#and just. life in general and things going on in my own life and also inception and also the fob smileysad face

[scrumpledorph]

Want to add a little here as an example from my personal life. I'm fairly confident, if not officially diagnosed (within an antipsych context, I would certainly hope that's not considered an undermining of my argument) that I have a delayed sleep schedule. When left to my own devices, I tend to gravitate towards a very late sleep schedule (five a.m. to one p.m.).

However, because society is de facto structured around being awake in the morning for things such as doctor's appointments, school, and most obviously employment - I can't stay on that schedule without seriously inhibiting my ability to do things that I need to do to survive. I'm in a class right now that starts at eight thirty every morning, and it's an hour away - so I'm in bed by ten pm the night before to be awake at six.

I get by presently with the side effects of an anti-anxiety medication I take that also makes me deliriously groggy, but even with that unnatural assistance to my sleep - if I get eight to nine hours of sleep at a time my body is fighting me not to sleep during, I will be plagued with restless, fitful bouts of sleep that are peppered with nightmares about sleeping through my alarm, and be struck with a general lethargy for the duration of the day. (I do not take any stimulants to mitigate these effects)

This isn't a disorder because there's some incurable problem I have. I know the cure, and it's letting my sleep schedule orient itself closer to going to bed at five a.m. and waking up around one p.m. Society just refuses to accommodate that solution.

I can't find jobs that are primarily in the afternoon to evening where I live. There are blue collar jobs with fixed schedules that start anywhere between seven and nine a.m and often end around five, part time retail and customer service work that jerks you around anywhere within a twelve hour window, or jobs I'm not qualified for.

Even if I could, the knock on effect of working those hours would be to obliterate my ability to socialize with my friends, whose schedules loosely coalesce between noon and midnight. So, I'm left with imperfect solutions, none of which satisfy me. Presently, the solution is 'be unemployed', which comes with the knock on effect of leaving me alienated from my community and entirely dependent on my parents, who I'm lucky are financially stable at present.

This is not a problem because there's something 'wrong' with me. I'm capable of getting restful sleep, either by taking more of it or by taking it at odd hours. It merely doesn't fit into the expected routine of segmenting the day into three chunks of eight hours. The way society is structured, and its unwillingness to make room for people for whom that structure doesn't work, makes it a problem.

That's the heart of the argument. I know I haven't stated anything that wasn't stated in the original post, but hopefully grounding it with a walkthrough of how it manifests in real life will provide clarity to some.

what do u think ab the whole ‘mental illness wouldn’t exist under a different political economic arrangement’ line of thought

this is a really common point of misunderstanding with regards to both anti-psych critiques and the 'social model of disability'. although there are some specific forms of affective distress that would probably be drastically reduced or eliminated in a communist society (for example, stress and alienation that people experience as a direct result of poverty), anti-capitalist critiques of psychiatry are not promising to eliminate all mental / emotional suffering through political action.

rather, if you hear someone say that 'mental illness' per se wouldn't exist in a communist society, they're usually making the following argument: all humans experience distress, including mental distress, and have limitations, including mental and emotional ones. what makes these things disabling, or an 'illness', is living in a social context in which we are denied support or accommodations for them, and are expected to function in specific ways and conform to specific social expectations, particularly standards of capitalist productivity. in a non-capitalist society where people are valued intrinsically rather than on the basis of economic productivity, we should provide for one another and accommodate each other's unique needs and experiences.

therefore, things we currently identify as 'symptoms' of 'mental illnesses' (eg, anxiety, hearing voices, self-injury, &c) would still exist as part of the spectrum of human experience, but would not prevent us from having our material and social needs met. rather than (as we do now) assuming a very specific set of experiences and abilities as a 'baseline', with a wide range of other behaviours designated as pathological aberrations, we would expect human mental experiences to be varied, including sometimes in ways that are potentially distressing or that limit certain abilities and functionality. so, this line of critique isn't saying that the experiences we currently identify as 'mental illnesses' would all vanish outside of a capitalist context, but that we would treat them as value-neutral variants in the incredibly wide spectrum of human experience, and would create a society that is not hostile to them, or to providing for people's many and varied needs.

[vaspider]

Spider, can I ask you and your followers for some input in a situation? I want some unbiased opinions, especially from parents of adult kids (bonus if your adult kids are disabled). I've tried to be as unbiased as possible and include both sides. I am aware that you're under no obligation to actually answer, but I'm hoping that if you're not able to provide any input, then one of your followers might be able to.

TLDR at the end.

The context:

Basically, I am an adult in my late 20s. I haven't lived with my parents since they threw me out at 19 for being diagnosed with autism and they were told that I wasn't capable of living independently without years of occupational therapy. I was homeless for 13 months. Like literally two days later, they dropped me off at work, confiscated my house keys, and said to find somewhere else to sleep because I wasn't coming back home. (My parents insist that I wasn't actually homeless because I already had my current job and was able to afford to stay at a youth homeless shelter. I say "what the fuck do you think Homeless Shelter means??") After that, I was able to get a government grant for chronically homeless youth that allowed me to get a room in a student housing complex. It's not dorms, but it works like a dorm. I do have a private room.

My bedroom of my apartment is a mess. My bedroom has always been a mess. I have AuDHD and multiple disabilities, including extreme fatigue so that's not unexpected. During lockdown, it was especially bad. I had to move out of my last apartment in 2021 because one of my roommates was a bigot and my building wanted a new tenet so they could charge more rent, so between the two of them, they forced me out for being a "safety concern" due to the mess (the roommate did things like lie and say I didn't bathe, even though I was literally still wet from the shower). My parents ended up helping me pack up my stuff and move to a new place. I've been here for a few years and my roommates here have always been okay with the mess because it stays confined to my room.

(Also I wrote this at like 5AM and I'm half asleep but I wasn't going to be able to go back to bed until I ask someone unbiased. So please excuse any typos, and I hope everything makes sense and nothing came out as gibberish because sometimes by brain refuses to Word Good.)

The problem:

My mother decided when I moved in that my dad was going to be inspecting my bedroom in order to make sure it's clean. He's been putting her off but she's been on his ass about it for three years so he's finally caved and said that next time he's here to bring me something (I cannot drive due to disabilities), that he would be inspecting my room.

I do not want my room inspected. I've been very clear about that since day one. Yes, my room is a mess, but I'm also a grownass adult. My parents say that since they've given me some money for my rent over the past few years that they're entitled to inspect my room. I say that it's a violation of my autonomy. My room is my safe space. My mother is an obsessively clean person so growing up, my room wasn't really mine, and everything had to be to her standards whether I liked it or not (including things like what color I paint my furniture that I owned).

My parents do not care about my boundaries, and would say that since I've proven incapable in the past (re: because I'm disabled, not that they'd ever admit it), that they're trying to protect me by keeping me from being kicked out again.

I am skeptical about this and believe it's more about controlling me (see: throwing me out for having autism and just generally being extremely controlling my entire life). My parents have refused to stop giving me money for my rent every now and then (I have a job and pay at least the majority of my rent, but there are some months where business is slow and I don't get many hours, and no one wants to hire me because I act Autistic and use a cane) and I end up short. I have resolved to do everything I can to not need their help, including having my sister pick up my prescriptions, in order to avoid my parents coming over and inspecting my room.

Also, my building already does quarterly inspections and they've always been okay with my room, but I know my room won't be to my parents' standards. I don't have any local friends that I could ask for help cleaning up, but like, I'm a Spoonie. I clean my toilet and then have to go lay down because I'm getting dizzy. I am not making much progress myself.

The question:

Are my parents right? Have I shown that I cannot be trusted to keep my room clean, thus entitling them to come inspect it to make sure it's not a mess. They will definitely yell at me and have threatened to withdraw what support they do give me if my room is a mess or I refuse to let them inspect it? Or am I right to put my foot down and enforce my boundaries?

Side note, my parents have a history of being abusive and controlling. That's something I had to prove to the government to get my grant. They would insist that it's not abuse. Some of it was quite bad but I'm not going to get into it here.

TLDR:

I'm an adult with disabilities who has my own apartment. My parents think they're entitled to come inspect my room to make sure it's clean. I say that it's my apartment and I say no. They have threatened to withdraw what support they do give me if I refuse. Are my parents being unreasonable, or am I the one being unreasonable for refusing?

Your parents have no right to inspect your room. You are an adult. This is your apartment, not theirs. Your mother is wrong. Your parents are being invasive. I think they think they're being reasonable bc they care about your well being, but they aren't respecting your autonomy.

Sometimes, being a parent means you gotta let your kids not do things the way you would or even not do things the way that is best for them. It's hard, but it's necessary.

If you still lived with your parents and your lack of cleanliness was affecting their lives, it might be different ... but this is just your parents being fucking weird.

[hotvintagepoll]

Dwight Frye (Dracula, Frankenstein)—he's my babygirl please please please please please i want to baby bird feed him flies and spiders and pick him up and make glitter edits of him and give him gross forehead kisses like he's my cat. in dracula he was so incredibly creepy that he was typecast as madmen for the rest of his life and he fucking hated it but by god if he didn't do a fantastic job. he steals the show every time he's up on screen just because he's so fucking deranged. i need him

Harpo Marx (Night at the Opera, Night in Casablanca, Duck Soup)—While Groucho is better-known, Harpo's physical comedy is SECOND-TO-NONE. The man is a strange mime trapped in the paradigm of early 20th century movies. Every move is a symphony and simultaneously a colony of rats in a human skin suit. LISTEN. You MUST see this man in motion. Every still photo of him looks like a combination of a sad clown and a different, sadder clown, but it's only because he put so much joy in every motion.

This is round 4 of the contest. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. If you’re confused on what a scrungle is, or any of the rules of the contest, click here.

[additional submitted propaganda + scrungly videos under the cut]

Dwight:

He absolutely owns the entirety of Dracula (1931). Compared to the novel, his part is massively expanded and it's clear why. He's magnetically unhinged and his facial expressions are pure scrungle. And in Frankenstein, he begins the archetype of Frankenstein's assistant even if the character's name there is Fritz. He'd still go on to play other scrungly guys in later Frankenstein movies. But he's kinda the archetypal and progenitor of the scrungly lil guy. The scrungliest guy ever to scrungle. He's pretty much the blueprint for every mad scientist's assistant, and he's the best part of every movie he's in. He manages to make you feel sorry for the creepy little dudes, even when he's eating spiders and crawling across the floor. [editor's note: content warning for the "hunchback" stereotype and "madness" in the clips below]the "Rats" soliloquy:

I saw him in Dracula and frankly he has me bewitched. I could watch him do his silly routine forever. The gay tension with Bela Lugosi onscreen was frankly unparalleled. Kirk and Spock levels. I am chewing on the furniture

Played the weirdo little guy in Dracula AND the weirdo little guy in Frankenstein in the same year. Iconic.

The scrungles to end all scrungles! There's a reason why this man codified the manic vampire's familiar and the hunchbacked lab assistant for generations, because by God can this man be feral and scrungly: Whether he's soliloquizing about rats as Renfield, scurrying around Frankenstein's lab like a spider as Fritz, or skulking around dark alleys (and scaring the hell out of little baby me) waiting for a fresh heart to steal as Karl, if you want a scrungly little man for your classic film, Dwight Frye is your man. He has the range to play varying kinds of scrungle, with his wide eyes, his manic smiles, his soft, breathy voice, he is truly an undisputed scrungle master.

I honestly think it would be a crime to ignore Dwight Frye's scrungle factor. He played two of the prototypical creepy little henchman as Dracula's lackey Renfield and Dr. Frankenstein's hunchback servant Fritz, and I believe that his excellence in these roles absolutely shaped the future character tropes of the "Igor" type as much as Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff shaped the future understanding of Dracula and Frankenstein's monster. He's got it all from the looks, to the manic energy, to the crazed laugh, I'm telling you right now that I think he could win the entire tournament.

Harpo Marx:

He's like if a clown was a hobo was also somehow a classically trained harpist, his face is always in some kind of contorted silly shape, feral curly haired ninnymuggins always doing weird things to people

Harpo is mute in all of the Marx Bros movies and so his body language and facial expressions are SO over the top but he's also got fewer braincells than a goldfish while often being the emotional heart of the Marx Bros and he's just A Guy!!

Every scene with Harpo Marx is a treat! Just like watching a seagull steal a stranger's hotdog at the beach, it is a joy to watch him frustrate the hell out of all the other films' characters! Harpo Marx is the zenith of unhinged in all of his appearances, making any other funny man a straight man by comparison. (A fantastic feat considering he starred in films with his brothers Grouch and Harpo, who sported a shoe polish mustache and questionable Italian accent, respectively). The scrungliness of the little guys he plays come from his guileless, wide-eyed expression, curly blond wig, and the extreme ability to annoy others, despite never saying a word. Is he malicious? Most definitely, but hard to tell because he has a dopey grin on his face most of the time. Communicating through other sounds like honking horns and whistling, he is a force of chaos in every Marx brothers film! Also an accomplished harp player, the beautiful calm moments where Harpo plays juxtapose the zany, making him all the more scrungly. His visual style of comedy is timeless; Duck Soup had me rolling with laughter as a six year old and is still just as funny today.

In my opinion Harpo is the funniest of the Marx brothers because he is so good at slapstick comedy. Since he never speaks in his film appearances his performances are very physical, which contributes a lot to his scrungliness. He was fully committed to being wacky at all times. All of his hilarity is based on him being weird.

He's just a weird little guy who causes chaos everywhere he goes, and then sits down and plays a beautiful harp solo! He steals the show from his very chatty brothers without saying a word, and was surprisingly ripped under that old raincoat

All of the Marx Brothers are Scrungly to a degree, but Harpo is the scrungliest! His outfits are so big he gets lost in them, his pockets are full of everything, and because he never speaks, he always uses physical comedy. Also he's an incredible musician.

[oh-no-its-bird]

You are making me EMOTIONAL thinking about baby kakashi losing his teeth and not having his dad around to ask about things now, not even specifically for fang reasons either 😭😭

I think I was late and lost my first took when I was almost seven and idk exactly when Sakumo died officially but. Idk. Something something the tragedy of potentially not even having a parent around to explain what is going on when you lose a tooth for the first time

I'm so glad u sent this actually bc I was thinking ab wanting to write a post ab this premise but wasn't sure how to phrase or start it

Kid Kakashi struggling through starting to lose his baby teeth after his father dies <33

Google tells me that children start losing their baby teeth around 6, and the general age I've seen for Kakashi when Sakumo kills himself is usually around that same number, so, it works out!!

You bring up such a good and fun point actually in just. Does Kakashi know what's happening to him? Has anyone explained to him that your teeth just naturally fall out when you're little?

One day, Kakashi goes to class and sees Obito, who's a few years older than him, bragging about how he "just lost my tooth the other day"

And Kakashi quietly goes to himself, "wow this guy is so bad at fighting, he got his tooth knocked out and he's happy about it. What a weirdo."

Obito is IGNORING the judgmental stares coming from Kakashi's direction, assuming Kakashi is just jealous of his super cool milestone of growing up

Thinking maybe Obito even comes over to try to brag about it, but Kakashi just goes "??? Why are you bragging about losing your teeth ??? God, you're such a freak"

And Obito is like, "I know ur just jealous BAKASHI. Because you are still a BABY while I am on my way to being a MAN"

And inside Kakashi, still deeply confused and weirded out, is like, 'why the fuck would I be jealous' but outloud he just glares and goes, "I've never lost any of my teeth because I never lose."

To which Obito loses his mind because he's like 9 and to a 9 year old that sounded kind of sick and how DARE Kakashi try and be cool about this

(In the background, Minato is well on his way to losing his mind trying not to laugh. Rin meanwhile is squinting and doing mental math as she tries to tell if Kakashi is joking or not)

But anyways like. Kakashi later losing his own teeth and freaking the fuck out about it. Is he sick? Is he dying? Should he go to the doctor?

Oh my god wait ok but Kakashi cornering Rin after a training session and demands she help diagnose him bc he doesn't want to go to the actual doctor or ask Sensei for help. And Kakashi admitting she's a "good med nin" and Rin is kinda going omg Kakashi conpliment,,,, life goals,,

But also like Kakashi thinks he's dying and she's SUPER flattered he thinks she can help but she's like. 10. And a med nin in training.

So she's kind of sweating like "omg what are ur symptoms, why do u think ur dying?"

And Kakashi is like my "fucking teeth are falling out !!!!!!"

And Rin is like "woah that sounds super scary and seriou— Hold on a second."

Kakashi goes as far as to take off his mask to show her, which goes to show how desperate he is rn because he'd usually never do that.

And Rin is torn between being tempted to pinch his cheek and pull at it like it's Mochi and also like. She's struggling SO hard not to laugh at this point because she knows if she does Kakashi will literally never forgive her

So Rin has to break it to Kakashi as gently as she can (and without laughing or cooing at his cute kid naivety) that don't worry, you aren't dying, this is normal

Kakashi doesn't believe her at first. But when he does he's suddenly overwhelmed by embarrassment. He will never recover. Hes so fucking glad he didn't actually go to the doctor or to sensei because at least Rin he can swear to secrecy FOREVER

Kakashi has to deal with his suddenly too big for his mouth adult fangs and keeps going to Rin to help heal the cuts they keep leaving on his lips ,,,,

Somehow Obito catches wind of this, and hears "Rin + helping with Kakashi's lips (???)" And thinks they're kissing and loses his goddamn mind in spectacular fashion.

Toddler drama....

Idk where Im really going with this, it ended up taking a life of its own

Uhhh anyways. Moving this conversation entirely:

You can copy pasted this exact concept onto Naruto for a really funny (and kind of awful) au where Naruto loses his first tooth and becomes convinced he's dying

He does actually try to go to the hospital but they try to turn him away, but when he blurts out that he's scared he's dying a particularly mean spirited doctor pretends to examine him then goes "oh no. You really are dying and have a week to live. Boohoo."

Naruto loses his fucking mind and makes a "things I want to do before I die" bucket list and then spends the next week desperatley trying to complete it bc hes convinced he's gonna die on the final day

This list includes but is not limited to:

- become Hokage

- start a family

- eat every single different kind of ramen on Ichiraku's menu

Idk how to make the first and third especially funny but like.

"Starting a family" ending up somehow leading to Naruto very aggressively trying to get literally anyone to hold his hand in a similar fashion to "Uchiha Sasuke's 10 step plan to get revenge" where Sasuke tries to get Shikamaru to marry him in his quest to "live a good life" to get revenge on Itachi, while Naruto hears Sasuke is looking for a husband and very loudly tries to get him to pick him instead

Which is actually a really fucking funny one on its own and now I'm just thinking about that instead, so I'll leave this post here

I got a little distracted, but. Thank you for ur ask !!!

[chleem]

not sure if you take requests! I just looove angst

could you write where reader really gets scared because of Drew? Maybe violence or drinking or he has a moment where his temper gets the better of him and he scares her. thinking about him comforting his teary girl 🥰

Also I adore your writing — just read all of your series & one shots and fell in love!

⋆.˚ Warnings: swearing, jealous bf!drew, assault, physical (w/stranger) + verbal fight (with reader), read at own caution

ִ ࣪𖤐 a/n: and yes, I do accept requests but its not promised i write it tho T_T also, thanks for checking out my other works! (ure my first request btw thx sm

hope this one lives up to your expectations, written just for u my babe <3 

word count: 2.5k

──── 𝜗𝜚 ─────

You and Drew had been out for a casual night, just the two of you, trying to get away from the stresses of everyday life. 

The dim lights, the clinking of glasses, the smell of whiskey and perfume—it was the perfect backdrop for a little escape. 

You weren’t the type to go out clubbing, preferring to stay home. But seeing the gloomy state Drew has been in all day, this might just be the thing he needs. 

The bar was busy, but you managed to secure a spot, both ordering your own drinks. 

He’d been drinking fast, between casual conversations, you could slowly see the consciousness slipping away, replaced with his lazy, a bit drunk self. 

“I gotta go to the bathroom real quick, alright?” 

Drew almost yells into your ear, his voice barely audible over the thumping music in the bar.

You nod, yet was a bit worried whether he could even see in front of him. Drew’s hand lingers on your waist to give it a quick, almost stiff pat before he pulls away.

The warmth of him disappears as he blends into the crowd of sweaty, wasted bodies, leaving you standing there alone, suddenly acutely aware of how unfamiliar the space feels without him beside you. 

The music pulses in your chest, but it’s no longer comforting—it feels loud, invasive, almost too much.

You’re reminded of why you hate clubs- or going out in general, because of the overwhelming energy it takes out of you. 

You shift on your feet, suddenly nervous in a way you weren’t before. Without him here, everything feels just a little too close. 

And then, a hand brushes around your waist.

He’s back.

But when you turn around, your smile falters.

It’s not him.

A stranger, grinning a little too widely, leans in close, his hand still secured around your waist. 

You step back instinctively, trying to create space between you and this guy. 

“Little lady, how ‘bout I buy you a drink?” He coos, signaling the bartender over. He’s got a nasty grin on his face, one that sends goosebumps all over you. 

“No- no thanks,” you immediately decline, glancing behind you for any signs of Drew. 

What’s taking him so long?

“Oh c’mon, Daddy’s treat,” his voice drips low, and he steps close to you again.

And when his hand grips your ass through your dress, you immediately let out scream, but it's’ drowned out by the busy bar. 

“Okay- um, I have a boyfriend,” you say, your voice trembling slightly, but you manage to shove his hand off your waist. It’s sharp, harsh, and you feel your pulse racing, your body tense with a mix of disgust and fear.

But he’s persistent. The smirk on his face widens even more, and you see the way his eyes flicker with annoyance at your rejection.

“What? So? That doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun,” he grins, his breath hitting your face, smelling of rotten eggs, “I’m just trying to show you a good time, sweetheart.”

Your skin crawls.

Panic spikes in your chest. Where the hell is Drew?

But just as the stranger’s hand moves to touch you again, someone else beats him to it.

An arm drapes over your shoulders, pulling you back with a firm grip, until your back hits the solid wall of Drew’s chest. The familiar warmth of him floods through you, that unmistakable scent of his cologne, mixed with the hint of whiskey.

For a second, you’re wrapped in his presence, the rush of his body against yours almost as much of a relief as it is a comfort.

It’s the feeling of being protected—that primal, safe feeling you always get when Drew’s near, and yet, there’s something else, too. Something more possessive in the way he’s holding you now.

“Made a new friend already?”

He chuckles lowly, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. 

The stranger hesitates for a moment, clearly thrown off by Drew’s sudden appearance, but his cocky grin doesn’t fade. Instead, he sizes Drew up, eyes darting to all aspects of him. 

Drew doesn’t flinch, but you can feel a shift in the air. His easy-going tone doesn’t match his body language. 

And the protective hold he has on you right now feels like a silent warning to the stranger.

You steal a glance over at Drew, and the look in his eyes sends a chill down your spine. There’s something colder in them now, but it’s not directed at you—it’s all focused on the guy standing in front of you. 

“You the boyfriend?” he asks, voice dripping with mockery.

Drew clenches his jaw, his lips twitching into a smile. “…and you…?”

“-gonna pound on your girl’s pussy in ways you can’t.”

The sudden comment causes your chest to tighten.

The room feels like it’s slowing down. You freeze, and for the first time, you can’t even hear the music—only the rush of your own heartbeat in your ears. 

The arm around your shoulders tightens.

For a long beat, Drew stays silent, his face a mask of cold anger. His jaw is clenched, the veins in his neck throbbing as he locks eyes with the stranger.

“What, what did just you say?” His voice is low—dangerously low—and it doesn’t sound like the Drew you know.

“I said,” the stranger sneers, “gonna pound on that pussy-“

Then, in the blink of an eye, everything shifts.

Drew steps forward, closing the space between him and the guy in one swift motion.

The arm around your shoulders drops as Drew pulls away from you, shoving the stranger. The force of the push sends the guy stumbling backward, his feet losing their balance for a split second, but he catches himself on the edge of the bar.

You watch in stunned silence, your breath caught in your throat.

You’ve never seen Drew like this, starting a fight- or in anything violent. The way his body shifts, tense and predatory, it’s as if a switch flipped inside him, and you’re suddenly faced with a side of him that feels… unfamiliar.

The stranger mumbles something under his breath, his face twisted in surprise, and he pushes back, hands flying out in a flurry of anger.

Drew stumbles, but not as hard as the stranger did. 

You raise a shaky hand toward him, fingers trembling. Your stomach twists in panic, but you have to do something—anything—to stop this from escalating further.

You try to call out, but your voice feels small against the sudden weight of the room. “Drew? Drew, stop-“

The words barely leave your mouth before the eyes of everyone in the bar land on the two of you. You feel the heat of their stares, the whispers circulating, but right now, you can’t focus on anyone else but him.

Drew however, focuses on the stranger in front of him. 

And before you could react, before anyone could react, his fist flies out, connecting with the stranger’s face with a loud thud. The man falls back, eyes wide with shock, a trickle of blood running from his lip.

The bar area of the club avert their attention to the fight that’s currently breaking out, their own conversations long forgotten. 

The stranger, dazed for a moment, recovers quickly and tries to throw a punch in return, but Drew is already steps ahead. He dodges effortlessly, before punching him again. And again. And again. 

You watch, wide-eyed, as Drew’s movements are smooth and precise. 

There’s no hesitation, no question of whether he’ll fight back. It’s like the anger just poured out of him in an instant, and you have no idea how to stop it.

You want to shout, to stop him, but your voice is stuck in your chest. You don’t recognize him like this. Drew’s usually calm, collected... but here, right now, he looks completely different.

Two security guards burst through the bar door, rushing toward the scene. One of them grabs Drew’s arm, pulling him away from the stranger. The other pushes the dazed man toward the door, guiding him out of the bar.

You stand there, still trembling, as Drew is escorted toward the exit. 

Your feet move before your mind can catch up. You need to make sure he’s okay.

You push through the crowd, eyes fixed on Drew’s back as he’s led toward the door.

Then you hear it—Drew’s voice, loud and sharp, cutting through the buzz of the bar, ”yeah- yeah, get the hell away!" 

He’s shouting at the stranger, still seething even as security ushers him out.

You can hear the anger in his voice, raw and unsettling, and it sends a fresh jolt of fear through you. You’ve never heard him like this before. Not even close.

You’re outside now, the cool air hitting your skin like a slap to your face, but it doesn't calm the nerves tightening in your chest.

The stranger must’ve run off by now—he's nowhere to be seen.

Drew’s standing a few feet away from you, his hands running through his hair, tugging at the strands in frustration. His back is to you, but you can see his shoulders rising and falling with each breath.

You hesitate, watching him for a moment, unsure of how to approach him after everything.

“Drew?” you call out softly, your voice catching a little as you step closer.

He doesn’t turn around immediately. There’s a beat of silence, just the sound of traffic in the distance and your uneven breathing. 

Then, finally, he lets out a heavy sigh and faces you, his expression blank.

But when his blue eyes land on your body, the way you’ve got your arms wrapped around yourself, slightly trembling, everything inside of him shifts.

His gaze softens almost immediately. 

You look so small, so fragile standing there, and it hits him harder than anything else. The sight of you like this, visibly shaken and scared, makes his chest tighten painfully.

“Hey—” His voice drops soft, a faint crack in it, as he takes a step toward you. “hey- babe, babe, look at me.”

His hand rises toward you, to cup your face, but he freezes for a second.

There’s droplets of blood on his knuckles. The realization hits you, and your breath catches in your throat.

Despite the fight he started, you worry, worry about him. 

“Drew… you’re hurt,” you whisper, your voice barely audible over the pounding of your own heartbeat. You look at him, your eyes flicking to the blood on his hand. 

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” he insists, but the blood on his hand tells a different story.

“No, Drew,” you say, your voice sharper now, a little more firm, the concern for him creeping through your fear. “You shouldn’t have punched him. You could’ve gotten hurt-“

Drew’s brows furrow at your words. His eyes flash, and his jaw clenched as he steps closer. 

“What?” His voice rises slightly, the anger from earlier seeping back in.

Your heart races at the shift in his tone, and for a moment, you feel the same fear from earlier, but this time it’s mixed with confusion.

“He- he said those things, did you not-“

“I know, I know, but—”

“-hear what he said? It’s fucking-“

“-but you don’t have to go that far, Drew. You could’ve just told him to back off—”

“And he would’ve listened?” Drew interrupts, his voice tense, his gaze hardening again.

“I—” You try again, your voice trembling. 

You blink rapidly, trying to keep your tears from spilling, but it's hard to hide it. 

You don’t even know why you’ve got tears in your eyes.

“Fuck- you don’t- are you that fucking naive-“

Drew’s voice raises sharply, frustration and anger spilling over. 

When he raises his hand in a quick motion, your whole body tenses, and you instinctively flinch, pulling back just an inch.

But he was only going to run his hands through his hair, frustratingly pushing them back.

For a moment, you think he might—might—actually hurt you.

The guilt, the regret, floods his face, and his whole posture changes.

“Shit,” he mumbles under his breath. 

You don’t want to cry, don’t want to show him just how scared you are, but you can’t stop the way your body reacts.

Drew takes a hesitant step toward you, but his movements are careful, almost tentative, like he’s afraid you’ll pull away again.

“I’m sorry,”

when you hear the tenderness in it, the weight of everything hits you all at once.

You can’t stop the tears now. They flow freely down your face, your shoulders shaking, and you curse yourself for it, but it’s like all that fear, all the anxiety, is finally finding its way out.

Drew’s eyes widen when he sees your tears, his face falling. It’s like a punch to his gut.

Without thinking, he pulls you into his arms, enveloping you in his warmth.

For a second, you don’t know what to do. You don’t know how to react. 

The world outside feels so distant now, and all you can focus on is the steady rise and fall of Drew’s chest as he holds you. His heartbeat is like a slow, calming rhythm against your ear, grounding you in the chaos of everything that just happened.

Your tears keep coming, his hand gentle as it strokes your hair, a slow, soothing motion. 

“I’m sorry,” 

he whispers again, and this time, the words sound even smaller, quieter, as if they’re the only thing keeping him from falling apart too.

You inhale sharply, breathing in the familiar cologne with the alcohol, and strangely, it comforts you.

Even after everything that’s happened, Drew still smells like Drew—that safe, warm scent that’s so familiar, so tied to him in every way.

You pull away slightly, letting your hands rest on his chest. You look up at him, you see it the beautiful blue eyes of his, full of regret.

“I’m sorry,” 

The third time he apologizes, each word heavier than the last, and you can see how much it’s hurting him.

His hand comes up, and you feel the warmth of his touch before you even see it. His fingers gently cup your cheek, and despite the blood on his knuckles, you lean into his touch, finding comfort there. 

“I’m sorry too,” you softly say, which Drew immediately shakes his head at, the faintest smile tugging on his lips. 

“No- no, I’m sorry, I- I overreacted.”

Drew’s eyes soften even more, if that’s possible. “You’re right- should’ve just told him to fuck off.”

You don’t know why- but the sudden swearing gets you, and you let out a breathless chuckle.

Seeing you smile, Drew’s lips curl into a small, relieved grin. Without saying a word, he pulls you close, resting his chin gently on your forehead.

And for a moment, everything feels just a little more okay.

-------------------------------

p.s this low-key feel more like rafe cameron

other

[wajjs]

I’m a bit curious on Hal’s personality in his depictions. From what I know is that early hal was headstrong, cocky, kind of a goofball, and detached (dissociating away his fear and averse to commitment). This seems to be the version of Hal that most people write.

But then there’s the whole Parallax thing, and the Spectre run. I don’t know much about it but it seems hal gets a lot more subdued and melancholy as the spectre. And then after that he comes back as flesh and bone.

So what is he like at the end of that?

Pre-Johns and pre-Parallax Hal tended to be more happy go lucky, stupid, and generally doe eyed hopeful "the system that fucked me over once definitely won't do it again!" type of man. He was also entitled at times. But this is mostly true up until around the time of Hard Traveling Heroes, which is when he starts to be heartbroken and melancholic, traits that persist until the climax of Emerald Twilight.

A lot of people say Emerald Twilight came from nowhere and I disagree. I think those people weren't paying attention, because all the signs were there. Hal had been steadily becoming more disillusioned and melancholic through the 70s and 80s until we get to the 90s, where that heartbreak gets amplified to the nth degree. Hal didn't go from stupid to mad with grief without a transition period in the middle. But a lot of people think once a run from x writer ends, it no longer counts for the next one, and so they say the tragedy came from nowhere.

At the very start of the 90s, Hal has a lot of suicidal ideation going on. The run itself begins with him more or less saying "There’s nowhere else to go" (paraphrasing) and throwing himself off a cliff. He waits until he's almost crashing head first into the ground to pull himself out of there using his ring. He's flirting with the thought of death.

He is also self sabotaging. He pulls back from everyone and turns himself into a homeless man who lives on the road because he's looking for a sense of self, a meaning to life he has lost. He becomes a seasonal worker because he needs something to do, but those jobs never last because the life he's trying to leave behind (in the shape of Guy Gardner) keeps metaphorically knocking on the door and dragging him back to Green Lantern.

Even when he comes back, he chooses to do solitary things. For example: exploring space to recruit more GLs, that keeps interactions to a minimum. It's all things that are brewing in a pressure cooker that blows up when Coast City is destroyed in front of Hal's eyes and the hero community drops the ball. Hard.

They all say well, it’s not MY city. They all say get over it. Clark goes and creates a monument using scraps of the very bomb that killed everyone and everything Hal knew all his life, and immediately after that Clark is in Metropolis enjoying the sun and saying aaaaah. what a nice day.

And Hal doesn't snap immediately. The tension is there, but at first he does try to keep it together until it becomes impossible. He tries to reconstruct Coast City, but there are limits to what the ring can do. The one thing he could depend on, his will power, is not enough. He is not enough. His grief and anger become so big that his mind just... fractures. He snaps. No one's listening and no one's helping, so he will take matters into his own hands and make. it. right.

This Hal is angry. This Hal has a heart with a hole that threatens to kill him at any moment but he endures because he cannot die until he does what needs to be done. This Hal refuses the help that comes too late, he has killed his friends, he has destroyed the corps, he has killed Sinestro. Kyle arrives like a lighthouse in the middle of the storm but for Hal it's too late because he has driven his ship into the cliff and is letting it sink with himself still in it.

He is mad at himself and mad at the world for failing Coast City and all the innocent lives lost. He almost becomes a god, and is perceived as a god by some due to the power he now possesses. There are moments when clarity hits him and the old wounded heartbroken Hal shows his face, and he is dying. His pain is so palpable. His anguish. The old Hal wants help. But Parallax Hal does not want to be saved.

Of course, the status quo changes with the events of Final Night. Hal sacrifices himself to save the Earth. He sees that only in death will his anger stop, and he sees that he's the only one who can do what no one else could do for Coast City. It's a no brainer. He sacrifices himself and burns himself to a crisp reigniting the sun. Hal doesn’t expect to come back. He doesn’t want to come back. This is HIS final night.

Unfortunately, The Spectre had other plans. His anger morphs into straight up depression because now he is alive enough to deal with the outcome of what he did as Parallax. He has to live with the tragedy of what he lost and the tragedy of what he did. Few people stand by his side and want to give him a chance. Very few people recognize there's good in him. Most want to see him dead and gone. He himself wants to be dead and gone. Helen, his niece, being there definitely helps him not lose it, not lose himself. She is his hope. She is the innocence he lost and he will never get back.

After all of this, he is more grounded, mature. Still melancholic. Still haunted by everything that happened. He is cocky, of course, and self assured, because at the end of the day those are the things he can cling to with some sort of safety net. But they're also things he uses to keep the raw wounds hidden.

Post Johns? Yeah like more than half of this is lost because Hal’s the greatest hero ever and he can do no wrong. He is headstrong, overconfident, cocky, and ultimately good, but he is missing like half of his soul.

[alacants]

okay c'mon you can't mention "darth carlitos" in the tags and not tell us more about it

ok i have consulted my collaborator and reconstructed most of this idea. and learned an important lesson about both hubris and note-taking.

so this is part of a broader fic idea known as "into the carlitosverse", where the night after the cincy meltdown, at the peak of sincaraz divorce era™, carlos gets a glimpse of other possible universes where it could, in fact, be worse. these come to him in order of increasing badness, with darth carlitos being the sixth and final vision.

(other universes cut for space reasons but available upon request. i wrote up all THOSE notes just fine, apparently.)

the divergence point is, what if jannik is the one to tell carlos he has. Feelings… and carlos who has internalized from his coach that you don't, you can't, do that on tour shoots him down in cold blood. (juanki premise repurposed wholesale from this fic.) which just like. totally crushes jannik. since getting the nerve to put himself out there was a huge deal that entailed facing up to personal fears about like, vulnerability and and what kind of a life he wanted to live as a tennis player and what he wanted to prioritize in the now vs the future, a very difficult existential struggle he managed to work though because he was so sure carlos would say yes. AND THEN.

(it's kerrigan/lowdermilk's say the word. just realized that.)

jannik then proceeds to completely fall apart from indian wells through wimbledon. gossip thrives on tour and now carlos has a reputation as kind of a dick! like. damn he was really leading sinner on huh. obviously the story grows in the telling lmao but it's undeniable that people like jack draper and the entire italian davis cup team have alcaraz on fucking notice. (ops had a lot of fun taking this to increasingly wild lengths like. darren's super worried about jannik, which trickles back through lleyton hewitt, and now alex de minaur is giving carlos side eye?? and katie backing up jack's story which tbh no one actually believed means the gossip spreads through the brits, too, etc, etc… you can guess where this ended up…)

as a result of jannik's mental collapse carlos' 2024 dominance is even more dominant than it was irl. and the more you win, the more people are going to look for reasons not to like you.

carlos obviously thrives around people! he wants to like them and to be liked by them! so. this sucks. and he kinda knows it's his own fault, but also… is it?? it's not FAIR. so like. fine! if no one likes him any more, fine! he's here to play tennis, not make friends. ← a blatant lie.

wimbledon: jannik goes out r1. carlos is REALLY on the shit list with matteo when they meet in the wimbledon semifinal. it's so bad that after the match matteo doesn't shake carlos' hand and like, holy SHIT. now not just the players' grapevine but also the public rumor mill goes into overdrive. are they beefing because carlos had a couple time violations that weren't called during the match? is it because of the lopsided 6-1, 6-3, 6-2 scoreline? or is it because of the rumor that's been floating around that carlos alcaraz is a player?? DID HE STEAL MATTEO'S GIRLFRIEND OMG

how quickly public opinion can curdle. the crushing guilt + generalized unhappiness + unfairness of it all means that carlitos starts going a little unhinged when things go wrong during matches. as in he starts smashing racquets. with increasing frequency. there's also a lot of yelling at his box. there's juanki looking increasingly more haggard as the season goes on. possibly ferru is called in to help at this point but carlitos doesn't listen to him. team morale is shit at the olympics and davis cup. carlos loses the olympic final to novak and nearly fires juanki (there but for the grace of ferru, etc). then, after jannik heroically pulls himself together and scrapes out like, 3000+ points from just the na/asian hard court swing to make the atp finals and thrashes everyone in his group to make the semifinal - he plays carlos. and then jannik wins that match. carlos feels something almost like relief, almost like desperation. he goes to the net, goes in for a hug... and jannik pulls back and very politely shakes his hand. and carlos does his cool down, media rounds, goes back to the hotel and fires juanki on the spot.

……………………and then he wakes up!

tbh i don't know how an actual fic would end, other than the affirmation that yeah things really COULD be worse… it was originally set after cincy because at the time of this convo that felt like the nadir of divorce era (olympic hangover, court meltdown, wada reveal, etc) but this setting is flexible and can be adjusted to accommodate whichever disappointment is freshest.

WAIT ok. i have it. post-ao qf, rumors are swirling about coach break-up. carlitos is visited by visions of the multiverse. he wakes up with this horrible sinking feeling that this is a sign maybe he DOES have to think about a new coach, bc the most important thing about his relationship with juanki has always been the off-court stuff but what if he ultimately has to choose between his coach and his personal happiness. he reluctantly pulls juanki aside for a talk and is like "so… about… my feelings… about jannik…." 

and juanki is like "uGH icb you're making me say this, i don't like it but [grits teeth]. since it's important to you then i. support. you."

and carlos bounds away more convinced than ever that some things are more important than court tactics and probably hits jannik up in dms. the end.

[sunnysidesevenup]

Okay since apparently more people than me have seen those “fellow honest doesn’t know basic math” takes/jokes whatever lol, I’m gonna ramble about how I write Tilly and Fellow because they’re SO FREAKING SMART and they have very different skill sets born out of their respective lives. Obviously this is all made up headcanons for Fellow since we know basically nothing about him lmao so. do with my headcanons what you will ig.

First off I believe Fellow probably had some basic schooling and either got kicked out of the school itself, or whatever guardians he had stopped sending him because it “wasn’t worth it” or smth. I don’t think his resentment would be born out of just not going y’know? So I think he definitely learned basic math and writing/reading/science, etc from a more formal education, but all his actual practical knowledge is entirely him seeking it out on his own. He definitely went to a library and used those resources to learn anything that could help him.

Fellow does all the budgeting in the household, managing rent, electricity, food bills, etc. his sewing skills help cut down on clothing cost a little, and he has various skills from taking odd jobs. He definitely started out only doing honest work but then rapidly realized that no one was paying him very much, and none of it could cover the cost of anything, and he just probably slowly slid into less than legal means to make money. He’s VERY good at weighing risk vs reward, can talk his way out of things, and in general is just really, really clever.

Tilly on the other hand has zero formal schooling, and all his knowledge is entirely from listening to other people talk. He doesn’t ask anyone to teach him anything because that will put him in a vulnerable position, so he pretends he knows things until he figures it out. He also has no need for any type of budgeting considering he doesn’t stay anywhere and mostly just convinces people to give him things, so his math skills are much weaker and he’s happy to have Fellow do any of that. His reading is also not great, considering it’s hard to learn to read from just watching other people and he doesn’t seek any resources out. He’s also dyslexic, so the few times he was trying to learn, what people were saying was NOT matching up with what he was seeing, so he gave up. Fellow tries to teach him some stuff and Tilly straight up believes he’s messing around because what do you MEAN the letters are not supposed to float around and flip??? They eventually figure out what’s going on though.

However, his ability to read people and his memory for what people tell him is incredible. He listens VERY closely to what people are saying and then incorporates it into whatever lies he’s telling that week, which is how he’s able to convince certain high society people that he’s actually one of them sometimes. People often complain to him about their work life, so if the company is big enough, he’ll steal whatever he needs to get into the building and wait long enough for them to believe they just lost it. And then he’ll just walk in, identify people from description and context clues, and just greet them like he works there. I mean, the company is pretty big, so if this guy knows their name and work drama then surely he works there, right? (He’s stolen so many things this way lmao).

Tilly can learn the history of places, local stories, the best and worst areas of the city, who to avoid and who is helpful, maps and directions for wherever he is, just from talking to people, and he remembers it all even months later. He’s good at blending in and imitating people’s attitudes and knowledge.

They are both incredibly skilled at using people’s own egos and expectations against them. Fellow tends to use flattery and Tilly uses distraction, so teamed up together it’s hard not to end up doing what they want. They’re good at surviving separately, but things are much easier together. Tilly is often surprised by how quick Fellow can make calculations in his head, and Fellow is often surprised when Tilly can recite things he learned years ago from overheard conversations like it happened yesterday.

Both of them are still terrible at cooking, though, so congrats to Gidel for being the only person in the household who can make any thing edible.

[lilythelitten]

“Lily!” I hear you all gasp in shock. “You changed your PFP!”

Indeed I did, and here is the full art! Which I had to shrink slightly to make it look good in my profiles :P

Artist commentary below the cut:

Those of you who have read The Case of 100% Normal Feelings (which is my fic with the most hits—thank you, everybody!) will know I HC Irratino as needing glasses. That is pure headcanon, and also pure projection, on the part of me, who both has curly hair and is nearsighted in real life. I also HC he normally wears contacts, but for this art, I gave him glasses because…I could XD The ponytail was done for similar reasons. It’s kind of incredible how just giving him glasses and a ponytail makes Irratino look like a totally different person!

(By the way—if you see any mention of Irratino wearing glasses in other fanfics? That’s not the fandom sharing a single brain cell. That came from me. That is them taking inspiration from me. I’m so proud *sheds tear*)

I’m still not sure about this one, frankly. I feel like the head’s too big for the body (and that the proportions feel off in general), and the hand was an absolute pain. Partway through the sketch, I wanted to scrap the whole thing and start over ^^; But hey, it’s done, and I’m proud enough of it to make it my new profile pic, at least XD (I also said I wasn’t going to draw the ears next time so I wouldn’t have to draw stars, and then I drew him in a ponytail and forced myself to draw the star. I did that to myself. I am not ashamed to admit I used the symmetry ruler to make it look semi-decent :P)

I think if I had to say, my favorite thing about this drawing are the glasses. They came out beautiful, if I do say so myself 😌 Though drawing the folds in his shawl was also fun. As was getting to glitter up his hair tie ^^ Anyway, that’s all from me, maybe one day I’ll reach the hallowed ranks of “likes looking at her own art” XD

[genderqueerdykes]

wrt to the height thing, if you’re from elsewhere please try to extend empathy and do the mental conversion to height wherever you’re from. Like a trans man in America being 5’3 is six inches shorter than the cis man average and an inch shorter than the cis woman average. So if you’re from, say, Japan where cis man average is 5’7 and cis woman average is 5’2 then that’s equivalent to this person being 5’1. It’s the divergence from expected average not the explicit height that’s important and what you can relate to. I know Americans have a reputation for being very america-centric and just ~assuming~ that our norms are universal, but the way to fix that isn’t chastising people expressing pain at the transphobia they face for things they cannot change about themselves that diverge from what’s expected of men in their society.

these are 2 different conversations & you are totally allowed to make your own post. you can make a post about this and have that conversation yourself, because i do not live anywhere else but america and i cannot speak for you or anyone else who does not live here. it is a genuine problem here. me allowing trans men to speak up about this is not saying your experience doesn't exist or doesn't matter. please understand that this is you butting your head into a conversation where you don't belong.

if someone is talking about how height can cause dysphoria, and you don't relate: that post wasn't made for you. please go make your own. it wasn't made for you and trying to make the conversation about something else is derailing.

i totally understand that trans people in different countries have different situations w/ height but this is disturbing behavior please let USAmerican trans men & mascs talk about their dysphoria wrt to height.

genuine question: i'm a trans man living in America. why is it not okay to speak about my perspective as an American? my life doesn't suddenly stop mattering because I live somewhere I didn't choose to. How do you expect me to speak about experiences I don't understand? I don't live anywhere but America. I have never lived anywhere else but America. please stop trying to force me to have a conversation i don't understand. i cannot accurately depict what it's like to be a trans man in afghanistan if i haven't lived there.

i'm not being mean when i point this out but i'm glad to hear that height is not an issue elsewhere, but people NEED to be sympathetic about how height IS a big deal in certain parts of the world. it's not *just* USAmerica where taller people live. please be sympathetic to people in populations with mixed heights. the reason it's an issue here is because we have a lot of diversity in heights, but generally, white people are expected to be taller.

i really do understand that this is relative to culture but you need to understand that you also have to be open to how height affects people from other cultures. it's very narrow minded to bullheadedly insist that because height dysmorphia does not occur in your society which- i honestly doubt, i feel like there are still people with height related insecurities -the fact that height does impact Americans doesn't matter. the trans men talking about height dysphoria are FROM countries that things like this occur in. they are talking about THEIR experience with height and how they truly are profiled for being too short or too tall as a trans person. please stop inferring that USAmericans are talking out of line for speaking about any possible dysphoria with height.

trans women are also persecuted for their height in the USA.

please please take a second to understand how badly this affects trans men. white people expect men to be much, much taller than women. if a trans man is under 5' 6" in a lot of white cultures, they're viewed as too short to be a man. especially trans guys under 4'. trans men really do get assaulted, harmed, raped, threatened, mocked and misgendered over their height and yes, it CAN get them killed, because their height "gave away" the fact that they're a tranny.

i understand it's different elsewhere. i know. but i can't talk about what it's like elsewhere from a personal stance because i don't live there. please understand that american lives MATTER. we are not all our government. we do not all agree with our government. we are not responsible for our government. we are not wholesale rude. we are not wholesale assholes. we are not inherently bad people. we are not all right wing alt right conspiracy nuts.

please be kinder to USAmerican queers. we literally should not have to stop talking about our experiences and be quiet because Americans "Suck" or are too "America-centric' or whatever. this behavior honestly sucks. please let USAmericans talk about what it's like to live here. we're having an awful time. this is not the land of everyone's rich and is an annoying racist tourist. we are real people. please care about that. thank you for your time.

[beesmygod]

Yo Bea,

What are the best sources for reading up about fromsoft lore? I know we’ve got your meticulously batshit blood borne book (thank you very much by the way) but what about the other fromsoft entries?

Also what’s your general opinion on the Japanese vs English translation with Fromsoft entires? How much nuance is lost/how many misunderstandings arise from the way things have been changed over? I distinctly remember people thinking that with Elden Ring the English ending monologue for Ranni made her goals sound way more sinister than the Japanese translation

this will have an unsatisfying answer: in my opinion, there really isnt any. bloodborne is the most centralized of them all, imo, and i really chalk this up to it being a more self contained and western narrative (at least on the surface level) compared to games that are either spread across multiple games (dark souls) making them fuck huge to consider or they're elden ring which is also fuck huge lol. theres just a lot of information to process. these stupid games and the collective understanding of their story really comes from disparate random reddit and forum guys who just pipe in with their evidence and its up to a jury of their peers to decide if it passes the smell test or not. its an imperfect system that allows some crap through. but as the whole, the collaborative research efforts have proven to be an excellent example of a community coming together to solve problems that don't matter at all lol.

unfortunately the research method is usually looking up questions and characters as they come to you and seeing if anyone else noticed or followed your own train of thought. trawling a wiki until you see something that makes you go "hey what is that all about" and seeing if anyone else knows or at least has a lead. and then you go from there.

HOWEVER: shetani's lair has the best sekiro breakdown i have ever seen in my entire life and greatly influenced the bloodborne doc. her work is phenomenal and REALLY gets in the nitty gritty of the translation work. i don't think people can do much better for sekiro than her work. its very good and very long. great reading imo.

this kind of dovetails into translation: i tend to look at both translations when i look at the games. this is because of a peculiar oddity in how the games are made; most of the games (sekiro excluded) are intended to have english voice acting. so at least a major part of the game's text is english only and was intended to be that way. as is inevitable with any translation job, some nuance gets lost. it is hard to convey a lot of the nasty doublespeak and pointed ambiguity in the original jpn item descriptions, which is why i try to hold the fan-provided japanese translations up to the english translations to see what carried across, what didn't, and if anything was missed.

but this doesn't mean the translations are bad. if anything they are shockingly good considering the conditions the translators have to work with (the japanese they translate is is like. archaic apparently lol. with tight turn around before launch). sometimes i am blown away by the translator's ingenuity at threading what must often feel like an impossible needle. ranni's ending speech is def way crazier than it was intended to be and might be the biggest example of a scuffed translation in a from game. she says some insane shit implying she's about to annihilate all life on earth with the cold instead of taking the cold away with her lol. oops!

and as always, if you have questions i would love to try to answer them. or at least say "i dont know" lol

[romirola]

Hey! First off, I just gotta say I love your work! The way you characterize everyone always feels so deep and full of thought, and it just adds onto the already interesting stories that you have going.

One character that I always enjoy reading from the perspective of in any fic is Babe, but one thing I've noticed is that there's not a ton done in regard to their dynamics with certain pack members across the fandom. While there are plenty of works out there featuring their dynamic with Asher (of course), Angel, Sweetheart, and sometimes darlin' and sam, I feel that there's rarely any exploration done with their dynamics with Milo and David. Longwinded preamble aside, I'm curious how you would describe your personal view of their dynamic with the two. Is there anything in specific you approach it with when writing?

Thanks!

Hi, Anon! Hey, thanks so much for stopping by and sending this ask. It means so much to me, and I really appreciate it. <3

Babe is an incredibly fun character to write and to read about. I love their tenacity and heart. I love their dry sense of humor, their ability to see the big picture, their courage, and even their vulnerability when the time is right.

As fun as it is to write bona fide Asher/Babe-centric stories, I also really enjoy mixing things up by having Babe interact with other members of the pack. Your question has been so much fun to think about!

I think one thing that's really important to note about Babe is that they are the FIRST unempowered mate of the Shaw Pack ever. That's a lot of pressure. To integrate into a world of magic is hard enough, but to be thrust into the role of beta-mate while trying to navigate this huge change in perspective? Babe strikes me as the type to want to know as much as possible, to fill in all those knowledge gaps as best they can, and to do so on their own because they don't want to be dependent on Asher. I headcanon that Babe can often be found at at the Empowered section of the Dahlia Library, studying as much as they can about not just shifter culture, but empowered society in general. They attend lectures, seek out classes, read on their own. Whatever it takes.

That's something I bring to bear on their relationship with David especially. Babe wants to be a capable, supportive mate to Asher. They want to make sure that his best friend and alpha views them as an asset to Asher, not a burden. So I think when it comes to David, especially early on, they often try to "prove" to him they aren't just some informed-idiot. (Apparently, they discover, that's a common phrase in magical society.) David always saw Babe as a wonderful addition to Asher's life, not so much for their knowledge (though he is often impressed by them), but because of their love for Asher. David sees the difference. Asher is more confident with them. He shares ideas more readily. He takes charge more frequently. He breathes a little easier. And David loves to see that. He never struggles with Babe, finding himself enjoying both conversation and silence with them. And lately, I've even gotten the chance to explore the deep connection I know David and Babe share. My current fic, The Prince Shifter, is an AU where I've cast Babe and David as cousins. Having that dynamic has really allowed me to explore a very comfortable vibes between them. AU and Canon, I think Babe has the guts to always tell David what he needs to hear, and David really respects that. They just... click.

When it comes to Milo, I think he and Babe hit it off right away, much to Babe's utter surprise. They know they come off as stony, stoic, even abrasive. It's usually hard for them to make friends, despite the friendliness and care lurking just below their surface. But Milo seems to take them in stride, never pushing for more than they are willing to give, yet very willing to meet them right where they are. It's fun. The pair really enjoy spending time together, plus Milo loves to see Asher fall in love with his person. There's a really small , brief moment in It Was the First Time (Things Felt Normal Again) where Babe helps Milo breathe as he suffers through a bout of "magic-stroke" (his post-Inversion injuries), and it's honestly a nice moment that I think demonstrates their bond.

Something I should probably also mention that underscores just how much Milo and David appreciate Babe: I headcanon Asher has had a string of truly awful partners. Users, cheaters, and worse. People who just took-took-took from a nice guy willing to give so much of himself over, and expecting nothing in return. It broke Asher's friends' hearts every time to see the relationship crash and burn, usually with Asher feeling devastated. David and Milo initially presumed Babe was going to be the same. Until... they realized, this was different. Babe was different. And they couldn't be more glad.

What do you think, Anon? That was long-winded, but I do so love the opportunity to talk about this stuff! Please do feel free to reach any time!

[illuminatedferret]

.

Are we sure gods in TGCF actually die if they're just forgotten? I mean, all of the worldbuilding I've seen thus far comes with the heavy addendum of being made after Jun Wu's genocide against the old Heavenly Court, who might have pruned the bush of withered gods who perhaps got sick of his shit. I'm just saying, Jun Wu might have had a dog in the fight about keeping his court (relatively) young and naive. Probably with some heavy aid from the world being a vast and deadly place, people do still seem to die if they are killed in heaven.

Perhaps I'm just bitter about immortality always being bemoaned as this horrific thing. Sure it is, if you want to look at it like that, but the entirety of human existence falls within a 300,000 year timeframe. I think I could make it from the age of the Khan to the age of cocaine and still be eager to watch two people fall in love for my entertainment.

The short answer: no, being forgotten does not kill gods in TGCF!

The long answer: Generally speaking, in xianxia, immortal cultivators become immortal by relying on their own talents and skill- they put in the hard work over decades, if not centuries, to develop their inner cultivation to a point where they can functionally live forever. In TGCF, though... not only is it possible to ascend to godhood, but the prayers you receive as a god give you spiritual energy. Can you see where I'm going with this?

Godhood is basically a boost to your cultivation. Once you've ascended, if you seek immortality, you no longer need to worry about your own inner cultivation- you can use the power of your prayer base to sustain you. You can even use it to sustain your subordinates! In TGCF, immortality and godhood are by and large conflated, but they are still two different things. Who knows if having the potential to ascend even means they have the skill to cultivate to immortality, anyway. It's not like it's exclusive to them- Mei Nianqing presumably never ascended, but he's still alive and kicking and pushing 2000+.

All things considered, I would not be surprised if many gods simply aren't capable of sustaining themselves without the help of their followers. So if they lose their follower base, if they're forgotten, or otherwise lose their godhood... then it's inevitable that they'd die. They may end up living for longer than the average human, but unless they've got some stellar cultivation (or a life-preserving cursed shackle), old age is going to get them eventually, if nothing else. They're only human, after all.

I do find the fact that all of the top gods in the Heavenly Court (sans Jun Wu himself) are at most 800 years old very interesting. I find that very interesting and incredibly suspect. I 100% don't think it's beneath Jun Wu to do some murders if he feels the need. But I also don't think he's responsible for the fall of every single god before Xie Lian's generation. He's capable of it, but I don't think he'd need to be that involved. Gods rise and fall all the time.

Re: your feelings on how immortality gets portrayed... People like to play around with what-ifs. If you like the sound of immortality, that's great! TGCF doesn't particularly suggest immortality is a horrible thing. Absolute immortality like what Xie Lian has is definitely scary when you think about it, but conditional immortality isn't so bad. It just depends on what your limits are, I think.

[hillbillyoracle]

So I am in a high conflict relationship for the forseeable future. I'm disabled and can't work, my family support is middling, and I am still COVIDing but have trouble living alone. It's a bad time.

But one of the things that's come out of it is that this situation combined with my near pathological optimism that I can figure it out to some degree means I have tried all of the advice out there for being a relationship with someone with treatment resistant NPD and ASPD/Psychopathy specifically and then some.

So if that sounds useful to you, let's chat.

Grey rocking - the near universal standard I see recommended everywhere - fucking blows. It's non-specific so it's difficult to know what you should be doing in any given situation, is mentally and emotionally draining, and can escalate the folks who have high impulsivity. I hate it.

The strategy that I return to time and time again, the only one that tends to stabilize things to any degree is called SMART contact from Marriage Helper. It's designed for people who are separated, in the process of divorcing, or similar who would like to reconcile. But it is so useful for high conflict relationships in general.

SMART is an acronym. It stands for:

Stop PUSH* behaviors

Manage shared business

Allow them to start conversations

Respond calm, strong, and gentle.

Take it one day at a time

PUSH is also an acronym. It stands for:

Pleading, begging, manipulating

Unnecessary crying

Starting fights

Hovering, tracking, monitoring

Basically "drama".

Consistently when things have started to get bad again in my relationship, I've realized I've stopped using this framework. Other techniques - like Dr. Ramani's DEEP technique (Don't defend, engage, explain, personalize) - make decent additions for the "Allow them to start conversations" part but without the other parts of the framework, it just doesn't work as well.

I prefer SMART over grey rocking for a few reasons but one in particular, is that while grey rocking can be quite nuanced, most of the examples I see get used ultimately involve not pushing back/letting the high conflict person do whatever they want in most regards. Dr. Ramani often talks about how you're already getting walked all over, the goal is to reduce the length of the walk over. And I personally am never going to feel safe, comfortable, or mentally resilient enough to spend the rest of my life being a better and better doormat.

I think if you've got solid friendships and relationships outside of that person, maybe grey rocking with just them wouldn't destroy you but if you're highly isolated like I am, I just have found that it makes me incredibly suicidal over the long term.

SMART doesn't seem to have the same impact on me. It doesn't require me to lack human emotions. It acknowledges that I will have to go out of my way to interact with her on occasion (to manage business items) and that that serves a purpose. It reminds me to focus on today to hem in eternity thinking which I find is far more damaging to me than say personalization alone. It also gives instructions for how to broach boundaries when I need to "calm, strong, and gentle".

And additional aspect of Marriage Helper's materials is what to focus on instead of fixating on the problem partner - another acronym called PIES. They use it to denote areas of attractiveness but I use it to remember my own needs that I often neglect or sacrifice to focus on conflicts with her.

PIES stands for:

Physical

Intellectual

Emotional

Spiritual

With SMART, PUSH, and PIES - I've got most of the daily ins and outs of living her covered. Is she rage baiting me? Respond calm, strong, and gentle/don't use PUSH behaviors. Has something broken around the house? Focus on managing the problem with her. Am I unsure if I should text her about something? Well if it's not about a shared business item then it's probably best to let it go or tell someone else. I feel a need to go do something? Work on my PIES.

Grey rocking doesn't cover nearly the same breadth in my opinion.

Anyways, I wanted to share it in case someone else finds it helpful.

[raqi-marr]

HDG How-To: Class-E xenodrugs in real life

A while ago, I wrote one of my first posts on this blog about the experience of trying to recreate class-H's in real life by doing LSD. This was generally very successful, and having done it several more times since then, I can confidently say that if you want to feel like you are getting the floret brainwashing experience, LSD is a very good drug to do it with.

However, I recently had an unexpected and unplanned-for experience which has given me quite a lot of insight into what being on class-E's would probably be like in real life. My first exposure to anything that could be described as similar was when I started duloxetine (an anti-anxiety SNRI medication) last year. I can't actually remember super well what life was like before that any more, but my recollection is that after going on it, I noticed myself having substantially less intrusive thoughts/being less inclined to doom spiral about stuff any time I was unoccupied for more than 10 seconds. The entire experience was more complicated than that and deserves its own post some time, but it is also kind of boring and not all that class-E pilled so let me get to the good shit now

Yesterday, I was privileged enough to get to actually try cuddling another human being for the first time in my life (I say privileged because lord knows how many of us long distance relationship mfs go years without physical touch.) As it turns out, this shit makes SNRIs look like fucking sugar pills in comparison, because by the everbloom I have never been so fucking chilled out in my life as after an hour of getting held and squeezed by my partner

I have a bunch of anxiety conditions and am generally known by all my friends as That One Bitch With No Chill, so you can imagine my shock when, in the aftermath of this, I sat down at my chair and prepared to start worrying about how many jobs I have that I need to go and finish and how I probably did a shit job cuddling with my partner, and found that my brain just didn't feel inclined to do any of that stuff at all. Not just 'uninclined', but straight up refused to do it after repeated prompting from a very confused me

The best way I could sum up the experience was like someone had reached into Raqi_Settings.txt and set "anxiety_enabled = true" to "= false". It just did not work any more. This immediately reminded me of a couple scenes I'd read in HDG where pov chars get put on class-E's and just can't do that any more, and I started wondering "okay so wtf is happening to me, why did an hour of physical contact put me on fucking plommy-tier drugs"

The answer, which I figured I would share with everyone else who might be similarly inexperienced with the Terran capacity to self-synthesize xenodrugs, is oxytocin! If you're anything like me, you probably read 'oxytocin' and go "oh yeah that's the hormone that makes you feel all lovey and dopey around people, right?" and think that's more of a class-C thing. Well: yes, but also, apparently no; as it turns out, it does more stuff than that! A friend linked me this article describing the anxiolytic effects of oxytocin:

I am not a chemist so I'll be real: I don't understand this shit beyond the abstract, but the abstract seems to be all one really needs to get the main point here; namely, that oxytocin - in addition to being a bonding hormone - also makes you less stressed. A lot less stressed, it seems like.

So in essence, it seems as if Terrans synthesize their own class-E's from prolonged intimate physical contact. This strikes me as having a lot of potential HDG-coded play uses, and so I'll briefly go over a few of them below:

You can, at least theoretically, probably force someone to get less anxious just by (it'd have to be non-stressful, presumably, or this wouldn't work) physically restraining them and then snuggling with them lots

Have someone who chronically worries about stuff, and can't be convinced to chill out? Just turn their own body against them and make it drug them into forcibly relaxing! There's a lot of potential for very hot play in having someone who is very anxious and usually refuses comfort from their friends just getting forced to snuggle for a while, and the fact that if they don't break out of it, their brain is going to make them calm down adds a very fun con-noncon aspect to it.

I noticed while experimenting that the sound of someone's breathing/heartbeat is in fact very hypnotic, and I found myself naturally synchronising my own breathing with my partner's. This is probably about as close to core cuddles as it's possible to get irl.

Since oxytocin is also a class-C, you can bully whoever you're doing this to about how you are also forcing them to love and trust you in the process!

i am a dumb bitch who doesn't know how to stop working, and the thought of being forced to chill the fuck out by both physical and chemical means is very hot

The last thing I can think to note is that the general sensory overwhelm of being in such close proximity to another person also had a very strong quieting effect on my ADHD; which in turn made falling into a trance state not only easier, but automatic without any encouragement (oh yeah also I'm autistic and ime the sensory from getting squished tight is Very Good). the takeaway here being that it would probably be very easy to hypnotise someone who was being little spoon i think

So yes! I have not yet had the chance to experiment further with this, but I may make a follow-up post when I've had more time to come up with additional ideas. In general I just really like the idea that, if you're anxious, you can just go "hi hello please hold and squish me for an hour" and your brain responds with "understandable; disengaging anxiety module for the next 16 hours". all the memes about terrans being designed for touching were true it seems

[stargirlie-sharon]

my brain: hey

me: what

my brain: what if you made headcanons about team prime with a chronically ill/disabled human

me: THAT'S GENIUS LEVEL SHIT LET'S DO IT

Team Prime taking care of a chronically ill/disabled human

Fandom: Transformers Prime

Ft. Optimus Prime, Ratchet, Arcee (+ Jack), Bumblebee (+ Raf), Bulkhead (+ Miko).

Content: Headcanons, platonic comfort, fluff. Reader's illness isn't directly stated. Mentions of mobility aids, flare-ups, pain/discomfort (caused by said chronic illness). Reader is implied to be an ambulatory wheelchair user. Dividers by dollywons.

A/N: this was very self indulgent (and comforting to make), i have plague psoriasis and god it is not easy living with it with all the flare ups, skin issues, psoriatic arthritis... >:( i'm doing a lot better now, i first wrote this while i was having a pretty bad flare-up. as of now i'm fine, but even now it still scars me

to ya'll who are suffering too from a chronic condition, i want you to know that you're loved, and your illness doesn't define who you are. you're not alone. this journey won't be easy, but there will be others willing to support and share that burden with you. take care! <3

tfp banners made by me in picsart! i would prefer if you didn't use these, since i have made them specifically for these headcanons, but i can't exactly stop you, can i? lol. just don't claim as your own

soft autobot hijinks ensue. long post ahead!

After they had been newly introduced to you, the Autobots had swiftly picked up on the fact that you were in need of a bit of extra assistance than the regular human, considering your condition. And they're more than willing to give the support that you need.

Optimus Prime

Optimus takes on the role of a protective maternal figure for you rather quickly.

He reminds you to take it easy, and that your body needs its rest. He wouldn't want you to strain yourself.

He may collaborate with Ratchet- whether that be to ask for advice, research together about your illness(es), or for the both of them to care for you.

If you're a wheelchair user, he'll request Agent Fowler to make modifications to the base so it's more accessible to you and easier to get to certain areas. Ramps, platform lifts, and disability-friendly stuff in general will be installed. Also, your meds/supplements, comfort items and things you may need will be easy to retrieve here at base. He wants to make sure you have the best quality of life here.

It makes his spark ache to know you're in so much discomfort. He wishes he can do more to ease your pain, and feels guilty that he can't do much more. He wants nothing more but for you to feel safe and happy.

Optimus is a good listener. He likes hearing about your interests and hobbies, even if he may not understand it the most. And you're more than welcome to vent to him.

If you want, he'll tell stories from his past back on Cybertron, before he was a Prime. Maybe you could share some memories with him, too. Optimus is just happy to talk with you, and it brings him a sense of warmth when he sees you in an uplifted mood.

Sometimes, he'll cradle you in his servos, his touch giving you a sense of security. As he does that, he'll reassure you with encouraging words and remind you of how much you are worth.

"You're so strong, little one. Despite everything, you strive on and keep going, even in the darkest of times... you're truly more than meets the eye. I'm proud of you. I mean it."

Ratchet

As a medic, he cares. Ratchet educates himself about your illness and does whatever he can to aid you. He'll research your illness's effects, triggers for flare-ups, basically everything. Also, expect him to ask you questions from time to time.

He is a bit more prepared to care for you, since he has dealt with patients back on Cybertron that were disabled and/or ill long-term.

When you're around, he's always sure to keep a watchful eye on you. He's also visibly more concerned and caring when it comes to you. (The others find it endearing. Don't tell Ratchet, though!)

"Have you taken your meds/supplements already? No? Go take them. You need them, after all."

"Do you need a boost? Here, let me help you."

Ratchet opens up more than usual when he's with you. He's even more soft with you when you have flare-ups! He can't help but let his usual grumpy self falter when he sees you in this state... He orders you not to move around too much or put yourself in more discomfort.

If you ever need to vent about your struggles and insecurities, Ratchet's there for you. Sure, he may not be the best with handling emotions, but he'll be there to listen. He'll try to the best of his abilities to console and reassure you. He has your back, and is never leaving your side.

Arcee (+ Jack)

She's sooo protective of you. Seeing you as part of her extended family, along with the other humans, she is fiercely protective when it comes to you. She'll go above and beyond to ensure of your safety and well-being. The last thing she'd want is for you to be in pain, let lose you.

Being the smallest of the team has its perks! With her size being the closest to a human, Arcee can easily fetch you your aids and medications whenever you need it. Just say the word, and she'll speed off to get your desired item (and you might not even need to say the word, it's like she already knows it by instinct).

She'd be really good at giving advice. Honest and firm, yet reassuring and gentle.

"You're doing awesome. Keep up the good work." She'd say to you after you've done even the smallest of achievements. Had your breakfast? Well done! Drank water? Good job! Took time to rest? Amazing!

She's the greatest at hyping you up. "You can do this. You're unstoppable!"

She isn't usually one for physical affection, but she enjoys just.. being present with you. You'll have her sitting by you or silently supervising you.

Jack also is frequently concerned about you. Not to the point where he is a constant worrywart, but he does care. You'll get a "How are you doing?" or something along the lines of that from time to time.

Arcee is a mama bear. Anything or anyone trying to hurt you? They're as good as scrap. Speaking of mamas...

Jack's mom? Every time June visits, she always wants to check up on you. She brings in monthly care packages specially made for you, filled with snacks, medications and supplements! Jack was a little embarrassed at first when she started giving those to you, and with her coddling you, but he's gotten used to it. As long as you're okay and cared for, he's okay too.

Bumblebee (+ Raf)

Bumblebee was initially quite concerned about you. This was the first time that he's ever heard of humans being ill long-term. And the fact they have to go through so much? It makes him feel bad.

He's very clingy and caring to you! He likes spending quality time with you, and he may invite you to fun drives out with Raf! That is, of course if you are physically able to. If not, then maybe a video game or movie will do.

Bee joyfully beeps at you in greeting. "Bee's happy to see you! He's asking how you've been." Raf helps to translate.

Bumblebee is your source of emotional support and comfort. He really does love and cherish you, and is super affectionate!! He wants to make sure you're happy as often as possible.

Headrubs, hugs, a hand- or rather, a finger on your shoulder, holding you- all of it is a must!

During dark days, he's always there to provide support for you. Vocal comfort isn't exactly the best option for consoling, so physical comfort is the next best thing for him to bring you comfort. Hugs, nuzzles, pats, anything to give you those warm and fuzzy feelings.

He may not be able to voice his love for you properly, but he certainly can and will express it with whatever way he can to make sure you are constantly loved by him, regardless if you have you have your illness or not!

Bulkhead (+ Miko)

Bulkhead treats you as if you were made of glass (not like he does it with the other kids). Extremely gentle and careful. He's a gentle giant to the core.

He also asks a lot of questions to know how your illness works and what you may need.

Miko likes cracking up jokes or offer to watch movies and/or play games in order to make you happy.

In all honesty, she isn't very confident in comforting others verbally, despite her talkative and outgoing personality. But Miko still wants to give support whenever you need it!

Cuddle pile!! Bulkhead and Miko will set up a cozy little area for all three of you to just relax, filled to the brim with blankets, pillows and snacks. You and Miko will be resting against both sides of Bulk, while his servos gently hold both of you, acting as a warm, secure blanket for you two.

Your smile never fails to make him smile as well. "Aww, well aren't you just precious. Glad to know you're feeling happy."

Seeing you in pain, whether it be physical or mental, also never fails to stab him with a pang of sorrow. Immediately comes to your side to comfort you. "Hey, hey. It's gonna be alright. Here, lean on me."

Bulkhead is always there to lend a hand- or servo, whenever you are in need of it. If you just want to spend time with him for a while or cry your feelings out, he'll pat your back reassuringly with kind words.

thanks so much for reading! feel free to request something if you'd like. you can request for more disabled/chronic illness related stuff, too!! ^_^ i'd be happy to write for it, and i'll do it to the best of my efforts. INTERACTIONS/REBLOGS HIGHLY APPRECIATED!!!! i worked hard on this