#and it wasn't just a passing thing bc i was staying at a friend's house and their mum's partner asked me

[daemonhxckergrrl]

getting through the Most Relevant Backstory snippet (Abridged version), ready to now answer the question that the bare minimum context is set up and they've already made a general polite comment in response and moved topic.

[wintfleur]

so stella is anemic, what if one of her brothers finds her passed out bc of it

౨ৎ passing out spells and a misinformed quinny

°. — pairings ( Estella Hughes oc! X brother! Quinn Hughes )

°. — details ( g; i honestly don’t know. w; Stella passing out, I think that’s all. wc; 1.6k )

˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( thank you so much for requesting !!! So sorry that it took so long to get out, I’ve never written something like this before so I hope the passing out scene isn’t to cringe. I hope you guys enjoy it, please don’t be a silent reader !!! )

°. — ( feel free to send any requests of things you would like to see in this series, or if you just want to share some thoughts! I would absolutely love that! Please comment if you would like to be added to the tag list! )

au masterlist — you can find asks under #💌stellahughes!

Stella loved how peaceful early mornings were at her brother's lake house, especially when she had the house to herself. Luke was staying with some friends for the weekend, Jack was out doing God knows what, and Quinn decided to wake up early and go to a rink close by to do some laps. After making sure Stella was okay with being home alone, she was having a rough week, her energy was low, and she was basically napping and relaxing all week. 

Stella was curled up on the couch watching Gilmore girls and eating, well more like picking at some cherries when Quinn kissed her forehead and said he would be back soon. Shouting out a ‘i love you’ before he left. Stella mumbled back an i love you as her tired eyes were focused on the big tv, watching as dean and Rory argue for what felt like the 10th time this episode. 

She was currently rewatching the show with Luke, so she was stuck rewatching the earlier episodes since Luke was adamant of them watching it together. Stella yawned and brought the blanket she was cuddled up in up to her shoulders, she honestly wasn't sure whose blanket it was, it was already on the couch. 

Stella watched 3 more episodes of Gilmore girls before she started to get stir crazy and hot under the blanket. She pushed the blanket off her legs and sat up from laying down, she searched for the remote and paused the tv in the middle of the theme song. She blinked a few times and let out a heavy breath, starting to feel a little nauseous. Maybe it was the smell of cherries? She thought as she looked down at the bowl filled with cherries on the coffee table. 

Stella always got really nauseous whenever she was on her period, like now. She grabbed the bowl and got up from the couch, too quickly as she saw white spots in her vision. Stella ignored the nausea and the dizzy feeling she was used to and slowly walked out of the living room and into the kitchen to put the cherries in the fridge. 

She held onto the corner of the island counter after she put away the cherries, the dizzy feeling was much worse and the pounding in the back of her head became unbearable. Stella winced at the pounding in her head, closing her eyes and hoping that it would help. She felt that familiar fear of passing out, she slowly walked back into the living room, her legs and hands trembling. 

She grabbed onto the edge of the couch as she tried to lean against it, but she felt her knees become weak and her grip on the couch slip, her eyes roll back as she collapses on the living room floor with a thump. The last thing on her mind was that she was alone. 

Quinn hums along to the song playing on the radio channel Stella had put on the last time she was in the car with him, he wasn't sure what the song was, but he had heard Stella listen to it many times. His car would almost always turn into Stella's whenever they were together, her things in the backseat, her ChapStick or lip glosses in the cup holders. He wasn't complaining though, he missed it when he was away. 

He drove into the driveway and shut off his car, sliding his keys into his pocket and grabbing the cherry ChapStick in the cupholder that he remembered Stella complained to Cole about her losing it. He slid it into his pocket before getting out of the car and going to the trunk to grab his hockey bag. He gets his keys out his pocket and locks the car as he walks up to the front door and unlocks the door, a sigh of relief leaving his lips now that he's home. 

Quinn closes the door behind him and drops his hockey bag near the front door, tossing his keys on the island counter in the kitchen. He was confused when he didn't hear the sound of the tv, but then again maybe she went up to her room. “Stella, I'm home!” Quinn shouts out and he gets no answer, he knows she could be sleeping but he got a weird feeling in his chest that something was wrong. 

Quinn set the water bottle he pulled out of the fridge on the counter and made his way out of the kitchen and into the living room. Quinn's eyes drop to the floor of the living room and his eyes widen in fear and worry when he sees his sister's heart patterned socks peeking out from in front of the couch. Quinn quickly made his way around the crouch, and he dropped to his knees at Stella's side when he saw her unconscious on the ground. 

“Stella? Estella, can you hear me?” Quinn frantically spoke loudly, his tone filled with worry as he quickly but gently rolled Stella to lay on her back, one of his hands on the back of his littles sister's head as he tilted it back to clear her airways. His heart was almost beating out of his chest as he tried to remember all the steps of helping someone who's unconscious. 

He turned his body to reach and grab a pillow off the couch to put under Stella's legs but quickly turns back to his little sister when he hears the weak groan leaving her pale pink lips. Quinn brought his hands to cup stella’s face, gently forcing her to open her eyes as he rubbed his thumbs on her cheeks “Hey, hey stella can you hear me ⸺ c’mon open your eyes.” 

“Oww” Stella sleepily whined out as she gained full consciousness. She was confused, she had no idea what was going on or what happened. All she knew was that her head was killing her, and her ass was numb. Stella slowly fluttered her eyes open, a wince leaving her lips at the bright light of the living room. Stella blinked a few times trying to get used to the light, Stella's hand gripped onto the fur of the rug, and she tried to flatten her palm to lift herself up from the uncomfortable floor. 

“Not so fast, it's okay just lay back down” Quinn spoke softly as he grabbed a pillow from the couch and slipped it under her head so she could rest it comfortably. Quinn kept his eyes on his little sister, they were still filled with worry. Stella groans and rests her head on the pillow looking up at her brother as she whispers, “What happened?” 

“Looks like you passed out ⸺ when were you gonna tell me you could do that hmm?” Quinn jokes with a weak smile, knowing that Stella would panic the more she thought of it. Stella sniffles and tries to smile at her brother's attempt to make her feel better, she was starting to remember what had happened. She replied quietly “Thought I’d surprise ya” 

“Consider me surprised” Quinn sighed, he gently moved some of Stella's hair out of her face before he stood up. “Don't move okay, I'm going to get your iron pills and something for you to drink.” 

Stella weakly nodded and watched as her big brother rushed into the kitchen. Stella waited for a few moments before she tried again to sit up, this time she was much more successful. Stella groaned quietly as she slowly stood up and sat on the couch, pulling the blanket over her lap and closing her eyes. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Stella chanted in her head as she did her breathing exercise, hoping that it would help with the pounding in her head. 

“I told you not to move ⸺ they say you have to lay down for 10 minutes” Quinn groaned as he walked into the living room to see stella snuggled up on the couch, of course she didn't listen to him. ‘They’ being the internet. Quinn had scoured the internet for as much information he could get about Stella's anemia and what to do if she passed out when she was diagnosed. 

“They also say you shouldn't put a pillow under someone's head after they pass out” Stella says matter-of-factly as she looks up at her brother who was holding out a cold glass of orange juice, the other hand holding two iron pills. 

“What? ⸺ and you're just telling me this now?” Quinn gaped as Stella took the glass and pills into her hands. Stella rolled her eyes and swallowed the two pills with a big mouthful of orange juice. She looks up at her brother who was giving her an unimpressed look, he took her health and safety very seriously. Stella gave him an innocent smile and just simply shrugged “It was a really comfy pillow.” 

“Where are you going?” Stella questioned him as he shook his head in disbelief and turned around to walk out of the living room, his hands on his hips as he dramatically walked out. All of her brothers were so damn dramatic . . . but so was she. She hears Quinn shout his answer from the kitchen and the sound of him unzipping his bag for his phone “Going to call mom and tell her you haven't been taking your pills.” 

“They also say you shouldn't put me through any stress or yell at me” Stella shouted back with a playful smile, she took another sip from the glass while she picked up the remote and started looking for something new to watch. Already feeling much better. 

“Now you're just making shit up!” Quinn shouted back with a roll of his eyes, knowing that his little sister was just teasing him. Quinn paused his movement of searching up their moms contact when he heard the faint sound of her laughter, a smile coming across his lips when he heard her sassily shout a reply. 

“It's completely true and reasonable!” 

˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( THIS. IS. SO. BAD. IM. GONNA. SCREAM. 😄 )

°. — taglist ( @privatemythss @prettyboywoll @cixrosie @toasttt11 )

[lovelettersfromluna]

Linger

Summary: Back home for the holidays after hooking up with your best friend, who you also happen to be madly in love with...what could possibly go wrong.

an: Look who managed to get the final part of a series in a manageable time, me!! This honestly would have been out way sooner but I ended up getting pretty sick, so I apologize for that. Im feeling better, and super inspired! I have some other stuff in the works for you all as well, bc I think you deserve to be spoiled 😌. Anyways! I hope you guys enjoy the last installment of this fic!! 🖤🖤🖤

Warnings: Smut!! MDNI!! 18+, Ellie and reader are both very sad and very stubborn, angst, hurt/comfort, alcohol usage, mention of marijuana, making out, pet names, oral (Ellie receiving), tribbing, let me know if I missed anything!

Part 1, part 2

Tag list: @eveshyper @mattm1964 @teawithnosugar @macaroni676 @ximtiredx @gold-dustwomxn @mina-281 @aethelwyneleigh27 @abbysmainbitch @lil-elliesgf @franreadss @fairyysoiree @r3wbeef @liizzygrant @elliewilliamsgf69 @mabelle-cherie @cauliflowerpatch @forelliesposts @lunasolac @nil-eena @pillowprincessleia @pedropascalsbbg @ellieswifeyy @lesbiantothemoonandback @dummysimp011 @miniaturebananadefendor @sweetpumpkins @thesmutconnoisseur @miksde @delicategirlie @sawaagyapong @thesevi0lentdelights @p4ison1vy @coxmicbabygirl @julibanana925 @viswifetotallyreal

The holidays had always been your favorite time of the year.

It always filled you with this warm, cozy, feeling every time you thought about it. Throughout all three hundred and sixty five days of the year, you looked forward to those last three months tucked away at the end of the year, that were filled with nothing but warm memories.

Ever since you had started college, you family made it a tradition of having you come back for the holidays. Right after halloween, you would practically race through the assignments you had until thanksgiving break before you were off to catch a flight to spend time with your family.

You and Ellie always went home together.

She was practically apart of your family, and you were practically apart of hers. If Joel wasn't knocking on your door with a half burnt pie with Ellie standing by his side, eager to play whatever new video came out that month, you and your family were making their way to the Miller house. It was just how things were, and you it was another reason why you loved the holidays so much.

But this year, things had changed.

The air only got colder with each passing day, nipping away at your skin and making it harder and harder to peel yourself from your warm bed every morning that you had class. It was like with each passing year, the colder months grew to be more bitter and unforgiving than the last.

It had been almost a month since you spoke to Ellie.

After everything that had happened at the party, the slew of emotions that brewed within the depths of your mind and soul was almost too much to bare.

After you passed out in Ellie's arm, the bliss you felt could not compare to anything else you had ever felt before. Out of all that you had done, every one you had ever been intimate with, there was no way they could ever hold a candle to the way Ellie made you feel that night. Her arms stayed wrapped around your body throughout the entire night, soft lips pressing sleepy kisses against your face and neck, her low voice mumbling sweet nothings into your ear between the hazy state that lies between sleep and wake.

All of it came together to create the single most euphoric experience you had ever come in contact with in your entire life. But but daylight, it was all ripped away.

As soon as your eyes opened, adjusting to the light shining into the foreign bedroom you slept in, you were confused. You weren't in your bedroom, you certainly weren't in your house, you started to struggle with finding things that you were familiar with.

The second you looked down and saw Ellie's face pressed against your chest, you had gotten what you asked for.

It made you seize up a bit, your body stiffening in the girls embrace as you slowly recalled what had happened the night prior. Images of Ellie slotted between your legs came flooding in, her face slick with your arousal, green eyes low and filled with lust, mumbling the filthiest things to you as she destroyed your core with her skilled tongue.

The memories alone made you whine.

The sound made Ellie groan in her sleep, the brunette humming softly as she stirred a bit in her sleep before she leaned in, pressing lazy, sleepy kisses against your throat as she nuzzled closer into you, seeking your warmth as she slowly came to.

"hmmm..whats the matter baby?" She mumbles out against your skin, her voice low and filled with that delicious gravel that only came with sleep. It makes you swallow thickly, taking a deep inhale as you still in her arms.

She was so comfortable, basking in the bliss that you felt mere moments ago. You could tell, from the relaxed muscles of her biceps, to the soft little hums that you felt against your neck, Ellie didn't have a care in the world, not when you were in her arms like this, not when she still had memories of the night prior running through her mind, painting a soft little smile on her pink lips

And truthfully? That made you feel even worse.

Your lack of a response makes her hum, as she blinked her green eyes open to stare up at you, pressing a soft kiss to your jaw. She saw the look on your face, she saw how it was nearly drained of all color. She was confused, because you both had such an amazing night together, there was no reason why you shouldn't be just as blissed out as she was.

"Baby? You with me?" She questioned once again, watching as you blink a few times, seemingly registering her words. You inhaled deeply, clearing your throat as you grabbed both of her arms, and began pulling them from around your body. Ellie frowned as she watched you, but not making any attempt to tighten her grasp and keep you close to her.

You didn't answer, you simply rolled out of bed and silently began grabbing your clothes that had been tossed around the bedroom, the fact alone made you frown further, because through the haze of your hangover, the exhaustion, and the overwhelming urge to crawl back into bed and let Ellie do whatever she wanted to you.

All you could think about, was Sofia.

Her pretty hair, her twinkling eyes, the little dimples she had at the corners of her lips. Her pretty face was the only thing that you could see in your mind. It was like her beauty was evading every corner of your brain, forcing herself to be known, to be acknowledged by you. For anyone, this would have most definitely been the normal thoughts that are linked to someone as beautiful as Sofia, but not for you.

Because you were moaning underneath her girlfriend a mere few hours ago.

You felt like you wee going to pass out. Your heart started to beat faster as the magnitude of what you did, what you let happen, finally began to settle in. It made you feel sick, and the back of your throat burned as hot tears threatened to spill past your eyes and onto your cheeks. How could you have been so stupid? How could you have ever let something like this happen? You were careless, and it was at the expense of someone else's feelings, someone else's relationship.

Through the racing thoughts that filled your head, and the pounding of your heart in your chest, you couldn't hear Ellie calling out for you multiple times. She was sat up on the bed, eyeing you as you rummaged through the bedroom to grab your belongings. She watched with furrowed eyebrows, and a gentle frown, trying to get you to simply look at her for a few minutes. Ellie knew you too well, and she knew that the quieter you got in times like this, the more you got trapped inside your own head.

She was losing you, and she knew that.

She called out your name once more, and through the graces of some unknown force, you heard it. It snaps you out of your thoughts, and it forced you to stand up straight, your head turning in her direction and eyeing her like a deer caught in the headlights. It made Ellie sigh softly, her feet swinging over the bed as she got up, and began making her way over to you.

"What's...what are you doing, baby? I thought...I thought we" She mumbled out softly, taking a few steps towards you. Her frown deepened when you respond to this, by stepping away from her. The way you stared up at her, is a look she doesn't think she will ever be able to forget, because you look terrified, disgusted, scared.

Worst part is, she doesn't know if you feel that way about you, or yourself.

She tried reaching out for you, slender fingers inches away from your waist, her hands burning for you once again. You stepped back again, staring at the girl in disbelief. "Thought what, Ellie? Huh? Thought that...that you could just ruin my night last night? And then drag me up to a random fucking room just to fuck me? So that you could.." You choked up, the words dying down in your throat, the mere thought of what you were going to say making those hot tears burn at your throat again.

You inhaled deeply, blinking back the tears that glossed over your eyes. "That you could use me, to cheat on Sofia" you whispered out, and that was enough to make those wretched tears spill onto your cheeks.

Ellie felt herself choke up as soon as she saw you that way, teary eyed, voice barely above a whisper, heart visibly breaking, and it was all because of her. It was all because of her, and her inability to do things right for once in her life.

You didn't make any attempt at hiding your tears anymore, they were there, and it was clear to see that what happened, was affecting you. The only thing you could do, was leave with the small amount of pride that you still had.

When a moment passed without Ellie saying anything, the girl knowing deep down, that there was nothing she could truly say to justify the situation, or make her actions any less wrong than they already were, you let out a tired sigh. You picked up the last of your things, slung your purse over your shoulder, and left Ellie there standing there.

And as horrible as it sounded, it hurt even more when she didn't try to chase after you.

You didn't want to ask your mom if Ellie and Joel were coming to your house for the holidays, because you knew that it would instantly raise suspicion on what had been going on between the two of you. Your mother could see right through you, and she was no stranger to how eager you always became to have both Joel and Ellie over to the holidays, so once she noticed that it was replaced with anxiety, she would be concerned. She was already confused when she learned that you and Ellie wouldn't be making your way home together like usual.

You hated traveling alone, you always did the annual holiday flight home with Ellie. She made what would usually be quite the boring trip, something that you found to be just as exciting as the holidays itself. You saw it as the perfect way to kick off your favorite time of the year.

But this year, you were doing it alone. Something about it made you feel like the holidays this year wouldn't go down as one of your favorites.

As soon as your parents were picking you up from the airport, and smothering you in kisses, telling you how much they missed you and asking you how your flight went, you felt a bit of the dark cloud that was looming over you clear up a bit. It allowed you to forget about the intense thoughts of your best friend that had been following you around for the past month.

It made you feel hopeful for the time that you had home.

After that night, there was a tiny piece of you that hoped Ellie would reach out. You selfishly hoped that she would come and find you, apologize for what happened, tell you that things between her and Sofia were fine, so that you could go back to normal.

But she didn't.

Ellie ignored you, just as much as you ignored her.

You kept your head down for the most part, in class and when walking through the hallways. You didn’t know how you’d be able to handle seeing Ellie, or seeing Sofia.

Or worse, seeing them together.

When it was fresh, you wanted to avoid it. You wanted to pretend it didn’t happen and carry on throughout the remainder of the semester keeping to yourself.

Soon, you realized that you’d gone the longest without speaking to Ellie throughout your entire friendship. She didn’t text you, she didn’t try to come and see you, hell, she didn’t even look in your direction. It was like she didn’t know you, as if you hadn’t practically grown up together, reaching your greatest milestones together.

On her end, there was complete silence.

The one time you caught her looking at you, was when Alex was sitting with you in the courtyard one day. It was one of the last days leading up to the break, and Alex had slowly made her way back to you. After everything happened, she gave you your space, while quietly letting you know she was still around. Once you finally worked up the courage to speak to her, and apologize for what Ellie did, she told you she understood. She tried to explain to you, that the way Ellie looked at you, wasn’t the way someone looks at just a friend. She could see the fire in her eyes, an undeniable need for you.

But you refused to believe it.

Ellie had every chance to be with you. She was the closest person in the world to you, she knew everything about you, her she never made any attempts to take things further. That was fine, it wasn’t something you dwelled on, because if you weren’t Ellie’s type, then so be it. You knew you weren’t, and while it was something that didn’t bother you…

It did once she had no issue with hooking up with you, but never tried to actually love you.

It made you feel cheap, knowing that you were only worthy of being the other woman, of being the girl that had to stay hidden behind closed doors, a fantasy for Ellie to play with, all while having the benefits of Sofia as her girlfriend. It made you wonder why you weren’t good enough, what separated you from the other girls she dated.

You figured you’d leave that thought alone. If you didn’t, you’d drive yourself mad.

Alex acted as your person of comfort through all of this, offering you nights of hanging out, study dates, or even stopping by to talk after class. You had to admit, it helped. And while she was sitting across from you on a bench underneath a shady tree, listening as you vented about the paper you were working on for that week, you happened to look up for only a second, and you were suddenly locking eyes with Ellie.

Ellie, who had eyes that were glazed over, lips parted as if she wanted to say something, but couldn’t. Eyebrows knitted together as if she’d cry at any moment, begging, screaming for you to hear her, to see her.

Ellie, who immediately turns her head away from you, and keeps on walking.

Throughout the entire month of not speaking to Ellie, that was the single interaction you had with her. And now, you were expected to spend the holidays with her, her father, and the rest of your family. Pretending as if everything was okay, and none of this was keeping you up every single night since the party.

You tried your hardest to get out of the dinner your mom had planned.

You used every excuse in the book. You said your throat was hurting, meaning you must have been coming down with a cold, you complained that you had the worst headache, you even tried using the excuse of not bringing any appropriate clothes for a party.

But of course, your sweet parents did their best at convincing you that the party would be fun, and you’d regret missing it if you did.

You tried taking your time while getting ready, hoping that with some stroke of luck, everyone that was supposed to arrive would’ve flaked on the last minute, meaning you wouldn’t have to put on a tight dress and do your makeup for no reason. Once you heard your mothers squeals, paired with the front door creaking from upstairs, you knew that was out of the question.

You slowly made your way downstairs, kitten heels clicking against the wooden floorboards, the bottom of your white linen dress swaying a bit with you as you walked. It fit you perfectly, hugging your curves at the middle, little flower cutouts littering every other inch of the dress, a dainty little golden necklace resting against your chest, your hair styled perfectly, makeup even more so.

You smiled softly as you greeted some of the guests, all of them raving to your parents about how pretty you were, how much you’d grown, how they didn’t have a little girl anymore. The compliments swelled your heart, making your head big as you shook them off, trying your best to keep up with all of them. The guests were a good distraction, giving you the opportunity to act as your mothers mini me, handing out glasses of champagne and whiskey, giving everyone a warm greeting.

It was so much of a distraction, that you barely noticed your father opening the door for Joel and Ellie.

With how much she’d been avoiding you, you were almost convinced she wouldn’t come. Ellie was never one to go to places she didn’t want to, and Joel rarely forced her. He knew her boundaries, and so did she, and you were sure that as of right now, you were crossing every single one of them with just your existence alone.

Ellie catches sight of you first, once your father let her go of the big bear hug he gave her, her eyes were instantly searching for you.

She feels her breath hitch once she lays eyes on you, pushing your pretty hair past your shoulder, laughing softly at something someone that wasn’t fully visible to her was saying. You brought your champagne glass to your lips, sipping a bit of the golden, bubbly liquid.

Ellie had never been more jealous of a fucking glass in her entire life.

A few hours prior, Ellie had been pacing in her bedroom a few blocks away from your house. She didn’t know what to wear, she didn’t know how to act, she didn’t even know if she’d actually being going. Ever since the night at the party, Ellie had an unmistakable lump in her throat every time she thought about you.

Every time she thought about your lips on hers, or the way your moans sounded, or the way she’d stupidly avoided that nagging little voice inside her head for the past however many years, screaming at her about how pretty you are, about how good it felt to sleep in bed with you at night, at how fucking right it felt to simply be near you.

She thought about all the times the perfect girl for her was standing right there, and she somehow always passed her up for someone else.

Ellie’s initial reaction to everything was to run. She wanted to run from everything, from you, from Sofia, from her feelings. Everything that was complicated in her life was just another thing she needed to get away from, and it’s why you didn’t hear from her after that night. She made sure to make herself scarce, because she knew once she got in front of you again, she’d either say something ridiculous that would dig her into a deeper hole than she was already in, or she’d screw up and kiss you again because she simply couldn’t help herself.

She figured staying away was the best.

Fighting off her feelings was the way to go, and it’s what she did. She knew that eventually she’d have to face the music, but she opted for that later than sooner. She hoped that by the time she saw you again, you’d both be able to get over whatever it was that happened, sweep it under the rug and carry on like before.

Yet, here she was, facing the music like she knew she had to, and it wasn’t any easier than it was in the beginning.

You were always pretty, from the moment Ellie had found you on the playground as kids, she thought you were pretty. The way your eyes crinkled when you smiled, the way you hid your face behind the thick, frumpy turtle necks during the winter, only your cute cheeks and eyes visible, everything about you had always been so fucking pretty, there was no doubt about it.

But God…she had a tendency of forgetting how fucking breathtaking you were when you were like this. All dressed up, diamond earrings twinkling in the dim light of your home, lips tinted the most perfect shade of red, complimenting your skin tone, tugged between your teeth as you eagerly listened on in whatever conversation you were in.

Whenever you looked like this, only one thought came to Ellie’s mind. She’d think about you and her, in a nice big house, planning cheesy Christmas parties for people, wining and dining your guests, her strong arm snagged around your waist as she paraded around her beautiful wife, bragging about the shiny diamond ring she used to propose to you.

It was a selfish thought, but still one that lingered in the back of her mind. Whenever she couldn’t sleep, or got a little too high, it would pop up, and put a stupid smile on her face as she basked in the way her chest warmed up at the thought of making you her wife, the perfect timeline of friendship to lovers.

It was ridiculous, wasn’t it? Ellie dreaming of you as her wife yet she’d brag about other girls to you constantly. Yeah, she didn’t get it either.

It was like a form of self sabotage, Ellie somehow feeling she’d never be enough for you. As your best friend, she wanted nothing but the best for you, because she knew you deserve it, and somehow she didn’t fit that category herself. She wanted desperately to, to be the one for you, to sweep you off your feet and show you what love is. It made her sick to her stomach even thinking about someone else doing it for you, anyone but her.

It was twisted, and selfish, and fucked up, and it was why you guys were drifting further apart than you ever had.

When Ellie finally decided to go to the party, she had it all planned out. She was going to get in, have a few drinks to loosen her up a bit, then she’d take you away and confess her undying love for you….

Or? She’d stare at you like a hawk all night, get too drunk and leave without uttering a single word to you, continuing her silent streak she had going.

The choice was in her hands.

You still hadn’t noticed her at that point, and once a few other guests had made their way to your front door to be greeted by your dad, and she noticed that you didn’t look their way either, she figured you were avoiding the front door like a plague, because you didn’t want to risk seeing Ellie.

And that was true, partially. You were half ignoring the door, and half enjoying your glass of champagne while speaking to one of your dads dearest friends. The alcohol made you feel warm, and it made it easier to have tunnel vision on anything but Ellie, allowing your fake smile to appear the slightest bit more real to the party goers, and that was good enough for them, and for you.

As much as you tried ignoring the door, you couldn’t ignore Ellie’s eyes burning into from different parts of the room. You could feel her gaze searing into you when your parents were greeting her, once again raving about how beautiful she’d gotten, how much they loved her tattoos. As much as you wanted to give in on her, and lock eyes with those green eyes you missed so much, you knew that was a bad idea.

You’d have to simply play dumb for the rest of the night

The party carried out better than you’d imagined.

You managed to avoid Ellie without being painfully obvious to everyone there that you were in fact avoiding Ellie, and you wanted to praise yourself for doing so. It was easy, busying yourself with guests, the alcohol turning you into the little social butterfly your parents always wanted you to be. Using the excuse of hopping from conversation to conversation made it easy to keep your focus on something for enough time, that you were able to completely ignore Ellie.

Being pulled in all sorts of directions, being called every time you stepped away to refill someone’s drink or grab another tray of snacks, you were the star of the show, as funny as that seemed to you. The attention you received would’ve made your head spin on any other given day, but right now, it was just what the doctor ordered.

Sure, there were a few awkward moments where Ellie made her way to the bar when you just so happened to be there. There were moments where her broad shoulders would brush past yours, almost pulling you out of your fantasy world completely, putting you at her mercy. There was even a moment during dinner where you were positive Ellie’s eyes were going to pop out of her head with how closely she watched you.

Through all of those things, and many other tiny little instances that were a bit too awkward for you to deal with, you prevailed. And honestly? It made you feel hopeful for your future in school. If you managed to ignore Ellie so flawlessly during a holiday party, all while maintaining the composure of not having her near? There was no way in hell you’d fuck up the same exact thing at school.

You didn’t need Ellie, and you were slowly proving that to yourself.

Once dinner was done, everyone stayed for only a bit longer, praising your mothers cooking skills, and the decorations in the house. Slowly, the guests started to leave, sleepy eyes and full bellies was all they needed to be sent home with sweet dreams and even sweeter desserts, courtesy of your mother. You felt the weight on your chest grow lighter and lighter with each person leaving, knowing that in due time, Ellie would be leaving as well. When you heard your father and mother walking Joel to the door, all three of them laughing like a group of teenagers after a rowdy night together, you bid the older man a goodbye and made yourself scarce. The kitchen had been cleaned, leftovers had been packed up and put away, and you were feeling far too warm from the liquor, and in desperate need of your bed.

Your heels clicked against wooden stairs as you made your way up to your bedroom, a soft huff leaving your lips as you reached behind your back, struggling to undo the annoying little clasp that held the back of your dress together near the zipper. Another puff of air blew passed your burgundy tinted lips once you reached your bedroom, kicking your slipper heels off as you continued clumsily fumbling with the back of your dress. At this point, you felt tempted to call it quits and sleep in the damn thing.

A soft knock on your door caught your attention, and you let out a sigh of relief as you walked over to it, knowing that it was most certainly your mother coming up to catch any late night gossip that you and her had caught within the night from some of the older ladies that attended.

“Thank god, i was waiting for you to come up. Can you help me with this, mom? I can’t get the clasp” you huff out softly, already turning around and reaching behind your back to fumble with the clasp before you can see who it is standing at your doorway.

Ellie’s eyes are shamelessly raking down your body, the girl swallowing thickly as she looks down at the swell of your ass under the taunt, linen fabric of your dress. The lack of your mothers voice makes you frown, and you quickly turn around to see what it is that has her so silent, but your face drops whenever you’re met face to face with Ellie instead.

Any cockiness that you felt regarding how well you’d ignored Ellie that night had disappeared, and was only replaced with silence as you stared into her eyes. Your throat goes dry, unable to find the words to say to her, and Ellie figures this is her chance.

“Um…your parents and my dad went to check out some holiday thing going on down the street…they asked if I wanted to come but I…figured I should come talk to you instead” she explains, and you simply stare at her dumbfounded, because the path of logic that lead her up to your bedroom is one that you seriously can't come to sympathize with, no matter how pitiful she looked staring into your eyes.

You inhaled deeply, eyebrows furrowed as you gave the girl an unamused look. A moment of silence passes between the both of you before you give her a shrug. "If you leave now you could probably still catch them" you hum out, the alcohol in your system making it far too easy to be rude to your best friend. She visibly deflates at your words, the tone on your tongue foreign to her ears. She was so used to you being so shy, so sweet, always welcoming her with there same sweet words you had for her.

"Look...We can't just carry on as if nothing happened. We need to talk about this...please", you hate the way your stomach does flips when she speaks, the girl practically pleading with you to hear her out. Begging to get a moment alone with you to simply reflect on everything that happened. In that moment, you realized that no matter what, no matter what she did to you, or what happened between the two of you...

You would always be weak for her.

Your gaze softens as you watch her, taking a deep breath before you silently step to the side, giving her the space to walk into your bedroom. The way her eyes shine when you do this doesn't go unnoticed, and those stupid fucking puppy dog eyes of hers are making you melt all over again, especially when she looks so happy just from you letting her into your room.

Ellie inhales deeply once she's in your room, looking around and taking it all in. She recalls all the many nights you two had spent there together, staying up late and watching corny movies, your eyes burning from being glued to the tv for too long. She remembers all the times she would follow you home after school, using studying as an excuse to spend a few more hours of the day with you. She remembers all of it, every memory, all the times you two spent together in that house, in your room. She smiles at the sight of the little flowers on your bedsheets, or the way your room had somehow perfectly preserved the sent of you, of your shampoo, of your favorite lotion, filling her lungs and almost making her feel dizzy. She makes a mental note that your room is definitely one of her favorite places.

And she hates that you two had come to whatever you were at now, creating bitter memories in such a sweet space.

The sound of your soft sigh cuts through her thoughts, and she quickly turns around to see you. Your arms were crossed over your chest, your face still with that unamused expression, making Ellie feel like you would rather be anywhere other than with her, like you couldn't wait for her to leave your bedroom, and it makes her heart sink completely, because out of all the memories Ellie had with you, none of them were ever filled with that face that you were making.

She clears her throat, awkwardly shifting her weight onto feet as she gives you a nod, as if answering a question that you hadn't even asked. "Sorry..um...let's sit?" She questions hopefully, and you shake your head, standing your ground with the girl.

"I'm fine here...and whatever you need to say to me can be said standing up" you mumble out softly. You knew deep down, that the second Ellie got you siting next to her, you wouldn't be able to fight back the urges you had to jump her bones. You would be lying if you said that you didn't think about her every night since the party. Her lips, her tongue, the way her hands felt roaming your body, keeping you close while you both slept. The memories you had with here were seared at the front of your brain, demanding to be acknowledged every waking moment of your day.

She frowns softly at your words, but gives you a gentle nod, understanding that this was just as hard for you as it was for her, if not more. Ellie takes a deep inhale, seemingly trying to find the right words to say, the right way to start off this entire conversation. She finds herself choking up, heart beating so fast she was sure you could hear it. You're making her nervous, and Ellie is finding it hard to separate the girl that has been her best friend for her entire life, from the girl that she was falling in love with.

And she finds it hard to figure out when those two things became one and the same.

"I broke up with Sofia." she blurts out, the words almost leaving her lips too fast to make a coherent sentence, but still, you catch every word perfectly. You stare at her for a moment before you scoff, you don't mean for the sound to come out as harsh as it does, but you don't have much control over your emotions at the moment.

"Is that supposed to change every thing? Is that supposed to make all of this okay, Ellie?" You question, the calmness of your voice almost scaring Ellie. She quickly shakes her head, stepping closer towards you, to which you take a step back, mirroring the morning after the party almost identically.

"No! Fuck..No, it isn't supposed to fix every thing..I just-" Although you agreed to hearing Ellie out, letting her into your bedroom for the sole purpose of letting her explain, you're cutting her off, because you truly cannot hold back anymore. You're tired of holding it all back, biting your tongue and forcing down what you felt for the sake of others.

"Do you not understand what you did? You sabotaged something that was....that was fucking good for me. Alex was so good for me, and you were so dead set on ruining that for me!" Your voice slowly begins to raise, and you are so thankful that your parents and Joel aren't in the house, because you're sure the neighbors can probably hear you.

Ellie opens her mouth again to speak, attempting to diffuse your anger, but you don't let her. "No, I have gone this entire time in silence, it's time I talk for once" you stop her, and Ellie is positive she's never seen you this angry in her entire life.

"You have known me, almost your entire life. You never once made any advances towards me, which is fine! I've watched you have multiple girlfriends who could not be any further away from what I am than they already are, and I never said a word. I have loved you from the moment I understood what love is, and I never said anything. I was okay with not being wanted by you, I was content with just being your friend, but suddenly you're stopping me from gettin into a relationship of my own? and using me to cheat on your girlfriend?" You started pacing as you spoke, your hands flailing about as you ranted, unable to even stop and realize that you had in fact just confessed that you loved your best friend.

You were just so tired. You were tired of feeling unwanted, of feeling like you were always the second option, never worthy enough to be the girl that was taken home to mom, always the girl that was picked last.

You were fucking tired.

Ellie feels like her heart seizes up when she hears those words, the ones that confirmed your feelings. She hears how tired you are, how broken you have become, at the hands of her doings, and she can feel that the love you have for her is slowly drifting as this situation prolongs.

"And...and I know I've never been that girl. I'll never be Sofia, I'll never be the girl that makes people do a double take when I'm walking down the hallway, Im not...that isn't me. And I was fine with that! I was fine with going unnoticed...but do you...do you know how hard it is to be placed second by the girl you're madly in love with? You made me feel so...fucking worthless of actually being wanted past a night of fucking" You're crying at this point, soft hiccups and sighs interrupting every other word, making it hard to breath, and making you sound all the more broken.

Ellie watches as you pace back and forth, ranting, crying, desperately trying to find answers for why she did what she did. Searching for the will to prove that you were worth it, that you were worth love.

She realizes that she destroyed any chance of you feeling worthy of love when she drove Alex away from you.

You finally stop pacing, turning towards her. The image of you breaks her heart, because your lashes are webbed together, eyes glossy with tears, cheeks soaked, chest rising and falling as you try to catch your breath.

"You need to leave" You mumble out, voice trembling as you struggle to get the words out. Ellie simply stares as she watches you, shaking her head as she tugs her bottom lip between her teeth. "M'not going anywhere...I won't leave you again" She tries, her voice barely above a whisper. Your chin wobbles a bit as more tears threaten to spill onto your cheeks, your throat burning as you shake your head, your arms going up to wrap around your torso, as if you were keeping yourself from falling apart.

"Y-you need to get out of my house, Ellie...I can't...I won't allow you to break my heart anymore" The way you struggle to find a proper pattern of breathing and speech is a clear indication that you're on the verge of breaking down all over again, crumbling apart and letting your emotions get the best of you, and it hurts Ellie so much, she feels tears prickling at her own eyes as well.

She frowns deeply as she moves to step closer to you, watching as your head falls, staring at the floor of your bedroom, small whimpers leaving your lips. She takes the opportunity to get as close to you as she had the entire night, staring down at you for a moment before she hesitantly wraps her strong arms around your body, which results in a low sigh of relief from her, and more sobs from you.

"Can't leave you, angel...Im not making that mistake again" She mumbles softly, her words muffles as she presses her face against your head, her eyes fluttering shut as she takes a deep inhale of your floral shampoo.

And you can't even fight her off, not when your body is shaking as you sob in her arms, not when her holding you is the only thing that soothes the burn, soothes your aching heart of all the pain it had experienced, not only within the past month, but throughout the entire duration of your friendship with Ellie.

Ellie stands there for a moment, holding you as you cry, as you both cry. Somewhere within the time of hearing your soft little whimpers muffled into her shirt, tears began to spill onto her cheeks as well. Her strong arms ran up and down your back, keeping you close, thankful that you were at least letting her do this for you. Once you had calmed down a bit, you finally pull away slightly to look up into her eyes, your own red and puffy as you sniffle.

"I meant it Ellie...I can't...I won't do this with you anymore" You mumble softly, your heart swelling due to how fucking close she was. You could kiss her if you wanted to, the girl staring down at you and taking in all of your features.

She felt her heart break, because she knew you were referring to your friendship, but your words felt like it was an ending to so much more than that. It felt like she was losing her person, the one that was for her, her only love that she needed within her life.

Because she was.

She inhaled deeply, shaking her head slightly as she tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. "You know I can't leave...angel.." she hummed softly, and it made you eyebrows furrow. She felt your hands push against her waist, trying to pry your body from hers, trying your best to put more space between the two of you so that you could finally kick her out, and end whatever it was that was going on between the two of you.

And she realized, it was now or never.

"I can't do that, because i'm in love with you" she continued quickly, knowing she was running out of time to tell you how she felt. She knew that this was her last chance, and she had to use it accordingly.

The way your eyes widen as you stare up at her makes Ellie frown, because you look shocked. Is it really so shocking to believe that your best friend could love you just as much as you loved her, if not more?

You don't say anything, so she takes your silence as an opportunity to continue speaking.

"Since we were kids...I just...I didn't want to ruin things, and I always knew you deserved better than what I could ever offer, and you still do...But i'm selfish, and I can't ignore the way I feel when i'm around you" She mumbles out, trying to speak low so that you don't hear the way her voice begins to break the more she speaks about it.

You can see clearly that she's on the verge of tears, her green eyes glossing over with tears, her nose and cheeks flushing red as she bit down on her bottom lip, seemingly fighting back the tears as she squeezes your waist, trying her best to keep herself at bay.

"Im sorry..for everything that I've done...for making you ever feel like you were unwanted or undesirable when that couldn't be further from the truth...I was stupid, and I did things horribly and I've fucked up any chances I had with making you something more to me than friend...but I hope you can forgive me...because I can't...I can't do this without you" she whimpers out softly, the tears that she was desperately trying to hold back, already flowing down her freckled cheeks.

When she stares down at you, and your expression is so unreadable, and all you can do is stare back at her, she knows it's done. She knows that she shouldn't have come to bother you, and that she was better of leaving things as they were, but she can't help but feel a bit of relief that you now know the she loves you too.

And as her hands begin to loosen from your waist, and a soft sigh of defeat leaves her lips, you do something that you didn't think you would do in a million years.

You cup both your hands around Ellies face, and kiss her with every ounce of passion in your body.

It catches her off guard at first, but she doesn't waste much time in kissing you back. You can feel the way her slender fingers grip your waist tighter, desperately pulling you closer to her body as you kiss her passionately, your hands going up to wrap around her neck, basking in the love that you could feel pouring out of Ellie, and flowing straight into you.

She feels like her head is spinning, because she was sure she wouldn't ever feel your soft lips pressed against hers. You were the one that got away, and she had already made peace with that. But you were kissing her, and the passion was growing by the second, and you were slowly pushing her back towards the bed, and suddenly she has you again.

It's all a blur, because one moment you were yelling at Ellie, crying to her about how heart broken you were. Then she was apologizing to you, begging for your forgiveness, and now she's laying on your bed, with you straddling her as you kiss her passionately, slowly, simply enjoying the taste of each others mouths. Ellie's hands are roaming your body, squeezing your thighs, your middle, every where she can possibly touch you, she is. The kissing is slow, and sensual, and the sound of your tongues lapping against one another makes all of the heat in your body rush to your core.

Ellie groans softly when you break the kiss, opening her mouth to complain and pull you back to where she needed you the most, yet her words are dying down once she notices that you begin to kiss down her body.

You push her t shirt up a bit, kissing her hips gently before you settle between her legs, humming softly as you begin to undo the button of her jeans and tug them down her body. This makes Ellie frown, because as much as she can feel her aching clit throb at the mere thought of having your mouth on her cunt, she knows she doesn't deserve it. She doesn't deserve to have you there, so she props herself up on her palms, and tries to close her legs.

"Baby...wait...you don't have to-" You quickly cut her off, tugging her jeans more before you shake your head. "I've dreamed about doing this to you for years...please" you whine softly, staring up at her with wide eyes as you tug your bottom lip between your teeth. Ellie isn't strong enough for this, because you're settled between her legs, giving her the sweetest puppy dog eyes, biting down on your plush lips, and begging to eat her out. She knows she should be worshiping you, but god you are hard to say no to.

She simply raises her hips, aiding you in tugging her jeans off. She chuckles softly when she sees the way your eyes glimmer with excitement when she does this. You hum softly, leaning into her clothed core and pressing a soft kiss to it, the wet patch making you hum softly against her. "So pretty..." you hum softly, more so to yourself than her before you tug her panties to the side, far too eager to be faced with the job of taking them off.

You waste no time in pressing your lips to her soaked pussy, which forces Ellie to moan softly, her eyebrows furrowed with pleasure as she stares down at you, wanting to burn the image of you eating her pussy in her brain for the rest of her life. Your tongue pushes past your lips, lapping at her core, circling her clit, and it makes Ellie feel like she's going to lose her mind.

She feels her chest burn with a tinge of jealousy, because how the hell are you so good at that?

Your tongue pushing into her drooling hole makes all of those thoughts leave her mind instantly, and she's throwing back her head, moaning loudly for you as you begin to practically tongue fuck her.

"Ahhh...such a good fucking girl...eating my pussy so good..." her praises go straight to your core, forcing you to whine softly against her pussy. Ellie groans, her tattooed hand going to your head, keeping you close as she begins grinding against your face. "Mm..f-fuck...thats my fucking girl...fuck....wait...wait..Im close" she groans softly, trying to pull your mouth away from her. You don't budge though, eager to taste her release. You whine softly, your tongue rapidly moving against her clit. It makes Ellie groan, her eyebrows furrowing as she desperately began to shy away from your mouth, shaking her head as she tried catching her breath. "Slow down baby..I don't...I wanna cum with you..." She explains, and her heart breaks as you pout up at her, clearly displeased with her for not allowing you to finish playing with her pussy. It makes Ellie chuckle, and she slowly begins to pull you up, humming as she lets you straddle her lap. "Don't pout at me that way, baby...wanna do this right" She explained, looking up at you with hearts in her eyes, glimmering with adoration like a love sick puppy.

Her stare makes you whine softly, and her hand comes up to cup your cheek gently. "Will you let me make love to you? Is that okay?" She questioned, her voice low and soft, giving you full control of the situation, determining whether or not this would go any further.

And for a moment, you questioned what was best. You could have stopped this, crawled off of Ellies body and send her home, telling her that this was a mistake, and you should just stop being friends right then and there.

Or, you could simply let go. You could forgive her, and allow yourself all of the love you had ever wanted and craved from her, since you were a young girl. You could give into her, and let her love you the way you knew she could. Your heart still ached, and the scars that were left were still present, but they were fading, and every moment that you spent with Ellie, like this, in her arms, you felt as though she was exactly what you needed to feel better.

Ellie was mending your broken heart, and there was no way you'd let that go.

Without missing another beat, you give Ellie a soft nod before you leaned in, pressing the softest, sweetest kiss to her mouth. It makes her groan softly, because what did she ever do to deserve someone so soft, so forgiving, so fucking good.

She hums softly as she reaches behind you, undoing the claps of your dress before zipping it down and tugging it off your body, leaving you only in your panties before her. She gently pulls you against her body, your naked chest flushed against hers as she turns both of your bodies around so you were laying down with your back against your bed, and she was hovering over you.

She pulls back, sighing softly as her eyes raked down your body, taking you in like a work of art. She began tugging her own t shirt off, leaving her completely naked before you, before she reached down and snagged two fingers under the waistband of your panties, pulling them down as well.

She pressed her lip against yours, one of her hands coming down and grabbing your thigh so that your legs were spread. The kiss was sweet, and loving, and it made your head spin, distracting you from the way she began slotting herself against you, positioning her soaking wet core right against yours, the feeling making you moan softly into her mouth.

"I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you...my sweet girl.." She mumbled softly against your lips before she pulled away from you, straightening out her back a she stared down at you, one of your legs tossed over her shoulder, as she slowly began grinding her pussy down onto yours.

You had never felt anything like it. She was so wet, so soft against you, her velvety core slipping and sliding against yours, clit bumping against yours in a way that could only be described as euphoric. It made your back arch almost painfully.

Your eyes never left Ellie, because she looked like a goddess above you. Her features were so beautiful, the warm glow of the moon shining in through your window and illuminating them, so that she looked like something out of a fairytale. Her eyes were filled with love, her lips dragging against your calf, kissing you wherever she could as she stared at you, watching your every move, watching as your face contorted with pleasure.

"Look at you...you're a fucking dream...the perfect fucking girl for me" She moaned out, her hips slowly rolling, fucking her pussy down onto yours deliciously slow. You only nodded, whining softly as you grabbed her thigh, massaging her soft skin as you tried hanging on as long as you possibly could.

She smirked softly, tugging her bottom lip between her teeth as she moaned again. "You're so fuckin' cute...my pretty girl..." her voice was so low, words so slow, dripping with lust, want, need.

Love.

She was getting closer, and so were you. You could tell in the way she started to speed up, her teeth grazing against your leg as she began to get restless. Her eyebrows furrowed with pleasure. "I...fuck I love you so much...I have always loved you so fucking much" she moaned out, and this pulls a long, drawn out moan from your lips, which results in an encouraging nod from Ellie.

"L-love you so much, Ellie...always have" you whine out, struggling to form coherent and full sentences as you became prisoner to the pleasure Ellie brought you. She moaned softly, leaning down and pressing her body against yours, your pebbled nipples pressed against her own as she caught your lips in a passionate kiss.

"That's it baby...come on...cum for me...cum with me" she groaned against your lips, her hips moving faster as she chased both your orgasms.

You moaned loudly, pushing your tongue into Ellies mouth, wrapping you arms around her neck to keep her close, and allowing yourself to let go as your orgasm washed over you. It was intense, and euphoric, and blissful, and it felt like you were gettin hit by a bolt of lightening, because you felt your heart blooming with a love like no other.

It was different from the feeling of a crush, or what you thought was a love unrequited. It was hot, and electrifying and it made you feel alive again, it mended any broken feelings you had before the night had started, and even before that, and it made you feel like you were complete.

Ellie groaned against your mouth, her orgasm lining up with yours when she felt the way you pushed your tongue into her mouth, needy whines telling her all that she needed to know, that she had gotten you there, and she had shown you just how much she loved you.

You both laid there for a moment, wrapped in each others arms, trying to catch your breath. Ellie held you close, brushing the hair out of your face that had stuck to your skin during everything, she gave you gentle praises, bringing you back to earth with her. Soon, you were both tugging your blankets over your bodies, the chilly air making its presence known as it nipped away at your naked bodies.

You laid there, tangled up in each others embrace, kissing softly, and laughing lazily, exhaustion slowly taking over you both. You felt in your heart that this was all far different from the night at the party. This was filled with passion, and love, and it all started from a clean slate, where you two began to once again understand each other.

And as you fell asleep, you knew for a fact that Ellie Williams, was yours.

[koishiro]

# - 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 📍

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ — 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 : after meeting megumi’s dad, you’ll experience a night at the lake you’ll never forget

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ — 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 : dilf!toji x non-virgin!reader

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ — 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 : short smut with the tiniest plot ever

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ — 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒 : cumming inside (readers on bc), oral (male receiving), cheating (toji’s married)

=͟͟͞͞ ⌧ 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐋 : this is in a different universe where toji isn’t a complete dick to megumi and is a responsible parent (shocking I know) but still doesn’t completely get along with megs

Part 1 | 2 | 3

masterlist | jjk masterlist | anon masterlist

He was the first guy to ever get his cock to that place in the back of my mouth where it can slip into my throat.

It was an exhilarating discovery, learning there's a whole new thing out there to try and do. I was surprised no one had tried this with me before, from what I can gather after the fact it seems very popular with men, but they're too intimidated to try it in real life, or at least initiate it.

My friend, Nobara, had a lake house (which was really open to anyone, giving access to fishermen and, like us, a spot for hookups) about an hour away from our school. We'd go there a few times through the years with our group of friends which usually revolved around myself, Yuji, Megumi, Nobara, and whatever guys we were dating/crushing on at that time and spend the weekend playing drinking games and daring each other to go skinny dipping. It was every students dream.

I'd met Megumi’s dad a few times since I'd known him. I met him the same day I met ‘Gumi, walking past his dorm I saw his dad lugging heavy furniture into his dorm, sweaty and attractive — in a rugged, masculine way. I had found out later that his name was Toji.

"Has anyone ever told you your dad is really hot?" I asked Megumi when we were both sat crossed-legged on his bed that night, figuring a little salacious question asking would bond us, "Ha ha, are you one of those girls? I don't get the whole "hot dad" thing. They're just old.”

Figuring I had hit a sore spot, It was the last conversation we had about him, but it definitely wasn't the last time I thought about him. I always made sure to dress my best when I knew he was stopping by. Little dresses only a freshman would wear, low cut tank tops and once — when I was especially bored — a sheer white t-shirt with no bra underneath because, "whoops" I had just rolled out of bed.

It was a fun game to play but I didn't think he ever noticed, or at least he never really acknowledged me until one of those debaucherous weekends when ‘Gumi and his dad got their messages crossed and we all ended up at the lake house together. At first it was uncomfortable when we arrived and saw the trucks, Toji was there accompanied by some other men. They had planned a weekend for drinking. But, Toji gave us a wink and told us to stay on the lower level and he'd stay out of our way. Everyone felt relieved and told ‘Gumi how lucky he was to have a "cool" dad. But I felt something else when Toji winked at us.

That night, after many, many drinks I found myself wandering out to the dock. Everyone else had passed out, but I was wide awake. I saw Toji approaching me from the windy path down the hill from the cabin, two bottled beers in one hand. He handed one to me wordlessly, searching my eyes for something — the reason I was awake and alone maybe.

We stood there silently until he stepped forward and brushed my hair off my face, "You're a beautiful girl, (name), don't think that goes unnoticed" I blushed, could he tell I was harboring a crush on him? Did he notice the way I jerked slightly at his touch, nervous about my body's powerful response to it?

"Thanks Toji," I said, taking a swig of my beer and looking at the moonlight reflecting over the waves. When I dared to make eye contact with him again I realized he hadn't moved, he was still watching me intently. Did this mean — before I could finish my thought, he was on me, one hand placed very firmly on my lower back the other in my hair as he kissed me. His tongue was in my mouth before I knew what was happening, tracing mine. I had the urge to wrap my legs around him, but there was nowhere to balance on this dock.

"Come up to my bedroom" It was a request, but it was also a statement, he was sure of my answer.

I giggled when we crossed the threshold and closed the door behind us. It wasn't just that when he grinned and you could see the wrinkles around his eyes, it wasn't just the physical attraction. It was his demeanor, it was that he was a real live man, not a flimsy college boy. This was going to be a different kind of hook-up.

"You're married," I reminded him, not particularly pleased about remembering this detail myself.

"I can keep a secret," he said, closing his mouth on mine again, and backing us to the bed.

He removed all my clothing fairly quickly and laid on top of me, fully clothed. The rough textures rubbing against my bare skin felt incredible. "I’ve wanted this for so long," he rasped out. "I've waited for a very long time”

I wanted to prove that I was worth it, all this risk. So I reached up and felt him through his pants, staring longingly into his eyes. He pulled his shirt over his head as I unbuckled, unzipped, and released a very healthy looking cock.

I slid off the bed and onto the floor to get a better angle and he stood over me, gathering my hair behind my head as I started blowing him. I looked up at him and was rewarded with a face that was most definitely in ecstasy as I took him in my mouth.

He held my head down on his cock while I took him in deeply. This was a move widely hated by every woman I knew, but it was usually performed by dumb frat-type boys. But Toji was no boy, he knew what he was doing, he was looking out for me and making the experience short — just long enough to add a bit of excitement. When he pulled out of me he gave me his all too cocky grin and leaned down to kiss me, “I knew you'd be good at this”

He pulled me up and walked me over to a dresser placed underneath a large window. I could still see the moonlight on the lake as he bent me over it. Was it really just a few moments ago we were nearly strangers on that dock together? I was brought back to reality by Toji spreading my legs further apart and pushing my upper back down until my bare breasts were pressed against its cool surface and I felt him enter me.

"Oh my god..." I couldn’t help but moan as he thrusted into me. He shushed me by placing his hand over my mouth for a moment as he picked up speed. My moan was apparently too loud but he was willing to risk the loud sound it made as he slapped my ass over and over, groaning and filling me with his cock. I couldn't believe how turned on this was making me. I was no virgin but I'd never experienced sex like this — it wasn't awkward or embarrassing or rushed. I was very aware that I was getting fucked by a Man, not "fooling around" with a boy.

"Are you on birth control?" He asked and when I answered yes he cooed, "good girl, my good girl" The sound of that phrase coming out of his mouth sent me over the edge and I felt myself spasming around his cock as I released myself into my orgasm, even enjoying the sensation of a bit of extra liquid rolling down my thigh.

He was still thrusting into me rhythmically, alternating between kneading my breasts and grabbing — and slapping — my ass. I hadn't had sex last this long before and I loved being able to savor the feeling. "I'm getting close," he groaned and I tensed my body up, holding my place more firmly so that he could get deeper inside me as he unloaded his semen into me.

"You're so good at this, but I can tell you're just a beginner," He began as we laid on his bed to rest. I laughed, it was true. I had this fantasy about being a girl who gave amazing head and being really good at all the sex stuff, like some kind of femme fatale men couldn't resist. "I can sense you want to learn though” I nodded in agreement. I could play out this crush and learn what would drive my next actual boyfriend wild — who wouldn't want to kill those two birds with one stone?

And so, I began a year-long affair with Toji. We'd sneak away for a weekend when I said I was visiting my parents and meet at the lake house for lessons — how to stimulate differently for a long or a slow blow job, which positions let him get in the deepest while still providing some kind of external stimulation for me, how to prepare for and receive anal, how to lie with my head falling off the edge of the bed and allow him to push his cock into my throat (without choking). Occasionally I just gave him head while he drove me around, careful not to drive anywhere too well-lit or populated.

Now, how was I to tell Megumi?

—

Part 1 | 2 | 3

[braxlrose]

Hello! I really like your writing and I was wondering if I could request a bill x reader? It's where reader had a very rough childhood, with parents and stuff so they dont have a really good picture of love and gets confused about little nice things Bill does for them, like comforting and just being a good boyfriend, and can sometimes be like emotionally unavailable? But they really try with Bill and, yeah! Lmao, you don't have to do this and feel free to ignore!

omggg you're literally one of my favorite writers and I love this request because I really like writing angst bc there's so much emotion so ty <3

Also this is not proof read

cw: mentions of abuse (physical and verbal), angst, tell me if I missed anything pls!

Growing up was hard for you. Your father was barely ever around and when he was, he was completely hammered. You tried to stay away from him when he was like that, but it was hard considering you lived in the same house and he was always getting fired from jobs. Whenever you angered him, he'd take off his belt and beat you until you were sobbing. Then would pass out on the couch and act like nothing was wrong when he woke up.

On the other hand, your mother just never seemed to be happy with you. Always nit-picking on everything you did, the way you looked, the way you did your hair, your style, the way you talked, you were either too skinny or too fat; you just couldn't do anything right in her eyes.

You always tried your best to make them happy, just having the smallest glimmer of hope that they'd be proud of you for something. All your hard work at school or everything you did for your community. All the diets you went on for your mother. Cleaning up after your father. There was just nothing you could do.

You didn't understand why they were like this. Why did they have a child in the first place if all you did was "ruin their lives". You didn't understand love at all. Your mother said that she only does this because she cares about you, but if she cared wouldn't she want you to be yourself? No, of course not. You're either like her, or nothing. And that was that.

***

Then you moved to Magdeburg, Germany. Your mother was sick of her old apartment and your father was banned from all the alcohol stores in your town, so you had to move. Again. This wasn't the first time. You've moved 4 times in the past year because of your parents, you haven't lived anywhere long enough to make any friends.

You had moved into a small village and your mother was making you go over to the neighbour's for dinner. Your father was passed out somewhere so it was just you and her. She put your hair in a high ponytail and added "cute little pink bows". She always pulled too hard on your hair when she did it. You weren't allowed to leave the house unless you put on the pink, frilly dress she got you. You had to be "perfect" and "lady-like" or else no one would like you.

You slipped on your shoes and got pushed out the door by your mother. She had also plastered your face in makeup. Mascara, eyeshadow, lipgloss, all of that. You were fifteen years old for God sakes, why did she care so much?!

"You better not make me look bad in front of our new neighbour's, got it? I don't need your running your mouth like always." You nodded your head as she smacked the back of it, making you flinch before knocking on the door. You heard footsteps coming quickly to the door before a blonde woman opened up. A smile crept onto her face as she saw us.

(Its changing from third person to first person now!)

"Oh come in! Come in!" She said to us with a big smile on her face, ushering us in. My mother pushed me into the house, with a smile. The woman in front of us leaned down and waved, "Hi! You must be y/n! It's so nice to meet you!" I froze. What was I supposed to say? What if she got mad at my tone? What if I said something wrong? What if- I looked up as my mother nudged me on the arm, glaring into my eyes. don't be rude. she didn't even have to say anything for me to understand.

"Nice to meet you too!" I said to her, trying to smile but it just ended looking uncomfortable and awkward. She stood back up to her normal height and turned around, waving us towards the living room.

"Boys! Come down here to meet our new neighbours!" The woman shouted up the stairs as me and my mother sat down on the couch. She swatted my arm again.

"Stand up straight. Your going to make me look like a bad mother!" She whispered to me, giving me that icy cold glare she can never seem to get rid of whenever she looks at me.

Just then, two boys came stumbling down the stairs. They were obviously twins but looked very different from eachother. I turned my body back around when I heard then coming into the living room. I straightened out my back and looked at them with wide eyes.

"Woah, a girl." The mophead whispered. Tch, mophead. That's what he looked like. His dreads were all over the place.

"This is Mrs. y/l/n and y/n. They moved here today. Why don't you boys show y/n around the house?" They both nodded and smiled at me. This is where it all began. My friendship with Tom and Bill Kaulitz. It's been about 4 months since then and we all became good friends really quickly.

***

Me and Bill were walking through the park while tom was out doing God-knows-what. It was December already, so it had gotten really cold. We walked on some trails before Bill stopped us.

"What are you doing?" I asked, as he bent down on his feet.

"Tying your boots. You're gonna trip on them." My eyes widened as he leaned down. I'm just a fucking idiot I didn't even notice my shoelaces were untied. Who the fuck doesn't know that? Why didn't I realize? Am I actually that stupid? I could hear my mother's voice pounding in my head.

"Oh no! You don't have to do that, it's fine really! I'm just stupid, it's f-" he covered my mouth as he got it.

"Relax, I'm already done and I don't mind. Wouldn't want my favorite neighbour to fall face first into snow." He laughed and kept walking. Why'd he do that? He should've just told me to do it on my own, right? I don't need anybody to do anything for me. He should've just left it alone! What the fuck is wrong with hi-

"Hey are you thirsty?" What? What was he saying? I looked over at him when he stopped. We were back in town now, I hadn't even noticed.

"Hello?" He waved his hand in front of my face.

"Uhm..what?" I asked with a blank expression on my face. What was he saying? Why was he even asking me instead of just telling me? Isn't that easier?

"I said are you thirsty? There's a place just down the road that sells the best hot chocolate, you'll love it!" He said, grabbing my hand to bring me down the road. He wanted to get me hot chocolate?

"I don't have any money, Bill." He looked back at me and laughed.

"I'm buying, dummy. Why would I offer you something and then make you buy it? I'm not that awful." He joked, keeping my hand firmly in his. What. He wants to buy me something?

"You don't need to do that bill. I don't want to be a burden-" I sputtered out, not wanting him to do something he'd regret before he interrupted me.

"Burden?! You?" He stopped walking again and pulled me closer. Our faces were only a couple inches apart now and my hands were in his. "Y/n, you're my girlfriend. If I wanna buy my girlfriend a hot chocolate I'm gonna buy my girlfriend a hot chocolate, 'kay?" I was stunned. I don't understand why he's like this. He's too nice, people are gonna take advantage of that. Nevertheless, I nodded and walked down to where they were selling hot chocolate. Bill made sure to put extra marshmallows on mine. Why was he treating me like this?

We arrived back at his house and he pulled me down onto his bed with him.

"Jesus christ! Your hands are freezing, why didn't you say something." My hands? I guess they're cold. I hadn't noticed. Maybe they had gone numb half way through and that's why. Why did Bill care, they'd warm back up with time.

"It's no big deal Bill, I'll survive.." his eyes went wide like I had two heads.

"Are you insane?! No way!" He grabbed my hands and pulled me closer to him. He rubbed his hands onto mine and wrapped mine tightly in his. "Can't have your fingers falling off. I need someone's hand to hold." I smiled at me and wrapped the blanket around me. I laid my head down on his pillow and closed my eyes. My life wasn't supposed to be like this. I wasn't supposed to have a perfect boyfriend who gets me hot chocolate or warms up my hands for me. I don't deserve this. You don't deserve this. She was back again. She's always there. My mother sitting in the back of my head like there's a throne waiting there for her. Why were her words stuck in me like glue. I'm sick of her constantly belittling me like I'm nothing. But I am. I am nothing. Nothing at all. Just a useless soul that needed to fill an empty body and nothing mor-

"Y/n! Wake up! Are you okay?" Huh..? What was happening? I turned my head and looked outside. It was pitch black out. Had I fallen asleep? I turned back to bill and he looked like he was on the verge of tears. He had shaken me awake from my slumber. "Are. You. Okay?" He asked again, "you were mumbling and crying in your sleep. Did you have a bad dream?" I was crying? My finger tips reached up towards my cheeks. They were wet. I guess I was crying.

"I'm fine, bill. It was nothing." I mumbled and laid back down. His mouth was slightly agape as he crawled closer to me and engulfed me into a hug. He laid kisses all over my face. Why? Why does he care?

"You're not fine, and it's okay to be not fine! Just tell me what's wrong and let me help you!" He said to me as both of his hands caressed my cheeks. Help..me? Like I'm some charity case that needs fixing? I didn't need to be fixed. Yeah maybe I'm not perfect to my mother and maybe I have some fucked up issues but I don't need to be fixed. What the fuck was his problem?! Doesn't he understand I'm perfectly fucking fine!

"I said, I'm fine!" I shouted at him, shoving bill away from me and pushing myself off the bed. I'm perfectly fine and I don't need him telling me what's wrong with me. His head hit the wall by his bed and I could hear a crack. I broke his wall. I don't care. That's his fault. He should've backed off.

I heard him calling out my name along with a couple cries in between. I pulled on my shoes and stormed out the door. I don't need him or anybody or anything! I don't need him treating me like I'm some child who can't control her emotions!

That was 2 weeks ago. I hadn't spoken or even looked at him in two weeks. What was wrong with me? I hurt the only boy who's ever loved me. He probably hates me now. I'm the worst girlfriend in the entire world. Im the stupidest person. You're the most dumb, ugly, disgusting daughter who has ever been seen on this earth.

she's back.

I'm fucked up in the head and I don't know how to fix it. I want to blame my mother and father but it's not their fault, right? They care about me. It's my fault I'm like this. I don't know what I did to deserve this, but I have no one to blame but myself...right?

I was stuck sitting down in a chair while my mother poured goopy foundation onto my skin. We had to go to some classy town thing and I had to actually "look like a girl".

"Maybe if you were naturally beautiful I wouldn't have to waste my time doing this."

"Sorry mama..it's not my fault though..." She glared down at me and smacked the back of my head.

"You're lucky you have foundation on or I would've smacked the shit out of this disgusting face." She gritted between her teeth. Her words were like an awful, greasy poison dripping from her tongue. I hadn't done anything and some how I had made her mad again.

She shoved me into a long, cream colored dress and turned on the ignition. I leaned my head against the side of the door as we drove. Why couldn't I just be the normal, beautiful daughter my mother wanted? If there was a God, he had some serious explaining to do.

"Stop slouching! You think I want a daughter with bad posture?! My god! Can't you do anything right?" The speech. I've heard it a million times since I learned how to talk. How I can't do anything right and I'm just some failure who should've been aborted fifteen years ago. How I ruined my mother's life and how she was going to be a star if it wasn't for me.

It was a long car ride but we finally got there. And the event was even worse. There were so many people and the music was way to loud. I felt like crying. My hands were shaking and I couldn't stop picking at my nails. Women kept coming up and taking to me with their children. Friends of my mothers. I could guess by their judging stares. I looked lady-like and had good posture and was smiling. Why was I being judged, what am I doing wrong again? Why can't I just be normal? A normal girl who doesn't fuck everything up. Doesn't make her parents hate her. Doesn't ruin her parents lives. Doesn't make people feel awkward. Doesn't hurt their boyfriends.

And that was my breaking point. Tears flooded down my cheeks and everybody was staring at me. I stumbled away into another room and sobbed on the floor. I couldn't breathe. My hands hurt from picking at my nails and my face hurt and my body hurt and my eyes were burning and my makeup was surely ruined.

Everything is. I always ruin everything. What the fuck is wrong with me?! The one person who truly cared about me...i..I haven't- I hiccups against the wall and bawled my eyes out. The one person who truly, actually cared about me...I haven't talked to him in two weeks. Then I caught my breath. I stood up and wobbled to the nearest window. I pulled myself out of it and stumbled outside. My whole body hurt so I probably ooked crazy. I could feel mascara was running down my cheeks as I walked through the town.

My arms were freezing cold and I still felt like everybody was watching me. Their beady and judgy eyes staring me down like I was about to go crazy. Well, I guess technically they were right. I just started sobbing in front of everybody so I probably did look insane. You looked insane! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Can't you just act like a girl for once!? That's what my mother said me to in the 3rd grade after a play we did..

I finally got back to my house and looked up to the neighbour's house. Bills house. The light was on in his bedroom. He was awake. I turned back to my door and took a deep breath. I had to say something to him. Right? I had to make him believe I wasn't some crazy person who would push everybody away. Maybe that's what I was though..

I knocked on the door but nobody answered, so I stepped into their house. It was completely dark as I stumbled up the stairs to bills room. I looked at all the happy family pictures they had. God they were so lucky. So lucky to have a perfect family. A father and mother who love them. Having a twin must be great, it's like having a bestfriend for life, right?

As I stepped up the stairs I heard the door open. Bill must've heard me coming up. When he slowly looked around the corner I saw his eyes widen at my awful state. I guess I should've cleaned myself up first, I look a mess. My dress was torn from crawling out the window and my makeup was obviously smeared. I bet my hair wasn't too pretty either.

"Holy shit, y/n?!" He came down the stairs quickly and grabbed my arms, helping me up the stairs, "what happened?! You look...awful."

He sat me down on his bed and I didn't know what to say. I just stared at him. This perfect guy who loves me. I tried to open my mouth and say something but nothing came out. I guess he could tell I wasn't sure what to say because he went to the bathroom and grabbed some wipes.

"Here.." he kneeled down and began to wipe my makeup off. Tears slipped past my waterline as he comforted me. He just sat there looking up at me with a pity smile on his face as he cleaned me up. He took of my hands in his other hand and held it. He really was perfect. He saw him grab some lotion off his desk and rub it around my face after he wiped everything off.

"Come on, why don't we get you into some comfortable clothes okay?" I nodded at him and toyed with my fingers as he picked out some clothes.

I was laying in his arms now. His fingers were combing though my hair as I laid on his chest. I wasn't sure why he was doing this. Any sane person would've just kicked me out, right? I held onto bill tighter whenever he kissed my head and my cheeks. I cuddled up closer to him and nuzzled into his neck.

"I love you, y/n.." bill whispered as I dosed off into my sleep, breathing in his comforting scent and letting tears fall on his skin because he was the only person who was able to make me feel at home.

OKAY THIS TOOK ME LIKE 2 HOURS AND IT ALMOST GOT DELETED BUT THANK GOD IT DIDNT, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS!!

the end felt kinda rushed but I hope it was still good

taglist: @hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @dead-tapes @tokiiohot @bluepoptartwithsprinkles @saumspam

[brotherwtf]

Gale meeting John's family drabble bcs I'm obsessed with his family dynamic

----

Gale nervously wrung his hands together in the passenger seat of John's truck, only really looking up from the road when John would point to some obnoxious billboard or a funny looking bird. Gale would smile and nod, reply with a dry quip, and fall silent again. He usually wasn't like this.

John had told Gale that his mother invited them up to stay at their house for a little bit; wanted to see how they were adjusting to life post war and wanted to meet the notorious Buck Cleven. Gale had worried that John had let slip what they were, much closer than friends, but John assured him that she didn't know.

"She probably wouldn't even care. Poor old bird just wants to see me happy, all things considered," John had said.

And here Gale was, going to meet John's family and put on a good show of pretending to be friends. John mentioned that his mother was still alive, his father passed before he enlisted, and that he had two older sisters.

"Technically El is my twin, but she's fifteen minutes older and won't ever let me forget it. I'm the baby of my family," John says, turning onto a long gravelly drive that must lead to his family's property.

Gale smiles gently at the thought. John with missing teeth and a bright smile with equally bright sisters around him. Doting on him like Gale always did. Gale never had any siblings, lived only with his mother and father, and wished desperately that John's sisters liked him.

They pull in front of a charming ranch house and Gale smiles at how quaint it is. A modest two floor house painted a calming blue with pristine white shutters and a bright yellow door. Gale swallows thickly and his hands find each other again. John leans over into Gale's space, placing a hand on both of Gale's and kissing his cheek sweetly.

"Relax, Gale, they'll love you, I promise," John says.

Gale gives him a strained smile and sighs.

"What if they don't?" Gale worries.

John only smiles, eyes flicking to the sunny yellow door.

"Trust me, they like anything with a pulse. You might just have to be the devil incarnate for them to hate you. Speaking of..." John says, eyes now trained on the door.

It flies open with a whirlwind of brown hair and bright smiles. Two women scramble out to the truck, shouting at John and asking what took him so long. The one with longer hair practically yanks John from the drivers seat and sizes him up.

"Baby Bucky is decorated like a goddamn hero!" She crows and Gale smiles with how similar their cadence of voices were.

"I'm no baby, I'm a major!" John squawks and his sister just laughs, pushing his arm playfully.

"You're still a baby to me!" She hollars.

They both now turn to Gale, the shiny new object that John brought for them to play with.

"You must be Buck!" The other shouts with equal enthusiasm.

Gale had quietly gotten out of the car and was just observing John and his sisters catch up, when their eyes suddenly trained on him. He smiles nervously, afraid of being in the spotlight.

"Major Gale Cleven, ladies," Gale says, extending his hand out for a cordial handshake.

They both bat it away and bring Gale in for a hug anyway. God, they even smell like John did.

"My name's Jess, and that's El," The one with the long hair says, jabbing her thumb into her sister's stomach.

El laughs, shoving Jess away and they get into a playful slap fight that Gale can't help but laugh at.

"Pleasure to meet you both," Gale says, hauling his bag from the back of John's trunk.

El turns around and gives John a look of genuine surprise.

"How did you convince this sweetheart to mingle with the likes of you?" She balks.

John is by Gale's side now and throws his arm around his shoulder, bringing him in closer to his waist.

"Must be my stunning good looks," John beams and Jess almost throws something at him.

They walk into the house and Gale allows himself to take it all in. It's the perfect house for children, Gale thinks; large kitchen with a living room and a large radio on the windowsill. It's wallpapered with soothing colors and warmly lit. Gale genuinely liked the place.

"Gonna bunk with me, Buck?" John asks, wiggling his eyebrows obnoxiously.

El intercepts them before they get to Johns room.

"Nuh uh, you got Buck all afternoon I want to get to know him," El says, grabbing Gale by the arm and attempts to take him down the stairs.

Gale looks back at John and just shrugs his shoulders.

"Duty calls," He says, and John throws him a wink.

Jess and El give him a tour of the house and Gale compliments when necessary, making sure to turn the charm up to eleven. They walk into the kitchen and Gale is immediately hit with the scent of fresh cooked food. There are already dishes waiting on the counter and Gale is dumbfounded.

"Is this all for me?" Gale asks, and he can feel tears welling in his eyes. He had never been this spoiled in his life, not even by his family.

"Ma's even making you a pie! Jesus where is that woman, MA!!" Jess shouts, peeking her out out into the living room.

John's mother is clearly where they got all of their looks from, Gale still hasn't seen a photo of John's father so he can only assume, all of the girls are practically a carbon copy of her. She has pale, green eyes that crinkle with crows feet when she smiles, wavy brown hair laced with grey, and the same smile Gale has seen in all of the Egan children.

"I hope Elise and Jessica aren't giving you a hard time, come here darling," She says, voice quivering with age and arms extended wide.

Gale wraps a careful arm around her and almost cries at the feeling. His mother almost never hugged him like this.

"Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Egan. I thank you for letting me stay in your home," Gale says.

Mrs. Egan waves him off, pinching Gales cheek and smiling.

"Ah no Mrs. or Mr's around here, call me Anne," She says, and Gale does so with a smile.

The rest of the afternoon before dinner is El and Jess fussing around in the kitchen with their mother and John showing Gale the property. He kisses him every so often and Gale can't help but giggle; hasn't felt this happy in a long time.

"How you liking the family? They can be a bit much," John asks, linking his and Gale's fingers together.

Gale hums, looking up at the sky and smiling wide as ever.

"They're just like you, how could I not like them?" Gale says and John's smile gets instantly brighter.

They sit by the stream they wandered across and John decides to rest his head on Gale's lap. One of Gales hands lazily tangles in John's hair, massaging his scalp and just bathing in John's presence.

"Do your sisters know? About us?" Gale asks.

John shrugs shifting himself so he's looking up at Gale through wind swept curls. Gale smiles and wipes them away from his forehead.

"I guess they suspect. I would always talk to Jess about boys when I was younger and I think El is queer too, ran away with a girl from the Red Cross as soon as she could," John sighs.

Gale feels a weight get lifted off his shoulders, almost. John's sisters seemed too kind to care about such a trivial thing. But Gale wasn't quite ready to show their love to the world yet.

"Can we keep it quiet? Just between us? I want this to be all ours," Gale says.

John hauls himself up from Gale's lap and nuzzles his nose into his cheek, smiling gently at the way Gales lips turn up into a smile.

"Of course, doll. Just you and me," John says, and places a gentle kiss on Gales lips.

Later at dinner, El and Jess make jokes about marrying Gale themselves while John protests, claiming he found Gale first. Gale can do nothing but laugh and laugh, and he finally feels at home.

woah this was kinda long but I love Johns family (head in hands) they love Gale as much as John does 🥹🥹

[r0cket-qu3en]

90’s slash x reader but he is an vampire and she doesn’t know. they broke up months ago but he has been missing her like crazy, so he goes to her apartment to maybe get back together.

she invites him in, one thing leads to another and they are hooking up and during it something comes over slash and turns her bc he wants to spend the eternity with her….

idfk this idea just randomly came to my mind

i understand if you wont do it 😭

love your blog!!

a/n: broo, I'm sorry if it's late but I was super busy and i had no ideas I'm so sorryyyy. the smut is shit I'm sorry.

--------------------------------------------------

Vampire's Love

slash's one shot, smut

warnings: sex, unprotected p in v, biting, vampirism (?)

He missed you, there was no doubt about it. It had all started as a date with a groupie, one of many, but then it was simply more.

Sex soon turned into love and you often stayed up all night, with the help of coke, simply talking, maybe it was about your day or maybe why he had decided to become a guitarist, where his great passion was born. In short, you were good together.

But unfortunately fame complicated things, as always.

You didn't want to always have eyes on you, you didn't want the paparazzi always at your ankles, so you had to end that relationship, one of the best you had in a long time.

By now the months were passing, the leaves were falling from the trees and winter was approaching, you tried to occupy your mind with studies, friends and the beauty of the city of Los Angeles, and in a way it worked, even if in the darkest nights you couldn't help but think about what would have been, what could have been, but you knew that by now it was a closed story. Right?

It was just nine in the evening, you had just had dinner, the ramen wrapper still on the table and a movie you weren't paying attention to continued to play without anyone watching it. You had the blanket up to your neck and rested your head on a soft pillow, you were about to close your eyes, until you heard someone knocking on your door.

Reluctantly you got up to open the door and to your surprise there was Slash behind it, his long curls falling on his shoulders. He was wearing a leather jacket and a slightly dirty black t-shirt underneath, his blue jeans were wrapped around his legs and the only thing you could clearly see on his face were his full, dark pink lips.

"Can we talk?" He said, his voice hiding a bit of melancholy, even a little stress, but he was trying his best to be sweet, like he always was with you.

You were silent for a few seconds, trying to sort out all your thoughts. Why was he here now? What was he doing in front of your house? He smelled slightly of alcohol, and that answered a good part of your questions, but the 'why is he here?' still remained. You decided to let him in, even though you knew it probably wasn't the most logical thing to do.

"Yes, of course, come in." You answered and took a few steps back, so he could come in. He ran a hand through his black curls and closed the door behind him.

He looked up and looked at you, biting the inside of his cheek. He walked in and closed the door behind him, looking at the girl in front of him, and he felt himself getting hard in his pants. You guys talked for a while but soon the sexual tension was too much and what was supposed to happen happened: sex.

You were lying on the bed, his hands holding your wrists tightly on the mattress of the bed as he increased the speed, with each thrust. At that moment, the creaking of the bed, your moans and the sound of your skin slapping filled the atmosphere that was becoming more and more pleasantly warm.

His lips rested on your neck, leaving wet kisses when he felt he was hurting you, in an attempt to calm you down. The moment he came, you felt his teeth sink into your flesh, almost as if he wanted to tear it off. You tried to move but he held you still.

Slowly, slowly you felt your senses abandoning you, leaving you alone with the light tickle that the bite gave you and Slash's voice that gently accompanied you to sleep.

"Now it will be just the two of us. Forever."

[strdstd]

{I'm so unwell abt the idea of Boothill starting out as a sweet, honorable, peaceful kid, likely staying that way as he grew up, only to have a reason to start using his revolver. Said he first fired a shot at a bandit at a young age, likely before his teen years or early teen years. So, what if, someone was trying to rob the family home, so that was when Boothill first fired at someone. So he picked up the gun in the name of protection & swore to never recklessly use it. No wonder he earned his high status & grew to be an honorable figure in his home planet/town.

"He had narrowly escaped death, tasted the flavor of taking revenge on a rival gang, seen friends lose their lives in the flight of a bullet and seen families fall apart in mere moments… He lost many, yet gained a lot as well. In the end, his courage earned him status and respect."

Meaning he likely had a little gang of outlaws that I like to think he was the leader of, since during his part of the 2.6 quest, he was excellent at gathering people together for the final act & helping in organizing the whole thing with Robin and Micah.

He'd already suffered losses & enacted revenge, so he'd had a taste of both. And I can see him beginning to harden & toughen up the longer he spent out on bounties & train robberies & gang conflicts. Only for him to begin to soften when he found his daughter & gradually accepted that she wasn't just a child he found, she was well & truly his daughter. Displaying a certain gentleness his family surely teased him for. Leading to him showing a new restraint and more of a diplomatic approach to conflict, bc he had to make it home to her at the end of each hunt. He couldn't, shouldn't take risks or jump right into firing off at the slightest hint of an impending attack in order to make the first move.

And I could only imagine how he got when the IPC started to use force against his home, once again using his gun in the name of protection & defense. And then him gradually realizing how ruthless he's becoming in the name of protecting his home/family/friends. Realizing he was doing exactly what he should not be doing. Making his dads worry abt him after they've likely already lost others (esp with the implication of Boothil being the only one who still lives with them to this day in the same house), taking more & more risks in the possibility of getting even the smallest victory (no matter how pyrrhic each one ends up being), returning home all bloody and shaken. A haunted look in his eyes each time he catches his reflection in a mirror.

Only for all the pain and mental anguish to melt away as Graey finally lets him go upstairs, where he gets to hold his daughter at the end at the day. He always did, otherwise, she wouldn't be able to sleep. Their shared room may as well be the last place of safety, his own solace in this chaos, her being a light he clings so tightly to and fights tooth & nail for. No matter how damaged he gets, he will come back to her.

Only for it all to culminate in the entire loss of his loved ones, him going on the complete & utter war path ("it's like Nick said, 'revenge needs no excuses'"). Resulting in his recklessness beginning to take hold & the loss of his arm (a hc from the image we get of Boothill while he's under Profnana Primon's teaching during the 2.6 quest) during an IPC confrontation making him realize his human body won't be enough. And then there's the implied IPC torturing him-

The idea, too, of Boothill deciding a self-exile from his home as a form of self-punishment for failing his family/planet, viewing himself unworthy of calling himself Nick & Graey's son, knowing that they gave him the honor of upholding the homestead when they either retire or pass. And he failed them, failed everyone who looked up to him, who trusted him.Yet, if he calls himself anything, he's still his daughter's father.}

[khodorkovskaya]

im overwhelmed again!!1!1!!

sooooo. guess who died today! my other grandma! in two months i lost both my grandmas wtf!

and the thing is, i think i wrote about this on here when the 1st grandma died that i didn't have time to grieve. and i feel like in a way i still haven't. it's still so surreal to me that like she's gone. it feels like it's some kind of prank and she's gonna show up at my door any day now like "hahaaaa fooled ya!". she was just too lively to die! it's so unfair! she was always so full of joy and funny and optimistic and like it's so unfair, dying just doesn't go with her character, you know??

anyway. a couple of days after the death of this grandma (mother's side), my auntie (father's side) sent me photos of my other grandma looking very bad. and i didn't reply bc i really couldn't. and today my father messaged me that she passed away. so 1st grandma passed away on the 26th of september and 2nd grandma passed away on the 25th of november.

and this time i feel bad in a very different way. i loved the 1st grandma and was very close with her and we had literally discovered that she had cancer like a month or two before her passing, so it was a huge shock. whereas with father's side grandma, she's been ill for a very long time and i feel like i was more emotionally prepared for it. and plus i wasn't as close with her. and the thing that made me feel awful is that i have to call my father, right?? like i really don't. the best way i can describe this feeling is like... laziness..? like i just can't be bothered to call him, i already feel tired. and it's not great, bc like i should call him. but im just so tired. and throughout this whole day i felt this weight of like knowing that i was going to have to call him when i come home from work. and i still haven't called him. and it's just like weighing over me, but i keep procrastinating and it's the worst.

and then, completely unrelated, i wanted to go visit my bestie in london on the 6th of dec. and i asked for a day off today and messaged her a screenshot of the tickets i wanted to get. and she said that she thought i wasn't gonna come and she already has 2 guests over that weekend and her roommates aren't gonna like it probably. and she suggested i could stay at a hotel.

and like. hotels are expensive first of all. and i don't want to stay at a hotel. but then i was thinking maybe i could have more freedom/be more productive if i stay at a hotel. like i could actually visit london, instead of just hanging out at my bestie's. bc i can't say that ive really enjoyed the last times i visited bc i wanted to do things and not necessarily be tied to her...? but then idk, do i want to stay at a hotel?

and after work i went to my parents' house bc they needed my help with this financial aid thing we need to fill in, which is already stressful in itself because if we don't get this aid we're literally on the streets, i hate being poor so much. and i told my dad about the london thing over dinner and he exploded bc obvs going to london for the weekend is useless and expensive. and there is no point bc im literally going to chat with a friend, that's it, there is no other point to this trip. and ofc taking a plane for that is ridiculous and wasteful.

i was trying to rationalise it in my head by thinking that like the last time i took a plane was in like 2021 and i never travel. and i already took days off both my jobs for that particular weekend. and it's very stupid, but my colleagues talk about travelling all the time and i feel like ive wasted my youth bc we're poor. bc eveeeeryone at work is always like "im going hiking in america =D", "when i was your age i spend a gap year in vietnam =D", "what's your dream destination? =D". and im always baffled at these kind of conversations bc ive never left europe and sure, travelling is nice, but it's not a necessity. like i don't dream of travelling, i can live without it.

but still. i thought it would be a fun idea to go visit my friend for the weekend with the pocket money id saved up. like why not, right? i deserve a little treat and i already booked a cat sitting job for two weeks in december, so it's gonna be fine. and again, the last time i left the country was in 2021. my budget is very very modest, i don't buy clothes, i cook at home every day, i don't go out, like i live very frugally. and bc of this frugality i don't live life "to the fullest". im literally always at work or at home. so one small trip is okay, right?

but then dad started going on about how you shouldn't take a plane like you take a bus. and i totally agree. but come on. i haven't travelled in 3 years, i have the carbon footprint of a mouse idek. so his reaction really hurt. but then i understand that with his health condition, he is short tempered and it's not his fault. and the implications of his health condition are also very stressful to deal with. so it's okay, he can be mad at me all he wants, i know it's not personal.

but like come on! look at my life

2 grandmas died

dad with life threatening health condition that's deteriorating rapidly

poor

im so overwhelmed i just want to zone out for a little like chill on a beach somewhere or something. urghhh. inshala, i know this will pass and there will be better days. but all i want to do is just go on a massive road trip with my dad and share a beer with him and just laugh. and not whatever this is!!!

[atherix]

New au?👀👀

-🍂

HI I AM GOING TO COPY-PASTE EVERYTHING I WROTE TO BELLE WHEN I FIRST GOT THIS IDEA.

So quick background, Secondhand Lions is a movie about a boy who gets sent to his filthy rich great uncles for the summer by his mother who wants him to find the money, and one of the uncles tells him a story about their history/youth and they end up bonding with him and in the end the mother does the right thing for once and lets him stay, it's a great movie that admittedly has its... moments... that definitely Date™ it but it is to this day among one of my favorite movies.

Of course this wouldn't follow that like. At all. Except maybe vaguely. Just bear with me. Below the cut bc this is LONG. Keep in mind it's from DMs so it might be a little everywhere but ya know-

so anyway. Secondhand Lions but with Mumscarian.

The past; Grian, Scar and Mumbo were a team, an Avian, an Elf and a Totally Normal Guy™️. They were involved in a lot of stuff from the time of when they were young. Grian and Mumbo were childhood friends, grew up in the same village and everything, and were teens when they got dragged into war by the Mad King's attack on their village. They got involved in the fight and ended up on an adventure across the world, where they ended up meeting Scar who was, technically, part of the Mad King's court. They got him to switch sides and together, with allies, they defeated the Mad King and continued onto adventures, getting involved in the wars and civil uprisings they came across and basically liberating people everywhere. Of course, over this time, they fell madly in love with each other.

Unfortunately, as the years pass, Scar began to notice he himself wasn't changing at all- because he was an Elf. Grian and Mumbo had grown into men well into their 20s and 30s and saying Scar looked a day over 20 would be generous; he's an Elf, and Elves live for hundreds of years. Their aging significantly slows down the older they are, and it brings Scar to realize that he is going to greatly outlive the two men he loves. And, of course, the older Grian and Mumbo look, the more side-eyeing they receive when seen with Scar- and the more hostile/distant people become, the less welcome they are. Cue a series of misunderstandings, miscommunication and feelings of "I'm holding him back" from everyone, they end up splitting up. Grian and Mumbo stick together, of course, while Scar sets off on his own.

Cut to a hundred years later, into modern times; Scar thinks Mumbo and Grian are long dead, meanwhile Mumbo's Totally Normal Guy™️ syndrome has kicked into Eldritch mode and neither he nor Grian knows what happened but they're both still alive. They don't seek Scar out as they believe he must have moved on by now, and have settled down in the middle of nowhere in an old house with more money than they know what to do with.

Tubbo is 14 years old. He's Scar's son- I haven't decided yet if he's an adopted little faun/dryad or maybe Scar's bio Elf son in this world, but he's Scar's son and is being raised by Scar alone (no other parent in the picture, either abandoned or a result of a one night stand). Tommy is his best friend, and after the death of his older brother Tommy is being raised by his late brother's best friend, Schlatt (yeep). Schlatt is sending Tommy to live with his "uncle" for the summer (Grian being Phil's great great something great uncle) in the hopes of Tommy finding where Grian and Mumbo keep their money hidden. Tommy doesn't want to go but asks Tubbo to come with him since he's not being given a choice, and hesitantly Scar gives his permission (Tubbo argues it'll be just like summer camp, it's okay!) but on the condition that Tubbo writes him once a week.

Tommy and Tubbo get there, and though Grian and Mumbo are like- 40 max (in appearance), they live basically like they did a hundred years ago; no television, no internet, no phone service. Mumbo has his redstone devices, which Tubbo is fascinated by, and Grian has his flying course, which Tommy is enthralled with (Tommy is also an Avian), to entertain themselves. They also have communicators that only work with each other (Scar has one, too, but it's been in storage for decades at this point and he wouldn't even know if they did send him a message). Grian and Mumbo have no fucking clue how to entertain children and do a lot of age-inappropriate stuff (as in giving Tommy and Tubbo crossbows and letting them run wild in a training course they have in the back field, rather than handing them starter bows with soft-tip practice arrows and strict supervision lol).

Over this visit, Mumbo begins to tell the boys a story when they catch Grian in one of his Moods™️, where he's kind of stalking around the perimeter of their home and gazing out into the distance, as if searching for something. Mumbo explains that sometimes, Grian gets antsy and becomes very aware they're missing a member of their flock. He tells the story little by little- the story of adventure and friendship and love and the cruelty of time and people, but he uses the name he used to know Scar by which Tubbo doesn't recognize. As such Tubbo doesn't think to write about it in his letters to Scar.

Tommy convinces them to start buying shit with their money and they end up buying a lot of crazy shit, including some kind of beast I'm undecided about. Not a Warden ofc bc wardens are wardens, but some kind of hostile beast that Tubbo, with his general Faeness (either faun, dryad or elf jkfdsjk), manages to tame. Ofc he writes to Scar about all of this, and honestly Scar gets a little freaked out- what kind of sane people buy a hostile creature?? (Well. He knows at least one person who would have, but… he's been dead for so long….) He starts arranging things at his Aqua Town shop to go and check in on Tubbo.

Tommy and Tubbo have grown fond of Mumbo and Grian, thinking they're weird but in an endearing sort of way. Some shit happens with some of the locals in town but Grian and Mumbo deal with it, Tommy gets a letter from Schlatt giving him instructions on what to do when he finds the money, Tubbo is having fun taking care of his new pet, and in general things begin ramping up. Mumbo reaches the end of the story, where Scar chose to leave, and Tubbo questions why they just let him walk away (not knowing this was a century ago), which is when Grian finally cuts into the story and tells the teens that he and Mumbo are older than either of their grandparents, and Scar has long since moved on and mourned them as dead. Tubbo of course argues that they should have tried anyway, because if he's been mourning them and they're still here then how is that fair, if they still love him after all this time then what if he still loves them?? (Tubbo, thinking about his own father, who sometimes hints at having something he'd loved and lost once upon a time, choices he made that he regrets, things he wishes he could take back….)

Well, Schlatt shows up when Tommy's stopped answering his letters, and he's got a Plan™️. He starts to manipulate the townspeople and spreads rumors about Mumbo and Grian, and tries to get into Tommy's head, manipulating him and Tubbo (if Tubbo is adopted, this would be the moment he'd find out Schlatt is his bio father. If Tubbo is Scar's biologically then obviously not, bc I do not want to consider Scar and Schlatt having a kid together lmaoooo-)

Tubbo is kind of overwhelmed by everything happening now, between Schlatt and discovering he's currently staying with century-old Eldritch creature(s), and of course in his distress he turns to Scar. He runs off to town, borrowing a fancy shmancy communicator/phone and calling the shop. Unfortunately, Scar has already headed out by now, so the phone is answered by Cub, Scar's "right hand man" at the shop. Cub tells Tubbo Scar is probably halfway there already and all he has to do is wait.

Now, with his father out of reach, Tubbo thinks it's time to do the next best thing; tell Grian and Mumbo about what Schlatt is doing/planning. However, Tubbo and Tommy are both notoriously bad liars and Schlatt finds out. Tommy has by this point found the money but is keeping his silence, and Schlatt realizes when Tommy talks himself in a circle that Tommy knows where it is, so Schlatt- knowing the one thing Tommy really cares about is his bestie- decides to use Tubbo against him, threatening to hurt/kill Tubbo to get Tommy to comply (and, in the meantime, stopping Tubbo from telling Mumbo and Grian, who Schlatt has absolutely NO CHANCE at beating. Well, no chance at beating Grian, at least).

Scar shows up as Tommy is leading Schlatt (and Tubbo) to the money, and obviously there's a huge "what the fuck" moment when he comes face to face with Grian and Mumbo- which is quickly overshadowed by the whole "where are the kids" situation going on. Grian and Mumbo are shocked to discover Scar is Tubbo's dad (and in typical Misunderstanding fashion, assume this means they were right that Scar moved on), but don't have time to dwell on it when Scar insists the boys are in trouble, Tubbo had written to him about some of the very concerning things Schlatt was saying/doing and he doesn't think Schlatt should be left alone with the boys.

Of course like in Secondhand Lions, Tubbo's little beast friend saves the day, attacking Schlatt and giving Tubbo and Tommy the chance to run away at the cost of its own life. They meet up with Grian, Mumbo and Scar, and Tubbo has never been so relieved to see his dad. Grian goes to find Schlatt, who is already injured, while Scar and Mumbo check over the boys. In the end, of course Schlatt is defeated and is sent off with the parting warning that if they ever see him again they will kill him, and that he's lucky the creature got to him before they did.

Mumbo questions why Tubbo never mentioned he was Scar's son, and Tubbo says he didn't think it was important- which is when he finds out Scar was the third person from that story all along

Ultimately, of course, the story ends with Tommy wanting to stay with Mumbo and Grian, and Tubbo pushing for Scar and them to talk about everything that happened in the past and what was actually going on through their heads, and what they really felt and thought about it all. There's no immediate getting back together of course, but they do talk about it and stay in contact when Scar and Tubbo return to Aqua Town.

The epilogue is like 5 years later and ofc Mumscarian is back together and Tubbo and Scar have moved in and the property is just full of increasingly ridiculous shit. Happily ever after the end.

bonus content; Ren is the great great some-odd great grandson of both the Mad King and the Red King, both corrupt monarchs that Mumscarian fought against. BDubs was the right hand of the Mad King, ofc, and is very Fae like Scar, but he moves on with Cleo- another member of the Mad King's court who's still somehow alive- and eventually Etho joins them. Martyn is, unsurprisingly, Just Some Dude descended from the Red King's right hand, and is very much in love with Ren. There might even be a bit of a reincarnation thing going on there, but hey- who knows :)

Bonus:

[weepylucifer]

i try to keep it light n breezy on here, but i think i need to write some shit down somewhere. so here is a dreary little tale

so in august of last year, i had covid. it felt like a two-week-long flu, but then it was over. a year ago FUCKING PRECISELY, the Problems started. i went to multiple doctors, but no one paid me any attention, and i was told not to make a fuss, everyone was having post-covid these days, and it'd all go away by itself. further, in a breathtaking display of shittiness, my dad told me to stop being selfish and burden my mother (who, after all, has actual problems!) and himself with my shit. so i gave up. i tried to go on with my life as if nothing had happened, to get a job and finish college, and hoped that the Problems would indeed go away by themselves.

since then i have sat by and watched my body get weaker and weaker and it scared the shit out of me, but there was literally no one who would listen to me or believe me. i lost what little endurance i started out with until i couldn't make the 10-minute walk to the grocery store without almost passing out. i did faint in the grocery store, actually, and i just went home and told no one bc they would have just told me it was my fault, that if i exercised, or kept a proper sleep schedule, or what the fuck ever, i would be in the bloom of my health. for a year now, randomly, my heartbeat goes weird. i started getting dizzy spells out of nowhere with no apparent cause. i live alone. i was frightened all of the time of the day i'd just not manage to take care of myself anymore. i was convinced that if i asked my friends or boyfriend for help, they'd believe i was lying too. i had no idea what was going on with my body. post-covid can, it looks like right now, manifest any fucking symptom ever, which means it could also be anything else.

because the dizziness was getting so dire i barely dared to leave the house anymore, i decided to try seeing my gp again. this time they discovered i'm so fucking anemic it's like a dracula stole half my blood away. after i was Urged to go to the hospital, i arrived at an ER bursting with people and naturally presumed i'd have to hang around for a couple hours, but after i showed them my blood test results i was absolutely Rushed into observation. i got an iron transfusion and am on several new meds as of last week.

today there was an article in the paper (yeah, my parents still subscribe to the local paper) on the one dude in this area who treats post-covid. it lists every symptom that i have. it also says that apparently somehow covid fucks with whatever it is that makes red blood vessels. this could have been explained to me a year ago. it wasn't. i had to let it get exceedingly bad to be deemed worthy of help. that doctor doesn't even have a solution yet. just "eat beets, take walks, and exercise a bit but not too much". i still took the article and put it in my journal bc it's the first thing i've seen in a year that has validated me.

so here i am. my health is in the toilet. i am an absolute twitching anxious mess. even if everything goes perfectly with the new meds (which it rarely does for anyone, does it) it may take weeks or even months until i get to just feel normal again. i still get dizzy every day. sometimes i have a hard time focusing on reading or writing. i can't work. i can't do anything strenuous for fear of passing out. i'm staying with my parents because i'm not sure, if i went back to my apartment, if i could manage to keep myself alive. i haven't seen my boyfriend in weeks. there are friends i'm not meeting, ladies i'm not going on dates with, parties and other events that i'm missing. every time i have to text someone saying i'm not well enough to go out quite yet, i'm afraid they'll get tired of my shit and stop contacting me. my life is basically on hold until further notice.

and there are still people who have been hit way worse by post-covid than me. i am at least not bedridden, and i still have my sense of smell and taste, and it seems like my symptoms can be improved. i'm not saying this to self-flagellate, i'm saying it because it's ludicrous how callously the whole disease gets treated. people want covid as a whole out of sight and out of mind so that we can all be such productive little cogs in the capitalist machine and act like the pandemic is over. tons of people are still catching it. others will never be the same from the aftereffects of it, and there straight up is no cure for that. like what is fucking wrong with us as a world that we consider that acceptable collateral damage. for what, even? just so that we can continue avoiding taking stock of the current episteme that Does Not fucking work for most of us in the first place? just so that somewhere, for the gratification of someone, line go up? why was it so important for us, a year or so ago, to reestablish this figment of normalcy when, again, what was normal was already not working out?

[lorianbladeoflothric]

Elden Ring Oc Lore Dump

I've got quite a few characters kicking around in my mind, and I just realized the only place I've ever written anything about them is a bunch of scattered notes in a discord server so. Here's something more organized! (Under the cut bc there's like 5 of these guys so it's long)

Nyla and Astrid They're kind of a package deal. A pair of Tarnished who met by chance and have decided to take the Elden Throne as a team! At least...that's what they say. The reality is less wholesome

Nyla was once a Cleanrot Knight who died of Scarlet Rot some time after deserting during the battle of Caelid. Though she was cured of it upon resurrecting, it still affects her mind pretty badly. When Astrid found her, she was graceless. She wandered aimlessly, confused and aggressive, with no memory of her past except her name and some fighting techniques. She was happy to be given a purpose and through their travels, her bubbly personality and some of her memories have returned.

Astrid is a coward, and worse, a schemer. She's been disowned from her warrior clan in the badlands because of it. But whatever, she's here now and she's here to become Elden Lord and ideally not die trying. But as someone who isn't good at fighting and tragically can't rely on her spirit summons all of the time, that doesn't seem possible. Enter Nyla, a tarnished who can't become Elden Lord, desperately needs something to fight for, and, well, is kind of a dumbass. While traveling together Astrid becomes less shitty, and the two build an actual friendship, but it very much does start as her wanting someone to do all the fighting for her.

Primrose Morne

Another Cleanrot Knight. Prim is the bastard daughter of the pre-shattering Castellan of Morne (which means it's technically not her last name, but she uses it out of spite) and Finlay's childhood friend. Her mother was a servant of Castle Morne who died when Prim was young. Her only wish was for the girl's father to care for her, a wish he granted by hiring Prim as a maid to "earn her keep". In her time serving her father's house, she befriended some of the Misbegotten slaves, coming to think of them as family. Eventually, Prim heard about the Haligtree and set out on a journey to it with her adoptive siblings. There, she would become a Cleanrot knight. (Though she arrived a couple years before Finlay, they both got knighted in the same cermony, due to Prim’s lack of battlefield discipline and Finlay’s tryhard-ness)

Marion Marais Marnie

Another cleanrot knight! Marnie says she’s an orphan from a house of no renown, and that she used to be a perfumer. As such has quite a bit of knowledge on medicine and poisons. She's very soft-spoken and proper, but is oddly fixated on her Lady, some would say beyond how a loyal knight should act. She’ll fight anyone who she feels is insulting Malenia.

Her prized possession is a locket she recieved from her father shortly before he passed. And if it was in the game, this would be the description. Healthy Child's Heirloom Raises dexterity and faith at the cost of immunity. The heirs of house Marais are sickly born, but their daughters are spared the affliction. While her brother worshipped from afar, Marion pledged her life to their goddess, taking up arms in her name.

Elizaveta, Melancholic Mother

A Tarnished that has risen to the status of Sanguine Noble. In her previous life, she was married into a noble house in Leyndell and treated very poorly. Her husband wasn't physically abusive (at first) but it was clear that she was only there to give him children and was otherwise meant to stay silent and be pretty. Things went well for her once she became pregnant with her first child....until he was born an Omen. Despite his curse, she wanted to keep him and desperately cried out to be able to at least hold him as they took him away. Her husband's family considered her to be cursed after that, and her inability to provide an heir afterwards was all the reason they needed to have her killed so they could keep their reputation. When she awoke as a tarnished, she was easily swayed to join the bloody fingers by the promise of unconditional love and the opportunity to see the order that stripped her of her happiness and son burnt to the ground.

I kinda wanna make an oc for most factions in Elden Ring bc it just sounds fun and I'd probably get to know the lore better that way, but for now it's just these girlies (i...should make my next one a dude probably)

[that-one-cat-meow]

No matter if you want it or not, here you have a backstory from BATCM

Bcs... this AU wasn't on my blog very long time

But whatever

I tell you about the backstory of Ink Demon bcs... why not?

So

The story starts in real world. Not in studio, in real world. Sea, Ink Demon's father, was cheating on his partner, Silver. He had a kitten with his other lover, Fang (that was the Ink Demon). When Silver found out Sea was cheating on her, she yell at him, Sea went away, and Fang stay with Silver.

She wasn't a good mother for him. She mostly cares about her own kits. But Fang didn't mind. He found a farm with other she-cat that was named Blacky and go there for food or if he want to talk.

But one day Blacky, as an old cat, dies. So Fang went away from his "familly". He know something about hunting from Blackie. When he was in forest and hunt his first mouse, the mouse attack him, leaving a scar on his eye. He walk through the forest until he find a group of cats - Snow, Lake, Daisy, Sand and Storm. The cats show him the town, then how to find food and leave him alone.

But Daisy was still looking for him if he feels good. So they became friends. After week, she and Fang walk to the end of town. Daisy told him about her past, then walk with him to mountains.

When they almost got there, Fang and Daisy was attacked by two cats. Rock fall on Daisy tail and she lose it, so Fang get angry and told her he will make the two cats pay for what they did. And when Daisy was asleep, Fang find the cats, make them run after him... right to the house with two big dogs. And watched the dogs killing the two cats, not even trying to stop it or telling himself he make this revenge little too brutal.

Passing a bit through the story, two cats had a familly that start to run after them. In the forest Fang tell Daisy he love her, then hide her in the cave and start to run himself from the cats group. He try to hide in the studio, but a cat named Melody catch him right after he enter the studio and kill him

No, it's not the end of this story!!

Fangs soul get trapped in the studio. He never belong to it, so the cats living in Forest of Souls can't do anything to him and he can be in Forest of Souls and explore the studio. One day, he finded a cat trapped in room by his creator. His name was Bendy. Fang was learning him to fight, then Bendy get free from the room and went to kill his creator.

Suprise, Fang found Bendy dead in Forest of Souls. Bendy was running away from the cats that want to make him a real soul, so Fang help him get to nice Lost Souls that treat him like king. But Bendy then find Fang and ask for help to get to the Sky Hole - the portal that can take him back to the studio.

When Fang and Bendy get there, Fang said Bendy had to pay for his help, then jump on him, grab his paw and went through the Sky Hole together, making Fang enter Bendy body, but looking a bit different. The cats in studio was scared of him and call him Ink Demon, and when he heard about it, he likes it and decide this is his name now.

After some time, he got his followers and create a Kingdom of Darkness.

Then Henry get back to the studio and there was Big War

After years, Wilson, the cat that want to take control over the studio, lock the Ink Demon and torture him, to make him said Wilson is now king of Kingdom of Darkness. But no matter what, Ink Demon didn't do that. Also, when tortured, Bendy get separated from him and now have his own body after making deal with Jikan.

Audrey came to studio

One night, Alpha, one of Ink Demon best warriors, help him escape. He then was Ink Demon from BATDR (he didn't change much, he just got less fur, was taller and got lot of scars. And lose one his ear).

Then was another Big War, blah blah blah...

And... I think there is where story ends :I

Audrey take Bendy, cycle continues...

So... write to me what you want to hear about next and... if you acctually want to. This can be about characters, kingdoms, or things like Big War... You can also send asks

Okay bye

I will take a bath now-

[zhengzi]

Talk about..... 16: ...the best party you’ve ever been to! and 26: ... things you do when you're sick!

16 Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to.

oh boy best party I've ever been to... a couple comes to mind. I definitely only really experienced a proper party when I started living in Vancouver from 2018-2020, it felt like i was in a college film, especially with the red solo cups since i've only ever seen them in films lol

a few parties coming to mind are my friend's birthday party at her place in like 2019, the parties during the student newspaper annual retreat on a remote island off the coast of BC (also in 2019), and the little parties I'd have with my roommates in 2020

so at my friend's birthday party, a couple of mutual friends were also there, one of them being one of my best friends to this day that I still keep in contact with. it was a little overwhelming so i didn't meet too many new people that night, but i did end up striking an extremely long conversation with someone i knew in passing from the dorm musical production that i actually met the birthday friend through. it really felt like my first proper college party and it was a nice time. i did get way too high towards the end of the night tho since i was both smoking joints and took an edible halfway through, i went back with my best friend and i was so paranoid about not being able to make it back to my place lmao

now for the student newspaper retreat, they had this thing where they would skip class on friday and basically fuck off to a remote island off the coast of BC for the weekend and we all stayed in this one house that was very remote with the nearest grocery store being a car ride away on the island. i was also dealing with a very serious crush on a coworker who was also on this trip at the time, so i was kinda suffering a bit as well. i slept on the couch in the house. anyway, we mostly chilled during the day, but we partied hard at night. now i didn't really drink so i was probably one of the very few people to stay sober (edit: ok i wasn't totally sober, i got high instead lol), while everyone else got really drunk. i played games, we all fucked around, someone did pass out. it definitely felt like i was in a college film. i think the enjoyment i got from this was kinda feeling like an anthropologist just being intrigued by witnessing an actual north american style rager, all of the tropes were there basically

now the little parties with my roommates in 2020 are my actual favourites, im still extremely close friends with one of the roommates to this day and i consider them a platonic soulmate. now the parties were smaller since it was during the pandemic so it was roommates only, but those were the parties that i actually enjoyed myself and didn't feel self-conscious about and didn't feel like an observer. we played board games, video games in the basement, i had a charcuterie board for the first time, we celebrated halloween together, we made apple pie once and my friend taught me how to dance in the kitchen. we'd also get high. these are the parties that i still think about fondly and would never want to forget

26 Talk about things you do when you’re sick.

well when im sick, i usually lay in bed a lot. i'd probably also have a soup or porridge of some kind as well. i also drink a lot of fluids. i don't do much tbh lol other than rest a lot and maybe watch stuff when im not sleeping

[talk about ask game]

[skoff-the-artist]

Hi :)

Since it's New Year, I wanted to share my story with you. This post is pretty personal to me. Just beware. It's heavy. I will be telling you some important stuff in the end tho :)

TW for everything (I tried to avoid graphic details but my life is graphic, so) but this is a story with a happy ending!

2022 was rough. My English knowledge wouldn't be enough to describe how rough it was. This year started off..not good. I was depressed and tired after a really heavy December of 2021 during which I was preparing for the finals and supporting my grandma while my mom was in the hospital (she was suspected of having cancer but everything ended well).

The only hope I had was for the spring to come and sun to shine and let me enjoy things. I dreamt of green, of blue, of warmth of the future and it was the only thing that got me through January and almost the entirety of February.

Maybe you know, maybe you don't, but I'm Ukrainian. So the happy 2022 spring never happened. I live in the eastern region, 40km from the border with russia. 24.02.2022 I woke up at 5AM from the explosions that have shaken the glass in my windows. My mom told me "Pack up your things, the war has started". Good thing I prepared everything few days before. It wasn't shocking. I just accepted it as the logical continuation of all the shit I've been through.

We moved downtown to grandma's flat from the outskirts where we lived. First night I slept in the cold underground train with many people just like me. Scared. Artillery shelling didn't stop. I moved to live with my friend's family few blocks away from my grandma's flat, where my mom stayed. Our city was getting destroyed. We've seen it, heard it, felt it. The ground shook nonstop. It was terrifying. It was dark at night: light in houses wasn't allowed so the enemy bombers won't see the city from the sky. They saw. We heard bombs fall on us every night. We couldn't sleep, so we slept 1-2 hours between shellings during the day. On the floor, of course, so the glass from the windows won't hurt us if it was to blow up from the blast wave.

We (me and two of my best friends) quickly accepted our deaths, so we made jokes all the time. We were laughing hysterically when the bombers flew over the house bc "what, you have no hobbies? Fly away and dо something, bitch!". When it was artillery, we covered our ears up and sang, laying face down on the floor. I turned the music on my phone up. We hoped that if someone has to die today, it wouldn't be us.

Dozens of civilians died daily. In their own houses, in their beds, under the rubble.

My grandma died of stress on March 1. Our small family became even smaller. I felt numb. Me and my mom fled to another city on March 4. Two of my friends stayed in our hometown and third one fled to Poland.

It was snowing when we left.

And so the spring began.

I can't remember much from that time. In the new city it was.. quiet. Bright at night. Peaceful (almost, as there still were some rocket hits during my half year stay). I didn't feel like I belonged. Kids were laughing on the streets, grocery shops were full with food. And there was I. Alone. It didn't felt like my soul was in pieces, it felt like it was dust.

I read news. Seen horrific photos of familiar buildings turned to some stone and dirt overnight. It was so so painful. It changed me as a person, really. I didn't notice passing of time, just existed from day to day. Tried to keep up with school, did some assignments on autopilot. I didn't even cry.

And I still had to finish school and go to university.

Somewhere around April, when I started to catch up on life again, I got back into Transformers. Now I had plenty of time to watch, read, draw and think so I did just that. And it brought me comfort. During May I finished reading Lost Light, created my first Tumblr blog, graduated in fcking Zoom celebrated my 17th birthday. I allowed myself some hope. As funny as it sounds, Transformers healed me in a way! I heavily associate myself with the characters, who had to go through war, who saw their home getting destroyed but still value morals and their friends. Summer was calm, although my hometown suffered from shellings everyday. When attacks stopped for a bit, I visited my home twice. During my first visit I met my friends and went to school to greet my teachers while my mom collected some stuff from our flat. During my second visit I cried in my own room for the first time in months and nearly died an hour later when our bus got under the shelling but despite this I was happy because it still was MY city, familiar views and familiar people.

Back into our temporary flat in another city, I often went to feed the seagulls on the cost of the river Dnipro. I stargazed at night, looking for constellations. I found peace in those little moments. I also drew A LOT. And loved every second of it. Really helps to get that heaviness of your chest. You helped me, too. Your support of my work surprised me! Many people were interested in my AU, it was unexpected, but quite nice :)

And during the summer I learned how to genuinely smile again. I lacked one thing – my home.

I got accepted into the academy's of arts and design! I found two new friends! In September our troops cleared the area around my city, so the artillery shellings stopped entirely. And closer to the October I MOVED BACK BABY. It was my own choice and I don't regret it. My mom supported me, saying that life can't be put on hold, and if you have to be at home in order to live, then so be it.

I CAN FINALLY REST ON MY OWN BED, SIT IN MY OWN CHAIR, LOOK OUT OF MY WINDOWS (one of which was broken bc our apartment building got hit twice during shellings) AND MEET MY FRIENDS FREQUENTLY. And, what's important, I still can draw. I'm so grateful for this.

Learning process started. I am constantly tired, not of drawing but of the quantity of the assignments I have to finish. My sleep schedule got fucked up really bad. I suffer from PTSD, I'm scared of loud noises, I developed a deep hatred inside of me during this year, my life is one huge reminder of what I have to live through daily, missile strikes never stopped, and because of that we often have no electricity nor water, I wake up from distant explosions at least once a week, war still rages just around the corner.

But.

I'm a fighter, bitch!

And IDC. My city is actively getting rebuilt, shops reopen, public transportation works as good as ever, streets are clean. I still enjoy things, laugh, meet my friends, colour my hair (I'm a redhead rn!), sleep with plushies, listen to music, read comics, think about something new I could draw and post, go outside, cry reading optiratch fanfiction, do my nails and LIVE. Maybe I'm not as happy as I could be but I'm still here, with you. I'm alive.

Transformers grew close to me because there's so much I have to tell you through the characters that I love. I understand them and I feel like they could understand me if they were real. And if you understand them that means you can understand me, too! I value it over anything else.

Before 2023 starts I want you to know. Not everything means to be restored. But if something is to be restored, it will be. Wounds heal. There always will be people who'd understand you and love you for who you are. Bad things will end eventually, even longest wars always ended. Value everything you have, every breath is precious, every quiet night is priceless. Look at the night sky more often. Unite with others, spend time with your family and friends. Keep living!

As you reading this, I'm celebrating New Year with my friends.

Google "Kharkiv", it's a beautiful place.

[the-fire-might-be-shooting-at-us]

I'm sorry you have to deal with the billy stans. I tried once, but they wouldn't listen to a word I say.

Like when I brought up that Max was verbally abused they twisted in a way that because she yelled at Billy and drugged him she was also an abuser who was on the same level as his dad because she used the words Neil used on Billy. However, they really close their eyes at how Billy also uses those words at Max (the Say It and Understand part). They also ignore the context. She had to watch Billy almost kill a guy. What should she have done? Talk him out of it. Drugging was her saving Steve and Billy because he would have murdered him.

Him threatening Max in the car earlier in the season was after Max expressed that she liked it here and it was Billy's fault for them to move, he then had to intimidate her by driving recklessly (putting her in danger for funsies) and wanting to run over a bunch of kids so he has control over Max again. If that isn't abused, idk what is. Or when he broke her skateboard after he found out Max hung out with Lucas at the arcade. It's implied he does this quite often, idk if this is normal sibling behavior, lol. Max even confides to Lucas that Billy takes out his anger on her, but his stans ignore it. She literally cried in front of him, which is big because Max is very closed off.

Also, the way they shit on Steve at the Byers house. Like Steve only lied because Max was terrified of getting hurt by her brother. I could even imagine Lucas begging Steve to do something because he knows about the situation, and he would have picked up on the racist undertones Billy gave him. To say Steve lied for no reason and was in the wrong idk, he didn't want Max to be hurt. Billy would have done something to her. He held in his anger the entire time waiting to explode, and Max already told us she would receive it. Billy didn't care about her he only cared to get her home so he could stay out of trouble. So Steve got Billys anger full unleashed and yeah me may have thrown the first punch (after Billy threatened Lucas and pushed him violenty in a cabinet), but after he was knocked out, Billy never stopped. Some even say Steve deserved it, which is like okay?? But then ship h*rringrove at the same time.

Also, Billy isn't even redeemed in my eyes he never made amends to Lucas and Steve. Maybe he treated Max better, but he still wasn't sorry about his behavior towards Lucas. Max had every right to have complicated feelings about his death. I think that was the thing s4 got right. Her not being able to open up to Lucas or Steve because Billy hurt them, so she retreated and pushed them away. She knew her friends hated her brother because he was awful to them. So she felt like she couldn't tell them she missed him or felt guilty for gis death. At the same time, she felt relief because he couldn't harm her anymore, which also made her feel guilty because that's still her brother.

I get why he acted the way he did, but that doesn't give him a free pass to do whatever. I have a friend who relates to Billy, like she also acted it they way he did, but she never makes excuses for him. She can recognize his faults. Billy needed help, which he sadly never got, that makes him tragic, but he also hurt people along the way, and they also have every right to critique his behavior. Same with people watching the show, they should be allowed to discuss it in a way without others coming for them and harass them (especially if you tag it accordingly).

I'm sorry this is kinda long, but you can't say this on here, or you will be hunted down and ridiculed. (Also, you can totally ignore this if you don't want to have this discourse anymore)

No bc you're so right I'm just so over Billy that I can't be bothered to add more.

Perfectly worded, I find Billy an interesting character for sure, because the abuse cycle, the patterns of trauma infliction, it gives a new perspective to how abuse affects people.

The Billy stans excusing his actions just ruins this take for me, and it also just feels like a further insult on Max and Lucas's characters.

Also the Hargrove stans are by far the most unnecessarily aggressive, toxic, and illogical, and I've seen the twitter Steve vs Jonathan discourse.