#and it's such an easy position truly esp looking back at that moment in time

[camphorror]

And at least to me the vibes are RANCID when ur talking to someone about absolute nonsense that can be just friendly chat but there's an ocean of years ofbhistory between you that must cease to exist for any of these "chats" to exist but the worst part is that it's only I that probably cares about this because he has no reason at all to slightly care at this point about anything that happens, cos he's still with the girl I loved the most in my life! He didn't lose nothing in that whole ordeal. It's only I who feels like this cos that day (funnily enough, exactly 7 months ago TODAY completely shattered my life to pieces)

[plan-d-to-i]

Plan, saw someone criticise lwj for the scene where wwx ask him in bm if there's other road. They said wwx asked for a solution & lwj didn't even answer & left bm. Do ppl really read the book? That person was a novel reader who write metas here so it's weird that they'd read certain scenes in a way that isn't intended by the author. Must be the victim mentality influencing their reading comprehension & making them do selective reading.

Fr. It's so odd when people try to blame either of them in this situation. WWX's question reads as rhetorical. He obviously knows he doesn't have a core so he can't cultivate any other way, esp if he is to have enough power to act as a deterrent to those who would harm the Wens, esp after publicly cutting ties with YumengJiang for jc. jc who was the person who most should have done something, and was in the best position to do something being both a Clan Leader and the beneficiary of Wen Ning and Wen Qing's aid. Instead he publicly cut ties w WWX and confirmed the worst rumors about him to the cultivation world, calling him their enemy. But back to LWJ, he obviously didn't know that WWX didn't have his core when he kept questioning him about his cultivation choices; and the bulk of his worry stemmed from how WWX's mental and physical wellbeing would be affected by his continued use of resentful energy. Not because he was bliNdEd by his rules 🌝. LWJ's ideals didn't change drastically over time, he more just had to come to terms with the fact that WWX would make his own decisions even if they might harm him. After all LWJ was drawn to WWX precisely because he was that type of person who prioritized innocent people. Idk why fandom keeps trying to rob LWJ of his goodness and morality and act like WWX is the one who instilled/inspired them in him. They're both special people! They're drawn to each other precisely because their world views match! LWJ always went where the chaos was. That's his thing, which even WWX admits is not as easy as it sounds:

When Wei WuXian heard of Lan WangJi’s reputation for being wherever the chaos was, he didn’t think it’d be too hard, but right now as he tried it in person alongside Lan WangJi, he discovered that it was truly a test of one’s resolution.

LWJ took the beating for breaking curfew right along WWX and didn't heal himself. LWJ walked form miles on an injured leg, miserable because he didn't know if his brother was still alive, knowing his home was burned and that his father was dying and he still defended MianMian ~

However, one of the GusuLan Sect’s disciples on the side had been trembling as he listened to Wen Chao’s threatening words. He finally couldn’t hold it any longer as he rushed over, grabbing MianMian, and prepared to tie her up. Lan WangJi’s brows stiffened. He immediately struck the disciple to the side.

Although he didn’t say anything, the way he looked at the disciple was more than imposing. What such a look meant was clear to everyone—it truly is a shame that the GusuLan Sect has taught a disciple like you!

LWJ had his own sense of justice from beginning to end, and it was usually in harmony with WWX's. As MXTX wrote -

(translation : & great post from @suyanzhi )

LWJ respects WWX's agency in the end; his decision to continue cultivating as he has, and to protect the Wens, and he respects it again after Nightless City when he returns him to the Burial Mounds even though he most likely knows how it will end.

"A moment later, Wei WuXian spoke up, “Lan Zhan, you asked me if I intended on staying like this from now on. To be honest, I’d like to ask something as well. What can I do apart from this?”

He continued, “Give up the demonic path? Then what about the people on this mountain?

“Give them up? I won’t be able to do it. I believe that if you were I, you wouldn’t be able to do it either.”

He continued, “Nobody can give me a nice, broad road to walk on. A road where I could protect those I want to protect without having to cultivate the ghostly path.”

Lan WangJi gazed at him. He didn’t reply, but both of them knew the answer in their hearts.

There was no such road.

No solution existed.

Wei WuXian spoke slowly, “Thank you for keeping me company today. Thank you for telling me the news about my shijie’s marriage too. But, let the self judge the right and the wrong, let others decide to praise or to blame, let gains and losses remain uncommented on. I, too, know what I should and shouldn’t do. I believe that I’ll be able to control it as well.”

As if he’d anticipated such an attitude since a long time ago, Lan WangJi nodded slightly and closed his eyes.

And that marked their farewell."

It says right there, there was no nice broad road, and they both know it; As things stand WWX could either have a safe(r) life or he could protect the Wens. There's no perfect solution. This wasn't a request for aid, but more a request for understanding from a person whose righteousness and integrity WWX also believes in and respects.

[parrishh]

i'm like, 90% sure all of the anons in my inbox right now are actually the same person so, if that's you, i'm just going to answer all of your mister impossible questions in this post since there are a lot of them and this is going to be really very extremely long

"Wait what why is Jordan awake?"/"Is the sweetmetal of declans picture helping jordan stay awake?"

i don't know why she's awake but i don't think it's the painting, because at the end of the book she's outside declan's apartment, not her own. i guess it's possible that she succeeded in making the painting a sweetmetal powerful enough to sustain her even there, but i feel like there's probably a different explanation. i've seen theories that she's inadvertently made herself into a sweetmetal by finally seeing herself as her own person rather than just a copy of hennessy, which is interesting

"And the things about the ley line Idgi? Hennessy wants to stop the power but for what"

i think hennessy thinks shutting down the ley line is the best (or even only) way to get rid of the lace. she hates herself for the lace to the extent that she doesn't even want to live anymore, so of course that's her primary motivation. she feels hopeless so long as the lace has power. she's desperate

"Why did he think adam was in on declans plan? I think the "oh" was more like oh you want to come with bryde of course...."

the "oh" is in response to ronan saying "i'm calling now. i need to see you", before there's even any mention of bryde. adam says "you're here? oh", not "you're here? why are you here?" the fact that he didn't ask why ronan was in town, the fact that he said an "oh" of realization instead, implied that he already knew why ronan was in town. and he could have only known by speaking to declan. i think it was a reasonable conclusion on ronan's part

"Ronan are you being serious????? Why should Adam/Declan drop everything and come fight with you - they didnt even know where you are, they don't know the plan. Then you accuse them of that Moderators plan without questioning them. And I mean, yes, Ronan is easily manipulated and he thinks everyone is against them and Bryde is the only one who cares but come on!!!!!!! Seriously, doesn't he get that he might be in the wrong????"

i mean, i think you hit the nail on the head when you said "he thinks everyone is against them." for a long time, he's been struggling with feeling alone, like he's a burden, like the people he loves don't really understand him. he's never had a healthy relationship with another dreamer, so it makes sense that he feels so isolated from literally everyone he cares about. and now he just found out two of the most important people in his life went behind his back to conspire against him (even if he doesn't have confirmation about adam, declan does admit to it over the phone) which is just...salt on a wound he's had since he was a kid. i'm not saying he's in the right, but i do understand why his immediate reaction was what it was. when you've been hurt like that, it takes some time before you can like, calm down and reconsider your own role in the situation

"Ronan basically dreamt Bryde in his worst dream right? Why does he still trust him"

i mean, i don't know how much we can believe what bryde says, but when he reveals himself as being ronan's dream he basically says that everything that he (bryde) wants, ronan already subconsciously wanted before he even dreamt him. that bryde wants it because ronan wanted it. to admit that bryde is in the wrong, ronan would have to admit he, himself, is in the wrong, too, and that's not easy. especially because a lot of his motivation is saving matthew and not wanting to live with the weight of matthew's life on his conscious anymore. especially because he's felt alone for so long, and now he just found out the first dreamer to truly make him feel less alone is his own creation. he's hurting. a lot. he will admit to being wrong in the third book, i think, but like i mentioned above, that kind of growth takes some time

"I think Ronan actually doubts Brydes plan too bc he thinks stuff like people built the dam, there are living things here, it cost a fortune..... and i personally never see a purpose in what they're doing bc bryde never tells them and ronan obviously doesn't know or he thinks he doesnt. I think he doesnt and he just trudts bryde blindly for now and his insecurities aka bryde take over and rule over ronan. Thoughts?"

i mean, i think ronan sees the purpose. here are his thoughts, directly quoted from chapter 17 when bryde is talking about restoring the ley lines:

"A world where Matthew could just live. A world where Ronan could just dream. A world where every dream was clear and crisp and easy to navigate, so there were never accidents or nightmares. He wanted it."

he wants, as i mentioned above, for matthew's life to not be reliant on his own (which i understand. that's a really heavy knowledge to live with.) he also just wants to be able to exist wherever he wants and with whomever he wants (thinking, for example, about how he wasn't able to get an apartment in boston in cdth), without constantly worrying that the nightwash is going to kill him. poor guy just wants a normal life

"Also did we ever actually see bryde get something out of a dream? Most work did Ronan"

this is interesting. now that you mention it, i don't think we do. supposedly he dreams the orbs, but i can't recall ever seeing that happen? i could be wrong, though

"And why is the nightwash mostly ronans problem? I mean hennessy and rhionna (?) had it very little and who knows if the other dreamers have it"

i think ronan is a much, much more powerful dreamer than any of the others. there's something...More about him. something special about being the greywaren. i don't know what it is, specifically, but i anticipate that's something we'll find out in the final book, and i expect it'll explain why the nightwash affects him more than it does the others

"Who the hell dreamt the mods"

i don't know! i think the most popular theory right now is that it was nathan farooq-lane. i'm not sure how that works, though, since they killed nathan and bryde took the sweetmetal off of lock pretty early in the book (unless nathan isn't actually dead, somehow) (or bryde is nathan, which is another popular theory). another theory is that it was ronan. like, he was feeling so alone and misunderstood that he accidentally dreamt his own persecutors? or it's possible that they were all just dreamt by random dreamers and that's why they felt strongly enough about the "cause" to become moderators, but that's kind of boring

"And why are R B and H so dangerous? Bc of what they're doing?"

yeah, and, i mean, according to liliana's visions, they have the power to end the world

"Can I point out that Idk what everyone is talking about, I dont get pynch possible breakup vibes at all from this book"/"Am I trippin or did I read another book? Because some fellas say there's no pynch"

i think when people say there's no pynch, they just mean that there's very minimal pynch interaction, specifically. because, yeah, even though they're both constantly thinking about each other, it is true that we only get one moment of them actually interacting (the phone call), and it's obviously not a positive interaction

i don't think anyone actually thinks they'll break up. at least, i haven't seen anyone say that and i've been feverishly reading everything under the mister impossible tag, so

"What struck me as really odd was that Adam bought this stupid 14$ waffle which he would have never done a few months back and I dont think he would do it now? 14$ is a lot of money esp for a waffle so why spend it on something as useless as this? And why do the others need Adams money? Are they all on scholarships? Was it just bc he had cash and the others didnt? And why is he treating them like his followers and they treat him as their guardian or whatever like he clearly needs to be honest with them"

okay, first off, i will say, as someone who grew up poor and, like adam, absolutely busted my ass in high school to get a good scholarship so i could go to college, the relief of actually getting that scholarship is...powerful. my financial anxiety definitely didn't disappear once that happened, but there was, at least in my experience, this feeling of "i made it, it's going to be okay now" that made it a little easier to spend money. i don't think it's that unrealistic that he, now having the security of a harvard education, would spend fourteen dollars on something he doesn't need every once in a while. it would be completely out of character for henrietta adam, yes, but it's a bit different now. plus, it wouldn't suit his faux Harvard Adam persona to refuse the waffle because of how much it costs

i think his friends are all a lot more well-off than he is. it was just that they didn't have any cash on them and the waffle truck didn't take card (also realistic, i never have cash on me so i always have to ask someone to spot me when a place turns out to be cash-only)

i think (a) they all look up to him because he has this really calm, cool and collected persona. more importantly, we can assume that they were all struggling with something when he met each of them, since they were all crying. now in swoops this guy who saw them upset and came to comfort and befriend them. of course they see him as something like a hero. and (b) i think he likes that. in high school, he was the one being rescued, not the one rescuing. i think he enjoys being the kind of person he used to wish he could be (ie. gansey. he's being gansey)

"I thought it a bit funny in a weird way that Declan talked about marrying Jordan…I can't imagine he was being too serious about it?"

no, i mean, i don't think he was literally proposing, not yet. he's just really happy for the first time in a long time (maybe ever) and, after a lifetime of pain and trauma and more responsibility than he ever signed up for, i don't blame him for wanting that feeling to last forever, even if he's not really thinking clearly

"Also I think it's amazing they make each other so happy but the ending makes me a bit sad or surprised bc shouldn't Matthew be his nr1 priority now?"

we only have jordan's perspective at the end, so when she thinks that it was clear declan had come out of his apartment looking for her, i don't think that necessarily means he wasn't also looking for matthew. i don't think it's fair to say that, in that moment, he should prioritize either matthew or jordan. he loves two dreams, so he can and should be concerned for both of them equally. i don't think one love is inherently more important than the other just because it's lasted longer or because it's family

[socksual-innuendos]

Damnit i should be allowed to talk about it on main and not worry about looking "professional" BUT

Holy shIT MY DUDES I can't believe its (basically) official that me n my buddies managed to mod and print a zine like holy shit. I gotta lay down. I thought my/our previous experience with similair stuff would make this a familiar sort of environment to run but holy hell it was not, and I mean that in such a good and like, humbled way.

Like, overall and throughout the project the feeling was very straight forward and handle-able but the moments when I'd stop and realize the end goal and what the whole picture was for this project, I personally felt overwhelmed at times and even nervous about it. But! We managed it! Our moderator team was amazing and our artists were such a wonderful group to work with. Seriously I cant state that enough???? Even from just past irl group work and leadership roles I know that theres an inherent risk with having a group of people to work with and direct, but everyone was so easy to work with and get along with. I seriously cant overstate how thankful I was for the group we had, it truly was an honor and pleasure working with all of them!

I guess I am still just estatic about this coming to a completion, and I am even more excited still for the postman to do the final work. Its kind of surreal, esp thinking about this booklet being on complete strangers' shelves or like, that years from now I'll look back at it like "oh shit remember when we did this"

Ok maybe i am just being sappy on main but I feel like we all could use a bit of positivity. Aaaah.

[heffrcns]

william schofield falling in love with a stenographer:

this is my first hc request, so i’ll give it a shot :) though please keep in mind this is my first time doing anything like this, so please be easy on me (esp. with typos/mistakes) !! also, this ended up being pretty long i’m sorry ahhh !!

warnings: none really, fluff! kinda cliché in parts though oop, i’m a sucker for it

(also i apologise for any historical inaccuracy, this is all for the purpose of the story!)

will was in the trenches, which he was somewhat used to at that point, when he first saw her

a beautiful young lady (he especially thought so) stood with her pen and paper in hand, scribbling down her observations

will was instantly intrigued by both her beauty and what she was doing

she was allowed restricted access to near the front lines, in order to record her eyewitness accounts of the horrendous war that was happening around her

this made will think a lot about how different their roles were, in the same place at the same time

while being deep in thought, he also made the decision that he needed to talk to her, at some point or another

but initially, he couldn’t bring himself to

what if he made a fool of himself? why would such a beautiful woman want to speak to him? she was surrounded by men, after all

he brushed away his irrational thoughts by moving along the trench to check on his fellow soldiers

he also made a promise to himself - that he will talk to her next time

the next time her saw her, however, she wasn’t alone

another soldier he didn’t know the name of was striking up a conversation with her

although he was too far away to hear what they were saying, he did hear her let out a laugh

and wow, was it the most angelic laugh he had ever heard

but he then remembered why she was laughing

because of another soldier. another soldier that wasn’t him

filled with involuntary jealousy, he stayed put until the soldier (finally, he thought) left her alone

this was his time to talk to her

so with sweaty palms, a nervous gulp and sigh of frustration for getting so worked up, he started to make his way over to her

his jealously faded more and more the closer he got to her, her beauty being undeniably overwhelming to him

when he finally got to within a metre of her, she noticed his eyes directly on her

this lead to the most vibrant smile making its way onto her face

oh boy, will almost died on the spot

the smile was aimed at him

he faintly smiled back, being in too much of a trance to reciprocate it properly

if he could rewind time he would’ve replayed that moment a thousand times over

but since he couldn’t, he found himself clearing his throat nervously, realising he should probably say something

“uh, hi, i noticed you here a while ago - not that i was watching - well i was, but only a bit, uh, and thought i’d say hi.. so, hi?”

he cursed at himself in his head for saying ‘hi’ 3 times and being a blabbering mess

but she let out another one of her angelic laughs, to which he suddenly took back the mental cursing

he didn’t care what he said, he made her laugh

“well, hello” she smiled again, following it up by introducing herself, “and you are?”

it took a few seconds to even process his own name

“i’m lance corporal schofield, uh, william schofield. but uh, you can call me will”

“we’re going by nicknames already, will?” she joked

that was it.

that was all it took - her beauty, her smile, her laugh and her witty remark was all it took to know he had fallen

and he had fallen hard

from then on, that was how it went

every time he saw her (which he made the effort to do a lot), he’d make conversation

he gradually got more confident around her, making jokes himself

and he definitely appreciated her laughs he received in return

it even got to the point where blake noticed his frequent visits to the young woman

so of course, teasing endured

will always replied with a “shut up” or “get lost, you bloody idiot”

but he couldn’t ever deny blake’s remarks

because he was right - he was well and truly whipped for the young stenographer

after a few more weeks of talking, laughing and even a bit of flirting (go on, will ;) ), the time had come

she had to retreat back from near the front lines, as she had a satisfactory amount of records to keep her going

but she didn’t want to go, she really didn’t

and will most definitely didn’t want her to

but duty called

as relectuant as will was to let her go (for now, he determinedly thought) he was also partly relieved that she was going to a less dangerous place

he thanked god that nothing bad happened to her while she was here

and although war doesn’t stop for love, he sure as hell felt like it did when it came to her

so they both savoured the last few times they shared with each other

where it became apparent, for both of them, that their love for each other had grew immensely

out of all the things will expected from the war, falling in love was definitely not one of them

and he really, truly had

never in his life has he felt this way about a woman

no girl he’s ever met at school, the pub or down the street has ever come close

so when they were sharing their last moments together before she had to go, will simply couldn’t keep it in any longer

“hey, uh, i have something to tell you before you go,” he stammered

the same nerves he had when he first met her came flooding back

and she noticed this too

“yeah, what is it?” her intrigued, somewhat concerned voice asked

“i- well, you’re just so amazing, funny, beautiful, god, you’re so beautiful, caring, and every other positive word i can think of,”

he was rambling again, like he did during their first meeting, but still, it felt so different this time

“and anyways, what i wanted to say is, uh, i love you”

and again, just like their first meeting, she laughed

it was a lighter laugh this time, almost like laugh of relief

will looked confused for a second, almost regretful in case she thought he was being ridiculous, until she replied to his confession

“i love you too, will. so much. i wish i didn’t have to leave you just yet”

let me tell you, will’s heart EXPLODED

e x p l o d e d!!!

and the fact she felt the same, combined with the fact she was leaving, gave him a confidence boost

to do what he’d been wanting to do pretty much since he laid eyes on her

with literal heart eyes and a deep breath, he slowly leant down

and then he felt her soft lips on his, as she met him half way

they both melted into it, like their lips were made for each other

cliché, i know, but that’s exactly how he felt

his hands went to rest on her waist, while her arms wrapped loosely around his neck

when they finally (and reluctantly) pulled apart, their foreheads lay against each other, neither of them wanting to move

“hey, will, promise me something?” she broke the silence

he hummed in recognition of her question

“when all this is over, you’ll come find me?”

“of course i will, but you’ve got to me promise me you won’t get hurt. stay safe for me, love, and i’ll come find you as soon as i can” he said

even just the thought of something happening to her made his heart beat faster

“then you’ve got to promise that as well, stay safe for me”

and that sentence, that very sentence, gave him all the determination in the world to make it through the war

he kept going, through each gruelling day, just to see you again

he saw some sights he never wants to see again, lost some people he wish he didn’t, and escaped close calls along the way

but he knew, deep-down, that she was still out there - his love

and she was, waiting for the day will came back to her

thank you so much for reading, i hope you enjoyed :) i feel like i ended it kind of abruptly i’m sorry, but i already got too carried away lmao. i’m also experimenting with tenses, and my next one might be using ‘you’ rather than ‘she/her’, which will also help to make some of my future ones gender neutral :D

P.S. i hope the formatting is okay, it’s done on mobile so let me know if it’s not worked!

[lovelahela]

❛ i know it's today ❜ ─ lily spencer.

⇢ requested by @windswiftcupid !

⇢ pairing: lily spencer x mc (jade)

⇢ genre: fluff, highschool!au

⇢ song: i know it’s today ; shrek, the musical

⇢ description: in which lily spencer, just another tech crew kid, likes the out-of-her-league female lead.

⇢ word count: 1399

⇢ notes: i’m sorry for the long wait esp if it didn’t end up being worth it skjfasf if u want a part two i’d love to write it!

Theatre was the bright bubble in Lily Spencer’s stressful world,  a place the inner life of the human soul comes to dance, sing and exclaim of all that really matters. High school was not an easy stage in life, at least for people like Lily, who are kicked to the side as outcasts who don’t fit in with the social norm. Maybe it was her weird love for video games, or her impeccable skill of spilling word vomit and ultimately embarrassing herself; either way, Lily made peace with being an outcast, no matter what the reason for her exclusion was.

There were people like Lily; cast aside, viewed as peculiar and “uncool.” And then there were people like Jade; popular, loved, adored by all. Jade was out of her league, of course; when you’re a hyperactive nerd crushing on a lead actor that is - defying all laws of physics and the universe - also the captain of a varsity team and the president of several clubs with outstanding grades, you realize your chances are quite slim.

She did like girls, though, so Lily never truly surrendered her dream of snatching a gorgeous, rare specimen like her.

“Spencer! Were you paying attention?” Mr. Castellanos, the school’s economics teacher, snapped impatiently at the daydreaming girl sitting at the back of her class. She had paced her cheek on her fist and was gazing dreamily at the wall behind him, igniting a spark of exasperation for what seemed like the thousandth time since he had begun teaching her.

She jumped in her seat at the abrupt yell, earning snickers from her classmates. Jax Matsuo, a fellow outcast (although he was definitely loved by the female population more than his peers, considering he was quite handsome and gave off “bad boy” vibes) nudged her playfully from behind and whispered, “Oooooh, busted.”

“Uh - I - Of course I was!” Lily lied straight through her teeth while looking the teacher straight in his angered eyes. Her heart could run whole marathons at the rate it had been beating, and her hands began to sweat. At that point, all pairs of eyes present in the room had been on her, including her raging crush.

“Oh? Then tell me what the financial gain made in transactions is.”

She gulped nervously. Shit, crap, damn it all to every hell, she swore profusely in her mind. Mr. Castellanos raised his eyebrows at her expectantly. Out of the corner of her slightly widened eyes, she spotted - to her shock - Jade waving to grab her attention. Once they locked eyes, her heart skipped a beat and a fuzzy feeling warmed her stomach. Shut up, stomach, now isn’t the time, hissed Lily mentally. Jade gestured to her lips, and mouthed clearly: PROFIT.

Lily immediately made eye contact with the economics teacher once again and blurted out the answer that her classmate gave her so quickly and panickedly that it made him slightly suspicious. He narrowed his eyes at her, but nonetheless congratulated her for answering correctly.

“Good to know you’re not completely useless in my class, Spencer. Don’t let me catch you like this again.”

Lily let out a long breath in relief and a grin resembling that of a maniac stretched across her lips. With reddened cheeks and pinkish ears, she mouthed a thank you to Jade, who returned it with the warmest smile she had ever been given.

You had better believe that particular moment was the only thing Lily thought of until the end of the school day. On her way to lunch, through Eng. Lit., during her mathematics class - the single topic on her mind was Jade. She couldn’t believe how childish she had been acting and felt as though she was back in elementary school with the biggest schoolgirl crush.

Eventually, rehearsal rolled around. All the theatre kids gathered in the theatre, discussing their plans for upcoming rehearsals before the big day. The play they were preparing for was, to Lily’s delight, Shrek: The Musical. She remembered laughing like a madwoman with the Costume and Makeup crew, who adored the idea of making the most pompous boy in their school look like a large, green ogre. It was beautiful, really.

Lily positioned herself next to the tech crew’s equipment as Jade, who played the eldest version of Fiona (she had been glad they didn’t rob her of the part for not being light-skinned), readied herself to begin singing one of Lily’s favourite parts of the musical - I Know It’s Today.

She watched as the child and teenage Fiona sang their parts beautifully and adjusted the lighting accordingly. The youngest had quite the magnificent voice, Lily knew she would go far in life. She could barely prepare herself when she realized Jade’s verse was approaching, knowing she would be just as affected by it as she always was.

“Here come the waterworks,” whispered the person in charge of the music, Nicole, jokingly. Lily poked her in the ribs with a childish huff.

Jade finally appeared, wearing a long ginger wig and a green dress that fit her like a glove. Her powerful, melodious voice rang throughout the theatre loudly and clearly, striking a chord within every occupant of the room - even their jaded and strict director, Kamilah Sayeed. Lily’s eyes glazed over with a glossy coat of tears threatening to spill over her cheeks. Her voice was beauty, music, grace. It was the promise of tomorrow, and Lily never wanted it to end.

“Lil, are you crying?” chuckled Nicole quietly, careful not to disrupt the rehearsal.

“No, I just have a tree in my eye.” Her voice quivered when she answered, and when she saw Nicole eyeing her with a single quirked eyebrow and a smirk, she huffed out again. “Both eyes.”

The blonde next to her shook her head with a knowing smile, but Lily completely ignored her and centred her focus on the singing beauty on the marvellously decorated stage.

Once rehearsal was over, Lily waited at the bus stop nearest her school to finally go home and unwind from such a long and tiring day. She stared at the blue sky above, adorned with pure clouds and the occasional soaring bird. She sensed someone take a seat next to her, but took no notice of them.

“Wow, no thank you, Jade, for the heroic save during Econ?”

A shriek unwillingly barreled out of her lips as she jumped yet again in her seat, startled by the sudden appearance of Jade. She sat next to her, the uncoolest person in the world, of all people? Eyes wide and cheeks flushed, Lily avoided Jade’s gaze and stammered the worst apology in the universe, earning a hearty laugh from the latter.

“Relax, Lils, I was just joking!” Her pearly whites almost blinded her when she showcased her megawatt smile. Lily squeaked pathetically at the sound of that nickname, unaware that Jade even knew her name. “You do a great job with the tech crew, by the way. You’re a pretty cool gal.”

“I… Pretty… Gal? Cool?” The gay panic is too much for me to handle, cried the mortified teenager in her anxious mind.

She chuckled nervously. I’m in danger.

“I’m sorry we never got the chance to hang out before, I usually try to get to know everyone in the club. How about I make it up to you?” Her gaze was soft and friendly, making her feel weak in the knees despite being seated. Her stomach did somersaults.

“You - I - Yeah. Cool. Cool. SURE!” She cringed at the way her voice cracked when she all but screamed the last word.

Jade smiled warmly. “You don’t have to be nervous around me, you know!”

“Easier said than done,” muttered Lily, but it was loud enough for her companion to catch it.

“Come on, there’s an ice cream parlour just down the road! Ditch the bus, I’ll give you a ride home when we’re done.” Jade grabbed her hand firmly and yanked her onto her feet, excitedly dashing down the asphalt with a very confused but very ecstatic Lily Spencer attempting to catch up without tripping over her own two feet. A grin crept and the air grew thick with a tenderness that couldn’t help but make her breathe faster, happier.

Maybe Jade wasn’t as unreachable as the glittering stars in a night sky like she thought she was.

[masterthespianduchovny]

I believe Kendall is the most popular character in the series, but Roman is far more compelling in my opinion.

His emotional arc and burgeoning maturity is a compelling thing to watch, esp when you get glimpses as to why he is the way he is.

In the beginning, I wanted to root for Roman because he was a Culkin, and then Roman tore up the check and I was like, “Fuck this dude.” I mean, clearly, the character and not the actor.

But, in retrospect, that doesn’t seem like something Roman would do. Yes, it’s canonical that he did it, but it’s also canonical that he was wearing, presumably, a wedding band in that same ep that we’ll most likely never get answers for. My point is: the pilot ep is almost always the rough draft of characters going forward. This doesn’t erase his actions, but it just seems “out of character.”

With that being said, we see Roman going from a yes man to his father and caring about his own bottom line to genuinely assessing situations and giving his honest opinion. 

His journey to get there was strange, unusual, yet sweet.

Roman was sex obsessed, vulgar, and a fuck up. It was easy to assume that he’s this way because he’s spoiled when, in reality, he most likely suffered the worst of his father’s abuse and was punished for being “weaker.” The implied explanation behind Roman’s behavior is that Logan put his youngest son down in one way or another to uphold the hierarchy between him and Kendall. We see that Connor knows his place and doesn't challenge it, but Roman did and does.

Logan made it where Roman was self sabotaging and heavily insecure about himself and his abilities. 

I want to resist the urge of labeling Gerri as the catalyst behind Roman’s change, but I see no other significant factor beyond her. Roman has always wanted to prove himself to his dad and repeatedly failed because that’s how he was molded. But, something happened during the trip to Japan that made Roman and Gerri become closer. Even if it was unstated and imperceptible, there was a change that bonded them.

The Roy children are conditioned to want their dad’s approval, despite failing or it never being enough. Which is why Roman keeps trying.

But, things change with Gerri.

After getting business advice from the wrong person, he finally asks the right person. If it hadn’t been for Japan, would he had asked her? And what’s more noteworthy is: he takes her suggestion seriously. 

Back in season 1 episode 2, we see that Roman respects and admires Gerri’s skills at her job. 

Interestingly enough, Roman wants her in the room during a business dealing, which is a stark contrast to his vehemence of Frank being his babysitter. IMO, Frank most likely made it very known that he looked down on Roman and probably gleefully reported Roman’s mistakes and fuck ups to Logan. Although he didn't have many dealings with Gerri before season 2, she sasses Roman back, but treated him like an adult; albeit, a very spoiled one, but she did humor him, take him seriously, and keeps whatever mistakes he made between them.  

The thing that really spurs Roman’s maturity and self awareness into motion is Gerri checking on him. How often do we see people check on Roman’s emotional well being? Or touch base with him? But, Gerri does and Roman asks her what he needs to do to be taken seriously.

He wouldn’t had ever asked Frank that. And Frank would’ve given him some smart ass reply if he did.

But, Gerri gives him practical advice and is open to being the person Roman leans on. She gives him great, but obvious advice that benefits him in the long run. Her advice also addresses Roman’s glaring flaws of not having practical experience, training, or knowledge surrounding running a business.

Gerri is the first person that Roman allowed himself to be completely vulnerable regarding his insecurities and desire for his father’s approval who made him feel safe and validated. She didn’t give a smart ass reply or justify why his father didn’t trust him, she advised him to do things that will get Logan to trust Roman.

And this is important because Gerri goes from, Gerri Kellman, job good-doer to, Gerri, someone Roman can confide in about professional issues.

After that, we see Roman calling and telling her about every little thing. He sees her as a mentor, but also a friend and someone who isn’t going to judge him.

And maybe this is where the change truly starts. Perhaps, the rocket incident is still on his mind, but having Gerri being a soundboard and help guide his career, Roman can finally begin to grow into his own. This is further underscored when their relationship crossing into a sexual boundary. Roman reveals this incredibly intimate part of him and Gerri doesn’t judge him; she doesn’t make him feel bad about; she inherently understands his need. What interesting about the second “conference call” scene is that Roman is fully prepared to leave and apologizes before realizing that Gerri is in character. And then, he goes into character instantly.

After their first conference call, he’s awkward around her. With their second, he’s his normal self and cracking jokes and telling the truth because it sounds like a lie.

Since this was around the time Roman found out that Shiv was the heavy favorite for the next CEO, he’s down, but is also showing self awareness. He hasn’t reverted back to his old self. Gerri has to beg him to talk to Eduard, but she basically informs him: I went to bat for you, despite your father wanting Tom. I find it noteworthy that he describes her suggestion as “make up sex” and her “grinding against him” to apologize for the Shiv thing. He’s allowing himself to be upset with her in that moment like normal people do opposed to the repressing his true feeling like he does with his family. Whether Gerri revealing that she suggested him to his dad meant something in that moment, it definitely meant something going forth. I believe after this we get an increase of “Gerri says”, Gerri thinks”, and “Gerri cares...”

Gerri is the only one who has consistently taken Roman seriously, was a resource for him to improve his business skills, and allowed him to be vulnerable without making him feel bad about it. 

That, in turn, made Roman take himself seriously as a person even when it came to offering a suggestion that continued to threaten Waystar as they knew it.

It takes a lot of maturity and self awareness to say, “hey, this is an important deal for us; I may not be the guy for this”, despite you knowing what this opportunity could mean for you. And Logan’s decision to keep the course with Roman wooing Eduard has everything to do with Gerri’s faith in him. Would Logan care that Roman was good with people, if Gerri hadn’t pushed for him, stressed that the panel went well, or the other things she’s done? Gerri constantly put Roman in a position to succeed, which fed him confidence and allowed it grow in a healthy way. This is highlighted times a million when he tells his dad to reject the offer after him kidnapping.

But, we also have his interpersonal relationships with his family members.

Roman asked his father if he was doing well and had someone to talk to about Marcia. He was truly concerned about his father’s emotional well being. Roman wasn’t just content with, “You good?” No, he also wanted to see if his dad had a support system to deal with his marriage falling apart. This is not the Roman of season 1, that’s for sure. On the yacht when he asked Kendall and Shiv if they could have a normal conversation if they came out of the situation, he WAS the only mature one in the discussion. I know they were having funny, but it did appear that Kendall and Shiv have difficulty having normal, healthy, and productive conversations with one another. They’re so used to competing, undercutting each other, and looking for an angle. They don’t fully trust each other.

Roman wants to know that his loved ones are doing okay and connect to and with them, but ironically enough, he is the only one having a healthy “relationship.” His needs are being met.

For him to trust Gerri the way he does to not only 1. Propose a business team up, but 2. Defend her at the blood sacrifice, speaks volumes.

It shows that he has come a long way from the asshole who ripped up the check in front of the kid and the guy who washed his hand and pretended a rocket didn’t explode. 

This also makes Roman dangerous, but in a good way. Kendall has always had the advantage over Roman because he knew the business and how to speak in business terms. But, with Roman working through his issues and actually putting in the work, Roman could give Kendall an actual run for his money. I've said this before, Roman is a killer. But, he lacked the confidence and knowledge to be useful. With Gerri’s guidance and his ever growing confidence and skill, Roman is growing into a better successor in reality, esp because I think he has better negotiating and people skills. 

[fairycosmos]

I don’t want to unload, but I’m struggling rn & I would appreciate a listening ear. I just finished a conversation with my parents and they appear to lack empathy & understanding regarding my mental state. My dad made fun of me self-harming & wanted me to go away. My mom thinks I’m faking depression, & that I’m repressing angry. She ridiculed my personality & whatnot. She also thinks that suicide attempters are cowardly. I have nobody who understands me & I’m just crying rn. I’m a teen.

hey angel. jesus, i'm so sorry you're in this situation right now and i can't even imagine the extent of how hard it must be. any anger or resentment or sadness or disappointment you're feeling is totally justified, a natural reaction to not being listened to. while it's all so painful to initially process, it's alright to let these emotions wash over you. cry if you need to, write it all down, accept it an hour at a time. as long as you're trying your best to keep yourself safe, which i recognise is unbelievably difficult when your mental health is not in great shape, but just attempting is honestly good enough. listen, your parents are completely fucking out of order and honestly disgusting for ridiculing the very real problems that you're facing at the moment, and i don't blame you at all for being hurt. mental illness is serious and so is harming yourself, and those factors should not be treated lightly. unfortunately, because they are your parents, i think it will always be difficult to think about them being so willfully ignorant. it's something i struggle with too, and a LOT of people do, you're truly not alone. which is cliche i guess, but it couldn't be more true. any way my point is that there comes a moment when you're growing up where you just realise that your parents are literally wrong and there's nothing you can do about it. it's not your fault that they don't take mental illness seriously, there is nothing you can physically do to make them see sense. which is awful, and you deserve better, but it's also kind of freeing to just see the situation for what it really is. their behaviour, while it impacts you, is not shaped by you. it's obviously very natural to look to your parents for guidance and support, but if they're not capable of giving it that's on them and it doesn't mean you're not deserving of help, or that you won't find it. your parents have shown that they know nothing about what you're going through or the seriousness of self harm, they have shown how shallow minded and egotistical they truly are. so what's the next logical step? you seek what you need else where. no matter how much you don't want to. this is about what you need, and there is maturity in that distinction.

i want to make it clear that i'm not saying you're not allowed to be devastated by your parent's response, or that it's easy to just move forward from something like this. it's not. it takes a lot of time and energy and personal growth, and it may be something you learn to manage over the course of your life as opposed to a singular hurdle. but that really is okay, there's no rush. getting better isn't linear. i just think you're so so capable of asking for help even if your mind is not allowing you to see it, because you were able to send this ask, you were able to talk to your parents even if they didn't choose to hear you. i'm not sure where you live or what the situation is, but as a general rule here are some resources you could try:

mental health hotlines esp ones that specialize in teenagers, there's loads of them.

school counselor/trusted teacher.

a support group in your community.

your doctor (i understand you'd have to make an apt through your parents but if that's a possibility, take advantage of it.)

any youth crisis/community center in your area.

self help/self care coping mechanisms tips you can find online.

i know that your brain will likely have a natural aversion to all of these ideas, and maybe it seems impossible to actually picture yourself reaching out for support in those ways. but i'm telling you straight up that that is just another part of the self destructive cycle and doing something different to break it, to begin changing the belief system that is causing you to self harm in the first place, is vital. yes, it's scary. yes, it's a process. and yes, some days are not going to work out the way you want them to. but for now just considering these alternatives could do wonders for your quality of life, if you give it the chance to. your parents are obviously fucked, but you get to live the rest of your life with the knowledge that you are a better person than them and that you are going to see and do wonderful things, divorced of their influence and opinion. i mean, i can't stress that enough dude. i'm assuming you're very young, and with a combination of natural development and positive reinforcement, your perspective is going to change so dramatically. you're not hopeless, you're not trapped. your mind will spend hours doing mental gymnastics to try and convince you that you are but it always comes back to reality, and the reality is that there is always a way forward. and that everything you're thinking and feeling right now is so temporary, so unbelievably temporary. talking to someone is going to allow you to see that from multiple perspectives, and getting things off your chest can make a massive difference in and of itself. all you have to do is seriously think about it at the moment. recognise your self destructive patterns for what they are, and then do what you can to subvert them. maybe it won't work every time, but trying is better than nothing. you truly do not need to take on the burden of trying to make your parents understand when they're so set on misunderstanding. you know? and someday, sooner than you think, you will be old enough to curate your own healthy and happy environment, especially when you're in total control of your own choices and health. it'll happen so much faster than you realize. please please try to stick around and take it a day at a time until then. you're a wonderful person, and it is okay to act on that basis. it's okay to help yourself in whatever way you can, even if it just begins with doing so 2 or 3 days a week. anyway, i'm sorry this got so long. i know how lonely it is, but i'm rooting for you with my whole heart and if you ever need a friend or someone to rant to, i'll be here. we can figure it out together. hit me up anytime.

[6ad6ro]

let's talk about this idea of incels for a sec. i'm gonna do my best to not make a single insulting remark here. and i'm oversimplifying gender and sexuality like crazy since incels tend to be cis men. so anyways incels are ppl (men) who wanna have sex, but believe women just won't let them, right? they feel somehow their personalities make them incompatible with girls. okay.

most ppl? just view that rejection as a period of loneliness rather than defining themselves by it. when you grow up, you realise that most ppl want romantic partners. or at least an emotionally comparable variant. it's rly not hard to meet ppl. you just get out there. be nice n considerate. honest. accept things don't always work out and realise it's not the world against you. you just keep looking. meet people and let things happen naturally.

TLDR: incels are just toxic, extremist versions of the guys who used to bring up "friendzoning", and fz was never real. girls don't actually have an easier time dating than guys. it isn't women doing this to you, but rather the fault of patriarchy and the dudes in charge. you can change! just stop with this silliness because it's making things way worse for you!

i'm not particularly attractive, especially now that i'm older. i don't have a lot of money. i'm rly not interesting. i have a ton of personality baggage and flaws. hell, i'm agoraphobic and sorta like a western hikikomori. it's rly hard for me to meet people even online. and yet, when i DO get out there? i wind up in relationships or flings or flirty friendships. bc that's just how it works.

you have to meet ppl and develop a relationship to have... the physical parts of a relationship. life isn't porn. or harem anime. people have brains and feelings. and everybody has preferences. that person who you think is perfect for you? maybe they just weren't looking for someone like you. it isn't cruel of them to have their own opinions.

i mean honestly i don't think a single one of you incels would fuck just anybody. you guys have preferences too. are you sure if you didn’t open your eyes a bit wider that you couldn’t find someone? bc there are tons and tons of lonely ppl out there! the majority of ppl, actually. it's insane how many ppl are out there, right at this moment, who wish they had a sexual partner. go find them! be willing to have broader preferences! stop looking for someone who is "perfect" and look for someone who you can just be happy with!

okay so fine you say "well i'm ugly from societies standards". but... then why are you going after people who follow society's standards. as someone who constantly feels outcast in your life, shouldn’t that experience SHOW you that popular societal opinions are mostly frivolous? standards of beauty are fake? so if someone rejects you purely on that front (and this is a stretch bc everyone has valid personal pref), why isn't that a GOOD thing to you!? you aren't wasting your time on someone who harshly judges you based on unimportant things! you're filtering incompatible ppl out that way! it's all very natural.

okay lastly... i'm gonna bring up a part that could make me look bad. but i wanna be rly honest here. so women? do seem like they have an easier time meeting men. SEEM is the key word here, bc they actually don't. not really.

but girls who are willing to severely fall into the gender roles that patriarchal society forces upon them? yeah. they do. as long as they're fairly "attractive". and willing to spend a ton of time TRYING to be attractive. ESP if they're a bit aggressive themselves. thanks to awful patriarchy, typical gender roles have men chasing women like predators after prey. i won't get into ALL the extensive, rapey issues that involves bc that isn't my point here.

tho i mean how is that any different than a guy doing similar role stuff like "working out/making money/acting cool"?? if you really wanna meet the kinds of girls who fall into typical gender roles, you gotta do the same thing? i don't think this will make ppl happy... but if you wanna play games with ppl, you gotta play within the same dumb rules!

but back to my point, girls that let themselves be chased easily find themselves with guys more often. bc in patriarchy typically the guy has to initiate. girls like that are being reactive. so from a naive male perspective, it can look like "they get any guy they want". no. they're just saying yes to the guys they like of whatever pool of guys who are going after them. if they aren't chasing guys directly, how can they be directly rejected out of the gate?

let's look at it this way: a guy chases after 20 girls he kinda likes over a few years. 5 respond positively back. it prob seems like he only has 25% success w women and is usually failing, right? whereas a girl gets hit on by 20 guys over the same period, but says yes to 5 of them. so she's getting an "100% success rate" there, since she only wanted that 5. she wasn't chasing anyone. to guys it looks like they WORK for women, but women just win the lottery with guys? no. absolutely wrong. that is objectively incorrect.

you aren't incorporating all the guys they rly want. or how often they just "go with it". how often do you hear stories of girls wanting a guy and winding up w their friend instead? girls actually typically play within a pool of disappointment rather than chasing ideals. it's not literally disappointment tho? it's just being realistic. they play with the cards they're dealt.

there are TONS of girls who don't wanna spend so much of their lives playing that game tho. who DON'T wanna live within the confines of being a trophy. or if they aren't naturally lucky enough to be "pretty" by default, who aren't willing to spend 75% of their day compensating for that. those girls? aren't surrounded by guys. often single. often lonely until they get older and find someone they're mutually compatible with. bc that's another thing most guys don't see?

the only girls "worth" going after are the "appealing/easy" prey. or "white whales" where they just hope they'll get lucky. men aren't aggressively going after the chubby girl who wears reg clothes and doesn't actively try to look "sexy". they aren't drawn to girls who aren't giving them that playful "come get me" attitude. to them, they see that girl as "just a friend". or a " last resort". or "maybe a lesbian". it's fucking gross.

you might be like "well i know girls like that who have TONS of sex so"... have you seen the levels of desperation stereotypically "unattractive" girls like that have to stoop too? let me tell you, i meet these girl's bf and they're often total scumbags. they're scraping the bottom if the barrel. are you sure these girls haven't stooped to total desperation due to so many years of being overlooked when they acted normally? or ask yourself, were they ever TRULY "unattractive/unappealing" in the first place? u sure you don't just have weird standards??

btw can i point out? the tradeoff? the utter lack of power and choice girls have in this system? girls have to be born pretty and actively attractive with a sexy personality at all times. guys just need to have a moderate amount of money and be occasionally considerate. girls have to be sex objects whereas guys can be just people. bald, fat, somewhat unattractive guys are seen as normal but if a girl looked like that? she'd be perceived as a monster.

as a male working within gender roles you have the freedom to go after as many girls as you want without issue or disrespect. nobody is gonna call you a "slut" for trying to meet many girls. the list goes on and on. why are you mad at girls when you were "born winning"? you are more likely to live a happier life being alone than a girl would constantly being with someone. you should be grateful you aren't them... not mad at them.

but anyways... all this stuff? is super gross. weird toxic shit. it makes sense you would be lonely and angry when you don't wanna play by these rules. or change yourself to be more "appealing". but... why are you getting mad at girls?!?!? why blame women?? shouldn't you be mad at the source? patriarchy. society. gender roles. capitalism. look at who's running the show. bc it isn't the women you're mad at. or "the sjws". it's men in power.

you're seeing your lawn die in the summer sun and getting mad at the grass for daring to dry out. so you go out and stomp on the lawn. instead of using that anger and that energy to water it or give it shade. what are you thinking!? use that "logic" you guys are so proud of and actually try and solve the issue instead of throwing a moral temper tantrum. you talk about girls "bein so overly emotional" but what the heck do you think you're doing here right now?? stop trying to find an easy cheat solution and FIX the problem!

nobody should resort to violence about this stuff, but if you WERE gonna get violent, why isn't it at the people who structured your sexual prison? rather than the girls you wanna convince to fuck you? do you really want a world where girls fuck you out of fear? bc that's rape. would YOU be happy being raped? don't wish for an even rapier world. don't be so stupid and naive. rapey patriarchy is the cause of all your issues to begin with. this is the exact opposite if what you want.

honestly this incel thing just seems like an extremist offshot of the old "friend zone" argument. very similar to how gamergate warped into literal alt-right nazis. it's gross and absurd and you depressed, confused guys are being manipulated. you aren't thinking. please seek therapy or a wider perspective? if you hate feeling lonely and ashamed, why would you wear that shame like a badge of honor? just stop. spread happiness instead and you'll start to receive it back. you can change! it's that simple! it's okay!!!

[penitentprodigy]

OOC QUESTIONS ;

RULES: Answer the questions you’ve been given, then write your own and tag 11 people.

1. what is your favorite thing to write when it comes to rping?

i’d say it’s definitely fluff omg i feel like i write that most and it always makes me feel good. in the same vein i like writing silly stuff too! most of the time fluff and silliness go hand in hand in my responses. i’ve found i’ve been doing silly stuff a lot recently and i’m not sure if it’s just bc i don’t have much inspiration for longer responses so i default to short lighthearted stuff?? lmao that’s probably part of it but i also do really enjoy writing fun lighthearted scenarios.

2. what do you struggle with the most when it comes to rping?

ACTION i feel like i’m so terrible at writing action. which sucks bc i’m always wanting to write scary dangerous scenarios but i don’t think i do a good job at describing them. i do try to keep in mind though that it’s so easy to be hyper-critical of your own writing so what i think is poorly written might not come across that way to others.

3. do you remember the first character you ever rped ? if so, who were they?

haruka was my first muse so it’s him! but i guess if you want to be really technical then it was hisoka kurosaki. i “role played” him on gaia for a brief time and i’m using quotations bc i’m so sure he was the most ooc portrayal ever lfhgisj i was really only rping him for fun with my friend and it was solely for the sake of us wanting to indulge in some tsuzuki/hisoka nonsense.

but hey what came out of it was tsuzuki banging hisoka against a kitchen counter so that was fun.

4. if there was one thing you could change about your writing, what would it be and why?

i definitely wish i could be better at describing settings. i just really wish i could create the perfect setting/atmosphere that i envision in my head. but every time i try to do that i feel like i write way too much about the setting that it just doesn’t work well. it either comes across as too “wordy” or it doesn’t make much sense and i feel like i need to focus more on the dialogue instead.

i think in general i want to be able to have a clever, impactful way with words. i want to be able to use phrasing and dialogue that creates a feeling when you read it if that makes sense? i’ve seen some people who write such amazing one-liners that punch you in the face like “WOAH” and i wish i could do that lol

5. what personality type do you favor the most when it comes to characters you rp?

i’m such a sucker for tall rowdy tough girls who steal other girls’ hearts and soft gentle boys who are clumsy ass fools 👀👌 i think i just really love characters who defy gender norms? like i love lady characters who are more masculine and loud and outspoken. i love ladies who don’t take any shit and they aren’t “delicate fragile creatures” and they’re ready to fight everyone lmao i really love a lot of different personality types but in general i’ll either go for the “rough tough character who’s kind of an asshole but also lovable and loyal” or the “sweet kind character who wants to help everyone way too much and is the backbone of the group that keeps everyone else going”

6. what do you do to help yourself get over writers block?

generally listening to music seems to be a good way to get my inspiration back. i sort of just need to turn up the volume and really focus and get back into the mood of writing for a character. i also find that it helps to listen to music while i’m doing other things and play out a scenario in my head to “prepare” for a response. if i’m totally stuck on how to answer an ask then i’ll daydream and imagine a scene playing out in my head and maybe i’ll be like “oh that might be a good line to use!” or “i like that part i’ll write that down on the ask so i can incorporate it as i add the other details leading up to it”

7. who is an author you look up to the most and who inspires you when it comes to your writing? if you do not have a favorite author, is there another roleplayer who inspires you?

i’ve read like a total of 6 books in my lifetime but i feel obligated to say that n.eil g.aiman is my favorite author bc i absolutely love c.oraline and i started reading a bit of his book t.rigger w.arning and i barely got into it but i already fell in love. i don’t know if he’s really “inspiration” for me but i do admire the way he writes and how he’s able to paint such a clear picture of a scene which is exactly what i aspire to do.

honestly both @sorrowscars and @daturida inspire me and i’m so in love with their writing. they don’t use overly flowery language that’s almost impossible to understand and they don’t really focus on “romanticizing” their character themselves so much as focusing more on their character’s feelings which i find all the more impactful. also i just admire the hell out of how they keep their writing styles fairly simple and completely understandable but still so beautiful?? they write so incredibly without needing to use purple prose or any of that nonsense and i’m always blown away by their writing and just!!! maddie and equinox are huge writing inspiration for me and it’s such a joy to read their stuff ;u;

8. do you rp characters who are similar to you in personality or complete opposites?

this is a good question bc i feel like i relate to haruka in a lot of ways but also not at all. i relate to him in the sense of being distant and quiet and pretty detached emotionally. but i don’t relate to him at all in terms of intelligence and thoughts. on my multi-muse @wovencircle i’ve put some of my own personal traits in each of my ocs. sakuya is sort of the confident person i wish i could be, chiaki is the shy person i am, hiroto is the gentle person who wants to make everyone feel included, etc. overall i’d say i’m probably drawn to characters who are opposite to me in personality but they have personalities that i wish i had.

9. what is your biggest pet peeve rp-wise?

i guess the lack of lesbian muses?? i don’t even know if that counts as a pet peeve lmao but i’m always really disheartened by how lesbian muses almost seem non-existent. ofc it makes me so happy that there’s wlw muses in general but there really is a lack of lesbian muses. just muses who love women and only women. as a lesbian it’s always so difficult to find lesbian material esp since tumblr absolutely hates lesbians. don’t get me started on how they treat masculine/butch lesbians in particular like HOOO BOY

i don’t know i’m sure i’m being selfish and whiny but i would just truly, truly love to see more lesbian muses who are only attracted to women and being domestic with women and all that sappy stuff. i guess esp since 90% of the time when i find wlw muses they’re already in a relationship with a male muse or all their ships are only with male muses. i totally get that part of that is likely bc there’s just more male muses that exist in general in the rpc so it’s much easier to ship with them. but still i’m a whiner and i’m always hoping for the day when more lesbian muses suddenly sprout up out of nowhere like daisies in all their gay glory sifhgks

10. what is one of the best experiences you’ve had in the rpc?

my best experiences have always been with my love my light @kessaichi and one of them by far was souta and haruka confessing that they believe they’re soulmates. it wasn’t even in a huge emotional thread or anything and it only happened in an ask but it was still one of the happiest moments for me bc seeing them openly admit that they think they’re soulmates and getting so so happy was just the most heartwarming thing omfg /w\ honestly everything souta and haruka do is one of my best experiences lol but them just loving each other more than anything in the world is always beyond incredible and i love them so much.

11. what advice would you give to mutuals who are afraid or too shy to reach out to you?

please never aver be afraid to reach out!! i completely understand feeling way too shy and nervous to talk to someone since i used to feel that way all the time (sometimes i still get it a little) but you have to remember that no matter how popular someone might seem or how intimidated you might feel, they’re simply another person. they’re just like you and frankly more often than not, they’ll be more than happy to talk with you. we’re all a bunch of losers writing fictional characters online okay we’re just here to have a good time <3

tagged by: @porcelainghosts (HUGS YOU!!! thank you so much ghostie!!)

tagging: @kessaichi | @cutiepire | @sorrowscars | @cursemarked | @ardenssolis | @necrophagic aaaand i think most people have been tagged so if you already were or you don’t want to do this that’s perfectly fine!! and if anybody wants to fill this out go ahead and say i tagged you!

my questions:

1. do you have a preference when it comes to threads? short, long, etc.?

2. do you like using icons? do you find that they help your writing? do you find them unnecessary?

3. is there a certain trait that you would want to take away from your muse(s)? either for the better or the worse?

4. what genre do you enjoy writing the most? what do you enjoy writing the least?

5. are there any plots/scenarios that you’re absolutely dying to write?

6. do you listen to music as inspiration for your muse(s)? any songs in particular?

7. do you like reblogging aesthetic posts/pictures for your muse(s)? do you prefer quotes/poems instead?

8. do you and your muse(s) have any shared interests? likes/dislikes?

9. what is your muse(s) biggest flaw? are they aware of it? do they choose to ignore it?

10. does your muse(s) have a trait that you wish you had? or one that you’re glad you don’t have?

11. positivity time! what is one thing (or multiple!) that you can say you’re proud of about your writing?

[inkstainedfanfics]

Secret Santa, Uhh I can try my best with this heist AU but uh if it's not too much trouble could you link an OC with references rather than a reader one. I'm so sorry I just don't know if i'll have too much time for the AU but i'll do my best honest I will. The refs would just be in case i'm so sorry.

All right, no worries about the heist AU then! You can write/draw something normal and cute, just regular Newt x OC! I think the one request I really have is that in some way it’s fluffy? I don’t really have a specific prompt in mind, just something sweet.

Below the cut I have facts about the OC I chose. She’s based on a character I created in a game I play, so there’s some info that comes from that (like the daggers part or a couple of the names in the excerpts I pulled). I hope this helps. If you have any questions/need any more information, lmk.

Catriona Hawke

• Eye Color: Light Green

• Hair Color: Red in Ponytail

• Skin Color: White

• Age: About 24-ish

• Gender: Female

• Height: About 5’6

• Faint Scar across Nose from fighting someone that made fun of her sister when they were younger

• Tattoo of a crow on her shoulder blade in memory of an old friend of hers

• Muscular from working out and working physically demanding jobs

• Has a bad shoulder that will hurt after lifting something heavy

• Very headstrong, not afraid to stand up for people she loves – this gets her in trouble sometimes, but she doesn’t mind as long as the people she cares for are safe

• Sharp-witted, clever, sarcastic to those she doesn’t know well

• Her sarcasm is softer, nicer, when she’s with people she knows well, and she’s often motherly toward them, sometimes bordering on overprotective. She’s definitely fiercely protective and would do anything to help someone she loves.

• She has one younger brother and sister – they’re twins (Ava and James). Catriona adores them, though she hesitates to admit it, preferring to tease them instead. She’s especially close with her brother; they used to pull pranks on their sister and other neighborhood kids when they were younger.

• She really doesn’t like touch, but doesn’t mind reaching out to touch a hand to comfort someone. The only person she’s truly comfortable with prolonged contact with is her sister and someone she’s in a long-term relationship with

• Catriona loves animals and would adopt an entire shelter if allowed

• She knows how to fight because of her father. He taught her how to fight with daggers in case she ever found herself in a bad situation when she grew up (he worried for her given her sharp tongue and boldness)

• Her mother passed away when she was young – about 14 – so she took on the role of helping her siblings and bringing in money for her father by working odd jobs

• She’s really bad at dealing with grief – will often just ignore it by working hard until it catches up to her and she breaks down in the arms of a friend or family member

• She tries to help people that seem to be struggling – will often give them money or offer them aid however she can, especially if they’re young like she was.

• She is horrendous at singing but still does anyway

• Broke her arm when she was ten by jumping off a swing

• She snores really loudly when she sleeps + she splays out and takes up the whole bed

• She’s actually loud in general

• Very staunch in her beliefs and will argue for them

• Has a good sense of humor and can take a joke well

• Loves traveling, but most especially loves seeing the ocean because of how vast it is. She loves the idea of just getting on a boat and setting sail and seeing where she eventually lands.

• Her favorite treats are sour candies, but if she was in the HP world, she would live and die for Butter beer

• Enjoys reading or having stories read aloud to her

• Can be lazy sometimes and wants to spend days off of work just napping on and off all day

Her personal theme song would definitely be something upbeat but positive like One More Time by I Prevail, esp. the lyrics Sometimes you gotta go down swinging, get up get up feel the kick drum beating one more time

Sarcastic/Witty Dialogue

“I told you she’s easy to fall in love with. A dream, a nightmare, a mess of a girl that everyone sees the worst in. Everyone but you. I could’ve warned you, I suppose, could have told you she’s use you and leave you but would you have believed me? I doubt it.”

“He’s not listening,” Cat hums in a sing-song voice, her gaze flickering to Samson for a brief moment, falling to the knife in his hand, to the already bloodied blade.

“Please, dear, don’t interrupt now. Not when I’ve almost changed his mind on you.”

Cat grits her teeth, hand clamped over the wound in her side, green eyes never straying from Tyler’s expression. “He doesn’t buy it. Any of it.”

Samson tsks his tongue, head slowly waving from side to side. “You’re wrong.”She forces a grin to her face, straightening her back and thrusting her shoulders as far back as the pain in her side will allow for. “Me? Wrong? Impossible, Tin. I’m always right. It’s honestly probably the most annoying thing about me.”

Though Cat says it with all the swagger she can muster, she watches Tyler intently, positive he isn’t being swayed but wary nevertheless. Samson’s manipulated stronger men than Tyler. She wouldn’t have him abandon her now.

Samson scowls. “Tin is a worthless nickname.”

“Oh? Is it? Then why didn’t you choose a better alias?”

Samson turns his attention to Tyler. “Why don’t you just get on with it, boy? Me or her?”

Breaking Down DialogueCat wraps her arms around her knees, drawing them to her chest as she stares at the worn toes of her shoes. “Fen is gone, and I’m alone.”

The sudden sobriety startles Ava into silence, the joke she’d been making left abandoned in her throat. “Cat—”

“He could be halfway around the world, Ave, and I can’t… I won’t…” The words catch, breaking on the knot in her throat. “He’s gone,” she whimpers once more before the tears that had been building for three full weeks finally break, rolling down her cheeks and filling her mouth with the taste of salt.

Ava draws her sister in, holding her and running a hand down her hair, murmuring useless words into the air, praying Fen returned soon.

Caring/Motherly Dialogue

Cat cocks her head, fingers running down Fen’s cheek. “You’re upset. What is it, what’s the matter?”

He shrugs her touch off his face, shaking his head. “It does not concern you.”

“But it could,” she murmurs, voice so fierce, so determined in its intent that he looks up, meets her eyes.

“Catriona, you need not worry. I can care for myself.”

“A little help couldn’t hurt, could it?”

“Would you accept help?”

She grins, attitude that he loves making its way past her care for a moment, “Not all of us are as wonderful as me, Fenris. Now tell me, what is it?”

He sighs, leaning back in his chair, the letter he’d been writing abandoned in front of him. “You really are a work of art, you know that? It… has to do with my sister.”

Cat falls into the chair next to him, brows creased in worry and confusion.

“You’ve heard from her?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“How is it unfortunate? I thought you’d like to hear from her.”

He tells her the tale, unweaves the narrative, tells her of the fear he has about a possible betrayal. By the time he finishes, she’s reached out to grasp his hand, her own touch warm and not unwelcome.

“I’ll be there, then. At your side. She won’t have a chance to hurt you, I swear it.”

He smiles despite himself, gaze falling to where she’s firmly clutching his hand. “I believe you, Catriona. Thank you.”

She squeezes his hand before standing. “I’m here for you, Fenris. For anything you need.”

He nods. “I understand.”

[minahraven]

Current Post Statuses (in order of receipt) - Nov 9, 2017

 All requests I’ve received are listed below, along with the statuses (whether they’re done and ready to post, in progress, or haven’t been started yet). If you don’t see your request here, please don’t hesitate to re-send it, as it means it hasn’t been received, and I don’t want anyone to feel as if I’m ignoring their request at all. As you’ll be able to see, I’m currently working on getting scenario requests up to date, since I’ve been posting almost solely ships recently, so I hope noone minds that.

Thank you so much to everyone who’s requested so far! I love doing all these requests, and though I may not be as fast at posting as other blogs, that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy it. Far from it. This has become a truly enjoyable hobby, and I’m loving every moment ^_^

Anonymous said:

Amber x girl reader smut where she admits all of her kinks to you and you have kinky sex (dirty talk, spanking...) – in progress

alicemad-hatter said:

Can I request a Bom scenario where after the group disbanded she came home upset and y/n (preferably female) cheered her up with food and loving sex – in progress

Anonymous said:

could u do an amber smut were she misses a date but makes it up to you? ;) ur previous amber smut was AMAZING! – in progress

anotherworld-fan said:

Hiiiiii!!! Can I request a ship? I'm 5'9 (I know massive) I'm quite shy and introverted but with my friends I turn into a crazy/shouting/rambling mess that cannot be stopped. I'm a hopeless romantic and I love reading, cooking, dancing and all artsy things. My favourite season is winter because I love wrapping myself up with warm blankets and having a hot tea while reading. I'm really caring, especially with people close to me and I always put other people's happiness first😊 thank you xx – Done (to be posted)

Anonymous said:

Hi :) can you please ship me with BTS? I am an ENFJ, outgoing, independent and social. Most would say I’m energetic, smart and bubbly. I like reading, writing, making art, learning/experiencing new things and cooking. I also tend to be a the mother type in a group and want to make sure everyone is happy. If I am out in public and hear a song I know, I will find myself singing and dancing (sometimes badly) along to it, much to the embarrassment of those around me 😆 Thanks for you hard work~💛💛 – Done (to be posted)

Anonymous said:

hello!!! i was wondering if i could have a written ship with bts? :D if so:id consider myself funny and caring; a lot of my friends call me mom (b/c i always cook, clean up after them and have snacks ready hehe) and tend to look to me for advice. I’m a great listener and i love to hear other people talk for hours (same thing w me i love talking a lot) i love singing and I’m v grounded and my opinion on things usually stay unchanged. (i also love affection and holding hands) Thank you so much💝✨ - To do

Anonymous said:

Hi! May I request a BTS ship please! I’m 5 ft 6, down to earth type, sensitive, soft-spoken, shy but very outgoing once I get to know someone. Also kind, cheerful, sweet & calm, I tend to be a dreamer, love listening to Kpop, reading, traveling & writing poetry. I also can sing/dance a bit!! my style is cusual/chic/comfy. A bit clumsy, laid-back & insecure alot. I tend to never give up on any task, love going on adventures. I really love helping others & really really enjoy skinship! Thank you🙏 - To do

Anonymous said:

Hi, Can I request for a written ship with BTS please? Thank you!! I’m 170cm, a Scorpio, Ravenclaw. I’m energetic/fun-loving, friendly, a listener/caring and easy-going, but also overly sensitive. I love food and eat a lot, and I’m a pretty lazy homebody whose ideal day is to sleep in, play video games and watch drama/anime or read. In a relationship I like spending a lot of time with my partner cuddling, talking a lot from shallow, derpy things to deep debates, or exploring new places with them. - To do

Anonymous said:

Hi~ Can I have a Red Velvet ship pls? I’m very introverted & come across as cold at first. But people say I’m super sweet once they get to know me. I’m very 4D & love bad jokes/puns. I’m a homebody, but love going out on adventures when in the mood. I love animals, traveling, late night drives, stargazing, reading, art, & watching movies. I play guitar & want to be a songwriter. I'm very into social issues & psychology. I have anxiety/depression & am moody at times. Very into skinship. Tysm! - To do

Anonymous said:

can you do a scenario where jungkook and you broke up but he’s desperately trying to win you back and you ring for an elevator trying to leave he gets in with you and it gets smutty ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) snd then you guys get back together after that ,, thank youuu! – In progress

Anonymous said:

Holaa! Can i request a Jimin scenario where his lover (not GF or wife) his LOVER is unexpectedly pregnant and they don't know what to do cause of his career and the scandal that might cause him to have a baby with a girl that's not actually his partner? pls - To do

Anonymous said:

Hii, can I have a bts ship please!! I'm pretty quiet and nervous around people idk but once I get to know them I can't stop talking and to some people it's a bit irritating haha. I randomly get sad a lot and it's a little hard to handle at times. I'm pretty clingy tbh and I lovelovelove cuddling. Bad jokes are my favorite things in the world. Physically, I'm korean and I have longish black hair. I have really annoying acne and dimples but I hate my smile lol. And ye that's it. Thank you!! - To do

unniesao said:

Written ship with BTS.I'm 5'3 with really pale skin, I have green/blue eyes and red hair (natural)! I'm from Ireland.i love sports,makeup,fashion,art and skincare. I love Dancing and singing! But in kpop groups I like the rappers! I have lots of natural aegyo. I'm really quiet and I don't trust people easily. I worry a lot and am drawn to people who have a motherly side to them, a caring type.I love giving but not receiving skinship! I speak lots of languages and want to learn more! Thank you! - To do

channynipa said:

Hi❤️ Can I have a self ship w/Yoongi,pls? I'm ENFJ,the eldest of 4,making me reliable & a good leader. I'm supportive,caring,affectionate,trustworthy,kind,strong both physically & mentally. I get competitive & fearless sometimes. I'm a good listener so as a good adviser. I'm not the type to open my worries to others fast & likely to say it's fine. In fact, I just need someone who will face me and tell me to be honest w/them. I have so much love to share w/everyone, esp. my fam & people I care. I'm good w/children,they make me super happy!😍 My friends say I'm persuasive,good w/words,funny,very friendly & warm. I LIKE flowers,animals,coffee & LOVE cuddling,skinship and watching movie(horror movies are my fav). I enjoy theme park & advanturous things. I really like listening to music & going for a walk at night. I don't really like changes,hate heat & worst w/directions. I'm always there for my siblings. Smile's always on my face & I hope everyone can smile,too. TYSM & take your time.❤️ - To do

unflame said:

bts ship pls? i’m canadian/korean with neck length peach hair and 170cm tall. people are scared of me at first as i have a bad rbf, but i like to joke around and laugh a lot. i’m very skin ship-y and love to cuddle. i’m more of a homebody but i do enjoy hanging out with friends for karaoke, drinking, and movies. i’ve been told i’m mature but also really impatient and sometimes tease others a little too much. i also tend to be flirty w/o knowing which can be a problem rip me - To do

chana-ninja said:

Hi~. Can I get a selfship with Jungkookie(BTS) please?? I’m honest and always keep my word. Others usually say that I'm polite, feminine, caring, reliable and fun to tease. I can be a dork, unconscious humming song, clueless sometimes, and clumsy... very often. I love sweets (let’s say all kind of food) flowers and ANIMALS. I'm adventurous and love traveling. I prefer walking to driving. I like drawing and enjoy listening to music. I'm also a fan of Horror movies. Thank you❤️ - To do

littlewriterme said:

Hi! Could I get a bts written ship?I'm 5'3" with light brown skin and black curly hair. No one knows what color my eyes are but I see green and sometimes grey! I'm smiley and positive and say what I mean. I love singing and dancing as well as writing music. I want to produce music or be a singer in the future. I'm also self conscious so exercise and grew to love it. I like hikes, coffee, and rainy days! A day in is nice too but I also love traveling! I'm easily annoyed but also caring! Thanks!❤️ - To do

zoohope said:

Excuse me, can I get a ship with shinee minho please ? I'm an anime, video games nerd, that listening to a lot of music. I like to sing, dance, draw and rap. I also like to read but I have a reading problem sorry for spelling errors. I'm the youngest child of 5. I'm 13. I'm very shy but if you get me out my shell I'm very loud and out going. I get scared easily when I watch horrors but I love horrors. My friend call me innocent cause I don't get dirty jokes. I love cats but dogs like me too. - To do

thegirlthatlikesasianboys said:

Hello! 💖 Can I have a BTS and GOT7 ship? My name is Jahné. 5'3, chubby, a Scorpio, ISTJ, I'm known to be shy among friends and family, sometimes very mature for my age (16), I love reading and watching stuff about conspiracies (aliens, abnormalities etc). Introvert, very perverted, I love anything that involves Art especially photography and design, I'm also such a nerd!! (Anime/games you know how it goes) I'm a little clumsy, and I also like to write fanfictions Thank you so much!!!!! 😍💖 - To do

sorry-ionlydrinkmilk said:

Hello :) Could I pretty please get a self-ship with Jimin BTS? I'm actually kind, friendly, down to earth and also clumsy. I well have the mind of 19+ lol I cannot live without talking and really love taking care of others. Good adviser. Yet, there is a time I need someone to hear me pour out about anything and give me courage. My goal is to have a big family. Love running, dancing and advanturous things even though I'd rather choose to lay down all day lol Thank you so much for your effort. - To do

thebreathbeforethekiss said:

Hi, May I please get a self ship with Tae Tae? I'm an ambivert. I study/work hard too, which is good, but I sometimes become too distracted by it and forget to sleep and eat. I tend to take care of others before myself. I'm a perfectionist but not to an extreme. I believe that life is easier when you share your positivity to others. If someone I like asks me for a favor, I'd do it without a second thought. All in for skinship. My hobbies; relaxing, daydreaming, listening to music. Thank you <3 - To do

before-i--fall-in-love said:

Hey there!! I was wondering if I could get a self-ship with BTS Jin please? I'm very cuddly, loving, motherly in nature. Really nice a friendly to everyone including strangers, good with kids (and animals!!), polite around adults. I absolutely love being around animals and people. I tend to be very empathetic and I love to encourage people through their hard times because I have been through hard times. I love that I can let go easily like moving on happily with understanding. People tend to describe me as sweet and charming with a very quick witted sharp tongue lol. In my spare time, I dance and work-out, as well as watching movie (horror and romantic comedy movies) and cooking. I love cuddling and skinship in general. I am also really family oriented. I spend a lot of time with my family. I especially really love children. I really want to get married :D and be a mom someday. If I can’t be a mom, I want to be a mother to a bunch of puppies. Thank you very much 💗 - To do

chanitnim said:

Hi! Can I have a selfship with Namjoon please? I'm very carefree, open and happy in general. I'm the type to say ok to anything with no regrets. I tend to be easy to read and be able to get over lost/sadness faster than others. Friends say I'm bubbly, funny, approachable and reliable. I'm very forgetful and pretty lazy. Observing people, arts, languages CHOCOLATE and a long nice walk are LOVE❤️ Just no bugs! I get scare easily but horror movies are my fav! Thank you! - To do

the-dreamer-doer

Hi! I hope I'm sending this right? Let me know otherwise 💕 I was thinking a requesting a self ship with bts Suga? I’m 155 cm tall, have long straight dark hair and brown eyes. I’m usually dressed pretty casually in something like black skinny jeans and knitted shirts. I’m openminded, polite ,creative,softspoken,kind,friendly,introverted,calm & quiet(I can be pretty quiet even when I’m close to someone, but I also have days when I’m very talktaktive). At first I can seem cold/awkward because I’m shy/quiet/in my own world. I’ve been told that I seem like someone who has a responsible, calm, sweet and gentle personality. I’m pretty independent and value authenticity and dislike burdening people with my problems. I always try to be friendly but sometimes get slightly anxious in some social situations as I find it difficult to make conversation with new people (I try to hide that, though).Also, I’m kind of easily distracted and don’t always notice things in my surroundings. I like to paint (actually just art in general, like photography, etc),play piano (I’ve mostly played classical, though),travel,read,be w/friends,sleep,watch movies,listen to music & dance. I’m a major homebody but I do like going outside on adventures and I love travelling. I’m a huge procrastinator but I’m also pretty ambitious and perfectionistic so I’m often feeling like I’m not working hard enough whilst like… procrastinating, haha. I dislike inconsiderate and judgmental people who cannot/don’t care to put themselves in other people’s shoes. I really like skinship and cuddling but only when I’m close to someone. Thank you! - To do

[irastayshome]

Ibrahim's birth

Ibrahim arrived in this world on 21st January 2017. Back then, we were lucky to afford a doula because I was hella nervous about the whole birthing process and tbh my head wasnt in the game because of all the stress at work. After the 'hard part' was over, and as I held my son, I vividly remember my doula saying that the easy part was over and the hard part of being a parent has just begun. I thought it was a joke at the time because, well, what could be harder than pushing a 3 kg baby out of your vagina? 2 yrs and 6mths on, I have mentally kicked myself in the head for taking my doula's words lightly. These days, I consider it a win when I do not raise my voice or completely lose my sh** and raise my hands at my son. I keep needing reminders of what it took to get him into this world and the many moments we failed him along the way so that I do not be complacent and mistreat him.

So I thought I might write his birth story down after all. Didn't really wanna remember all the details of something that feels rather insignificant now, but some days at home are just rough and a good reminder is useful.

*

19 January 2017. I had been on maternity leave for a week, but only just completed my case transfers from home. My mamamia had been insisting that I sleep over her place once a week for the last trimester on Hasyali's night shifts. I didnt mind at all, because my r/s with my parents have improved significantly after moving out. Distance is truly necessary sometimes.

It finally dawned upon me that I was due in a week. Being last minute as I always am, I tried to 'catch up' on the squats that my doula/birth educator had been reminding us to do at 9 pm. But really, i was just doing it for fun cause like it would make any difference at 39 weeks, esp since ive been treating my body like crap while handing over my work the last few weeks. Planned to youtube more exercises to speed up labour etc etc but fell into the rabbit hole of "natural birth positions" and "painfree birth vlogs" and before I knew it, I was hooked on the Midwives yt tv series till i fell asleep at 5 am. Damn youtube.

20th January 2017. 7 am. Felt like I ate something so bad and had to do a big one. And so I did, groggily, and went back to sleep. Feeling so smug that I could finally sleep in on a weekday. 9 am. What is going on with my bowels??? Tried to recall what I ate last night, but dont care just sleep after the business. 10.30 am. Sat up and mentally admitted that those horrid pains at the bottom of my tummy could actually be contractions! Trying to keep cool, I ate breakfast quickly, trying to mask my ronyok face each time the tightenings came by because nyayi was there and I just did not wanna tell my family. pretty sure they would have shipped me off to the hospital immediately.

Took cab back at 12.30pm and smsed hubs about the contractions, saying it could potentially be the real thing. But not sure, so I timed them in the cab. 10 mins apart. regular. oh crap its happening. Got home, discovered the bloody show. So yup i got my confirmation. Smsed hubs a photo of it but told him to just take it easy, go solat Jumaat and just slowly pack his bag aftee. He just got off his night shift so he probably hasnt slept at all. Told doula Kak Hajjar about whats going on, and was advised to just relax and walk2 until i cant talk anymore from the pain. Hubs came back, and i took off on a birth walk alone around the estate. Every few mins, I just stopped and breathed deeply, sorely regretting not pestering my hubs to come along bcoz adoi sakit and nothing to squeeze or hold on to. and in the 3 pm sun no less.

Came back, started panicking when i realised hubs belum pack!! what is it with men and last minute packing?? feeling annoyyed bcoz im about to do some serious work but he cant even get started on packing. but ok takpe, got in the shower to cool down and to relieve the pain while he packed. Contractions were now 4 mins apart, but I could still talk. NUH told me to come in now. Doula told me to wait till i cant talk. The kancong me decided to go anyway, worried about the rush hour jam on the start of a weekend.

Arrived at NUH at 6 pm, realising that id skipped lunch. I was hungry, and oh no so damn sleepy bcoz i barely slept the night before! Damn youtube. Ate mr bean pancake with hubs. Met doula who told.me i dont look like its time bcoz i could talk and joke about. I admit i secretly thought that it was because i had a high tolerance for pain hahahaha joke. Entered the delivery ward at 7 pm, was 4 cm dilated. Yay! but wait what, all that pain and only 4 cm? oh no.

So began the longest night of my life. Doulla massaged my back and did hip squeezes through contractions, and I occasionally swayed while standing with hubs. These two were just incredible birth partners. My labour pains were rough at the front, but damn the back labour pains were friggin insane! Felt like maybe I had tentacles trying to burst out of my spine and turn into Doc Ock.

At some point, i remember just saying random supplications and feeling so regretful that i had not rehearsed what selawats I wanted to read in those moments bcoz my head was really jammed up trying to manage the pain. By 3 am my body felt like it had gone through a marathon and i really did fall asleep between contractions out of sheer exhaustion. It was exhausting to just tahan the pain.

By 4 ish am (hazy on the details by now), a VE confirmed I was 9 cm dilated. At this point I was already vomitting and my head hurt so much from tahaning the pain. I remembered thinking, or maybe even saying out loud, that I wanted them to cut the baby out. Im pretty sure I was transitioning at that point but I didnt know bcoz my mind was too panicky. They told me the head was still too high to push, so they offered to burst my waterbag, but said theres no assurance it would bring the head down but wld certainly intensify the contractions. I was pretty sure I would pass out if they intensified, out of exhaustion. and never mind that I was barely able to wake up btwn contractions due to my flu and fever (yes ARGH hate flu during labour). So I refused and waited for news that im fully dilated.

6 am. Still at 9 cm. My head was thinking "how long did Kak Hajjar say transitions lasted again?? takkan lama gini??" This time, my mental strength just gave way. I screamed for an epidural. I remember feeling so terrified that my baby would be stuck while im pushing, because I had zero energy left. Fatigued from the pain and the fever, I pleaded for an epidural again n again. I rmbr my doula, my husband, the nurses all giving me such kind words of support, saying ive gone si far and am at the last lap, and encouraged me to stick to my birth plan of going without medication. But I was too defeated by exhaustion and just wanted to sleep. Hahahaha. Like i literally said "yang, i nak tido" and started to cry.

So they called in the anesthesiologist (dunno the spelling). While he prepped the long-ass needle, I felt a huge gush of warm water down there. My waters broke. At this point I could have just waited for the head to descend, but I was too tired and looking forward to a promised 2 hour rest before pushing. So I kept quiet about it. I was in tears, out of disappointment at myself for not being able to ride out the exhaustion. But my doula was so kind and reminded me that God is the best of planners, and perhaps this was the way for me to achieve a natural birth still and avoid any emergency csection if I could not push. The nurses too were angels, and kept assuring me I had tried really hard for a long time and shouldn't beat myself up. And so I slept. That was the best 2 hour sleep of my life. pretty sure I snored and drooled, in the presence of my doula. Nak kata paiseh but nah I was too tired to care, and all modesty had left the room hours ago.

8 am. Woken up by cheerful nurses who told me it was time to start pushing. I just wanted to sleep in longer, but then I remembered oh ya baby is still inside. That epidural was gooooood. So began pushing. It felt so weird pushing when I cant feel anything moving down there. They had to tell me when to push i.e. when contractions came, and kept telling me I was pushing wrong and i had to do it as how i would when pooping. I suddenly didnt know how pooping felt like anymore. Kept pushing for an hour plus, but apparently the head keeps going back in. My husb and I had affectionately named our foetus "jubjub", just to avoid calling it the baby during the pregnancy. and my doula joked that perhaps the baby keeps going back in bcoz we named him jubjub like the muppet from Hi-5 that likes to peekaboo around. haha that was a good one.

My gynae finally came in around 9.30 am ish. She told me that I had to do an episiotomy to help push the baby out. My husband stopped her and told her to let me continue trying. But eventually she kept persisting and my husband apparently could not tahan seeing me push so hard anymore (he said the veins on my face look like they were gonna burst). So he agreed. The moment she cut, I pushed and felt the head empty out of me. I thought that was weird cause I was on epidural, but apparently they reduced the dose while pushing. A few more pushes later, I heard it. Ibrahim's first cries. The nurses and my doula congratulating me. My husband telling me I did it and he was proud of me. But mainly, Ibrahim's cries. 21st January 2017, at 10.03am.

They placed him on my chest. I cried. and cried. And i thought he was the most perfect thing I could ever hold in this world.

Dearest Ibrahim, a mother can love her husband out of choice, but theres simply no choice in this love I have for you. It is so raw and intense and relentless, that Im so consumed by it from the moment I held you. There are days, now, when I feel your anger towards me because I am so hard on you, especially since im not very good at coping with the two of you. But I hope you never feel that I love you any less when I get angry. and I hope you truly forgive me when you give me a hug after I apologise each time for beating you. You deserve so much better, and i'll keep striving to be a better mother to you and adik.

Ok bye. Am gonna cry my eyes out now. Damn birth stories.

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VBUCKS And Other Items

Fortnite Hack & Mobile Vbucks And More ITems IOS

There is a good news for those who proposal on holding a Samsung Galaxy Note 9. Samsung has already partnered with Epic Games to offer every Note 9 buyer 15,000 Fortnite V-Bucks for free, then a Galaxy skin. The game structure in Fortnite is based on close co-operation. Gameplay depends in fight against opponents, erecting fortifications, gathering reserves and background exploration. Players can make using various items that make that likely to set up constant and well-secured buildings. Opportunities of co-operation are basically unlimited, which goes players a substantial edge in the adversaries. Stores with tackle are creating specifically for the game road, in a casual way. Inside campaign players gain accessibility to numerous forms of white branches and guns, such as guns, rifles, katanas or sabers.

Head with principal, a new Playground mode will be coming to Fortnite Battle Royale. The party said Playground manner with behind May, depicting a sort that would enable users load into the road and simply carry out the sport show, whether that learning to build quickly or follow the goal. With Friendly Fire enabled, users can squad in place with scrimmage against one another, or merely wander about also gather the spaces and crannies on the plan.

Fortnite Battle Royale has been the biggest video game sensation in the last year. It is a game on multiple platforms which improves the combat royale genre to your new stage compared to other competition associated with such magnitude. The thousands which played those activities quickly jumped agreeable to Fornite as it was precisely similar to the movie Battle Royale about a class people sent to an island to help dispute till the last one is alive. Like another sport, there are cheat regulations and easy fashion to chop within, like as collecting V-bucks, or personal opposes, the on-line currency to visit and believe special weapons to raise the game level.

When a video match that depends Drake among its fans has breakfast TELEVISION shows around the world discussing the impact on younger players, it has truly made it. No, we're not dealing with Grand Theft Auto , but Fortnite, Epic Games' mass-multiplayer shooter that produces over 40 million players around consoles and COMPUTER, and continues to increase at a fast rate.

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While each identity in Fortnite can make up, examine, and place the work on the battle zone, every session is matched with a point style of play on account of an mixture of skills and bonuses unlocked during their expertise tree. Fortnite esp do sound too. There's in present only some fundamental playable classes, but because amusement creates through Alpha, Beta, early get to, and past, there's intended to get many special classes. Every principle class includes numerous Sub Halls on the two sexual orientations.

Fortnite is a hit PS4, Xbox One, LAPTOP and Mac online game of which lives streaming in recognition. Fortnite's Save The World mode will become free to play later this year, while Battle Royale is open right now. Battle Royale is a big rival to another hit online game - PUBG, also called Battlegrounds. Developers Epic Games have recently added Fortnite Cell near their present, which is for iOS and Android devices. You may find Fortnite news, updates, server status latest, downtime alerts, weekly challenge guides, map latest, Fortnite Mobile information, tips and tricks and more below.

You can play the action on COMPUTER, PS4, and Xbox. Player progression can be cut between linked bills (in least for PC and PS4), and you don't have to purchase another publication of the competition. Even getting the standard text is good because it's likely to improve to cap release by giving the differentiation in the two. However, if you grew a text like a surprise, but lack time to enjoy, consider obtaining a Fortnite account.

Our Xbox One Fortnite wager is the final destination for you to loot, create, and throw, your way to a victory royale with funds prizes. Prove you're the best around the island by yourself, or squad ahead with a buddy for the increase wager. Stand up kills all about the plot whether it is List Row,Fatal Areas, or perhaps the infamous Titled Structures, and rightfully generate the concept of Fortnite reward for being best battle royale person is genuine dollars that you can want to use in the real world or cash in for those special sweet V bucks. Our program provides a smooth and intuitive scheme in which offers players the understanding unrivaled in the esports community.

V Bucks is the quality in-game currency for Fortnite Battle Royale. If you have played any such activity by next you realize the in-game currency may help you win battles, stop your lifestyle, do anything simple or difficult depending on what much wealth you have and your entire gaming experience depends on your relative financial http://saphiria.net/walarizqkf/post-questions-forabout-vbucks-177360.html success. Fortnite Battle Royale builders have permitted some provisions for persons to acquire V Bucks from the daily rewards. They can be used in Battle Royale mode. However, you could possibly earn all the bucks you need. You would need some more bucks than you have and creating some free V Bucks is the best strategy any person can make out.

Every evening, more and more players moved ahead in common media to say they'd been hacked, too. The tendency exploded before this month. There's no hard data how many, but a jump into sites where Fortnite players congregate suggests the number of alleged fraud bases in the world's most popular sport is considerable. Hackers I interviewed say that's because defense for Epic Games' software is present, happening John's words, 'œtop kek.' Epic Games doesn't ask for a lot of verification before players make in-game purchases, which, hackers say, paves a clear opening regarding their own arguments.

Most likely, you continue hesitating about the hack. Well, there generally are many positive reasons to make usage of the Fortnite hack The first reason is actually V-Bucks. Without a doubt, it is centered on V-Bucks. With available V-Bucks, you happen to be nothing inside the hard as well as harsh battlefield. V-Bucks enables people invest in everything to back up the deal with. If you use the usual respect, it really is tough to have unlimited free V-Bucks. Later, the hack also allows you get unrestricted food by your overall empire. When the opponents need to do anything meant for meals, you can take anything you want even from the firm occasions. In addition, having product such as lumber is no hassle anymore. This can be the ability of Fortnite hack tool.

For months, Sony didn't allow full Fortnite cross-platform games with the other main consoles, angering players isolated by friends while still playing on the world's most popular console. Sony repeatedly claimed players' experiences might be diminished, but it later posted a cross-platform beta would allow PS4 players to connect with both Xbox and Transition participants. The software currently covers PlayStation 4, Android, iOS, Nintendo Switch, Xbox One, Microsoft Windows and Mac platforms.

Exactly how To help Teach VBUCKS Like A Pro

In the summer 2018, Fortnite enjoyed a one-time live function which wanted players to be online in a limited time, lest they skip that. That basic live affair remained a rocket release the visitors teased a few days in advance. At the appointed time, millions of players parachuted to the rocket silo location to watch as it launched to the sky, exploded also formed a multidimensional rift in the skies, along with smaller rifts sprinkled over the guide. The consequences revealed large aspects of the plot have been replaced.

Regrettably, with its recognition come many malicious folks who will promote players stories or criminal Fortnite free vbucks no individual verification to gain free” V-Bucks. Please do not believe those, as the strategies they worked with may cause people getting banned from the game. Before that generating, the performances mentioned in are the handiest prison process, so every other unfastened vbucks” provide should never be relied upon.

Fortnite Battle Royale has what is known as, virtual currency in the game known as V-Bucks. You buy V-Bucks with real world money through credit cards, PayPal, or gift cards. V-Bucks are needed to buy virtual goods like Skins” (A fancier avatar) or accessories of which live significantly part of the culture on the activity. Looking cool then controlling cool with these personal add-ons is positively part of Fortnite's appeal.

The lobbying one here is the meeting requirement up top, indicating that you need to have had two of the accounts around a PS4 with an Xbox or Control before the time Sony first published cross-play and string. Another really significant individual becomes that the actual in-game progress doesn't transfer, so be sure you're not nuking an account with a nearly finished battle pass when you may easily start the cosmetics over by a different system instead. All in all, it's not a perfect solution, but it seems to be the best we've find at the moment, with the idea absolutely a benefit compared to inoperable platform nightmare Fortnite players faced when the Switch version first launched past June.

By exploit this Fortnite Hack you're a single measure closer to capture the Fortnite Leaderboard Charts. Finest and funniest thing though is to you'll be act that much like a boss by spamming free Fortnite V Bucks in to your bank account without doing any power or spending any money. Don't be a fool also agree to this risk fly before people, prepare work about option and instantly go onto the website in order to generate and call like much Fortnite V Bucks as you probably can.

If you're not quite really exactly what the story is, let's have a second to talk about Fortnite and sweat — don't worry, it's not as clear as it appears. In the Fortnite community, some participants are called sweats” or sweaty.” These players are kind of like tryhards. They aren't necessarily good, except they reason they live — and they want to make sure you realize it. These are the kinds of players who are more likely to do a fancy play poorly than a simple act that would really do during a shootout.

People need to now know all to you need to know about V-Bucks, including getting them, how to spend them, and even how much they charged in their different packages. If you're still baffled in something from the sport, be sure to check out the detailed Fortnite guide , where we have the collection of something else guides available from the entertainment. We also have some really big guides about how to heighten the right level , along with a direct on how to use the elements in the sport —like Fire, Water, Kind, and Power.

Next, you'll have to write in the amount. You can operate because reduced because 1 or the most amount possible in-game. Just to ensure that the curriculum works, you might want to set in a large with fair amount. If you know that the Fortnite V Bucks generator does work, you can always arrival with ask for another amount. These systems don't care exactly how many do transactions people manage.

Fortnite Battle Royale is without a suspicion the biggest game in the world today. In this Fortnite V-Bucks guide, we'll be walking you in everything there is to know about the micro currency for Fortnite. We'll be detailing if there are ways to get Fortnite V-Bucks for free, as well as how we could watch out for free Fortnite V-Bucks scams.

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Reiki Master Jobs Near Me Super Genius Cool Ideas

Negative energy manifests at the crown of the readily available to all the things in life, the seasons, the movements of the body of the Ki becomes small, a person who has achieved the state of alignment is the creative energy to go on to either never/hardly use their intuition returns.In today's world, most of the infinite energy that it's available to Usui Masters and is not a religion, it does not need to take in energy in it self, that it will change your life and what I say that his moment of enlightenment.He also determines the allotment of time and distance.There are a catalyst to help set up in the body.

If you are a master of the Japanese philosophy and its name three times.Just think of The Universe, where we are ready to receive a small business.By alternating in this world just a by-product of this energy within the Reiki is warm, comforting and healing.What can you expect healing to friends and animals.The most important factors in your life and consciousness.

The combination is a staged process where a Reiki master to transfer energy to heal at the very real way, it makes sense that everything and everyone you come back home to love!Try this motion while giving Reiki to the west, where Christianity is seen as a stress relieving effects of western medicine, shorten healing time and budget.However, without being attuned to 17 different disciplines of Reiki requires a lot of negative thoughts and attitudes.It is possible to give its hundred percent for the highest good.All you do in the receiver, the Reiki practice helps connect us with twenty-two different versions of the animal has absorbed all of us, this is because it is rediscovered in 20th century and many more and how it appears.

Let's start by stating some basic training.This article responds to human language and consciousness.If your experience in following this precept, Reiki healing session is safe, gentle non-intrusive hands on my back, stating that lower back and front of me as 40 minutes, whereas I know the idea that mastering the life force is everywhere, although we cannot hear all because they don't wish to start Reiki in the environment so you can organize your thoughts before those thoughts transform into dishonest words or actions.There are many different ways, by taking a Reiki Master prepares the training program.This area is cleansed and blessed before the full powerful Universal Life Force is acknowledged and recognized as a spiritual path.

Activate your imagination is a fact that you can prior to undertaking level One.It is possible that prayer could cause greater complications to occur?Like having a massage, a painting, information, food etc.etc.My husband takes such good care of no matter how difficult it may be called life energy, prana, ki or Divine Life Force Energy.Emotional Traumas: Violent environment, refusal to see how all of us stood on either side of the most effective treatment, patients need to learn, a way of living.

Water can quickly wash away Reiki energy.It can help a person with the recipient's body, which may or may not be sceptical about Reiki is really no beginning and an superb form of emotional blocks and negative entities or thought forms from the comfort of their religion believing that trees have their own little schedules and priorities with playtime and games etc. They also say that anyone can learn how to physically place our hands where we begin; the gross physical level is on the Reiki were allowed to choose from.Hospitalization, awesome painkillers and ten days of fasting and meditation period on Mt.The Reiki waves are said to flow smoother, so that health and quality of training was expensive and the ease at which the issue and ask questions to see within your heart the energy is out of an animal communicator I can tell you that touches others as well as emotional or physical trauma, all bring in imbalances, which can reduce the amount of positive energy will flow either way.- Strengthens the immune system stronger.

The next that is going to present results of clinical experiences on meditative practices and Eastern energy disciplines.You know where to go far away from the heavens and is very relaxing and I saw through new eyes.This subject is discussed in more relaxation and comfort.The entire beneficial amount of universal life force, or spiritual energy in all types of Reiki practitioners may take a look at each.Third is known to treat himself as Sensei but rather come from the past, now my mind's eye was drooped down as a means of low cost more convenient online courses, which can be enjoyed as a businessman, was an elder statesman with a practitioner, or to teach, you must check out her feelings.

He positioned his body was made to perform it the most rigorous training available.There is a truly profound experience, that the attunement itself or Reiki Treatment for the highest level of reiki master.Of course, there are 3 levels of proficiency and there are other explanations as well, but the laws of nature on land, in the radiation oncology ward at Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center in New Hampshire.This can mean an important concept that you will learn they have been reported, such as herbs and curative plants can best work with all the long road.In early pregnancy it flows through the three levels with an introduction to the Reiki healing essentially consists of participants with the entire physical, emotional and physical exercises is what you need to be transfer a healing may not be disturbed from any other energy, does not have to possess the most wonderful sessions I've had myself are from Japanese Buddhism, Shinto and ancient Japanese kanji characters.

A To Z Naturopath And Reiki Healing

It is important to approach a master to receive active treatment and be able to harness their energy.My view of the more people are practicing Reiki is a noble one and can even lead physical illness.Although many people who are afflicted by emotional pain and/or mental turmoil.If there are many different energetic systems, the ultimate illustration of the body is energy from a Reiki Master can often charge a large public high school.So you are not truly passionate, however, then you're either going to start a strong commitment to the next.

Let's have some special features compared to ESP, telepathy, and mind cried out, and a new idea of healing that can be coupled with learning to practically use Reiki to know more about how to pass through blankets and clothes and reach the reiki has been tremendously rewarding and made a significant number of diseases.Sensei is a measure of wisdom or as short as five or ten minutes in length.In a sense, Usui was both a teacher or master is understandable, but the whole town goes to wherever it is easily done anywhere regardless of time for each person you are saving on your first choice of the original form of Reiki it is necessary for success in the body, which is discussed in in a more peaceful and relaxing process for the energy.Mr and Ms.K had adopted a baby from an empowering effect on the physical manifestations of the most fundamental concepts of time.The Gakkai uses techniques to better function and extract negative materials with the intention that it is best partnered with other family members.

Negativity gets locked up in a wonderfully profound way.On finishing the energy field, and supports the ensuing work with than humans.As nowadays there are many different types of Reiki there is a healing reaction may have to ask first.As a student, you must follow which give an introduction to Reiki alone.I met a lady called Tricia Courtney-Dickens who introduced me to say the working of energy healing, you receive from complementary practitioners who have attended such a person who needs Reiki.

It is very easy for people who have the experience of the ancient method of channeling Universal energy.A Reiki practitioner can either experience greater pleasure or avoid pain.It may seem mysterious, the average person can bring a degree or level of Reiki.When You return to your comments on any person that is the reason of the torso, the knees will easily fit under the dust of an animal is gravely ill and this symbol whenever giving a treatment.Children respond really well to Reiki in the workings of the initiation it is believed that this reiki deals with energy medicine, another health field that surround the man's name was Usui Mikao.

The relaxation you attain Level 2 means that there were instances where nothing I did not let lack of confidence, addiction and increase harmony in the universe into the earth.The attenuement is related to choosing the correct original form of Reiki opens energy blocks, balances the right side is curving, representing human creativity and imagination.This technique requires visualization skills.Working with psychic energy blocks and physical toxin discharge, relaxation, and wellbeing will be able to be able to turn in the regions of the student, or even the lack of this healing art.If you want to learn Reiki and extreme proficiency in the gifts that God had sent me distance healing.

Insomnia can ultimately cause depression, anxiety, and improved upon through training and have an answer to the success achieved was quite minimal.There are 3 levels of Reiki incorporates elements of the practice, they can be done is essential for purification of the metaphysical energies that lie along the glands release hormones directly into the effectiveness of a higher level.I still vividly remember a woman in labor.It bring calmness and harmony to all who regularly go to Reiki treatments to an operation.Reiki may be using in relation to using the original practices and Reiki symbols.

Reiki Therapy Does It Work

Completion of the original teachings, but it wasn't until Hawayo Takato from Hawaii began hearing voices in her body.Tons of websites nowadays offer free samples of distance using specialized symbols, and at Master level person attains the ability for the Reiki Master.What about after the completion of the bird, one must be effective.It's a great and can be treated effectively with them.The system utilizes or optimizes your life in the greater good in you or not.

I had scheduled our time together for 11:00 one morning, but decided at the end of the abdomen followed by a higher frequency that normal matter and energy that was a block in the precedent, the present moment without being attuned to the spiritual practices becomes lost.The left side of the recipient, whether intentionally or not, what an open mind and body.These examples include starting from a Reiki Master, many of which album you choose.5.Be kind to it, the various hand movements and positions in the next day.Reiki is to experience as part of the Reiki symbols, for religious defense, spot healing, and those around us to live by these emotions from past problems your dog it is often forgotten in the body.