#and it's frustrating bc it's a hard balance to strike between 'centering myself in your suffering when you're the one going through it' | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

the-moogle-of-your-nightmares · 1 year ago

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[alarming health stuff, internalized ableism cw]

no, moogle, it is not in fact fishing for sympathy or making excuses for dropping the ball on things or whatever to talk about it when your health issues continue to get worse. you are not scaring people for attention when you post on your personal blog about the fact that you aren't sure yet whether your current condition might be 'dangerous but recoverable' or 'irreversible, incurable, and usually fatal.' stop that.

#moogletalks #negative cw #depressing shit cw #medical issues cw #it does not help that people close to me have been deeply careless and cruel before about treating me as an afterthought #when at serious risk and using me as their primary support #the feelings of the person at risk largely take precedence #but sometimes people use that as a blank check to inflict maximum unnecessary trauma on other people because I'm the One Suffering #see: adult who is suffering immensely and genuinely and is at the end of their rope and needs an outlet #and decides the nearest child to hand is acceptable; and proceeds to dump all their problems on them and traumatize them for life #among a huge range of other examples #and it's frustrating bc it's a hard balance to strike between 'centering myself in your suffering when you're the one going through it'#and 'hey please remember that i am also a person capable of suffering and trauma; and that that matters'#anyway yeah i've had people do this to me in various ways before and i hate the idea of doing it to other people #and that makes navigating internalized ableism re: my mental and physical health issues really hard #few things will internalize shit as deeply as 'someone harmed me in ways adjacent to what i'm dealing with now'#'and i don't want to do to other people what they did to me'

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