#and it's 2 in the morning so i guess i shouldn't do that . but theoretically itd only take me like 25 minutes spaghetti is easy to make

[saltedsolenoid]

that spaghetti was so fucking good what if i made more.

[snowmuttgetsweird]

7/29/24, witching hour

Eatin' dinner. Tried to approximate a sorta beef and broccoli thing with ground beef. Was too lazy to make the broccoli though so I basically just threw in the ground beef, seasoned it, browned it, added a couple handfuls of frozen green bellpepper and frozen onion (I buy them cheap and then chop 'em up and freeze them for future use), made a sauce out of worcestershire, soy sauce, a LOT of black pepper, red chili flake, and I think just a sprinkle of sugar, and then threw in like a handful of frozen green beans I've got a big already-open bag of in the freezer. Threw it together with some rice, lil furikake, lil sriracha, boom. Food. Tonight I also added some edamame beans to the mix.

Gym was enlightening. Turns out I struggle on a 3x8 set of lateral side raises with 10lb weights. My shoulders are shiiit. I'm told their development is heavily linked to your testosterone level. Well guess who had a rock-bottom testosterone level at his last physical? This guuuuuy. But that'll kinda get repaired as I keep up the weight lifting- at least that's the hope. Compound exercises, like squats especially, are great for boosting your testosterone. Just gotta keep lifting heavy and soon I'll be moving up to 15lb dumbbells like the big boys :D :D :D

No but really though I do hope my testosterone shoots up to normal levels by doing this. I've mentioned that I have like, very low sex drive and low interest in sex in general, and it's got me thinking I'm demi, but it could ALSO just be that I'm depressed and my hormones suck shit, but exercise helps with mental stuff and should theoretically fix my hormones. If it DOESN'T, well, I know that it's something else and I'm not JUST fat.

That's right folks, I'm NOT just working out to get huge or whatever- we're eliminating VARIABLES, BABY!

At least the way I figure, I can't afford therapy, or doctor visits, or medication, or anything like that, but maybe I can at least do this. At least I can say I'm doing as much as I can, making as much as an effort as I possibly can, to do right by myself by giving my brain the best foundation it can hope for to do what it's SUPPOSED to do- a functional, healthy body.

On that note I should get some metamucil. Regulating my digestion would probably help my body absorb nutrients way better.

Also side note I think I've perfected the dry to wet ratios on my overnight oats, but time will tell. I've been measuring my oats by weight to 40g but honestly I think being THAT specific is kinda cringe, so I just went for the full half-cup instead, and then did slightly UNDER a half-cup of milk, doubled the chia seeds to a full tbsp, and kept everything else the same- big spoonful of yogurt, rounded scoop of protein powder. No sweetener, but this time I added a rounded tsp of instant coffee and about the same in cocoa powder, and then this morning I added, like, literally like a tsp of this coffee creamer my roommate's nana recommended I try, and it came out really good, so I'm trying to recreate that tonight. We'll see what happens!

Uh last thing I guess, I made an impulsive purchase I probably shouldn't have. Monday nights where I work, I'm basically babysitting the place while it more or less runs itself, so once any tasks I need to get done GET done, I read a book. I had meant to bring an extra book with me today cause I was like a 10-15 sitdown away from finishing my at-the-time current book, but forgot, so I ran down to the closest book store and picked up one that I've had my eye on for a WHILE and have just never found at my local discount book shop: Slewfoot by Brom. I've read from Brom before and enjoyed his work, so I'm looking forward to digging into this one more- I already like what I've read so far. I feel like I'll finish this one quickly. Twenty bucks is a little steep for me as far as books go since I'm used to like, old beat-up $2 dollar paperbacks off the clearance rack of discount book shops, but I think it's gonna be worth it, and I think I deserve a treat now and again.

Actual last thing I've been playing Golden Sun. I've played it before but I didn't get very far in that run so long ago so I'm experiencing a lot of it for the first time and it's actually really good. I actually /love/ the Djinni system and the way that your moveset changes as you cycle them mid-battle, it's really cool. Looking forward to more of that.

NOT looking forward to the DOMS I'm gonna have tomorrow or the next day, but AM looking forward to drawing. I have some ideas. Here's hoping the whole "exercise helps you focus" thing holds some truth. Wish me luck.