#and it's also messy/jumps between people in not the same order everytime

[stevieselfships]

:3 >.< xD :o) for whoever u want!!

:3 - Who was your first f/o?

none other than steve harrington! i don’t really remember if there was one before him, but he’s the first i strongly started making up “if we were dating…” scenarios with.

>.< - Do you have any xenogender/microlabel headcanons for your f/o?

(basing this off of like… asexual being a main label and something like demisexual being a microlabel. is that how microlabels work?? a lot of my f/os have these though so i won't go into great detail, so feel free to ask about specific ones if you'd like.)

stu: omnisexual (someone who is attracted to all genders where gender plays a role in one's attraction) and apresromantic (someone who experiences romantic attraction only after another form of attraction is felt).

i feel like stu is equally attracted to men and women (i won't be mentioning nonbinary people, sorry), but he knows there's a notable difference between his feelings with each. with girls, he's softer and more romantic, plays the role of a very stereotypical movie boyfriend. he loves it! he does! he just doesn't feel that same way with other boys. with those relationships, he can let out rougher sides of himself, like playfighting or knifefighting if the other agrees. he does not have to be so gentle, he knows men can understand his emotions better, at least the rougher parts. he overall feels more comfortable with men in an emotional sense.

and on the apresromantic side of things, he has to have some kind of other feelings first, like stated before. he has to have a friendship with them (platonic attraction), or think that they look really cool (aesthetic attraction), or would want to be physically close to them (sensual attraction), or would want to date them after they hook-up (sexual attraction). he can't just want to date someone based on very loosely based things. he may be a whore, but not that much of one!

stevo: heteroflexible (someone who is primarily hetero but may occasionally be attracted to the same gender) and reciprosexual (someone who only experiences sexual attraction when they know the other person is sexually attracted to them first).

stevo mainly likes girls. he had never thought of this before bob's death, but afterwards of it, while figuring himself out, he started to realize not all boys think about kissing pretty boys sometimes. he started to realize that during punk shows or parties, he'd rarely see a boy in the crowd that he thought was pretty in the way a girl is pretty. when he'd lay to go to sleep at night, he would wonder what it would've been like to kiss him, maybe hook-up with him in the bathroom, like he had done many times with girls in the past. yeah... he figured out that wasn't the case for a lot of men.

i'm basing him being reciprosexual on the fact that we only saw stevo be with sandy after they were already together, meaning she probably wanted him first? at least, that's how it happened to me. and with brandy, he said something like "so... you like me?" which to me, means he needed the confirmation for he himself to feel anything. this is even more supported because they end up kissing after this. if he feels this way romantically, he definitely feels this way sexually too. he needs to be wanted first.

tim: hyperromantic.

i see him as the clingiest motherfucker to ever live. he hangs off of his partner (me). he cannot live without being attached at the hip. he's fully draped over me 24/7. and he wants to makeout at any given chance, right in front of people. he doesn't care who sees, he just wants the closeness all. the. fucking. time.

vessel: favperromantic (someone with bpd who only experiences romantic attraction to their favorite person) and hypersexual aro (someone who is hypersexual AND aromantic).

vess becomes obsessive very quickly, which is why he only feels romantic feelings for his favorite person. the obsession and dependency were already there, so it was almost like it was a matter of time. his bpd largely effects his romantic feelings in this sense, it can mend or break him in the matter of moments. the goods are really good and the bads are the end of the world worthy. moods are very dependent upon his fp, obviously, so romantic gestures make or break this as well.

this man has a hiiiiiigh sex drive... like holy FUCK. a lot of his thoughts are taken up by sexual acts, even if he means them in a loving sense. he loves to think about how he can pleasure, how badly he always wants to make his partner feel good, begs them for it quite often. but with being favperromantic, this places him on the aro spectrum, so therefore he's hypersexual aro.

ian: hypersexual.

based on the "sex" in the movie, i think he's very experienced in what was asked of him. he either thinks about these things a lot, or he acts them out a lot. he loves creating scenes, whether real or in his head. it's a happy place for him, somewhere he feels the most himself. he needs this, needs it to be a rather large part of what he needs from a relationship, or multiple sexual partners, or hook-ups, or needs from himself.

simon: hypersexual.

when does simon not think about sex? it's almost like an obsession to him. he adores sex, adores it. much like ian, he loves to create scenes, real or in his head (he much prefers them to be real, he feels a bit pathetic to get himself off to such things). it feels euphoric for him, a place to fully put himself into, a good mold for him. he hates fitting into boxes, but sex is a box he doesn't mind. it gets his feelings out in all the right ways, ways music can't do for him even.

trait: demifluxsexual (someone who is demisexual but has fluctuating sexual attraction based on emotional connections. they can still have an emotional bond with another person, but the fluctuation and intensity of their sexual attraction is uncontrollable).

has a weird relationship with sex in general. she often feels almost completely asexual. i think their demifluxsexuality is more like being acespike with demisexual being added to that.

astarion: hyperromantic.

look at him and tell me he is not hyperromantic! do i need to explain this? he dotes on his partner constantly, it's unrenlentless praise. all he wants is for his darling, his pet, his sweet, to know exactly how much he adores them. he never grows tired of it, not once. he doesn't let up on it. he lets them know loud and clear just how appreciative he is that they've chosen him to love, to care for. even through disbelief, he doesn't go ungrateful. this isn't to mention how much he melts at any praise or recognition back. he will gladly accept compliment after compliment. he loves attention from his love, any at all that he can get.

art: favperplatonic (someone with bpd who only experiences platonic attraction to their favorite person).

art deals with the struggle to have any type of attraction to anyone at all. i mean, unless you would consider wanting to murder someone a type of attraction? besides, that's for his own enjoyment anyways, it's not like he picks anyone for any specific reason. so, the closest thing he can get to a type of "attraction" is through his fp, which is something that's hard to understand with his lack of attraction. though, his fp extends off of who a safe person is for him with his avpd.

glenn: coeoromantic (someone who will only experience romantic attraction to someone if they developed that feeling upon meeting them the first time, it's similar to the concept of "love at first sight").

basing this off of his relationship with maggie. he legit fell in love with her the first time he saw her, that's enough evidence for this alone!!! he loved her on first meet alone, and those feelings only grew after getting to know her more.

xD - Who would be your f/o’s favorite Creepypasta and why? What about yours?

admittedly i do not know creepypastas like… mostly at all. i only know a few by name and appearance. so these will be made on basic knowledge! sorry for being off character!

art: laughing jack. i watched this art timelapse video on youtube a couple days ago of laughing jack and i immediately thought "art would love this guy!" and it's totallllly not because they look vaguely similar. art isn't vain! (lying)

vessel: based on the photo used on the website i'm referencing right now... vess would like seedeater. very creature! or zalgo.

simon: very basic... would like slenderman i think! he could get into that one slenderman game i think. i can imagine him playing it and me giggling whenever he gets jumpscared. him pretending to not be scared would be funny and also him yelling when he dies would be funny too.

wade: would also like slenderman! he thinks the concept is kinda a little lame but deep down is like "yeah... it's kinda cool" would like splendorman more.

:o) - What or who do you think your f/o would kin?

art: THE JOKER! this totallyyyyy isn’t because art’s actor loves the joker and it’s a dream role of his. totally not based upon that at all… but i do think art would see himself in the joker. could be a special interest to him kind of deal.

vessel: kins cryptids, ghosts/spirits, cats, sometimes dogs. he's very creature in the woods. it was the life he was meant to have.

i am severely blanking on this one, sorry!

:^* - Who would be your f/o’s favorite character from My Little Pony and why? What about yours?

adding this one on my own because i really want to answer it! again though, i do not know mlp like… mostly at all. i only know basically the mains by name and appearance. so these will be made on basic knowledge! sorry if this is very off character!

simon: APPLEJACK!!!! he would fucking haaate to admit to this, but the pony with a cowboy hat has his heart.

vessel: twilight sparkle! he likes that she's purple. would be sad none of the main ponies use red in a good way that he would like better.

stu: rainbow dash (gay!!!!!!)

steve: fluttershy... finds her reeeeeally cute <3 he would love her so much, thinks she is the cutest thing ever. has argued with both erica and dustin about which pony is the cutest.

astarion: rarity!!! he thinks she looks fancy and cool, so he thinks she's the coolest because of fancy. blame his vampire-isms!

art: rainbow dash! or maybe pinkie pie? he would point at the tv and grin at me, then look at the tv, then back to me making heart hands at the character while tilting his head to the side all lovey. is very cute about it, to be honest.

wade: sooooo pinkie pie. like COME ON! he calls yukio this so...? and he loves yukio. it's affectionate.

I FORGOT TO ANSWER MY FAVORITE!!! my favorite is rainbow dash! that pony is transmasc as fuck <33

[scorsoneamelia]

HIIII!! i wrote something fun and cute about amelia bringing scout to work with her :))) 

           It was only two days, three nights without Link but according to Scout he has been gone foooorever. Scout says it’s been years since he’s seen his father, even though it has been two days and he even saw Link over Facetime the day before. He had to fly out of Seattle for a surgery because the patient wasn’t stable enough to travel to the orthopaedic surgeon, so Link had to go to them. Scout was upset, saying he hadn’t seen daddy in a very long time and that he missed him, so Amelia let Scout share the bed with her that night.

           She was woken up from the morning sunrise rays creeping through a space in the closed curtains, the little bit of sunlight managing to light up the bedroom. There was a soft breathing beside her and it was Scout, in the middle of the bed and curled into her side as if he didn’t have any room on the other side of the bed. The corner of the blanket was only covering his legs, the rest of his body uncovered and he was laying on his back. One of his arms was laid across his belly, and the other was laying flat above his head and his shirt was slightly bunched up, revealing his belly button.

             He looked so calm and peaceful, and his sandy brown hair was messy, pieces of it falling in front of his closed eyes. The day before, Scout refused to go to school because he didn’t want to, and his excuse would be because daddy wasn’t here, and that was all he would say when Amelia would ask why. It took her to promise him that he could join her at work for the day if it meant he would go to school, so today, as she promised, it was bring your kid to work day.

              “Angel,” Amelia whispered softly, sitting up from the bed and sitting up, her back against the head board. “Scout.” She said a bit louder this time, a free hand brushing through his hair.

               His long eyes lashes revealed his deep blue eyes, matching Amelia’s, (she likes to think he has her eye color, even though Link would disagree saying they both had blue eyes) and he was letting out a huff, before stretching his body out. “Good morning, angel.” She saw Link in him so much, and no matter how many people said they saw her in him as well, all she could see was a mini Link and it made her heart flutter everytime.

                “As I promised, you’ll be coming to work with me today,” she said, the corners of her lips curling into a soft smile. “But we have to get ready.”

                 There was excitement all of his face and it was like he forgot why he was so sad the previous night, because he was already jumping—-literally jumping out of bed. He squealed out a yay and was already running to his bedroom to try and find himself some clothes, even though Amelia knew she’d soon have to go and help him because the clothes he’d be pick would be awful.

                After the two of them finished getting ready for their day, they both stood facing the mirror and Scout was standing on a stool because otherwise he would have barely reached the sink. (His height is definitely from her.) Scout pulled out his own toothbrush and mirrored his mom, the two of them brushing their teeth and Scout was messy, but at least he was doing it. There was toothpaste all over his face and it was running down his hands and he wasn’t exactly clean when he was spitting it into the sink. He made sure to match his mom, brushing his teeth for the same amount of time as she did before they had to leave.

               She gave him the run down on the way to work, saying he had to be on his best behaviour because she was working and that sometimes her job can be busy. She’s never had an issue with Scout misbehaving but sometimes, his energy, especially when he’s excited, can be high and around patients she needed him to know that he had to be good.

               She didn’t have any surgeries scheduled today, she made sure that her day was light, a couple consults and follow-up on post-ops. Scout was going to be her lefthand, assisting her whenever she needed, or at least she was going to let him think he was helping her.

              He wore a white coat, Link’s to be specific, and he was drowning in it. It came down past his knees and the sleeves were longer than his own arms but Scout insisted he continued to wear it because it was his dad’s.

              He came with her on rounds, and she allowed him to carry around the tablet, it being too big for him to carry with one hand. They were stopped in between patients because nurses and other doctors would stop them, introducing themselves and because some would just squeal and talk about how cute he was.

              There was a consult in the pit that she got paged to, and she brought him along. He was no longer carrying the tablet, instead he put both hands in the front coat (very large) pockets because his mom had her hands in her coat pockets and he wanted to be like her.

             “What do we got?” Amelia asked, pulling the curtain open to reveal a patient on the table, a few scratches and bruises covering his body and Meredith was there, giving a consult as well.

             “MVC,” Meredith started, pulling her blue gloves off of her hands. “Has a head lac.” Turning around, she bent down to get eye level with Scout before he was giggling and throwing his arms around her neck.

             “Auntie Mer!” He was yelling now, excitement flooding his face. Amelia was examining the patient, using her flashlight to check his pupils.

             “It just looks like a mild concussion, but order a head CT to rule out any bleeding, just in case.” She told the nurse, her hand was put back into her pocket along with her small flashlight.

             “Dr. Shepherd-Lincoln,” Meredith nodded, a smile pulling at her face because the look of her nephew in an oversized white coat was too cute. Meredith could see Link in him, as well, but he had some of Amelia’s qualities.

             “He looks so much like Link,” Meredith commented before she stood up, facing Amelia. “He’s got your smile though.”

             Scout went to stand next to his mom, matching her posture, (trying to) with arms crossed over his chest, just like she was. Amelia looked down at him while Scout was looking between the two, happiness radiating from him. “He’s definitely going to be a heartbreaker.” Amelia joked, causing a chuckle to come from Meredith.

            “Mommy let me come to work with her today, instead of school!” He was cheering, his smile reaching his eyes.

             “Well, I think you’re going to have a lot of fun here!” Meredith replied, her smile was warm and her eyes met Amelia’s. They were both thinking the same thing; if only Derek were here to see this.

             After they shared their goodbyes, they were leaving the emergency room and making their way to the attendings lounge, because she needed a coffee. Upon entering, Scout was talking about her job as if he was a doctor, saying that he was the best worker in the whole building, better than her, too. In the attendings lounge they were met up with Bailey, Webber and Jo, who squealed and immediately stood from her seat.

             “Oh ..my ...god,” Jo said, pulling out her phone to take a picture. “He’s a mini Link!” Bailey and Webber adverted their eyes from each other, to look over at Scout who was smiling for the camera, the smile taking over his face and one arm of the jacket falling off of his shoulder.

              Pouring herself a coffee, she also grabbed one of the doughnuts that were provided and handed it to Scout, who looked like he had just won the lottery. “Someone is one lucky guy.” Bailey spoke up, walking over to the three of them. “I’m Miranda—Dr. Bailey.” She held her hand out as a casual greeting, as Scout’s small hand grabbed her and they were shaking hands.

               “I’m Scout!” He introduced himself, as if nobody in the building knew him. “Dr. Shepherd-Lincoln!!”

               “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Dr. Shepherd-Lincoln.” Bailey was laughing, Scout gently shaking her hand. He was making his way around the room, going up to each person to show them the flashlight he borrowed from Amelia, and showing off his jacket.

                She was watching him in awe, he was perfect. She never imagined her life with kids, but now she can’t imagine her life without him. It was crazy to her that it was possible for her— anyone, to love someone this much. Sometimes she could feel all of her love in her entire body, she just wanted to hug him so tightly and never let him go. He is her entire world.

               “Alright, well,” Amelia was heading towards the door. “We’ve got work to do.”

_____

                It was her lunch break, Link made sure to call at least twice today because he wanted to talk to Scout and he wanted to remind Amelia that he loved her. The two of them had rounded on her post-up patients, Scout putting a smile on all of her patients faces. For most of her patients, Scout would try and repeat whatever his mom was telling them although he failed because he couldn’t pronounce half of the words; nor did he understand. Amelia ended up finding a second flashlight and she let Scout hold onto it, shining it into peoples eyes at the same time she did it, pretending he knew what he was looking for. 

              At the table sat her and Scout, as well as Meredith and Maggie. Scout was telling Maggie about her day, and the sleeve of the jacket was getting into the ketchup and fries that was on his plate, and she’ll made a mental note to wash it before Link saw it. “Baby, let’s take Daddy’s jacket off before it gets dirty.” She was reaching over now, pulling the jacket off of both of his arms and placed it in her lap where it will be safe.

              Link called just before he had gone into surgery, mentioning that Jo had sent him the photos of Scout earlier and he made sure to tell Scout that the jacket looked better on him than it did on himself. So now, Scout was telling everyone that the jacket was no longer Link’s but that it was his. He told Maggie about how he looked into everyone’s eyes and how he helped her treat a patient (even though he didn’t), and he also told her that he was the best doctor in the whole entire world. 

             Before she had a chance to finish her lunch, her pager was going off and she was being paged to a surgery, her now light day not being so light. “I’m being paged to OR 3,” she was standing from her chair. “Okay, Scout, you’re going to have to stay with Aunt Maggie just for a bit because I’m needed somewhere and you can’t come with me.” She was glancing over at Maggie now. “That’s okay, right?

“Perfectly fine.” Maggie nodded and she was kissing Scout before she left, making her way to the OR. Scout continued talking about his day with Meredith and Maggie, completely forgetting about the french fries and hot dog that he begged Amelia for. 

[choibinn3]

get to know me game!!

tagged by: @tyunni

tagging: @tyuncafe this is suuper long btw so dont mind it if u dont wanna do it!! hehe

what day is your birthday? dec 8th, sunghoons bday 😥 (thats how i heard abt enhypen actually, my friend was like "OMGG u share a bday wirh my bias!!!!")

what’s your favorite color? pink <33 it makes me so happy

what’s your lucky number? 8!!! like my bday date :')

do you have any pets? no :(( want a kitty real bad though

how tall are you? skipping. no comment. next question.

how many pairs of shoes do you have? like THREE and i rotate between two ♥️

favorite song? kpop?? um rn fever by enhypen or ghosting.. non kpop would be amoeba by clairo (shits GOOD plz go listen to it)

favorite movie? not the biggest fan of movies, but im suuper into slasher films/horror!!! so maybe smthng from there??

what would your ideal partner be like? jungwon ♥️ LMAO

do you want children? nope!! love kids but parenting doesnt sound like smthng id want to do unfortunately

have you gotten in trouble with the law? not that i know od?? Dont tell anyone

bath or shower? shower.. i dont thinj ive ever taken a legitimate bath b4, always showered

what color socks are you wearing? soz to say this but socks suck!! also irs 11pm and im in bed BUT THAT STILL STANDS

favorite type of music? like genre?? no clue, but i typically like music that reminds me romantic pining (aka, fever ♥️ or around you by hyunjin)

how many pillows do you sleep with? pillows are four!!! plushies,?? infinite bitch!!

what position do you sleep in? curled up on my side hugging smthng hehe

what you don’t like when you’re sleeping? yk that sleep where like,, ure sleeping... but u feel awake the whole time?? and rhen u wake up fuckin groggy like uve just been lying there.. that.

what do you have for breakfast? no breakfast!!! 2 cool 4 that. also i wake up at like uhh 11am-3pm sometimes

have you ever tried archery? NO!! sharp objections should not be in my possession apparenrly. tch 😒

favorite fruit? strawberries? mangoes?? anything fresh

favorite swear word? no favs, jm too indecisive for that :((

do you have any scars? yea, i dont have a cool story for them though.. i was just a scab picker kid lol

are you a good liar? SHITTY. horrible, the worst. i cant lie dor shit nd it gets me all shcoked everytime someone is like "mai ure LITERALLY so bad at this" during a lying game lol

what’s your personality type? istp-t!! same as huening whoooo 🎉🎉

what’s your favorite type of girl? mean girls...... i jusy like mean ppl in general but mean gurls have a special space in my heart ♥️!! theyre so demonized but as long as theyre not acrually complete assholes (like homophobes, bigots yk?) they r everythint 2 me

innie or outtie? gots an innie :]

left or right handed? right

favorite food? no favs again!!! but SPICY FOOD YUMM

favorite foreign food? probs uhh Bún bò Huế!!! im viet so idk if that counts as "foreign" but omgg ITS SO GOOD

are you clean or messy? messy!! i feel like everythings much more comfy and natural.. not like too messy though

most used phrase? BARK BARK (not proud of this one guys)

how long does it take you to get ready? like 40-60mins... ONLY BC i zone out tthough and forgot im meant to be gettinf ready LOL

do you talk to yourself? Yes. i do <3 thats also why i read&write fanfictions

do you sing to yourself? mhm!!! esp when the songs too good i sing along or throughout the day

are you a good singer? actually, literally not sure at all. i took chorus since like elementary school tho if that helps

biggest fear? heights and commitment ♥️

are you a gossip? what does this mean. but i think?? i like heaeinf gossip but im not tonna get outta my way to talk abt it ?

do you like long or short hair? on myself short!!! but guys&girls nd just everyone in general look so damn good with long hair sometimes

favorite school subject? none lol <33!! school sucks this question pains me every time i see it on back2school answer sheets

introvert or extrovert? introvert, im a lil hermit all cooped up inside my room all the tim3 ://

what makes you nervous? ppl i like are cool!!! or like ppl in general, i cant even order my boba by myself dude

who was your first real crush? i THINK. it mightve been my bff from when i was in 5th grade.. idk if this counts bc i (THINK) but like...... i cried so fucking much when we stopped being friends. it felt like a breakup and im still not over it tbh (tmi?)

how fast can you run? not fast at all but i can JUMP

what color is your hair? black, still have virgin hair!!

do you like your own name? umm tbh no, but my screen name (mai) is my middle name anyways so i dont think that matters too much

what makes you angry? people who dont listen :( pisses me off but tbh i dont get angry often

do you want a boy or a girl as a child? NEITHER. if i had to pick maybe boy but NOOOOO

what are your strengths? ive been told im endearingly stupid (like twice by the same friend) and it stuck with me. like AWWW :(( U THINK IM ENDEARINGG??

what are your weaknesses? id say im too socially anxious, public speaking makes my hands shake and i cant speak so its real bad

what’s the color of your bedspread? like white with blue polka dots ^_^

what’s the color of your room? this nice beige color,, like the color of my blog rn actually!!!! i based it off of jungwons color scheme but ig this works too

[kuronekonerochan]

Very messy thoughts about a very messy kdrama: Melting Me Softly

Overall:

I loved the premise...it looked like the kind of ridiculous over the top kdrama that could make for an interesting entertaining watch...unfortunately it is just badly executed. It doesn't know what it wants to be. The action syfy part is confusing, there is no emotional weigh over the tragedy of losing 20 years of life on the part of the Male Lead, although we feel it with the FL(who, by the way, is the only good part of the drama as far as acting goes, despite having little to work with), and even the jokes don't land because the supposed funny side characters are either too annoying and terrible people or they are too pathetic and I pity them instead of finding any of it funny (like the scenes with his family).

Melting me softly is a mess. Honestly with only just how all over the place the pilot was most ppl would have drop it then, but ji chang wook is soooo pretty and it's his comeback after military, still.... lord, is the drama bad. 

The syfy element is a mess, the characters are all shallow and unlikable in the few scenes we had with them so far (except the FL who seems nice enough but hasn't had that much to do yet).

The Characters:

 JCW is surprisingly unlikable for me and it's not even that he's the cliche jerk. Surprisingly it’s even worse because he’s just boring as a character. He’s not nice, but he doesn’t go out of his way to be cruel so that he can be redeemable later.

Nope, he’s just arrogant and entitled and he interacts with everyone mostly by casting judgmental side eye and being kind of uninterested in anyone else. Not in a charming megalo centric  way (like the Lead from What’s Wrong With Secretary Kim, who was a good person despite his ego), but in a dismissive everyday style that makes him all the more unlikable. What’s worse is that it’s even more evident with his family, who are problematic and a bit clingly and “golddigging/leaching” but still they seem to like each other enough in their own weird way. The lead though, treats his family coldly, like a disgusted spectator and it’s hard to watch. There is no chemistry between him and the rest of the cast because the character treats everyone like they’re not worthy of his respect.

That scene where the leads meet and she’s upset over losing 20 years of her life? -  I automatically went: *eyeroll Ugh, Men... It's not all about you everytime. You convinced her, effed up her life, own it and stop making excuses! The right thing to do is apologize and shut the f up!

The side characters, as I said are all either pathetic or terrible people, with the exception of the female lead’s family, who seem to be in a different, better acted drama. The shift in tone is jarring.

The Plot:

The plot is a complete mess and the main conflict so far is stupid. His producing team (that ended up convincing his gf) decided to hush things up in the past because outrage, audience ratings, yada yada and that's it! Yet it’s super confusing bc it seems like they are hiding what they did from him and scheming behind his back, while at the same time it's obvious he knows they threw him under the bus back them, so where’s the conflict? Also it's petty and the real villains involved with the cryoproject and the attack on the scientist are still just a vague concept that the drama clearly wont go into anytime soon, so it all seems like filler. 

To top it all, last episode's cliffhanger is about their previous romantic interests (who are now in their 40s) reconnecting when one of them is married and the other cover up the ML's disappearance, so it's all just more annoying filler I have no interest in watching...

The production design/ technical aspects:

The technical aspects are also bad, especially the editing...scenes are chopped off and put together and seem cut short or pointless. Time is also weird, they mix office scenes with home scenes from ML and random FL scenes without parallels and it's impossible to make out when the days start and end. It's been a while since I saw such messy execution from the production. Usually it's stuff like plot or characters or acting that bothers me, at most camera work, but here it really is the production as a whole. 

What I meant by parallels is that when you are starting to tell a narrative with two leads from their separate povs before they are onscreen together, there's usually an editing order:

Both leads wake up, both leads wander away. Ok so far. Both leads reconnect with family. Scene of FL at home with family followed by scene with ML with family. New day starts. Day 1: looking for answers: contacting the police, talking to the last ppl involved in the experience, etc. Sequencial scenes showing how each go about finding answers in their own way (the method helps to start establishing character and  personality differences between the leads). ML does that, but for some reason the FL doesn't?  (Maybe here a nightime scene each with the family to further develop feelings/angst and exposition of changes in family dinamics and events that happened while they were gone.) Next is trying to get back the life they left behind. Again, sequencial scenes of his workplace and in this case her university.

And with that we get the feeling a few days have passed and they went around on their parallel journeys. But here it's all jumbled and mashed together. He keeps talking to the people from his network in random chopped talks where it feels like he doesn't ask everything logically just so the drama can have another different scene with them later, he is home, his family is a mess but that isn't even edited in contrast to the scenes of her family for juxtaposition...and he seems to have more scenes than her and hers fall randomly out of nowhere and without logic. After being discharged from the hospital and talking to her family, why wouldn't her first reaction be trying to find him and ask what the hell happened? Instead she goes around, even returns to college before going to him?  The drama and the leads seem to walk around in circles without purpose. The transitions are also lowsy...usually all the driving in kdramas is too much but here it is lacking. The ML jumping around from the hospital, to the network, to the (most baffling) secret patient room where the scientist is without us knowing how he got there is distracting. Besides, those small driving scenes are important for character interaction and development: either with phone calls that allow us to see a more intimate side of the characters, how he takes things when nobody is watching, or with another person in the car communicating, or even just silent rides with body language and expression giving us a glimpse of their state of mind....  without any of this, by just appearing in places and doing things, the characters seem shallow and incomplete.

Minor complaints: 

They made the choice to make the 2nd Female lead kind of bitchy, greedy and backstabbing by having her agree to the cover up and her decision of not telling him immediately  what she had done now and apologize (when her younger self seemed much sweeter than that). I feel like the drama has barely begun and they already did her dirty by choosing to go that way with her character after her introduction on the pilot. Also, typecast of the actress playing her older self... she always plays a bitch (she's very good at it but I wanted to see her on a softer role). I wouldn’t mind  if this were a noona romance, since so far the leads have zero chemistry together. To be fair, there wasn’t any with the 2nd female lead, or JCW and any other character in a non romatic way either, in fact, except for the kid niece who actually seems to get a genuine reaction out of him.

 Plus we know from K2 that JCW and noonas have better chemistry ;)

At least I wish they had given her a better arc, for example, the girlfriend who was left behind, because of how it went down, never got over her love for him. They could have a romantic interest for her who she met after the lead was frozen, and the two had become very close over the years but she couldn't move on... they could give her closure so she'd finally realize in her heart how she felt about her own romantic interest without it being clouded with guilt and unresolved feelings for the lead. 

@kdramaxoxo

[she-is-tim]

Neighbours AU Part 8  Apart

Lucas is a young, exhausted musician who just tries to relax, while Eliott is the overexcited, dubstep loving artist who lives next door.

Aka Lucas confronts his annoying neighbour who turns out to be gorgeous

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Saturday 16:49

Lucas was sitting on the couch, his eyes were still red because of all the crying. He just couldn’t stop thinking of Eliott, though, wearing the hoodie he left there wasn’t really helping about that either. It still smelled like him and Lucas just needed that comfort. The piece of clothing was way too big for him, but that was the reason why it was just nice to wear it. It was like a warm hug that had the smell of Eliott’s cologne. 

His mind was filled with memories of his boyfriend... well, probably ex-boyfriend by now. It was painful to even think that little “ex” to it. He didn’t wanted to let him go, he wanted to believe that their relationship was real. It couldn’t just be Eliott’s obsession. 

He looked at the coffee table, it was a big mess, just like Eliott. His laptop was in the middle, surrounded by sketchbooks, brushes, paint tubes, pencils, special pens and everything art related. Then there was the coffee mug he got for Eliott, it was light grey with a cute raccoon on it that was hugging a heart. His boyfriend was out of this world when he came home from work with the gift. Right after that he made a drawing for Lucas, just to thank him the gift. It was a two piece actually. On the first drawing there was a sad hedgehog, sitting on a couch, but the other one was a raccoon and a hedgehog sitting on the couch together, surrounded by cute little hearts. Lucas framed the second drawing and put it on the top of the piano. It was still there, burning holes into Lucas, but he couldn’t make himself to look at it. 

He instead got up, walking to the kitchen like a zombie, making himself a coffee and slowly drinking it, while avoiding to look at the living room. So many memories were in the air. They spent so much time here together, it was painful not having Eliott by his side. Hearing his laugh, seeing his charming smile, feeling his soft touches, kissing his lips. 

Tears were rolling down his cheeks before Lucas even noticed it, dropping from his chin into the mug in his hand. His body was shaking, he barely could see and grabbed the kitchen counter with his free hand, trying not to spill the coffee that was in his other. He was whispering Eliott’s name over and over and over. He wanted it to just fade away, but it didn’t. His heart kept hurting more and more. 

Sunday 15:23

Eliott was laying in bed, under the blanket from head to toe. His eyes were hurting from all the crying, his lungs were still burning, making his harder to breathe. There were paperbags next to the bed on the nightstand, also a glass of water, some pills he refused to take and a sandwich from this morning. He couldn’t eat, since he felt like his stomach is smaller than a walnut. 

Flashes of Lucas tried to crawl their way up in his brain, he struggled to hold them back, but they kept coming. It was just painful. He hurt the only person he loved more than anything. Yes, he loved Lucas for sure. That week they spent together was just everything to him. 

They were sitting in Lucas’ living room, cuddling on the couch, well Lucas was leaning on Eliott tiredly, he just came home from work an hour ago. All he wanted is to sleep and be next to his boyfriend, but Eliott had to finish a project that was due to tomorrow noon. He was holding a digital drawing tablet, he barely used it, since he liked to draw on paper, but this thing had to made digitally. He focused on the lines, the small details, but being this close to Lucas, smelling him, feeling the warmth of his body was kinda distracting. 

He kept looking over to see his face. His eyes were closed, he was breathing slowly, probably was sleeping already. one of his hands were grabbing Eliott’s hoodie, while the other rested on Lucas’ stomach. He looked adorable, as he opened his mouth just a little. Eliott wanted to kiss him so badly, but he needed to work. 

He took a deep breath, giving a kiss on Lucas’ forehead and then going back to his project. He was working for hours, not noticing how the time was passing. He jerked his head to his side when he felt Lucas moving, letting out a yawn, stretching his body. It required a lot of strength from Eliott to not jump on this beautiful boy and kiss him until one of them passes out. A smile appeared on his face, his eyes were basically shooting hearts at his boyfriend.

Lucas slowly opened his eyes, looking at Eliott under his long, beautiful eyelashes. He smiled softly and wrapped his arms lazily around his boyfriend’s neck, which made Eliott’s heart skip a beat. He put down his tablet on the coffee table, grabbing Lucas’ waist. 

“You slept well?” he asked softly, leaning forward a little. Lucas did the same until their foreheads touched, looking into each others eyes. 

“I hope I didn’t cause any trouble.” he mumbled with a lazy smile. 

“Not at all... well, it was hard to focus on work with you next to me, but I managed to finish the project.” he said softly, putting a hand on Lucas’ face, caressing his cheek with his thumb. “I will do the colouring tomorrow morning.” 

“Wise decision, cause right now your hands will be occupied.” Lucas said with a playful smirk, winking at his handsome boyfriend. Eliott chuckled, pushing Lucas down on the couch, leaning above him.

“Oh really?” he asked, leaning so close their nose touched. He could feel Lucas’ breath on his face, his big, blue eyes were filled with desire and passion. He was so lost in this boy.

“Yes, of course.” Lucas mumbled, sliding his fingers into Eliott’s messy hair. “Your hands are going to be busy touching me.” he said, pulling Eliott’s head down for a slow, passionate kiss. 

Eliott shook his head, he wanted to scream, but his throat was so dry, it was basically the desert itself. He should be drinking some water, but he just couldn’t move from under the blanket, it was his safe place where he could still remember Lucas and imagine that they are still together. 

Monday 17:46

Lucas came home from work, he barely had the strength to leave the house, but he had to. Money isn’t coming from itself. Although he called in sick for the orchestra practices for this week. He haven’t touched his piano since friday, and he didn’t even wanted to. Everytime he just looked at the instrument, he remembered how Eliott looked at him when he played, how he was sitting next to him on the bench, or drawing on the couch, giggling. 

He dropped his keys on the kitchen counter and went straight to his room, falling on the bed like a bag of potatoes. He felt so empty inside, like someone ripped out his soul. He was thinking about Eliott all the time, he wanted to reach out, text him, but he wasn’t even sure if he would check his phone or answer him. And he also didn’t know what to say. He didn’t care about Eliott’s illness, that doesn’t make him less of a person. But he also remembered how he couldn’t do shit for his mom, even when he tried to and it made him feel bad. He wanted to do something for Eliott, he wanted to give everything into this, because for him Eliott meant everything. 

He stared at his phone for an hour, fingers dancing over the screen, but couldn’t type anything. He opened the chat between him and Eliott. They weren’t talking much in texts, since they were mostly together, but when Lucas was working or at the practice, they kept texting each other. 

To Eliott I’m almost done, can’t wait to get home to you

From Eliott Want me to prepare dinner? ;P 

To Eliott GOD no! I am planning to stay alive for more than just 19 years, thank you very much

From Eliott You are seriously hurting my feelings right now, Lucas

To Eliott I’m your boyfriend, I’m supposed to be honest with you

Lucas stopped reading at this part and just threw his phone to the other side of the bed. Honest. Lucas still didn’t understand why Eliott couldn’t talk to him about his illness. He would have understand it. He gave no reason for his boyfriend to doubt in his feelings, right? He was always open and showing his love towards him. 

He turned around, facing the ceiling now, trying to push back the memories he shared with Eliott. Both of them seemed happy during that week, He just couldn’t understand how everything went shit so quickly. 

He sat up, pulling his laptop on his lap, opening google. He searched for information about mental illnesses. He was aware that Eliott had a panic attack at the pub, but he didn’t know what kind of illness he had exactly. The websites mostly said anxiety, because he paniced in a crowded place. He tried to read up on things, putting pieces together, trying to understand the situation more. He wanted to learn how to approarch people like that before actually reaching out to Eliott, because he WILL reach out. 

Wednesday 13:12

Eliott was sitting on the couch, he was at Lucille’s place still, her apartment was much more clean and organized than his. He actually didn’t like it, but he also couldn’t go home. If he goes home he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from going to the flat next door. He can’t meet Lucas, not after what he did to him. He deserved better than a sick boyfriend. 

He slowly drank his coffee, chewing on the sandwiches Lucille made this morning for him. Sometimes he wasn’t hungry at all, sometimes he had the sudden urge to eat. He got pale, dark circles around his eyes, his veins popping out on his arm. He was slowly feeling better day by day, but it was a long time ago since he had such a bad period. Lucille convinced him that he had to take his meds in order to get well. She wasn’t lying, Eliott knew that, but he just hated the fact that he had to live on pills forever, because his illness won’t be going away. 

When he finished eating and drinking his coffee, he walked to the kitchen, putting the mug and the plate in the sink. He then noticed his phone on the counter. He haven’t seen it since he lost it on friday. Lucille probably found it when she came to take Eliott home. The screen protector had a crack right in the middle, but otherwise it looked fine. He grabbed it, but it was out of battery. Lucille probably didn’t take the effort to charge it since friday.

He walked to the bedroom, luckily Lucille had the same phone type as him, so he grabbed her charger and sat in the armchair that was close to the plug on the wall. putting his phone on charge now. It took some time until he could turn it on.

He unlocked it, looking through his messages and his heart skipped a beat when he saw that he got texts from Lucas. He quickly opened them and felt guilt, because they were from yesterday. Lucas probably thinks that Eliott didn’t even care to check the messages he sent. 

From Lucas I wasn’t sure what to say, I’m not even sure what happened on friday. I had a lot of time to think, and you can be sure that you were the only thing in my mind. I was going crazy... The way I feel with you is something I never felt before. You made me happy with such little things. I just can’t put my feelings into words, because it’s impossible. There are no words for how I feel for you. I am not gonna lie, you scared me on friday, but I am not scared of your illness, I was scared that you are not okay, that you were hurt. Then Lucille came and shit went down. I left, because I felt like I couldn’t help you, I’m not sure that you would be in the right hands with me, but I really wanna take the risk Just text me if you made a decision.

Eliott couldn’t hold back his tears now, they were dripping down from his jaw to the cracked screen. His hands were shaking, he couldn’t see properly, so he had to wait with the answer. He wanted to see Lucas, hug him, kiss him, tell him that he wanna do this too. 

To Lucas Be there in 20 minutes

He got up, putting his phone on the armchair, letting it to charge a bit more and started to get himself ready. He couldn’t meet Lucas looking like a 100 year old vampire. 

________________________________________________________________

Writers note: I bet ya didn’t see this coming, huh? I just got an inspiration and some free time, so I wrote this chapter. Enjoy and feel free to leave a comment, either here or in my inbox! Love y’all!

[c-rankin93]

SHE'S NO YOU - Ch.2

Word count: 3100+

A/N: keep in mind in know that in 2016, the 6th of Dec wasn’t a Saturday. But ignore that like I have haha! & also this was originally 2 different chapters, but I combined them & I might do that with a few more so there isn’t so many chapters.

I’m glad that people have liked the first chapter. The drama hasn’t even started Unfolding yet! ✔✔❤❤

As usual: oversee the grammar and spelling mistakes I make. I’m not the best editor 🖕

– CHAPTER TWO: BIRTHDAY BLUES –

RAE POV:

Before I knew it Monday came around, and to say that I was excited to see my babies was an understatement. It had been two miserable days of not seeing their darling faces creating havoc around the house. I missed cleaning up after them, snuggling with Ruby at night when she couldn’t sleep, cooking with Joshua when wanted to bake.

In those two days I moped around the house, cleaning spotless bench tops, re-washing all the linen in the cupboards, and having lunch with Greg on the Sunday before he went to Los Angeles to see his sister for a week.

Since the kids school was only a few blocks away I decided to forgo the taxi and pick them up by foot. I even considered stopping at a small ice cream bar to give the kids a treat. It may have been the middle of November but I didn’t mind a little ice cream here or there.

I replaced my black stilettos for some ankle boots but left my work attire on, only putting thick white peacoat and black scarf over top. I grabbed my handbag and keys from the kitchen bench before locking up.

It was a bonus that I got to work half my days at home instead of being cooped up in a stuffy office for hours on end. Being a senior architect and a boss meant I could mold my own hours and delegate my work load. My boss and owner of the company, Chloe was an incredible lady and not much older then me. When I started working for her straight after collage, her business was just starting off.

Being only 5 years my senior meant that she turned into one of my closest friends. She was there visiting me at the hospital when both my children were born, and one of the people holding me up when my marriage broke. Apart from her, and my best friend Izzy, she was the only other person I trusted that wasn’t family.

The walk to columbia grammar and preparatory school only took about 20 minutes or so, it was a nimble walk along the streets of the upper west side. Finn refused to send our children to any other place stating ‘it’s what’s best for our children’s education’ and I couldn’t agree more.

It was a private school full of privileged young youths, the tuition alone per year was more then buying a house. But when it came to their learning money wasn’t a problem. It was one of the places Finn’s company donated heavily too, he was also on the board of trustees and a former student.

I opened the door to ruby’s class room and gathered with the other parents in the corner as the teacher was talking to the students.

“Hey Rachel” whispered another mom to the left of me, she was a sweet women that wasn’t short of bedazzling herself with stunning diamonds.

“Hi Rebecca, how’s your day?” I replied with a hushed whispered and shuffled closer to her so I didn’t disturb the class.

“Oh you know same old, same old. Patrick begs me to stay at home and keep my feet up until miss Isabella makes her grand entrance, he’s like a broken record that man” she smiles rubbing her, very round tummy. I looked at the 40-something year old in amazement, her hair prim and proper, with wonderful designer clothing and a kind hearted smile upon her face. It was rare to meet genuine people in New York. It reminded me to set up a coffee date with her sometime soon.

“Listen to your husband Rebecca, Patrick’s right you should put your feet up more often. You won’t be able to do it when she comes along” I tutted and chuckled quietly at my authority.

“Yeah maybe but I’ll be so bored. I need to be doing something or I feel like I’m going crazy”.

“I know how you fe-”

I was interrupted by the feel of a tiny body constricting themselves around my legs in joy. Her little pony tail bouncing with her movement when Ruby began jumping lightly on the balls of her feet. A smile radiated my face, leaning down I wrapped an arm around Ruby’s back and cuddle my little girl close.

“I missed you too sweety” I whispered softly into her ear and returned to my stand position.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow Rebecca, I’ve got to get going to Josh’s classroom” I learned over a pecked her cheek in Farwell. “Bye brody” I patted her sons head as they both smiled and waved goodbye.

After collecting ruby’s bag and coat, we headed down the hall to Josh’s class. Her tiny hand secure in mine as we walked side by side through the busy corridor.

Josh was already waiting for us by the door as he talking to one of his teachers, Mr Holden.  He was a bubbly old man, who talked years of wisdom. Josh was fond of the old guy, admired him almost. He made sure Josh kept his grades impeccable and in exchange he would tell Josh all about his time teaching in France, Ireland and Australia.

“Hi mom” beamed my little man, then said a quick goodbye to the teacher who waved at me.

“How was dad’s house?” I was a bit sceptical on how the weekend went after ruby’s little breakdown.

“Awesome!” He beamed. “We had so much fun! Dad took us out for tea, went to the park and even the zoo mom. The ZOO!”.

“It would of been better if you were there” I could barely hear the whisper that was muttered by Ruby. My heart broke again after hearing her soft words. I knew they weren’t meant for my ears, so I decided not to speak up.

We headed towards the little ice cream bar that was situated between our house and the school. Even with New Yorks chilly temperature the place was still bursting with people. It took us 20 minutes for us to place our order (Ruby with a scoop of vanilla bean and sprinkles, Josh with a scoop of raspberry swirl and I deciding on a scoop of cookies and cream). We chose to eat and walk, the kids talking about the rest of the weekend and school today and I filling them in on my lonely adventures without them.

By the time we arrived home our bellies were full and the cold finally getting to us, Ruby snuggled closer into my leg as I fished into my bag to retrieve the keys.

The rest of the night was full of laughter and a light tea before both the kids and I curled up in my king size bed and dozed off.

-

The rest of the month flew by fast and before I knew it, it was already the 5th of December. Finns mood stayed placid but he didn’t speak to me or step foot into my house after I kicked him out. He’s grumpiness was obvious on his face, but I was glad the smart ass kept his usual comments to himself.

Greg had popped over several times after work when he came back from his sisters house. He only stayed one of those nights, to which I was grateful for. Our relationship sometimes felt more like a friendship and I was comfortable with that. I wasn’t ready to give my heart to someone else after a messy divorce.

If i was being honest, I wasn’t completely over my ex-husband. I probably never will be. He swept me off my feet when I was only 18, I was new to college life and Izzy convinced me that our first week should be spent drinking until our livers gave out. I being the pushover I am agreed and somehow we found ourself at a prat party.

Finn approach me and asked me to dance, and I being a typical freshman fell for his charms and instantly in love. It was just my luck that he reciprocated my feelings and for the next 12 years out life was bliss. Until it wasn’t, until he broke my heart in the worst possible way.

Joshua’s 8th birthday was tomorrow and it was my turn to have him. I hadn’t planned anything big, but I couldn’t wait to surprise him with a visit to the Rockefeller centre to go ice skating, then to travel to my parents house over in New Jersey for a family tea. He wasn’t a fussy child and the simple things in life is what made him happy. I’m glad that even though he grew up around money he doesn’t demand to be spoilt.

I was lucky to have both humble and nurtured children. Money buys power, to which their father had Alot of, and still with the world at their feet they would rather have a simple gift then an extravagant one. I guess they inherited my way of thinking, I had always told them money can’t buy love.

-

By 7am the next morning the house was alive, the birthday boy had made sure of that. His excitement for the days events were contagious and I couldn’t help by smile everytime his eyes lit up after opening one of his presents.

Blueberry waffles were still steaming hot on the counter top as I prepared the cream and chocolate sauce. It was a breakfast I disapproved of, but today was Josh’s day and he had practically begged for days on end for them. Who was I to say no? How could I even say no?

Just as I was about to call the kids to the dinning room table the door bell chimed. I looked at my watch seeing it was only 8.14am.

'Who on earth could that be?’ I thought to myself as I dusted off my hands and made my way to the door. My Mom and Step-Dad knew we were coming to their house today, same with my older brother Robert.

Izzy surely wouldn’t be out of bed this early on a Saturday morning, plus she was at a franchise meeting in LA to both her and the kids dismay. They loved their aunty Iz, who had a habit of feeding their bellies full of white chocolate muffins. Also, Chloe was meeting us at the ice skating rink with her two bubbly children. So we weren’t expecting company.

Shocked couldn’t even describe my emotion when I opened that door to see my ex-husband and his new hussy standing there on the door step.

His impeccable dark blue wash suit was tailored to perfection as aways, hair greased back leaving it slightly wet, which could also be said about my panties.

Olivia looked stunning as always, and it made me sick. Her newly short platinum blonde hair was styled into a quirky quiff, her slim figure dressed in a perfect two toned grey and white stripped knitted dress that stopped just before her knees. She added black boots, a grey coat and a beautiful necklace hung around her neck.

I internally groaned when I assessed my own attire of, black leggings I pulled from my draw and a old, baggy OASIS top which I stole off Finn in my junior year at college. It was stretched beyond belief because of the two pregnancies I endured and the neck line kept slipping off my shoulder. No doubt my hair was still a tangled mess on top of my head, actually I was a mess from head to toe and they were the perfect couple. But just to add insult to injury, I remember that I didn’t even bother to put on a bra this morning. Great, just great.

“What are you doing here?” I tried my hardest to cover up as much of my top as I could, I didn’t want to look like a desperate ex-wife still mourning the loss of her husband. But the look in his eye told me he had already noticed what top I decided to wear.

“I came to see my son on his birthday Rae. Is that alright with you?” I rolled my eyes and ignored Olivia’s snickering. I stood to the side and allowed them both to come in, as much as I wanted to slam the door in their faces I knew that Josh would want to see his dad.

The kids where currently in Josh’s room playing the Xbox game I got him, so I excused myself to notify them that their dad was here to see them.

The moment their little eyes connected with their fathers they came running down the stairs and engulfed Finn in a giant hug nearly knocking him to the ground.

Josh started talking a mile a minute explaining to Finn all the exciting things that he had gotten already. I could see Finn smile as he watched his son, causing a small ache with on my heart. These moments are the ones I missed, when we would spend time as a family.

I knew that Finn had already given Josh his present when they had seen him after school on Thursday so I was a little shocked to see him pull two small gift box’s from his coat and hand them to both the kids. I didn’t stick around to see the cute expressions they made when they opened them, it still hurt to much.

“Dad, mom cooked our favourite breakfast today! And made home made chocolate sauce” Josh spoke excitedly, “dad, are you staying for breakfast? Please, please say you are!”

Finn, Josh and Ruby looked to me expectedly as I stood awkwardly in the kitchen. I nodded my head silently and listened to the kids cheer.

“But finny, we have a plane to catch” Olivia whined. It was the first thing she had said since she arrived, and I wished she had just kept her mouth shut.

“Liv it’s a private plane! I’ll just ring the airport and delay it by an hour” Finn spoke softly, but I couldn’t help but pick up on his cool tone. Olivia continued to whine like a 3 year old about keeping to a schedule and I didn’t have time to listen. I just continued to busy myself with setting the table.

They all gathered around my mahogany 6 seater table in the dinning room. Finn and Olivia sat together on one side, and the kids, and I sat on the other. Never had I felt this awkward in my own home, between Olivia scrunching her nose up the waffles, and the kids in a in-depth conversation with Finn, I just felt alone. This wasn’t the family breakfasts I dreamt of when I was a teen. Silently, I sat there nibbling on a few bits of freshly cut fruit. Wishing I could disappear.

“Mommy?” Ruby whispered, disconnecting me from my thoughts and bringing me back to reality, not realising I zoned out.

“Yeah baby” I cooed stroking her soft light brown hair smiling.

“Why is Olivia here?” I turned to my daughter and leaned closer to her.

“Ugh- well sweety. She is your daddy’s girlfriend and she wants to see you guys. It’s Josh’s birthday and he’s extremely happy having them here. Why do you ask?”.

“She doesn’t like us very much” Ruby muttered, “she always says we get in the way”.

I focused on my breathing, reminding myself that today was Josh’s day and I couldn’t ruin it by jumping over the table and strangling the bitch to death.

“Like I said sweetie your going to have to talk to your dad about that”.

“Talk to me about what?” We swung our heads towards Finn not realising that our conversation was being heard. I felt ruby’s small hands latch onto mine in a death grip.

“Well… Umm… I think it’s something you and Ruby should talk about that- in private” I explained sending a small smile to Ruby.

“And why is that?” Olivia butted in. I could see the annoyance etched on her face.

“Because it’s a private matter between him and his daughter that’s why” I narrowed my eyes on the witch, but kept my voice light. She had no right to butt in on this conversation.

“Oh please save me the sob story. You just want to spin lies to my Finn don’t you!” Olivia spat. Her words echo in my head over and over again. Her Finn. I felt my heart break all over again.

“I would never, ever do that! You have no ri-”.

“Enough!” Finn bellowed, his face tinted red in anger.

“Olivia, I’ll meet you in the car” Finn hissed, ignoring her complaints. She huffed and stormed off; slamming the front door behind her.

“Kids do you think I can talk to your mom for a minute?” They both nodded and went back up into room after I kissed them on their heads.

“What exactly was that about Rae!” I cringed at his toned. He leant over the table, his eyes boaring into mine. I looked away deciding the left over fruit on my plate looked particularly interesting.

“I think you need to speak with Ruby, Finn. I’ve told her too, but she is too scared” I sighed, “and that is what I tried to explain to your girlfriend”.

“I’ll deal with Olivia later Rae, don’t bring her up”.

“Why did you have to bring her here! To my house! I understand you wanting to see Josh but you know how we feel about each other. And you still-” Finn abruptly got up from his chair and walked around the table until he was standing right next to me. Yanking me by my arm lightly, Finn dragged me to my feet.

“You left me remember! You packed your shit and left with my fucking kids in the middle of my business trip. So don’t you dare go there!” He hissed causing me to flinch back.

“You were so heart broken that you moved Olivia in 6 months later” I scoffed, “you know what just leave please. This is Josh’s day! And I don’t want it ruined by a silly little argument. So please just go say goodbye and hop on that plane of yours and go… your good at that” I barely whispered the last words before I fled.

Out of all the deceitful things Finn had done to me in the 2 years since our divorce, this took the cake. I could deal with his hateful words, but for him to bring her into my home… That was unacceptable. To let her talk to me like that in front of our children. I was done.

There was no use hiding my tears in the bathroom I barricaded myself in. I needed to get this pitty party over with, because today wasn’t the day for a mental break down.

'Why wasn’t I good enough Finn?’

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@mmfdfanfic @lily-pop-2 @eveerez @i-dream-of-emus @I88cym - Im sorry I tried everything to try and tag you but it won’t work.

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