#and it's also interesting bc i feel like being on tumblr n reading queer history posts here has prepared me a lot for the discussions

[hua-fei-hua]

yesterday in queer history class, the powerpoint mentioned this book called "the feminine mystique" that was published in like the 60s/70s that helped kick off second wave feminism or smth, and how it got a lot of criticism for focusing on the #struggles middle-class white suburban house wife, and as we all briefly talked about how unrelatable that was to literally all of us in that room, i jokingly said, "yeah, some of us have better things to do than watch star trek all day!"

and the professor looked at me, and he said, "are you dissing star trek??"

i looked straight at this man, put a hand over my heart, and said, "i would NEVER. disrespect. the pREMISE. of star trek."

and he gave me this kind of knowing look as he said, "good, because i like star trek."

[livs-in-space]

studyblr intro !?

hello beautiful people! i started this blog a couple of months ago just so i could get the *feel* for being on tumblr but i think this blog is finally ready to evolve into its true form--a studyblr!!! classes start in september for me so i figured i could get ahead of the game and post this! i am so excited to share my content with you guys and i cant wait to see yours!

a little bit about me (bcs it’s a far scroll for that first post lmao)

im liv!!

im a ravenclaw and an infj-t and a taurus

im 17 and living in the usa! (class of 2020 wOO)

im going into my senior year of high school 

im a bisexual! (power to all my fellow queers ily)

i like using exclamation points (if u cant tell by now)

interests:

i love reading !!!!!!! like lOVE it book recommendations are ALWAYS helpful

im an avid music lover and musician and am always looking for new recommendations!!!! some bands i love are: fob, the 1975, twenty one pilots, peach pit, mgmt, coin, dodie, taylor swift, troye sivan, etc etc

i am a musician in all the ways at my school--i do voulenteer work at band shows, i am in all of the school musicals, i play my violin in both chamber and regular orchestra, and i recently picked up the cello last year! (the cello might be short-lived though its like wrestling a bear)

i am a hUGE museum person like i will go all the time and beg people to come with me art makes me SO happy

some academia stuffs:

here are some of the classes ive already taken (h-honors ap-advanced placement):

algebra 1 h, geometry h, algebra 2 h, precalc h 

english 1 h, 2 h, ap lang

biology h, chem h, physics h 

ap world history, apush, ap government and politics

advanced orchestra / chamber ensembles for 3 years now, and music theory 1 (essentially this is half a semester of college theory 1)

ive been taking german as a second language for almost 5 years now! i also know portuguese (both brazilian and iberian lmao)

classes im taking THIS year:

orchestra / chamber ensemble (again lmao)

ap lit

ap bio

organic chem h

ap calc bc

ap german 5

goals!

i want to be an astrobiologist (hence the url) and im hoping to enter uni as a biochemistry major or an astrophysics major !! let's hope it all goes according to plan !

im trying to be more organized with my schoolwork and cut down on the amount of time i spend scrolling through the interwebs. although it might seem counterproductive to start a studyblr i feel like if i filter school content through this blog i might get more inspired to do my work instead of becoming an internet vegetable

what i’ll post

original content and reblogs!!!!!!!!

ill mostly post pictures of notes n my desk because i feel pretty confident about my notetaking skills aha

maybe i’ll do 100 days of productivity ? whooo knowwws

im not really interested in making my own brand, although i fully support those in this community that do ! if i feel i have ample advice to share i will definitely do that but for now i think ill stick to what i know ;)

why studyblr?

this community is one i can really get behind. i love how all the content is different and beautiful and overwhelmingly hELPFUL and im so so excited to be apart of it!! i also feel i can learn so much from running my own blog and being in the community yaknow! my asks will ALWAYS be open !

studyblrs/blogs that inspire me!

there’s waAAY too many to count but here are just some!!

@diaryofastemstudent @studyblr @studyquill @stillstudies @studylustre @emmastudies @eintsein @einstetic @warmhealer

thanks everyone!! i cant wait to see what comes next :D

[warmbeebosoftbeebo]

I’m dehydrated and you’re one of my faves. Where did ya go?!

been here, falling hopelessly behind on posts, both my own n others. i did just do a bden’s booty post with brallon, vices era that’s quite…uh…educational. yeah, educational.

i’ve been reading on orgasm gap research between het women, bi women, lesbians, gay men, bi men, straight men too. you know something is profoundly wrong with our (cultural) definition of sex when researchers and laypeople can say straights have more sex than lesbians, who supposedly have the least, but straight women only average 7 orgasms a *month* while lesbians average 55 monthly, more than anyone else. *x-files music with gillian anderson quoting some piv & porn-critique*

i wondered something the other day: imagine if only people who really liked women and wanted to just show people having a great time sexually made sexual material? bc most porn is so clearly “women are trash/cum dumpsters/whores/cunts so let’s hurt and humilate them” i’m astonished most people can’t see it. (it’s amazing how common women’s faces are visibly distressed, in pain, etc, and this is either irrelevant or the whole damn point.)

i’ve also had so many dirty thoughts about b i can’t even… like outercourse/tribadism/frottage are criminally underrated–been thinking lots lately about that with b (not that i don’t do that usually haha). am also working on a part two of bden’s tongue–that man’s so oral n his mouth generally is just… so sexy n ridiculous at the same time? how does he manage to get me thinking these filthy thoughts about his mouth on me, esp on my vulva, when being a complete goober with his lips and/or tongue? fucking houdini. (he’s my favouriteeee. precious lil boob) also, how is my life now in significant part “contemplating” him having a smaller than average dick. (bden has a small peepee ok peeps? on what planet does he have a bigger than average one? bc it ain’t earth.) god, i wanna touch that man’s dick, feel it in my hands n in my mouth n between my thighs n between my labia n on my clit n dsfkldfskl;dfskl;dsf

i’ve also been thinking of doing an imagine with a trans character, esp since it’s been requested a couple times, but was thinking of doing one with one who was starting to desist/recently desisted. i don’t consider myself a desister bc i never took steps to transition medically, and was never publicly socially out, due in large part to my environment (structural feminism, livejournal vs tumblr, my mom & her own history, knowing my brother had also been trans when younger than me for a few years and desisted, eg he used to steal my underwear n menstrual pads to wear them, wished he was female, wished there was a magic way to become one), but from 12-16 i was trans (intensely wished i was a gay man, contemplated medical transition sometimes, had a vivid fantasy life of being a gay man, wrote about being a gay man, i still to this damn day get dysphoric/anxious/panicked/distressed at the idea of wearing a dress or skirt in spite of my trying to rationalize it away, etc). given tumblr, being born later in the age of lupron for preadolescents n medically transitioning adolescents, no radical and other structural feminism (eg shere hite, kate millett, audre lorde, dworkin, alice walker) my life would’ve turned out very different. 

i would be super interested in talking with someone(s) who wanted to look at ideas around an imagine with bxreader with that, like struggling with seeing one’s body as female, having genitalia being called vulva/cunt/pussy/etc, wondering how to be seen as a person while being female during sex–i think a lot of what drives the fact that 70-80% of young trans are females who identify as male/nonbinary/etc, and what drove it in part for me, was rejection of porn culture/pornification/women being seen as holes for males, and not wanting to be treated like women in porn & mainstream culture (which is pretty much the current softcore porn and softcore virtually isn’t actually made anymore by pornographers) are treated, combined with how completely Barbified teen girls, 20something and 30something women in mainstream culture are, with a few rare exceptions for older women like Ellen (who are generally not seen as sexual but only funny, talented, etc). (asperger’s, anxiety & depression, eating disorders/disordered eating (anxiety n disordered eating also played a role for me), same sex attraction & lesbians being seen as boring and so last century at best, and evil oppressors at worst who are treated incredibly poorly by others, inc "the queer community" or being redefined out of existence are some other issues at play.) i’d love to hear from desisters and people contemplating desisting in particular, but others are welcome to chime in around these themes.

bden’s own history with “crossdressing” and the dress-up box (from about 6 on thru adulthood–he’s spoken repeatedly about wearing his mom’s clothes n heels n his sister’s cheerleader uniform, would wear his mom’s jeans all the time from 13 on, and even in fever era wore whole outfits from the women’s section), wrapping curtains around his waist to be a dress at 5, playing female roles in family plays, wanting to sound like female singers like gwen stefani, carly simon n beyonce n not like a man, etc could also be interesting to look at. b’s family being strict/traditional mormons kind of boggles my mind, bc they seemed to have left him to it, n he was (and still is) a big momma’s boy. like you can tell boyd loves his son but have you seen that man’s political views on twitter? omfg. i imagine he bit his tongue a lot around his youngest, and i wonder if b’s gender nonconformity played a role in b’s brothers coming to live with them (b, his 2 sisters, mom, dad) when he was 8. i bet grace (mom) stood up for him a lot, n that b was more feminine than his sisters (altho for sure there’d be a lot of shared interests with plays, the dress up box, n such).