!! star wars celebrations was in london last year, and being bri'ish, i had to go. i wasn't expecting some of my dear fandom friends to cross the ocean to attend, but god damn, i am so thankful that i took a chance and met them, resulting in a wonderful weekend. i'll admit, i hate how shy i was during the whole weekend, but i mean, meeting so many people for the first time all at once was very nerve-racking!!

to think, none of that would have happened if i didnt get into this silly show. so, yeah, thank you to the bad batch. thank you for all my fandom friends. i will continue my obsession even after tomorrow, although i will cry myself to sleep every night if anything happens to crosshair... (am i going to regret writing that line?!)

anyway. heres my sappy post. you know, i have to go to work after the finale airs. im going to be an absolute mess regardless of how the show finishes, i just hope the customers dont mind their bartender crying over star wars as she pours their drinks.

i'll stop rambling now. cheers for reading, and feel free to cry with me whenever you feel like it. neon out x

[raeygina-george]

4, 8, 11, 13, 15 & 20 for the ask game :3

hi mikii :D

4. what was your favourite tv show as a kid?

gonna give a different answer for this one cuz i liked lots of shows as a kid; it wasn't my favorite at the time but i watched madoka magica at a fairly young age and you can definitely tell how that's affected my personality, art, taste in media, etc lol

i didn't watch most of the 'american classic' kids cartoons but i will say that phineas and ferb is (and always will be) my favorite cartoon

8. how do you mark your spot in a book?

bookmark or piece of paper yippee

11. if you were a dragon, what would you look like?

i'd probably be pretty small and not threatening at all. and i think i would look vaguely emo

13. what colour would your lightsaber be?

pink ofc (i've never seen star wars so idk what the color options even are)

15. roller skates or rollerblades or ice skates?

ice skates!! i mean all 3 are super cool and awesome but i love watching figure skating and also idk i like the look of the default ice skates more than the default rollerskates but i can't explain why..... rollerskates and rollerblades have more fun customizations and themes though....

20. weapon of choice in a medieval battle

bow & arrow :D do not put me in close combat i will be useless as fuck

[chaos-monkeyy]

20 Questions for fanfic writers

Tagged by @trainofcommand and @cordeliaperry , thank you 😁

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

351

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

969,232 !

(I had a soft goal of trying to break a million this year, but I probably won't quite make it. Ah well, next year!)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Literally anything I see or read that happens to hit squirrel-brain in the right spot: Stargate, Star Wars, Cosmere / Stormlight Archive / Sanderson's books generally, Loki series & other MCU media, OFMD, Good Omens, Dresden Files, Star Trek (and one-offs for random-ass shows like the Mentalist, 1899, tLoVM, Echoes, etc). Honorable mentions to past beloved fandoms that I'm not super likely to really get back to again include Midsomer Murders, the Witcher, Assassin's Creed, and the Expanse 💕

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Top spot is A wonderful thing (OFMD); the next four in order are all Witcher - A Tight Fit, Stolen Moments, Keep it up, and Undignified.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I love seeing people's reactions, and letting them know how much I appreciate that they took the time and energy to comment (because fuck knows, I don't always have the spoons to comment on stuff myself). And it's so nice to get that connection with people and get excited about stuff together!

(I have missed some replies here and there just because of over-stressing about what to respond, and subsequently feeling guilty that I left them unanswered so long 🙈 ahh, anxiety-brain, you sure are special)

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This is one is easy, it's definitely Zombie / what's in your head. One of only two times I've written Major Character Death, and the only time I've used the Angst and Tragedy tag.

It's fucking brutal, honestly. Damn good, but ouch. Dark. Sometimes I reread it when I just want to cry hopelessly for awhile. It's like an... emotional reset or something.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics have happy endings in the happy-sexy-sated vein, but most of my fics are also happy-sexy-oneshots so there isn't any real conflict or worry to come back from that makes the happy ending something that wasn't a given, if that makes sense. My first thought for something more involved was Inflection Point, but it's not exactly a happy ending for everyone. So I think I'll go with Curious Creatures, because even though I know how it ends and I wrote the damn thing, I still somehow get worried it will have a sad ending every time I go back and reread it, and then I'm relieved all over again at the end.

(Honorable mention to the Adventures of Admiral Prawn and Yee-Claw, because how can we not be happy that he found his lost hat with the help of a new friend 😂)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Honestly nowhere near as much as I'd kind of expect to? 😆

I had some rando dickhead giving me grief in comments on a couple Assassin's Creed fics, and I've seen people griping in fandom social media spaces about a couple of my works and the fact they (gasp) existed in the tags at all, but mostly people have been decent and kept it to themselves when they don't like me or my writing 💖

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes. All of it. All the smut.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Not really! Never published one to AO3. Closest I've got is that Witcher-Assassins Creed WIP languishing in my google docs, and a silly fun little SGA-Original SW thing on tumblr from probably a couple years ago now.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Pretty sure, yeah. Not to the point of really being able to do anything about it but it kinda sucked. Shit happens.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! A couple of them that I know of 😁

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Oh hell yeah. Many times 💕

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Cock/Hole.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Mmm I have two published WIPs that fall into that category exactly, Ill-advised encounters and The skills of Assassins. They were really fun, I'd have really liked to finish them, annnd I probably never will 😅

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty damn good at pacing a story, whether it's a oneshot or a longer fic, and at getting ~feelings~ across (whether it's horny feelings, smushy soft feelings, angsty feelings, whatever). And I've been told that I'm good at like... developing a setting and characters in a way that flows or unfolds naturally with the story while you read? Or something like that? (they said it better and it made me very happy)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

That would be not getting things actually started and just keeping the ideas in my head because What If this time I can't make the words do the thing good enough. Especially whenever I have ideas for something potentially longer or more involved, I do tend to kinda shoot myself in the foot by going "eehhhhh that would be a LOT of work though.... I don't want that kind of commitment....... Maybe I'll write down the idea later............"

Also being constantly distracted by shiny new things. But that part's fun 😆

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I use italics, try to limit it to single words or short phrases, and where possible I make the meaning clear or translated somehow within the fic itself. Last resort, I'll add a little glossary to the start or end notes if it's important to the story.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Midsomer Murders 💖

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

I genuinely don't have a favourite! There's a few I'm extra proud of myself for accomplishing, but I really like most of what I've ever written for one reason or another.

Or another answer would be, my current favourite changes like every week and is usually one of my recent fics 😂 Right now it's probably The Taste of My Blade; it'll be something else in a month.

No pressure tags: @dewdropreader , @mirilyawrites , @starport-seven-five , @loki-is-my-kink-awakening , @dedkake , @wantonwhale , and I won't spam tag all the same people as I did in yesterday's tag game in case you're not feeling it right now, but as always - if you see this and want to be tagged, you are! 💙

[etaindelaserna]

Hello again....Do you mind if I ask your top 5 (or top 10) favorite moments from any media that you love (can books, anime/manga, tv series, movies, games, etc)? Thanks if you want to answer. Sorry if I ask too much or if I accidentally send this ask twice.....

Hello! Don't worry! I'm always appreciative when I see one of your asks pop up. So. Here. We. Go. As always in no particular order:

Gandalf talks to Frodo in Moria about Gollum (The Fellowship of the Ring)

There is something about that dialogue that always struck me as true, as something that touches our very essence. Not passing judgment too hastly, but also that our life is full of opportunities and each day we are confronted with the question what to do with this day. Nothing is lost. It just hasn't happened yet. We can choose whether we want to succeed or fail, whether we want to be good or bad.

Naruto confronts Zabuza about Haku (Naruto)

That moment never fails to make me tear up. Until that moment I didn't even consider Zabuza to be capable of having emotions but Naruto tore his armor away and revealed the deep connection he shared with Haku. I felt sad watching them die and yet it taught me and Naruto a lot about the shinobi lifestyle.

The truth about Itachi is revealed (Naruto)

Yeah, that one was a shock. I always wanted to believe that there was more to Itachi's story other than that he killed his whole clan because he "wanted to test his strength". Especially because he always tried to avoid a fight with Konoha shinobis and definitely didn't seem keen on killing them. But that Itachi sacrificed everything except Sasuke for the village -- that was a punch.

Luffy fights Arlong for Nami (One Piece)

Everything came together in that moment. I knew from the moment Nami couldn't let Zoro drown that something was up and when Arlong showed her that he will never ever let her or her village go, her desperation and fragility accumulated into pure epicness: asking Luffy to help her, Luffy trusting her with his hat and the boys just ready to beat the shit out of Arlong and his crew.

Theoden's speech at the Pelennor Fields (Return of the King)

Goosebumps. Every single time. The words. The music. Everything that leads up to it was pure desperation and then the riders arrive and god damn it. They came. They showed up to fight against the evils of Mordor. I was 13 when I saw this scene for the first time and I wanted to ride with them into battle.

Mufasa's ghost (The Lion King)

Mufasa's death must be something that has been ingrained into every millenials DNA. Just thinking about this scene, the music, Mufasa's desperation to save his son, his face when Scar betrays him, Simba's fear and sadness when he discovers that his father is dead ... it's a tragedy that speaks to one of our deepest fears: the loss of a parent or a loved one. And then ... he comes back to guide Simba, to remind him of his responsibility. It hits home.

Jon Snow's resurrection (Game of Thrones)

Jon was easily one of my favourite characters of the show. When he was killed I didn't want to accept it. It just wasn't possible that this was the end. This was all it amounted to: dead, because he did the right thing. Just like Ned and Robb. So when he was brought back to life I felt alive, too. It gave me hope that after all this something good would come out of it ... but yeah, then season 7 and 8 happened.

Vader saves Luke from the Emperor (The Return of the Jedi)

Another moment that just touched something within me. Luke's love for his father made him turn back to the light side. I've known Star Wars since I can remember but it still makes me cheer. It restores hope.

Morgain brings Arthur to Avalon (The Mists of Avalon)

I always felt that Arthur and Morgain were meant to be, but destiny made them half siblings. And when after all their hardships and years of separation, even after Morgain tried to dethrone Arthur and after he killed Mordred, she still seeked him out, only to find him mortally wounded from the battle -- and Arthur accepted her, was glad to see her one last time and asked her to bring him to Avalon. I felt the tragedy and sadness of their story. I also always felt that Arthur truly loved Morgain but knew that it could never be. So her kidness at the end, promising him, that she wasn't going to leave again, was at least some closure for me.

Harry learns the real truth about Sirius (The Prisoner of Azkaban)

This twist, that Sirius wasn't the one who betrayed Liliy and James, was such a surprise. But what sold the moment for me was the relief Harry felt when after years of abuse and neglect by the Dursleys, he would be able to live with Sirius. I loved that moment. It was so easy to imagine how happy Harry must have felt in that moment.

[illarian-rambling]

Thanks for the tag @kaylinalexanderbooks!

Wip Questionnaire

Rules: answer as few or as many as you'd like!

1. What was the first part of your wip that you created?

For Honor's Outcasts, it was the Trench. There was this game I played a lot while waiting for my sister to get out of cheer practice called Seashine, and I guess I just imagined what would happen if people were trapped down there and how they'd survive. That's where Izjik came from. When I decided she needed a friend, that's how I came up with Sepo. (If any of you want to play the Trench simulator, Seashine is free on mobile)

For Mortal God, the first thing I came up with was the villain, Vermir. I needed a villain for an arc in my dnd campaign, and I figured some crazy lich trying to encase her body in steel while experimenting on the local population was threatening enough. Mashal and Astra were created as a way to get my... less than clever party to her hidden layer. I liked them enough that I decided to write a book about their story.

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

Honor's Outcasts' intro would be War Pigs by Black Sabbath. I think the intro sequence would be a bunch of their battles stitched together chronologically, so you could see everyone's abilities change and grow. Maybe some short sequences from End's siege of the Watchtower mirroring that too.

Mortal God intro would be Night of the Living Ted by Hillbilly Moon Explosion. It's got a country sort of vibe and even though the lyrics don't match at all, I think it fits the chaos of the story.

3. Who are your favourite characters you've made? Why?

Good lord, that's a tough question. I like all my characters. If I had to choose though, I'd pick Izjik for Honor's Outcasts. She was the first one I made, and it's mostly her who drives the story forward. Also, her POV is just really fun to write.

Astra is my favorite from Mortal God, despite all the difficulties I've had with refining her character. She's just a lot of fun, and she's also a sort of plot catalyst like Izjik.

4. What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

I mean, any high fantasy books. I think Honor's Outcasts and the Lies of Locke Lamora would share fans because of the pirates and found family vibes, though Locke Lamora is a lot grittier and less magical.

Mortal God would have a place with the steampunk crowd. A lot of people also compare it to Star Trek? I've never seen Star Trek, so I don't know how accurate that is. In my own mind, I compare both series to Mistborn eras 1 and 2, in that they take place on the same planet, but the second series is some time in the future.

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

The making of the Honor's Outcasts plot was an absolute roller coaster. Every book I wrote like it was the end of the series, only to go, wait no, this doesn't feel done.

With Mortal God, I had more trouble with the characters. I knew I wanted a romance, but I'd never written one before, so setting up that early chemistry between Astra and Mashal was rough. Also, riding that edge of making Ivander a likable jerk wasn't easy.

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

Uh, I don't really like to write pets. I always forget about them and my characters move around too much. Case in point, in Honor's Outcasts book 2, Sepo has a horse. When they teleport post haste to Unity, they leave poor Landhorse behind, and we never see her again. (She just ends up with their neighbors, don't worry)

Similarly, Astra has a cat named Mercher's Day. In book 2, she leaves him with her parents so he's not in danger when they travel north. The meta reason for this was because I knew she was going to have to leave her vardo behind at the end of the story and I didn't want to abandon poor Mercher in some icy city.

7. How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

Transportation changes between the series due to the time jump. In Honor's Outcasts, the quartet's main mode of transport is by boat, at least until Twenari learns to teleport people. Even then, she can only do it once per day, and only with a physical piece of the place she intends to go, so they're still walking a lot.

In the time of Mortal God, trains have been invented and are a common mode of transportation for rich city folk like Ivander. Astra prefers her vardo. The DuClaire Extraordinaire is a steam-powered, steel crocodile-legged, self steering vardo wagon covered in bright paint and electric lights. It isn't fast, but it's her home and it can make it over almost any terrain. It's very much based on Baba Yaga's chicken house.

8. What part of your wip are you working on rn?

The Honor's Outcasts series (still gotta come up with a real name for that) is written. I'm working on finding beta readers, saving up money for professional editing, and working up the courage to query.

Two books of Mortal God are written, with plans for a 3rd under way. I need to find readers for the first two and maybe a developmental editor before I finish the series.

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

People eat found family up, so hopefully that'll mean they like Honor's Outcasts. There's so much found family in those books. Also, queer characters, no romance, and some spooky eldritch horror.

In Mortal God, I think the slow burn between Astra and Mashal will make the romance subplot people happy. There's also robots and I love robots, as well as some themes of classism and empire.

For both series, I think it's my worldbuilding that really shines. I read a lot of high fantasy with super detailed worlds and magic systems, so it's my hope that my books approach some of that.

10. What are your hopes for your wip?

I want to publish both of them. Not really for the money, but I just think it's the best way I can get my stories out there, you know? I long for the day when I'll be able to read fanfic someone wrote of my books.

I'll tag @mk-writes-stuff @somethingclevermahogony @nbwriteschaos @autism-purgatory @cssnder and anyone else who wants in :)

Blanks under the cut

1. What was the first part of your wip that you created?

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

3. Who are your favourite characters you've made? Why?

4. What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

7. How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

8. What part of your wip are you working on rn?

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

10. What are your hopes for your wip?

[zyrafowe-sny]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag @fairytales-and-folklore! No pressure tags: @violet-prism-creatively @candyskiez @branmuffins22 @gakriele-lvs-blog @angelcloves @midnights-dragon @abstract-moth @thegrimshapeofyoursmile @sercezgazety @drev-the-procrastinator @watery-melon-baller @sir-ballister-boldheart @kestrel-wylde @madlad06 @unniebeans @mr-jaybird @halcyonhue and anyone else who sees this

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

29, but 12 of them are drabbles/drabble sequences based on Whumptober/Angstober prompts

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

41,643

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mainly The Owl House and Nimona, but I've also posted I Was a Teenage Exo-Colonist and have WIPs/plot bunnies for other fandoms

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Dear Bat Queen is still beating out Blood Brother, but I wouldn't be surprised if their positions flip. like a bolt out of the blue is a far third, then World's Best Turkey Carver, then arm-upgrading is a love language.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try hard to respond to every comment since I enjoy the community aspect of fanfic. However, there are a few comments that I haven't replied to yet, mostly because I wanted to give a thoughtful response but wasn't in the right headspace for it.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

My Whumptober/Angstober drabbles are pretty angst heavy, as are many of my other drabbles/ficlets.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

arm-upgrading is a love language is almost entirely domestic fluff. World's Best Turkey Carver has more twists before a happy resolution.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not currently. I haven't entirely ruled it out, but I've mostly written genfic.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Nope. I've gotten inspiration from other media, but nothing that counts as a crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Hrm. Elizabeth Bennett and Fitzwilliam Darcy are old friends, though Anne Elliott and Frederick Wentworth give them a run for their money. Alanna the Lioness and George Cooper were also a formative couple in my early teens.

(My TOH fics are mostly-gen even if they nod at ships, my IWATEC fic does strongly imply Sol/Dys, and I am writing Goldenheart in some Nimona WIPs.)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I still have hope for my favorite WIPs!

I need to pick up my TOH grief Christmas fic again if it's ever going to be written.

My Palistrom & Promises series has been on an extremely long hiatus because I am (still) having trouble deciding how much of FTF and WAD I want to keep and how much I will ignore (this may also involve rejiggering the WIP that's furthest along).

I am not sure I can fully execute my phantom limb pain WIP to match my vision, but I think I can salvage at least a shorter fic from it and I am regularly plugging away at it with the help of WIP Wednesday asks.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I can occasionally write punchy 100 word drabbles. I like to think I also do a decent job at character studies. Dialogue is fun to write, but I am less sure that I am good at it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

description, action, real plot, anything longform

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've done a tiny bit of it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Umm... probably Star Wars? It was mostly snippets of dialogue handwritten in journals.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Oooph. I'm going to show Intervention some extra love - I didn't realize how much of my soul I poured into that one until after I started reading comments.

[thedarkestgreys]

tagged by both @stannisfactions and @theangrypomeranian 🖤🖤 thank you friends!

How many works do you have on AO3?

67 but something new is popping up for halloween

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

so it says 976,114 but 266,429 of those words are from @baratheonbrotherspresent group written co-op fics

3. What fandoms do you write for?

primarily Fexi/Euphoria right now. but i've also written fics for ASOIAF/GoT, Eternals, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, and Teen Wolf over the last near decade.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

your violent overnight rush (fexi) stages (jonsa) and i'll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands) (drukkari) slow hands (drukkari) and then a fic that i currently have hidden 😅

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

always! even if it's a quick TYSM FOR READING. i always appreciate when readers take the time to leave a comment, and i want to show my love back.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don't think i've written anything with an angsty ending tbh. yes, lots of angst in various fics, but i'm a happy ending girlie through and through.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

as stated above, im a happy ending girlie. but maybe my heart's gone double time if i had to choose.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i haven't in a long time, but in the past yeah. like drove me away from a ship and shut down my interest in writing for like a solid year. it wasn't even about the writing, it was about the plot (a Sweet Home Alabama AU) and the comments were unnecessary (go read the wiki on the movie yall its not hard) and it just sucked lol. that was a hot minute ago though. we're good now.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

hahahaha do i write smut???? i have an internal checklist of all the smutty things i haven't written yet that i want to give a go, so you could say that. (note: daddy kink is off the list and never to be seen from me again)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i do not! but i like to write a lot of AU's of different media.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

as far as i know of, no i haven't.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i've had some offers in the past to have things translated back in the GoT days but i never gave the okay on it simply because it was a fic i never completed (ya girl used to get in over her head)

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

technically the BBP fics are cowritten but we all did our own chapters following a basic outline of plot/storylines and worked around what other authors were posting. it was chaos and hilarious and the most fun i've ever had

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

to write for? i'd have to say it's fexi, they unlocked a new level in my brain as an author. shout out to my favorite non-canon little crackship that could podrya though - i'll love you forever. to read? this is like asking someone to pick their favorite child. i've read so many incredible fics across a ton of different fandoms. but god i guess the ones i still seek out frequently is dasey and dramione. wouldn't say i have a favorite though?

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

i really want to finish but the wolves came and went and i think i'm sitting on at least two chapters completed for it right now lol someday i'll sit down and finish writing the whole thing and get it posted.

16. What are your writing strengths?

plotting. world building. exposition. keeping characters in character. i've been told i'm good at writing big emotions too?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i've improved greatly but i still struggle with dialogue. 🙃

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

okay so. when i was writing slow hands as i got further into the story i really started describing the actual sign language being used by makkari and druig. hours of watching asl videos to pick out different words or phrases to translate. it was fun and it was hard work and i ended up with a whole new appreciation for asl. but it also felt important to really dig into describing the asl and i'm glad i did it.

19. First fandom you wrote for? ... and i'm still bitter about the cancelled reboot.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

taking yvor out of the equation: my fexi warm bodies zombie au sharing different heartbeats mostly i go back and read it and go "wait i wrote this?" because i don't do zombies at all lol. i'm just very proud of it.

tagging: @sarahcakes613 @muserepeats @calculated2stagger @iwantthemtostay and @idontneedtobeforgiven

[scottysketches]

[20 Question Fic Writer Tag]

Tagged by the lovely @impossibleprincess35 <3

How many works do you have on AO3? Four! Most of my stories are still in the "needs severe editing" phase lol

What is your AO3 word count? 61,414

What fandoms do you write for? Well, I've become rather singularly obsessed with Star Wars: The Clone Wars right now, but I do also write for Mass Effect and Assassin's Creed Odyssey.

What are your top five fics by kudos? Don't Dream It's Over - 60 The Last Resort of Good Men - 39 Thunder - 8 This Is The Beginning - 4

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I do! I'd respond more if my reaction wasn't just, "AAAAAAHHHH THANK YOU FOR READING MY SILLY LITTLE STORY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!"

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Not finished yet, but the angst is-a coming for This Is The Beginning, as it is basically my interpretation of the Legacy of the First Blade DLC for Assassin's Creed Odyssey, which is rife in angst.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? The Last Resort of Good Men. Ends with Dorian Pavus and my warrior/mage combo human Inquisitor getting together. I haven't actually read it in years, so I might end up going back and rewriting it if I find it to be not as good as I remember.

Do you get hate on fics? Not as far as I'm aware.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yep. Mostly romantic smut, but some of the stories that are stuck in the WIP folder have been a little... deranged.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I have written crossovers in the past, but the fandoms would kind of work together anyway? I did start writing a crossover between Doctor Who and Downton Abbey, many many years ago, but never finished it because my favourite Who characters never appeared on screen again despite there being infinite potential to bring them into the fold again.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? No, but I fear it, especially with how sophisticated AI is bound to get before too long.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not as far as I'm aware.

Have you ever cowritten a fic before? I was about to say no, but then I remembered way back in the day, before I discovered AO3 and was uploading primarily on fanfiction.net, I did kind of co-write a Sonic the Hedgehog story with my oldest Internet friend. Unfortunately, I haven't heard from them for years, and all their social media shows their last post as being from 2019, so I have no idea if they're even still alive? But I would really like to rewrite the story we started together all those years ago, now that I've improved.

What's your all-time favourite ship? Oh, God, are we really doing this? I have way too many to choose just one! But, if you have to force my hand, I'd have to say Ezio Auditore/Sofia Sartor (Assassin's Creed Revelations). I just love their dynamic and how their relationship develops, especially in the novelisation of the game.

What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever will? *places a finger on your lips* Shh, they're all being finished!!

What are your writing strengths? Witty one-liners. If there's one thing us Brits are known for, it's our cracking sarcasm. Plus most of my formative years when it comes to my development of my writing abilities occurred during peak Downton Abbey era, with the incredible Dowager Countess of Grantham (portrayed by the one and only Dame Maggie Smith).

What are your writing weaknesses? Hmm... I'd have to say knowing when to break up a chapter. I can go on and on and on if you're willing to let me, but even I would struggle to read a 20-25k-word chapter in one go.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Well, I've been including bits of Mando'a in Don't Dream It's Over, but that's with the Mando'a dictionary open in one tab and a Mando'a translator in another.

First fandom you wrote for? Er, that would either be Harry Potter or The Sarah Jane Adventures.

Favourite fic you've ever written? At the moment, Don't Dream It's Over! I pretty much have the entire story planned out already in my notes app on my phone, which I just reference from when I need to remind myself what's coming up next in the chapter I'm writing at the time.

I'm tagging @whereforartthoumisthios and @jelly-opal!!

[wordsandrobots]

Oh hey you're playing one of those ask games! I haven't seen them on my dash in so long. 3, 4, 17, and ..uhhh.. 23? ( the one about a super specific thing about a character that hasn't made its way into any story) Thanks ~

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

Because at some point, inevitably, it will involve going for a walk.

I do a lot of composing in my head before I start writing, especially for dialogue. And I think best on the move (which is why it wasn't great for me to switch to working from home due to COVID but that's another story). Therefore, it helps to take the occasional break and go wander about somewhere. Especially if I've hit a block and can't think what to do next.

Which is why I can occasionally be found on the bridal path near my house, having muttered conversations with myself as I try to work out pieces of a story. Because I do often literally say my character's dialogue aloud to get the feel of it, it's the best way to make sure speech sounds like something somebody would or can actually say.

Luckily, I live in a university town so I probably don't look especially unusual.

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

I can't think of any off the top of my head, possibly because I put much more thought into the overall texture of a text than I do the individual words. Figuring out what sounds right for the particular character I'm writing and so on. I don't tend to have favourites, though I undoubtedly have habitual phrases.

And I don't think there are any words I hate per se (beyond ones that are in obvious bad taste). It just depends on context. That said, I've always thought 'ineluctable' sounds weird.

[Edit: I just realised another possible answer to this which is less a single word and more a class of word, namely British swear words and specifically the bit that makes me spit blood is when they get used *wrongly* in media. There is a specific cadence to swearing and it is really noticeable when writers don't understand what it is for the place they're setting something. This is obviously a general issue with writing about difference places; I just get the visceral 'that's not how it works' when people muck up UK-style profanity.]

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

The title (Ragnarök in G Minor) -- as well as being a blatant Reconguista in G reference -- is influenced by Mozart's use of G minor to convey tragedy and Bach's 'Polonase in G Minor', which is my hypothetical leitmotif for a particular character. That is to say, I thought of the blatant reference first, then discovered it was extremely justified in context.

Goibniu Base (where much of To Catch a Falling Star was set) is the same Calamity War facility shown briefly at the start of History of a Catastrophe. This can be 'seen' in one of the chapters in this next one but I don't state it outright.

'High-Horn Sweepers' was not so much a reference as me hurriedly grabbing words that approximated the form of a company name. It nevertheless functions as a composite Gundam Wing call-back and joke about what the company does.

The politics of the Martian Union, particularly the influence of the moneyed classes and those previously in positions of power under Gjallarhorn, assays some of the broad strokes of Indian history. I know far too little about the subject to make it a direct parallel (and wouldn't anyway) but that's where my mind went in thinking through how independence worked.

The Jupiter Stations are considerably larger than standard space colonies, having been upgraded and expanded with Jupiter's role as a producer and exporter of industrial raw materials. But I'm still not quite sure what they look like.

I considered describing 598 as having grown a beard, to go with picturing him growing up to look like he belongs in the Hells Angels. Alas, I wussed out.

Kudelia and Atra's marriage is long-distance for about three weeks out of every four. They manage time together via a Rube Goldberg sequence of misdirections that allow Kudelia to visit the farm unremarked and give Eugene's security team a massive work-out in the process. This is not because their marriage is a secret; it's because they refuse to put Akatsuki in the public eye. That kid is getting as near to a normal upbringing as is possible, damnit.

Martian Union military vessels all have two-part names e.g. Dawn Chorus, Bright Heart, Ice Flower. That's an actual in-universe convention and any others I introduced would follow it.

Colour-wise, Martian military mobile suits are desert camo red for ground deployment and orange for space deployment. They comprise a mix of Shidens and Hekijas supplied by Teiwaz and newer Leopards bought from Gjallarhorn. They probably have some Hloekk Grazes too but that's not come up.

There are two things I regret not finding a way to bring back as I wrap everything up: Gundam Paimon and the stun-baton Chad filched during The Ares Affair. Seriously, whatever happened to that thing?

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

My version of Shino is, left to his own devices, vegetarian.

He doesn't have Yamagi's moral objection/disgust over eating meat (side-note: I love how that scene in ep. 27 implies Mikazuki dislikes the idea of eating meat from a living creature too, because that is such a beautiful character note). However, with the positioning of meat as a luxury in the Iron-Blooded Orphans setting, Shino sees it as strange and unusual and he's never found a version of it he genuinely likes. This is, of course, not especially unusual among Tekkadan. He *is* open to new culinary experiences but he's generally just more at home with vegetable dishes.

The only time this has been even remotely relevant is when he ordered the breakfast fry-up at Sampo's caf on Avalanche Under Two.

For an ask game

[oftincturedwords]

Title: Delicate Operation Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Star Wars : The Bad Batch / Star Wars : The Clone Wars Rating: T+ Chapter Warnings: ¡Spoilers! Grief/Mourning , Canonical Character Death , Aftermath of Torture , Implied/Referenced Torture , Mention of Needles , Medical , Canon-Typical Violence , Explicit Language , etc. Characters: Crosshair , Hunter , Wrecker , Omega , Echo , Captain Rex , Fireball , & Gregor Additional Tags: Angst , Emotional Hurt , Hurt/Comfort , Family , Team as Family , Hugging , Crying , etc. Timeline: Set post to Star Wars : The Bad Batch s02e16 ( Plan 99 ) Pairings: Gen. None. Word Count: 5650 Summary: Crosshair had got the message through, he was certain of it. Even though he wasn't able to say the Empire was after the kid still, he had sent the transmission of Plan 88. To go underground. To hide. But they hadn't listened. He should have known they wouldn't have listened to him. Now they all had to live with the consequences. A/N: ¡¡ SPOILER WARNING !! for The Bad Batch series finale. . . .

I am BEYOND devastated by the finale , Tech was my favourite batcher & I did not expect that to happen. So here's all my angst feels , based on a tumblr post of mine because I am grieving & I need to vent my feelings as well as fix this absolutely misery that is canon. Forewarning that this fic is written In Media Res , which means that it begins at a crucial part of the story , but it gets better / happier I swear as the events prior to the first chapter are written out in the upcoming chapters. Just have to set the scene because it's not a rewrite of canon , but rather what needs to happen after all we have seen in the episode. I have no beta thus all mistakes are mine. Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Star War : The Clone Wars & Star Wars : The Bad Batch. Neither am I associated with Lucasfilms , Disney+ , nor any of the actors who portray these characters. I make no money off any of my stories , this is purely for entertainment purposes. Read On : ao3 | under the cut

Waking to rough handling wasn't a sensation Crosshair was newly acquainted with, it was actually one of routine now and only served to stir him towards consciousness rather than the nervous trepidation that it had spurred in the early days. The Doctor nor the Stormtroopers liked it when he was too legarthic to move when asked or when he wasn't aware enough to feel every injection or prick or effects of whatever the droids and scientists had stuck him. Thus he merely swallowed the reflexive urge to groan, his throat was far too dry to elicit any true sound anyway, but he wasn't going to risk showing any further weakness if he could prevent it.

He had barely opened his eyes a bit before his brow was furrowing and he blinked to try to see his surroundings better for their was a pair of hands at both the restraints at his legs and the ones binding his arms and chest to this infernal bed, yet the fingers working at the clasps were hurried and fumbled the release mechanism as if unused to them.

With however long he and many other clones had been here, no guard nor doctor was unfamiliar nor stupid enough to fumble a restraint.

“Wha-?” The butchered word came unbidden from his parched mouth at catching sight of a black helmet that he once knew to be partially painted white instead of teal and orange, yet the similarity was struck directly through Crosshair’s core once his bleary vision had settled more so.

“Easy Cross, we’ll have you outta here in a minute.” Came a deep and rumbling voice that provided secondary confirmation that Crosshair hadn't needed, but nearly had him feeling woozy with the implication of what was happening.

His transmission had gone through. He was certain of it. Before the toxin had spilt too far into the room and choked off any further information he could have sent along the secure channel, he had ensured that it went through. Plan 88. To go underground, you are being hunted. To hide.

“No.” Crosshair tried to say whilst he worked to wiggled his hands free and upwards so he could physically push Hunter away if needed, but his speech was cracked and a mere whisper. His coordination and strength of movement failed him as well, hardly twitching from where they lay against the thin padding along the biobed he was on.

“Sh, almost got it.” Was the words that his pathetic attempt at moving had drawn from Hunter then, soft and consoling even with the modulator distorting it as if they were cadets back on Kamino and had just returned from a particularly rough session with Nala Se’s various tests.

No, no, no! They couldn't be here!

Crosshair grit his teeth together, feeling them grind to the point of creaking despite his otherwise lack of strength and the odd stinging slice across his now closed eyes. How he wished he could buck against the very hands gently yet fervently finishing at removing the belted restraints from his frame, to kick them off and spit venomous words their way. Anything to get them to stop and turn around before they were noticed.

“Kriff.” The low curse came from Hunter then, his voice managing to sound both terse and contrite, “Sorry, I know you're hurt, that this hurts, but we've got to move.”

“No.” Crosshair tried again, realising Hunter was hearing him grind his teeth and assuming it was pain rather than a mounting distress over their continued presence here.

But the sole word he attempted to utter was nearer a croak than anything concrete, and Hunter didn't even seem to catch it this time as he was focussed upon shutting down whatever monitor was reading his vitals amongst other things along the screen panelling of the biobed’s overhang.

This had the sting at his eyes growing a fraction until it was soothed by the shallow pooling of tears at the edges of his eyes when he peered them open again. Blinking dispelled with them only a little and he felt one drip down the corner of his right eye. Hidden only by the fact Hunter was standing by his left side.

“Got it.” Hunter voiced suddenly to the room, likely to the rest of the squad stationed about, once the screen’s beeped softly once then went dark, and it was the that Crosshair noticed a burly form of Wrecker stepping nearer whilst a smaller dark armoured frame quickly stepped away from the base of the bed to replace the sentry guard at the door.

“He's hurting.” Crosshair beard Hunter say in warning to Wrecker, the implied ‘be gentle’ didn't need to be said nor did anyone within hearing range actually think being gentle would be an option if it came down to a firefight.

It was more important to scoop and run then worry about injuries and pain management later, when laser bolts stopped firing and the threat of imprisonment was lessened greatly. Every soldier knew that.

But Wrecker still nodded at Hunter’s words, and when he bent down to slip his arms underneath Crosshair’s knees and shoulders, it was with a ginger finesse that he hadn't ever seen nor felt from his older brother. And Crosshair could do nothing to fight it, too disoriented still and far more weak than he had realised. Although he tried to sneer through his teeth, a sibilant breath forced past his clenched jaws, one that he had made hundreds of times before in their company to showcase his distaste or attitude.

The pain he felt at being moved was secondary to the fear he held for what would happen to his siblings if they were caught, it intermingled with the building temper at them having disregarded his warning.

“Sorry, sorry.” Wrecker spoke in that not-quite whisper that he always had, unable to gauge exactly what constituted a whisper since the blast injury to the head that had caused his signature scars had dampened his hearing on the one side, although he had always had an issue with ‘inside voice’, he gave his best attempt at it when needed, “I gotcha though.”

It's when he’s lifted into Wrecker’s arms, his head lulling against his brother’s cuirass that Crosshair catches a glimpse of white armour amongst the familiar black armoured bodies. The sight sent a lancing of panic through his chest, seeming to flood his veins with ice even as his heart rate kicked up. Yet any further observations he would take were swallowed up by a welling of dizziness, crashing through his frame with a shudder as he clenched his eyes closed to combat against it.

However, he noted once the intense spinning's endymion had quieted a few moments later that it wasn't the plain white of stormtrooper armour, but the aged and well worn design that belonged to clone troopers.

Squinting his tired eyes against the lingering tug of whatever drug was still working to sap at his consciousness, Crosshair managed to catch sight of the details painted along the nearest one's helmet and recognise the blue jaig eyes of Captain Rex’s helmet, even though the rest of his frame was concealed by a dull grey cloak. Meaning the other mostly white armoured forms holding a security line towards the door must be on their side as well.

Despite the darkness edging along the corners of his vision and the persistent blurriness that faded then returned at intermittent intervals, when Wrecker turned to join the rest near the exit, Crosshair managed to locate the shorter stature belonging to the kid. The purple glow of her energy bow stung at his eyes, to which reflexive tears began to prick at the back of them, but from what he could see, she appeared well enough to walk on her own and yield her weapon.

Didn't mean it would remain that way. These idiots shouldn’t have come here. No plan ever survived engagement with the enemy so whatever operation they had outlined and luck they carried he knew wouldn't last.

“The north corridor is clear. I’ve rerouted the guards with false directives towards the south side, we're good for another few minutes.”

That sounded like Echo, Crosshair absently thought.

But then again one reg sounded just like another to most, but in having spent time around that one particular reg, he was certain it was him. Although he couldn't see him just now, his view was limited by his waning ability to focus his sight with much clarity and that he couldn't lift his head from where it lay without a resurgence of dizziness.

It was already difficult to focus his eyes on any one thing, which was something he was striving to not think too much about given his sight was a paramount sense to him, tied to his very identity and thusly his sense of worth.

The involuntary sparks of trepidation that bordered the precarious edges of panic whenever he noticed the degree of blurriness when he looked about at a distance or the way his surroundings seemed to wobble then tilt at random had come more frequently now that he had been awake for longer than a handful of minutes without the additive of physical torture to occupy his thoughts away. He hoped the change in his vision was merely a side effect of the interrogation droid's jabs, or whatever they had been routinely injecting him with. And he hoped that those wishful thoughts weren't in vain.

But such musings were fleeting still. Beyond exhausted though he hadn't moved in days, it was a struggle to even keep his eyes open for longer than a few minutes at a time and each time it was all more of an effort to open them again. No matter how much he wanted to remain aware, present until he could ensure everyone was flying away from this blasted place and safe, Crosshair felt his mind drifting away.

Not quite falling away to unconsciousness, but floating elsewhere towards a space unfeeling of the ever present aches throughout his frame that seemed to concentrate within his head and around every joint along his limbs and spine. Away from the worries over his siblings folly in coming after him, in risking more than just their lives to come rescue him. Removed from thinking of their fates if they failed, if even one of them were unable to see the mission through…

“Contact on the right!”

The reverb of the shouted warning was devoured by the discharge of multiple blasters all at once, fluctuating thereafter yet continuous the din was, sliced through the fragile peace Crosshair had been able to fall into whilst he swayed slightly in Wrecker’s arms as they moved through the corridors of the base.

Muted greys and flashes of light flashed by at a fiercer speed at the increase in noise all around. Yet any distinction Crosshair could usually pick out when in a skirmish; which blasters were firing when, who was shouting what orders, and how to gauge which way an outcome would fall for their side became lost to the ringing that was rapidly growing in his ears. For jostled in Wrecker’s arms he had been when the large clone had sprinted then ducked away from the enemy fire and crashed to his knees behind whatever cover he could.

The swift action had caused pain to flare anew throughout Crosshair’s abused frame and a tidal wave of dizziness to wash over him, one that left him weakly clinging to Wrecker’s cuirass in a vain attempt to keep himself grounded, to get his head to accept that he wasn't spinning nor being tossed about on an unruly sea.

But it was a futile attempt, no matter how desperate he was to remain awake and somewhat alert, awareness fled from him within his next breath.

— & .. ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀᴅ ʙᴀᴛᴄʜ .. & —

When he next came to, there was a cacophony of noise around him. The exchange of blaster fire resounded throughout the corridors, the signature discharge sounds from the weapons as well as the pinging searing when they struck a bulkhead or one of the crates they were using as cover. The thud of plastoid covered bodies hitting the deck plating from the other side came at various intervals. As did the blossoming alarm of dispatched and armed droid poppers.

He was lent against the unyielding carbon-scored surface of someone's armour, sitting between their knelt legs whilst his upper body laid against the armour of their torso. They were crouched in a kneeling position to shield Crosshair with a bent knee and an arm wrapped around his side as their other hand held a decee that they periodically used to fire over the stacked line of crates they were using as cover.

The armour colour wasn't one Crosshair knew yet the finer details of its design showed it to be the standard issue phase II clone trooper armour all regs. had been given during the war instead of the overly glossy and new gear the stormtroopers’ all wore. Except it appeared to be painted a mottled green and brown colour, scuffed to shit but distinctly so. As if attempting to mimic camouflage but only a limited amount of paint had been available.

He must have made some sort of noise, although he couldn't feel much past the foggy wooziness that threatened to go towards outright vertigo if he moved his head too much, because the body underneath him shifted to allow the helmet head to dip below the line of cover and near his face.

A silent moment passed where it seemed he was being surveyed by the other, either checking if he had attempted to say something or if his health was failing further, before a modulated voice cut through the continued blaster fire and clamour of the on-going skirmish, “Take it easy, vod. We’re nearly outta here.”

Crosshair was with a brother, even if it wasn't one of his batch, he knew he could trust him, reg. or not be damned. Echo had shown him that, and Mayday had hammered that lesson in home. Or so he liked to think it was his brothers that had imparted that change rather than the steril coldness and inhumanity shown to him and countless others by the Empire. But Crosshair wasn't one to lie to himself, even if whatever drug still lingering in his veins allowed his mind to indulge in that desire before he was lost to the depths of unconsciousness again.

— & .. ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀᴅ ʙᴀᴛᴄʜ .. & —

“Easy, Cross, we're almost outta here.”

Those assurances came through the turbulent haze of an exhausted dizziness, one that left Crosshair feeling both nauseous and faint. Yet he clung to the vestiges of consciousness he had attained.

Something was happening, something he knew he should be helping with. The urgency he could feel thrumming through the back of his mind in hopes to urge muscles to obey and get him up, however there was little such determination could do against the lingering onslaught of whatever cocktail of serums that scientist had poured into his veins whilst draining him of more blood samples than was ethical, or safe.

Determination alone wasn't enough to get him moving, but it seemed to be of little consequence to whoever was carrying him. The patterned sway that was exasperating his lightheadedness followed the motion of someone running, despite the sturdiness of the arms around him, it didn't wholly stop the sensation of teetering from one side to the other.

But before Crosshair could worry over if the vertigo would send him into a fit of dry heaving since he hadn't eaten anything in the last handful of times he had been conscious, darkness swallowed him once again.

— & .. ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀᴅ ʙᴀᴛᴄʜ .. & —

Being immediately pulled away from the dark nadir of unnatural sleep by a sharp pinch within the crock of his arm wasn't something Crosshair was unused to either. Although it always succeeded in waking him up all the quicker, his mind shrugged off the effects of slumber with battlefield readiness despite the lingering shadows of wooziness and fog the drugs they had given him had caused. The scientists were likely now trying to replace them so he wouldn't wake fully and cause trouble. It seems they could do their little experiments without the need of a conscious host.

Alert in a near instant, Crosshair peered open his eyes. Tired and gritty though they felt, he blinked a few times in quick session to clear them for he didn't see any scientist nor doctor above him, but a set of brothers kneeling at his side.

The pale and stern countenance of Echo was nearest with the half-tattooed face of Hunter was beside him, both were knelt on their knees beside the bunk Crosshair realised he was laid supine on. Each were looking down at his arm and appeared to be setting up an IV. A rippling of disgust coursed through his insides at catching sight of the clear fluid jostling round in the bag with a bright green attaché and the tubing with liquid beginning to flow through it into the line they placed in his arm.

Shuddering at that, Crosshair took a deeper breath to ground himself. It wasn't as if he was a stranger to needles or medical equipment, growing up as he did should have desensitised him to it all, but he couldn't help the roiling of nausea at seeing such things so soon.

“Heya Crosshair, take it easy.”

Echo’s voice drew Crosshair’s attention away from his inward revulsion, causing him to open his eyes to look towards the other once again, realising now that he had the focus of both brothers now.

“It's just some saline and a broad spectrum antibiotic.” Echo quickly began explaining what exactly they were giving him, gesturing to both components with his hand as he said them, “We aren't sure what they gave you there so we're playing it safe with just rehydration and antibiotics. You’ve uh, you've got quite a few marks that aren't looking so good.”

“But we're going to put some bacta on them.” Came a higher accented voice then, the one belonging to the kid, as she stepped over on the other side of Echo and into Crosshair’s current view range, “Here's the patches.”

“Thanks.” Echo nodded whilst taking the proffered patches to hand off some to Hunter before he set about reaching over to place a patch along Crosshair’s neck, narrating as he did, “Just going to put this here, small sting then it should feel better.”

“How're you feeling?” The kid asked, staring down at him from where she stood nearest his head, her features openly earnest yet pinched in apparent concern.

Crosshair hesitated a moment, considering an honest reply to something snippy, but exhaustion won out any attempts at sardonic wit and he settled on, “Sore.”

Omega nodded as if that made perfect sense, and it had Crosshair’s chest giving a twinge at remembering Hemlock’s want of their sister. But he tried to mentally shove that fear away, she was here and thus hadn't been captured. They hadn't listened to him, but Omega hadn't been captured nor had they all been taken in their misguided rescue mission.

“We can't give you anything for any pain yet, not until we can be sure it won't negatively interact with the drugs they injected you with.” Echo relaid contritely, his expression appeared pained over the fact he couldn't do more.

“It's fine.” Crosshair drolled, his own voice rasped more than usual, whilst he turned to angle his head around to survey the rest of the Havoc Marauder's interior. A home he hadn't seen in many, many months.

His gaze caught sight of Rex’s profile with another two unfamiliar forms in clone trooper armour just past the doors of the cockpit whilst Hunter had moved away from the bunk to pick up a ration bar and sip pack before coming back over to his side.

“Think you can eat something?” Hunter asked, holding up the items to show it was a blue ration bar he held.

“I saved you the blue one!” Wrecker’s boasteous voice was muffled by the way he held his stuffed tooka near his face, and Crosshair finally spied the biggest of their group sitting over to the side behind where Omega was still standing. She had stepped back to free Crosshair’s line of sight to Wrecker, she was smiling half heartedly at him.

Yet his older brother’s words, either of them, went unheeded. For everyone of his old squad was here, except for the familiar white armoured oddity in a group of usually black painted armour oddballs. Even the kid had darker armour on than Tech ever wore, and despite the additions of orange and teal to their armour, there was still the absence of his little brother’s nonconforming armour.

In that instance, Crosshair realised that he can’t recall ever seeing a glimpse of his younger brother amongst the blurred and foggy moments his memories hold of his rescue. Which was strange given Tech was the most medically trained corpsman their squad had, thus it should have been Tech at his side then and now. Not Echo and Hunter.

Just as it should have been Tech working to disconnect the monitors and alarms that attached him to that biobed given he younger clone’s penchant for navigating or circumventing technology with his expert slicing skills. Not Hunter.

Same with the door he had seen Echo using his scomp to open whilst he was held by some unknown clone in green painted armour. It should have been Tech at the door, or filling the role of a corpsman. Not a brother he didn't even know the name of.

A creeping sense of dread began to crawl with long spindly fingers up his spine whilst its tresses managed to coalesce and pool in a sticky withering mass within his stomach. It sent another wave of adrenaline crashing through his frame, spurring him to shuffle his arms up so his elbows were underneath him to allow him to sit up somewhat and shove at Echo’s instinctual attempts to press him back down onto the thin mattress of the bunk.

“Where’s Tech?” Crosshair asked once he was upright and facing Hunter, breath a touch laboured but his voice audible, in an unknown mirroring of Omega’s words under nearly the same circumstances.

The effect of his simple question was immediate. And Crosshair felt the very air snatched from his lungs at the irrefutable answer that lay plainly upon his brothers’ and sister’s faces.

“Tech…” Hunter was the one to break the heavy yet crystalline silence, shattering it by his tone alone in how very dispirited it was, and Crosshair knew for certain. Their little brother hadn't made it home.

“How?” Crosshair stumbled through the sole word, it falling forth from his lips before he could give much thought towards if he even wanted to know the answer.

Knowing his little brother had been lost attempting his rescue was already a difficult enough fact to swallow, but there was a prickling along his conscience at accepting it, he needed to know what his brother’s last moments entailed. He hadn't been there as witness to them, he had been the unintentional orchestrator of them, thus if this was the only way Crosshair could pay some twisted respect to Tech’s passing, he would.

If Tech had been caught by a blaster bolt, which seemed the most likely outcome, enough time spent on a battlefield could tell him countless ways he could have died depending on where the bolt had pierced his body. If it'd been an explosion, Crosshair had seen plenty of corpses laid about by various degrees of detonations and based upon the type of blast he would be able to envision what end his brother had met.

A shaky sigh drew Crosshair’s attention away from his internal preparations, his rapt attention upon Hunter once more. He wanted to know, no matter what further grief or disturbance it caused him, he needed to know the extent of his little brother’s sacrifice for him. He would carry whatever it was with him so that it would never be forgotten.

Hunter cleared his throat, gaze seemingly adhered to the deck plating even though his eyes shifted about without looking up, his voice was rough when he began to speak, “We didn't know where you were being held at first. Echo found out form one of his contacts about a secret meeting being held with Imperial leaders, Hemlock was one of them. So we went there and infiltrated the base on Eriadu in hopes to put a tracking beacon on his ship.”

“But the only way into the base was on a set of railcars that ran over the mountain valleys.” Hunter continued, his breathing remained steady, almost deliberate in its candace of every measured inhale and exhale, “We got in fine and Omega placed the tracker, but our exit strategy was complicated when we encountered Saw Gerrera and his men, they had placed bombs around the base and set them off. Our only exit was to backtrack towards the railcars, but by that time the entire base had been alerted.”

“They shut down the power to the railcar system and sent fighters after us with the intent to shoot the overhead binding clamps that connected the cars to the rails.” It was recited as if it were a mission report, words descriptive without being overwhelming, yet there was a removed tension that underlaid every word, as if Hunter needed to keep it professional least recounting the event would consume him completely and steal his voice entirely away, “Tech left the car to go restore power at one of the pillars whilst we provided covering fire. He did it, but when he tried to come back, one of the ships hit the car Tech was on before he could get inside. He managed to secure his grapple line onto it, but the whole thing was being pulled down by the broken section.”

“Tech,” Hunter’s voice dropped away before he took a deep breath in, his gaze finally flicked upwards to stare at Crosshair, “Tech saw this and shot the connexion point keeping the two cars together. H,He fell with the damaged car, which freed ours and allowed us to escape.”

“I was clear in my transmission! I told you Plan Eighty-Eight” Crosshair snapped in a shout before Hunter could say anything else, an unbridled anger had heightened his volume whilst the underlying denial and blossoming grief that he sought to shove away behind his fury hardened his tone and sharpened it to jagged points, “Not Forty-Nine or Thirty-Three! Plan Eighty-Eight!”

“Now hang on, Crosshair—” Echo’s stern voice was curbed, gentled in a way that had Crosshair’s ire raising rather than soothing it, as he strove to intervene before things became any more heated and began to hedge towards out-of-control.

However, it did nothing to deter Crosshair, who outrightly sneered at the interruption without taking his eyes off of Hunter and flung forth the accusation, “Tech would still be here if you had just listened to me!”

“And trading you out for him is somehow any better?” Hunter spat back suddenly, his own volume and hostility rising to match his younger brother’s, although it was more tempered whilst Crosshair’s remained wild.

“Yes!” Crosshair’s returned shout held enough vehemence to sharpen the ache within his throat to a needlepoint, prolonged mild to moderate dehydration and unavoidable outcrys whilst enduring torture had let it in tatters.

Silence fell between them then, spreading out about the Havoc Marauder within a single breath. Only the muffled workings of the ship's internal systems could be heard and the harsh, near rasped, breaths from Crosshair.

“Crosshair.” Came the near choked way Hunter had just spoken his name, as if emotion had strangled any steadiness from his vocal cords.

“No.” Crosshair snapped, his ire hadn't petered out when Hunter’s had, it had only grown in light of his mounting grief, it sharpened his tongue to the point his words held razors on their ends, “You should have ensured you all were hidden and safe, just as Plan 88 dictates! Away From the Empire to raise the kid and live the life you chose. I had made my choice, remember? I was living with it.”

“You really think Tech would have let me do that?” Hunter asked, voice soft in a way that it was near breathless, all energy seeming to have evaporated from his frame, “I did argue against coming to get you when it seemed impossible, but Tech wouldn't have it. He said you were still our brother and we don't leave our own behind. How could I argue with him on that when I already broke our one rule and seen all that’s happened since then?”

Crosshair ground his teeth together at his eldest brother’s words, the flesh around his eyes pinched and his lips downturned all the more at the deepening of his scowl. In truth, his expression had tightened and twisted to keep the overwhelming desire to crumble completely back. His eyes stung with an imminent threat of tears in tandem with an ache blooming along his the very sinew of his ribs in want to sob.

“He and Echo never stopped researching, making covert comms. to contacts whilst Wrecker and Omega ensured our stores were stocked with whatever we may have needed.” Hunter continued, seeming desperate to ensure Crosshair saw how much his little brother had fought to get him back, “Poured over tactics and maps, and any information Tech brought us. He wanted you back with us, and nothing wasn't going to stop him. Nor Echo, or Wrecker or Omega.”

“But you were out voted.” Crosshair redirected with a terseness he didn't feel, grasping at anything to reignite the embers that had once been a roaring anger.

A defeated sorrow edged along Hunter’s expression, one that bespoke the great weight belonging to mistakes made that weren't easily absolved. Ones that would be carried for longer than they should and be present in the shadows of every quiet moment for years to come.

“I didn't want to risk Omega.” Hunter answered, an earnest protectiveness wrapped itself around his tone and intertwined with his words , although that same haunted sorrow kept its heavy talons within his countenance, “But were a family just as much as a squad, and she was willing to take the risks and so we all were. We knew what it may cost us, all of us if we failed. Tech would have rather given his all to try than leave you at the hands of that Imperial Doctor.”

“Well, he certainly succeeded.” Crosshair was only able to draw a short breath after those calloused words left his tongue, they had shook with the effort to keep them rigid and unaffected which shattered whatever illusion of resentment and ire he was striving to keep up, as his vision blurred beyond sight by a wash of tears.

“Oh Cross.”

He wasn't certain which of his brothers that broken whisper had come from, but he felt a pair of arms come up to touch his shoulders on either side. That was the final weight to break whatever tautly strung tether had kept him upright, for he folded forwards into whoever’s chest was before him. His forehead pressing against the curve of his brother's shoulder, feeling the fabric of the modified blacks he wore in accompaniment to the ticklish brush of long hair against his skin which told Crosshair it was Hunter who he had crumbled into and whose arms hadn’t hesitated any to encircle around his lithe frame.

Hunter’s embrace was warm and familiar, though Crosshair hadn't been held like this since they were all young cadets. Hardly older than four at the time, it had been literal years since then, yet he could remember how it had helped to be cradled in his older brother’s arms with Hunter leaning his head down to rest his cheek against the top of Crosshair’s head. Comforted and safe so long as he was there.

However, there was little comfort to be found this time.

Not when Crosshair felt a two presence press against his side and a apri of arms on either side wrap round his back, the heaviness of one could only belong to Wrecker which meant the other had to have been Echo. And then a small pressure wormed their way to his side and tucked between where Wrecker was attempting to enfold them all into his arms, which could have only been Omega, who seemed to have squeezed between them so she could be touching them all.

Shuddering with a vehemence, Crosshair tightened his grip on the material Hunter’s blacks. A stuttering breath had left his lungs, over and over the hitched and broken gasps so closely mirrored the act of sobbing. Unable to cope with the fissure that had cracked into his chest, a chasm had torn directly through his heart at the very obvious absence in their huddle. One that would never be filled to completion again.

TBC.

[notasapleasure]

10 favourites meme

I got tagged by @batri-jopa, thank you friend! Funnily enough I had a long draft of my 10 favourite characters written out and ready to go, though I hadn't been tagged, so this just provides the perfect opportunity to post it! Tagging @stripedroseandsketchpads @erinaceina @notfromcold @bellaroles and anyone else who wants to take part.

I put the characters below the cut because it got long as I tried to justify myself, but I thought I'd copy you and also give a top 10 fandoms by way of introduction for the few new followers who have found me :)

Fandoms (counted as media that I've created fanworks for or actively commented on others' fics for) and what I love about them

The Lymond Chronicles aka tiny fandom: I love all the outsider perspective and unreliable narration around the protagonist, but also I love that he isn't perfect and a lot of problems are caused by his failure to trust people/open up. He has his reasons for being like that, but I like a story where it's clear the hero/great man actually needs those around him (even if they also frequently fuck up and misunderstand things) to get to the end of the story. It's the first series I read since LotR that immersed me so thoroughly in its world - an uncompromising, rich and nuanced take on a huge geographical sweep of history.

And Then We Danced: Oh, it's all about taking beautiful traditions that someone says mustn't ever be changed/aren't for you and making them your own, proving there's no ownership over art forms and culture. It's learning about yourself through art and through other people, it's standing up to the bigots and finding community and defining your nationality and traditions anew in more inclusive, vibrant ways. It's also all the pain of not having the chance to find out more about a first love and all the potential for what might happen in the gaps in the narrative.

The Terror (TV series): haha people sure do put themselves in Positions, don't they? I am fascinated by the hubris and the absurdity of the Franklin expedition, and how the show zones in on the isolated men in their boats and puts their values - good and bad, helpful and destructive - under a microscope and watches what happens to them under the stresses of darkness, illness, hunger and hauntings. There is so much love in the show even as everything that can go wrong does go wrong, there are all these little rituals and objects that people use to give meaning to what they're doing.

Star Wars (predominantly Rogue One): Rogue One reminded me of the SW universe I loved as a teenager, the unimportant people who weren't Force sensitive or powerful, but who fought to do the right thing anyway. I will be watching Andor for the same reason (and tagging so my friends who need to block it can block it - and not letting the Mouse have my money for any of it don't worry about that).

Ripper Street: I loved seasons 1, 3, 4 and 5. The less said about 2 the better for me, though I know a lot of people on here are big fans. In my head, there was a much more interesting story lurking beneath season 4 and 5 that I'm always disappointed wasn't drawn out - the immigrant children who were traumatised on their journey to London ('the world comes to London and London becomes the world' <3) and responded in such different ways. And by god I wanted Reid to answer for all he did wrong but I loved that fucked up man and his Victorian hypocrisy. Hmmm when I stop to think about it I really want to re-watch, though maybe only cherry picking the episodes that tie into my alternative narrative theories.

Utopia (C4 series): I have written fic for this! So odd as it may be, this is a fandom. I haven't been able to bring myself to re-watch since the pandemic because yikes, and it's so cruel that it ends as it does, unfinished. But it's so compelling - season 1 is good, season 2 is absolutely heart-rending. Everyone is complex and fascinating and always developing - the games of 3D morality chess going on are wild, and again, love is such an important factor even as everyone fucks up again and again.

Musketeers (BBC series): I never did watch season 3, it all felt far too silly by then. It's on the list because I wrote a couple of fics way back when and it was the first time I'd written fic in well over a decade. Episode 1 had such potential. The cast was so good. But it just...wanted to be a silly BBC series and not a complicated historically-engaged series so I'll simply enjoy drunk and grumpy Tom Burke!Athos, beautiful-haired Jerott-fancast Pasqualino!D'Art, luschious-moustached cunningulus-loving Santiago Cabrera!Aramis and unutterably perfect WHY-HASN'T-HE-BEEN-ALLOWED-TO-MAKE-THAT-DUMAS-FILM-YET Howie Charles!Porthos without trying to engage my brain these days.

Ghosts (BBC series): I haven't written for it, but I had a glorious binge of Captain/Havers fics after seeing that episode and it gave me enormous feelings of The Kids Are All Right because, while a lot of it felt like it was written by quite young fans, there was so much great ND!Captain and acespec!Captain but there was also some excellent what-if-they'd-just boned fic and I loved it all and it was just the kind of delightful escpaist comfort fic I would hope for from the series.

Castlevania: I still haven't watched the last series wtaff!! Hey guess who loves the big burly idiot who's accomplished in battle and hates how much he's become attached to the effete blond bisexual disaster? haha yeah. Trevor my love you're the hottest cartoon character since Fox from Animals of Farthing Wood :p I haven't written fic for it, but I do love me some filthy Trevor/Sypha/Alucard smut :D

Lupin: Again, not one I've written for, but goddd I want all the Lupin/Benjamin fic! Classic 'male protag is kind of a disaster in the life of every woman he interacts with but he's got a best friend who is never really given any background reason for why he helps him out of literally every scrape so I have decided they're better together'. That is all.

Bonus!! Our Flag Means Death: so far only really interacting with fic when my friend writes it, but I love to see how much @notfromcold loves it! All the characters are great and I don't really have anything to add to fandom but I enjoy it a lot :)

Ok now ten favourite charcters. Not in any particular order, I just wonder if putting them side by side and rotating them in the light will make any patterns emerge.

Eta: holy shit. Yeah. There are patterns. There's a lot of 'characters who pour all their emotions directly into someone else to help further the protagonist/narrative journey and end up not getting anything to show for it in the end'. There are also some crazy ladies :')

And while I didn't put Merab or Irakli in the list below, you can see why either would fit my style. I will say though, that while I fell for Merab when I watched ATWD it was seeing people blame Irakli for hurting him and acting like Irakli was just a heartless asshole that made me furiously protective over Irakli and made me want to explore Merab's own worse side too (love himmm but he's not perfect either).

1. Jerott Blyth (Lymond Chronicles)

Loyal, confused, competent and doomed to an unhappy ending. A brilliant second, who will go along with nearly anything if you just explain it to him - he needs trust and leadership and is unfortunately in the shadow of a leader who finds it nearly impossible to trust and share. But when he does!! Oh. My heart. Jerott's never bitter about being second best though, he's just a man who thinks he's simpler than he is, caught up in a world of complicated, fascinating, infuriating people.

2. Faramir (Lotr)

A good man trying to do good who is Never Enough for the person he looks up to. Happy to be a steward not a king, dutiful to the point of self-destruction. Thoughtful, intelligent and cultured, but generous and devoid of bitterness. Like Jyn and Cathy and lots of the others in this list, it's also particularly his relationship with another that I vibe off (I could have put Éowyn as the fave just as easily), and the way he sees in her the sadness he's experienced himself, but he chooses to reach out, to offer her a different perspective, to be kind and never bitter. Love my depressed kids who feel they'll never live up to expectations but find each other and learn to heal together.

3. Harry Goodsir (The Terror TV series)

...a pattern begins to emerge. Another good man who starts off thinking that the rules are there for a good reason, wanting to see the best in everything, believing that mutual benefit can come from a deeply imperialistic, imbalanced encounter. But he's not a pushover - he is content with his position until he feels he isn't respected and he sees his values are not those of his superiors, and then he stands up for his principles and standards. Does he become bitter? I'd say not - he's fuelled by a kind of singular, protective fury in the end, a desire to save whatever about the place can still be saved from the selfish destructiveness of his people.

4. Deborah Goren (Ripper Street)

She puts herself out for others to a point where it's almost unhealthy - and when it becomes so, she draws her boundary and says 'no more', she won't be the homewrecker when there's a chance for Reid to be this honest with Emily still. Again without bitterness or meanness, just in recognition that she can do no more without losing herself.

5. Jyn Erso (Rogue 1)

Closest thing to a protagonist so far on this list, but she's still in an ensemble piece and only effective because of that! I'm tempted to say it's specifically her connection with Cassian that makes her, and him, characters I love so much. They're mirrors, as Diego Luna said in an interview iirc, and it's by seeing each other that they remember their fire and determination to resist the empire (not that Cassian has forgotten this, but the hope he uses as a mantra has been something beyond him personally for a time, and seeing Jyn crawl her way out of the emotional pit she was in reminds him of things he's forgotten imo). Again competent and doomed, I suppose she fits my preference for secondary characters in the sense of the wider universe - she and the rest of the R1 crew are the sacrifice needed in order for the OT to happen and for Leia, Luke and Han to have their stories.

6. Daniel Molloy (IWTV TV series)

Not the protagonist, acts as a sounding board and outside perspective on the things the MC tells themself, doomed in the sense of his illness and age relative to the immortals he's found himself around...he fits the bill! He might be a bit more snarky and bitter than some of the others, but idk, I still don't think bitterness is his predominant trait - he's incisive and observant and wryly competent. I can't wait to find out more about him.

7. Luke Skywalker (Star Wars OT)

Haha this one is a protagonist Jo!! Literally the Hero on his journey!!

Well let me tell you that 10-year-old me, when first exposed to Star Wars, was not as yet familiar with old Joey C and formalist approaches to storytelling. There are a couple of reasons I think it's important to have Luke on this list. 1) I distinctly remember him being the first blorbo I had where I was like 'this trait [earnest optimism fwiw] actually annoys me deeply and yet he is still my fave. Why?' and 2) whatever media I had been consuming and whatever people I was around, it was a fixed idea for me at that point that The Hero Gets The Girl, and the sibling reveal was a '???? *animal turns its head 90 degrees to try to understand* moment. The hero doesn't become a kind of sexless monk-knight who insists fascists can be redeemed because they're dad-shaped! I joke I joke. Vader is far from dad-shaped, he's just dad. Anyway I recall being FASCINATED and vexed by Luke constantly and he was without doubt my favourite of the original trio. Was that because I thought he should be because he's positioned as the hero? Hmm. Maybe. But I remember it being a kind of thing with the people around me that liking Luke was a bit babyish, and Han was the more 'complex' 'grown-up' character. (Insert Always Sunny conspiracy board meme.jpg IT WAS THE SAME THING WITH STEPHEN GATELY OF BOYZONE WHEN I PREFERRED HIM TO RONAN something something cultural infantilisation/desexualisation of queer people (I only learnt later how many people read Luke as queer)).

Anyway, what I'm kind of getting at is the ways in which Luke is an unusual protagonist, and socially, my experience was of people not treating him as an MC because he was 'boring'. But even as a kid I knew that wasn't true and was fascinated by his repeated *decisions* to be good, to believe in the good and again, not to be embittered by what he goes through. Also the loyalty and earnestness came to be favourite aspects.

8. Catherine Earnshaw (Wuthering Heights)

Aaaaah. Uhhh. Make this one fit your theory, bitch! Well, starting simple, WH is once more an ensemble piece about the significant influence a group of people have on each other. Catherine and Heathcliff are mutually significant to each other's journey and arc and emotional development (reverse of the Jyn and Cassian pulling each other out of the mire thing though! Dragging each other down because they can't escape their social circumstances). Cathy doesn't exactly choose to be good, but her choices are motivated by a (misguided, patronising, cowardly) intention to do what she can with her situation (gender) to get ahead in the world and bring Heathcliff with her - because she can't imagine willingly 'lowering' herself to his level, he must rise. Ahh...*chews stalk of grass and surveys crop of awful faves* gives me feelings about Jerott and Marthe's marriage again. Anyway, blah blah, you get the picture - doomed to unhappiness but tries so hard to exert control over her life/others/the narrative anyway.

Also I love a mad lass who dreams of the moors. <3 #teamCathyneverdidanythingwrongever

9. Lucy Snowe (Villette)

Hahahahaha. Speaking of mad lasses! Lucy doesn't believe she's the protagonist. She's plain and weird and not meant to be The One Who Is Loved by the kind, handsome man or the mean, beautiful woman. She believes she's doomed to an unhappy ending - so much so that she even appears to summon one for herself, snatching it from the jaws of happily-ever-after. She's never upset about her position (except when she's so consumed with shame/angst/etc because she realises she let herself believe the handsome man might care for her momentarily), she's an outsider with a wry, cynical view of the people around her, but she does still crave involvement and recognition. Not at all self-aware and 1000x more entertaining for it. Also goes on a furious opium-fuelled rampage through the town, what's not to love?

10. Gudrun Brangwen (Women in Love)

Another mad lass :) Gudrun is a modern lady who thinks she's in control of her life and her sexuality. She realises way too late that she's in fact caught up in Gerald's own experimental, philosophical approach to the modern world (I wanna say like... basically a giant wager between him and Rupert) and she's still subordinate to him and his wants. It's been a long time since I read it, but her angst about the physical side of their relationship always stays with me - when she feels like a glass of wine he's draining for his own strength and she lies awake feeling unsettled and doubtful, while he sleeps it off with a masculine kind of arrogance (sorry, it's a DH Lawrence book, I'm allowed to describe it like that) after they have sex. Also when she punches that cow it's amazing. (I mean the animal, not being rude about another woman. Haha oh Lawrence you funny little man).

--

By and large then, it's secondary characters (my thesis was on minor characters why is this a surprise!) who exist to support the protagonist, or some other character, and whose relationships with the the protagonist/that other character make me feral, because they play a role that is meant to be kind of thankless but without them the protagonist couldn't achieve what they need to achieve/the story couldn't progress as it does. God it literally IS my thesis fml.

[nua-fashion-blog]

Reflective summary:

For my reflective summary I'll be talking about the 3 projects I have done.

The first thing I had to do was a 1000 word trend report to do and to help predict the future of a trend of our choice. I chose relaxed tailoring in menswear. The second thing I had to do was a photoshoot involving trying to convey a message or something similar to the audience. I chose to do religious iconography. Their wasn't really a certain message I wanted to get across. I did what I wanted and I'm going to let people interpret the photos how they want. For my blogs I talked about a VC lecture I witnessed (BORA), an industry guest lecture I attended (Beth), an exhibition I looked at online (KCI's digital archive) and talked about a historical aspect of fashion specifically to do with Star Wars. I chose the original Stormtrooper armour designed for A New Hope.

When writing the trend report I was excited to write up about a fashion trend of my choice. It was nice to look into various fashion styles particularly in menswear since menswear doesn't tend to get talked about often. There was quite a bit of analysing to do and research and it did get overwhelming at times but I powered through and got something together. The more data I gathered the more confident I felt in my ability to write up a mediocre trend report on relaxed tailoring in menswear fashion.

When I did the photoshoot I was nervous when planning it because I am horrible when it comes to planning things. I tend to go off script because I feel like I'm being restricted. I tried by best regardless. I was nervous taking photos in public since people stared at me and I got very self conscious. I doubted my ability as a photographer despite only just starting out. When I did finally complete the photoshoot including the editing, I felt ok with how they turned out. They were mediocre at best but I felt relieved that it was finally over.

When writing up my blogs, I had a blast doing them. Writing essays has always been something I enjoyed and since I could pick to do almost whatever I want to talk about, I felt content and I am really happy with how my stuff turned out. It was probably my favourite part of this project.

The trend report I think did alright in analysing relaxed tailoring and predicting the future of the trend for spring/summer in 2025. I covered the necessary bases to draw a conclusion about the future for relaxed tailoring in menswear fashion for 2025. I could've involved more images since I only added in some photos to support what I was saying rather than putting in a lot more images to help convey my trend report better.

For the photoshoot I did receive positive feedback for the final pieces however I did face challenges such as lighting since I took photos in a church where they didn't allow flash photography and the lighting was very dim. For future projects like photoshoots, I will bring my own artificial light to help brighten up the scene.

The blogs I think I did good on. They are informative and I made some of the blogs sound more conversational to help with engagement since a lot of Gen Z and Gen Alpha tend to have shorter attention spans nowadays. I struggled to maintain a coherent voice and tone across my blogs which is something I will have to work on in the future.

Overall, these projects have been a an eye opening experience. It forced me to step outside of my comfort zone. The trend report helped me work on my analytical skills as well as research and citing the right sources, the photoshoot helped me figure out my weaknesses in creating such media and forced me to think outside of the box on how to achieve what I wanted. The blogs helped me improve my communication and pointed out flaws in the way I present things. It also forced me to experience new things and made me feel more in tune with the world around me.

These projects have made me understand myself better as well as the fashion industry as a whole and helped rekindle my passion for creativity and writing. I have learnt many important skills and these will be improved on in the near future.