#and james nesbitt please anyone. i need to talk to someone)

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Imagine having a Panic attack while Filming The Hobbit and Richard, Graham and Aidan help you through it.

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I am basing this off my own experiences with panic attacks ie the symptoms, the triggers and how it feels. I know that panic and anxiety attacks effect different people in different ways.

Warning: Mentions of panic attacks, triggers and symptoms of panic attacks. If this could trigger you, please do not read this.

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You had never told anyone in the cast or crew about your panic attacks. The reason why is because you didn’t want to feel like a burden to them. You played a very important role, the role of Alrùn, (my OC), Thorin’s lover in The Hobbit movies.

Now, filming the movies was stressful for everyone. There was getting into and remaining in character, there was the due date for when the movie had to be finished and released, there was making sure all the equipment worked. What really triggered your anxiety was being in large crowds. You tried your best to keep your anxiety in check, but it didn’t always work.

“[Y/N]?” The voice of your director, Peter Jackson, broke you out of your thoughts. You looked up at him. You started to feel the slow tingling in your feet. “Did you hear what I said?” He asked. You cleared your throat as the tingling started to climb up your legs and spread to your arms and into your hands.

“I-I didn’t. Sorry.” You said. Peter smiled.

“No harm done, love. I said that you will be pushed into the middle with Martin when Elrond and the Hunting Party come through Rivendell, alright.” Peter said. You nodded and forced a smile. You were trying to keep your hands from clenching up. A hand was placed on your shoulder, making you jump. You looked to your side and saw the concerned face of your friend and co-worker, Richard Armitage, who played Thorin Oakenshield in The Hobbit.

“[Y/N], are you alright? You seem out of it.” Richard said. You forced a smile again. Everything started to sound as if it were underwater. You tried your best to keep your breathing in check.

“Y-yeah,” you mentally cursed at yourself for stuttering. “I’m fine. Just tired.” You said. You could tell that Richard wasn’t buying it, but didn’t press the issue. Peter made his way over to where the screen was.

“Alright, ready,” he said. Everyone got into their positions. “And action!” The horses came barroling down the entryway and straight for the Company. As Bofur, played by James Nesbitt,

pulled Bilbo, played by Martin Freeman,

into the middle, Dwalin, played by Graham McTavish,

pulled you into the middle of the group. That’s when you lost all control of your breathing. You looked around with wild eyes, tears brimming the edges. You breathing was erratic. You felt like you couldn’t breath. Martin placed his hand on your back, starling you.

“[Y/N], love, are you alright?” Martin asked.

“Cut!” Peter shouted out. He saw the panicked look in your eyes. He rushed over. “[Y/N], are you alright?” He asked. You couldn’t foucus.

“I-I need air.” You stuttered out. You pushed through the group, ignoring the calls of your name from the others. You ran all the way to Stone Street, where your trailers were. You ran into your trailer, which was positioned next to Richard’s. You shut the trailer door and ran into your bathroom, pulling your legs close to your chest. You shut your eyes and started to cry.

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Richard knew something wasn’t right the minute [Y/N] pressed her hands flat against the trousers of her costume. He placed his hand on her shoulder, making her jump.

“[Y/N], are you alright?” He asked. He saw her forced smile.

“Y-yeah,” she stuttered out. Richard looked at her with even more concern. “I’m just tired.” She said.

Richard immediately knew something was wrong when he saw the panicked look in [Y/N]’s eyes and her breathing picking up. Peter called cut and made his way over to her. When he asked if she was alright, all she responded with was “I-I need air.” And pushed through the crowd, ignoring the others calling her name. Richard looked at Peter.

“I’ll go make sure she’s alright.” He said, and rushed out of the set of Rivendell. He made his way to Stone Street, making a b-line for your trailer. Noticing your door was closed, he knocked on it. “[Y/N], sweetheart, are you alright?” Richard called. When he got no answer, he knocked again. “[Y/N], I’m coming in.” He warned and opened the door. His ears immediately caught the sound of sobbing and made his way over to where the sobbing was coming from. He slowly walked in, trying not to scare the girl who was currently crying on the bathroom floor.

“[Y/N?]” Richard asked. You jumped, causing your breathing to pick up once again. He slowly made his way to you and knelt before you. “Can I touch you?” He asked gently. You looked up at the man and nodded, still crying. Richard gently took your hands, which had been clenched into fists, and started rubbing circles in the backs with his thumbs. “Is it alright if I sit behind you and hold you?” He asked. Again, you nodded. Richard helped you stand up on shaky legs. He quickly but slowly made his way behind you and gently pulled you down to sit between his legs, keeping your back pressed against his chest. “Try to take deep breaths, love,” Richard said, his breath tickling your ear slowly started bringing you back to your senses. You tried to match your breathing to Richard’s. Eventually, you calmed down. You closed your eyes and allowed your head to fall back. The sound of more foot steps caused your eyes to open and your breathing started to quicken again. Richard gently rubbed his hands up and down your arms. “You’re alright, love. There’s no need to worry. It’s just Graham and Aidan.” He said. Realizing that they were friends and not here to hurt you, your body relaxed. You looked at the two men who were sitting in front of you. Aidan looked at you with sympathy.

“Can I get you anything’?” Aidan asked.

“Water please.” You said quietly. Your throat was hoarse from crying so much. Aidan nodded and got up. Graham gently scooted forward.

“Can I hold your hand, sweetheart?” Graham asked. Richard tilted his head to look at you, waiting for your answer. You nodded slightly and placed your smaller hand in his larger one. Just as Richard did before, Graham started gently rubbing circles into the back of your hand. Aidain returned with a glsss of water. Your hand was still shaking lightly, so Richard helped you drink it. The cool liquid felt soothing against your throat.

“Do you know what triggered the attack?” Richard asked. Once you had enough water, Richard set it down next to you.

“Large crowds give me anxiety.” You said. Aidan’s eyebrows met in confusion.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone this before, love? I’m sure Peter would have understood.” He said. Tears came to your eyes again.

“I-I didn’t want to be a burden. Everyone has so much to worry about already. The last thing everyone needs to worry about are my panic attacks.” You said, tears falling down your face. Graham gently squeezed you hand, making you look at him.

“Sweetheart, you could never be a burden.” He said. Richard’s hand reached up and gently wiped away a tear falling down your face.

“Graham’s right. We’re a family. And family takes care of each other no matter what.” He said. Aidan smiled and placed his hand on your knee.

“If you feel comfortable with it, whenever you feel anxious or like you are about to have a panic attack, come to either one of us. We’ll make sure you’re alright.” Aidan said. You smiled tiredly at him and placed your hand over his. Your eyes gently fell closed. The last thing you remember was being picked up and set down in your bed. Three individual kisses were placed to your forehead. You smiled as you drifted off. You now knew that you could go to someone. There would be someone there to help you.

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//Hello all. I hope you are doing well. I wrote this imagine based on my own experiences with panic and anxiety attacks. Being in large crowds is normally what triggers panic attacks for me. I try not to tell anyone because I don’t want to be a burden, which normally leads me to lie about if I am doing alright or not. Physical touch, like someone holding my hand or rubbing my back really helps me because it helps me to know that I’m not alone. I want you all to know that if you ever feel like you are getting anxious, you can talk to me. I will try my best to help.

Also, please comment what you think about this in the comments. I want to know your thoughts and opinions. What you liked about it, what you think I could improve on.//