#and it's like i'm taking constant psychic damage from it all. constant damage for the past 27 years and idk how to fix it <3

[robinsnest2111]

feeling very Hunted For Sport and untethered and like I don't belong anywhere in this world and like no one loves me in the unrealistic utopian way my mentally ill brain craves for some fucked up reason <3

[carlyraejepsans]

I really respect your dedication to these characters and the fine nuances in writing them with pinpoint accuracy but lord it must be really really hard to find any amount of fanfics by people who feel the same and don't unintentionally do something kinda ooc once that makes you stop reading a story. With short comics and art and whatever you have to go out of your way to mischaracterize characters since there's not a ton of internal substance, they're just kissing or telling a line of dialogue, but with fic it's so descriptive and so much more thought on how a character's inner workings carry on, and I feel a lot of people have fun writing fanfiction in a way that does not result in 100% accurate characterizations because that would take so much continual, constant effort and very thorough character analysis skills and applications to get right pretty much all of the time. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say beyond it must be tough for you specifically to find stories that don't annoy you- or perhaps that is not accurate! I don't read much fic so I don't know, it just seems like it'd be exhausting from an outside perspective

BAHAHAHA the eternal struggle of the Hater. I'm kind of obsessed with how you described it here. You're mostly correct! And kind of missing a crucial detail at the same time.

It's true, it is extremely difficult to find fanfiction that agrees with me--especially for a fandom like Undertale with 1) a very young audience and 2) a very heavily character-centric form of storytelling, which inevitably results in nuanced personalities that are hard to grasp without full context (which means analyzing the canon... a lot!)

There's two very important things you should note though!! Undertale is a HUGE fandom. As hard as finding really accurate fics might be, they ARE out there, and when i find them I'm so invested in their accuracy and analysis that I enjoy them 10000 times more than someone who just... doesn't think about this stuff. It's about quality over quantity.

The other thing is: being this ""picky"" and analysis focused doesn't actually stop me from reading fanfiction. Just lately I've been going through the entire fandom tag on ao3 in reverse alphabetical order and trying out anything that doesn't immediately put me off via tags/summary. Is there a lot of stuff that reads ooc or that I just plain don't like? like, a LOT of it? absolutely. But at the end of the day, that ALSO becomes an exercise in analysis. Why did this portrayal come off as ooc? Was the character voice accurate to canon? If not, what made them differ? Was it the way the character acted, rather? Is this the author's bias or exaggeration? Why do I feel like it would be at odds with the person they are in canon? Would they ever be driven to behave like this? What would push them? Was that accurately justified in this fic? and so on.

it's true that engaging with fandom on the regular can heavily skew your perception of the original, but i feel that engaging with fanon and habitually returning to the canon as a point of reference, as contrast, as fact checking, is one of the best ways to truly understand both the characters and the fan communities that they gathered around them. overall, it's good fun!! well worth the occasional cursed content, and even then it gives me something to inflict psychic damage on my friends with.

[thecreaturecodex]

Mind Flayer, Illithid

"Mindflayer" © Steven Bellshaw, accessed at his ArtStation here

[In designing a mind flayer, I wanted to avoid some of the pitfalls of the past. The 3.x mind flayer was very fragile, and the mind blast very disruptive, so that fights with them either resulted in the mind flayer getting pulped before it could do anything, or the entire party stunned long enough for the mind flayer to get halfway to a TPK. So I wanted to give them a bit more bulk. 5e gives them full on breastplate, but I wanted to keep the slick leather look from the 3e era. I did take the save every turn and limited uses for the mind blast from 5e. Although I'm not using the psychic magic ability for my mind flayer (because it sacrifices uses/day for versatility), I did use a couple of occult spells so they have some way to deal damage.]

Mind Flayer, Illithid CR 7 LE Aberration This lean humanoid has slick lilac skin and a head like that of an octopus. Multiple tentacles surround a lamprey-like maw. It wears leather robes decorated with skulls and other macabre accessories.

Illithids are the most common and most widespread of the mind flayers. Although some of them live in colonies close to an elder brain, the better to both share its knowledge and fertilize its eggs, many of them live solitary lives or in small communities more similar to a monastic cell. Every illithid desires power and knowledge, and they all go about obtaining these in different ways. Illithids with the same creed may come together in a circle, or illithids of several creeds may travel together in what is called an inquisition, similar to an adventuring party of humanoids. Many illithids keep multiple charmed or dominated slaves to serve them as physical labor and emergency rations.

Most illithids avoid direct physical confrontation if they can help it, instead sending their slaves to the front lines and fighting with their magical abilities. Illithids are masters of mind-influencing magic, and are capable of turning allies against each other or forcing their enemies into hazardous situations. Their most feared ability is the mind blast, which can incapacitate an entire party long enough for the illithid to close in and bore its tentacles into the brains of a victim or two. Illithids usually flee if combat turns against them, as they value their lives above all else.

Illithids are usually tall and imposing, averaging six feet tall but lean. Their skin is usually in shades of pinks and purples, although green and blue hues are not uncommon. They dress in a fashion suggestive of aristocracy—high collars, fancy robes and jewelry are typical. Their unique language, Qualith, is written only and similar to cuneiform; they speak in hissing, rasping tones when they use their mouths, but usually rely on telepathic communication. 

Illithid    CR 7 XP 3,200 LE Medium aberration (mind flayer) Init +3; Senses darkvision 60 ft., low-light vision, Perception +12 Defense AC 19, touch 13, flat-footed 16 (+3 Dex, +2 armor, +4 shield) hp 68 (8d8+32) Fort +6, Ref +5, Will +9; +4 vs. emotion effects SR 22 Defensive Abilities affectless; Weakness light blindness, sunlight sickness Offense Speed 30 ft. Melee masterwork light mace +10/+5 (1d6+1), tentacles +4 (4d4 plus grab) or tentacles +9 (4d4+1 plus grab) Special Attacks mind blast, pith (tentacles) Spell-like Abilities CL 8th, concentration +12 (+16 casting defensively) Constant—mental barrier I At will—detect thoughts (DC 16), levitate, mind thrust II (DC 16), suggestion (DC 17) 3/day—charm monster (DC 18), dimension door, dominate person (DC 19) 1/day—fly, plane shift (DC 19) Statistics Str 12, Dex 16, Con 18, Int 19, Wis17, Cha 19 Base Atk +6; CMB +9 (+12 grappling); CMD 20 Feats Agile Maneuvers, Combat Casting, Magical Aptitude, Weapon Finesse Skills Bluff +10, Fly +10, Intimidate +13, Knowledge (arcana) +17, Knowledge (dungeoneering, planes) +14, Perception +12, Sense Motive +9, Spellcraft +15, Stealth +12, Use Magic Device +12; Racial Modifiers +4 Knowledge Languages Aklo, Qualith, Undercommon, telepathy 100 ft. Ecology Environment underground Organization solitary, inquisition (2-4), circle (5-12 plus 0-1 ulitharids) or colony (20-200 plus 1 ulitharid per 10 individuals and 1 elder brain) Treasure double standard (masterwork light mace, masterwork leather armor, other treasure) Special Abilities Mind Blast (Su) As a standard action, an illithid can create a 60 foot cone of mental energy. All creatures in the area must succeed a DC 18 Will save or be stunned for 3d4 rounds. A creature that is stunned may attempt to recover from this condition as a full-round action with an additional DC 18 Will save. Mind flayers are immune to the effects of a mind blast. An illithid can use a mind blast three times per day, and must wait 1d4 rounds between uses. This is a mind-influencing effect, and the save DC is Charisma based. Tentacles (Ex) An illithid attacks simultaneously with all its tentacles, treating them as a primary natural weapon.

[phantomrose96]

Seems I'm using tumblr again for personal diary time to balance out how much I'm blubbering to friends so anyway, brain dump.

Having anxiety all wrapped up in having moved into a new home sucks cuz there's no "just go home and relax and stop thinking about it." There's just going home and being like "ah yeah, this thing, the castle of anxieties." Like the place is fine! It's good and I should be nicer to it! But it's woefully empty and I've got 0 spoons left to furnish it rn. I'm super bad at home-furnishing and decor anyway, so like I thrived on college dorm rooms which needed no furnishing and shared apartments where I only needed to worry about my own room.

So it's just. Daunting. And I still have various moving issues and mortgage issues I'm sorting out and chasing down and there's been no relaxing about it for like, nearly 3 months. Which all means little things like "the new grocery store is farther away and not as good" and "the washing machine here takes 1h15m to run" and "I can hear the neighbor's tv" which should be minor inconveniences at best are like, magnified psychic damage dealers, currently. And I really liked my previous location and it's so hard to cope with having left it when like, I'm mentally blocked against appreciating any of the positives of my new place.

And my brain's just the type where like, if it marinates in anxiety long enough it gets stuck like that for a good while longer even after the bulk of the problems have passed. So I'm just expecting to be anxiety-riddled for like... a good and unknowable amount of time longer.

And I'm just getting by fighting the constant anxiety with over-exercise and extremely cheap liquor--which is neither sustainable nor a way to live, really. Like it's the only thing pulling me back from the cusp of an anxiety attack lately but I really don't want to sustain spending every evening physically exhausted and inebriated. I wanna do hobbies and write and read and live but I'm kinda just clinging to "still performing at work" and "getting by while at home"

Anyway... _(:3」∠)_

[jojo-schmo]

Hey, just wanted to ask for some pointers on creating a Kirby Swap AU, since you seem to have it down.

If the swaps affect the universe as a whole, do I start the story at the beginning, or can I write the first part as based on a later game? And am I allowed to keep some things the same? (For example, if I swapped Meta Knight and Susie Haltmann, could I keep President Haltmann as Susie’s father?) And do you have any tips in general for stuff like this?

Hello there! What a great question!

First, a disclaimer: I am by no means a professional storyteller. In fact, I think my creative process and thought organization methods would probably cause a professional to take psychic damage, haha! But I'll give you some of my thought process behind my swap-making decisions and try to be as helpful as possible!

Answer under the cut!! :D

I think my biggest piece of advice would be this! It's your AU, so YOU get to make up all the rules!! You can follow canon as closely as you want, or you can just run wild! The only restrictions are the ones you put on yourself! Make sure to have fun exploring the different possibilities of the universe you're swapping in! :)

You also don't have to set anything in stone. Initially, I only swapped Dedede and Bandee and left the rest of the canon story alone because I just wanted to make a Bandee boss fight. But about a month after my first drawing of swapped Bandee, I started thinking about the fun chaos of swapping more and making the canon story my own! So remember that your story is allowed to evolve over time!

I'm a pretty visual thinker. When I was deciding who to swap, I remember I actually drew out the characters in a sort of graph so it was easier to think about what swapping the role would affect in the universe.

It's all in the name: ROLEswap! To keep it less overwhelming, boil the characters down to their basic role in the story. Then it's easier to think about it.

Let's take the Protector role in Forgotten Land for example. This is the character that stays behind from the main adventure of Players 1 and 2, but does a lot in the background. Protecting the town from Beasts, presumably helping the Dees, running a tournament, etc.

In canon Meta Knight protects the town with constant vigilance because he's a steadfast and disciplined knight. He's so devoted to his job, he doesn't even interact with anyone on ground level! He runs the tournament to help train Kirby and keep his own blade sharp.

But if Kirby were to do it, I imagine he might simply immerse himself into the town's culture and daily activities, especially if there's food involved! The tournament he'd host would be for entertainment- to boost the morale of the town's population (and to eat delicious stadium snacks)! He would still do well at defending the town because of his enormous power level, but he would do it differently than Meta and the others.

I should also mention that my Roleswap AU is strictly about the effects of swapping roles in the Forgotten Land plot. In this universe, Kirby's Adventure, Superstar, Dreamland etc. all occurred the same as in canon.

I guess you could say..... My AU is about how much a Butterfly Effect would change the entire plot with one simple action that snowballs into an entirely different outcome.

...I didn't pick that choice of words purposefully at all. >:3

But yes! Regarding your specific ask, you can start the story wherever you want! If you wanna explore swapping Susie and Meta Knight from the very beginning of the series, or just from Planet Robobot, do it! There are no rules except yours! :D

If it were me, I would boil down Meta's role as a Knight and Defender, and Susie as the businessperson and invader- then ask myself what each character would do in these roles. How much of their personality would remain intact from canon, and how much would they change? Would you want Haltmann to remain Susie's father? Or would you give Meta Knight an antagonistic father figure?

That is entirely up to you. And that's the best part!! If you want to totally ignore me, that's within your right! You get to interpret whatever you want to write the exact story you want to tell!! <3

Oops, I ended up writing a lot haha. I hope this was at least a little bit helpful! Have so much fun!! :)

[orbees]

the complaining complainer

I'm sure my first 500 posts about this gave it away but ough I'm struggling so hard creatively like even beyond this specific drawing I just feel like I can't make Anything as of late and it's been like this for like over two months. it's rly bumming me out and when I get like this it's rly hard to keep it from turning into "well maybe the reason you're having such a hard time is bc you suck your ideas suck ur characters suck and everything you do sucks" >_<

the worst is when I start feeling that way about my characters bc I pretty much think about them all the time and it's such a great source of comfort for me. but when I think about them in This kinda headspace it's pretty much like I'm taking constant psychic damage. it just sucks and I feel like if I can just break thru and make SOMETHING I'll feel a lot better but then I look at everything I make and all I see is garbage. feels bad! :)

[queenvhagar]

let's play a game: list at least 5 alternative fantasy series (past or present) to watch instead of hotd.

To people who want an exploration of sociopolitics concerning the realities of life under the control of a fascist empire and those who rebel against its pursuit of ultimate power, a show that explores gray characters with complex motivations and isn't afraid to reveal some ugly truth about humanity, I recommend Andor (you do not need any prior Star Wars experience, nor do I necessarily recommend anything outside of the first two trilogies of movies, and definitely not any of the other Disney shows or movies) (seriously this show takes the audience seriously and doesn't treat you like you're dumb which is extremely rare nowadays) (it also boasts Andy Serkis in live action in maybe my favorite role of his - he is an underrated powerhouse of an actor).

To fans of drama and comedy combined who want a story of empowerment, love, friendship, and fighting your inner demons personified as real life monsters you have to defeat, all set in the late 90s and early 00s, I recommend Buffy the Vampire Slayer (its creator is problematic for a plethora of reasons but the art that the team of creatives put together from his idea is worth experiencing, in my opinion) (I actually have a tattoo related to this show).

To all the sapphics who can read the subtext that persists through TV censorship and have a soft spot for 90s television, Xena Warrior Princess will give you an amazing queer love story (officially recognized in the writing subtextually and by the actresses themselves).

To all the shippers who wish the plot was fluffy and fit to make happy endings, I'm classifying Bridgerton as a fantasy series for its historical inaccuracies and colorblind casting (great if you love it, but it's not real history, just fantasy of what things might have been if they were different) (this fits a more historical fantasy vibe and is fairly lighthearted).

And for people interesting in having their brain chemistry altered forever for likely the worse, who want to witness the gayest most profound pairing of two people that managed to transcend the writing of the show despite constant attempts to minimize it or shut it down and mid-2000s homophobia so strong that it circles right back around to being gay, in an overall story of generational trauma, family, and love, a show that will cause you to have psychic damage whenever you hear a certain Kansas song play on the radio, I do not recommend Supernatural.

[kamenwriter]

"Space Babies" and "The Devil's Chord" reactions.

Spoilers I'm sure behind the cut.

Space Babies

"It was a genocide" wait I thought the time war got trapped in a painting and then...oh wait the Master killed them all during the Chinbal run, didn't he? God we could just ignore that whole mess but noooooo

The butterfly gag...sigh.

"we made it...we went to the stars" like, I get the whole "hopes and aspirations thing" but when we've got billionaires trying to sell us colonizing mars when it would be a hundred times cheaper and easier to save the planet we're living on, I'd rather a solar punk future not a colonization future. Am I being exceptionally cynical? Maybe. These are just "reactions" not a proper critique.

I can only imagine how difficult filming with all the babies was.

Making the Doctor adopted and all about "embracing what makes you unique" is good Timeless Child damage control but I dunno the idea of him being a renegade of a detached society appeals to me more than him being THE ULTRA SPECIAL TIME BABY.

The AI might actually be an AI?

AND there's something mysterious about Ruby because of course there is.

Star Trek ass looking uniforms on the crew.

"The planet down below refused to stop the babies from being born, but refused to take care of them afterwards" hey now this is getting close to some proper Doctor Who.

"It's like a children's story" this is is a good set up for the mystery here's hoping they stick the landing. Now watch it being some alien that feeds of psychic energy and manifested as the babies fears or something.

The incredibly literal baby raising machine made a bogeyman out of boogers to give the babies a monster to fear. Okay. Acceptable.

I totally understand the Doctor empathizing with the bogeyman but why the babies?

The constant babiesSPACEbabies bit got old so fast.

And a fart joke.

And don't forget, Ruby Sunday is super special and not just some random person we can't have random people do incredible things in Doctor Who nope nope nope

The Devil's Chord

The visual representation of The Maestro sucking out music and eating it is some fucking comic book shit and I am here for it.

The Maestro starts playing the intro oh god don't let this character be meta don't let this character know they're in a story don't fucking lay on that crutch.

"What about my clothes?" Both of those retro ass fits would work fine in the 60s. I'll concede to the hairstyle change though.

...trying to visually communicate the Maestro's influence on reality is definitely a trick. Again this feels exceptionally comic booky (That's a compliment).

Oh that's right Susan was potentially killed during whatever bullshit killed the Time Lords during the Chinbal run.

I do enjoy a camp villain.

The Doctor using the Sonic to actually do something sonic. What a refreshing change of pace

Ugh don't wink at the camera.

"I was born in 2004" well I'll just turn to dust, then.

Power scaling doesn't just affect shonen series the Doctor has to go up against literal gods now...

Callback to the Sound of the Drums yeah okay.

"There's a hidden song deep inside her soul" SPARE ME FROM THIS TROPE OF COMPANIONS BEING SUPER SPECIAL.

"What is this song?" "Christmas" actually it's the Carol of the Bells which was originally a Ukrainian song called Shchedryk do your research.

MuSIC BaTTle hahahaha

DONT WINK AT THE DAMN CAMERA

I want to make this clear I have no problem with a big musical number at the end but making it a meta joke I wanna bash my head in with a hammer. I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF META WRITING.

So in summation Space Babies was kind of what I expect from nuWho nothing amazing I would have loved The Devil's Chord if it weren't for the "oh Ruby is some secret incredible thing" and all the metaphorical and literal winks at the camera.

[ruvviks]

for my fave old man matvey: 💢🎂🙊👑🖍️💓 :^)

oc asks!

💢 ANGER - what are some habits they have that will take some getting used to?

matvey's facial expressions all look exactly the same on a surface level which makes it very hard to tell what he's feeling from a single glance. and his voice is very monotone so that doesn't help you either. this is partially him doing it on purpose so people won't be able to read him easily but partially he just has a resting bitch face and neutral voice and never understood why he would have to fake facial expressions and intonations in his voice for other people <3

much like vitali he's a chainsmoker too but he doesn't smoke the fake shit vitali is smoking so he excuses himself to the nearest balcony several times a day and it does not matter to him if he or someone else he's with is in the middle of something important he will just leave. one thing about matvey is he loves to leave

🎂 BIRTHDAY CAKE - when is their birthday? do they like celebrating it?

his birthday is october 7th! he doesn't like celebrating it at all because "there's nothing to celebrate about being a year closer to dying". he doesn't like being reminded of his age because he kinda feels like he wasted a lot of his time already and he's never gonna get those years back :/

🙊 SPEAK-NO-EVIL - what is something your oc will refuse to stay quiet about?

matvey LOVES pointing out other people's hypocrisy more than anything in the world and he will be so smug about it. and he will be right and you will be so annoyed with him but there's nothing you can do because once he's lecturing you you'll just be taking constant psychic damage until it's over </3 it gets worse because at the same time he refuses to see his own hypocrisy and won't let anyone lecture him on it (except for vitali at some point and then he'll start listening more. but he's NOT happy about it)

👑 CROWN - what does your oc want to be remembered as? why?

matvey wanted the same thing as nadya for the longest time; power and respect and fame and just being important in general like his parents before him, to prove himself to both them as well as his wife which is why he fought so hard to get his promotion when she asked that of him. but nowadays he doesn't want to be remembered at all anymore. he's snapped out of the insanity spiral that made him try to get revenge on vitali in the first place and is now realizing how stupid all of it was, and he's very glad that his name has never been officially tied to the broker on the big stage of the city so he's still in the clear but just the knowledge alone of having been That guy is killing him to a certain degree. and honestly rightfully so because people died. so honestly he really just wants to disappear into oblivion the second he dies because he doesn't consider himself as someone worth remembering

🖍️ CRAYON - what advice would you give to them?

unserious answer to this is give me ten minutes alone with him in a broom closet with the strap and we wouldn't have the broker fic at all because he'll be divorcing nadya the second they're fired from arasaka

serious answer to this would be. well. honestly the same thing WHJSGHFJDHGJFDJHG i feel like matvey's bisexual awakening would have sped things up significantly to get to that divorce so they can both move on without each other. if i'm not allowed to fuck that old man then i would just email him some divorce papers instead

💓 BEATING HEART - what gets their heart racing?

matvey isn't all that romantic but man. someone genuinely enjoying his company and willingly spending time with him and showing interest in his very classic widely considered boring corpo guy interests?? that will get to him a little bit alright. since nadya and he both worked for arasaka they kinda ended up living parallel to each other which meant that nadya just barely gave him attention. viktor on the other hand enjoys matvey's company and will regularly offer him a beer when he's over at the shop to get him to stay longer which is something matvey is not used to at all!!!! and he's not complaining!!!!! i wonder what it all means!!!!!!!!!

[cookinguptales]

oh gosh, hello! i'd like to request a reading, if you've still got the time! i am rather nervous here as i just never go into people's asks?? but i'm stressing out quite a bit these days about my chronic illness & was thinking, like, as a particular focus, reading-wise--like how does one find joy in terrible circumstances? maybe that's stretching the limits of tarot, but i'm honestly fine with anything, really. tarot is just fascinating to me & it's been ages since i had a reading! anyway, apologies for my rambling!! i hope you have an absolutely wonderful day :)

(quick p.s. just needed to mention while i've got you how much joy your wwdits fics & meta have brought me on truly hopelessly bleak days!! just thanks, dude :) cheers!)

Thank you. ;; That's really sweet, and very nice to hear.

I suppose that when I do this reading, I'll probably be bringing some of my own opinions into it, too, having asked myself the same question due to my own chronic illness quite often. But I guess that's fine. These readings often feel like a conversation facilitated by cards. :)

(Ten of Wands, Five of Swords, Ace of Cups)

Wow, Ten of Wands feels... very on the nose. lmao. It is actually very, very easy to read these first two cards through the lens of chronic illness. The Ten of Wands, obviously enough, is about burden. The Five of Swords... think of it almost... like a pyrrhic victory of sorts. You might have won the battle, but at what cost? You don't feel good about it, for sure.

Putting them together, I do feel the heaviness of a constant slog. Every day you carry your burdens. Your pain, your illness, the constant responsibilities that don't go away just because you're feeling poorly. And each day you succeed, more or less -- I mean, you're still here, aren't you? But oh the cost. Either you have to lower your expectations for yourself or you need to harm yourself to perform to those standards. The kind of psychic and physical damage that inflicts...

I guess... it's the sense of maintenance, isn't it? A careful balancing act every single day that doesn't quite end. All you can do is take care of it as best you can, and try not to beat yourself up whenever you drop a few wands.

Both of these cards do also have a vibe of picking your battles, so to speak. Maybe you don't need to be carrying all ten of those wands. Maybe part of the reason you keep having to put up with pyrrhic victories when you fight is because you're choosing to fight too often. We can't always dump all of our responsibilities when we're sick, but... maybe there's a way to lighten your own load a little? At least mentally, if not in the physical world.

As for the last card, though... I think this is where the true advice comes in. The Ace of Cups is a card of potential. A sort of... divine spring, if you will, from which flows all manner of good things. Love and energy and creativity. So much that the metaphorical cup is running over.

It can be tempting to try and close your hand around this cup. To try and hold tight to this water. But that's not how water works, is it? Instead, let it flow through you. Feel those new beginnings and let them fill you up, then let it all leave you again so it can find someone else.

What I'm getting at here is... Look. Life's a struggle. I know it and so do you. But there are good things in it, too. And those can feel so few and far between that you want to throw yourself into every good thing. Wring every bit of happiness from it that you can. But that's a good way to make a good thing start to feel stressful, or have it go away entirely. It turns joy into work.

Instead, think of it like a pleasant rain shower. You can't predict when it will come, and you can't save it forever. But when it comes, you can take advantage of it. Bathe in it, drink in it, let it renew you. And then let it pass through you, too. You're as much a part of the water cycle as anything.

So when good things come... take them. Don't close yourself off to opportunity just because it feels like One More Thing. Reach out to the people who love you. Have fun wallowing around in your creativity. And then pass it forward. Don't cling to those moments, but give yourself the freedom to feel them fully -- and help other people feel them, too.

For me personally... writing, while occasionally a struggle, is also an outlet. There's a certain joy to the act of creation, and it makes me happy when I can bring that joy to others as well. I can't just... look at the outcome of a story. I have to really enjoy the part where it flows through me, too, even if it feels silly or self-indulgent. Enjoy that moment, and don't think about where it ends.

I think this idea of a sort of divine (if not religious) water that connects us all as long as we open ourselves up to it, accept it, and then continue to pass it on... I think some of that really does feel like joy. Take those little moments of joy into yourself, then reach out to others and share it. Let it reflect between the two of you, magnify, and then move on.

And on the hard days... instead of walling yourself off or trying to brute force your way through happiness, just... let all that flow through you, too. The water cycle doesn't have a beginning or an end, y'know? A flood and a glass of water come from the same source.

It feels reductive to say "be open to joy and then you'll be able to feel it" but... I spent a long time looking for some mercurial something that would make my life worth living despite the pain, but... there is no flash of lightning. No sudden understanding.

You just have to stand out in the rain sometimes and ignore how soggy your socks are in favor of how nice the water feels against your skin. Just -- really, really focus on the things that make you feel good. Take the small victories where you can get them and translate that into joy that you can share.

Weirdly, I do think that stressing out about finding joy can make it harder to feel. Instead of trying to find some grand idea of happiness, though, just... I don't know. Let small things be good. Let them be enough. Let them coalesce into something like joy. Understand that pure joy absent pain probably doesn't exist, not for us, but that doesn't mean that our painful, imperfect joy is worth any less.

I don't know. I'm not a therapist or a philosopher or a psychic. I'm just a woman who, against all odds, is still here at 33. And sometimes it's a stupid vampire that makes me happy (or... sad) and sometimes it's a nice piece of cheese and sometimes it's the way the rain sounds on my window right now. When a nice thing comes, let it feel nice. And when a bad thing does, let it feel bad. Both things will pass through you with time.

And in the meantime... I do think that our humanity is strongest when we reach out to each other. And it can be easier to feel joy when we let others share both our good times and our bad times. A few of those wands we've been carrying all by ourselves or maybe some of that water flowing through our cup.

[skittzdaskittle]

I've been thinking about Maligula aus

Not necessarily about her, but who could be the next Maligula

I've been coming up with concepts for villain versions of the hyperfixation quintet, but currently I'm having psychonauts brainrot

I recently saw two aus after coming up with the concept of Cerinfernem (cerebellum and inferno), where one has Augustus as the next Maligula (which takes place during the second game) where he.....he really needs a hug, and Gristol really needs a kick in the nuts, called the Malaugustus au, made by @britishsass (great name), and one that also takes place during the second game, but this time Raz becomes the next Maligula and it's Fred Bonaparte style and tries to hide the fact he's strait up turning purple and then just goes on a rampage called the riptide au made by @thefurriestofchows

I was already developing my version of villain Raz by the time I came across these, but they gave me more ideas, like the thing Raz controls, like, Maligula controls water snakes, Augustus controls water wolves (cool), Raz has the hands of Aquato, so I looked up animals associated with fire and I immediately knew, it was phenix time, and I decided to just have one that he summons from his fire and it actually has a personality and goes along with whatever Raz is thinking about doing, his name is Phelix

The main story of the au is that Augustus shows up before Raz finds out who's behind everything, and to his intense protest he's taken home, and as you can guess, his family does it's usual Aquato thing and eventually he runs away again, this time away from the circus AND whispering rock

He eventually (relatively near a decently sized town) finds the perfect place to live, a conveniently shaped hole in the ground that's not too deep but with not too many plants (cuz he decides to focus on his pyroconesis) and woopsie it's a psitanium and psilirium impact crater that comes with the added benefits of; nullifying each other's properties and amplify them at the same time, cuz psitanium can make the mentally unstable more unstable, and psilirium causes delusions, negative and positive

He lives in and grows crops around it for about fifteen years and Jesus he's fucked up, and now he thinks he's the savior of the world because he's gonna cleanse it from the people who don't accept physics, "fake phyconauts", and physics who are against his cause, or he just doesn't like them. And don’t worry Phelix is with him through it all, and to quote Raz, "honestly i think I'd go insane if you weren't here"

Also at like, year 4-5 at living at the impact sight he sets the Aquato family circus on fire and Dion dies trying to save Mirtala, who also dies in the fire

Man, I wonder who set that fire 🤔

Raz is just a constant menace that "the new psychic six" (Lili, Fraizie, Dogan, Bobby, Adam, and Gisu) have to deal with

Raz: Hey, could you do something for me Fraizie? Say hi to Dion and Mirtala for me :)

Then he said it's firing time and fired all over the place, mostly aimed at Fraizie but got got Bobby Zilch instead and now he has permanent nerve damage

So with that said, here's some Cerinfernem au art concepts:

Instead of bright yellow eyes, what about psitanium and psilirium swirls, or I guess swirl cuz he just has one eye

Speaking of which, it never moves or glows. Ever

I'd like to think he never learned to make his abilities invisible like most physics or maybe he just thinks it's cooler, you be the judge

The og concept drawings:

[majimassqueaktoy]

god i am BEYOND sorry you have to deal with the women-hating cesspit that is the yakuza fandom — you've said literally nothing but FACTS about how the series treats its female characters and that makes you a 'misinformation peddler'?? HELLO??? mirei deserved infinitely more than what the writers gave her, from her being hit by majima (which is still fucking INSANE to me, like i get y5 came before y0 and majima was significantly less of a Character back then cos we didn't have y0 and the kiwami 2 majima saga to flesh him out as a Person more but GOD every time i remember majima hit his WIFE i take SO MUCH psychic damage BUT that's its own thinkpiece for another time !) during their marriage after choosing to abort her baby for the sake of her career which was ultimately taken from her anyways, to her fucking bullshit off-screen death like they couldn't even afford her the effort of an actual send off for one of the like. 12 women in the series, none of which except haruka are a constant throughout ! yakuza, even though it's my favorite series of all time, has a horrendous track record with its women — yumi, yuko, reina, kaoru, yasuko, mirei, THE LIST GOES ON ! it's agony and im sorry you're dealing with rotted amoeba brains trying to argue with you or start shit when you're RIGHT ! ive been a fan for YEARS now and the OPINIONS i have SEEN dear fucking GOD i am TIRED and i Hate that you've gotta see this kinda trash directed at you now. mirei suffered for her entire life right up to her end, it's not fucking wrong to have wanted better for her — people are INSANE

I didn't see this ask before 😓 But yeah I totally agree!! And thank you for this I appreciate you saying so!! I genuinely felt like very very perplexed at the reaction I got from what was just my personal opinion and honestly a pretty mild criticism in the scheme of things, I still really love the series and the ladies, I just point out issues I've seen along the way but it's nice to know there's people who understand where I'm coming from 💗

[riftwalker-limbro]

What does it feel like to get put in baby jail the Rift? We know in-game enemies stub their toe and allies only suffer psychic damage bc they don't know what the roll button is, so do they actually feel different for enemy vs ally too?

how often do Pule and Bruiser get put in rift timeout for being problems

phrasing. you are so fucking good at phrasing. jhbjdhgbsjdbhf

brief recap of what i said about how the rift *works*: if reality is a system of particles keeping itself in an 'active' state, the void is a system of particles keeping itself 'inactive', and these systems are self-reinforcing. the rift is when you keep all particles forcibly in stasis, toeing the line between reality and void - if you're casting this while In Reality you're gonna have to scramble some particles into a void state for this to be effective first & vice versa, i think, but keeping it all in stasis is really the big challenge.

so my first thought at "how does it feel for allies" is probably like. you get the feeling that you've just run into a wall, but it's just vibes & no actual feeling? like you've skipped a step running down the stairs? it feels Off to exist in the rift bc it's not a stable plane of existence by definition. i think you'd instinctively hold your breath in there, just because it feels like you shouldn't be able to breathe in there. it'd feel at once warm and cold, because warm and cold both rely on particle movement, and particle movement gets particularly fucked up in the rift - also the source of the noises. things are fuzzy at the edges, both in terms of vision and physical bounds - the filter you get over your screen when you hop into the rift, light works a little funny passing through it.

i think i've mentioned before that it'd be funny if vince's abilities don't have that base damage that limbo's have. i think i'm going to reinforce that here because i can See how stasis would work with this setup but not Instant Damage. slowly choking enemies to death because you won't let them use their lungs, though? Very Possible

with kali's post i mentioned that the way the abilities know to distinguish between friend and foe is because 1. transference allegiance communication and 2. warframe as the prism to channel this energy through. works the same here. vince's energy-channeling keeps the plane-of-existence-particles in stasis, and if your particles happen to be passing through the set he's currently controlling, if you identify as Friend he'll leave you be, but if you are Not Friend then your particles get added to the list of Hold Fuckin Still

you'll notice that i specifically say Channel & not Cast Cataclysm Once & Sit Back. it takes focus (& let that be one of the things he gets Bad At after the confetti event) to keep a chaotic bubble in stasis & not let it succumb to entropy, so it's a constant energy drain, and the Bubble will still shrink over time due to said entropy. banish also doesn't work the same - vince can just cast smaller you-shaped bubbles on your location, not specifically target you. his abilities don't lock on to moving entities as well as they can pure location. i think his 3 would still work like base limbo's, in a way, maybe somewhat like an equivalent to radiation poisoning & some of the life-force-vampirism that pule has going on also. i'm throwing around vibes here none of this is any kind of scientific & i need to generally use rift surge more to get more of a Vibe on this one.

oagh the life-force-vampirism actually also works with the getting-energy-for-killing-shit-in-the-rift thing. and the healing-allies-in-the-rift also - channel from foe to friend.

OKAY on to shenanigans. so his abilities won't instinctively let him banish & stasis something that identifies as a Friend to him but that doesn't mean he can't hard-lock (not allow Anything to pass through) a thin layer of particles all around you so that you're Prevented From Moving Anyway. this would feel Very Claustrophobic despite being able to see through it so he only tries it on bruiser once & does apologise for that afterwards. pule doesn't have bruiser's excuse so he gets this treatment on the Regular. vince is probably also able to briefly hard-lock a rock-shaped area in front of your foot, as a very nonspecific example.

i don't think he could use this to medically-safely extract someone in an emergency, though. hard-locking is difficult to hang on to & he can't do it for long, and he also can't Move the hard-locked area around - the particles are locked locally and if the point is to Not Let Them Move you can't just make them Move Anyway. that would just move the hard-locked area itself around & drop whoever he was holding onto the floor the second they're no longer supported by the particles.

[nvzblgrrl]

Talks w/ my grandma in 2019

Grandma: your housekeeping is inadequate, i shall be forced to hire a housekeeper

Me, five minutes away from having an anxiety attack over the idea of a stranger in my space: but the cost

Grandma: oh right...

Talks w/ my grandma in 2020

Grandma: your housekeeping is inadequate, i shall be forced to hire a housekeeper

Me, several months past feeling anything resembling an emotion anymore, even if the sensation of being five minutes away from an anxiety attack has not let up: plague's on

Grandma: oh right...

[royaltyfreeramblings]

Talk about Tony the Most Divorced Man or else.

first of all. this is mr. the tiger

as you can see he is not a cereal mascot. in fact he is not affiliated with kell or oggs. he is pro-union and anti-capitalist as well. He is a beast of PURE improv and everything about him is literally spawned from people saying words and dealing with the consequences later. the laws of god do not apply to this man. I love him so much.

But before we dive deeper into the Tony Lore, we'll need to talk about what happened to Jersey.

In this universe, New Jersey got utterly fucked up by the death-but-not-really of a God, who straight up exploded and unleashed a ton of energy into the surrounding area, permanently altering it into two distinct zones. These zones are Old New Jersey, which consists of a wasteland full of strange creatures, rust storms and more, and New New Jersey, which has parking lots full of floating vehicles and a commune of formerly-monarchist alligators in the sewers. It is one of the most Fucked Places in-universe.

Where does Tony fit into all of this?

Well, Tony was born in New New Jersey and learned how to fight in the Lots, dodging cars and lava. He quickly earned a reputation as a hometown hero known as the Demon of the Lot. His escapades became rather well-known, and over time he got involved in all sorts of nonsense, such as becoming friends with a group of mercenaries and also dismantling the aforementioned alligator sewer monarchy. At some point in his life, he met Hazard, who is someone that actively deals psychic damage to people around him and is one of the most guys of all time as well. Tony is immune to psychic damage. The two of them got married and had a daughter who basically learned everything from Wikipedia articles which she has memorized. In this time frame, he also mastered the use of the Lot Stance, a powerful technique that is effective against Landlords, Monarchists, and more. It involves dropping down ontop of your opponent really fast.

For this next bit, we need to talk about parallel universes as well as stuff made by one of my hella rad friends.

So in some Fanfuffles there are two universes, U1 and U2. U2 is like U1, but events are slightly pushed in a different direction for a lot of characters as a way to explore how these characters would exist in different circumstances.

In U2, Tony does not change, because he is constant across all universes. The U2 counterpart of Hazard is known as Selenicereus. Sel divorced Tony (u2) so joddamn hard that every Tony across the multiverse lost their asses collectively, and the universe intervenes every time his ass is threatened to be restored to it's full power. In U2, Tony lost his ass in the Divorce. In U1, Tony lost his ass in mourning, as Hazard had died around the same time of The Divorce.

In the time leading up to Ai Altercation, things got both better and worse. His mercenary friends got captured while going to assassinate the head of a major corporation, for starters. He also adopted a weird fish alien who came to earth to conquer it and now is just Dealing With Imposter Syndrome. We'll get to it. Eventually, he wound up as the captain of Team Charge, a team dedicated to fighting for glory, for the fun of it, or some other reason. Just a bunch of people who like fighting for the hell of it.

I'm gonna speedrun the Tony Events from 1 to 10 the best I can here.

AA1 is the big team captain bracket where the current captains at the time all fought. He had to fight Regional Manager. The one who had most of his friends killed/experimented on because they aren't actually dead except for Knight but ANYWAYS. After that Tony goes on a date with Goro Majima (Shapeshifter Forme) in the parking lot of a Home Depot where they eat Glass together. Tony can just do that.

From AA2 onward is when the REAL stuff happens for him. He shows up in a different Fanfuffle around that time with Rook (One of the Mercenaries) and Jessica and the three of them sweep a bracket and take the champion spot. Jessica took champ title while her fish bestie Mazu was champion in New York. Then before AA5, Tony went to Florida to visit. This visit resulted in the resurrection of Hazard through the sacrifice of Chris Pratt, who was killed by two of Hazard's teammates (who are now married) and an undead punk singer. (Travis King my beloved.) So Hazard is back, Jessica gets to see her other dad again, big family reunion. Tony and Hazard both show up in bracket for AA6, which you can find on the VOD channel I should link somewhere. For the past few tournaments he's honestly done very little except provide support for his team, but he IS in bracket for Gaiden 2. So look forward to that if you want to see him in action

[paperanddice]

Alesia is the last of the Gravelstoke's main strike force. Like her brothers, she is a bitter, cruel person, in her case a manipulative and emotional bully. She twists truths to turn friends against each other, and loves seeing someone's social connections strained and broken.

She's the one who developed the idea of the three siblings deliberately projecting bizarre and off-putting behavior so aggressively, giving the rest of the world the impression they are much less dangerous than they truly are. It directs potential attention away, and gives an explanation for their constant absences and isolated nature: they're just unhinged in some way, and so can be dismissed. The eldest sibling, Xander, who has the same skills as the strike force but does not engage in hits, remains the publicly and socially accepted face of the family, apologizing for his sibling's absences and quirks and feigning despair over their futures.

Originally from the 4e Monster Vault: Threats to the Nentir Vale. This post came out a week ago on my Patreon. If you want to get access to all my monster conversions early, as well as access to my premade adventures and other material I'm working on, consider backing me there!

5th Edition

Alesia Gravelstoke Medium humanoid (human), neutral evil Armor Class 16 (studded leather) Hit Points 120 (16d8 + 48) Speed 30 ft. Str 14 (+2) Dex 18 (+4) Con 16 (+3) Int 17 (+3) Wis 18 (+4) Cha 20 (+5) Skills Acrobatics +7, Deception +8, Insight +7, Stealth +7 Senses passive Perception 14 Languages Common, Draconic, Elvish Challenge 7 (2900 XP) Recall Weapon. Whenever Alesia makes a ranged attack using one of her chakram, the weapon returns to her hand at the end of her turn. Sneak Attack. Once per turn, Alesia deals an extra 7 (2d6) damage when she hits a target with a weapon attack and has advantage on the attack roll, or when the target is within 5 feet of an ally of Alesia that isn't incapacitated and Alesia doesn't have disadvantage on the attack roll. Stone Cold Slayer. Any creature reduced to 0 hit points by Alesia is magically petrified. As long as the creature remains petrified, it cannot be raised from the dead. Alesia can end the effect by touching the petrified creature. The effect can also be ended by spilling one or more drops of Alesia's blood on the petrified creature, or by the greater restoration spell or similar magic. Actions Multiattack. Alesia makes two chakram attacks, or makes one chakram attack and casts an at will spell. Chakram. Melee or Ranged Weapon Attack: +7 to hit, reach 5 ft., or range 30/90 ft., one target. Hit: 7 (1d6+4) slashing damage and the target must succeed on a DC 15 Wisdom saving throw or suffer one additional effect of Alesia's choice: • If the target moves during its next turn, it takes 5 (2d4) psychic damage for every 5 feet it travels. • The target moves up to 10 feet in a direction of Alesia's choice, and is knocked prone. Spellcasting. Alesia casts one of the following spells, using Charisma as the spellcasting ability (spell save DC 15): At will: command, vicious mockery (9th level) 3/day: charm person 1/day each: black tentacles (deals poison damage instead of bludgeoning), dominate person, locate creature, polymorph, suggestion

13th Age

Alesia Gravelstoke 7th level caster [humanoid] Initiative: +13 C: Bewildering Chakram +12 vs. AC (one nearby enemy) - 22 damage Natural 12+: The target takes 10 psychic damage if it moves on its next turn. Natural 18+: Alesia regains the use of reeling chakram if it’s expended. C: Reeling Chakram +12 vs. AC (one nearby enemy) - 32 damage, and the target pops free from all enemies and loses its next move action Limited Use: 1/battle. R: Toxic Tendrils +12 vs. PD (1d3 nearby enemies in a group) - The target is stuck and takes 12 ongoing poison damage (save ends both) Limited Use: 2/battle, when the escalation die is even. Stone Cold Slayer: When Alesia drops an enemy to 0 hit points or lower, that enemy must begin making last gasp saves. On the fourth failure, the enemy dies and is turned to stone. While petrified in this way, the target can’t be returned to life. The effect can be ended if Alesia willingly touches the statue, or by spilling a few drops of Alesia’s blood onto it. AC 23 PD 18 MD 21 HP 100