#and it's always in the most random and surprisingly anticlimactic ways

[transingthoseformers]

We need to focus on her more

I’m feral about this design it’s not funny

I've thought so many times about post epilogue Megatron and post rid Optimus finding their way back to each other and falling back in love again

Grab Megatron's waist

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Billy Loomis

(Not my gif)(Requested by @loodloottoot)

- You met Billy when the two of you ended up in the same class. He noticed you while looking around the room and was immediately taken with you.

- All throughout class, he kept sneaking glances at you, barely paying attention to the teacher as they talked. When the bell rung, he sat back in his seat and watched you leave, deciding that he had to have you right then and there.

- He starts out by doing the typical ‘I have a crush on you’ secret staring and learning more about you; most likely through Stu or by listening in on your conversations. He wants to make sure that you’re the one for him before he shoots his shot; he’s artful when picking people that he actually wants to date, there’s more steps involved.

- Once he’s gathered enough data on you, he’ll sit next to you in class, lean over, and introduce himself with a charming smile. You introduce yourself back; most likely a little flustered by the sudden attention, and then class will start, ending your potential conversation.

- He tries to talk with you all week but his plans are always foiled by something or someone. One of you will show up to class too late, someone will take the seat next to yours, you’ll be busy talking to a friend, someone will distract him and you’ll disappear; and so on. It frustrates him more than he cares to admit.

- Finally, he figures that he has to work a little bit harder so he strategically waits outside of the school with some of his friends. I say strategically because he made sure he had a perfect view of the doors everyone leaves out of when classes end.

- The instant he spots you, he excuses himself and jogs over, greeting you and asking what you’re planning on doing after school. The two of you strike up a bit of a conversation before you’re forced to say goodbye and board your bus. It may seem anticlimactic but to him, it’s a crucial point in your budding relationship.

- After that, he just seems to keep popping up wherever you are; in school at least. Unbeknownst to you, it’s not exactly a coincidence.

- The two of you form a bit of a friendship, and why wouldn’t you? He’s charismatic, fun to talk to, isn’t put off by anything, and pleasantly reserved so it feels like you’re special because he chooses to speak “with you of all people”. If you’re shy then congratulations, you’ve found the one person who is tactfully persistent enough to break down your walls.

- It’s probably a few months before anything of value happens, besides being integrated into his friend group and telling each other some of the things you usually don’t tell people.

- One day, while the two of you are walking to class, he asks if you like horror movies movies. When you ask him why, he tells you that he’s renting a few films and was wondering if you wanted to join him for a bit of a marathon.

- It’s sounds so casual that you’re sure he just wants to hang out as friends, but regardless, you agree.

- So you get to his house and the two of you are sat on his couch, some gorefest horror movie that he chose to watch playing on the tv. He excuses himself to go get a drink and when he comes back, he sits down beside you again although this time much closer than before.

- You try not to think any of it, even as his arm wraps around the back of the couch behind you. Well, you don’t think anything of it until you can feel his hand on your shoulder, fingers tracing shapes against the skin of your arm.

- You aren’t sure what to do, so you don’t do anything, staying perfectly still as you struggle to breathe properly, a flustered heat coursing through you. The two of you sit like that for a few long moments before he slowly pulls you into him and speaks.

“Y/n,” he says your name quietly, his voice deep. He pauses and waits for you to respond which you do so with a nervous hum. “I like you a lot. You know that, don’t you?”

“I like you too, Billy.” you respond in a near whisper, eyes focused on your lap.

“Good.” He whispers back, pressing his lips to your hot cheek as his hand finds the side of your face and he pulls you into a kiss.

- Lets hope that you’re sure about being with him because now that he has you, he certainly isn’t planning on letting you go anytime soon.

- Constant Pda. He likes having his hands on you at all times; it’s just a bonus that it shows everyone in the general vicinity “who you belong to”.

- Gentle forehead and cheek kisses.

- Hugs from behind where he nuzzles his face into your hair and jaw.

- Long makeout sessions. Once you start, he never wants to stop.

- Getting late night visits/sneaking out to see him. He shows up at your window pretty much whenever he feels like and has subsequently gotten very skilled at climbing up the side of your house.

- His favorite nickname for you is “sweetheart”. He just feels like it suits you and likes the little smile you get on your face when he calls you it.

- Cuddling? Billy would never admit it to anyone but he absolutely loves it. Oftentimes, he’s the big spoon, but he can’t deny that he loves it when you cradle him into your chest, especially when he’s tired or having a rough day.

- He lounges whenever he can so expect to be laid/leaned on, or to have him maneuver himself so that he’s laid back yet still has you close to or touching him.

- Long and deep conversations. The two of you experience existential crises together.

- You’re going to be around Stu a lot. The two of them are constantly hanging out so you and him are; most likely, going to be close as well.

- Sharing food with each other.

- Hanging out at the fountain.

- Horror movie dates.

- Constant movie references, quotes, and random facts.

- A Fall slut through and through. Falling leaves? Sexy. Pumpkins? Hot. Anything spooky? Orgasmic. He usually goes ape shit during holidays but during the fall, he goes ape shit for a whole season.

- He has a wonderful skill of popping up at the “right” times. You seem to constantly run into him and you aren’t sure if it’s really a coincidence or not.

- Random phone calls. Sometimes he plays around with you, other times he gets straight to the point.

- Back massages. He lets out these little moan like noises which make it really hard to think straight as you’re trying to innocently rub his back.

- Hand holding.

- Playing with each other’s hair. You’re constantly brushing his out of his eyes.

- He toys around with your things, either while he’s bored or to make you laugh, or just to fidget with something while you talk.

- He loves hearing you laugh and seeing you smile. He feels accomplished whenever it’s because of him, like he’s done something revolutionary.

- His fathers rarely home so you usually have the house to yourselves. He likes the privacy, being able to do whatever you please with no interruptions. It’s the teenage dream, isn’t it?

- Wearing his shirts, especially when you sleep over at his house.

- Surprisingly sensitive about certain things and somewhat easily offended. He takes you not wanting to touch, see, or be seen with him very personally, even if there’s a legitimate reason behind it.

- Weirdly enough though, he’s got a really high pain tolerance. He’s a trooper when he gets hurt and always amazes you with how little he reacts. He once sliced his hand open when the two of you were together and while you were wrapping something around the wound, all he did was let out a little “ow” and chuckle at you.

- He’s a bit reserved; he’s not a huge social butterfly so he prefers just hanging out with you and a few close friends. He’s friendly when he has to be, he just doesn’t really like talking to people he doesn’t know/know very well or being in huge crowds.

- He loves just watching you. He could look at your face for the rest of his life; all day, everyday, and still never get tired of seeing it.

- Intimate eye contact. There’s so much emotion behind his eyes when they meet yours. He could make you flustered with a single look.

- He never pushes you to do anything you don’t want to. He does such evil things most of the time, it’s nice to be seen as “the good guy” and to treat someone he cares about with respect.

- He’s a cunning bastard. If you need something done, he’ll find a way to do it. And if he needs something done, then he’ll find a way too and it may or may not involve you.

- Growing suspicious of him and his absences or the little odd things that just don’t add up. You swear he’s hiding something....

- He hangs back and waits for you when you want to go do something quick, like ask someone something or drop something off somewhere. It doesn’t ever annoy him; he likes being able to know what you’re doing.

- He’s definitely a bit overprotective and clingy at times. He’s got some deep rooted abandonment issues so he wants to make sure you’re not going anywhere or somehow going to get hurt and have to leave him because of it.

- He’s quick to interrupt when he can tell you’re uncomfortable and insults/scolds people when they upset you.

- He yearns for that motherly role in his life so he snaps at the chance to get it from your own mother when the two of you begin dating. It’s certainly a bit odd when you find him and her hanging out in your kitchen or how quick he is to agree to joining you on family outings/activities when you’re about to decline, but you are happy that he’s getting the very thing that he seems to need.

- Later in your relationship, he’ll open up to you more and tell you about his family life/ everything that goes on in his head. Just be patient because it’ll take him a while to completely trust you with everything.

- He’d rather cut off his own dick then cheat on you. He sees it as the ultimate sin, the worst thing you could ever do to a person ...besides abandon them.

- He has a mean streak when it comes to jealousy. He can’t stand the thought of you; his girl, with someone else or having someone else like you. He’s threatened and/or glared people down before if he’s thought they had a thing for you.

- Sensitive subjects really aren’t his strong suit. He always seems to say the wrong thing whenever he’s faced with them and it’s caused more than a few fights/arguments between the two of you.

- He gets angry when he’s angry, if that makes sense, although it really depends on what’s making him upset. He can either stay very calm or start rioting like a maniac, it’s really like flipping a coin with him. He does tend to flip out on other people rather than you though, so that’s good, right?

- He apologizes when he’s in the wrong and never expects you to if you aren’t. He also has a particular talent for worming his way back into your heart after he’s royally pissed you off.

- He doesn’t tell you he loves you constantly but he says it at the right moments so the words have a lot of meaning whenever he says them.

- Like I said, he doesn’t plan on letting you go anytime soon. You’re the one for him and he’s going to keep you with him for as long as he can.

[bunnyinthestars]

Adrien is definitely gonna take Emilie’s place in a coma (A Theory)

Yeah so I mean the title of this is exactly what I’m pretty sure is gonna happen. This is because there has been a huge load of foreshadowing and some other subtler reasons I will be going over in this post. Of course, there’s always a chance it won’t happen, but if it didn’t I think I’d be pretty surprised considering just the amount of evidence thats going into this.

(Also sorry ahead of time for the structure of this, I tried to structure this based on my specific reasons for this theory but I kind of went off on tangents in some places and in others I use ideas that I assume come with the theory and don’t necessarily fit into any specific reason (like Emilie coming back to life and what would happen there, why Adrien and not Nathalie, and loosely how theyd get Adrien out of the coma), although I mosty stick to the structure I still want to add this disclaimer just so you’re aware that I wrote this in one go at midnight (also wait right now its 12:10am it is now ten minutes into my birthday??? ok ignoring that))

I dont know man. Just consider what I have to say. Or dont. I will be listing my reasons starting now.

1. Imagery of Adrien being in comatose state/ in a coffin-like thing.

This is surprisingly common??? Off the top of my head I can think of Style Queen and Riposte (I believe) which involve this. In Style Queen, Audrey in the form of her akumatized self had essentially kidnapped Adrien and put him in this gold/glass coffin thing that disintegrated the longer it remained untouched. The other one is Riposte, where Ladybug hides Adrien in that big sarcophogus in the Louvre (he didn’t stay in it but still the imagery is there.)

I also just remembered in Chameleon when Lila took Adrien’s form he was asleep/in a comatose state in that locker and Plagg was like “aw man am I gonna have to kiss him.....” but then Adrien wakes up because Lila stole someone else’s form

EDIT: another instance of Adrien/Chat Noir being shoved into a sarcophagus (besides Riposte) is in Pharaoh in season 1

So yes there is definitely a good number of foreshadowing for this. I might take this further and say if Adrien were to go comatose and be in the coffin Emilie was in then Felix might replace him for some amount of time?? Like impersonate him amd stuff?? Just because there’s lots of stuff in the show with impersonation I feel like it could work aNYWAY BACK TO THE EVIDENCE I KNOW ITS A TANGENT

2. Possible evidence foreshadowing Emilie *inadvertantly* killing (not killing but making comatose you get it) Adrien

This one is not as strong as the first but its worth considering. I was googling the word “mayura” just out of curiosity a while back and basically its a peacock in Hindu stories (like peacocks are a kinda revered animal) and I just initially found a couple websites that said that the mayura has been depicted eating a snake as a symbol of the cycle of time (you dont have to read this part in parenthesis, its just kind of a tangent: the cycle of time as known in Hinduism is another aspect of Hinduism directly referenced in the show: the horse/space miraculous kwami Kaalki’s name is a reference to the prophecied tenth avatar/reincarnation of the god Vishnu, and he is referenced in the Kalachakra tantra which is basically a Hindu book about the cycle of time. Keep in mind I got all this from wikipedia and other internet websites, I do not practice Hinduism and I dont directly know anybody who does, so if any of this is wrong pls lmk because there is surprisingly not a lot of information on the internet about it from what I could tell)

So anyways yes peacock (mayura) eating snake representing the cycle of time. Both Luka and Adrien are represented in the show as the snake, but ultimately I think the snake here represents Adrien just because it makes more sense (Snake Noir, future Alix’s tattoo depicts a snake to be Adrien and is meant to represent Adrinette, Adrien just has some shifty stuff going on with the snake in general etc) and thus, if Gabriel manages to actually get the ladybug and black cat miraculouses and make the wish to bring Emilie to life, then this “mayura” analogy (assuming Emilie as the mayura in this scenario) would make sense if her life brought upon Adrien losing his.

The reason I dont think it would refer to Nathalie even though her official name is Mayura is for pretty much two sub-reasons. The first is that I think she is going to die before this wish happens. I know, its a kids show, whatever, but consider it. The Agreste/Graham de Vanily family has a trend of having opposite names [I am so sorry I literally first heard this from a tumblr user but I cannot remember who I just remember they had made a string of theories on why Emilie Agreste will not be who she seems to be so credit to them I did not discover that] for example the name Gabriel means hero/angel, Felix means happy/fortunate, Adrien means dark, etc, and Nathalie Sancoeur means “birthday (of Christ)” and “heartless” respectively. We already know she is not heartless but rather full of heart because she has fallen in love with Gabriel. So then,,,,,,,,,, the opposite of birth is death. She’s already shown to be pretty sick too despite the peacock miraculous having been “fixed” (as of the New York special being the most recent piece of content). I’m sorry guys I do not make the rules

stop why his face look like that though

The second part of why I think this is a little stupid but. The original art released by Jeremy Zag for Mayura does not look like Nathalie. Plus this art was only released under the name of “the Peacock” (originally Le Paon in French) so it might not actually be the Mayura we know as of now. Now, theoretically, it could be that they had made this art before they knew they wanted Nathalie to be Mayura or just as art depicting what Emilie would have been like as the peacock miraculous holder, and it could literally just be Nathalie. When you compare the images, though, the original Mayura art looks far more like Emilie and a lot less like Nathalie. Yes I am aware this is stupid just know this is only a minor point

I dont know man those faces do not look the same to me and the original Mayura definitely had Emilie’s eye shape and face shape in mind. They might’ve changed it after making the concept art but my point still stands

Ok next reasoning

Again not a very strong point but sometimes dialogue just implies things in Miraculous and I can think of a very specific quote that would fit this happening, and there are probably more that I just dont know to look for since I dont have this whole show memorized

So the quote is from Startrain after Gabriel loses control of the akuma then learns about the Startrain having been akumatized with Adrien on board, and he says “hoping that my enemies will save my son..... how ironic.” When I first heard this quote I really, really felt like it was foreshadowing something just based on his tone and the way this new idea was being introduced of him having to be on the same side as Ladynug and Chat Noir for once, even if it was just temporary. This quote absolutely is indicative to me of a future event in which he’ll have to work with his “enemies” to save his son. A situation in which Adrien is in comatose would perfectly align with this. At least for how I would predict the show would make it, Gabriel would have to turn away from Emilie (who represents the past for him, and this action would therefore represent moving on) and join forces with Ladybug/Marinette, his “enemy”, to save Adrien.

Onto the last reason!

Emilie is probably definitely coming back. Which means someone’s going into a coma in her place.

I mean come on it would be so anticlimactic if they just caught Gabe before he fulfilled his wish. Plus with the way they are outlining Emilie to be this perfect golden being is definitely because its going to far contrast with how she will actually turn out. This doesnt really support the Adrien thing in particular but honestly it would also be anticlimactic of the coma was for anyone else. If it was Nathalie, then yeah itd suck for Adrien I guess but like???? Doesn’t really connect the plots as much. Whereas if its Adrien, that brings Marinette into it, that gives her a powerful as heck conflict. Im guessing they would also somehow resolve his coma with “the power of love” mentioned in the theme song, just because of the foreshadowing with like waking someone up with a true love’s kiss (think Plagg in Chameleon, I guess the rose in Style Queen, maybe Alya’s story to Manom in Stormy Weather if we’re strecthing it....)

TL;DR: Adrien is probably gonna go comatose (like Emilie did) at some point because its been pretty foreshadowed (think Style Queen, Riposte, and even Chameleon), because of the legend surrounding the Hindu “mayura” peacock eating a snake representing time (wow that was not a sentence ok then), because Gabriel has previously foreshadowed having to work with his enemies to save his son, and also just because it would be super awesome and allow each character involved to have a pretty fulfilling conflict and arc.

(all images from the miraculous ladybug wiki excluding the piece of art depicting the mayura which is from murugan.org)

I hope however took the time to read this post enjoyed this theory, sometimes I have really random yet detailed theories regarding this show and I wanted to share this one because if I’m right then this will be proof I had predicted it, also you guys could possibly elaborate on it. I’m all for friendly discussions folks fr

If this doesn’t end up happening the theory is still awesome and they should have done it, and if it does my ego will probably expand and hopefully they will make it as awesome as it seems like it would be. Sorry if the structure of this post is not great, but thank you for reading. I appreciate you, have a wonderful week :)

[atopearth]

Hakuoki: Edo Blossoms Part 10 - Sakamoto Ryouma Route

I know it’s understandable for the ones who were once on the side of the shogunate to change to the imperialist to save their men’s lives rather than their beliefs, but every time I think about how some like the Yodo domain ruthlessly and enjoyably killed off the Shinsengumi warriors they encountered, I can’t think of it all being simply for their survival. And, I think people like the Shinsengumi who will do everything they can to uphold their beliefs even when all odds are against them are just...very admirable I guess. When Sakamoto said that history is written by the victors and that you can’t be a victor if you didn’t live to tell the tale, it felt so saddening and yet true. This isn’t a war for them to fight anymore… Lmao when he just helped himself to putting his head on her lap though hahaha. Pretty unreasonable for the heroine to expect Sakamoto to do something about Kondou’s capture by the imperialists though, not like they’re friends, and Kondou being a great guy really has nothing to do with him… I guess she’s just emotional but still…at least she calmed down when he held her, she’s way too rash by even thinking she could do anything about it if she were to go to Kondou. Anyway, I guess the reason Nakaoka is like this is because he’s unable to accept that he died when hasn’t been able to do what he wanted to the Tokugawa clan yet. In a way, he’s probably less focused on what’s best for Japan and really just wants to take out the Tokugawa along with him, since he’s even changed the other oppressed country samurai in the Tosa domain into Furies…

Oww when she took the blow from Nakaoka to protect Sakamoto… It was so cute when he stumbled upon her changing the bandages and he blushed🤣 He still teased her after but I guess even he gets embarrassed too! Hahahaha, I feel sorry for Shiranui that he always has to witness them being all lovey dovey with each other (with their words) every time he appears to talk to them lmao. Sakamoto says he can be himself with her beside him and thinks that a woman he can be like that with is the perfect one for him, and she still thinks their relationship is still just one of buddies going on an adventure to slay Furies together?? I mean, if she feels like she can’t fully trust in his words, fine but, I’m sure that considering they’ve been travelling all this time together, their relationship is definitely more than purely platonic, they’ve experienced life and death together! That bond is strong! I’m glad he was upfront with her and practically told her that his dream is to sail his own ship and that it won’t be complete without her on it. So yay, they’re finally open and honest about their feelings without all the teasing lol. I see… Sakamoto was forced to be a spy for the Tosa because they held his family hostage and that’s why he got close to Chizuru to get info on the Shinsengumi, and Nakaoka was in a similar situation and that’s why he hates those higher ups in the Tosa domain so much. Really can’t blame him when his whole life had been controlled by these guys…

I think it’s nice that Sakamoto was able to relieve her of guilt she shouldn’t need to carry just because she lived a less painful life than Kaoru. He can’t blame her for things out of her control. Also nice to see that because of this, she believes that they don’t have to forge on with hatred in their hearts, even though it is justified hatred in terms of how the Yukimura clan perished and how Nakaoka and the others were treated I guess… However, I guess this will just end up being a neverending spiral of hatred, so yeah… But, surprisingly, Kaoru wasn’t as insufferable as the other routes and wasn’t really a liar. He seemed to really care about Chizuru and really did sacrifice himself to protect her when he swapped places with her as a child since the Nagumo wanted the girl to bear children for them. So now I kinda feel bad for thinking of him terribly, and am wondering if things could have ended differently instead of Shiranui killing him to save Sakamoto and Chizuru. But I guess it probably saved Kaoru as well, at least in death he didn’t need to suffer anymore in this hatred towards humans, the Nagumo and also Chizuru for living the better life… At least they’ve got the support of Heisuke and Sanan to take out the base of all the Furies where Kodo is continuing his experiments and where Nakaoka is supporting him by lending himself and the other Tosa people to be experimented on. It’s kind of saddening and yet fitting for Heisuke and Sanan to feel that it is essentially their duty to rid of these Furies and the Water of Life. Nakaoka’s death was devastating to see..alongside revenge, he also fought for respect and recognition of his people, and it’s just saddening that he knew that in order to get that, he needed to allow his people to be used and to be useful to even try to do anything that could affect the world. I feel like it was rather anticlimactic to leave Kodo to Heisuke and Sanan, and then have Sakamoto and Chizuru escape to live their future together… And it literally ended just like that…. The unrequited ending was rather bittersweet, since even though Sakamoto died, Chizuru wanted his memory to live on through his family and thus she decides to travel to Tosa and tell them everything about him and how passionate of a guy he was towards his aspirations. Kinda nice that Shiranui also asked her if she wanted to take refuge in his village after that, and I think that’s a great idea, haha!

Overall, I feel quite disappointed tbh. I’m not sure I can pinpoint the exact problems I had with Sakamoto’s route, but it feels very short? I’m not sure if it’s really shorter but I definitely feel like it tried to balance plot and romance too much that it ended up excelling in neither. The plot didn’t feel the most coherent and felt like it was told in blocks rather than flowing naturally, and the romance although was kinda cute with the teasing and everything, it felt that a lot of it was built on this teasing, and then they tried to put in a bit more thought into it such as how they supported each other by being there when the both of them went through moments of confusion with Nakaoka and Kaoru respectively. But it was just told in such a way that it felt very…lacklustre and rushed, like by the time I digested what their problems of conflict were, everything was already solved so haphazardly. The fighting scenes were also very boring since Sakamoto didn’t really use his gun in a distinctive way or whatever that made it characteristically his weapon? Like, all the Shinsengumi guys use swords and have their unique traits that make them “them” but I find it difficult to describe what and how I think of Sakamoto by the end of the story aside from his generic traits. The story also didn’t really delve well into what and how he really felt about what he wanted to change in Japan besides being more “fair” and Western, it also just seemed really random and apathetic of him to set aside everything and just want to sail a boat after he defeats Nakaoka. I just feel like there were a lot of gaping holes I wanted answered outside the main stream of things, and I also just never felt his passion for anything after Kyoto Winds. They did what they set out to do, but they really didn’t do anything else in terms of building their personalities or plot imo. On the other hand, I felt that even though I didn’t see Nakaoka much, I felt his passion for everything through his intense feelings and hatred every time he appeared, as well as in his moments before death. I guess the problem with Sakamoto for me was that I felt nothing about him really stood out to me. So yeah, I’m sad lol. It’s still an all right route, but yeah not really a fan.

[murasaki-murasame]

The moral of :re episode 21 is that Hide is The Absolute Best, and I refuse to hear any objections to that fact :)

Seriously though, this episode was really nice, and actually fixed some of the issues I had with this part of the manga.

The rest of my thoughts will be under the cut [including spoilers for the whole manga]

I already figured that I’d like the Dragon arc a lot in the anime, since I already more or less liked it in the manga [at least conceptually], but even then, this episode still kinda surpassed my expectations in certain ways. At least in terms of writing. The art was sorta iffy at times, but I can’t really hold that against them too much. The background art was consistently great as usual, though.

Anyway, to begin with, I liked how they handled the first scene, with Dragon continuing to emerge. I like how they kept the framing of some of it being televised by news reporters and stuff. And as I expected, not much time needed to be spent on it.

We also got to see the culmination of how the anime has replaced the plot-line of Ui getting manipulated by Furuta with more focus on Mutsuki and him getting steered down this path by Furuta, and I really love that writing choice. It helps tie everything together surprisingly well. I always kinda disliked how everything about Kaneki killing the Oggai and becoming Dragon felt like such a string of perfect coincidences and contrivances, but I actually really like the explanation of ‘Furuta intentionally put Mutsuki in charge of the Oggai so that he’d inevitably lead them to Kaneki’. It doesn’t actually change anything about how things played out, but it gives a way more clear and understandable explanation for why things ended up the way they did, and it makes Furuta’s plan seem less obnoxiously perfect. And I think they did a good enough job of setting up the fact that Furuta would know about how Mutsuki feels towards Kaneki, since we saw him visiting him in the hospital earlier in the season.

Overall it’s just a way more interesting and effective version of the ultimately weird and pointless sub-plot between Furuta and Ui that the manga had. It’s also worth noting that this also recontextualizes Mutsuki’s feelings in this episode slightly, by having him be forced to realize that he was at least partially responsible for everything that just happened, because he’s the one that lead the Oggai to Kaneki. It helps set up the emotional stakes of this episode a lot, and it continues the anime’s trend of portraying Mutsuki as a victim of a corrupt system, which is nice. I’ll talk about the scene with him and the Qs later in the post, but there’s other things to talk about first.

Such as Hide! We finally get to properly see him in the anime, and let’s just say that my thoughts during his scenes mostly consisted of ‘my SON. my fucking SUNSHINE CHILD!’. It was pretty great, lol. There’s not actually much to say about his scenes, other than that I’m happy they kept the scene about his feelings for Kaneki. I don’t really mind how the subs translated it since that was just their decision alone, and I could tell that the actual Japanese line was unchanged, so there’s no big deal, although I have a feeling that it’s still gonna incite some gross neckbeards to be like ‘the subs said ‘like’ not ‘love’ so obviously it’s just BRO LOVE hurr duurrr’.

I do wanna point out that I really like the way the anime is handling how his voice sounds, since he’s using an electronic assistive device to talk now. It’s nothing particularly noteworthy, but I think they handled it nicely. He actually sounded a fair bit less creepy and robotic than what I thought he might sound in the anime, lol.

His entire presence in the story is definitely just inherently weird, but let’s not ignore the fact that his reappearance was just as sudden and unexplained in the manga. If anything, it was MORE jarring in the manga, since in that version of that story we already had the whole flashback to him asking Kaneki to eat him, which made his death seem a lot more definitive. And just to be blunt, even after he came back into the story in the manga, Ishida never actually did anything to explain how he survived getting part of his face eaten, how he managed to go into hiding, how he managed to find out about Rushima and rescue Amon from there, how he knew about the secret of the RC Gates in order to give that info to Marude, etc etc etc. There’s just this complete void of nothingness between ‘Kaneki apparently eats most of Hide’s face’ to ‘Hide pops back up in the story several years later and nobody really comments on it’. So I can’t really hold this against the anime at all. It’s not THEIR fault that Ishida never explained any of that. And honestly I’m growing more appreciative as time goes on of how the anime cut out the flashback to Hide rescuing Amon from Rushima, and how they cut the reference to him leaking classified info to Marude. It’s a slightly disappointing way to go about it, but it’s a valid choice to deal with the topic of ‘questions that never get answered’ by opting to not even raise them in the first place.

It does make me really curious to see how they handle the next episode, with Hide and Kaneki finally having their big reunion. Since they’ve kept the detail of Hide’s facial injuries, but haven’t explained how they happened. I think the two main possibilities are that either the anime will make up some separate reason for why it happened that doesn’t involve Kaneki, or they’re gonna have it be that Kaneki only remembers having eaten Hide’s face once they actually reunite. I’m leaning more toward the latter at this point, and I think I’d at least prefer them to handle it that way compared to how the manga handled that whole reveal. It’d feel more appropriately timed, and it’d probably lead to Kaneki at least expressing actual shock and remorse over it, instead of being bizarrely nonchalant about it like he was in the manga. In general I hope they flesh out their reunion scene a bit in the next episode, since it always bugged me that it was just like three goddamn pages long in the manga.

I still don’t like how the story in general handles Kanou as a character, but again that’s more Ishida’s fault than anything else, and I kinda like how the anime changed the timing of it slightly so that Marude’s group only think to try and find him right when they find out that he killed himself. It shortens the scene a fair bit, and it makes it feel less ‘hyped up’, if that makes sense, which makes Kanou’s suicide feel at least somewhat less anticlimactic. It’s still a lame way for his character to go out, though. At least the anime kept the details of how he cares mostly about furthering medical science in relation to studying ghouls, and how he knew that Furuta was planning for this to happen, and that it will lead to humanity being pretty much forced to further medical science to deal with Dragon. It’s still overall a clumsy plot point,  but it gets the point across well enough. It’s at least a bit more subtle about the point of Furuta creating Dragon in order to ultimately benefit mankind than how Ishida just had Furuta lay out basically all of his plans to Kaneki right at the start of the Goat arc, lol.

It’s also worth noting that, along the same lines, I’ve always been really disappointed by Kurona as a character in :re, since she just loses any real purpose and only exists to be focused on an even more clumsily handled character, but overall my biggest issue with everything to do with Kanou is how it feels like such a missed opportunity that the topic of his involvement in Kaneki’s surgery doesn’t really become relevant. Specifically what I mean is that the two of them only ever have one face to face confrontation in the entire series, and that was way back before :re happened at all. It just feels like there was so much room to explore that conflict. I understand why it ultimately ended up being unimportant compared to all of the bigger issues at hand, but still.

I still have somewhat complicated feelings about the entire topic of how humans and ghouls end up more or less joining forces against Dragon, but at the very least it feels like the only real way that the story was ever going to achieve anything close to actual peace between them.

Anyway, onto the whole scene at the end with Mutsuki fighting Saiko and Urie, I really liked how that scene was handled. At least compared to how it was done in the manga. It was much shorter, for one thing, which I appreciated. Cutting out Aura and the other second gen Qs helped it go by a lot faster, and it also made it feel more personal in scale. They don’t really bother spelling out why Mutsuki is lashing out at the Qs, but at this point in the story I think everyone watching it knows that fucking EVERYONE just winds up expressing their feelings through punching and stabbing when they’d really be better off just talking to each other, so I at least don’t think this scene stands out as being any more glaringly weird than most other random fight scenes in the series. It is worth pointing out, though, that with the anime original stuff at the start of the episode I mentioned earlier, it’s very easy to piece together the fact that Mutsuki is blaming himself for this entire thing, and so he’s just lashing out because he doesn’t know how to handle his self-hatred, and he has a lot of complicated feelings about the fact that everyone is trying to save Kaneki.

Even if it kinda muddies his motives a bit, I honestly quite like how they completely cut out the whole obnoxious ‘if I can’t have him then nobody can!’ way that Ishida tried to spin this whole part of the manga. At least this version of events doesn’t make me roll my eyes in exasperation. I’ve said it before, but I do really appreciate how they’ve cut out like 99% of how the manga tried to frame him as some kind of generic psycho yandere character. It works a lot better that in the anime, this whole scene was almost purely focused on Mutsuki just lashing out at his friends because he’s dealing with way too many emotions and he doesn’t know how to handle it. [fake edit: before I forget, they also cut out the part where he attacks Touka while she’s searching for Kaneki, which is a nice change. That whole bit was just super unnecessary and obnoxious in the manga]

His aborted suicide attempt also felt a fair bit less jarring than it did in the manga, since the anime did a better job at showing exactly how much self-hatred Mutsuki feels.

I don’t really wanna bother touching too much on the references to Mutsuki’s sex here, but at the very least, if the anime really wants to convince me that he’s a cis girl, this is at least a much less overtly offensive and off-putting way of going about it. It’s not gonna change my stance on things, though. But I still gotta give the anime props for at least handling everything about Mutsuki with infinitely more respect than Ishida did.

Also, I actually just double-checked my imported copy of volume 15 to make sure I wasn’t forgetting something, and I can confirm that the references to Shirazu at the end of the episode were actually anime-original. I can also confirm that they fucking tore my heart to shreds :) It almost makes me wonder why Ishida didn’t think to bring Shirazu up like that in the scene originally. It’s such a perfect way of really hammering in the emotions. It also does a really nice job of further tying up Urie’s character development, and showing how much respect he feels for Shirazu.

As I expected, it looks like the next episode will cover volume 15. Or rather, the rest of volume 15, since this episode actually ended about two chapters into volume 15, after having gone through all of volume 14. Again, the whole confrontation with the Qs took WAY less time in the anime, and I’m grateful for that. So I think the next episode should be able to easily adapt the rest of volume 15, and presumably end with Kaneki and Hide’s big reunion scene. Hopefully this will give them time to flesh that scene out a bit.

Since we’re already partway into the second to last volume with three episodes to go, I think the rest of the season will be paced really well, so that’s nice.

All in all, this was a pretty fantastic episode. It’s still hard to avoid some of the really fundamental issues the manga had, but the anime’s honestly doing a GREAT job of patching things up and actually making it all feel cohesive and reasonable, while also removing the more offensive and shitty parts. I’ve been thinking of the :re anime as a sort of second draft of the manga’s story since it started, and episodes like this really cement why I feel that way.

[arashian155]

milestones

The first time Sakata Gintoki and Hijikata Toushirou share a drink after the return of the Shinsengumi, it’s surprisingly not in their usual place, but in Gintoki’s hospital room.

The fight with Utsuro had ended just days before, and the damage Gintoki’s body sustained had confined him to a hospital bed he wasn’t allowed to leave, courtesy of just about every single person he knew, since the moment he came to.

The kids had been spending the entire time with him, and he had just convinced them to go home and rest for the night (so he could plot his escape from the hospital) when there was a knock on his door.

Hijikata came into his room just a little before midnight, claiming that he got someone from the Shinsengumi to bring him a bottle of top shelf sake – since Hijikata was trapped in a hospital room one floor below his – and he didn’t feel like drinking alone.

They stayed up till 4 in the morning talking about nothing and everything. They talked about useless things and made fun of each other, laughed and made jokes (mostly Gintoki), they talked about random memories and stupid adventures (and came to the realization that they’ve had too many of those together) and shared many smiles and winces and looks of exasperation throughout the night.

When Gintoki woke up the next morning, he found Hijikata passed out on the chair beside his bed, his head falling forward and damn the knots he’ll find in his neck and shoulders once he wakes up will definitely hurt like a bitch.

That would be the first time Gintoki wakes up to Hijikata Toushirou sleeping next to him. Well, technically sleeping in the chair next to his bed, but never mind the details.

Gintoki felt no hangover, he didn’t feel sick and his head didn’t hurt despite the sake they’d drunk the night before. Instead, he felt refreshed; he couldn’t remember the last time he had had that much fun and laughed that freely.

He knew it had everything to do with the company he had.

  Hijikata Toushirou had not realized how deeply he felt for Sakata Gintoki until the first time they kissed.

They had just finished having lunch together – a coincidence they both used to accuse the other of being a stalker – and were having a random talk about movies, discussing how heartbreaking My Neighbor Pedoro was and, “You need to watch Alien vs Yakuza, Yorozuya! Jo Bro is a much better protagonist than you’ll ever be!” when Hijikata was yanked into an alley, snapping him out of his review – read: fanboying – and causing him to look at Gintoki’s face again with an insult on the tip of his tongue.

The amused, almost affectionate smile (with one corner of his mouth turned up and eyes giving him a you’re such an idiot look) Gintoki was giving him made him forget what he was about to say.

He will never admit it, but he stopped breathing altogether.

Hijikata’s mind was blank. He was not capable of thinking of anything as Gintoki brought his face closer to Hijikata’s and touched their foreheads together, looking into his eyes and searching.

Hijikata believes that Gintoki found whatever he was searching for, because not a few seconds later, Hijikata had his eyes closed and his lips connected to Gintoki’s.

The feelings that had been slowly, subtly, surely building up over the time they spent together hit Hijikata full force and it wasn’t the kiss itself that did that, but the nervous gulp he felt Gintoki take before their lips touched and the shaking hand cupping the back of Hijikata’s neck, the chasteness of the kiss as if Gintoki couldn’t decide if he was doing the right thing, but still trying to convey something he wasn’t capable of giving words to.

Everything about it was so unguarded, so unlike the smug, shameless bastard Gintoki was, and Hijikata could see memories flashing behind his eyelids of moments when he was able to see through Gintoki’s guarded walls, and how much he felt every time but never realized just what it had been.

Hijikata was feeling too much and so, while it had been Gintoki who initiated the kiss, it was Hijikata who took it up a notch, pressing his lips harder to Gintoki’s, steeling his grip on his yukata, pulling him closer and closer, wanting to pour everything into this kiss, into telling this asshole with the most captivating soul Hijikata had ever seen that he felt the same, that he was beyond the point of denying himself what his heart wants again, because everything in Hijikata, his brain, his soul, his entire being yearns for Gintoki and the dam was broken and the emotions were overflowing and Hijikata has no idea how he had been able to ignore feelings with such an intensity for such a long time.

(He later figures out it’s because he had done that too many times in his life, he’s too used to locking out things he yearns to have, whether it’s the big warm hand engulfing his and patting his head lovingly, the wide back and guarding silhouette that he associates with safety and family, or the adoring smile and gentle eyes, soft giggles and longing looks he associates with warmth and affection.)

And the hand cupping the back of his neck was no longer shaking; it was sliding into his hair and clutching it between fingers that lost every bit of uncertainty, while the other hand was moving across his chest, up his shoulders, grasping his back and pulling him closer.

By the time they broke the kiss, they were gasping for air, looking into each other’s eyes (Hijikata saw so much want in red eyes that was surely mirroring his own) and then Gintoki smiled again.

This time, both corners were turned up, teeth showing and it was contagious because Hijikata felt a breathless huff forcing its way out and then they were both chuckling into the small space between them, foreheads connected and noses almost touching.

They stayed in that alley for a while, pressing small kisses and sharing looks and touches that convey feelings that had been building up for days, months, even years. They went home separately with the promise of meeting up to watch Alien vs Yakuza, the entire franchise.

  The second time Sakata Gintoki wakes up to find Hijikata Toushirou sleeping next to him, it’s a snowy day and they’re both snuggled in Gintoki’s futon.

It’s been a couple of weeks since they’ve started sleeping together, but it’s always Hijikata who wakes up first. Gintoki considers it a development that he even wakes up to see Hijikata dressed up and about to leave, since he’d always woken up to an empty space next to him in the beginning and Gintoki never liked that.

And so, when Gintoki finds himself up before Hijikata, he revels in the warmth radiating from him. He had already been aware of his feelings for Hijikata during the first time in the hospital, but he had been at the point where he was still fighting it off, ignoring it, keeping it to himself, and so, he tried to find any excuse to wake Hijikata up before his resolve weakens.

(It kept weakening. Hijikata has no idea but just about everything he did broke Gintoki’s resolve more and more, and then out of all things to shatter it completely, it had been something as simple as Hijikata being too excited about a movie that he wouldn’t shut up about, counting off the good things about it and then recounting them again just to make sure he didn’t miss anything and Gintoki knew he was a smoking freak and a mayo freak but it turns out he was a movie freak too and he hates himself for finding that endearing enough for him to think fuck it I want him.)

Remembering that life-changing moment – and how anticlimactic it was, seriously – Gintoki feels a smile pulling on the corners of his mouth, feels his heart swelling it might just burst and that was it he had to kiss him.

It was just a light peck on the lips but Hijikata is a light sleeper – he once told Gintoki that sleeping a few rooms away from Sougo did him some good when it didn’t almost kill him –  and so, once Gintoki pulled back, he found Hijikata blinking away the sleep, and squinting at him.

“Wha’ time is it?” Hijikata yawned. “Why’re you up so early? Is it early?”

Gintoki rolled his eyes. “You don’t have work today, you literally have nothing to do today, why do you even care if it’s early or not?”

“Just wanted to figure out if you were creepy enough to wake up early to ogle me while I’m sleeping,” Hijikata replied with a smirk.

“As if!” Gintoki scoffed. “Who’d wanna stare at your ugly mug anyways?”

“I can literally name five occasions in which you called me a ‘pretty face’, don’t start a losing battle.”

“…wanna get breakfast?”

Hijikata, choosing to spare Gintoki, let it go and yawned again. “I wanna sleep.”

“Oi, I’m the lazy one, what happened to you? Am I rubbing off on you too much?” Gintoki smirked, poking Hijikata’s cheek.

Hijikata slapped Gintoki’s hand away and glared at him half-heartedly. “Right, because you work six days a week and get five hours of sleep at most every day. Sure.” Staring at Gintoki a bit longer, Hijikata grumpily muttered a, “C’mere,” hooked his arm around Gintoki’s shoulder and pulled him closer, touching their foreheads together.

Staring into Hijikata’s eyes, Gintoki recalled the first time they kissed, how relieved and content and perfect he felt when Hijikata kissed back, when he poured his feelings right back after Gintoki tried to convey his.

Feeling another wave of feels coming, Gintoki let out a breathless chuckle, murmured an affectionate, “Bastard,” and met Hijikata’s lips halfway.

The second time Sakata Gintoki wakes up to Hijikata Toushirou next to him, it’s a snowy day, they’re both tucked in Gintoki’s futon, exchanging light kisses and insults, bathing in each other’s warmth, and Gintoki decides waking up early isn’t always so bad.

 Hijikata Toushirou fell in love three times in his life.

The first time, it was in the form of wanting to protect something delicate, something that spread so much warmth in his chest and made him want to see that beautiful girl with her lovely smile the happiest woman in the world. There was a constant yearning for her, but his conscience was unforgiving. It kept giving him all the right reasons to stay away and not ruin her; so he did. Hijikata buried the name Okita Mitsuba and all that came with it deep inside his heart and sealed it away.

The second time, it was in the form of wanting to follow a person with a heart of gold, a man who was sunshine in its brightness and warmth, a figure that Hijikata and hundreds of men fell for and admired and wanted to spend their lives accompanying him wherever he may take them. It didn’t take long for Hijikata to decide that this was the person he’d give his life to, this man’s dream was his and he’d live and die protecting it. And so, Hijikata decided he’d follow Kondou Isao anywhere, be it to Edo or straight into Hell.

The third and last time Hijikata Toushirou fell in love, it was in the form of raw emotions and deep understanding, a mixture of so many feelings that kept building up and it was so familiar and so foreign all at once. There was desire, there was affection, there was frustration, there was anger, there was yearning; yearning that even his stupid conscience couldn’t stand against, because a stronger part of his brain, a voice inside Hijikata’s head that kept getting louder and louder, told him that the stupid silver-haired samurai who picks his nose more often than not, who has a dumb look on his face about 99% of the time, who bitches about doing the smallest jobs then goes and saves fucking Edo time and time again, who complains about two kids and a monster dog not leaving him alone then protects them with his life, his honor, his everything, who was there for him at some of his worst times; the man who is both the shameless Yorozuya and the dangerous Shiroyasha, this is the one for him. This is the man who fits Hijikata Toushirou the best, who understands Thorny Toushi the most, who communicates with the Demon Vice-Commander in a way that Hijikata doesn’t know how to describe but so deeply spiritual.

It takes a couple of months for Hijikata to get to the final realization:

He wants to spend his entire life with Sakata Gintoki.

And while that gives him another overwhelming mixture of emotions he doesn’t know how to sort out, he knows one thing for sure.

He’s scared shitless.

Because he’s seen the way Gintoki looks at his kids. He’s seen the way he treats them. He’s seen how good and just – just, how fatherly he is with kids. He’s always thought about how Gintoki would make a great dad and how much he must want a family of his own.

And that’s funny, because the last time Hijikata checked, he doesn’t have the uterus to provide that. This is where his stupid conscience gains enough power to poison him with painful logic. It scared him shitless, and it fucking hurt.

 Here is how Sakata Gintoki comes to the realization that heartbreaks in soap operas he had watched weren’t as unrealistically dramatic as he thought they would be:

Hijikata spent days and weeks avoiding him, drifting away, slowly building up this hollowness inside Gintoki until he finally faced him again, only to – he swears he’s not a drama queen – break his heart.

It all escalated too quickly, Gintoki couldn’t wrap his head around what happened until much later. He’d got called out by Hijikata, met him at the bridge they had held secret conferences at when their souls switched, and was told by Hijikata that their “little game” had gone on for too long and he wanted out. Of course, Gintoki couldn’t make any sense of the shit Hijikata was saying and responded with, “the actual fuck?” a couple of times until Hijikata caved in and gave his shitty explanation, which was pathetically short and consisted of: we’re not gonna work, this is going nowhere, and it’s a waste of time.

Gintoki was too baffled to even stop Hijikata from leaving after dropping off that bomb.

It took a long time for the feeling of numbness and utter confusion to go away, and when he was sober again, it fucking hurt.

What the fuck does he even mean by them not working? Gintoki doesn’t like to brag, but he hasn’t met that many people in his life that were as connected as he and Hijikata were.

(Their souls were connected; Gintoki truly believed that they were connected to the very essence of their being. They always understood each other, they were always on the same page effortlessly. They were so good for each other.)

How is it going nowhere? How the fuck is what they have a waste of time? It’s true that Gintoki didn’t have that much confidence prior to the beginning of their relationship – which is, according to him, the moment Hijikata kissed him back and he realized that his feelings were reciprocated –  and it’s not like he had been completely hopeless before either. He wouldn’t have kissed Hijikata if he didn’t believe there might be a chance that Hijikata liked him back. 

But now? Now, it’s different! Their relationship was so well developed and solid and kept growing stronger and stronger over the time that it stopped crossing Gintoki’s mind at some point that they could break up.

Gintoki thought their relationship was going somewhere. He didn’t know where, but it sure as hell was not break up. No! The complete opposite! It was heading somewhere far into the future, way into the future (for lifetime, a whisper inside Gintoki’s head told him, he knows it, he avoids thinking about it ‘cause he’s not one to take things for granted, never takes things for granted, but he knows it), and he just can’t wrap his head around the thought of Hijikata considering it a fling, a little game!

So Gintoki spends a day hurting, trying to rationalize and understand Hijikata’s actions and failing to do so, then he spends a couple of days trying to lock out everything that is related to Hijikata out of his head and go on with his life while ignoring the stabs of pain he gets every few hours, then a few weeks of acting aloof and okay around the Shinsengumi, around Hijikata (who’s doing them both a favor and making himself scarce) until one day, he’s had enough.

Fuck everything, he doesn’t understand and at least if Hijikata wants to end it so badly, he’s gonna have to provide Gintoki with some closure, some decent reason, or Gintoki will never stop questioning what went wrong.

So the very next time he sees Hijikata walking the streets, on patrol, he grabs his collar, shoves him into some alley, and lets out a cracked, “Why?”

Hijikata is just as caught off guard by his tone as Gintoki himself is that he’s unable to mask his guilt. He’s hurt, Gintoki sees that this has not been any easier on Hijikata than it’s been on himself and he just gets more confused.

  Hijikata averts his eyes and says nothing.

Gintoki keeps staring at him, urging him to speak. He’s not letting him go before everything makes sense again.

It’s after a couple of minutes of averted gazes and intense stares that Hijikata loses, lets out a weary sigh, and starts talking.

“I’m a man,” Hijikata begins, still avoiding eye contact. “It doesn’t matter if we’re okay with being both men; it doesn’t matter if everyone is okay that we’re both men. It’s not natural.” Hijikata squeezes his eyes. “It’s…not.”

“What are you even talking about? I don’t understand you,” Gintoki frowns, “since when has this been a problem? What the fuck do you even mean by natural – what?”

“What’s so difficult to understand!? It’s obvious!” Hijikata snaps, giving Gintoki a frustrated glare.

“What the fuck is obvious!? I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about!” Gintoki yells, his own frustration too much for him to keep his calm anymore. “Wha – is it the sex? Are you talking about sex!? Is that it, you asshole!?”

“NO! Wha – “ Hijikata splutters, “what the fu – why are you always – “ then he suddenly stops yelling back. It does have to do with sex, just not the way Gintoki thinks. His mouth snaps shut and he glares at the ground.

“…you wanted to end it because the sex is not good for you? Are you fucking ser – “

“Oh my God, just shut the fuck up! No! No, it’s not the fucking sex, you dim piece of shit!”

“Well it better not be the sex ‘cause I know I’m good at that! You like ��� “

“Do you know what shut up means? SHUT UP! SHUT UP!”  Hijikata shouts, blushing all the way to his ears. “I can’t give you what you want! I am not a fucking woman, I’m not gonna get pregnant and I can’t give you kids, I can’t give you a family!”

Realizing how quickly and loudly he’s breathing, Hijikata takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, staring at Gintoki who has his eyebrows raised and mouth slightly open.

Feeling uncomfortable with the silence, Hijikata continues babbling. “I know how much you want a family. I know how much you treasure your kids and I – everyone realizes how much of a great parent you’d be.” Hijikata sighs, “I’m not like you. I barely tolerate kids to begin with. I’m not – “ Hijikata shakes his head. “That’s not the point. Even if I did want a family, even if I did want children of my own, it’s impossible for me to have that with you,” Hijikata gives Gintoki a sorry look, “just like it’s impossible for you to have that with me.”

Hijikata goes back to avoiding eye contact while Gintoki keeps staring at him, this time with that blank face Hijikata loathes so much because he can’t read Gintoki anymore, can’t see what he’s thinking.

“You’re really fucking stupid, you know that?” Gintoki whispers a few moments later.

Hijikata glares at Gintoki. “What?”  

“You are a fucking moron and I don’t know how the Shinsengumi survived for so long with you as their brain, you fucking airhead,” Gintoki starts. “Who the fuck are you to decide what I want for me? Hah? Who told you I wanna plant my seed somewhere and get a child of my own? You think I’m horrible enough to want some poor child to inherit this untamable perm? Ha? You – you – I can’t believe you!” Gintoki throws his hands in the air, “I have a family, you jackass. I already have two loud, stupid kids who won’t stop annoying me no matter how much they grow up! I have a giant dog for a pet, too! I have an old hag who won’t stop nagging for the fucking rent and – and,” Gintoki takes a deep breath, “I don’t need to marry some woman to start a family. I already have too many people I need to take care of, it’s already too troublesome as it is,” Gintoki finishes grumpily.

Hijikata is still, he doesn’t know what to say. He’s not stupid, he knows Gintoki considers the Yorozuya and Otose his family, he knows that but – someone as affectionate with children as Gintoki… how could he not want to build his own family?

Gintoki steps closer to him, grabs the front of his jacket and pulls him close, their faces inches apart and Gintoki is glaring at him. “Don’t decide for me what I want. I am not – “ Gintoki stops, seemingly considering his next words. Then carefully, slowly, his tone becomes a bit less sharp, he continues, “I’m me. I’m not someone that you can choose to give up on and marry off to someone else. I’m not someone whose form of happiness is up for you to decide. You can’t just walk away from me after all this,” the hand grasping on Hijikata’s jacket tightens, “you don’t get to give up on me. You don’t.”

It stings. Gintoki knows how much talking about Mitsuba hurts him, he knows that Hijikata will never be fully okay with discussing anything about her, and for him to say this; for him to point this out to Hijikata, to tell him not to treat him like Mitsuba, it fucking hurts but it’s a wake-up call, and the things he said after that – you can’t just walk away from me after all this, you don’t get to give up on me. You don’t – they just keep echoing inside Hijikata’s head.

He won’t.

God, he can’t. He can’t go on with this shit after hearing Gintoki say these things.

He wants him. He wants him now, he’ll want him next year, he’ll want him forever.

He wants to spend his life with Sakata Gintoki and this thought is no less scary than before, but Gintoki’s words make him braver.

“Oi.”

Hijikata realizes he hasn’t said a word since Gintoki started scolding him and now Gintoki is waiting for a response and Hijikata doesn’t know what to –

“I love you.”

Gintoki stares at him with wide eyes, mouth slightly agape. Hijikata would have felt kind of proud for how many times he’s caught Gintoki off guard today if it wasn’t for the fact that he just caught himself off guard.

Hijikata blinks owlishly back at Gintoki, at loss for what to say after the uncalled for confession he just let out.

Is it really that surprising, though, Hijikata wonders. It’s not like he’s gonna be in a relationship with someone he hates. Why is it such a big deal?

Hijikata tries to calm himself, but he can feel the heat spreading all the way down to his neck and fuck, he needs to get out of here, right now.

Not knowing a better way to leave, Hijikata lets out a loud yell, punches Gintoki straight in the face, and runs for it.

By the time he stops running, he’s relieved for an obvious reason.

He gets to blame the running he just did for the redness he’s sure is still on his face.

  The first time Sakata Gintoki kisses Hijikata Toushirou in public is one of Gintoki’s favorite moments shared with Hijikata.

After the accidental confession, Gintoki and Hijikata spent a couple of weeks being awkward around each other, not really spending that much time together – it’s always Hijikata and his work bullshit – until they met at some bar when Gintoki was spending the night drinking with Hasegawa and Hijikata with Kondou.

The four of them ended up sharing the same table, with Hijikata and Kondou facing Gintoki and Hasegawa. They started drinking and chatting and normally, Gintoki would drink himself stupid within the first hour, but he took his time, because while he went out to drink with Hasegawa, he ended up drinking with Hijikata too, and that’s always different. Drinking with Hijikata is his favorite; he gets to take his time, he gets to savor the burning sensation of alcohol and he feels good. 

Kondou and Hasegawa crash but Gintoki is at the point where he’s tipsy enough that he gets to forget about being awkward around Hijikata and it seems Hijikata himself is at that point too. And the soberness left in Gintoki tells him how much he misses this; drinking with Hijikata, talking to him, being with him.

And while he may be tipsy, he’s still very aware of the emotions that suddenly take over and God, he misses Hijikata so much, so much that he lifts a hand, reaches across the table and grabs his sleeve.

Hijikata looks at him, really looks at him and he misses having Hijikata’s gaze and his attention directed at him. Gintoki pulls at his sleeve until he responds and starts leaning in, and he leans in as well. He wants to kiss Hijikata, he misses kissing him, but there’s another thing he needs to do. He brushes his lips across Hijikata’s cheek until he reaches his ear and whispers, “I love you.”

He pulls back enough to be able to face Hijikata and the other looks so stunned that any tipsiness he might have had is completely gone.

“I’m not drunk, I know what I’m saying,” Gintoki says before Hijikata makes any assumptions, “I’m gonna remember this tomorrow and I’m not gonna mean it any less.” Gintoki tries to stay calm, but he can’t help the racing of his heart or the heat in the back of his neck.

He keeps searching Hijikata’s face for any reaction, but it seems like his brain is still processing what just happened.

It’s a few moments later that Gintoki sees the change in Hijikata’s face, eyes gazing at him, first questioning, then understanding and finally, finally Hijikata gives a proper reaction by shutting his eyes, ducking his head so that Gintoki can only see the top of it, and lowly says, “I know.”

Gintoki can literally hear the smile in his voice, and that’s enough for the tension to leave his body completely and he remembers how to be normal around Hijikata again. However, the emotions that keep screaming at him how much he misses Hijikata aren’t gone at all, so he buries a hand in Hijikata’s hair and pulls lightly at the locks enough to make him raise his head again and Gintoki must say Hijikata’s blushing a lot less than he expected him to, but he doesn’t have time to tease him about that because they’re finally kissing again and Gintoki feels so relieved and content and perfect and Hijikata must be feeling so much as well, because he’s letting Gintoki kiss him in public while his commander remains passed out right next to him and nothing matters but the two of them.  

The first time Sakata Gintoki kisses Hijikata Toushirou in public is also the only time Gintoki voices his love out for anyone and it’s just as scary as he always thought it would be.

But it’s also one of the happiest he’s ever seen Hijikata smile and he’ll be damned if he ever admits how much it took his breath away.

  Hijikata Toushirou’s favorite moment shared with Sakata Gintoki happens on their third Christmas as a couple.

It’s a snowy Christmas morning, Hijikata wakes up to find Gintoki’s head on his shoulder and their legs tangled together. Hijikata doesn’t feel the least bit sleepy, there’s so much nervousness inside him that he doesn’t really know how he even managed to fall asleep at all.

He wants to get done with it quickly, he wants to breathe normally again, to remove the countless knots in his stomach, to steady his hands.

So he begins to untangle himself from Gintoki – which is more than enough to bring him back from the land of sleep – and moves to get up.

As expected, Gintoki lets out a displeased whine and rubs his eyes. “Where – “ a yawn, “are you goin’?” Gintoki blinks a couple of times and glances around. “F’ck, it’s too early t’be up, why’re you up?” he mumbles.

Hijikata sighs. This is it.

He reaches into his jacket’s inner pocket and takes out the piece of metal that has been weighing him down for days and weeks now. He throws it at Gintoki, who catches it despite being half asleep.

Gintoki sits up, gives him a half-hearted glare and opens his fist, taking in the sight of the silver band in his hand.

A ring.

Hijikata can’t breathe, he feels too hot in this room even though it’s barely warm enough not to want to hurry back and wrap the blanket around himself. His palms are sweating, there’s a lump in his throat, and his stomach twists so badly he feels like throwing up.

It doesn’t help that Gintoki is literally just staring at the ring like he’s never seen one before, doesn’t even know what it is. Hijikata tries so hard not to fidget, to keep a composure he knows he doesn’t have, and the idiot in front of him is not making this any easier.

It takes Gintoki an agonizing minute to react. Hijikata is paying attention to the smallest details, so he sees the way his lover’s jaw goes slack, how his eyebrows lift a bit, and his eyes completely awake. He hears the moment Gintoki’s breath hitches, how he swallows before directing his gaze – so slowly – to Hijikata’s face.

His lips move – probably trying to ask what the fuck is going on? – but only air comes out of Gintoki’s mouth.

Hijikata decides that while they’re not the type to talk about their feelings, they do have moments when they want the other to know what they’re thinking and what they’re feeling. This is one of those moments. 

“I – I know this is,” Hijikata motions with his hands, trying to find a suitable word, “sudden,” no shit, he grimaces, “but I… I want to do this.”

Letting out a shaky breath, Hijikata makes his way back to their futon, and kneels in front of Gintoki.

“We probably don’t need this, we don’t need any sort of,” Hijikata shrugs, “physical proof – that we’re together. We can go on without it, but,” he sighs. Gintoki is staring at him so intensely, making it even more difficult to force the words out. He swallows before continuing, “but I want to spend the rest of my life picking fights with you, kicking your ass every day, watching you take another step in the direction of becoming a diabetic old man,” he chuckles breathlessly. The more he talks, the more confident he becomes, so he reaches – with a pathetically shaking hand – to take the silver ring from Gintoki’s palm.

Hijikata feels his face heat up at what he’s intending to say next, but he wants this, and he wants Gintoki to know how much he wants him. “You will be my,” he clears his throat, trying not to let his embarrassment get the best of him, “my diabetic old man,” he feels his face growing hotter, “and I want everyone to know that.”

He looks at Gintoki, whose head is tilted to the side, eyes softened and the corners of his mouth curled up, ah – he’s giving him that you’re such an idiot look from all those years ago. That affectionate smile that took Hijikata’s breath away before their first kiss sealed the deal.

This time, he remembers to smile back though. “I want you to know that.”

His other hand, the one not holding the ring, touches Gintoki’s palm in a questioning gesture, and Gintoki looks at their hands for one long moment, the smile slides off his face but his eyes still soft, taking everything in, Hijikata knows he’s beyond trying to hide his affection and he can see it. He sees how much Sakata Gintoki feels for him and he knows Gintoki sees how much he feels for him, too.

If he didn’t before, then that cheesy-as-fuck speech definitely gave him a good hint.

Gintoki turns his hand over and brings it closer to the ring in Hijikata’s hand. Hijikata looks into Gintoki’s eyes and searches for any sign of doubt, but all he sees is the ever-existing want in those red eyes that mirrors his own.

He slides the silver band into Gintoki’s ring finger with his pathetically shaking hand.

Then silence.

They just sit there, not saying a word, letting everything sink in, both staring at Gintoki’s hand and trying to control the overwhelming emotions storming inside them.

Gintoki breaks the silence a few minutes later with a whisper, “and you?”

“Hmm?”

Gintoki lifts his hands and slides them into Hijikata’s hair, pulling him closer till their foreheads are touching.

“You’re mine, too,” Hijikata feels the heat spreading across his face again, and Gintoki smirks at that. “Considering your addiction to mayo and that shitty cancer stick, you might not even live that long but – “ Hijikata growls, “ – I still want everyone to know you’re Gin-san’s property,” Gintoki’s smirk turns into a playful grin. “Where’s yours?”

Hijikata glares. “Shouldn’t you be getting me one?”

Gintoki scoffs, “you’d die before I can afford one. Seriously, where’s yours?”

Hijikata clicks his tongue and removes himself from Gintoki’s grasp, gets up and fetches an identical silver ring from the inner pocket of his jacket.

Well, this is embarrassing. It’s not like he can just put the ring on his finger and be done with it, that sounds too – ugh, just no.

Gintoki can probably read his train of thought because he lets out a short laugh, gets up and walks to where Hijikata is standing with a scowl on his face.

Taking the ring from Hijikata, Gintoki gives him one more playful smirk before kneeling in front of him and holding his left hand between his own. “Now, princess, will you marry the handsome Gin-san?”

Hijikata is so sure that his red face goes a few shades darker. Why does this little piece of shit have to be so shameless!?

“Fucking Yoro – “

“Hey, hey, hey! I’m teaching you how to do proposals decently! No need to be so rude!” Gintoki mocks while sliding the ring into Hijikata’s finger.

“Fuck you!” Hijikata screams and hits Gintoki’s head with his other hand.

“Ouch! What kind of ‘yes’ was that, you asshole!?”

Gintoki kicks him and Hijikata falls on his ass.

“You little fucker – “

“Ungrateful jerk – “

“ – fucking perm head – “

“ – nicotine freak – “

“ – sorry excuse of an adult – “

“ – worst food taste in history – “

“ – who the fuck puts red beans on rice – “

“ – who the fuck feeds cats mayonnaise – “

Eventually, their insults and hits give way to the first kiss they share that morning. It’s one of the most heartwarming kisses Hijikata has ever shared with Gintoki and he’ll never forget it.

Hijikata Toushirou’s favorite moment shared with Sakata Gintoki happens on their third Christmas as a couple, with them insulting each other and beating the shit out of each other and Hijikata can feel the smooth surface of the silver ring on Gintoki’s finger with every blow they exchange, can feel the weight of his own ring, and sees the infinity he has with this silver haired sadistic piece of shit.

MERRY CHRISTMAS @natodiangelo <3333333 BETCHA DIDN’T SEE THIS COMING HAHAAA ;)) I felt so happy that I got to be your Secret Santa, it made me want to give my very best to repay you for all the beautiful works you share with me <333 I SINCERELY HOPE YOU ENJOY READING THIS AS MUCH AS I ENJOYED WRITING IT!  

[fightingdiamond]

KCON LA 2017 fanaccount!!

part 1: Seventeen-teen-teen (I got to hi-touch them!!!) and a bit of VIXX~ 

Oh my goddd it's past 2 am as I'm writing this and I'm really worn out + still going to the convention tomorrow (Astroooo) but I wanna write this up before I go to sleep and forget 😂😂😂

First a bit about day 1, my early morning flight got delayed so I was like 😱 bad omens but the convention check-in line was amazingly smooth this year, I was prepared to wait hours in the hot sun from what I'd read online about previous years???? That didn't happen so 👍🏽

I was praying to get a Seventeen or GOT7 hi-touch with my ticket (to be clear, I only wanted GOT7 to trade for Seventeen 😉) but I got SF9 instead. Which is fine, I would've been happy to do SF9's hi-touch if I hadn't gotten Seventeen. I spent most of Friday in the trading area desperately looking for a Seventeen hi-touch, and was almost resigned to my fate/actually bought an Astro hi-touch because I thought I wouldn't get Seventeen. But one popped up at the last minute!!! I was expecting to be asked to pay $400+ and I love Seventeen but I'm not willing to spend that much money just for a hi-touch, but the seller was really kind so it worked out!!! 

I don't think I really did much else Friday, just walked around looking at merch and wondering whether to buy or not 😂 I filmed myself saying random stuff about the convention to my sister! She's at school so she couldn't come with me 😓

Saturday morning I woke up and had a few minutes of panic because HOLY CRAP I'M SEEING SVT TODAY. I GET TO TOUCH SVT TODAY. It was totally unreal and I wasn't even at the event or even the convention yet, I was literally in my bed 😂 I couldn't believe it was really happening!

I felt really bad because I sold the two Seventeen audiences I got on Friday as contingency, and I know my fellow Carats really wanted that hi-touch 😭 I'm sorry Carats!!! Next time!!!

I went to the Carat fan meeting event for a bit, it was pretty cute! I've never seen so many Carats in my life before 😂 so many of them came with their parents too~

Around noon or so I was just sitting outside the expo hall and I noticed people were starting to line up, so I went over and asked what was going on. Supposedly ~some idols~ were gonna come through, maybe VIXX! So I stuck around - I wasn't planning to go to VIXX's fan engagement because it was right before Seventeen's, and I needed to line up for a good view for Seventeen 😂 

I want to say it was anticlimactic, but it kinda wasn't? Sure, I was waiting there for a while, and I'm short so it was hard to see what was going on. And when they actually came through, they walked so fast I didn't have time to react! I wanted to shout Hakyeon's name but it all happened so fast that I couldn't get the words out 😂

But I did see them in real life! I was literally like, 5 feet away from them?? Hyuk was first and I actually wasn't sure if it was him for a second, either I've been out of VIXX for too long or he looks different in real life? Probably at least a bit the latter, haha. Not in a bad way tho! His face just looks softer in real life. Also, he's really tall! But at the same time, not as tall as I expected? Like, it felt like I was expecting all of them to be almost larger than life. It was really amazing seeing them in real life and just having that world-changing reality check that yeah, these are real, living, breathing humans who just happen to be celebrities. They looked so....normal, in a way? Like I see them and I realize that in some other universe where they're not idols, they're just regular people I might've known. Idk if this is making any sense, haha. Of course I've been aware of the fact that I shouldn't put idols on a pedestal - VIXX themselves have definitely taught me some lessons about how to deal with it when idols that I love do problematic things - but it's one thing to accept intellectually that idols aren't perfect, and another to actually have them in front of you without any of the usual digital barriers, just casually walking by like any other stranger you pass by on the street every day. So yeah, overall it was pretty amazing to see them, really refreshing in a way, even if it was only for a few minutes, if that. 

Mm anyway, Hongbin looked as pretty as ever and Wonshik was really charismatic (although I wish he had smiled). I remember while I was doing my research for KCON tips and tricks, someone said Jaehwan looks like a doll in real life? Whoever that was, you're totally right. Can confirm. I was a bit surprised honestly, I never thought of him as a top visual in VIXX but he's astoundingly pretty. Taekwoon.....lmao I'm so sorry, I literally don't recall seeing Taekwoon 😂 I must've been distracted 😕

Overall I was pretty pleased with my luck XD I totally forgot that they were coming to the expo hall at all and I'm glad I was there just in time. Most importantly, I was really glad I'd seen VIXX first, because I felt a lot more prepared for Seventeen after that 😂

Also Kevin Woo (U-KISS' Kevin) walked past me on his way to a panel, so that was kinda cool. 

It was still more than two hours until Seventeen's engagement, but I saw one of my twitter mutuals said they were already lining up for it??? So I hurried over and got in line. The fan engagements are all standing, no seats for some reason, so I really wanted a good view 😂 I talked to people in line, and made a new friend! That was actually one of my biggest fears about KCON - I'm really shy about talking to people, and I also kind of feel out of place among KCON fans. That's still kinda true, but at least I made one friend 😄

I was so nervous while I was in line, and I don't think I stopped being nervous until Seventeen had come in and were on stage, tbh. Seeing them in front of me was so calming ❤️ It was so nice being surrounded by so many Carats tho! On the screen in the hall they were playing MVs of the artists in the lineup and everyone was cheering and singing along for Don't Wanna Cry. 

I recorded the whole fan engagement session including Seventeen walking in and I can upload that later, so I'll just toss out the things that stuck in my memory:

-I was WHOLLY unprepared for Jun to walk out first?????? He looks like a goddamn elf in real life, he's so beautiful. I'll still grumble about his hair being blond and grumble a bit louder about how he should eat more and fill out those cheeks again, but he's so beautiful. Similar to Hyuk, not as tall as I expected (also, I think he just has lousy posture). 

-Dino????? Is so tol???? But also so smol?????? Also I'm sorry, this is going to sound REALLY weird, but his head is kinda big proportional to his body? 😂😂😂😂😂 he's still a cutie tho. 

-Coups was so excited and happy, he was smiling and waving with both hands and I swooned. His black hair is gorgeous and I feel so blessed. 

-Jeonghan had glasses!! I swooned again. 

-Seungkwan is ADORABLE. I think up until he came out I'd just been cheering, not yelling members' names, but when he came out I just suddenly found myself screaming his name lmao. I love him ❤️

-I'm not a makeup expert by any means so I could be wrong, but they all seemed to have pretty heavy makeup on? Not a bad thing at all!!! Just a comment. It made all of them look really gorgeous. Especially Woozi, his skin looked so pristine and soft. 

-I kept waiting for Hoshi but he never came 😔 I hope he's resting well and that he isn't too sick!!!

It's getting a bit late haha so I'll skip the actual session for now and talk about the hi-touch, since I don't have a video for that! They made us put our phones away, although one of the girls with me just left her phone recording in her pocket 😮 tips for next time!!

So my plan was to alternate saying 수고했어요 (you've worked hard) and 건강하세요 (be healthy) because I knew I wouldn't have time to say both to each member, and they were all close together so I hope they each heard both phrases 😅 and I was planning to speak English to Joshua and say "take care of your health", and Mandarin - 您辛苦了 (you've worked hard) and 祝您身体健康 (be healthy) - to Jun and Minghao. I really wanted to say something meaningful in the short time I had! I didn't want to say something as trite as "saranghaeyo" or anything. 

Actually my rehearsed lines went pretty well, I should really give myself more credit for that. I couldn't really tell if they were more happy to hear my message than normal - of course they're always happy to meet their fans, but I couldn't tell if they were more happy than that to hear their native languages, ya know? I hope they appreciated it though 😓 ironically I actually stumbled on the English - I don't remember why, maybe I looked at Jisoo's face or something haha, but I suddenly got really shy and instead said "thank you for coming" while not looking him in the eye. He thanked me though, and I could hear the smile in his voice 😌

I'm really mad at myself about the eye contact thing though! I keep feeling bad about not looking some members in the eye; I hope they know it's out of shyness and not because I love them any less! Honestly I have this problem in real life too, my eyes will just wander during conversations 😒 I need to fix this (and not just for if I ever meet Seventeen again 😂)

Individual impressions:

-Woozi, oh, Woozi, my poor Jihoonie. He seemed super exhausted. I don't want to cause any trouble but I think Carats understand - he seemed really happy to see his fans, but at the same time very tired. His smile seemed like one of those polite smiles, but like I said, I totally understand. His lil dimples were really cute too! Also, he has a really manly vibe? LOL idk he’s so smol but also surprisingly manly????

-Seokmin, my sunshine, I think I might've talked over him by accident?????? Lmaooo I have no idea, it happened really quickly. As I was moving from Jihoon to Seokmin I think Seokmin was saying something to me, probably just hello, but I couldn't hear and by the time I realized, I was already opening my mouth to talk. I can't really remember much about his face or expression or anything but I remember getting the vibe that he was a really sweet person. It was probably his smile 😍

-Joshua: see above. I'm sorry babe! I love you, I'm just shy!

-Seungkwan, my baby boo, I'm so sorry, I barely remember hi-touching him 😭😭😭 if I ever see you again Seungkwan, I'll give you lots of love!

-Jeonghan, my angel, I think I was also too shy to look at him? I don't remember his face 😂😂😂 I love you Jeonghan! 😭

-Vernon, oh my god, Hansol, my child. He said hello to me as I moved up to him with his like, classic crooked grin and I about died on the spot. His voice is so lovely, oh my god, and the way he was smiling with his eyebrow quirked I just can't! I didn't realize until way way later that he'd talked to me in Korean (or rather, the importance of that fact). I wonder if he thought I was Korean because he heard me speaking Korean to Jeonghan? I'm under no illusions here about my Korean ability lol so I'm not sure. Either way he seemed really excited to be hearing Korean spoken to him and my heart melted when I realized that. I had purposely decided that I was going to speak Korean to Hansol for this very reason - because I remember reading about how he's lived in Korea for so long and how he said before he identifies more with his Korean side. I figured he'd appreciate a message in Korean and I feel really proud that I was right. 

-Mingyu, my darling, I think I was still freaking out from talking to Hansol lmao. I love Mingyu more than....a lot of things but he didn't make much of an impression on me? Like, he was exactly how I expected him to be, no more, no less - very tall, very beautiful, very excited. It's not a bad thing 😂😂😂 thank you for saving my heart, darling!

-Coups, my love, I feel bad that I couldn't show him more love with the time I had. I had another attack of shyness around him and didn't look him in the eye 😭 I tried to touch his hand a little longer to make up for it...also I'm SO regretful that I didn't look at his face more attentively because I know he was smiling, but I didn't even take the time to appreciate his dimples 😭😭😭

-Wonwoo, my precious, I'm sorry I also don't remember much of him. Whose idea was it to have hip hop unit line up together?????????? I, a lowly hip hop unit stan, am DECEASED. I was already so overwhelmed from the others that I didn't have the capacity to appreciate Wonwoo 😭😭😭

-Minghao, oh god, Minghao, my everything. I'm not gonna lie, he stole my heart today. Recently I had been feeling increasingly fond towards him for no particular reason, so I kinda saw it coming, but after the hi-touch I was just like, wow. My life has been changed. Right before the hi-touch started, as we were lining up, I was yelling Minghao's name trying to get him to notice me. No luck 😔 but I spoke Mandarin to him during the hi-touch, and he gave me this radiant smile and thanked me in Mandarin. Holy shit, his voice. I'm still getting shivers thinking about it now. I swear to god my heart wanted to fly out of my chest. In hindsight though, I think he seemed a bit tired, similar to Woozi? I'm not sure if it's just his smile lines but yeah, he seemed kind of tired. He was really gracious about the whole thing though. 

-Chan, what a smol, especially sandwiched between the two giants that are China line. LOL I mean he’s actually pretty tall too, he just gives off the vibe that makes me want to coddle him 😅 I hope he got to meet a lot of people who bias him! He deserves the world ❤️

-Jun, wow. I feel a little bad for reiterating that he's beautiful? The boy's talented too, make no mistake! Appreciate Wen Junhui 2kalways! But anyway he seemed a bit tired and withdrawn during the hi-touch, I felt a little twinge in my heart. I had a split second where I freaked out mentally over the Mandarin so I just ended up saying "you've worked hard" to him even though I'd already said it to Minghao. Actually I don't think I ended up saying anything about staying healthy to any of the members of performance unit who were present.....I feel like there's some kind of cosmic irony here. Anyway I hope Jun appreciated the Mandarin even though he didn't say anything! 😅

I really wanted Hoshi to come so I could tell him to get well soon, but of course I don't blame him. I hope he's back on his feet soon!

I was curious about Seventeen’s actual heights lmao but they were all kind of bending down/crouching to accommodate the fans! So sweet of them 😍 (but I still will never know how tall they really are.......hahaha)

God it's 4:40 already 😂😂😂 anyway! I'm gonna sleep now! I'll talk more about the concert later, but it was So Good oh my god. I've now adopted SF9 as my babies and reaffirmed my belief that Seventeen are gods 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 Vernon and Seungkwan are the sweetest little things and Mingyu and Minghao are precious together. 

TL;DR: I went in to the hi-touch a Coups bias and I left a Minghao bias 😂😍😂😍😂