#and it's like “damn it wasn't the focus bc we desperately needed more time with the demons/demon culture

[fullscoreshenanigans]

why they draw them like that tho

[wenjunehui]

you 🤝 me: We Need To Eat Lee Felix ASAP

but also [deranged screaming] this is my first comeback with them as a stay and i'm going to go insane because EVERYTHING about this comeback will not let me live like ?????????????? please stop for my sanity despite having none in the first place

my first comeback was noeasy (? somewhere around there) so i've been around awhile but it's always been like. oh yeah those men hot but anyway what about jun. i had bigger and better things to focus on so i didnt really try to get super into them 😔 and it took me the LONGEST time to choose a bias bc i just liked them so casually and i wasn't super attached to any of them (and also my ex friend was crazyyy about hyunjin so i was like damn ok girl u can have him chill ! she almost put a hole in her tv once watching the red lights mv but that's a whole nother thing). then by the time oddinary came out i had watched a little more and knew them a little better (lots of chan/felix compilations in my youtube history bc theyre so silly together little guys) and i was like okay yeah its official. that dude is My Man. he's just so auuuurghhhhh grrrrr bark bark bark i love him but at first i just picked him bc i liked him the best even tho i still didn't know that much about them. and then like for some reason in the last couple months something just clicked and i've been feral deranged foaming at the mouth over him ever since like idk what happened but one day out of the blue i woke up and i was like. must eat him must eat him must eat him i need that man carnally viscerally desperately. i have probably read every single felix fic on this app in the last week i've literally just been scrolling thru the felix fluff/smut/etc tags every night for hours like i am down BAD. definitely not more that svt and definitely not ult status yet but like. he is climbing the charts i fear he is getting closer (svt pun). also a friend from the kpop club at my school recently dropped her skz collection and gave me like 6 felix photocards and i was like well fuck now i need MORE of him and so then i bought all their recent albums and my wallet is very unhappy about that but serotonin part of brain is very happy about that. silly little man cards make happy chemical go brr

[yuukei-yikes]

Tell us about Shinaya’s breakup :D

HEHDJEIDNEKFJEKDKEK ive had this ask since i posted i was thinking abt it MAN i cannot express to u i just. I WANNA WRITE A FIC SO BAD but AUGH im so bad at it it makes me cringe i cant do that but its basically like all my damn posts together u know. i keep thinking of shintaro's disastrous relationships post str going from ayano to kano to takane etcetc sorry im playing with him like a stress toy making him go thru hell but its so fun

srry i dont wanna have to rewrite a lot of stuff so erm im liking this answer 🫡🫡🫡 and i could link a bunch more just so u SEE MY VISION... but i think linking that is enough. ON AND OFF SHINAYA MY BELOVED

shintaro and ayano sort of having this ridiculous relationship because both are hurting and jumped in a relationship too quick but fighting/being sad about stupid shit is so much easier than dealing with their actual issues that they've got with themselves. like focusing on each other and what they don't like about each other and their relationship is so much easier than crying about how suicidal they are. lollllll SO LIKE this insanity sort of saves them at the same time??

i mean the most ideal would be that instead of getting together they got therapy and the normal kind not the relationship kind. you know. but also theyre traumatized and ugh. its so much easier to resent each other than themselves. its so much easier to be petty. its such a relief to cry over relationship problems than over timeline resets or dead parents and etc. YOU GET ME?????

they keep breaking up and getting back together ridiculously like it is 1000% so dramatic each and everytime. ayano crying her eyes out like its the end of the world and shintaro making 100 sad playlists. and it happens at least monthly. the first time everyone's like WHOA THEY BROKE UP!?!? SHIT!! the second time its like heyyy maybe they'll work it out like last time!! third time its like are you joking. fourth time they're already begging them to stop. by they i mean the dan but especially takane by the way. who do you think is picking up the pieces.

and by the way the one breaking up all the time and being dramatic as hell is shintaro. he gets angry and annoyed and weaponizes the LETS BREAK UP thing because he DOESNT MEAN IT. like he knows he and ayano will work it out later. he gets comfortable again. not to get on the ayano surviving thing, but i think ayano (and hiyori but especially ayano) making it out alive undoes a big part of the message abt moving on. like i love her so im not complaining thats i love having her alive :3 but i like to translate this into shintaro like. he's intensely trying to repress/process all the memories of the other timelines to cope and have a normal life and ends up being this way because he's sort of self sabotaging himself. like ayano's alive and she likes me??? lol. ok?? ill wake up any moment now!! and he feels guilty and undeserving and is sort of a dickhead to her in an unconscious attempt of keeping her away because that's what he deserves according to him. also why he's accepting of takane's intense obsession with him lol bc she's familiar and she is comfortable, unlike ayano who is so rare and one in its kind in all the timelines. he is sort of terrified of her in a way.

the lets break up isnt rly a breakup. its just a leave me alone see u later. LOL i think we talk too much abt kanoshin bringing the worst in each other but what about shinaya. they do that too. yeah we CAN have fluffy shinaya. but like i said it is so easy to focus all this bitterness and sadness into each other and it's so relieving to be sad and angry about this rather than everything else. because this is sort of in their control while everything else isn't, wasn't. and its so unfair. of course its unfair!! but they cant do anything abt it. so they just go crazy on each other. ayano is DESPERATE to be needed. i could link more replies but i will hold myself back. basically her siblings are used to being alone/know she has her own problems and ayano is dealing with this emptiness and feeling of failure bc no one needs her, from her perspective her sacrifice still failed to save everyone, her parents are gone so she needs to step up. like she puts herself under all this pressure and feels Not Good Enough for ANYTHING. and she is dating shintaro.

it's EASY to bother him and try to get him to open up and etc so she ridiculously focuses on that. but it gets on shintaro's nerves to say the least LOL plus all his other issues i mentioned 🫡plus she keeps being like we have to be normal. lets kiss and hold hands and cuddle. but she's too embarrassed to say it/do it and shintaro is even more pathetic about it. so theyre both frustrated about everything and can barely even sit next to each other without acting insane.

AND SORRY BUT I WILL TALK ABT TAKANE🫡💞💗💖💝💕💘ofc. codependent shintaka. of course. it drives ayano CRAZY because on top of all their problems takane is able to talk sense into shintaro each and every single time. and she is soooo jealous like she knows its stupid but she cant help ittt i ALSO TALKED ABT THIS SORRY I KEEP REPEATING MYSELF IM JUST SO CRzy abt it. hehe......the whole mess bringing drama to harutaka too bc shintaro and ayano are so messy theyre contagious is so fun to me. when it comes to shintaro and takane's horrible relationship both their romantic relationships suffer for it but deal with it completely differently. while both haruka and ayano deal with jealousy somewhat, ayano is so hurt and already at the verge of a mental breakdown so she's focusing so many negative emotions on it and AGAIN it just serves as another point of argument between shintaro and ayano while haruka is like. his mental state isnt as convoluted as ayanos, he's rather freaking out and terrified of being left alone. THIS IS ABT SHINAYA so i wont get into harutaka side but lol. heh. Looks at it. zooms in it. like what i mean is that haruka and takane talk and work through it and are like sighs yeah...this is messed up while shintaro and ayano are using it against each other instead of working on it LMAO

ANYWAYS. ayano breaks up with shintaro. vine boom. total breakdown moment like everyone out of the room i wanna talk to you alone. and this time its for REAL. like ayano isnt confrontational at all, all their arguments are always her being pushy abt idk mental health and shintaro's like godddd STOPPPPP and ayano crying and shintaro being like I CANNOT DEAL WITH THAT. IM SORRY I GUESS. CAN U GET OUT OF THE ROOM. WE'LL TALK LATER. but he also sucks so bad at letting the other person know they can count on him so he kind of assumes ayano will do it when she's ready because he KNOWS she's in pain. like. ofc it could go well. ofc shintaro and ayano could work through everything with kindness and comprehension for each other but they're both so sad and suddenly find themselves annoyed at each other one time and it felt so freeing to do that that they just keep doing it. especially shintaro. having ayano be mad at him is sort of relieving because he feels undeserving of her and its like yeah. Yeah!! i know its ooc but shinaya screaming match.god. sorry but all their bottled up emotions abt everything and they take it out on each other for no reason other than theyre giving each other the space and it plays out that way. theyre acting crazy about something so stupid like shintaro not wanting ayano to wear his clothes or whatever. like they scream about that but its not about that. it just feels so good to scream. it feels so good to scream and let it out even if they haven't given themselves the time to process that theyre not... actually screaming abt that at all. theyre screaming about everything else. not even about each other. its about themselves. its always been.its never been about each other. when it is, its stupid. thats why they do it. its just easier. God. they were just not ready for a relationship, especially not one with each other out of all people.

ayano breaks first, therefore dumps shintaro lol. he goes thru his own fucked up arc afterwards while ayano gets help. my man spirals DOWN. whether they get back together or not depends on my mood 🤨 but if they do, its by the time theyre in their mid twenties or something so a few years later LOL i picture them dating like for over a year maybe?? when theyre 18/19. hehe.

like. do you get it.

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XLI

It was a love story from the very beginning.

I Want You Here

(9x02/9x03 2nd part/9x04/9x05)

Hello my friends! This is the second Destiel meta from season 9.

We are gonna talk about how Dean was worried about Castiel and he wanted him in the bunker ... Obviously we will talk about how their reunion was cocklblocked by Zeke (Gadreel).

I want to say thank you to my friend @agusvedder she made the gifs for this meta! Love ya girl!

Let's start...

Human!Cas and sex

In episode 9x03, Castiel ended at the street, frozen, under the rain and hungry.

That's when April appears, showing him kindness, she offered him a jelly and peanut butter sandwich. I know it has to be the most delicious food in the world for this hungry poor ex angel, and also the representation of human's kindness.

But Castiel was deceived by this woman/reaper.

She showed him good actions, she took are of his wounds... She even listened him...

He felt comfortable with her, because she made him believe in her. Castiel opened his heart and confessed why he had ended like this... He talked about vanity, now, after his fall, he understood a lot of things...

Sorry... I just... Was drooling a little over Misha's perfection....

I'm back now.

APRIL: Well, all patched up, but, God, your delts are in knots. You got to relax.

Yeah, bitch, any excuse is a good excuse to touch our beautiful angel, right? 😒

CASTIEL: Ah, it's all new to me. Hunger. Cold. This feeling, being all alone.

APRIL: You're not alone tonight.

Aaaand you know what happens next.

But let's just stop in Castiel's words... He was feeling alone, a very cold sensation he wasn't use to. He was always that self secure angel, not needing anyone to do anything. And now, feeling the most sad side of humanity, our miseries, he feels a lot of things... But one of them was LONELINESS. (I just can't forget season 14 when he recalls this and said to Jack HE WASN'T ALONE, HE HAD SAM, DEAN AND HIMSELF, I just love his improvement.)

He had sex with April, when she lied to him. And not just that, but she began to torture him and she even killed him. It was a horrendous violent act and Castiel was exposed to that.

Next scene was Dean and Sam arriving... But it was too late...

The despair in Dean's face is eloquent. He is desperate, his voice cracked, and he's touching Castiel's shoulder and face. His Express changes when he realizes Cas is dead.

But we know what happened next, Zeke/Gadreel saves Cas to win more confidence from Dean.

Now... Let's continue with the sex over here...

The burritos scene is a classic between Destiel shippers because it's sexual innuendo and Dean's blatant facial expressions. And we had jealous!Dean too.

This had been analyzed by a lot of meta writers, so I won't add any new, because it was obvious that when Castiel came out from the shower ...

A very horny Dean imagining his hot "buddy" enjoying the water falling over his well formed naked body, and there you have that face there. Just for our inquisitive and attentive eyes... Why the camera would focus Dean and not Sam after the shower line? Because Dean is affected by that... And that's why we got that quote from the hunter, suggestively bitting the burrito (may a say a dick mirror? 🤣🤣) "It ain't all just burritos and burritos, my friend," like... There's dicks too, may I show you?

Dean feels more free to make this kind of approaches to Castiel, because he knows the boundary that was there separating them for being more, is gone now. Cas wasn't an angel anymore. And maybe Dean could teach him some about sex life.

Then, the scene switched to jealous!Dean when Castiel mentioned April.

Look at this, a very classic, we love this, that's why I will talk about it, even if you readed a lot of references... We are Destiel trash and we love it...

Watch... Cas says he had sex, Sam and Dean are surprised, but both of them reacts differently. Sam grimaced an UH! And immediately drifts his eyes to his brother, why? Because he wants to caught his brother's reaction, why?, Because he suspects his brother feels something more than just friendship for Castiel.

And Dean chocking with that burrito, hilarious, his serious and jealous face is fantastic, like if he was scolding Castiel for that, he even points at him "You had sex with April?" Is like YOU CHEATED ON ME?

Just for a few seconds, because, is good, is good for Castiel. He isn't a Virgen anymore... So he had tasted having sex like any human? That's a good thing!

Dean is proud and happy to have Cas there. Happy because maybe he will have an opportunity with Human!Cas who already had had sex with another human. Like... Possibilities are huge!

Obviously we had Zeke/Gadreel cockblocking the possibilities.

Not comfortable with the L word and ...

Let's jump a little to episode 9x02, at the beginning, Dean and Sam were talking about Cas, they were waiting still for him to arrive, Dean tried to show himself cool, saying Cas was a big guy.

But when the episode keeps going, we ha d a very important encounter between Dean and Abaddon. The dialogue was a foreshadow of Demon!Dean plot.

Abaddon wanted Dean's body to use it like meat suit.

She even asked...

ABADDON: It can get worse. Trust me. 'Cause once I'm on top, I'll make you watch. And I'll use your body. Have you ever felt an infant's blood drip down your chin? Or listened to a girl scream as you rip her guts out? Because you will. It's you and me, lover. We'll have a grand old time.

The infant blood just recalled to when Dean, with Cain's mark, killed the boy from the Steins family in the bunker.

But after this, we had Zeke/Gadreel saving the day, and this dialogue between them...

Dean is uncomfortable with the use of LOVE word. Maybe bc he isn't used to talk about it, or feel it. Or because his toxic masculinity, doesn't leave him to talk about it. So is a uncomfortable word, and it shows in his face.

In 9x04, after Dean kicked out Cas from the bunker, I will talk about this later (no, I didn't forget 🤣), Sam was confused about that fact, and the brother had a tiny conversation over it... And Dean said this important lines...

HE WANTS CASTIEL IN THE BUNKER WITH HIM, MORE THAN ANYONE, MORE THAN SAM OBVIOUSLY, BECAUSE SAM AND CAS ARE JUST FRIENDS, BUT FOR DEAN, CASTIEL IS MORE THAN FAMILY, HE IS IN LOVE WITH CAS AND HE IS DISAPPOINTED AND SAS BECAUSE HE CAN'T HAVE HIM THERE, WITH HIM. And because he had wished to be more than friends, maybe physically, now than they didn't have any attachments or restrictions to do that.

Later, on the same episode, we will see Charlie and Dean in his room, and Charlie noticing this...

Okay, this is very exppsitional for Bi!Dean over here... Because Charlie (as always) is pointing that he has that collection of boobs but... He... Like... This isn't the real you.

And Dean says... Don't judge me.

Perfect my friends... I loved it.

And because Dean is still in the closet, as we saw with Charlie and the whole toxic masculinity, in 9x05 Dog Dean Afternoon, we had this piece of dialogue from the one talking dog, the Yorkie.

YORKIE: Ohh, a – a cowboy hat, leather pants. The dude's a total closet case.

Okay this reference is applicable to Dean too! Even in that freaking episode... We had a couple of things...

The Sad Destiel Scene

Okay, before ending this meta, I want to talk briefly about Dean kicking out Castiel from the bunker, because to me, it was a manipulation from Zeke, but it was a tool to keep Cas and Dean separated and create a little fight an resentment between them... Because the drama and everything... 😒

But we'll the scene is very sad, because CAS even made it word saying this...

My sweet little ex-angel there... He even pull back a chair for Dean... He likes to talk with Dean... He's such a cute and sweet and educated little ... Awwwww but he didn't know his heart was about to be ripped apart.

Look at his face!!!!!!!!!! Was Dean breaking his heart or what? Damn...

Okay... Circular narrative in which in season 8 Dean was in one sided love and Cas broke his heart, now in season 9 is in reverse. Castiel aknowledged by now his feelings, so I suspect he recognized his attraction to Dean was love. But... Now... Dean is kicking him off from the bunker... Without a good reason... Lying to him.

Can I die here... I won't bother you...

More Demon!Dean foreshadow (Miscellaneous)

I just wanted to out here two things I noticed...

In episode 9x04 we had a two man of letters from the past. They were partners and they were Sam and Dean mirror. One of them under the witch's powerful spell, tried to kill to Sam's mirror, and this was a foreshadow for Demon!Dean plot again, that time when he was trying to kill Sam in the bunker too.

Another little detail was what the monster said in episode 9x05 when he was fighting with Dean.

CHEF LEO: Well, I didn't mean to kill anyone – at first. But if people got in my way, they became collateral damage. Guess you eat enough predators, you start to become one. You are what you eat, right? [laughs]

This is a reference to Dean future transformation into a monster (with Cain's mark on him) and later into a Demon. The hunter that becomes what he hunts.

To Conclude:

Castiel's innocence and despair leads him to April, the reaper that deceives him by taking advantage of his human situation.

Dean wanted Cas to be with him in the bunker because he knew Human Cas and him could have maybe an opportunity to develop something more than just friendship.

Toxic Masculinity in Dean is manifested through a lot of piece of dialogues, showing us how hard will be for him to defeat that... Persisting till now... I hope not for too long. I guess episode 15x07 was very important to show us that toxicity is ending, and the whole Healing!Dean plot in season 14.

There were too some foreshadows for Demon!Dean and Cain's mark.

I hope you enjoy this one, see you in the next Chronicles!

Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica

If you want to be tagged, just let me know

If you want to read the previous volume from season 9, here is the link.

Buenos Aires December 11st 2019 4:59 PM

[misstinfoilhat]

I have a prompt if you like it :) I'd LOVE to read some parental Roy or Havoc where Ed or Al start wondering or already know but struggles with accepting or having people know he's not straight, and him going to the parental figure to talk about it or "subtly" "asking for a friend". I feel like this could work even tho they're not that close, similar to how many ppl choose to come out to s/o they're not that close to first (yk bc if they mind at least it wasn't s/o very close to them to lose)

All right! My first prompt. I’m gonna try to write it- I’ve had some time to think about it now, and I hope it’s what you want!  The door to Colonel Roy Mustang’s office flung open, slamming into the wall behind it, leaving yet another imprint telling any visitor that Edward Elric had been here.  Roy growled silently, pinching the bridge of his nose while assessing how much the damage would cost to fix once he finally moved his way up the ranks and left this office to the next stringed puppet.  “Report,” Edward announced obnoxiously, hurling the crumpled paper onto the desk in front of the exasperated man and immediately turned to march back out. Instinctively, Roy reached out and grabbed the red coat that floated in front of him, and was able to drag the brat back. Edward grunted in annoyance, and crossed his arms defiently, while Roy picked up the paper to look it over.  “Fullmetal... Is this crayon?” Roy exclaimed in disbelief.  “What? I didn’t have a pen!” Edward complained in response.   “But you had a yellow crayon?”  “I borrowed it from some kid on the train. He said I couldn’t have the red one.” Roy had no idea how to answer that. Instead, he covered his expression with his hands, dragging them down his face wearily. “I can’t... I can’t send in a report to the Fuhrer, barely legible in yellow crayon, Fullmetal. Even that tiny brain of yours has to understand that.”  “Hey!” Ed shouted angrily.“That’s what you get for demanding the report the second we’re back in Central, bastard colonel!”  “How naïve of me to think that you somehow would be able to access a pen on a four-day train ride.”   Edward pouted and blew raspberries at his superior. With mismatching arms still crisscrossed, he turned his face away and pointed his nose towards the ceiling in obstinance. He shot a quick glance towards the door, and Roy realized that he seemed to have a worry knitted in his eyebrows.  Roy pondered for a moment, suddenly realizing what was missing.  “Edward, where’s Alphonse?”  Edward froze up, only seeming to hold his arms tighter. Roy couldn’t help but notice the inner turmoil probably raging inside the fifteen-year-olds brain at his questions.  Damnit. He didn’t have time for this.  “Fullmetal, talk to me or I swear I will have you court marshalled for wasting my time.”  “You can’t do that,” he retorted but didn’t look entirely sure. He did a double-take, watching the exit longingly before groaning loudly and collapsing onto the chair in front of the messy wooden desk.  Roy didn’t say anything, just folded his hands and waited for the vertically challenged teen to spill.  “We had a fight,” he finally muttered, defeatedly.  Roy wanted to roll his eyes. This wasn’t some kind of school counselling office. Talk about wasting his time. He was not paid to sit and hear about two young brothers having a quarrel. But then again, if this was any other teens, they probably would be in school, and having this conversation with an actual counseller. He had made damn sure that didn’t happen.  God, he hated karma.  “Go on,” he heard himself say, settling in for a tedious recital consisting of “he said, she said”.  “I don’t know... He’s just been acting really strange ever since we left Xenotime. I mean, it was a pretty strange mission, but he’s just been really quiet, or irritable and unreasonable when finally speaking, ever since.”  Roy swiftly glanced across the report for clarification.  “Ah, yes. Where you met those two brothers that pretended to be you two,” he confirmed.  “Yeah,” Edward sighed silently. “I don’t know what’s going on with him. He snapped at me when I tried to ask and went straight to the library once we arrived here.”  Edward looked absolutely beat by this. The sorrow in his golden eyes twinged something in Roy’s heart, and he tried to get rid of the useless pain he felt for his depressed subordinate. But, he already knew that he wasn’t going to be able to concentrate on his work for the rest of the day if he didn’t at least try to help. He exhaled deeply to be overly dramatic. “To be fair, you are pretty insufferable,” he murmured with a cheeky grin. Some of the well known Elric-fire could once again be recognized in the kid, as Ed reacted to his words But as quickly as it appeared, it disappeared again.  “I can try to talk to him if you want?” 

Even Roy was shocked by the words that left his mouth. That was not what he was going to say. He was just kinda trying to lighten the mood with some... ill-timed jokes. Shit. That karma again.  “I guess you could try,” Edward sulked, slightly unwilling to admit that he was, in fact, very relieved. If Roy demanded to know what was going on with Al, Alphonse wouldn’t dare to react the same way as he had done with him. 

The small hallway between the offices and library was way too short. Before Roy had even figured out what his opening line would be, he was standing only a few feet from the boy.  Alright, Roy-boy. You can do this. Think like Maes. What would Maes say? Whatever you say to a fourteen-year-old boy’s soul stuck to a giant suit of armor of course... This is gonna be a shit-show. 

“Alphonse,” he greeted carefully, closing the distance between himself and the suit, seated crosslegged on the floor between a tower of books. Alphonse looked up from the text he was reading.  “Oh. Hi, Colonel Mustang.”  Edward was right. The kid seemed different. His voice, which was usually so cheery and sounded so energetic, was just a flat mumbling. Also, it always seemed so important for Alphonse to greet the Colonel properly with respect. Now, he was already back into the pages of the book he was reading. 

“Are you... reading something useful about the stone?” he tried instead, hoping that would trigger the boy’s talkative side. That didn’t happen. All of a sudden, Al startled violently, slamming the book shut and hiding it behind his back.  “I- no, no. I- that was the wrong book. I was gonna get the one next to it,” Alphonse blurted out, fidgeting around- making sure the book was safely hidden behind him and a couple of the rest of them lying with spine facing him, obscuring their titles.  That was certainly strange... Wait, did they have porn in that library? Gosh, maybe that would make research slightly more... No. No, no, no! Focus. “Is anything the matter?” Roy tried instead, shaking himself out of his curious musings.   “No,” Alphonse replied way too quickly, desperately starting to bag up the shielded books. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m just tired... or, err... you know. I just need some peace and quiet after the long mission.”  “Your brother said you two had some kind of fight. Is that what’s been bothering you?”  Alphonse visibly paused, his arm still tucked inside his small brown leather bag. Maybe, just maybe... He could talk to the colonel about this... No. No, he couldn’t talk to anyone. Nobody could know. His brother would hate him if he knew he had these strange... he wouldn’t call them urges- he wasn’t actually sure if he was even able to have those- but feelings. Feelings he shouldn’t have towards someone he definitely shouldn’t.  “You know, for a suit of armor, you’re pretty expressive,” Roy chuckled, leaning lazily on the door frame.  “What?” What had he expressed? Did he know? How could he know!? “It’s your body language. Which, I guess is expected. You don’t really have too many other ways of showing your emotions.”  “I... I guess not. What,” he needed to be careful of what he was saying. One slip up and his life would be even more over than it already felt. “...what do you think I’m I portraying right now?”

“Honestly? You look terrified.” 

Oh. Fuc-freak!  When Alphonse didn’t answer, instead only kept staring at his book-bag, Roy took it as permission to continue. 

“You know, your brother is pretty worried. He couldn’t even think of any good retorts to my short jokes.”  Alphonse tilted his head towards the colonel for a moment, before lowering his gaze again, clearly guilt-ridden. “I didn’t mean to hurt him,” he uttered finally. “But he was just pestering me- going on and on about how I was acting strange and I just... didn’t want to talk to him about it...” “He’s not mad, he’s just wo-” “...I mean, I didn’t hit him that hard anyway.” “...rried. You punched Fullmetal?” 

“I- The bruise on his cheek wasn’t me, that was this... other kid. Russel, his name was. Mine didn’t leave a mark, I don’t think...” 

Roy slowly blinked, trying to digest all of this information. If there was anything in the report about Ed being in a fistfight with some other kid, Roy hadn’t been able to decipher it from the colorful chicken-scratches on the piece of paper on his desk. 

But, that was not what this was about. 

“Listen, Alphonse. I get that this...whatever it is that is bothering you, is hard to talk about. I’m not sure if I’m the right person for you to talk to anyway. But it’s clearly bothering you a lot. I just think you’d maybe feel better if you talked about it.” Hesitant, he got closer to the hulking armor and lay an awkward hand on his shoulder piece.  Alphonse went silent and stayed silent for a long time.  Roy was starting to worry if he had hit some kind of off switch when Alphonse finally met his gaze. 

“How... how does it feel like to be in love?”  That was not what Roy had expected. He wasn’t sure just what he was expecting, but this would probably be one of the absolute last things. But, he had also been a fourteen-year-old boy with a crush once upon a time, more years ago than he liked to think about, so this should be within his comfort zone. Somewhat. 

“Uh, well... I guess it’s different for everybody but... I guess the first thing I usually feel is a tingling sensation in my stomach.”

“I... I can’t feel that,” Al sulked. Something in his voice had turned more desperate, which only made Roy feel panicked.  A different strategy, then. 

“Well, that’s not the only thing do. You... you enjoy her company and want to spend more time with her than other people in your life I guess. She’ll make you feel accepted for who you are, hopefully. You... usually find her physically attractive too.” 

Thoughtfully, Alphonse nodded, unfortunately not seeming any more uplifted. 

“Anything else that’s on your mind?” 

Alphonse hesitated. “And... what if the person you... you love... isn’t a she?” 

Roy wasn’t able to hide his surprise at that. Al visibly recoiled and waved his hands frantically. 

“N-not me. I’m talking about... about someone else. Someone I met at the mission.” 

Roy looked at him skeptically. “Uhu,” he murmured. He wasn’t about to point out the ‘I can’t feel tingles in my stomach’ part. If this was how Alphonse needed to handle this, it would have to do for now. “And this someone, is he afraid of these feelings?” 

“Very,” Alphonse answered immediately. 

“Well,” this was definitely out of Roy’s comfort zone. “You should tell your friend that he probably has a lot of accepting people around him, who’ll love him unconditionally. And that... the people who don’t, don’t matter. It will be hard at times. There will be people who’ll discriminate against him and make him feel small and unimportant, but he’s not. As long as he remembers that, I think he’ll be okay.” 

Roy had Alphonse’s full attention now. In his awe, Alphonse hadn’t realized that he had froze in motion. The last book, the one he’d hid behind his back, was clutched in his left hand, while he was holding the bag in his right. 

The title of the book read clearly “Understanding sexuality”. Roy had seen the book before. It was one of the books recommended in the academy. There was a readlist for those who chose to pursue interrogation techniques and profiling.

Roy nodded faintly towards the book. “That’s a good read. I read it during my time at the academy. You should recommend it to your friend too.” 

If Al could blush, he would have. He quickly stuck the book into the sack. “Y-yeah, I’ll do that. Thank you, colonel. I feel a little bit better now.” 

“Good,” Roy said honestly, aware that this would not be over anytime soon. But it was a start. 

“And Alphonse...” The helmet perked back up. “I’m pretty sure that your friend has a brother who loves him very much and will not think any less of him if he shares what on his mind. I think he will be proud.” 

Alphonse replied with a couple of rapid, shaky nods and wrapped the strap of the bag over his shoulder and got up from the floor. “I hope so. Thank you. I should probably take brother home now. I think I need to apologize to him for acting irrational. And for punching him.” 

He started walking, and Roy quickly matched his pace to walk beside him, holding a reassuring, much sturdier hand on his shoulder. 

“Don’t worry about him. I’m sure he deserved it.” 

“Al!” a shrieking voice yelled from the open door in Mustang’s office. Edward stood, annoyance and uneasiness rivaling as his main expression.  This time, Roy noticed the faint, yellowing bruise on his cheek. He also had a clear, starting black eye which must have darkened in his time waiting in his office. 

“I’m okay, brother,” Al exclaimed with a prominent lightness in his voice that hadn’t been there before. Roy smiled. 

Edward looked unsure, chewing on his bottom lip as he contemplated about if he believed him or not. 

“Okay, I’m glad. Let’s go home,” Ed decided and walked over to where the two considerably taller figures stood, just outside the office. He shot a questioning glance towards Roy. 

“Yeah, you probably should,” Roy agreed easily. “Fullmetal needs to re-write his report so it’s ready at my desk at nine tomorrow morning.” 

Before Edward could get to physically attacking his superior officer and risk actually getting court marshaled for giving Mustang a matching black eye, Al quickly caught him and carried him gingerly under his arm out of the offices, leaving an echo of curses and other profanities behind them as the disappeared out of the HQ.  Roy wasn’t actually expecting the report in the morning. If Alphonse decided to wear his heart on his sleeve and tell Edward about what he was going through, the brothers had a long night ahead of them. 

Good thing they had each other. If it was anyone else, things might be a lot more difficult. It would still be, but a child that had offered up his arm after already having lost a leg to save his little brother from dying, wouldn’t make that sacrifice go to waste. Al would still be Al. And Ed inevitably would keep on being Ed.  Nah. They would be alright.