#and it's a very very shallow reading of this story that insists that Kiryu's Fine and is just Good Effortlessly

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

Okay, I reaallly hope you don't mind me in your inbox again but, 1. Pleeease if you ever feel so inclined, do that Kiryu essay I love him so goddamn much, I would have a stroke just to read how much someone else loves Kiryu like I do, bc just that little bit of Tachibana about Kiryu killed me. And 2. Tell me about the ot3! Tell me about that room full of loving Kiryu! What are your headcanons, opinions! I read your fic, died again, and that is literally the only thing of them on ao3 ohhh my gosh

Oh, you are so so sweet, love. I appreciate <3 Sorry it’s taken me so long to respond, my schedule is a bit of a nightmare and work really wiped me out today. (Honestly contemplating quitting my second job, at least until the semester’s over. Can’t take my weekends being taken from me like this.)

But, here we go (sorry this will be a little lackluster and short compared to yesterday, blame the work exhaustion): 

1) The full Kiryu essay will take some doing. I may need to chop it into parts. Like, I’ve started it, and it’s already monstrous and I have just barely gotten TO the beginning of Zero. Because, you see, Kiryu’s a good person. And y’all may be going “Yeah, we know Lemon, so what?” and, no, no, I need you to think about it though. I know it’s very in vogue to hate on vanilla good guy characters here on tumblr, but I’m frankly sick of it personally. Being good is NOT a default, as so many would like to believe, it is a conscious choice that takes effort and sacrifice. 

Kiryu has lost... so fucking much. He’s lost every member of his family. He’s lost most of his mentors and friends. And Kiryu still gets up every morning, puts his goddamn clothes on, and is a nice person. He makes the choice, every goddamn day, to be nice to every new person he meets. Sure, he can be grumpy and standoffish, but if you ask him for something? He comes through, no matter who you are. You need help? He will get you some fucking help. The boy doesn’t know what to do with himself if he’s not helping others. No, seriously, think back on all of his choices, think back on his trajectory. Kiryu’s really treading water in 2 because he’s untethered, he has no family (other than Haruka) so he has no social role. He rejected being chairman (and BOY we do not have time for my thoughts on THAT) so he’s just kind of... stuck. He’s honestly kind of depressed and floundering, that’s why he makes that damn stupidass call at the end of 2, fuck, that’s why he gets stabbed, out in the open, at the edge of the Sotenbori River, in the city where you get your dead bodies kidnapped! (Okay that’s just a joke between me and my wife but look me in the eyes and tell me I’m wrong). 

Anyway, anyway, my point is... Kiryu’s entire self-worth is derived from what he can do for others. He doesn’t actually have a stable concept of self outside of service. That’s why his decisions get progressively worse and worse over the games as he loses, one way or another, all his personal ties. His relationships give him an anchor and his service to those relationships make him feel good about himself, make him feel worthy. What would losing every meaningful person in his life do to him I wonder? What would the guilt of all that loss do to him? 

I don’t have time to go into it all right now, but just... not to vague blog, but I’ve seen some opinions recently that Really ticked me off and I’ve Very Badly needed to talk about Kiryu’s role as the protagonist of this series, what his arc is and what he brings to the table. He is not some basic, unmotivated, archetypal stand in. Just because he doesn’t wear his grief on his sleeve or have as many visible trauma responses doesn’t mean they’re not there. Sorry to get a little bitchy about it, I just... 

You know why Majima’s in love with him? Blind, imprinted, soul deep love? Because Kiryu is a good fucking person. Because Kiryu has been through Some Shit and gets up the next day and does it again. Because he’s strong enough to do that. He’s strong enough to get up and try again. He’s strong enough to be nice out in the fucking open where his heart can get torn up all over again. If you’re Majima, you can’t conceive of being nice without dying, without the world swarming all over you and killing you. And the world FUCKING TRIES with Kiryu, he’s not still standing because no one fucking came at him. He lost his brother, his father, his sister in one night. He’s lost friend after friend, he’s felt responsible for death after death, just as surely as Majima does, and he gets up. Again.  And tries. Again. And is still nice, still kind, will lend a hand to anyone, and he dares the world to fucking come at him, one more time. 

Now you tell me that’s worthless. 

(Part 2 to be answered in a different ask, you’re not the only one interested ;) )