#and it's because they ALRAEDY HAVE BEEN and butch/femme are still right there

[colorisbyshe]

I think i saw someone once conflate bear/twink with butch/femme respectively as the gay male alternative and... dont think that's how that works, i've known many a femme bear

Lmaooo god

I try to not be too flippant about the butch/femme discourse because I know it comes from a hurt space where communities have been violated and infiltrated. Where no LGBT group can have their own shit because there’s morons saying you can be an aroace gay man or a bisexual lesbian or you can be queer because your dick only works on thursdays and fridays or whatever

Like... I get it.

“This is mine, I don’t want you to take it from me” is a valid thing, especially when we know that when those things are taken, they lose/change meaning to the point of creating tangible harm.

This is not one of those cases. This is like a group of people baking cookies together, going “Oh, this is gonna be our thing we do every week together,” and then some people leaving the baking party upset that the other people are eating the cookies... that you all baked together. They aren’t “yours,” they’re OURS and have been since cookie mix was invented.

The only one trying to take away the cookies are the ones insisting they’re only for them.

And then trying to point to gay men and bi men and... yes, bisexual women, and go “Actually, you use BROWNIES for your sweets, THESE terms are your equivalent, like, no, bear/twink aren’t butch/femme alternatives... neither are stag/doe lmao

I think one of the easiest indicators of “Has this person ever actually talked to LGBT people over the age of 30 or like... done even basic skimming of LGBT history” is how exclusive they think the terms butch/femme are... NOT even getting in the fact that cishets use the term butch and like... femme is just a french word (does anyone remember when some like... forever 21 shirt had the word woman/women in multiple languages and it had the word femme on it because... france and people called it appropriation??)

I really think there’s an issue in online LGBT culture where issues are being conflated with each other. Like cishets casually using the word queer is not comparable to butch/femme being “stolen” by people who have been using the terms since their conception. A bi man calling his bi bf butch isn’t the same as a cishet girl calling herself her man’s femme. Femme bisexual is not comparable to someone using the term bisexual lesbian.

This is just a lot of pissing on the ground to mark territory and it all fucking reeks.

And, just like any other case of pissing in public, it’s majorly embarrassing to be witnessing the pissing. Like it does not belong here. Lmao.

Like please just read a book... talk to a LGBT person who didn’t learn everything from twitter threads and tumblr rants... touch a blade of grass and maybe think long and hard about why THIS is the hill you want to die on