#and it took me having to work at 5 am every morning for him to finally fucking cave in to give me lessons again

[onlymexsarah]

Burning Flames VII || Eris Vanserra

Pairing: Eris Vanserra x Archeron!reader Summary: Since you became High Fae there were only two things that scared you: your deadly power and your attraction toward the male you should hate most after Tamlin, Eris Vanserra. Warnings: Suggestive, violence, mention of blood, language and my english :) A/n: Two updates in the same week?! I am really enjoying my free time :) It's a bit shorter than the previous ones, but I promise it set the space for the more to come ;) Let me know if you liked it and if you want to be added to the taglist🫶🏻 Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3- Chapter 4- Chapter 5 - Chapter 6

You gasped for air as you woke up. Darkness surrounded you, but this time you knew where you were, you knew what you were supposed to do.

"Everything alright?" the shadowsinger asked from his spot against a tree.

You had decided to take turns while you slept, and now was Azriel's, which told you that you were about to start moving again.

Your eyes slowly found his, unsure on what to say in order to not sound crazy. You had been in Eris' head. You had actually talked to him, and you had always been right, he was under the Crown's control.

You gulped as the first light of the morning came into view. "I talked with Eris." you started slowly, not wanting to wake Cassian who was snoring few feet beside you. "The bargain we made had created some sort of bond, and with our proximity I slipped in his dream. He is under Briallyn's control."

Azriel's silence was louder than any other sound. He was the male who could see things that others couldn't, and if there was someone who would believe you it was him.

"How do you know it?" he quietly asked as shadows moved all around you, probably checking if anyone approached while you two talked.

You gave him a little shrug. You actually knew so little about everything that you had to keep up. "Every night since we arrived I dream this fog that forbid me to think, to move and to speak. This night was different, I was me, and in the middle of the fog there was Eris. Since I was Made the Crown doesn't have effect on me, and I was able to free Eris from its grip for a while." Gods, did you sound delusional? You were sure of what happened, you were sure you were right, but the male in front of you had every reason to not believe Eris' innocence. "Believe me, Azriel. Please. He warned me that she is controlling him, and we should run away."

Actually he told you to run away, he hadn't really cared to acknowledge the two Illyrians' warriors presence, but you thought better before specify that tiny detail.

"We move now." The shadowsinger nodded and took a stone from the ground. You rose an eyebrow at him, confused by his action. He only gave you a smirk before launching it toward Cassian, hitting his leg. The General rose to his feet with his blade in hand, looking for an invisible threat. "Rise and shine, it's time to go."

As soon as you stopped your laughter the tree of you started to follow the caravan again, this time you had a clear goal in mind: take Eris away from Briallyn.

When you entered the low-lying forest a strange feeling grew inside you. "I don't like this place." you murmured to Azriel as you landed near the lake where the party had stopped. "It's feel cold, wrong...like something ancient had put its roots here."

Cassian was quick to walk behind you, while Azriel took the front, shielding you with their bodies. You walked silently before stopping behind a tree and observing the scene in front of you.

There were twenty people, a mix of soldiers and nobility. You looked for the redhead, but its stallion was hitched to a branch, and he was nowhere to be seen. Anxiety started to build in your mind, what if Briallyn had taken him somehwere else? What if he had- "Over here, Cassian."

You quickly turned on your feet, his voice working like a siren song over your entire body. Eris was there, alive, breathing, smirking, and with a knife at Cassian's ribs.

You hold your breath as Azriel stilled beside you. "I knew you were a lying bastard." Cassian said through his teeth. "But this is low, even for you."

There was nothing you could do, not when Eris had Nesta's dagger right at Cassian's ribs. A move and the General would be slashed in two, and you had no idea how you would explain it to Nesta.

"Honestly, I'm disappointed in Rhysand." Eris said. "He's become so bland these days. He didn't even try to look into my mind."

You could feel a presence, somewhere around you. You knew you were being watched, and you knew that Briallyn must be close enough for her to give Eris' orders.

"You can't win this." Azriel warned with quiet menace. "You're a dead male walking, Eris. Have been for a long time."

Everything was about to go down if you didn't do something. Even if Azriel believed that Eris was under the Crown's control he wouldn't hesitate to kill Eris in order to help his brother.

The only problem was, you wouldn't allows him to do such thing.

"Let him go, Briallyn." you growled as you clenched your fits, flames bright around them, ready to strike. "It's me you want, come out and play."

Eris slid away the Made dagger from Cassian's ribs, freezing on his spot as a withered, reedy laugh came from behind him. "You'd be surprise by how many want you, Y/N Archeron. It's quite the prize you have on your head."

A hunched, cloaked figure come out from the shadows, standing right beside the male you were desperated to reach for. You needed to get her away from him so that Cassian and Azriel could grab him and fly away.

"High Lords, dark sorcerers, queens..." the cloacked figure kept talking. "Everyone want you."

The flames in your hands grew brighter, and you had to hold every piece of control you possesed to not look toward Eris. "Can't wait to meet them. I'd hate to disappoint. "

She laughed coldly, and a shiver run throught your body. Was she already using the Crown on Azriel and Cassian? Were you alone against her? If so, you would waste no time before killing her.

"For now, you won't go anywhere." the figure said. As Azriel stiffened beside you, probably ready to attack if she come any closer, you felt something shift in the air. "Eris, make sure she stays right where she is while I take the boys for a walk."

You couldn't stop your eyes from snapping to Eris, finding him shifting his weight on his legs, hands loose at his side and glassy, empty eyes fixed on you.

There was no way to communicate with him without Briallyn knowing it, or was it? Eris had told you that the bargain had created a bond among the two of you, could you access that bond to communicate with him?

As soon as you looked inside you, there it was. Weak, thin and hidden, you could make out the bond that had been created by the bargain. You tug to it, shyly, never breaking eye contact with Eris.

Can you ear me?

Nothing on his perfect, beautiful face. Nothing in his enchanting, amber eyes. You clenched your jaw, frustrated by the lack of reaction.

Come, snap at me. Mock me for caring. Say something.

Nothing.

"Lets give them their privacy, shall we?" the cloaked figure mocked as she moved toward the lake. Your eyes shifted on Azriel, how could you tell him that Briallyn was not the cloaked figure? You could smell the unmistakably Made-scent that someone like you, your sisters and Briallyn shared, but it come from behind you, not in front of you. "Princeling, if she try to move, kill her."

Your eyes widened as you saw Eris' hand grabbing the pomel of the Made dagger at his side. From outside it could have seemed a casual move, but you knew it was different. He would kill you if you moved. Eris would actually do it, and there was nothing you or him could do to stop it.

"Don't you dare to move." Cassian warned you between his teeth as him and Azriel started to follow the fake Briallyn.

Gods, if you couldn't warn them of the danger, you had to stop it yourself. Quite the difficult task since there was an incredible, terrifying, skilled warrior ready to kill you if you did as much as scratch your nose. Not a no one warrior, but the General of the Autumn Court's forces. You could not stand a chance even if you had trained since you were born.

You gulped down the sluckery sensation of fear that was starting to grow inside you as you watched Eris. Never since you had known him had you been afraid of him. But now?

"You know I cannot let them alone with her." you said carefully, keeping your senses open as the real Briallyn's scent moved around you in the forest.

He didn't do as much as breath. "I'll have to kill you."

You hated his empty voice. You hated the sight of him so, so...lifeless. Eris could be many things: arrogant, funny, mocking, polite, flirty; but he had never sounded so flat.

"She controls minds, not emotions. So spare me the pain that your death would bring on me."

"You don't want to kill me." You repeated slowly, hoping that the Eris you knew was in there somewhere. "It would pain you, remember?"

"Then dont move." if you had to listen to his voice, you would say that he didn't really care if he killed you.

He made it sound like a business meeting. Move and I'll kill you, don't move and I won't. So easy, so simple.

You could sense Briallyn walking away from you, toward the lake where Azriel and Cassian were. You could not let her take them. You were the only one that Briallyn couldn't touch, so that meant that they were under your protection.

"I'm sorry." You sighed, and saw Eris' hand tightening around the dagger. He too was undertanding what you were going to do, and you considered it a small victory when in his eyes something shifted. "I hope stories exaggerate about your talent with a dagger."

And without a warning you run in the opposite direction, toward the real Briallyn. There was no turning back now. You had switched on Eris' order to kill you, and now the steps you heard behind you sounded very much like a mourning song. Probably the one that they would play at your funeral.

You could not beat Eris if it come to a fight, so your only chance was to be quicker, find Briallyn and kill her before he could come any close to you.

A memory flashed into your mind of the first and only time you had been running with Eris on your feet. You were running toward Nesta to stop the King od Hybern from killing her, and Eris had been following you to save you. How the table had turned now.

A moment you were running, the next the ground approached quickly to your face. Pain flashed throught your temple as you hit the forest's floor.

You quickly tried to get up on your feet before a hand grabbed your hair and forced you to stand up. A scream of pain left your lips as you were faced with the redhaired male. "Eris stop." you tried to talk reason into him as fire bounded your ankles together, forbidding you to run.

Your hand was quick at his side, grabbing the Made dagger and pushing the blade at his neck while he angled your head at an unnatural angle. It was completely less pleasuring than the way he did it in your dream.

The Made dagger pulsed in your hand, power flew in it throught your hand and you couldn't say were your power started and where its power ended. You could slice every enemy with it, but you wouldn't slice Eris. Never.

"Stop." you hissed pressing the blade against his skin, hoping that the good sense in him win on his controlled mind.

"Or what? You're gonna kill me, Archeron?" He asked, almost mocking. His free hand grabbed your throat and pushed you against a tree making your vision going blurr as your head hit the wood. "Go on. Do it."

You could feel the air burning your lungs as it got harder and harder to breath. The grip on the dagger faltered, but Eris made no move to disarm you. Your eyes met again as his hand around your throat started to burn, and you were sure you would have burned flash for the next days.

If you survived it.

"Kill me." he dared you as his hand tightened.

He sounded like he was on the edge to beg you. Briallyn had told him to kill you, he couldn't stop it, but he could ask you to kill him first.

You would have laughed in another situation. "I won't." you barely stated as air started to stop coming inside your body. You let the Made dagger fallen on the ground, and you swore you saw his eyes widening with fear. "I can't." you whispered as you let your hands falling on his shoulders, a poor attempt to push him away.

You couldn't kill him. Your whole body would burn itself before killing him. The realization struck you in what was probably the worst moment. Dying was easier than killing him.

It was the unlocked fear in his amber eyes that made something click inside you.

"She controls minds, not emotions."

"Y/n, follow their instruction and don't let emotions cloud your judgment. Eris might depends on your clear mind more than we can imagine."

"Control your anger."

"She controls minds, not emotions."

"-not emotions."

Emotions could cloud your mind. You had lived it on your skin. And maybe it could cloud the Crown too.

You fought the blackness that threatened to blind you, as a crazy, stupid, mad idea came into your mind. You locked your hands behind his neck, locking your eyes with his. "I hope you like me enough, or this would be mortifying as my last moment."

You used all the strenght left in your body to push him against you and brought his face toward yours, making your lips, finally, crash. You barely registered how soft his slips were as your eyes shut closed while you desperatly begged the Mother to make it work.

Goosebumps rose all over your skin as your brain registered that you were actually kissing Eris. You felt him tense and tried to push away, but you would be damned if you let him. You grabbed his hair and kept his lips on yours as a different fire started to grow inside you.

You had to admit, this was definetly not your best kiss since you were almost blacking out for the lack of oxygen, and not because he was kissing you breathless but because he was actually strangling you to death.

But none of it mattered as you felt his grip on your throat lightening and the fingers he had locked in your hair started to actually caress the back of your neck.

The kiss was messy as you fought to stay awake and you supposed he was fighting the urge to kill you, to wich you were actually grateful. He was kissing you like his life depended on it, and even if you felt the need to puntualize that he was fighting for your life, you let him set the space.

Your body was begging for air, it would soon give out, but Eris needed you more. You could do it, a little more. You could resist however long he needed.

His grip on you had gone from deathly to needy. He was keeping you close, as if he was afraid for it to end. As if kissing you was his only chance at sanity.

Your desperation matched his. You both needed this to work. You both were walking a thin line between life and death. You both had probably wanted this for a very long time. You surely had.

You wished you could enjoy it, to let yourself loose in the fire that Eris was, but as the last wave of oxygen left your body your head lightened up. You tried to open your eyes but only blackness stared you back and suddenly all your strenght left.

Eris stopped abruptly, and you barely felt his head distancing from yours. "Little flame?"

"I'm going to faint." You whispered with a rough voice, trying your best to smile. "Please don't kill me."

The world fell around you, or you fell throught the world, and the floor disappeared from under your feet as two strong arms scooped you up.

Then, black.

A/N: AND THEY KISSED. It's not the kiss that reader, nor Eris, had hoped for, but it's what they both needed. Maybe not reader's lungs, but tbh I too would let him suck the air (and not only that) out of me and I would thank him :)

taglist: @adventure-awaits13 @blueeclipsepaperstudent @huffleruffplant @azysmate @bia-wayne-west @babypeapoddd @lady-targaryens-world@sourapplex @ghostwritermia @asteria33 @pinklemonade34 @tell-me-a-poem @speedypersonawhispers @historygeekqueen @webvics@paliketerson @lizzytish82 @tincanhat @marrass @acourtofmoonlightandstars @yasmin-oviedo @ghostwritermia @marly500@kabekusa @gamarancianne @butterfix @itsxchar6 @iowaladynerd @that-girl-reading @kitsunetori @rcarbo1 @username199945 @giana1508 @homeslices @yasmin-oviedo @impossibelle @iambored24601 @elisabethch82 @herondale-lightworm

[silentplanetcat]

Fuck….I forgot about Jeff Dunham. I remember seeing a clip of him somewhere as a little 9 year old. This is actually bringing a lot of stuff back. I was in a very different area (namely, New York) and I was 3 when the attacks happened so I remember nothing. My first memory of the time was a WILD conversation that took place between my dad and me in 2003ish. Let me set the scene. I am a gangly little 5 year old with terrible hand-eye coordination, crooked glasses, pigtails that stuck out of my head and 2 years of 40-hour-per-week ABA therapy under my belt. I am going through something of a questioning phase as I try and figure out how the world works. Notable questions included “Mommy, how did you and Daddy meet? Are you siblings?” “Is George Washington Still the President?” “Do *all* boys named George become the president?” etc.

My dad and I are walking in New York. I had just finished reading a children's book about World War 2 and I have a lot of questions about it. This is how the conversation begins. Me: So World War 2 was started by Germany trying to take over the world...

Dad: Yes honey

Me: Did they want to take over America?

Dad: Well they didn’t get that far, but they probably would have tried. Me: Are we in any wars right now?

Dad: [considerate pause. Glances to his right. We are currently passing by the Iraqi Embassy, I shit you not.] Well…yes..yes we are.

Me: Who are we fighting?

Dad: Two countries you haven’t heard of. One is called Iraq. That’s its flag right there. Me: Whoa! What’s the scribble on it?

Dad: That’s writing in their language. Me: Do they speak…Irakian?

Dad: No. Their language is called Arabic and it has a different alphabet from us. Me: Are they trying to take us over?

Dad: …no Me: Then why are we fighting them?

Dad: Well Iraq is ruled by a very, very mean man named Saddam Hussein. We think he has weapons that could hurt a lot of people. Like I said, he’s a very bad man. So America is going to try and stop him from doing bad things.

Me: Like we’re gonna put him in a time out?

Dad:…something like that.

Me: Is the President gonna put him in a time out?

Dad: Well the President has to stay in America, so he’s going to send some very brave men and women to put Saddam Hussein in a time out.

Me: Wow! [Pause] You aren’t going to fight Saddam Hussain, are you? Dad: No, don’t worry honey.

Me: Ok. Good.

After this, I start getting interested in reading the newspapers my parents get every morning. I don’t know if they’re on the Internet. I only use the Internet to play flash games on the American Girl Doll website (RIP Flash Plugins). It starts with me looking at pictures and asking what’s happening in them. Then I move on to reading captions, then shorter articles, then longer articles. The New York Times and NPR become my foreign policy teacher—but I know not to listen too much to NPR because dad says sometimes they’re a bit crazy. My understanding of America is very…liberal. I know we are the Best country in the world with the best and nicest army in the world. I know that when I see someone in a soldier’s uniform I’m supposed to go up to them, look them in the eye and thank them for their service. I know that my classmates talk about these buildings that don’t exist anymore called the “Twin Towers,” but mom and dad won’t tell me what they are until I’m 9. I know that Saddam Hussein is a bad man with a very silly-looking mustache and that he hates freedom, children and America and we need to stop him. I also know about another bad man named Osama Bin Laden. He wears a hat and has a long beard, like Santa, but its black instead of white. I know he hates America and Freedom too and that we’re trying to find him so we can put him in a time out with Saddam Hussein. I am shielded from a lot of the homophobia and rape culture. When I find out the gay couple that introduced my parents to each other aren’t married, I’m very confused because I don’t know why the President or Congress would make a law against Uncle [Redacted] and Uncle [Redacted] from getting married. I’m also a bit peeved because I want them to make me their flower girl, but mom and dad say that they won’t have a big wedding because they want to do it quickly in case the government of Massachusetts changes their mind. The rape culture doesn’t become apparent to me until I’m 10 and learn what rape in my Catholic School bible study class. By the time I’m able to appreciate it at 12, it’s 2010 and the decade is over. Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein are dead. We’re still in Iraq and Afghanistan and nobody knows when we’ll leave. The economy is collapsing and a lot of my classmates are moving away. The rumblings of oncoming fascism are there, but Mom and Dad say everything is gonna be ok. I believe them. Then I’m in my college’s dining hall in 2016 watching the election, the results come in, a collective wail erupts from the crowd of students staring at the screen and a thought occurs to me that I’ve never really considered. What if Mom and Dad are wrong?

…I’m asking this as a younger queer person who was busy with other things during the 2000s (namely being a toddler/very young child)…what was being queer teen in the early 2000s like? Also, before I go interrogate the first willing 40 year old I find at the LGBT Center…do you know of any books or articles about this time period?

it was a lot of being forced through abstinence only sex education, getting hate crimed, being super eating disordered and that being completely normalized and even considered healthy, having classmates die of a mix of eating disorders & drug use, rampant teen pregnancy, both teachers and students getting into fistfights, being sexually harassed literally all the time, the one trans kid having to take school online so he wouldnt kill himself, 25 year olds hanging out around the school giving girls cigarettes and sexually assaulting them, working a part time job at the mall for 5.50 an hour then driving home to find your mom watching bill oreilly ranting about how people like you are evil and disgusting and next thing jeff dunhams on the tv doing jokes about dead muslims. cant tell you just how ambient and everywhere both violent homophobia and rape culture were like it was omnipresent. lotta slurs too. lots of teens getting black out drunk all the time and puking and getting into situations. what resistance to the wars i got to see in my small ish city was a few rallies of a few dozen people and some protest signs tied to highway overpasses, but otherwise american flags and jingoistic propaganda were everywhereeeee, on every minivan window and classroom etc. nobody spoke up for gay people that wasnt gay and everybody hated women and were so so anti black

the internet was a lot better though.

[chososdiscordkitten]

Just A Taste.

Synopsis: Gojo wants to taste readers breast milk •⩊•

Pairing: Gojo xFem!Reader Content: some plot, mostly nasty stuff, no penetrative sex, nursing handjob, ADULT NURSING, he tries to convince reader to let him suck a lil sum, gojo being weird, mentions he didn't have a mom, BREASTFEEDING, mommy kink if you squint, PREGNANCY KINK, whiny satoru, overall just a lot of nipple and breast play

Dedicated to: @busyreader17 , my beloved for hyping me up to write this, ty<;33

(a.n) why do I only ever write about gojo being a pregnancy freak? has to be studied. wrote this listening to very dramatic classical music

MDNI

Gojo has always been hard headed, never thinking twice on talking back or starting an argument just to prove he was right. And that little quirk about him only enhanced when his child was born.

Even if you were the one who spent countless hours in the emergency room trying to give birth to his big headed child- Satoru insisted that he knew best for his offspring. And in extension- he knew what was best for you. 

“Formula isn't good enough for my child.” he retorted when you mentioned how painful it was to breastfeed his gnawing child.

And when you'd bring up that you were ready to start working again- “You don't have to work- that's why you have me.” 

Little by little Gojo started dictating most of the aspects of your life. There was little to no resistance from you though- you didn't mind his overbearing fatherly tendencies when it came to protecting his family.

But there was one thing, just one thing you'd complain about if you could.

As stubborn as Satoru was in day to day life- he was equally, if not more stubborn in bed. Especially in one specific area.

Gojo begged. Begged on his knees as he watched you pump. Sitting on the couch and bouncing your knee as his hands held onto your calf, “I just want to taste-” he pouted, eyebrows pinched upwards. 

“Satoru.” you gritted through your teeth- hearing the whirr of the machine on your chest. He sighed as he placed his forehead to your knee, mumbling something about how mean you were to him.

This newfound need to taste the milk from your breasts was mildly irritating, not being able to take your shirt off without his eyes prying- parting his lips before asking again.  

Satoru would be lying if he said that anytime your breasts would leak against his chest midway through fucking- it didn’t take every ounce of strength he had to not trail his lips down to your puffy nipple. 

So, so, very tempting. But he'd refrain from acting on his urges, knowing you'd probably shake him off or tell him to stop completely. So instead of doing it without your permission, he settled on asking you anytime he could. 

At first you thought this was just him wanting to know what it tasted like, but when you offered him a small sip from a cup he said- “If i'm gonna drink it, I want it straight from the source.” to which you said, “I guess you're never gonna taste it then.” before tossing the small sip down the sink. 

He must've asked 3 times a day. Gojo needed it so bad- he would beg on his knees at your feet, looking up at you like an abused puppy that you were being far too cruel to.

And you always said no. 

But, your objections sounded like ‘maybe one day’ to his ears. 

So one very early morning, 4 maybe 5 am- you were standing at the kitchen counter, holding the little pumping machine to your right breast as your face churned with a grimace. Your nipples were sore, from the machine sucking harshly and from how often you had to do it.

You had just started filling one of the little bottles, and as though Gojo knew what you were doing, he walked in. Squinting at you, almost asking what you were doing at this hour- till his eyes landed on your breasts you didn't bother to cover. “Go back to sleep, I'll be done soon.” you muttered in a groggy voice as the whirring woke Satoru up from the hazy state he was in. 

He took a few steps towards you- resting his elbows on the counter as he watched the machine milk you. Jealous that a stupid machine had the right to and he didn't. 

The sun not even breaching the skyline made the room dim and dusky. 

You didn't mind if he watched- but that's all you'd ever grant him. But directly after sex- when his chest would be drippng with the light cream colored liquid that leaked from your breasts while he fucked you- and as he looked down to his sculped body in the bathroom, the sink running on a hand towel as you waited for him to come back to help clean you up.

His fingers couldn't help but swipe at the liquid before placing it on his tongue. The whisper of your taste on his tongue made one thing clear in his mind. If he couldn’t wrap his lips around your nipple and suck till there was nothing left- if you wouldn’t grant him that one favor, the closest thing he had was to fuck you in missionary from now on. Hoping one day he would ask you mid way through- and you’d be too fucked out to say anything but yes.  

True if he really wanted to taste you- he could just reach into the freezer and thaw a bag of the pumped milk to try it. But he didn't just want to taste it- he wanted to feel it fill his mouth directly from the source. How warm it would be as it slid down his throat. And god- from the small tastes he's gotten, it's so sweet. You taste so fucking sweet.

His eyes watched as the plastic bottle filled up with milk, almost hypnotized by the liquid. You winced as the machine sucked at your sore nipple, which only made the cogs in Satoru’s brain start churning with schemes. 

With soft eyes he fluttered his white eyelashes up to you, “Does it hurt?” he whispered, looking at your expression that looked more irritated than pained. You nodded your head slowly, “It feels like when your foot is asleep,” you muttered, “but not the ‘numb’ kind of asleep, like the kind that hurts anytime you move it.” you continued as you closed your eyes, exhausted and very ready to go back to bed. 

Satoru raised himself from the counter, taking steps over to you as you felt his presence loom next to you. “Nd you have to do it all the time too-” he scoffed, playing the sympathy card so you'd think he was on your side. 

He pressed a kiss to your bare shoulder, “They always look so full,”  he murmured against your skin, you hummed in response, agreeing with what he was saying as he wrapped his hand around your waist, placing his chin on your shoulder. “So painful.” he hummed as his hands dared to trace up your bare torso. 

“I can help, y’know.” The tone he said those words sounded sincere- almost as though he was just trying to make this easier for you, you let out a hum in disbelief, “Unless you're a baby who refuses to latch- no you can't.” you mumbled with a groggy voice. 

Your words came out as a retort- but in Gojo’s ears they sounded like a challenge. 

It was true, his child had the same stubborness as Satoru, refusing to eat anything that didn’t come from a plastic bottle. Thus the pumping and the overproduction of milk that was piled high in the freezer by now. You had half the mind to sell it or empty them down the drain, I mean what child is gonna drink that much? Even if it was a Gojo heir- no child drinks that much milk. 

But the thought pained Satoru, it only reminded him of the times where that frozen milk could have been in his mouth rather than in plastic bags. 

Satoru kept a light touch as his hand trailed to the side of your ribs, scooping the bottom of the free breast you hadn’t pumped yet. Feeling the weight in his hand as he lifted it lightly, and you were just tired enough to let him. “They're so heavy.” he whispered in a coo as you blinked your eyes open, fully registering what he was trying to do. 

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Don't be gross, ‘toru.” you spoke in a clearer voice, earning a small laugh to ring into your ear as his hand gently grasped the side of your full breast. “What's gross about wantin’ to help?” He murmured in your ear, his hand keeping a light graze as his pointer finger brushed past your tender nipple, you hissed at the feeling causing Satoru to hum an understanding ‘I know.’ into your ear. 

You couldn't see his face but you were sure he was pleased with himself, “That's all I wanna do.” his words sounded wholehearted. Almost earnest as his large hand held onto your breast with a light touch, “I'll be sooo gentle, I promise.” he closed his eyes feeling your breast fill his palm with ease, “I just wanna help you,” he whispered as he pressed the off button on the little machine, guiding your hand to place it on the counter as he pressed an honest kiss to your ear. 

You knew that filling those little bottles would have taken way too long, then the thought of how much faster it would be if you let him- “Let me help you.” 

Satoru’s silver tongue was never your favorite part of him, you never liked how easy it was for him to hide the truth behind seemingly sincere words. 

His brushing fingertips against your sore nipples didn't help either, his fingers were very, very close to squeezing the suede ring of color around the hardened peak- Satoru wanted to see if small rivulets would spurt out of your nipples if he squeezed. 

You inhaled feeling the warm pads of his fingertip caress at your tender nipple. If Satoru wasn't trying to convince you of something, you'd admit it felt nice. You scoffed, “Don't make it nasty ‘toru-” you caved, sighing with an exhausted tone, feeling his warm palms lift your heavy breasts.

Gojo’s mouth had been salivating from the second he walked into the kitchen, and as you said those words he gulped hard. “Course not~” he mumbled, allowing the truth to seep out in his words. 

And as he guided you to sit onto the couch as you've done plenty of times when you'd pump, he already knew how he wanted to be fed, he had thought about it over and over again. And settled on this position, his back was pressed against the tops of your thighs. His long legs extended onto the couch- unashamed of his cock rising from staring at the cream droplet that threatened to fall from your nipple.

Even if this act was obscene and borderlining on too far- you were grateful he didn't make any teasing remarks on how little it took for him to convince you this time. That and how his mouth would have been filled soon enough, so you wouldn't worry about that. 

Your hand was on the back of his head, fingers filled with lily white hair as he fought back a smile. Only the gleam in his eyes showed you just how excited he was. Satoru’s lips parted as his eyes darted back and forth from your sore nipple up to your face that was warm with embarrassment. All but asking for permission as you watched his bottom lip quiver in anticipation. 

With pinched eyebrows, you guided his head towards your aching breast, Gojo’s lips parted awaiting your puffy nipple. His tongue covered the bottom of his teeth- a low groan rumbled onto your skin as he lightly pressed his parted lips onto the skin around your nipple.

You watched with a grimace look on your face, not knowing why he would offer this- let alone enjoy it. 

Satoru’s tongue circled at your hardening nipple, lapping softly as he tried to keep his promise of being gentle as the essence of the milk lingered on his tongue. A small huff left your lip as he rested his tongue at the bottom of your nipple, protecting it from his pearly teeth. 

His hands rested atop his tummy as you caressed the back of his scalp, you nodded your head as a form of permission, giving Satoru the ‘ok’ that he could start- his lips were slow to start sucking, pulling your nipple further into his mouth with a lactogenic motion from his tongue.

Before now, Satoru wasn't fully sure how to nurse if you let him, he knew it wasn't like just sucking your nipple. But the second he felt the sore apex of your breast press against the roof of his mouth, sucking in as much of your breast as he could, his tongue massaged the bottom of your tit to coax the milk to come out. 

The motion came to him as an instinct, as though nursing was engraved in his marrow from the minute he was pulled into this world. 

It took very little effort to pull milk to the surface. But the moan that reverberated onto your breast from a fat droplet hitting Satoru’s tongue- it was bordering on pornographic. It was as though he saw the pearly gates of heaven when the droplet infiltrated the taste buds of his tongue.

No matter how much fantasizing he did, or any of the ghost-like tastes- nothing. Nothing, could have prepared him for how fucking heavenly you tasted.

Your milk was warm, thick enough to leave a light cast on his tongue as he tried to suckle more liquid from your nipple. Gojo’s mouth was latched onto you in a way you knew it would hurt to pull him off.

Satoru’s gaze threatened to shut as you looked down at him. His head coddled in your hand as he kept faltering eye contact with you. Only making this feel even more salacious than it should have. 

No, this was only supposed to be a way for him to help- a way to remove the aching pressure from your breasts and save some time.

But that look in his eyes, the way his eyebrows were furrowed- almost as though he was sucking your tit in spite. 

That was till a bigger wave of your milk rushed into his mouth, earning an almost anguished whimper to pulse against your skin.

Your eyes squinted trying to figure out if he was exaggerating- only the way his eyes struggled to stay open, the blush across his cheeks and the satisfied smile on the perked corners of his lips, convinced you he was being genuine. 

With every ooze of the prized liquid he suckled from your plump breast, Satoru swallowed. Not wanting any to spill from his lips as you placed your hand on his chest that was threatening to start hyperventilating. Too focused on suckling as much milk as he could to even consider keeping a steady breathing pattern. The warmth of his mouth on your tender nipple was soothing, comforting almost.

Gojo’s eyes were half lidded and hazy- trying his very best not to let them roll to the back of his head as the dulcet milk trickled down his throat. 

Unwillingly a small whimper fled his latched lips as his eyes closed, chest heaving from the taste of you coating his mouth. You huffed a small breath from his greedy tongue sucking harder on your nipple. 

Rubbing your hand on his chest to soothe the little whimpers that rumbled your breast, thankful his eyes were closed when they rolled to the back of his head. His trapped cock was shouting at him for attention, be it instinct or just wanting to relieve the ache- his hand slowly trailed down his tummy, only your eyes were too focused on his seemingly intoxicated expression to notice. 

Your hand holding his head up started rubbing gently at his scalp, seeing frustration form on his delicate features- unknowing why. But you were almost trying to soothe him as whimpers vibrated onto your breast. Watching his eyebrows furrow and the growing blush on his cheeks to deepen as his eyes fluttered open.

Looking up at you from the slightly obstructed view from below, your palm on his chest being able to feel how hard his heart was beating. And as your eyebrows furrowed with a breathy sigh- you watched the familiar look in Satoru’s eyes glimmer past white lashes. 

You inhaled sharply, feeling his tongue trail from massaging the bottom of your nipple to the little mound that provided the milk. Tracing the tip of his tongue on your bud causing you to hiss his name in a warning. 

That's all it took for him to continue suckling on your sore nipple. You were about to rest back onto the couch with a sigh, caressing the back of his head as you felt relief wash over your shoulders, allowing him to take what he needed and then some. 

That was till your eye caught his bicep flexing- and you trailed your eyes down his pale arm parting your lips in shock as you watched his unashamed hand palm himself through his gray sweats. 

You huffed- only it came out in a breathy sigh rather than in the reprimanding tone you meant it to. Satoru only moaned as he heard his name fall from your lips, feeling his mouth suck rougher in order to pull more milk from your heavy breast that threatened to suffocate his nose.

His hand hesitantly removed itself from the stiff bulge of his sweats, landing on your wrist that was on his chest. His hazy cerulean eyes filled with the kind of mist you only see when he's premeditated something long before you knew of it.

Satoru’s fingers wrapped around your wrist as he greedily drank from your nipple, so greedily that the corners of his mouth were threatening to leak the honeyed fluid- he was suckling so much, he couldn't swallow fast enough.  

And as the little droplets stained the sides of Gojo’s jaw, trailing down his pale skin- he led your hand to extend over to his strained bulge. Knowing if you truly were uncomfortable by this, you would've pulled away the second you saw him palming himself.

You inhaled as his hand led you to his cock by your wrist, gasping softly with a tingle on your cheeks from how hard he was. Satoru placed his larger hand atop yours, pressing it onto his painful erection with a whine rippling through your skin. 

You flashed your eyes from the gray fabric that trapped his neglected cock, back to his eyes. Threatening to blink shut as you kept a gentle grasp on his bulge. Even if he was the one in your lap, nursing at your breast in a way that can only be described as voracious. That look on his face was smug, almost as though he was right this entire time and you were the hard headed one.

Satoru trailed his hand onto your forearm, smiling to himself as you started softly palming his prominent bulge. 

Your eyebrows were pinched upwards, trying very, very hard not to shift your thighs beneath his back to relieve the ache forming between them.

You felt bad, like the only reason he was palming himself- almost in a sad way, was because you allowed this to happen. It wasn't guilt- but you wanted to apologize in some way. 

Satoru’s mouth suckled in no pattern, his only goal was to drain every single gush of milk you offered. No matter how fervent he must've looked right now, he didn’t care. As long as he could feel your warmth in his throat- your taste coating the cavern of his mouth- he didn’t care if he looked like a starved man.

You sighed almost in pity as he let out various throaty whimpers, firmening your fingers around the print in his sweats. “Oh ‘toru~” you soothed, knowing how hard he was- it had to be painful. Your cheeks tingling and warm as his hips bucked up into your hand for more friction. 

And as your hand cradled onto the back of his head, you maneuvered the hand on his bulge to free it from its torment. 

For the first time since he latched onto your nipple, his lips parted from your breast with a low moan. The cold morning air hitting his pinkening tip causing him to furrow his eyebrows, but all it took was for the feeling to settle before he attached onto your draining nipple once more.

You didn't hesitate to place your hand onto his base, feeling the light trails of his precum on his shaft from how worked up he was, tempting a gasp to leave his lips, you looked at him.

And as though he was made to do it- Satoru lightly ran his tongue at your budding nipple, lapping up the white sweetness that leaked from your breast. 

You kept a light touch on his cock, his hand on your upper arm before gently resting it on the swell of your other breast. Thinking to himself how rude of him that he was neglecting your other equally tender nipple. 

Satoru lightly thumbed your nipple, feeling light drips wet his thumb. Enticing you to slowly start stroking him, stopping your grasp right before your fingers could roll onto his flushed tip. Knowing he wouldn't last long if you worked over his cockhead. 

The moans that rumbled from Gojo’s throat and onto your sensitive skin were full of desperation and bliss. You watched him in almost pity- trickles of your milk falling from the sides of his lips, making trails of white drip down his cheeks.

It didn’t take long for him to finish draining your breast, somewhere in his mind he knew there was nothing left in your left tit, but that didn't stop him from trying to slurp up any remaining droplets.

Gojo’s cheeks felt like they were boiling on his face, and with one last lap of your nipple, he unlatched from your breast. Huffing softly as his breath tickled your damp nipple, he looked up at you, an amazed and out of breath expression formed on his face as you wiggled your eyebrows. 

It was embarrassing, the way your milk left trails of a light white film on his cheeks, the way he was breathing heavily with his cock in your hand. Vulnerable. 

Satoru saw your flushed face- and to comfort you he raised himself from the tops of your thighs lightly, keeping a massaging hand on your unsucked breast as he pressed his plump lips to yours.

It was filthy- Mouths dancing against each other in pure delirium. Being able to taste yourself on his tongue- on his spit laced with milk. It was like Gojo did that to show you just how exquisite you tasted. Only for your hand to keep its snail pace, avoidant of his crying tip. 

His lips pulled from yours, looking into your eyes and thumbing your weeping white nipple. Soft opened mouth moans coming from his lips as your hand stroked tenderly.

Rare were the times when Satoru was silent during intimacy, usually babbling teasing nonsense. But this time, the carnal look in his eye told you everything you needed to know. His senseless prattling wasn't even a thought in his mind right now, burning beneath his skin was pure and utter hunger. Hunger, to taste you- to drink from you. To nurse, over and over again. 

The one thought that lingered in his mind was to make sure to keep you pregnant- keep you in a state to continue producing the warm comfort he hardly had as a child. 

Gojo licked his bottom lip, mouth salivating as he felt the warm liquid trickle onto his palm. He leaned back slightly, looking down to your swollen nipple rolling between his fingers. Then trailing his gaze to your slow stroking hand, Gojo was sure he had never been so hard in his life till now. 

He licked his lips before cupping the side of your heavy breast in his palm, slowly shifting himself down to align himself with your right breast. Your hand followed the back of his scap, guiding him to latch onto your dripping nipple. 

Satoru opened his mouth, closing his eyes when he felt the skin of your breast fill his mouth again. Running his tongue across your neglected nipple and tasting the essence his fingers had squeezed out. A throaty whine leaving his nose as he started suckling, so enthralled by your taste and the gentle way you stroked him. Keeping his kneading hand on the side of your breast to assist in guiding more milk into his mouth.

Your cheeks were warm, tingling from how lewd he looked at that moment. The little whimpers that came from him didn't help either. 

Happily, Satoru let those unfiltered whines pour from him, if it meant you'd know how much he was enjoying himself. 

And as your hand slightly passed his tip on the upturn, he gasped against you. Almost as a warning, he sucked harder on your sore nipple in return. Gojo let out muffled cries from your hand stroking past his tip, even if you couldn't see it- his eyes were rolled to the back of his head as he suckled instinctively. You looked away from his face- churned with an insatiable greed. 

Looking at his pinkening cock in your hand as the veins on his lower abdomen stood proud beneath his skin. His chest was heaving once more, forced to take heavy inhales through his nose as he felt the knot in his tummy tighten. 

Satoru’s whines started to rumble louder against you, watching an inhale reach down his torso, his tummy caving from how hard he exhaled. He was so close. So fucking close and fighting it at this point. You could see it in his scrunched eyebrows and desperate suckles. 

You lightly scratched your nails onto his scalp, “It’s okay ‘toru,” you sighed softly, gaining his cerulean eyes to open slightly and look up at you. You were flustered sure, but you wanted to assure Satoru that he could cum whenever he liked. He didn't need to hold off for your sake. 

Only when he saw the soft smile on your lips- something deep within him snapped. It didn't click before, even with your hand tenderly stroking him and your tit in his mouth, even as he was nursing directly from your breast. It still didn't click. 

But when you soothed his whimpers, the tender smile you had on your lips as he took and took from you. The nurturing tone you assured him with. That's when it made sense. That's when he realized why he had been longing to help you in this way. 

Before he didn’t really question it- thought it was just something weird he found hot amongst all his other strange fantasies. But now. Now it made sense. 

Your mind was a mess, barely able to process the words that fell from your lips naturally. Gojo’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as you polished his cockhead, his hips bucking up into it in response. You watched as he let go of that final reservation, sucking harshly causing more of your milk to spill from the corners of his lips with frustrated whines. Being able to feel his orgasm tighten in his stomach. 

The hand on your breast was practically milking you, squeezing milk into his mouth rather than his tongue nursing at it, his nose was scrunched as he exhaled a ragged breath through his nose. Your nipple was starting to ache from the vibrating whimpers and moans, and instead of telling him to stop, you raked your fingers through his hair gently. “Shh, I know, I know.” you crooned, keeping a steady pace on his cock as he simmered his whimpers. 

Ever since Satoru told you he had little to no memories of his mother, you knew he had mommy issues. And when he started asking to taste your milk you were hesitant, knowing once that pandora's box was opened there was no use trying to close it again.

Only as you looked down at him, how content and blissful he looked- unlike anything you've ever seen before, you didn't mind if it didn’t close again. 

Satoru parted his eyes, feeling his orgasm slowly slip in his tummy, you watched as his eyes fluttered back to his head- mumbling something in the sound of ‘m’cummi-’ against your skin as you sped up your pace. His hips twitching up into your hand as you jerked him quickly, his lungs could barely handle how little air he was inhaling, his brain fuzzy as he slurped and lapped at your nipple. 

Gojo saw stars as you stroked him past the pinnacle you worked him up, his eyes squinted harshly as his lips unlatched from your breast, throaty groans mixed with whines fell from his lips as his orgasm oozed over your hand. When your thumb caressed the opening on his tip, his cock spurted out another pump of his cum with a whine. 

As you helped work through his orgasm, smaller pumps of his seed assisted in the wet strokes you gave him, Satoru latched back onto your breast with a content sigh, needing to drain as much as he could, his cock slowly softening in your hand. 

And as he drank the rest of your milk you rested your hand on his lower belly, waiting for him to finish taking what he needed. His mouth wasn’t suckling as frantically nor hurried as before. You relished in the warmth his lips provided with a sigh, closing your eyes as the sun started rising. Being able to see the light through your closed eyes. 

When Satoru couldn't taste any more milk coming from your drained breast, he hesitantly pulled away. Resting his head in your hand as he looked up to the ceiling hazily, milk drunk as your breasts obstructed his view.

He inhaled, “Throw away that stupid machine.” you sighed, knowing he’s hated the breast pump since he saw you use it for the first time. 

“What am I gonna do when you're not around?” you murmured, thinking of a world where you wouldn't have access to a pump. 

“Call me and I'll find you.” 

You let out a small laugh. Leaning your back onto the couch as Satoru setted on your hand. “So fucking weird.” You murmured, hearing him let out a smiley breath. 

Satoru sat up, turning to you with an endearing gaze, “Only cause I like you soooo much.” he claimed, pressing a kiss onto your temple before standing. Reaching out for your hand, ignoring the mess on his tummy, pulling you to stand as he led you to the master bathroom. 

“What do you want for breakfast?” you muttered behind him, watching him halt his steps and looking back at you, “What?” he asked with a smug smile and creased eyebrows. 

You furrowed your eyebrows, “...Breakfast?” not understanding what was confusing about the question. 

Satoru scoffed, “What for? You just fed me.” he spoke sweetly, watching the grimace on your face churn with an appalled ‘ugh!’ as you snapped your hand away from his. You scoffed as he reached for your hand again, pulling you into his arms. Peppering kisses over your features as you groaned.

“You’re so nasty.” you scoffed as he stepped forward, leading you into the bathroom with various kisses on your cheeks. 

You were sure this little activity Satoru found so much attraction in, would make its way into your daily routine. Only you didn't mind it as much as you thought you would.

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

writing this added 3 years to my life dead ass.

[vaaaaaiolet]

Anxiety left you sleepless all night. Leon figures his favorite dream of you might help.

mdni CIAO CHILDREN!! f / m smut w established relationship. put bluntly, leon fucks the worry out of you 😭 he talks you through sex by retelling a dream, tiny bit of character study, PRAISE!! TONS of fingering, 0.5 sec of cockwarming, light angst, p in v w/ a happy ending iykwim, aftercare and i love you's awww. also strawberries 🍓

a / n: req fic from my event!! i took the premise from isle of strawberries by edwin raphael and you can find a playlist for this fic here. motivational smut is a first for me LMFAO but i hope this works w your vision, anon <3 also PEE AFTER SEX YOU GUYS

word count: 2.5k // read on ao3

The 5 AM sun shines rays through the cracks in your plan. You thought you’d been convincing enough with your face pancake-flat against the pillow and your left arm thrown out of the blanket just so. You’d even made sure you had a foot poking into Leon’s side the way he always grumps about, but somehow, your boyfriend always seems to see right through you.

Just like now. 

A busybody poke on your shoulder. “Sweetheart,” follows a drowsy whisper, “what’re you doing?”

Sleeping since last night, thank you very much.

“No use playing possum. You haven’t moved an inch since we went to bed and you, ma’am, can’t sleep still to save your life. C’mere,” and you’re tugged to Leon’s side of the bed, the top of your head peppered with slow, sleepy kisses as he hugs an arm around your middle. “Did you sleep at all tonight?”

You clutch his forearm like a safety bar on a rollercoaster. “A little.”

“Enough?”

“Um…” 

Leon kisses his teeth. He’s usually the one on the receiving end of these questions, but he’s picked up a couple things from you. “Too hot? Too cold? Anything I can get you?”

“Nothing’s wrong, I just can’t fall asleep.”

A quiet sigh from you, a hum of understanding from him.

“Because you’ve been thinking again.” He asks if you want to talk about it.

“It’s just a bad night,” you mumble, playing absentmindedly with his fingers. “Overwhelmed. Been getting into my head about everything I should be doing but don’t. I feel like I’m letting everyone down all the time.” 

In the champagne pink of the early morning light pouring through the bedroom window, your eyes trace the corded muscle of Leon’s arm around you – a testament to the strength it takes to do his job every day. There’s scars here, burn marks there, a plum-hued bruise.

Your words stumble to a halt. Embarrassed color rises to your cheeks. 

The matter is that scars from his missions to the ends of the earth litter the chest cradling your back right now. Leon must be sore and aching, listening to you whine like a child with too much food on your plate. What could be keeping you up at night when he shoulders your worst nightmares for a living? All while you lay cuddled and coddled? You don’t know the first thing about worry, the paralysis in his bones that must pale to yours.

Guilt creeps up your spine, and Leon frowns at your sudden silence. You’re retreating into a shell he’s called home too many times. He won’t have any of that with you. 

“Hey, hey, you’re okay,” he soothes, smoothing back your hair. “I’m still here. You don’t wanna talk right now?” 

You let go of his arm and burrow into your pillow, mumble about how you like sleeping late on weekends anyway.

A scoff sounds behind you. “Sleep late, my ass.” 

Leon’s arm comes circling back over your ribs in an instant. He squeezes you so tight to his chest that you feel his heart thump behind your back, and you can’t help the unexpected laugh that bubbles up your throat when he lets go. It’s his favorite reflex of yours.

“If you won’t talk, I will.” Leon presses a kiss to your cheek. “Gonna distract you for a bit, sweetheart. Humor me?”

“Hm?”

“I wanna tell you about my favorite dream. You’re in it.”

You can’t pretend that doesn’t catch your attention like lightning to a rod. Leon doesn’t dream much, not besides the nightmares that have him scrambling to throw off the covers in the middle of the night. 1998 hangs thick in the air of your bedroom some days, but for him to have a dream where you don’t die for a change? That’s new. 

So is his hand starting to creep under your sleep shirt, playful circles tracing on the soft skin below your navel. Part of his distraction strategy. A successful one, if the skip in your heart rate has anything to do with it.

“This okay?” he rasps.

More than. 

You reach behind, cradling his cheek to kiss him a proper hello; allow yourself an anticipatory inhale when Leon’s hand dives under the waistband of your shorts. It takes exactly three seconds for his middle finger to pinpoint the pearl of your clit, and he circles it twice, maddeningly slow, before sliding right under to trace along the seam of your entrance. 

Leon keeps the pressure light. He needs your head clear so you listen. 

“It always starts the same.” He shifts his hips so yours widen for him. “I’m standing in the middle of a huge field, a strawberry farm. There’s nothing around for miles, just rows of bushes full of berries and storm clouds in the distance. I find an empty basket in my hand.”

You imagine your mountain of a boyfriend holding a basket like Strawberry Shortcake. Adorable. “You dream about picking strawberries?” you giggle, arching your back to fit more comfortably against him, and your consideration earns you a searing dip of his finger into your pooling arousal. 

“That,” Leon chuckles, “and a nagging, sinking feeling that I should be doing something but I can’t.”

Oh. 

“Mhm. It hits me that I have to pick as many strawberries as I can before the storm rolls in, and I can’t even move, sweetheart.”

You swallow the returning lump in your throat. Push down a sigh that was building at the upward roll of his fingertip inside you. Leon tuts at your effort, coaxing the sound out anyway with a press of the spongy spot he knows is tucked at the back of your walls. You crumple at the delicious nudge; it leaves you open to welcome another finger into your warmth.

“But this is a good dream because,” Leon smiles at your next gasp, “then I see you at the edge of the field standing next to a little house, waving at me.” 

He scissors you open like he’s got all the time in the world. You clutch the corner of your pillow when you hear it through the comforter: the soft, rhythmic squelch of his fingers curling into your cunt.

Pretending he can’t hear your whimpered little curses as he coos in your ear, “There you go, listen to that,” Leon continues. “That’s when I start thinking. There’s no way I can save all these strawberries in time. You’re standing there, smiling at me without a clue there’s a storm brewing, and suddenly all I can think about is getting you into the house before you get hurt.”

His lesson becomes one of endurance the more he talks. The fingers pumping into your pussy melt your brain into mush that’s chanting, more, more! Exactly the root of your problem.

“So then I- oh, poor baby. This isn’t enough?” 

Shit. You forgot you talk in your sleep. And apparently when you get fingered too. 

“Guess I can’t blame you. I get distracted in the dream too, fuck.” There’s a pause, a sputtering stop to the lovely fullness when Leon pulls his fingers out and promptly sucks them off. 

Even a worm will turn; you certainly do. You whine Leon’s name when he makes a show of it, gazing at you with half-moon eyes and a boyish grin pulling at his lips. “What, it’s my fault you taste better than the strawberries did?” 

No, for leaving you hanging. You were paying attention — maybe a bit too much.

“It was you, by the way,” Leon chuckles, lifting the comforter so his knees can bracket your thighs. 

“I distracted you in the dream?” you gasp, sliding your hands up his shirt.

“In the best way, angel. You helped me get moving again.”

The peachy light of dawn caramelizes gold as Leon climbs on top of you. It doesn’t warm the bedroom quite yet; Leon makes sure the comforter is tucked over your bare skin after he finishes kicking off his pajama pants. He’s back to murmuring sweet nothings, gently tugging your shirt over your shoulders so he can kiss down the swell of your breasts. You’re so toasty under the covers that the goosebumps now speckling your chest are entirely his fault. 

“I remember you picking a few berries off a bush,” Leon looks fondly up at you under golden lashes, pressing a gentle kiss over your heart, “and you just looked so content eating them. I was fretting over saving the whole field and you were fine with a handful.”

You’re itching to ask: but the storm’s still coming, isn’t it? Thunder, rain, your aching cunt dripping onto the sheets right under him. 

Leon is all too happy to answer. 

One hand cradles the back of your head so he can drop his mouth onto yours, leaving the other free to slip under the blankets, rub consolation over the hood of your clit, and finally, finally, notch the swollen head of his cock at your entrance. You cry out, clutching at Leon’s hair when he sheaths himself in a buttery-smooth stroke – as if it could be any other way with how you’ve melted like chocolate in his hands. You both gasp at the stretch.

Leon’s jaw works as he kisses you, savoring you. Spit bridges your mouths in between split-second gulps of air. Your heart thumps against your ribcage like you’re hanging off a precipice, no difference in the dizzying drop that waits ahead. His length sits adjusting inside the squeeze of your plush walls. 

Leon’s sentences come out chopped and desperate as he alternates sucking berry-toned love bites between your breasts, and he admits, “I don’t save the all the strawberries.”

You wheeze as if you’ve dashed across the field yourself. “No?”

“Just enough to last us the storm. Fuck the rest, figure it’ll grow back. Only need to focus on what matters – getting enough for you – so I pick a couple,” the thick of his cock is suffocating when it’s this still, “run,” Leon pants at the first snap of his hips against yours, outrunning the storm all over again, “and pull you inside the house before lightning strikes.”

Electric pleasure curls up from the base of your spine, spreads to your head and flickers down to your toes as Leon starts pounding into your pussy. No room in your chest for anxiety to linger when your eyes are rolling skyward. The edges of your vision melt into vignette as your lover sinks into you again and again. 

Tunnel vision. 

“Keep those pretty eyes open. Focus on what matters,” he repeats in a frenzied whisper, and the tunnel closes in.

All you see are Leon’s eyes. Smack dab in the middle of his blown out pupils is your reflection.

That’s it.

Coherency goes flying out the window with all your brainpower used up to connect the dots. “Leon, you-!”

“Tell me what you see, sweetheart,” he breathes sharply. “I know you can.”

You beg for mercy at each dig of his blunt cockhead. “Me, I get it, fuck! Please- just let me come!”

Course he can, he just has to drill something else into you first. 

“Need to hear you say it,” Leon grits. Nips at the base of your neck as your nails claw stinging holds on his shoulders. “Shit, I’ll make you see stars, don’t worry, I just need to – oh, you’re so fucking tight! – get it in your head. You can’t shut down on me.”

You thrash under him, make more space for bruising kisses to bloom up your neck. “But you’ve had it worse,” you sob out, overwhelmed. 

“How else do you think I know?”

He’s not letting you head off into your own storm alone. Not when you’ve saved him from his.

“Tell me you’ll let me in next time you get in your head, and I’ll make you come. I’ll make you come so fucking good, baby,” Leon hisses, stealing one last kiss from your panting lips. 

“Promise?” 

“Promise.” 

“I will.”

And you ought to thank your lucky stars your levees don’t hold. 

It starts with spiraling cracks. Leon reaching down to press his thumb over your swollen clit. One shaky thrust away from dislodging the last brick holding you together. A blink-and-you’ll-miss-it flutter of your cunt, choked breaths torn from his throat when the silken clutch of your walls sends him into that final crescendo. 

Leon’s fraying at the edges, obsessive in how rolls his thumb at the bundle of nerves that make you shriek his name, and you, hand in hand with him, finally let the swelling tsunami in the pit of your stomach topple your walls. 

Turns out he’s right. Stars explode across the night sky when your eyes squeeze shut. 

You can’t pay attention to much except the rolling tide of pleasure. Leon’s soon spilling into you, his brow pinched as he blindly works his spend into your cunt under the covers. His forehead glistens with sweat, hell, your baby hairs are a dripping mess, but strangely, you think you’ll spend the rest of your life chasing this warmth again. 

Your heart’s never felt more weightless. 

Glowing seconds sail by. Leon’s shaking arms eventually give way and he collapses onto your chest. You let out an “oof!” at the drop. 

“And then the dream ends,” you hear him sigh, eyelids fluttering shut.

About time, you think, smiling as you brush a thumb over his cheekbone. “Then you wake up?”

“No.” Leon cracks open a sapphire eye and grins. “Sometimes we do this.”

In the little hou- Oh. “Fuck you,” you laugh.

“It’s my favorite for a lot of reasons!” 

He sits up, keeping his touch featherlight when he pulls himself out from between your candied thighs. Tiny aftershocks jerk your thighs once, twice, and Leon takes the time to whisper soft apologies when he reaches for a tissue on the bedside table. 

“I meant it back there, y’know?” he hums, gently wiping off the mess between your legs. “I hate seeing you so hard on yourself.”

“It just feels like I’m making a big deal out of nothing. Especially when you’ve been through worse,” you mumble, picking at the covers.  

The tissue gets tossed into the trash, and Leon shoots you a small smile. “Worse to you, maybe. To me, the worst thing I’ve seen is watching you lose your spark and not being able to help.”

“You really think so?”

“Why wouldn’t I? I love you.”

So you remember your promise. 

You tell him you love him too, no more secrets to keep in your head. The bedroom blooms warmer than you remember it ever being, a little slice of summer straight out of both your dreams.

You remember the strawberries from the farmer’s market in the kitchen, and that Leon makes killer Sunday pancakes.

You remember how much you love afternoon catnaps with your limbs tangled between his. Infinite possibilities pile high like the papers on your work desk. So much to get started.

Focus on what matters. The rest will grow back.

You turn the other cheek, and kiss your lover on the mouth.

psst, find more of my work here!

comments and reblogs are very much appreciated <3 take care and i love you!

[youngheejay]

Unusual fights lead to usual love

Where lashing out at your sweet boyfriend wasn’t how you planned your evening but don’t worry - he’ll make it up to you because he can’t stand your tears.

Starring: Jay x fem!reader [established relationship]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You clicked on the contact of your boyfriend. The picture of his profile made you feel a little better before the annoyance and anger started to bubble inside you again.

Why does he have to be so cute?

It truly irked you.

Your eyes skimmed your chat with him. Or more like the messages you sent to him today.

[10:43 am]

< Good morningggg ☀️ >

< have a fun shooting today my love!! ❤️ >

[3:56 pm]

< I’m making dinner for us, so don’t eat with the boys after work ok? >

< feeling really shitty today but I wanted to make you something ❤️ >

< so that you’ll be energised to give me lots and lots of love and cuddles when you come home hihi >

< Need it so badly jjongie 🥺😞 >

[5:00 pm]

< come home safely >

< love you soooo much ❤️❤️ >

[7:34 pm]

< Babe? >

< Aren’t you coming home today early? You promised me you’d finish by 5 :( >

[10:01 pm]

< r u staying at the dorms again tonight? Pls lmk I’m worried. >

That’s the last message you sent to your boyfriend after deciding that you’re not worried anymore and that he can look out for himself.

You sighed - you even called him a few times and you were confused on what to feel.

Usually, when he had a shooting he could spare some time to contact you but today he didn’t.

Also lately, Jay had been acting strangely as his messages during work got less and less. He even started to sleep in his dorms because ‘it was easier for his manager to pick them up all together from the same place to go to work the next morning’.

Since you agreed with him it shouldn’t bother you but still, it made you feel weird that he would rather stay there than at his home with you. He didn’t know that you knew, but two of his fellow members were staying at their own home - that is what their respective girlfriends told you.

Maybe he found some- before you could even finish the thought you quickly shook your head.

Enough with these thoughts. Work had been hectic lately. And he probably forgot his promise to come early to your shared home.

But it was still weird he didn’t text or call you on a shooting day. Meetings or maybe practices you could understand - it could be difficult to find a moment to be on the phone. But it’s Jay - he would find a way for you. Usually.

Hmph.

I don’t care anymore. He’s so mean. Every man on this planet informs his woman except for mine. What an idiot.

That’s what you thought until you heard the familiar beeping of your digital door lock.

You hastily stood up from the couch, almost slipping out of your house shoes. Before Jay could push the door you already teared it open, startling your boyfriend in the process.

“Oh, hi. You still up?”

‘Oh, hi?’ - seriously ?! That’s the first thing he said after you were worried so much??

And that’s all it took for you to loose your mind.

„Why didn’t you tell me you’d be home so late?!“ you said with furrowed eyebrows. Irritation was shown all over your face.

Well, you didn’t actually mean to sound that harsh but you couldn’t help it!

Today just wasn’t a good day.

You weren’t feeling well the whole day. You had just gotten your period and the pain was unbearable. Your hormones were on a rollercoaster, you cried at the tiniest inconvenience and now, apparently, also couldn’t hold back your anger towards your boyfriend.

You waited for him the whole time. After all, you wanted him to give you some comfort and cuddles but ugh! He had the nerve to come home so late!

You felt aggravated that he couldn’t even inform you.

He stepped into the house, shoving you gently to the side: “I’m sorry, baby. But you know how it is when practice runs late,” he calmly explained as he took of his shoes and jacket.

To be honest, Jay tried his best to keep his cool since he was extremely exhausted and just wanted to sleep, not expecting you to shout at him as soon as he entered your home.

All he wanted was to take a shower and relax with you.

His answer exasperated you, “practice?? You told me you had a shooting today,” you frowned angrily.

“Baby… I had a long day, alright? We had a shooting and practice,” and fucking vocal lessons and recordings and some bullshit meeting, he continued in his head. The exhaustion from todays schedule clouded his mind.

He rolled his neck, his gaze falling on the ground as he tried not to fall asleep on the spot.

“Oh wow! Good to know that I didn’t have any fucking clue where my boyfriend was today!” You attacked right back venomously.

“I just wish you’d be a considerate boyfriend who notifies his girlfriend for once!” You added as you spiralled in your anger, slowly but surely aggravating Jay’s patience.

Jay looked up from the ground with dark hooded eyes. With confusion written all over his face, he tried to calm you down: “I said I’m sorry, ok? My phone died.”

“Your phone died? Really?” you said with clear doubt in your tone, having trouble to believe him. You stepped closer to him.

Jay scoffed, “what are you implying, y/n?”

“It’s not really believable that your phone was dead the whole day and that you couldn’t borrow a charger from - I don’t know - maybe your six fellow members or really any of the staff you work with.”

“Are you serious now?!” He exclaimed with a slight hurt tone which you didn’t seem to notice. All you could focus on were his angry furrowed eyebrows, indicating to you that he was caught in act.

“Well, maybe if you were a good boyfriend you’d find another way to inform me! Me! Your girlfriend who’s been waiting for you at home!”

Your yelling didn’t stop here as you went on and on:

“I texted you several times! And even tried to call you but it seems like you’re not even interested in trying to contact me somehow!” You exclaimed as the pitch of your voice went higher and higher.

“Y/N… I-” he rubbed his face in frustration.

Jay had actually a temper himself. But most of the time he tried to be the calm one in your relationship as he knew that you tended to be more emotional driven. Which would also work most of the time - you rarely got into any arguments. He just listened to your rants and always tried his best to adjust to any of your needs. But today you didn’t seem to let go of your attitude as you cut him off.

“What?! I made dinner for us because you told me you’d be back by 5! I just want to eat dinner with you for once and you tell me your phone was dead?! That’s some lame fucking excuse, Jongseong!”

You put a hand on your hip as you were just getting started to let out everything that bothered you today: “And Ju-gyeong told me that you’re going to Japan next week?? Even Jake could inform his - I don’t even know what they are,“ Jay gave you a confused look, not quite following you as you got sidetracked.

Unfortunately, this only irritated you more: “My point is! Even Jake told Jugyeong about your tour but you couldn’t?!!”

You felt your blood pressure rise, “he even fucking texted her that he’ll come late to their fuck-session,” you didn’t mean to share that but your mouth was working faster than your brain, “and I couldn’t even contact you throughout the entire day! So don’t be surprised that I doubt you!”

And you didn’t stop: “And why did you lie telling me that everyone is staying at the dorms?!!Apparently, Heeseung and Sunghoon sleep at their own houses. So why would you stay at the dorms if not everyone is there? And don’t give me a fucking lame excuse again!!”

You just couldn’t hold yourself back. You were having such a bad mood from your cramps and everything, you just let out your frustration.

Your poor boyfriend had to be the victim since he always made you feel like you could share every little thought and feeling with him - which is a good thing most of the times.

But you didn’t consider that you could be also hurting his feelings by saying things you didn’t even mean. Like the next sentence that accidentally slipped your mouth:

“You know what? You’re actually the worst boyfriend ever!!!”

And that’s when Jay snapped.

“Are you fucking serious, y/n?? I just came home from work and the first thing you do is to fucking yell at me??!”

“Well, if you would just talk to me for once you, you-”

Jay cut you off with a loud, anger filled voice: “Enough! Just shut up! You’re giving me a fucking headache!”

The deep and loud bass of his voice made you flinch in response, your eyes widened and your hands started to tremble a little.

You’ve seen your boyfriend angry many times but it was never directed at you. He always talked to you in a calm manner and never snapped at you.

You had to admit, hearing him like this scared you.

But you tried to quickly gather yourself - your own anger dominated your head.

You let out a faux scoff as you tried to cover your fearful reaction: “Me?? Why would I shut up, Jay?! You’re literally-“ Jay cut you off once again.

„Because you’re being really difficult right now, y/n! Quit acting like a child maybe and don’t bother me anymore! For gods sake!“ Jay shouted angrily and walked away heading to the stairs.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at him, “where do you think you’re going? We’re not done yet!”

“We’re done, y/n!” He yelled in frustration. “We’re fucking done.” He repeated quietly as if he was talking to himself.

But you could still hear him. What does he mean by that? He’s not breaking up with you, is he?

Your world halted for a minute. Why would he break up with you? You just had a little fight over nothing, that’s not a good enough reason to end things, right?

Right?

You took a deep breath. Ok, that escalated. You didn’t mean to get so mad at him. But still, you were hurt. Why didn’t he tell you that he’ll be on tour again next week for three whole months? Why did you had to find it out through someone else?

And you knew that you shouldn’t compare your relationship with others but when you were talking with Ju-gyeong on the phone she suddenly told you that she received a sweet text from Jake informing her that he’ll be late tonight and that she shouldn’t worry about him.

Normally, this wouldn’t faze you at all but when she told you about the tour you were already feeling a little sad. Well maybe not a little - you were crying the whole time after you ended the call.

Did he not care about you anymore to tell you important stuff like this? You couldn’t help but let your mind wander off and even questioned Jay’s loyalty towards you. What if he found someone else?

It honestly wouldn’t surprise you. Not because Jay neglected you - not at all, he was actually the perfect partner you always dreamed of. He was well mannered, looked after you, always treated you with respect, cherished you and made you feel so so loved.

No, it wasn’t him who made you wonder if you were even worthy of his love. It was those stupid stupid comments and posts about your idol boyfriend on every platform you scrolled through.

There were so many pretty people who commented about the good looks of your boyfriend and how they hoped that ‘his girlfriend could fight‘ or that ‘his girlfriend is lucky because he’s such a gentleman and sweetheart’.

Well, duh! You knew that! That’s why you’re together with him for more than 3 years!

But what if he also knows that and realises that he deserves someone better than you? What if he leaves you one day for someone who is just as good looking and treats him way better than you do?

So no, it wouldn’t be a surprise if he did leave you one day but it would - to put it in mild words - crush your world literally. You already felt sick to your stomach when you thought of this possibility.

And of course, you knew you should’ve just talked with him about it. About everything that’s been on your mind. The tour, the dorms, the online comments.

Your rational side told you to stop being dramatic and to not let these doubts and fears get to your head. But, somewhere deep inside you, you feared that his answer would hurt you tremendously.

You guess, however, your final straw broke after today’s events and you let out all of your frustration, which was previously trapped somewhere deeply hidden inside your heart.

You truly didn’t think that this fight would escalate like that and that he’d say something like this.

I fucked up real bad.

When you went upstairs to your bedroom, after you decided to follow Jay and make things clear, you heard him taking a shower.

Ok, he wouldn’t be taking a shower if he wanted to break up, right?

You let out a deep breath when you noticed tears flowing down your cheeks.

You tried to be level-headed. This fight wasn’t even that serious. Your relationship is way too serious and secure to end it over a silly fight. You tried to calm yourself down.

Frustrated, you sat down on the edge of your bed and closed your eyes.

God, I’m such an idiot. He’ll definitely leave me because of this.

You sighed, your head hurt, your stomach was cramping - you just wanted to lie down and forget everything. Regret took over your whole body.

I’m so stupid. I’m so stupid.

You covered your face with your hands as your entire body shook from your sobs. You pressed your lips together as you tried to not make any noises, not wanting to bother him any further.

When you heard that the sound of the water splashing stopped you quickly lied down and shuffled far away from Jays side of the bed. Wiping away your tears, you sniffled quietly as you hid yourself with the blanket and pretended to be asleep.

You held your breath as you heard him rummaging around your room, probably getting dressed for bed. And when you heard the door click you thought he would join you in bed but you were wrong.

The next thing you knew, you heard footsteps on the other side of the door and after a while you heard your front door close.

Did he just leave like that?

You panicked. You quickly stood up and went to your hallway, your eyes searched for his shoes but they were nowhere to be found.

Tears formed in your eyes as you fell down on your knees and started sobbing yet again.

Did your boyfriend of three years just leave you like that? Without even saying anything to you? You couldn’t believe it.

Uneven gasps left your mouth as you couldn’t control your sobs. You knew that this fight was your fault but still! How could he do this to you? You thought he loved you after all.

Why am I so stupid? He clearly had a tough day and I should be the one who gives him comfort and a safe place when he comes home.

No wonder he’d rather stay at the dorms than here, with me.

Your sobs grew louder and louder. After sitting there for about 15 minutes your headache became stronger and you went back to your bed.

You tried to ignore the emptiness of your shared bed by lying yet again far away from his side and by not facing it.

You closed your eyes but your tears didn’t stop. Your mind was racing, thinking about Jay.

Suddenly, you heard the beeping of your doorlock causing you to open your eyes. You froze on the spot as you recognised Jay’s footsteps heading upstairs.

Yet again, you held onto your breath trying to make no noises when he opened your bedroom door. You shut your eyes and listened to his every move actively. When you heard him settling beside you, you couldn’t help but feel the guilt and sadness eat you up.

You could’ve been cuddling with him now. Ugh, this is so stupid but you couldn’t turn around and tell him you’re sorry just like - you fucked up too bad for that.

Out of nowhere, you felt Jays hand rest on your waist. His warmth and tender touch brought new tears to your eyes as you continued to pretend to be sleeping.

“I know you’re awake.” Jay said quietly with a rasp in his voice. His voice sounded like he just spent some time crying.

Shame and sadness took over your whole being. I made him cry, you thought regretfully.

You took his hand and pushed it off of your waist. You were too embarrassed and ashamed of yourself to face him now.

But Jay wasn’t having any of it as he yet again snaked his whole arm around your waist and pulled your body easily to his firm chest. You tried to wiggle away but he encircled his other arm around your body, holding you down with a strength you couldn’t fight.

He buried his face in the back of your neck, leaving small kisses all over it. Your heart melted at his action.

„Hmm… you’re my whole world, you know that,” he murmured against your skin, making your heart race as a blush crept up your neck, “my lovely precious girl.”

“My sweet sweet flower,” he pulled you closer to him as he sweet talked to you, “why are we fighting, baby? I just want to cuddle my love.“

Suddenly, you turned around and buried your face in his chest. You clutched onto his shirt as you began to sob loudly in his embrace.

„I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” You cried so hard that your whole body was shaking in his hold.

“Babe… my love…” he sighed softly and started caressing your back in hopes to calm you down.

“Why are you crying? Don’t cry, hm..? You’re breaking my heart, babygirl,” he spoke softly as he pressed a gentle kiss on your forehead. Feeling his soft lips on you caused warmth and safety to spread throughout your whole body.

Jay felt himself tear up a little at the sound of your crying. He put one hand on your head and pushed it further against his chest. The other encircled your waist impossibly tighter as he tangled your legs with his own - your bodies almost melted together.

You couldn’t respond to him as you further snuggled into his chest, wetting his shirt with your tears.

“Shh, it’s ok. I’m here, hm? Don’t worry I’m here,” he patted your head lovingly.

“I- I thought you left me just now,” you mumbled so softly and quietly against his chest that he couldn’t even understand you.

“I’m sorry, princess, I couldn’t quite catch that. Please repeat that for me, my love,” he spoke ever so tenderly and with upmost love and affection reflecting in his voice.

You looked up to him and his heart broke at the sight of your crying face. Your eyes were reddish, your cheeks were wet and a hue of pink shimmered on your nose from all the crying.

He put his hand, which was previously patting your head, on your cheek. It encouraged you to speak again.

“When I heard you leave just now, I thought you le- left me because you said ‘we’re done’,” you hiccuped, your whole body shook yet again because of the anxiety you felt at the thought of him breaking up with you.

“Babe.. aw my precious girl,” he pulled your head back to his chest as he snuggled his cheek on the top of your head.

“You’re so cute, you know that? When you cry like this. It truly breaks my heart,” he put a kiss on your hair, rubbing his hand on your back again.

“Hm? Don’t cry, my darling. I would never leave you, baby, you know that, hm?” he cooed at you as if you were a baby - his baby.

“We’ll never break up, honey. Especially not because of a silly fight. This relationship with you is it for me. I’m gonna marry you one day and we’ll grow old together - you know this, baby. Why’d you think something like this, sweetheart?”

“I- I-“ you sniffled lightly, having trouble to express your emotions, “I don’t know. You never yelled at me. I don’t know,” you repeated, “I think I got scared because I was really mean to you.“

You tried to calm yourself down but you couldn’t help and sob quietly when you muttered: “and then you said we’re done and left me just like that. I thought you were angry at me and meant that our relationship is done.” You clutched onto his shirt as tightly as you could.

“Oh Baby…“ he put his forehead against yours and caressed your cheek with his thumb, “I just didn’t want to fight with you, baby. I was just really exhausted and I’m sorry I talked to you like that.”

He kissed your nose as he continued, “that was wrong of me. And I’m not angry at you. We’re good, babygirl.”

He kissed your temple as he put your face against his neck, trying to calm you down. Which really helped - you felt like a heavy weight was lifted off of your heart. In response you wrapped your own arms around his torso.

“I only went outside to take out the trash and then I felt like the weather was refreshing. So I took a walk to calm down. I really regretted how I spoke to you. I’m your boyfriend after all, I should make you feel loved and protected. Not scared…” he whispered the last sentence as he felt a lump forming in his throat.

He cleared his throat, “I shouldn’t have told you to shut up. I’m really, deeply sorry. Please forgive me, princess.” He took your hand and kissed the back of, then held it firmly against his chest.

“Hm?” he put his chin on your head and closed his eyes, waiting for your response.

When he didn’t hear anything from you for a moment he got worried. “Baby?”, he leaned slightly back to look at your face as he brought his fingers to your chin in order to lift it up.

But you quickly tightened your grasp around him and hid your face in his chest. That’s when Jay realised that you started to cry again.

Jays concern grew bigger as his eyebrows furrowed in worry, „y/n? What’s wrong? Did I say something wrong?“

You let out a quiet sob and shook your head. „No,“ you answered.

„My love, please tell what’s wrong so I can fix it, hm?“ he requested ever so gently and rubbed your arm.

You looked up to him, your eyes were shiny and adorably big and your lips formed a small pout as the guilt and regret grew bigger.

“This fight was totally my fault, Jay. I shouldn’t have talked to you like that. Especially not if you just came home from work. I shouldn’t have doubted you. I should be the one apologising but you’re too good for me,” your tears streamed down your face and Jay’s crease between his eyebrows grew bigger.

“I think you did the best in that situation otherwise it would’ve escalated further if you wouldn’t have ended it, Jay. So please don’t apologise. Please forgive me,” you sniffled.

“It’s ok, baby. Sometimes when I get irritated and feel my blood boil you just have this magic in you where you immediately calm me down. I should’ve done the same to you but I was just exhausted from todays schedule I couldn’t contain myself. And it’s also my fault because I gave you reasons to be mad. I’m sorry for everything. Let’s just forget everything today. Ok, my love?”

Jay hoped that this would help you calm down entirely so that you could spend the rest of the night in peace together.

You shook your head again. You were tired from all the crying, but still, you just couldn’t hold the tears back in front of your boyfriend.

“Stop apologising, Jay!“ You whined. “This fight was entirely on me, you’re making it worse!”

„Sorry,“ he chuckled to annoy you and to lift up your mood. You just snuggled further into him as a response.

“Let’s talk about it then, baby. Tell me everything that bothered you,” he pushed your hair behind your ear as he looked in your eyes with nothing but love and patience.

You bit your lips and your eyes wandered elsewhere, avoiding his.

“Y/n.“ he demanded in a soft tone.

“I didn’t tell you I’ll be late today, hm? That’s what bothered my princess? From now on I’ll let you know, ok?“ You nodded quietly in response.

„But babe,“ he chuckled softly while he caressed your hair again lovingly, „I already told you that my phone died. And usually you don’t really mind when practice runs late. Tell me what’s really wrong,“ he just knew you too well.

„I just,“ you took deep breath as you tried to stabilise your voice, “I felt really awful today because, you know, I told you… I got my period and you know how I need you to cuddle with me especially when it’s the first day. And then I prepared dinner for us even though I wasn’t feeling good but I wanted to because we never eat dinner together… but when you didn’t show up it just broke something in me I guess…” you blinked your tears away.

You looked at Jay but he was already gazing at you with the softest eyes. He gave you the reassurance that he was listening. He repositioned you two, now you were lying on top of him and snuggled your face in the crook of his neck as he was on his back.

“I’m sorry, that was stupid of me. I had in my mind that I needed to be home early but we were so caught up in our schedules, I didn’t even realise it was past 10. We were so busy, I honestly forgot that I had a phone and a girl waiting for me,” you chuckled at his silliness, “when I realised how late it had gotten, I thought you’d already be sleeping so I didn’t even bother to charge my phone. Who else would I need it for other than my girl?” He spoke softly.

You pouted at him, “you’re so cute.” You kissed his cheek lovingly, when regret clouded your heart.

The corner of your lips went down, “I’m sorry for saying you were lying. That was so wrong of me, please forgive me.” Your eyes glistened with nothing but sorrow and regret.

“It’s ok, baby.” Jay reassured you, still unsatisfied with the sad look on your face.

“And then? What happened that you were so upset, princess?”

“And then I - I don’t know - I saw these comments online talking about how great you are and it made me insecure that maybe I’m not good enough for you and that’s why you didn’t bother to contact me.”

Jay had to hold himself back from interrupting you and to tell you to stop thinking such nonsense, but he let you have this moment to pour your heart out.

“I now know that you couldn’t, but at that moment it just got too much. Because the other day I went to a café date with Minju and Sooyun - you know the cute café with the cute rose petal cups that I wanted to find?” Jay hummed, reminding himself in his mind to buy them for you, allowing you to continue, “that day, we were just talking and I told them I don’t see you so often because you sleep in the dorms. Then they told me that their boyfriends never go to the dorms, they looked at me with such a pity look. It just felt weird, like I exposed your secret and they felt bad for me. Why-“

You bit your lip, hesitating to continue your question. “Why would you sleep there when the others don’t?” you asked in small tone as your heart started to beat a little faster.

While Jay stroked your hair he spoke softly: “Baby, everyone sleeps there nowadays except for those two selfish idiots. Heeseung Hyung is just being a stubborn idiot who likes to make life harder for our manager and Hoon’s apartment is nearby our dorm. That’s why they don’t stay there. Well, Hee Hyung did sleep for one night and then he had a fight with Jungwon. Maybe Sooyun forgot that in the moment.”

“Minju’s apartment is not near your dorms,” you stated confused.

“Baby, Hoon’s home is. Not Minju’s.”

“They don’t share a home?”

“No, I think they use both of their apartments and take turns, or something.”

“Oh,” you truly felt embarrassed.

“I’m-“ Jay put a finger on your lips shushing you, “no apologies no more. It’s okey, misunderstandings happen. That’s why we’re the best team on this earth because we make everything clear.” You nodded shyly.

“What else did you wanna talk about?”

“Uh, nothing-“ you then remembered the one big thing.

Of course your boyfriend noticed the hesitation and shift in your voice. He raised an eyebrow, demanding an answer.

You nuzzled your face against his neck again, sadness taking over you yet again for nth time this day.

“You’re going on tour next week…? Jugyeong told me today. I pretended that I already knew - but you have no idea how devastated I was, jjongie,” you said his nickname with so much pain in your voice that he couldn’t help but close his eyes in regret.

You sniffled quietly and clenched onto his shirt, “after that she got so excited because Jake texted her ‘so sweetly’ that he’ll be late for their date. I don’t know, I guess I was jealous? And then I got mad… I know it makes no sense but I was just hurt.”

“It made me feel like I’m not important enough for you.”

Jay’s heart broke at this sentence.

“Don’t say something like that, princess,” he kissed your head, “you’re the most important person in my life. And I’m sorry I made you feel the opposite.”

“why didn’t you tell me about the tour, jjongie? Why?”

He sighed softly, “It’s just… I didn’t tell you because you always get so sad whenever I have to leave for a long period of time. And I always feel like I failed you and our relationship whenever I have to leave you alone.”

“So what was your great master plan? Telling me one night before?”

When you didn’t hear a response from Jay you lifted your head to look at him.

Then you saw a sheepish smile spread over his stupid yet cute face. His expression resembled a child who was caught by his grandma stealing a candy from the kitchen drawer.

“Jay!” You exclaimed in disbelief. “Are you for real?”

“Babeee…” he whined childishly,

“I don’t know what my plan was. I just didn’t want to make you sad - that’s all I know. Whenever I had the chance to tell you - I couldn’t. You always are so happy and beaming so brightly, I just didn’t want to ruin your mood. Please don’t be mad.” He nuzzled your cheek with his nose.

“But! I am mad, Jongseong! Of course I’ll be sad when you leave me whether it be for three months or three hours. I like having you around me!”

“I’m glad to hear that,” he grinned as he put your head back to his chest.

You huffed, “I want you to share every little thing with me, jjongie. No matter how sad or mad I’ll be, that’s why you’re here with me, right? You always know what to do to make me happy again. And even if you don’t - you alone are enough to give me comfort and happiness.” You pressed a kiss on his clothed chest as you rested your chin on the same spot to look at him again.

“From now on you have to share every information you have from your company immediately with me. On the same day as you get it. Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He pulled your body upwards so that your face lied directly next to his. His arms were wrapped around your body, meanwhile your hand rested on his chest.

Then he lowered his voice, “I already have my schedules for the upcoming year, should I show you?”

“Not now, jjongie. I still need to process the news from today,” you chuckled sadly.

“Can I kiss you now? I’ve been waiting the whole day.” You didn’t verbally respond to that as you just leaned in with closed eyes.

Jay kissed you slowly and sensually, trying to convey his apology and love for you in a way he couldn’t do with words.

You felt safe and protected, caged in his arms like that. The kiss expressed nothing but pure love and devotion.

“I love you, you know that, right?” He murmured against your lips.

“Hm,” you couldn’t quite response as he didn’t wait and entered his tongue inside your mouth. One of his hand laid now on your jaw and guided you. You quickly realised that this kiss had a faster tempo and tried to catch up.

Needing a quick break from the kiss-turned-into-a-makeout, you pulled away slightly.

But his kisses didn’t stop as he kissed you all over your jaw and neck.

As he did so he changed your position by laying you completely flat on your back while he went on top of you.

Pushing the blanket aside, he supported himself by resting one of his arm next your head whilst his other hand went down to hold your waist.

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” he mumbled as he left wet kisses on your cleavage.

He leaned into you as you felt his warm minty breath against your lips, “don’t ever doubt our relationship, baby. And before I forget-“ he leaned back slightly to look at your face properly and squeezed your face with a firm hand, giving your squished pouty face a stern look: “from now on you’re on a social media ban. No comments or contents. Don’t mind those comments, they don’t know me like you do. You’re perfect for me. And no fight will break us apart. Even death won’t do us apart. Alright?”

You nodded slightly as you tried to suppress the lump in your throat. However, a single tear escaped your eye, exposing yourself.

Jay kissed away the tear. “Good girl,“ he whispered as he let go of you face and attacked it with several kisses - on your nose, on your temples, your eyelids, and lastly, he kissed your lips.

You kissed him back and encircled your arms around his neck, pushing him further down to express your need for him.

He hummed against your lips in satisfaction and let his hand wander underneath your shirt to caress your bare stomach - leaving goosebumps all over it.

His hand then travelled down your ass, squeezing it lovingly.

“Jjongie-“ you gasped in surprise.

���Let me make it up to you, my baby. Let me show you how truly sorry and regretful I am,” his kisses trailed down to your cleavage again.

You wanted to protest - but he didn’t give you any chance to speak up as he started to suck on your nipple through the thin fabric of your top. You relaxed in his hold and sighed so softly, “feels so good.”

Since you prepared yourself for bed earlier you didn’t wear a bra which resulted in making you feel every movement of his mouth - and his tongue.

You stuttered his name in a quiet moan, “J- Jay,” and closed your eyes to feel every tingle rushing throughout your body.

Unconsciously, you tangled your hands in his hair and pressed his face into your boobs.

Just as he was about to hook his finger around your pyjamas to pull it down you stopped him by grabbing his hand, “w- wait!”

He gave you a questioning look - confused at your sudden movement.

“I’m sorry! I totally forgot that I’m on my period.” You pouted sadly.

He gave you a cocky smirk, “well, that didn’t stop us before.” He raised his eyebrows in amusement but didn’t make any movement to continue.

He actually did the opposite - he pushed your pyjama and top back to place and laid back next to you. After covering you both with the warm blanket, he cuddled you just like you had been doing before.

“That was one time,” you said in a scolding tone, feeling your neck and ears heat up.

“And it was in the beginning of our relationship! How do you even remember this? At that time we hadn’t seen each other for a few months, ok? I think it was 4 months,” you started to ramble, “or was it 3? And if I remember correctly, it was a huge mess. And, you know, that’s not healthy. Actually I read somewhere-“

Before you could continue, Jay put his hand along your jaw and pressed his thumb against your lips, making you shut up. You were flustered, to say the least.

“It’s okay, baby, I was just teasing you. I forgot it myself,” he glided his thumb across your lip.

You took his hand in your own and pecked his lips.

“I’ll reserve the energy and gladly fuck you into oblivion next week before I leave,” he whispered against your lips, catching you off guard.

“Jongseong!” You exclaimed. Flabbergasted at his boldness, you hit his chest with your palm.

“What?” He poked your side with a teasing smile, “why are you acting so shy now?”

You didn’t reply to him - you were too embarrassed, even after all those years of his teasings. You hid your face in the crook of his neck as you cuddled further into him.

When he started to rub your lower stomach the atmosphere shifted quickly into a cozy one.

“Does this feel good?” He asked in a soothing tone after a couple of minutes passed.

You hummed, “it’s making me sleepy,” closing your eyes.

“Hm? My girl is so strong. Sleep tight, baby. You cried a lot today, you should rest,” he kissed your forehead, worried that you might get a headache.

Suddenly, you disturbed the silence.

“Jjongie?” you whispered.

“Hm?”

“I didn’t mean that earlier, you know? You’re the best boyfriend I never ever even dared to imagine. I’ll work on my temper,” you mumbled sadly, full of regret thinking about your words earlier.

Jay had to think for a few seconds as he didn’t understand what you were talking about at first.

When it clicked, his embrace around you got tighter, “I know you didn’t mean it. Don’t worry your pretty little head over nothing.”

He caressed your head in order to help you fall asleep when he whispered: “I’ll try to communicate with you better.”

“‘s oke,” you mumbled sleepily.

“Love you ver’ much jjong’,“ you muttered incoherently.

He pressed a kiss on your head again and murmured against it: “I love you more, my love.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[inkskinned]

yesterday while feverish i wrote about how boats can moor next to each other like pigeons, cooing with the gentle rap of water against their hull. you once said that that the way i see things - birds in the water, feathers in marina paint - was "childish and naive." you said i'd been misdiagnosed - "it can't all be adhd. you might be just kind of stupid and lazy."

i still do certain things like how you taught me - turn the pillow case inside out before putting it on. drive defensively. hate myself entirely.

the prompt for this poem is "mahler's fifth." i wish it wasn't, but mahler's fifth was our song. it ended up in my book. every person that knows your name has promised me they'll give you one swift rabbit punch, right to the face. dean read the book and showed up on my front porch, drenched in sweat from running the 8 miles at 4 in the morning. he was shaking. pacifist and gentle - he works with children - i'd never seen him furious. a punch isn't going to do it, he said, and then said i'm sorry. i had to come to see if you were okay.

mahler's fifth was mine first, like my girlhood. i like the way each movement piles onto the next movement, each instrument bleeding into the next. i like the horn version the best. before i met you, i danced to it on grass still-wet from sprinklers.

later you would tell me that the way you heard it was somehow better. you understood something in it that i couldn't quite wrap my fingers into. once, on our anniversary, you asked the classical music radio station to play it for us. we missed hearing it because we were fighting. one of the things people get wrong about abuse is that sometimes victims are, like, brutally aware of the stupidity of our situation. what do you mean that you thought i wasn't good enough for you? you? you're just... nothing.

sometimes people can pull the poetry out of your life. i watched my words become clothesline, and then thin out into kite twine. i watched you chew through every good syllable of me. so many good songs and places and moments were ruined. i am glad you didn't like most of my music - less to tie back to you.

but still mahler's fifth. the music swells, and i am 21 and throwing up in a bathroom on my birthday. a woman i will later refer to as lesbian jesus runs a cool hand down my back, her perfect pantsuit starch-pressed. she told me to leave you. she said - and this is true, and not an invention of rhyme or fantasy - i'm you from the future.

i am 22, and i got home from an award ceremony, and i remember you telling me - you act so proud of yourself when you're actually so fucking embarrassing. i took you to disney world. you took my virginity. i gave up visiting spain for a week with my family - i instead choose you, to spend the time just-cuddling. you called it "our fuck week." the music swells. it probably should have been a red flag that for about 3 years - i just gave up on crying. my grandfather died and you said nothing. my uncle died and you ghosted me for 3 weeks. you said i need to protect myself from your ongoing tragedy.

every so often i come back to the memory of one of our last afternoons in person. i had just told you that i wasn't going to law school, despite the free ride - i was going to join a creative writing program. master's in fine arts. i was going to finally do it - i was going to follow my dreams. this blog was already internet-famous. however reluctantly, i would occasionally refer to myself as a poet. i got into umass amherst's writing program for fiction authors. it is one of the the top 5 programs in the country.

wait are you seriously considering actually attending that? dumbfounded, you turned completely towards me in your seat. for the 3rd time in our relationship, you almost crashed the car. you actually want to be a writer?

the first time i went viral, it was for a poem i wrote about you:

he wants to say i love you but keeps it to goodnight because love will take some falling and she's afraid of heights.

every time i see that, i want to throw up. you weren't in love with me, you were in love with the control you had over me. a little truth though: i am afraid of heights. you caught a rabbitgirl and skinned her alive.

mahler's fifth still makes me sick.

give me that back. give me back music. give me back everything i had before you. give me back fearlessness. give me back bravery. give me back a scarless body.

give me back what you took from me.

[gurugirl]

3. The Unicorn | nanny!yn

Unicorn: An individual who is willing to join an existing romantic relationship. Usually a bisexual female.

Summary: The aftermath of that fateful night has lots of consequences. Not all of them are bad.

A/N: This is the final part! Based on this and this.

Word Count: 11.7k

Warning: 18+ only, smut, angst, mentions of divorce

The Unicorn Masterlist

You had to admit. The ensuite bathroom was really nice. But you couldn’t imagine enjoying the soaker tub with jets and soft fluffy towels as you stared at yourself in the mirror. You took off your little pearl choker as tears continued to fall down your cheeks and you removed your sweater and skirt. It all felt so pointless. You had wasted so much time fretting over your outfit and matching it to your pearl choker and your pretty panties all for everything to just blow up completely. Now your favorite pink pearl choker was tainted and you’d probably never want to wear it again.

You should have said no to the proposition. You knew you should have listened to your gut. It was going to blow up and someone was going to get hurt.

Your night shorts and matching top were soft on your skin but you hated it because you’d also chosen this set with the thought that both Kit and Harry might see it. But you’d be sure they never did.

Setting your alarm for 5:00 am you climbed into the luxurious bed and rolled to your side hoping you could get some sleep so you could turn your brain off as you replayed every moment in your head over and over again.

.           .           .          

“I don’t want to talk about it right now, Harry,” Kit insisted.

“She can’t hear us in here, love. Come on. Let’s work something out. Things didn’t go like we thought… right? We don’t need to do it again.”

“I just… I need some space, H. That was a lot. I guess I didn’t expect it to feel that way. I can’t talk about it right now, though. I need to sleep on it. Away from you. I know I’ll feel better in the morning.”

Harry nodded and grabbed his wife’s hand, “I love you, Kitty. You know that right? I love you so much. You are the most important person to me in the world.”

Kit attempted a weak smile as she pulled her hand away and tucked herself into the blankets, “Can you turn the light off when you leave the room?”

.           .           .

Harry had been unable to sleep at all. The couch wasn’t a great spot to sleep but more than that, he was feeling guilty and trying to figure out how to fix the problem. He didn’t want you to feel bad, you hadn’t done anything wrong. But he did need to support his wife first and foremost. He’d need to insist she apologize and put it behind her but he didn’t want his wife to feel like he was taking your side either. Even though, in a way, he kind of was. You were the innocent party in all this. He’d gotten carried away. You both just clicked. The chemistry between you was impenetrable. So much so that he nearly forgot about his wife being there and said some things he didn’t really mean.

When he heard light footfalls coming down the stairs and then saw the outline of your frame as you rushed toward the door he shot up from the couch and hurried toward you, “Y/n?”

You closed your eyes and stopped in your tracks. You hoped he was asleep and that you could leave without him knowing.

He put his hands on your shoulders as he stood behind you and spoke quietly, “Are you okay to drive?” He knew he wasn’t going to be able to talk you into staying. Though in his mind, the best-case scenario was that the three of you could sit and talk and move on from the disaster of what had happened the night before. Maybe over coffee and waffles. He knew that was unlikely but he had hoped.

“I’m fine now. I just want to get out of here. I feel awful,” you turned yourself to look up at him in the dark.

“You don’t need to feel bad, honey. You didn’t do anything wrong. I need you to understand that.”

“I just need to go. You’ve been so nice to me. Thank you, Harry. For everything. Tell Kit how awful I feel and that I’m so sorry and never meant to hurt her.”

Harry frowned, “Don’t worry. Kit will feel better when she wakes up. I’ll talk to her. But you don’t owe anyone an apology.”

He put his arms around you and held you against his chest in a sweet hug. You could feel the thud of his heart under his pecs and inhaled his scent. You’d miss him. You’d miss Kit too. You’d especially miss William and Warner.

.           .           .

When you didn’t show up on Monday morning at the Styles’ house both Kit and Harry knew what was going on.

Kit had planned on apologizing to you for her behavior in person. She’d even planned to go to work a bit late that morning so all three of you could try and work it out. She was still feeling a bit betrayed by Harry and having a hard time unseeing and hearing what she had, but she knew her conduct had been out of line. She was acting on pure emotion and the wine exasperated her reaction. But that was no excuse.

“I can work from home today,” Harry said.

Kit shook her head, “I feel awful. I hurt her feelings. I was such a bitch to her and she didn’t deserve it. Maybe I should text her. Or go to her apartment and apologize to her face-to-face? What do you think? The least I can do is apologize for how I treated her.”

Harry pursed his lips, “Let me text her. See if she’ll come over later when you get home. I’ll tell her we’d like to talk and that you want to apologize.”

Sighing, Kit closed her eyes, “Don’t text her. I will. This is something I need to fix.”

He decided he’d let his wife figure out how she needed to approach the issue but he was worried it was too late. He was worried he’d never see you again and that would be it. You were totally justified in ghosting them both. Plus the semester would be starting up again for you in a couple of weeks and the boys would be back in school during the day so it felt futile to beg for you to come back.

And that’s exactly what you thought too. You were about to head into the new fall semester to start on your master’s degree and the boys were going back to school. You had hoped you’d still be able to watch the twins when Harry and Kit wanted a weekend away or a night off for a few extra bucks during the school year but there was absolutely no way you’d be able to face either Kit or Harry again.

You were sure Kit hated you with every fiber of her being. Which kind of made you angry the more you sat with what had happened. As sad as you were and as bad as you felt, you knew Harry was right. Nothing that happened was actually your fault.

Distracting yourself from what had happened Saturday night had been difficult because it was all so fresh. You knew with some time you’d get over it and move on but you were sure there would be some damage there. Netflix, long walks, lots of sleep, and pints of ice cream seemed to help a little.

But still, the moment that you couldn’t erase from your memory was when you were on their bed as Harry had just finished himself on your back and Kit yelled at him to make you leave all while you were still naked and floaty. Humiliating. But more than that, you started to realize, that what Kit did was uncalled for and mean. She had been mean to you and that made you angry.

So you were surprised when you saw a text from her on Monday afternoon. With an apology.

I hope you’re doing okay. I just wanted to reach out and tell you how sorry I am for how I acted Saturday night. I had hoped to talk to you this morning about it so I could do this in person, and I would still like to apologize to you in person if you’d let me. I understand if you’re not comfortable with it but if you are, I’ll be at Davanti’s on Fresno Street at 3:30 pm. I’ll be alone and plan to stay for an hour.

It was 2 pm. You needed to decide if you wanted to hear her out or just move on. Could you look at her again? Would you simply break down and cry the moment you saw her? Maybe it would be better if you requested Harry to be there? Or perhaps you should just ignore her and be done with it.

But you figured opting for closure would be better in the end. For you and probably for Kit as well.

I’ll be there.

You found a spot to park on the street a few blocks away so you could get some fresh air and stretch your legs before going inside. And also just in case you suddenly decided you didn’t want to go through with it, you could turn around and leave without having Kit seeing you.

But you didn’t change your mind and when you walked into the restaurant you saw Kit sitting at a booth looking down at her phone with a glass of wine in front of her.

You slid in across from her and she startled slightly before placing her phone face down, “Y/n! You came. Thank you.” She smiled. She looked hopeful and sweet.

Nodding you smiled back, “Of course.”

Kit looked at your hands and then out into the restaurant before back to you, “Would you like anything to drink or eat? It’s on me if you want–“

“No. That’s fine. I’ll just have a water when the server comes by. Not really hungry.”

She sat for a moment and blinked her eyes as she looked at you softly, “I am so sorry, Y/n. I know me just saying that can’t erase what I did. I wasn’t prepared to see him like that with anyone and I took it out on you. I’ll never forgive myself for the way I acted.”

You nodded and looked down at the table. You figured she would eventually forgive herself. Because that’s why she was there wanting to apologize to you in person. She wanted to feel better about what had happened and this was her way of doing that. So, while she would forgive herself eventually, despite saying she wouldn’t, you would never forget what happened to you that night. How she treated you, demeaned you. How it made you feel disgusted with yourself and Harry and her all at once. The horror you felt when the worst possible outcome happened.

“Can you ever forgive me?” She finally said which made you look up at her.

“I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. I’m not really sure how I even feel right now about it. I still need time to negotiate all of this in my head first.”

Kit spread her fingers out on the table and looked down at her hand, “I understand that. I don’t deserve to be forgiven,” she sighed and looked back at you, “I wanted to try something new with Harry. I’ve been so… just trying to figure out how to make myself feel that thing I used to feel for him, ya know?” She laughed and shook her head, “He’s just so… male. I mean he’s sweet and gentle and attractive but in bed, he wants something I can’t give him, and vice versa. And now that the twins are older we get more privacy and can get back into being a little more explorative, and it’s made me really miss how things were when I was single and dating women. I know that sounds awful,” she bit the inside of her cheek, “But I’ve just been reaching for something that I’m never going to be able to have with Harry alone. But turns out,” she laughed, “funnily enough, that I don’t like him with anyone else or feeling that passion with someone else that I wanted to feel. I wanted to feel that with you. But that’s selfish of me. I’m all messed up right now,” she stitched her brows together and you could see how glassy her eyes were, “I’m sorry to dump that on you. That’s not fair to you.”

You nodded. You didn’t know what to say in response. She shouldn’t have told you any of that. That was true. And now you just felt bad for Harry that his wife was seeking something to fill in where she thought he lacked. But all you could think was that he was everything anyone would ever want and yet Kit didn’t even see that somehow.

“I wanted to also give you this. From the boys.” She handed you a small homemade booklet with drawings on it from both William and Warren. You flipped through the pages of marker and pen, drawings and stories written to go with each drawing.

You looked up at Kit with appreciation, “Thank you for this. Tell them I love it. I’ll read it every day.” You hadn’t wanted to cry. Hadn’t wanted to show Kit how sensitive and soft you were. She’d already watched you cry that night and now here you were with tears in your eyes again that you simply could not hold back.

“If you ever want to stop by and say hi to them you could. Or even just send me or Harry a text to tell them hi. They love you so much, Y/n. You’re so good with them. And I wanted to…” she paused as she looked at you with a sudden weight that hadn’t been there just before, “If anything ever, um…” she wavered her gaze from your face to the area behind your head and back, “Never mind. Just know how much both Harry and I trust you and would love for you to still come around to see them if you ever wanted.”

.           .           .

When you returned to university things started to feel better. You still got caught with feelings of dread and were reminded of the way you felt that night. Of course, Kit had apologized and that was really all you could ask for after it had all been said and done. But it didn’t stop you from zoning out in the shower with thoughts of putting your pink pearl choker on before you went to their home that night. The giddiness you felt beforehand that was torn away from you so viciously only hours later. Now you couldn’t even look at the necklace. It was tucked away in its soft velvet bag in your panties drawer.

And you couldn’t stop thinking of Harry either. You missed him a lot too. But that feeling was mixed with a confusing heartsickness. It wasn’t that you were in love with him or anything. But you had crushed on him for a while and got to experience him in bed and that was. You couldn’t describe it because you tried not to think about it too much. The more you dwelled on the way he handled you and looked at you, the way he spoke to you… it gave you shivers and the unfortunate thing was that you’d never have the pleasure to know that again.

But again, you weren’t in love or anything close to it. It was just a sense of loss more than anything. 

After your first month back at school was down you were invited out to a local bar with some of your classmates and friends. Something fun for everyone to let loose a little. And god did you deserve to blow off a little steam.

You would have preferred a club with some awful dancing and too much liquor, to be honest, but darts in a dark bar with pitchers of beer and friends sounded quite nice too.

Jax bought the first pitcher as the rest of you claimed a nice table close to the dart boards at the back of the bar. It was a Friday night so the place got packed not long after you’d arrived.

You lost badly at the first game which meant the next pitcher of beer was on you. You frowned exaggeratedly at the rule that the loser buys the beer, but the truth was that you were feeling amazing. It was nice to not be sitting at home thinking about things that you shouldn’t be. The distraction was welcome. Being out with friends was refreshing.

Waving at the bartender you placed the empty pitcher down and dug into your front pocket for some cash to pay your turn. But a sudden feeling came over you. Like you were being watched. Or noticed at least. You casually looked to your right and then to your left but you saw no one looking at you. And no one looked familiar.

“Another pitcher of beer?” The bartender asked, bringing your attention back to him.

“Oh! Yes, please.”

With that strange feeling crawling its way up your spine you turned slowly and looked back at your friends and then across the bar to the table next to the window.

You jolted and felt your scalp prick and fingertips sizzle when you made eye contact with him. Harry. He was seated at a high-top table. He appeared to be alone.

He lifted a hand in greeting before bringing it back down to grasp his pint and looked out the window.

You hadn’t even become unfrozen from the shock of seeing him by the time the bartender was back with your pitcher. You settled up with him and looked to where Harry was seated. He didn’t look back at you. You wondered how long he’d been there. Had he seen you before you walked up to the bar?

“Hey, here’s the pitcher,” you placed it at the center of the table. “I’m gonna sit this game out. Someone I know is here and I’m gonna go say hi.”

After refilling your glass you hesitantly made your way to Harry. The least you could do was say hi. You had wondered about him all this time and had been tempted to text him a time or two but never felt it was right.

“Hi.” You stood next to his table, at a safe distance in case he wasn’t interested in talking.

He pulled his gaze away from whatever he was looking at outside to you, “Hi, Y/n.”

“I was, uh, surprised to see you. I don’t want to bother you. I just–“

“Sit if you want,” he gestured at the other stool. So obviously you did, placing your glass on the table and keeping your eyes on him.

Harry took a sip of his beer and his eyes were as deep and full of warmth as ever.

“How have you been?” You asked. You didn’t really know what to say to him. Which was silly when you thought about it.

“Things are complicated at home. But I’m okay. How are you?”

You shrugged as you took a drink from your glass, “Good. School’s been good. Here for a night without worrying about homework and quizzes. Just needed a night out with some friends.”

He nodded and leaned forward, resting his forearms onto the lacquered wooden tabletop, caging in his beer, “I’ve wanted to text you to see how you were doing but figured you wouldn’t want to hear from me again after what happened.”

You pinched your brows together and shook your head, “That’s not… I wish you would have. I wanted to text you a few times too. Just to check-in. I’ve missed you guys.”

“The boys really miss you. They talk about you still. I mean…” he rotated his arm so his palm was face up in a passive gesture, “it hasn’t been that long since– well, anyway.”

You smiled, “I miss them a lot. Hey, did Warner ever finish learning that song on the piano you were teaching him? He was doing so well learning the parts. I kind of hoped to hear him complete it but then…” you didn’t dare finish that sentence.

Harry grinned. It was the first genuine smile you’d seen from him since you approached him.

“Yeah. He’s pretty much got it down now. I’m really proud of him. He’s gonna be starting guitar and singing lessons soon. He wants to learn so he can start a band with some friends so I encouraged him to take lessons.”

“Takes after his father. Musically talented.” You gleamed at Harry.

Harry gulped the lump down his throat. He had really missed you around. But he’d been quite caught up in the aftermath of that night with Kit ever since. That night had changed everything.

“Ahh, I just dabble. Warner has real natural talent.”

You couldn’t be sure but you thought the apples of his cheeks were turning a shade pinker than they had been.

“I’ve heard you play the piano and sing. I’d say you have plenty of natural talent, Harry.”

You meant it too. He had a beautiful voice full of dark timbre and vibrant airy notes. And of course, he was so confident when he sang that if he had told you he made an album and played for audiences in sold-out venues you would have believed it.

“That’s nice to hear. Thank you, Y/n,” you watched a dimple slowly work its way deeper into his cheek as his smile widened. It was nice to see him smile.

You both sat quietly for a bit looking out the window at the dark street as cars drove by,  headlamps beaming over the dark asphalt. You wondered if you should press him more about how he really was. You could tell something was off. He wasn’t as happy as he normally was. And when he told you things were complicated at home you figured it had something to do with Kit.

“We’re getting divorced,” he said defeatedly as he stared out the window.

“What? Why?”

Harry took a deep breath and looked at you, “She wants more than I can give her. She needs to be with women, she said. And…” he gulped and looked back out the window, “… she said she couldn’t ever look at me the same after that night. Said I’d never be able to have that with her.”

You kept your brows pinched together as you listened to him. It broke your heart that things had fallen apart for them. That it had all been too much.

“But I thought you two were happy. There was never any indication before that something was wrong.”

He nodded, “I thought so too. But she couldn’t get passed it and she said she’d been thinking about it for a long time. Before we even thought of having you join,” he glanced at you before looking down at his glass, “She’s been needing something else for a while. I never knew. I thought it was enough. I knew she missed women and that kind of softness in bed but I had no idea that it affected her so much. To me, her confession was sudden. But supposedly she’s been keeping it in for a long time.”

Without even thinking you reached out and grabbed his hand, “I’m so sorry, Harry.”

Harry looked down at your small hand covering his and up to your eyes, “She said that when she apologized to you she felt free to finally be herself. I was blindsided. Then last week she told me she was going to go on a date with a woman she’s known for years. Ripped me right half. She was gone all night. But I mean, our marriage is over anyway.”

You gently smoothed your thumb over his knuckles and kept your eyes on his face.

“So I offered her a divorce and told her I can’t tolerate her dating someone if I’m not involved somehow. She understood that. She told me she hoped I would find someone,” he paused as he sighed to collect his words so they didn’t come out as a surprise to you, “…with whom I could have the kind of chemistry she saw that night between us.”

You didn’t know how to respond. Or if you should. You were well aware of the way you and Harry connected and how natural everything felt with him. But at the same time, you never thought it was much more than just good chemistry. You couldn’t allow yourself to think of it as more than that.

“Anyway, she’s at home with the boys and I needed to get out and breathe. Figured I’d have a beer or two and then go back home. Sleep in the guest room like I have been. We’re still trying to figure out how to tell the kids.”

You nodded softly, “That’s awful, Harry. I don’t know what to say except I’m so sorry.”

Harry breathed out a laugh through his nostrils and shook his head, “You don’t need to pity me. I’m sad but I’ll be okay. It’s better anyway, I think in the end. She wasn’t fulfilled and part of me knows I wasn’t either. We could have made it work but I don’t think she’d have been happy for much longer. It was only a matter of time I suppose.”

“Y/n! Next game’s about to start. You wanna join?” Arla suddenly interrupted.

You turned to look at her and back to Harry, “This is Harry, and Harry, this is my friend Arla. She and I have two classes together.”

Harry smiled at your friend and looked at you, “I’m just about to finish up. You go and enjoy your night off with your friends.”

You didn’t want to part ways with Harry yet. It felt like you needed to sit with him longer. So you turned to Arla, “I’m gonna pass. But you guys go ahead!”

“Are you sure?” She looked from you to Harry and back to you again.

“Yeah. I’m sure.”

When she walked off Harry grabbed your hand, “You don’t have to pity me I said. I’m okay, really. I know this has to be boring for you to sit here listening to me whine about my life. You should go.”

Shaking your head you frowned, “I didn’t want to go, Harry. Thought maybe if you’re leaving anyway I could walk you out. Hug you goodbye. I don’t know when I’ll ever see you again. Or if I see you again…”

Harry tilted his head and nodded, “Okay. Deal. I’ll settle up and be right back.”

You watched Harry make his way to the bar and get his credit card back from the bartender. He was achingly attractive, even doing absolutely nothing, he was the most attractive man you’d ever laid eyes on. And far and away the kindest.

When he returned you stood from the stool and he gestured for you to lead the way to the door. The night air was warm as you turned to look up at Harry.

“I’m parked just up the street,” he jutted his chin in the direction of his car, “It was really nice to see you–“

“I’ll walk with you to your car,” you rushed the words out. You weren’t ready for him to leave. You were certain you’d never see him again and that thought was scarier than insisting you walk him to his car. Maybe just being near him for a few extra moments would make you feel better.

Silently you both walked side by side down the sidewalk toward his car. And when you got to his spot he smiled down at you, “Did you drive here?”

You shook your head, “Shared an Uber with two of my friends.”

He nodded, “Well, Y/n…” he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around your shoulders and you pulled your arms around his middle and smushed your face against his chest. He squeezed you tight and you squeezed back.

You felt his breath at your temple, “God I’m gonna miss you.”

You tilted your head back to look up at him, “I’m gonna miss you too, Harry.”

The streetlamp that cast the smallest bit of light from across the street flickered off and then sputtered back on again as you kept your eyes locked with Harry’s. You’d miss his eyes and his cologne and how nice he was to you. It felt wrong to simply let him leave.

“Y/n…” Harry spoke softly as he brought a hand up to your face, his fingers slid behind your ear and his thumb caressed your cheekbone, “Can I have one more kiss? If it’s okay?”

Nodding your head you felt his hand pull your face closer to his. He pressed his nose against yours as you fluttered your eyes shut and then felt his lips gently move over yours.

And something inside of you felt like it’d been unlocked as you opened your mouth and let him slip his tongue inside, to which you pressed yours against his and heard him moan.

You gripped his shirt tight and felt him push your back into his car as he caged you in with his arms and his hips pressed against yours. It had all happened so fast but your head was spinning and you both were lost in each other with a hungry kiss and wet lips.

He moved his hand to your neck and wrapped his palm around the front of your throat, keeping his lips attached to yours before he parted with a soft gasp, “Want to hear you say it just one more time f’me, sweet girl. What do you call me?”

You closed your eyes and felt the tips of his fingers squeezing gently at the side of your neck. You knew exactly what he was asking.

“Daddy,” you breathed before you felt his warm lips slot between yours again. He moaned deeply and you clung to his back in hopes of him staying. You didn’t want this to be it.

When you shifted your hips he lowered a hand to your thigh and pulled it upward, tucking himself in closer.

It turned out, that one more kiss wasn’t just any old kiss. Wasn’t just something you could pull away from once his lips smeared against yours, once his tongue lapped against your tongue. You held him tight through his shirt and he kept your thigh hitched over his hip and his hand at your neck as his mouth moved with yours under the flickering streetlamp.

When he pulled back and looked down at you, you tightened your fingers around his shirt, “Do you want to come over? To my place?” You couldn’t let the moment getaway. Couldn’t let Harry just leave like that. You also couldn’t believe you’d asked him over. But it was that or watch him drive away and never see him again.

Harry pulled his hand off your neck and softly tucked his fingers to the back of your head, “Really?”

You nodded and raised your brows, suddenly feeling the heat of embarrassment, “If you want. I mean you don’t–“

Your words were swallowed by Harry’s mouth over yours again. Soft lips and wet tongue making you ache and filling you with just enough gall to ask for what you’d wanted. And that was to have him in your apartment. Alone. You just wanted a little bit more. Before it was all over and forgotten and in the past. Before the moment was just something you’d look back on in the future with a tinge of sadness but with a smile on your face.

Harry opened his passenger side door for you to get inside and you texted Jax quickly explaining your sudden absence with an apology. You could explain to your friends later.

You felt Harry scoop your hand into his as he started his car and pulled out into the street. The song on the radio had just come to an end and a commercial began to play, “You’ll have to remind me of your address,” Harry glanced at you before looking back at the street.

“Oh! Yeah! Of course. Um… Just take this street to Caldwell and take a right and then we’ll go to the bridge and merge onto the highway but you’ll only be on for one exit and then the first right off the access road. Then it’s like two miles and the apartments are on the left.”

Harry laughed, “Maybe you can tell me as we approach where I need to turn. I’m a little wound up right now. Might not remember all that,” he grinned.

You were feeling your nerves begin to bubble with each mile closer to your apartment. But Harry was trying to keep you calm, you could tell.

“So, you told me once you don’t have roommates. Is that still the case?”

You nodded and looked at his handsome side profile, “Yeah. No roommates. It’s only a one bedroom. My uncle is the apartment manager and so I get rent super cheap otherwise I wouldn’t be able to have a place on my own.” “That’s nice. Looking forward to seeing it.”

Biting your lip you looked out the window and felt a pinch of anxiety. You knew what was probably about to happen and you’d welcome it! But then after that what? Would he stick around? Would you see him again? Would Kit be mad?

“What are your plans for tomorrow, Y/n?”

You released your bottom lip from your teeth, “I have a paper due on Monday so I planned on getting my sources and starting the outline. I have it mostly written but now I need to back up what I’m saying and that means I’ll probably wind up needing to rewrite some portions. But that’s my plan for tomorrow and Sunday. Get that finished up. What about you?” You looked back at him as you asked.

“Tomorrow afternoon I’m taking the boys to that Science and Play place. Not sure if you ever heard of it?” He peeked at you quickly.

“I have! I’ve actually been there,” you laughed and Harry softly rubbed his thumb along yours.

“William loves it. He’s been begging to go back. And they have a restaurant there so we’ll make a whole afternoon of it. Let the boys explore. Kit’s going out tomorrow and I don’t want the boys to see her getting all dressed up so I’m going to stay out of the house with them as long as possible.”

You nodded, “That makes sense. I’m sorry, Harry.”

He shook his head, “Don’t be. I’m suddenly not feeling so down about it all right now,” he squeezed your hand as you directed him onto the highway.

You smiled to yourself at his comment and understood what he meant exactly.

After Harry parked in the guest parking spot, you led him to your apartment up a flight of metal stairs to the second floor. You were normally very tidy and neat but you’d been a bit out of sorts since that fateful night and plus getting back into the swing of the new semester meant you had a few things strewn about which all came into view once you turned on the light.

“Sorry about the mess,” you gestured at your couch and the small chair next to it with your clothes draped over the arms.

But Harry didn’t seem to care as he pulled you into his arms and cupped your face, bringing his lips down to yours. You kissed him back with as much heat as he was putting into the kiss. You grasped onto the lats of his back as he moved you with him slowly until he pulled you into his lap on the couch and your fervor only increased.

You ran your fingers into his hair as he kissed his way down your jaw and then to your neck, pecking gently along the front of your throat and back up to your lips, “Loved when you wore that little pearl choker.”

He drew his hands along the outside of your jeans-clad thighs and you pulled away to look at his beautiful face, “I still have it.”

“Mmm… It goes with your innocent act so perfectly,” he grinned, “But I know you’re not innocent, baby. Far from it.”

You could feel his breath against your lips as he spoke and you felt that recognizable hardness under his pants.

“Why don’t you go put that pretty thing on your neck for Daddy and take off everything else?”

You were quick to push yourself off his lap and go into your bedroom. You smiled as you pulled the choker from its velvet bag and happily put it back onto your neck. You thought you’d never want it on again, but if Harry wanted it on, you would absolutely wear it.

You pulled your shirt off and began to unbutton your pants before pushing them down your legs. You hadn’t done much upkeep on yourself other than just shaving around your bikini line to keep it neat, but you knew better than to start rethinking everything now. If you had a bit of a bush so be it. You were mostly certain Harry wouldn’t mind.

When you unhooked your bra Harry was standing in your doorway watching you. His hands slowly undoing the buttons on his shirt as he watched you peel your panties down your legs.

His shirt hung open as he stepped in front of you and cupped your face. His eyes wandered over your breasts and up to your choker before setting them back on your face, “Do you know how hard you make me, Y/n? This little thing on your neck,” he lowered his thumb to the pearls and pressed on it, “…these sexy lips,” he dipped in and kissed you as he lowered both hands to your tits, “…and these gorgeous breasts.”

You smoothed your hands over his warm chest as his mouth covered yours with lazy, sloppy kisses.

“Want you to bend over the bed. Show me that pretty ass. I think you need a little spanking for making Daddy wait a month and a half to see you again.”

You moaned and then swallowed as you turned around and draped your upper half over your unmade bed, baring your full ass to him.

You felt his hands cupping your bottom and smoothing up and down to your thighs as he cooed at you, “God damn, baby. Look at you. So fucking sweet and naughty for me,” the first strike against your bottom came unexpectedly and immediately after he spoke.

He brought his other palm down on your other side and you yelped and turned to look at him over your shoulder.

He lifted his gaze from your bum to your eyes and smirked at you as he smacked you again. You dropped your mouth open and groaned when he did it again and again until you squeezed your eyes closed and stuffed your face into the mattress as he left stinging handprints on your backside.

When you felt him move away you lifted and turned to look at him behind you as he removed his clothes. He watched you with dark eyes, his sight moving from your bum to your face, “On your knees. Face me,” he motioned for you to move.

You brought yourself to your knees and looked up at him, your eyes big and round and sweet. He licked his lips and ran his knuckles over your temple, “Gotta burn this image into my brain. The sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.”

He stroked himself slowly, his cock was already fully thickened and mouthwatering. You looked from his big dick up to his face as he dragged a soft thumb over your lips. He pressed his thumb into your mouth and you opened up for him.

“Keep your mouth open like this,” he pressed down on your tongue, making your jaw widen, “There we go. Need space for me in there. You want Daddy’s cock inside your mouth?”

You nodded and gurgled a yes which made him grin proudly, “I know you do. You like having your face fucked, don’t you? Little naughty girl desperate to choke and make Daddy happy.”

“Yes. Please…” you panted and opened your mouth wider for him.

Harry smeared his cock over your lips. His warm tip dragged against the soft skin of your mouth as you poked your tongue out to dab at his slit.

“Go on then. Suck.” He prodded himself forward a bit and you wrapped your lips around his smooth tip and grasped at this base. Swirling your tongue around the skin under his crown you pushed yourself down on him and pulled back, sucking in and dragging your tongue along the way before edging back down again, trying to get him as deep as possible.

You’d given head before. You had never much enjoyed it. Felt it was more a means to an end sometimes. But with Harry standing over you and cradling the back of your head, his eyes on your mouth as you took him on your tongue you realized you loved giving head. Maybe it was just Harry, though. Maybe you only loved sucking his cock because it was attached to him and you wanted to please him in every way you possibly could.

“Fuck,” Harry moaned breathily as you looked up at him with your puffy lips parted around him, moving up and down, sucking and licking, hollowing your cheeks every time you pulled back to his tip just before pushing him further into your mouth.

When you put a hand on his ball sac and softly rolled it in your palm Harry threw his head back and panted breathily, “Oh my god, baby.”

You continued your work as your eyes became blurred with tears and your chin wet with drool. You stuffed yourself down over him until his tip was poked into your throat and you gagged around him. When you repeated that move, causing you to swallow around him and gag lightly, still gently massaging his balls he pulled you off and lifted you to stand up.

“Enough for now. Think you’ve earned a reward for that.” He gently walked you backward to your bed and then gestured for you to get on just as he climbed on and pulled you over his lap again. Harry laid down, bringing you with him, and kissed you. You could feel his solid, damp cock against your pussy as you kissed him and he groped your bottom, moving you up and down against him slowly, your pussylips pushed apart and dragged over his cock.

Suddenly he pushed at you, making you sit upright, your hands on his pecs as he cupped your tits in his hands, “I want you to ride my face. Get yourself off.”

You laughed and looked at him, “How should I…”

But you let out a small squeak as he pulled at you and dragged you up his chest and over his face, gripping onto your hips and making you settle your pussy over his lips. He began kissing and licking right away, his eyes on you.

“Ohhh…” you placed your hands on the top of the headboard as you looked down and watched Harry under you. It felt so good having him naked in your bed. Having his eyes on you. Having his hands on your ass. His lips on your pussy.

You slowly tilted your hips forward and felt the sparkle of your clit being pressed into his mouth. Harry held you down tight and lapped at you, concentrating on your clit as he sucked on it.

Harry’s fingers dug into your soft bum and you felt as he moved one hand, reaching further back and dipping a finger into your pussy before smearing your arousal up and over your anus. You gasped as you stared down at his eyes. He softly circled the spot as he continued working on your clit with his mouth.

You’d never had anything done to your bottom before, but if Harry wanted to, you’d let him. You were pretty much all yes and please when it came to him anyway. You’d happily let him do what he wanted.

But he never pressed in. He only pushed at your hole and circled over the outside with a wet finger and it had you reeling.

“Daddy, oh my god!”

Harry moved his hand away and put it back on your hips so he could pull you down and move you back and forth over his face. You felt like you were in such a vulnerable position, naked, sitting on his mouth the way you were. There was part of you that worried you were crushing him but he only pulled you against his mouth harder, his brows furrowing as he tried to draw an orgasm out of you.

He moaned against your clit and drew it into his mouth, letting his tongue flick against it. The little wet noises coming from his mouth against you sounded dirty with the backdrop of your loud moaning.

Sometimes you were able to force an orgasm from yourself if you held your vibrator against your clit. Even if you weren’t worked up at all. Just for a quick release.

But you were definitely worked up with Harry. Wet and puffy and the way he was mouthing and pulling at your clit with his lips you couldn’t stop your climax even if you wanted to. It dripped from your cunt all over his mouth as you loudly cried out. Your thighs quivered around his head as you leaned forward and felt wave after wave of your release.

Harry kept his hands tight on you, holding you close so he could make sure you were feeling everything he gave you.

“Fffffuuuu!” You were feeling overwhelmed as he continued sucking you in and holding you down over him. You whined and tried lifting your hips up but he swatted at your ass before gripping your thigh and doubling down on your clit.

“Oooh ssssshhit! Ffuck!” You were trembling uncontrollably as you white-knuckled the headboard and looked down at the scene of the crime. Harry’s head between your thighs with his eyes on yours and his wet nose was lewd.

But then something snapped and the overwhelming feeling started to melt into yet another orgasm that was drawn from you without warning. You cried and whimpered as Harry let go of your thighs and put his hands at your waist to keep you steady. Your whole body trembled as you tried to hold onto the headboard but you were feeling out of your mind and blurry.

When he moved you to your back you were still coming down from the back-to-back orgasms and your brain was trying to fight its way back to the surface of clarity and awareness. Harry lay next to you and kissed your neck, his fingers trailing up your tummy and over your breasts and to your little choker, “You okay, Y/n?” His voice was barely above a whisper.

Your chest was still rising and falling heavily as you nodded, “I’m so good.”

You felt Harry’s thigh draped over the tops of yours as he trailed soft kisses up your neck and to your jaw, “You are so good.”

Reaching across your body you placed your fingers in Harry’s hair, “I want you to come, Daddy.”

Harry laughed out a puff of breath against your jaw and lifted his face to look at you, “Oh you do? You’re so sweet, honey,” his voice came out raspy and deep as he kneed his way between your legs, pushing your thighs apart and fitting himself comfortably over you, pulling at your knees to bend them up so your feet were flat.

He smiled down at you, breaking the lusty moment, “You don’t happen to have a condom do you?”

You thought for a moment. You were sure you didn’t, “I don’t really think I do. But,” you gulped and flexed your fingers nervously into the skin of his back, “I’m on birth control, so…”

Harry pursed his lips in pause as he kept his eyes on yours, “Okay,” he dipped down to kiss you, “You sure?”

“Yes. I’m sure. Want to feel you,” you nodded.

You were still so wet between your legs. You could feel Harry’s length easily slide against your pussy as he shifted himself down and pressed the top of his thighs into the back of yours, pushing your legs up slightly.

He placed his forearms down on the bed, caging you in, and pressed his mouth to yours softly. You felt him nudging at your opening so you lifted your hips, pushing against him as his tongue licked at the crease of your lips. The moment you felt his bulbous tip press through the tight muscle of your opening you gasped, dropping your mouth wide open. The feel of him entering you slowly with the weight of his hips against yours had you melting.

“That feels so good, doesn’t it baby?”

You whimpered with a nod, “Yes, Daddy…”

“Fuck I can hear how wet you are for me,” he pulled back and then pressed in. “Gonna make me come so hard, sweet girl.”

The deeper he went in the more you felt your body floating away. There was no question that Harry had a big dick. And you knew he was aware of this as well because he was gentle with you as he inched his way in and pulled back slowly.

When he’d finally poked in as deep as possible and his balls were tucked into your ass he sloppily kissed you as he began to fuck into you with slow and languid strokes. Gushy and hot and unforgiving. Even as slow as he was going every time his head nudged into your cervix you hissed into his mouth. But there was something about the little ache that you loved. Probably because it was Harry.

His pelvis dragged against your clit every time he pushed in and you felt his hand clutch the back of your neck as he licked into your mouth.

Your pussy was so full. So happy. You could feel yourself open and stretch around him. It had your head spinning.

Harry grunted as he lifted himself and softly pressed his nose against yours, “Feel that, baby? Feel Daddy’s cock sliding inside of your tight pussy? You’re gripping me so good.”

His slow rhythmic thrusts grew faster as he let go of the back of your neck and pushed himself up, palms on the mattress. His plunges were deeper and stronger and his thighs and back were flexing as he worked himself in and out, faster little by little.

“Shit! Daddy!” You shakily yelped at the faster cadence and the way he was now punching into your cervix, “It’s so fucking deep,” you gritted your teeth and threw your neck back.

“Is it too deep for your little pussy, honey? Huh?” He rutted his hips in as he asked, punctuating what he meant.

You inhaled sharply when he plunged in again, grinding his hips against yours and stuffing himself into the hilt, “Oh my god, yes! But I need it!”

Harry groaned as kept himself balls deep and sat back onto his haunches, grabbing onto your thighs to keep you in place.

With his hands at the back of your knees, he began to slide into you in long, heavy strokes until he was smacking into you just enough that your tits were bouncing and your bed was creaking in time with his thrusts.

Harry licked his thumb and lowered it to your clit which had you jolting with a small cry. Your clit was super sensitive after the way he’d handled you moments earlier.

He watched his cock move through your hole, your pussy wrapped around him tight and coating him in your cream. He moaned as his thumb was lathered in your arousal from how he was slipping it back and forth over your puffy clit.

Your small grunts and squeaks increased the wetter you got and the harder the mattress bounced under you. The patting of his skin against yours was rhythmic and bumped you upward every time he slammed into you.

You started to see stars, you could swear it as your limbs began to tingle and disintegrate. Harry was grunting and moaning at the view of your pussy wrapped around him tight and the way it felt to be swallowed by you, warm and wet and clenching.

Harry gasped and paused his strokes as he breathed heavily. His chest was red as leaned back over you and kissed you so sweetly it took your breath away. You both moaned in synch as your tongues wound around each other and wet lips slobbered together when he began to drill into you again, slower but with muscle.

You started to quiver with his chest pressed to yours and his cock deep inside of you, his pelvis grinding against yours.

“There you go… let me feel that pussy coming. Oh, baby that feels good doesn’t it,” he rutted into you as he spoke against your lips.

You nearly howled with your third orgasm. It was one thing to come from clitoral stimulation but quite another to have your clit being smeared into while having a big cock nudging in and out of you as you lost control of all functions.

Harry watched your face as you scrunched your brow and chanted Daddy and he drove into you in solid, squelching plunges. His cock made its way over your spongy insides repeatedly, hitting that one spot with his big crown over and over again until you were spent. Done for. There was nothing left for you to give.

Harry kissed you softly, stuffing himself into you gently, and moaned, “M’gonna come baby but I’m gonna pull out okay? Where do you want it sweet girl?”

You peeled your eyes open and exhaled softly, “In my mouth. Let me have it in my mouth, Daddy,” you nodded as you gripped his shoulders.

Harry stopped his motions and looked at you, almost as if in awe as he ticked his head back in forth like he was in disbelief, “Yeah?”

You nodded as he plunged in a few more times, pressing you upward, his eyes on yours as his moaning progressively got softer and you swore whiney even.

He pushed himself up and pulled out, taking his cock in his hand and pumping himself, smoothing your creamy arousal around his shaft and smothering his palm. He took his other hand and pulled you up by your neck and brought your mouth over his cock as he sat back onto his haunches.

You quickly lowered your mouth over him, tasting your juices as you sucked him in and then felt him begin to release down your throat in spurts. He coughed out a loud groan as he rutted upward, his tip slipping down your throat with his hand at the back of your head, “Fuck!” He panted and you felt his thighs shaking as he rolled his hips upward.

You swallowed and gurgled him down the best you could, gripping the base of his shaft in your hand and sucking while swirling your tongue around him until his cock stopped throbbing and pumping and he was softly gasping and breathing.

You licked your way up and popped your mouth off of him but you were in a daze.

Harry smoothed his lips against yours and easily laid you down on your back, “Just lay here and rest. I’ll be right back sweetheart.”

You closed your eyes and hummed to yourself at the taste in your mouth and the way your body was buzzing with satisfaction.

Opening your eyes just as Harry walked back into the room he was buck naked, cock swinging, chest slightly damp, and impossibly strong thighs. A god really. You’d never get over his body.

He held a glass of water out to you and had brought in a damp towel to wipe you up. You sat up to take a few gulps of water before he delicately pushed you to lie back down. The towel was warm and it felt so good on your sensitive skin.

Harry laid next to you and kissed your cheek and then nuzzled into your neck, his hot breath falling over your skin, “You’re amazing, baby. I’m never gonna forget tonight. So good for me.”

You sighed and turned to face him as he gently dabbed between your legs, “Kiss me, Daddy.”

His grin made the edges of his eyes crinkle, “Happily.” He pressed his mouth against yours and you both kissed soft and lazy as he tossed the damp towel to your floor and wrapped you in his arms.

You couldn’t be sure of how he kissed you but when he was helping you out of bed and speaking softly to you about having a bath with him so he could hold you longer you felt wobbly still.

With your eyes closed and your back against his chest in the warm water, he started talking. And as you felt more aware and conscious you realized he was sort of spilling his guts to you.

“I was so sad when I woke up this morning. But seeing you and all this,” he squeezed your arms, “I think I can breathe now. You made everything feel better, Y/n.”

You listened closely as he continued, his chest vibrating as he spoke, “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since that night. And I realized something too. Tonight. Just now. I think Kit was right. You and I do really have good chemistry. We fit so well together don’t we?”

You hummed and nodded with a small smile on your face.

He sighed and pulled his arms around you, “Don’t want this night to end. Want to just stay here with you, holding you like this.”

Your heart began to pound as you started to feel his words. You knew what he meant and you felt it. You could feel his scruff on your temple as he rubbed his face in toward yours, “You feeling better now?”

You nodded and turned toward his face, “Yes. So much better. You make me feel so good.”

Harry slowly blinked as he kept his gaze on yours, “You make me feel so good too.”

When the water grew tepid Harry wrapped you in a towel and tightly hugged you as he walked you to your room and made you drink more water.

He took your towel off and helped you into your bed and pulled your blankets over your naked body before he began to pick up his clothes from the floor.

You pouted and sat up, “Please don’t go. Will you stay here tonight? I need you here with me. I think I just…” you felt tears in your eyes as you looked upward to will them away.

Harry dropped his pants to the floor and sat on your bed, cupping your face to look at you, “I didn’t want to assume you wanted me to stay. But I’ll stay tonight. I’d love to stay with you.

So he did. He held you in his arms, pet your back, and kissed your forehead until you had drifted away into a deep sleep.

The morning was slow with the first bit of sun shining through the cracks of your window. You were burning hot in Harry’s arms so you poked your head up and breathed as you wiggled out of his hold.

“Where you going?” His groggy morning voice was too sexy to make sense.

“I have to pee,” you laughed as he released your wrist and you quickly padded to your bathroom.

When you got back into your room Harry was already dressed and running a hand through his hair as he looked at himself in your mirror.

Turning to face you he grinned at your Pokemon robe, “Cute. You’re always so fucking cute, Y/n.”

You looked down at the robe and shrugged at him with a small smile.

“I have to go. I hate to leave so quickly but I’ve got to get home to the boys and get them ready for our little outing today.”

You nodded, “Yeah. That’s okay. I understand.”

Harry tilted his head as he stepped in front of you and pulled you in for a hug. It felt like one of those this-is-it hugs. It felt so final.

“Y/n,” Harry pulled back to look at you, “You’re amazing. If you ever need anything or just want to say hi, you know how to reach me.”

You walked him to your door and watched as he made his way down the steps and out of your sight. Your final view of the only man you were sure you’d never get over.

.           .           .

“This is cute,” your cousin reached out to touch your pink pearl choker as you stuffed your bag with clothes.

You paused what you were doing and placed your fingers over the necklace with a smile, “Thank you.”

The necklace gave you warm and happy memories now. As much as you wished something could have happened between you and Harry you knew that just wasn’t possible. He was going through a divorce, had kids, a broken heart… But your last night together had mended you wholly. You knew it was something you’d never forget and you were grateful to him. You just hoped that maybe it did him some good too. Maybe it was something he took with him that made him smile like it did you.

The days and weeks after had been hard for you. Often you’d pick up your phone and compose a text, only to read it over and over again before deleting it. It was hard to let him go completely but now it was Christmas Eve and you felt like you were on the other side of it. Mostly. You still thought of him every day but it was easier.

“You have such good taste. You’ll have to go with me shopping sometime.” Chandy spoke as she plopped down on your bed next to your bag.

“That sounds fun actually.”

Chandy had come over to your apartment to pick you up since she lived so close. You were heading to her family home an hour out of the city. It was tradition for the whole family to get together at your aunt and uncle’s lake home. It was gorgeous in the winter with their soaring windows and snow all around.

You stacked presents into two grocery bags and slung your overnight bag over your shoulder, “Ready?”

“Yes! First, I have to use your bathroom then we’ll hit the road.” Chandy rushed off.

You sat on the edge of the arm of your couch and pulled out your phone to see a text that had your heart squeezing and throbbing.

It was a picture of Harry and the boys in front of a Christmas tree and his text read:

Merry Christmas, Y/n. We miss you!

You quickly typed out a response.

Merry Christmas! I miss you guys so much!

You placed your hand over your heart to calm yourself and the sudden rush of all your feelings you thought had begun to fade away came rushing back.

You closed your eyes after you watched your sent text go from delivered to read.

When you opened your eyes and saw that he was typing something your entire body grew hot as you stared intently at your phone.

“Okay! Ready!” Chandy chirped.

You stood up with your phone in your hand, “Uh, I’m gonna just go to the bathroom too real quick!”

You closed the bathroom door and felt the vibration from an incoming text. A wide grin on your face.

What are you doing for New Year’s?

As fast as your fingers allowed you responded.

No plans. What about you?

It was the longest wait while you watched the bouncing dots stop and restart. A full minute of waiting as you flushed the toilet (to pretend you’d been using it so Chandy didn’t wonder) and then washed your hands, staring at your screen.

The boys and I will be making a very “special” dinner and then we’ll ring in the New Year with sparkling grape juice and The Poseidon Adventure. They each invited a friend and told me I had to invite someone too.

Drying your hands off, you bit your lip and typed.

That sounds so fun. Who will you invite?

You chuckled to yourself. You were almost certain he was inviting you but you couldn’t be sure until you saw his response.

I’m inviting YOU. Wasn’t it obvious? ; )

Well, in that case, I’ll be there. I wouldn’t miss it. &lt;3

.           .           .

You had no idea what to expect for New Year’s but you and Harry hadn’t stopped texting since he reached out. The whole time you were with your family on Christmas you kept your phone by your side so you wouldn’t miss a single message.

You dressed casually for the New Year’s Eve party at Harry’s because there were going to be 4 ten-year-old boys there. And you learned the “special” dinner they were making was grilled cheese sandwiches, French fries, and for dessert chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. It honestly sounded amazing.

You also learned that Kit had moved out, leaving the house to Harry and they were on very good terms. They would split custody of the boys 50 / 50. And that technically they were still married but the divorce was moving along quickly because there were very few things that needed to be worked out. They seemed to be on the same page.

You parked in the street in front of the Styles house and noticed lights strung up on the columns of the porch and a Christmas wreath on the front door.

The moment you closed the door to your car you saw the front door open and Warner and William busted out and ran toward you, “Y/n!! You came!” – “Dad said you were coming!”

They both hugged you, one on each side and you could have cried. You hadn’t seen them since August and it was already December. You felt like they’d grown bigger in those few months.

They started to pull you toward the house but you laughed and stopped, “Hold on! I have presents for everyone in the car I have to get.”

You opened your trunk and pulled out two bags that had presents inside and when you closed it Harry was there in the yard watching you with a soft grin. You felt blood rush to the apples of your cheeks at the sight of him and your heart throbbed in your chest.

“Hi, Y/n,” his dimples winked awake and the corners of his eyes crinkled as he stepped forward to take your bags, handing one to Warner and one to William, “Take these inside and pour Y/n a glass of the New Year’s mocktail we made. We’ll be right in.”

You clasped your hands behind your back as you let your eyes fall over his outfit. He was wearing a red chunky knit sweater with a big green Christmas tree in the center that had gold and silver balls all over it, “Love the sweater.”

Harry looked down at it and back at you, “Love that you’re here.”

The heat that spread over your face stretched down your neck and your back as he stepped in closer. He was far too handsome for his own good and all the memories you had with him were flooding your brain with inappropriate thoughts but also with fondness and excitement.

“Thank you for inviting me.” You looked up at him as he stood directly in front of you.

Harry stared down at you for a moment, his eyes blinking and his pink lips twitching tremulously, “I know I look ridiculous in this,” he gestured at his sweater looking down at it and then back at you, “and this isn’t the most romantic reunion but I wanted to ask you before the festivities started if you’d like to go on a date with me tomorrow night?”

Your lips parted as the question floated around in the air between you two. You couldn’t believe he was asking you on a date.

“A date? Like…” You bit your lip and looked down at the ground and back up at Harry, “A date date?”

Harry smiled widely and nodded, “A date date.”

You exhaled a small laugh and nodded, “Harry, I’d love that. Yes.”

Suddenly his arms were wound around your middle and you squealed as he lifted you from the ground and spun you in his arms. The moment your feet hit the grass he gave you a quick kiss, cupping your face in his hands, and then parted as he looked back at the house.

Harry let you go and smirked at you as he took your hand to lead you to the house whispering, “Now I know this sweater is pure sex but you’re just gonna have to keep your hands to yourself tonight.”

You laughed and squeezed his hand, “It’s gonna be hard but I think I can behave.”

Harry stopped and turned his face toward you, his warm mouth at your ear, “Y/n, I’m so glad you’re here.”

A/N: I hope you guys loved this! Let me know your thoughts please!!

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[thefrontmanscockwarmer]

My Best Friend’s Brother (Part 5)

Player 001 x reader

Masterlist <- comment on this post to be added to the tag list

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

You, Jun Ho, and In Ho walked to your apartment, grabbing clothes, your favorite throw blanket, and stuff for your cat.

“Why do you need so much shit?” In Ho, who seemingly had something to say all the time, spoke. He rolled your suitcase.

“She’s gonna be staying with us all month, dim wit” Jun Ho replied.

“Well that’s stupid. Don’t touch my shit while I’m at work.”

“Our room, our stuff” you said cheekily before you shot a look at him.

“No. My room, my stuff” he said.

“Wellllll I am staying there for a whi-“

“Whatever. Don’t touch my shit.”

“She touched your shit yesterday…” Jun Ho said.

“I dont give a fuck, i gave her permission to touch my shit.” In Ho snapped back. “Now, im telling her not to touch my shit when I’m not home”

“I don’t want touch shit at all”

“You literally scoop cat shit” Jun Ho says. In Ho snickered.

“Good one” he gave a fist bump.

“Can we stop talking about shit?!” You ask heatedly. The boys shut their mouths before In Ho whispered:

“Someone’s losing her shit.” Jun Ho laughed loudly, In Ho following suit.

“Seriously, In Ho? You’re literally older than us, get your shit together” they both snorted before laughing even louder. Making you laugh too.

Jun Ho left almost as soon as you guys arrived to the house.

In Ho pushed you against the door, barricading it shut. Breathing heavily in your ear, his cock leaking in his pants.

“I’ve been wanting to get ahold of you since you got out of bed this morning.” He growled in your ear. “I shouldn’t have let you go”

“No, you shouldn’t have” you reply, helping him out of his pants. You dropped to your knees. In Ho pulled your hair up, as you licked his tip. The feeling making him throw his head back, a low grumble from his chest accompanying it. You took his length, putting his cock deep in your throat. In Ho grunted primally as he pushed his cock in deeper. Forcing your head to hit the door. He pinned your hair up, thrusting into your mouth.

“Oh god, (y/n), why does your mouth feel so fucking good?” He coaxed in a low tone, fucking your throat. “I almost want to cum right now, fuck” the foreign feeling of his cock in your mouth was a long awaited day dream, you began to gag and choke on his thick member. The vibrations sending him into overdrive. He sped up, chasing his orgasm now, continuing his brutal assault on your throat. He braced his hand against the door, his hips stuttered. His body tense and convulsion with every thrust into your mouth. A low grumble”oh god” was uttered in the most sinful groan as he released cum down your throat. Thrusting slower now to fully empty himself inside you before putting himself back in his jeans.

“Your cum tastes almost like whiskey” you giggle.

“Well, according to last night… you really fucking like whiskey” he said. Your watery eyes looked up at him. “Ready to go pick out a new mattress your-annoyingness” he joked. You slapped his shoulder as you stood.

“Shut up.” You squint at him.

“Sorry” he kept laughing. “Mom, tell your son to stop laughing at me” you said as you walk into the kitchen.

“I would but, I haven’t heard him laugh this hard since he was younger.” She giggled lightly.

“Where Mr. Hwang?” You ask. “we might need his help.”

“He’s out betting on the horse races. Just have them deliver it to the house, the boys can do all of that.”

“Okay.” You shrug. You hear a loud groan as your cat emerges from In Ho’s room.

“Come back! I wanted more cuddles!!” He shouts chasing after the animal.

“Awww he’s so precious!” Mrs. Hwang exclaims. “What’s his name?”

“Wiseuki” you say aloud. The cat rubs against her legs as she repeats his name, looking at you knowing why you named him that… after her whiskey drinking son.

“Come on (y/n), let’s go pick that mattress” In Ho says pushing you out the door.

As soon as you entered the mattress store, he threw himself onto a bed. Immediate disgust etching on his face. You could tell this was going to be a long trip.

Taglist

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[schlattslonghairytoes]

pictures and pizza📸 🌃 🌹

personal assistant reader x boss schlatt

schlatt forgets something important. again. how will he make it up to you?

working for schlatt was easy

getting every thing done meant you guys could kinda just hang out

you two were getting along great, you were basically friends, except you cooked for him, cleaned, and kept his schedule moving

and you were beginning to love it

but not everything can be perfect

there was one thing about schlatt that was very hard to deal with

schlatt is really fucking stubborn and no diss, a bit lazy

like omfg it was getting old

if he didnt want to do something, or better yet, didnt want to get out of bed!

there was no use, you had no chance of convincing him

but that is your job, and you were damn good at it

it was 10am, as that was the set time you and schlatt decided work began. he had gifted you a key to his apartment after one morning, where you had to call his little sister to let you in, you thought schlatt was dead.

he just fell asleep with headphones on.

anywho, you let yourself in and tidyed up the living room, because the night before schlatt promised you he would be up and ready at 10, he had an extremely important meeting at 11 that was kinda far.

like he could not miss this.

so you trusted him, you also hated barging into his room, it felt like a total invasion of privacy to you, schlatt didnt care when you did it, but to you it was the end of the world

so you waited.

and waited

until you knew he would not make it on time if he wasnt up.

so you mustered up all your courage and knocked on his door.

... silence

by then you gave up and opened the door, and oh lord if you werent mad at him it wouldve been the cutest thing youve ever seen

he was spread across his bed, limbs and blankets everywhere, and jambo and garlic bread (i am not writing REACTED every time.) were cuddled up on top of him. jambo curled up in his left arm, and garlic bread sprawled across his right leg

for a moment you forgot you were mad at him, he looked so handsome, yet so adorable, his mouth was open, and he was snoring softly, and honestly drooling a bit

you pulled out your phone and took a picture, wanting to make it your lockscreen but too scared he would see it. you hearted the picture in your camera roll before opening youtube

you connected your phone to his speaker in the room, and searched "morning bugle call" and hit play on full volume

jambo and garlic bread went flying off of schlatt as he sat up and slapped his hands over his ears "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT" you were wheezing on the floor at that point

when you finally stopped laughing you locked in and turned of the sound, then frowned slightly at him "up and at it, we were supposed to leave 30 minutes ago, you have 5 minutes to get ready. your outfit is picked and hung in the closet, lets go." and you shut his door and sat waiting on the couch

he was out in 4 minutes and 26 seconds. you handed him the breakfast you got him and made your way out the door silently.

"toots, im so sorry, i know i said i would wake up, i swear i set an alarm, c'mon dont be mad at me doll. i promise it wont happen again." he followed hot on your tail, almost chasing you.

like if someone saw they might be worried your about to be abducted.

you sighed and got in the drivers seat of your car, you wanted him to eat so you decided he could be the passenger princess for once

"schlatt this is the third time this week, im not mad, like this is literally my job, but it throws the whole day off, its whatever, eat your breakfast so you dont pass out at the meeting." the meeting was in new jersey and you didnt want to hear schlatts bitching the whole way

you turned up the music and hoped he would be quiet

schlatt on the other hand was rethinking his entire being

how could he let you down again, all he wants is for you to love and want your job, and hes already jepordizing that. for the span of the 30 minute car ride he hatched a plan.

after his four hour meeting he was drained, he waited to see your car pull up and get him, but you were taking an abnormally long time, he was getting worried

but those fears subsided quickly when he recived a text from you

"im gonna kms johnny. why the fuck did you have to have a meeting in new fucking jersey. traffic is insane, be there in 30 minutes pls dont die to a homeless man."

that certainly made him feel better, he searched for a near by store or cafe, but when he found a flower shop he knew that it was redemption time

you on the other hand wanted to throw yourself off of a freeway.

the traffic leaving the city to new jersey was insane, why on a thursday at 430 was traffic slower than joe biden falling off a bike? dont have the answer to that one

but this drive gave you time to think, it wasnt schlatts fault he had trouble waking up, and when traffic got so bad you could literally park, you went on amazon and bought him an alarm clock

one that will for sure wake him up, problem solved. now you could relax. night changes played on aux (rip liam 🥲) and you could think about the man you were ten minutes away from picking up

you opened your phone to see the picture from this morning, you decided so what if he sees, this picture ment the world to you, even though schlatt had been in your life for nearing a month, you knew he'd somehow be apart of it forever

schlatt stood outside of a coffee shop you told him to wait at, holding stuff that could possibly help fix his mistake.

when your car pulled up he started to get nervous, what if he got the wrong flowers, or they didnt make your coffee right, but those doubts melted away when your car came to a hault

you watched him open his door and hand you a large bouquet of flowers and a cold brew. overwhelmed at first you didnt realise what you were holding. you placed the cup into your cup holder and looked at the flowers infront of you

it was made up of roses, lilys, sweetpeas, carnations, alstroemerias, daphnes at the bottom you think?, ruscus, dusty millers, and eucalyptus.

you didnt even know this many pretty flowers existed, after placing the boquet on your lap, you reached over and threw your arms around schlatt

"johnny what is this!" you exclaim, voice muffled my his neck, suprised he wraps his arms around your waist and holds you close

"thought you deserved a gift after i fucked up this morning" he sighs, whichmakes you pull away, but you place a hand on his cheek, slightly scratching his beard with your nails

"oh jay, i wasnt even really mad, this is the nicest thing anyones every done for me" you look at him in awe as he leans into your touch.

"yeah but i feel bad, m' gonna make it up to you, tonight your comin' over, were gonna watch 10 things i hate about you, play mario kart, and order pizza, dont ever let me break your trust again, sound good toots?" his smirk cut right through your heart

oh he looked so kissable right now

that night was spent cuddled up on his couch, playing wii games, forcing schlatt to watch rom coms, and stuffing your faces with pizza

he made you feel like you were in a rom com

that was only just beginning

[octaneink]

Crescendo

Will Lenney x Fem!Reader

Next part: Accelerando Summary : Will has a new neighbour Warnings : none Notes : I have a part 2!

In the bustling heart of London, nestled between the towering beige buildings and the cobblestone streets, was a peculiar flat. It was peculiar, not in the way you might think. It was a typical London flat, rectangular, aged, with big rectangular windows. It was peculiar because of its inhabitants, a young woman whose days were filled with a rhythm that seemed to resonate through the very walls. Every morning, the thumping bass heavy of reggaetón echoed down the narrow alleyways as she revved up her engine and pulled away from the curb. Her car was a vibrant splash of colour in a sea of monochrome vehicles, the music spilling out like a siren's call to the city's early risers.

And its other inhabitant, Will. He had rarely been home the past few weeks, having to spend time in his office to work with video ideas with the lads, and the last few days he had been outside the country filming for a video. But he was used to the hectic schedule. Will was no stranger to late nights and early mornings, his own schedule dictated by the whims of content creation.

So it was a surprise, on the first night back, — it was not really night. He had landed in the UK at 4 am and had only gone through baggage collection an hour later, managing to get an Uber drop him off outside the flat around 6 am — that he saw a bright yellow Miata roared to life and peeled away, the surrounding air vibrated as it drove past him.

After that first morning, Will noticed the pattern start. Each time the music started, he felt the walls of his flat vibrate slightly, a gentle reminder that the world outside his window was waking up. Or at least his elusive neighbour was.

The pattern was this, at around 6 am, he would hear the muffled heavy base, some mornings he'd pick up words when he was closer to the windows in his front room. Though he didn't understand it one bit. At the time, he made the mental note to ask James if he would know what the words meant. Then in the evening around 5:30 pm he’d hear the beat grow in volume the closer the car got, then silence as they cut the keys, a loud car door slamming, and lastly, the beep to indicate their car locked.

The curiosity grew stronger, Will found himself one day setting his alarm earlier to catch a glimpse of the driver. He'd make a cup of tea, the kind that could be brewed quickly and enjoyed just as fast, so he didn't miss the moment.

He didn't catch them, unfortunately. 

Then one day, the pattern changed. 

He woke as he normally did, made his morning tea, sat on the sofa mindlessly scrolling through TikTok. Something was different today. Looking at the time on his phone, 6:30 am, then outside through the blinds. The little yellow Miata sat parked in its usual spot, instead of the empty parking space that should be at this time of day. 

Will’s brows furrowed, but he had no time to wonder the reason at the moment, so he got ready and left his flat. With his hand on the door knob, he locked the door of his flat. Footsteps came from his left and slowed as it got closer to him, “Mornin’.” a female voice called out. 

Turning, he saw a stranger. She was shorter than him, wearing an oversized hoodie, baggy jeans, and a pair of white Club C 85. Blinking in surprised, he took a deep breath in shock, and smelt coconut. “Good morning.” Will greeted back.

“I’m your new neighbour. I live in the next flat,” she held her hand out and introduced herself. Will smiled and said, “I’m Will.” she smiled back, replying “I’ve been excited to meet people, but I’ve not seen other neighbours in the flat yet, only heard them.” 

She continued to walk towards the exit, Will followed after her, nodding. “Yea, tell me about it. There's some bloke nearby that's been playing loud music out their car every morning and evening.”

They had got to the door by that point, and she opened the door for him, motioning for him to move through first, he nodded his head in thanks and said “Oh really? I can't say I’ve heard it.” 

He shrugged “They must’ve decided they’d have a lie in today.” he looked at the time on his phone and told her “Listen, it was nice to meet you,” he said her name “but I’ve got to head to work. I’ll see you around, love.” 

Will heard her reply as he walked off. Just as he put on his headphones, he heard the noise he’d been hearing every day for the past month that signalled the Miata being unlocked. He whipped around, mouth agog, his eyes widening when he saw the girl he’d just met climb into the car. 

Then the realisation hit him. She was the mysterious neighbour whose music had been invading his mornings and evenings, and he had no idea she'd been living right next to him.

He gulped, and watched her drive off.

What do we think of this part 1?

[tradgedyinwaves]

Touch - Ch. 5

Poly!141 x chunky!reader tw: little stalkerish at the end

Sunday Morning. 

You woke the next day to a bouquet of white lilies of the valley and yellow roses from Price for his “ungentlemanly actions” the night before and you found yourself immediately forgiving him. It was nice to know that despite what Kit had said, you were desired by someone. And how could you hold that against John? 

🪻: I suppose I forgive you. 🥃: How magnanimous of you, little bird. Does this mean I can expect a second date? 🪻: I guess. :P 

Your phone was now constantly blowing up with messages from Johnny and Price. And then Kyle was added, asking for your number from Price who’d asked you and you’d given your permission. You didn’t know what was going on. This time last year, you couldn’t get your husband to even look at you and now three very, very attractive British S.A.S members were clambering over each other for your attention. You didn’t know what they saw in you, but you weren’t going to complain. Eventually, the four of you ended up in a group chat when both Johnny and Kyle decided they wanted to take you out too. 

🪻: Alright. Do you guys even know the others have asked me out? Cause while I’m not complaining, ya’ll are friends.  🧼: Aw Petal. Just a wee competition between mates. 🥃: They’re just worried that I snagged you first, little bird.  👀: Excuse you. We’re giving her options for when she decides she doesn’t want you, old man.  🥃: Kyle, I am barely 10 years older than you. That doesn’t make me elderly. 🪻: -grabs popcorn- This is entertaining. I’ve never had men fight over me before. 🧼: Just you wait, they get worse than this.

And it did.

On Monday, Kyle showed up at your job and insisted on taking you out for lunch, his treat of course.

On Tuesday, Johnny brought flowers to you AND your boss who immediately told you that he was the one to pick. 

On Wednesday, Price picked you up from work and took you to a little bookstore, buying anything you even glanced at.

On Thursday, no one showed up to dote on you and despite numerous messages, no one replied to you.

On Friday, you received a single message from each of them.

🥃: Being deployed. Be safe, little bird. We’ll be thinking of you.  🧼: Heading out for a mission, petal. We’ll miss you. 👀: Will be gone for a bit, dove. Don’t miss us too much. 

On Saturday, you tried to find something to do all day besides checking your phone every five minutes. 

On Sunday, you visited Magda.

When you finally received a text from Price two weeks later, telling you they were home safe and inviting you over, you felt a weight lift from your shoulders. You’d missed them terribly and were eager to see each of them. So after work on Friday, you rushed home, changed into some leggings and an oversized sweater and headed to the address you’d been sent. 

Pressing the buzzer, they let you in and when the door to their flat opened, Price was standing there with a warm smile. Your arms wrapped around his waist immediately, feeling his thick arms coming to envelop you while he kicked the door closed. 

“Aye, lass. He the only one that gets a hug?” Johnny asked as he rose from the couch, opening his arms with a laugh. “Johnny!” You instantly released Price and launched yourself into Johnny’s arms, hugging him just as tightly. He smelled fresh, like he’d just gotten out of the shower and you breathed in the clean scent of him. 

You felt Kyle wrap his arms around both you and Johnny, pressing against your back and sandwiching you between the two. If you thought it was weird that the three guys you were dating lived together, you didn’t say anything.

A few minutes later, you were tucked into the corner of the couch with a steaming cup of tea while you watched Johnny and Price interacting in the kitchen. It wasn’t lost on you how Price’s hand rested on the small of Johnny’s back or the way Johnny’s eyes softened when he looked at Price. You thought to ask Kyle who was taking up the other corner of the couch, but then you caught him gazing over at the other two wistfully and you felt a little like a fourth wheel. 

A door slid shut somewhere down the hall and it startled you before your gaze slid to Kyle with a raised brow. “I assume that’s Simon?” you asked, nodding your head to gesture down the hall. “Yeah, he’s not much of a people person, but he’ll warm up to you the more you’re around,” Johnny replied instead, making you look at him where he came to sit between you and Kyle. “You make it sound like I’m going to be over here a lot,” you replied with a raise of your brow. 

“Well, we’d like ya to be,” Kyle answered this time, a warm smile on his pretty face. But it felt like there was something that wasn’t being said and it put you on edge. Price could feel your apprehension as he went to sit in his armchair, noticing it on the edges of your eyes and the way you straightened up in your seat. “You look like you’re about to spring out of your seat, birdie. What’s going through your head?” Price questioned, tilting his head slightly while his eyes studied you. 

You froze at his words. You didn’t think you’d been that obvious with your discomfort, but Price had a keen eye and didn’t miss much. “I feel like there’s something I’m missing here,” you theorized, staring into your cup of tea like it was the most interesting thing in the room. Price pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, standing from his chair to sit on the coffee table in front of you. Your eyes widened when your gaze lifted to meet his sparkling blue eyes, feeling as though he was about to tell you that they no longer felt the same and you needed to leave. 

“When you work as closely with a team as we do, things…develop,” Price watched you with trepidation while you nodded, urging him to continue. “The four of us, myself, Johnny, Kyle, and Simon, we’re a team in more ways than one,” Price paused, seeing if he needed to clarify any further. You stared at him for a moment, letting his words process in your head.

“So you’re all like together together?” You clarified, bringing your cup to your lips and sipping, using the moment to gather your thoughts. “Aye, petal, we are,” Johnny replied, reaching over to pat your calf. “So what am I doing here?” you asked, trying to figure out where you fit into this with their doting and dates. Kyle’s laugh was light and airy as he moved to sit next to Price on the coffee table. “We were hoping you’d join us, dove. Don’t worry about Si. He knows what’s going on,” Kyle explained, looking at you with those dark, hopeful eyes. 

Who were you to deny these men? They’d treated you better in the weeks you’d known them than anyone else ever had and there was no question about your safety with them. “I don’t know how to do this,” You stated, hand coming out to gesture between the four of you. “I barely know how to date one person, let alone three,” you continued, feeling the shame of your past settling into your chest. 

Johnny’s hand on your calf squeezed and he flashed you a lopsided smile. “We can figure it out, together, if you want?” He offered, hope filling those cerulean hues of his. You looked between each of them, quiet as your mind swirled with questions. The most prominent being the fourth man in the equation, Simon, but you couldn’t be assed to worry about him right now. If they say he knows and would warm up eventually, you believed them. 

“Okay,” you stated, a soft smile on your lips as the boys processed your single word response. The first to react was Johnny, leaping across the couch to smother you in a bear hug while he buried his face in your hair. Price, always the mother of the group, snatched your tea cup before Johnny crushed you, setting it off to the side before pulling Kyle into his side with a wide smile. 

When you left that night, you felt at ease and dare you say it, happy. You were blessed with three men who doted on you, cared for you, treated you as if you were the world to them. Humming a little tune, you entered your apartment and immediately noticed something was different. You checked every nook and cranny, double checking the locks on the windows and even checked the door handle for pick marks. Everything looked right and instead of calling one of the boys, you sighed and shook it off, telling yourself you were imagining it. 

“Si, you’re going to have to face her at some point. She’s going to be around a lot more now,” Johnny chided while the two laid in bed. “I know, Soap, but she’s not ready,” Simon countered, staring up at the ceiling with an unlit cigarette hanging from his mouth. “Are you sure it’s not you who isn’t ready?” Johnny asked, propping himself up on his elbow and looking down at the behemoth of a man next to him. Simon just grunted and slipped from the bed just to shove the window open and light the cigarette. 

“What are you scared of?” Johnny asked as he joined Simon at the window, both of them looking down over the street below. “I just don’t want her to think I’m stalking her or something. It was over six months ago and I suddenly show up again? Not likely. I was lucky to even see her again.” Simon had never been an optimist. And that wasn’t likely to change any time soon, so Johnny let it lie as he rested his head against the man’s shoulder. 

On the roof across from your building, your shadow stood with his skull mask in place. Watching. Waiting.

Uh oh. Reader may be too happy. Hope nothing happens to her.

Thank you so much to everyone who is liking and reblogging this story! I appreciate every single one of you!

[princesssukunalover]

Partition

Nanami Kento realises his grave mistake of pushing his wife away. He'll do anything and everything to get her back.

Part 1

CW: Nanami lowkey being miserable, angst, mentions of divorce.

Part 2 of 5

wc: 1051

It starts off with remorseful gifts at your door and it's obvious who they are from. You refuse to even acknowledge your ex husband’s futile efforts to apologise. And after 2 weeks, when the entry to your apartment becomes cluttered with flowers in colours that you don’t even like, chocolates so full of sugar that you wouldn’t even lick them and cards that you don’t bother to open, you finally decide that you’ve had enough. You’ve had enough of Nanami’s weak attempts to win you back. Surely, 6 months ago you would have been gratified to even receive a single rose, picked from a bush on his way home from work, or any gesture that made you feel valued. But it took you less than a year until you asked yourself, ‘If he could not speak, would you still love him for his actions?’ And it took you less than a minute to realise that there were simply no actions that Nanami had done during your union that could prove that he truly loves his wife.

-

As Nanami is about to enter Jujutsu High for an important meeting, he is stopped by the abrupt buzzing of his phone. “I’ll be inside in 5 minutes.” He tells Gojo, who waves him off and goes inside the building, leaving the tall blonde alone. His heart stops for a moment, staring at his phone as your name appears on the screen. He answers it way too quickly. Nanami doesn’t speak. He waits to hear the sweet voice that he’s missed for these past few months. “Kento..” You start. He responds, calling your name. “I haven’t heard from you in a while.” He tells you. “And I wanted to keep it that way, Kento.” You sigh, causing his heart to drop in sorrow. He tries to talk but you cut him off. “Stop sending me these gifts. I want nothing to do with you.” You tell your ex husband. “I’m sorry.” Is all that Nanami can utter. “I mean seriously, did you think that some cheap chocolate, a waste of paper and roses that die in 3 days can undo the feeling of being neglected by the person you love most?” You question. “Is that all you think I am worth?!” You accuse him, starting to get angry and even a little embarrassed. Nanami answers quickly.

“No.. I know that wasn’t enough and I would never think that it’s all you were worth. You are worth everything to me. And I really never showed you how much I love you. I promise I won’t let it happen again-” You cut him off. “Kento, just stop. There’s no ‘again’. There’s no salvaging this. It’s over. You treated me like shit for most of our marriage, and now that you're gone, I’m doing better, Kento. I have a life now. I have a career.” You begin to explain how much your life has improved since the divorce, which he painfully listens to, the hole in his heart widening with each sentence. “It’s over.. Nanami.” You repeat before the call ends. Your ice cold tone haunts him; not because of the cruel manner that you’re speaking to him; not because you don’t bother address him by his first name; but it’s because in his soul, he knows that at some point in your marriage, he spoke to you in such a manner, and in his soul, there remains nothing but guilt and self hatred, for allowing him to lose the love of his life. 

-

Life for Nanami resumes after one or two months. His mansion that was once littered with empty takeout boxes is now looking cleaner these days. He’s built up a routine that distracts him from the sorrows of life. He spends his evenings alone, cooking meals that lack love and warmth, but it keeps him fed and alive, so he doesn’t give a damn. He spends his mornings working out on the floor of his cold living room, the same living room where you would make love together in the early start of your relationship. He ignores the pain in his muscles as he abuses them with every added kilogram of weight. It’s incomparable to the pain which he feels when he takes a glimpse of the wedding photos on his fridge that he refuses to get rid of. His friends wonder if he is some kind of masochist, who needs a constant reminder of the mistakes that he has made.

Every once in a while, Kento will go to a diner and treat himself to a warm and thoughtful meal. It’s one of the small ways that he can commit an act of self-love without feeling undeserving of it. Quickly, that self-love rots into self-hate as he looks up from his plate on a random Friday evening. His heart genuinely drops when he sees you walk through the door, all dolled up. Weeks of progress are undone in 10 short seconds as he scans your body from head to toe. It all comes flashing back. He remembers everything. He remembers the way he’d fuck you senselessly against the counter, against the dining table, on his bed, on his couch. He remembers the way he’d wake up next to you, watching how beautiful you looked in your sleep. And he remembers what he lost. And it is at that same moment that he remembers Gojo’s words, which echo in his mind. He needs to win you back. He’s going to win you back. 

Kento watches deliberately. It would seem that you’re on some kind of date. He wonders how many dates you’ve been on since the divorce. And although it’s not completely unexpected to him that you’re beginning to date again, he admits that it’s quicker than he would’ve wanted. You don’t notice your stoic ex-husband at first, as you greet the man that you’re meeting with, who kindly gives you a beautiful bouquet of flowers, which you are too sweet to admit, gives you some form of PTSD. After your first glass of wine, you finally notice that somebody is staring intently in your direction. As you squint your eyes to get a better look across the room, you’re met with a smirk, coming from your handsome ex-husband. Your chest feels hollow.

Comments, likes and reblogs appreciated <3 This chapter is just some plot..

[callsign-dexter]

Surprises and Smiles

Request: Could you do one for Bobby Nash from 9-1-1 with wife fem!reader? Maybe not feeling well lately and he's worried and Hen know why she's not feeling well (pregnant maybe?) And she surprise him after shift with the help of the other?

Pairings: Bobby Nash x Wife!Reader

Warnings: fluff

Masterlist

A/N: Thank you @pear-1206 for requesting this!

Lately you haven't been feeling the greatest. Every morning you started out with running to the bathroom and throwing up and your husband would come in and hold your hair back and comfort you and whisper encouraging things in your ear and asking if you're sure you don't want him to go to work. You also noticed that you were starting to get bloated and you were late by several weeks now that you thought about it. It was still starting to worry you and your husband, Bobby Nash. 

You were told before that you couldn’t have kids when you both were trying and it killed you on the inside but that didn’t stop you and him from having sex and since you couldn’t have kids you both don’t worry about taking any precautions. For the past week you had been off your game tired, hungry, moody, and nauseous. You were scared and you didn’t know what to do so you turned to your best friend and your husband’s coworker, Henrietta ‘Hen’ Wilson. You called her up.

“Hey, Girl. What's up?” She asked

“Hey, can you come over?” You asked her.

“Yea, I can be there in 10 minutes. Everything ok?” She asked

“Ummm not really.” You said being vague and that was throwing her off.

 “Y/N are you ok?” She asked

“No, I’ve been throwing up every morning, I’m tired all the time, my back hurts, I’m hungry all the time, and I’ve been snapping at everyone and it kills me because I’m not like that. Hen I’m not.” You said crying “And here comes the emotions.” You said 

“Ok ok. Calm down. I will be there in 5 minutes. I just need to stop at the store and grab something, ok?” She asked 

“Ok.” You said sniffling.

“Stay calm and I will be there soon. Drink some water and relax.” She said “I’m going to hang up now, ok?” She asked

“Ok.” You said and then you both were hanging up and now you were waiting for her on the couch.

5 minutes passed and there was a knock on the door and you were getting up and opening it. When you saw her, you started to cry. “Hey.” She said and brought you into her arms.

“Hi.” You choked out. 

“Let’s go and sit on the couch and I’ll start checking you over, ok?” She asked and you nodded.

“Ok.” You said sniffling. You both went to the couch and you sat down and she sat to the side of you. 

“Where is Bobby anyways?” She asked

“He went out with Buck. I told him that I wasn’t feeling well and told him to go.” You said as she checked everything that she could on you and nothing abnormal came up with the general checkup. She then brought up the question that you hadn’t thought of for a while not since that day you found out. 

“I don’t see anything physically wrong with you check up wise. I have to ask, is there a possibility that you could be pregnant?” She asked and you were looking at her dumbfounded.

“No, there can’t be no way.” You said

“It wouldn’t hurt to check. When I stopped at the store I grabbed some pregnancy tests.” She said and you looked at her “Please just humor me.” She said and you sighed.

“Fine.” You said and then got up taking the tests. You got up and went to the bathroom.

“I’ll be right out here when you’re done. Just call for me.” She said and you nodded. You walked into the bathroom and shut the door and took the tests and now you had to wait 5 minutes. You opened the door “Hen, I’m done.” You said and she walked into the bathroom and she sat down on the tub that you had sat down on. “What if I am pregnant?” You asked

“That would be great. How would you feel?” She asked 

“Ecstatic.” You said as the timer went off and you got up and grabbed the capped pregnancy tests. You took a breath and looked down at them and your heart stopped. You were looking at two positive pregnancy tests. Of course, you were delighted but you were in shock, you were told it was not possible for you to have kids. 

“Y/N are you ok?” Hen asked as she looked at with worry on her face.

“I think so.” You said 

“How are you feeling right now?” She asked

“I really don’t know. I’m excited but I’m shocked. I was told when we were trying to have kids that I couldn’t. I was so devastated that I didn’t even get a second opinion.” You said looking at her.

“When are you going to tell Bobby?” She asked

“I want to be sure. I want to get a doctor’s appointment but I don’t want to go alone. I don’t want him to go with me just to have his heart broken again. I can’t do that to him, he was so heartbroken even more than I was when we were told that there was no way we could have kids.” You said and she nodded.

“Do you want me to come with you?” She asked and you looked at her with tears in your eyes.

“Please.” You said and she smiled.

“I will. Come here.” She said and opened her arms and you fell into them. “Everything is going to be ok. I promise. We’re all here for you.” She said and you nodded as you pulled out your phone and shakingly pulled up your gynecologist contact. You called them and made the appointment.

“They can get me in 10 AM tomorrow morning.” You said and she smiled and then the door was opening and your husband’s voice calling out to you. You were quick to hide the tests with Hen and then you both were coming out of the bathroom wiping your face of tears. 

“Honey, I'm home!” He shouted 

“I'll be there in a second.” You said back as you walked out of the bathroom and Hen followed. Bobby spotted you and smiled and then he saw Hen.

“How was your day?” He asked coming over and hugging you and the smell of his cologne made you close your eyes and melt into him.

“It was good. Wanted some girl time with my best friend so I called her over.” You said 

“What did you both do?” He asked as he pulled away from the hug and you almost let out a whimper.

“Oh, nothing really. Lazed around the house and gossiped.” Hen said and you nodded. 

“That sounds like a good girl’s day.” He said and you smiled. You felt better with having him around. 

“I'm actually going to go out with her tomorrow before shift. I need to get some shopping done and want a girl’s opinion.” You said and he nodded. He wasn't one to get upset over you not wanting his opinion and you were glad about that. Lord knows you've asked for his opinion so many times.

“Well, I will get going. I'll see you in the morning Y/N.” She said and you smiled and hugged her smiling.

“Thank you.” You whispered in her ear and she hugged you tighter letting you know she heard you and saying you're welcome. She then was releasing you and then grabbing her stuff and headed out the door leaving you and Bobby alone. 

“Are you ok?” He asked once she left and you looked at him and smiled.

“I'm so much better now that you're here.” You said and he smiled and kissed your forehead. 

“Are you hungry?” He asked and you shook your head.

“Not right now.” You said and he smiled.

“What do you want to do for the rest of the day?” He asked 

“I want to spend every waking moment with you. It doesn't even matter what it is. I just want it to be with you.” You said and he smiled.

“I would like nothing less. I love you.” He said

“I love you too.” You replied and so that's how the rest of the day was spent. You by your husband’s side or in his arms. That's where both of your happy places were. When you were with each other than nothing else mattered. 

As you both laid down for the night you stayed awake for a little bit thinking of the possibilities going through everything. Your mind didn't stop until he rested his hand on your stomach and a smile came to your face and that is how you fell asleep.

*******************************

The next morning something good had you waking up and walking into the kitchen. When you got there, you saw your husband over the stove cooking something that smelled delicious and familiar and then it hit you, it was your favorite breakfast. “Whatever you’re cooking smells delicious.” You said and that had Bobby turning around and smiling.

“Hey, Baby. I figured I would cook you something before not seeing you for two days and it is something easy on your stomach. Also, you can freeze or store the rest.” He said and you started to cry. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked coming over to you and gently placing his hands on your face.

“Nothing. I promise. You’re just too good to me.” You said and he smiled.

“Anything for my girl.” He said and kissed your forehead and then the oven was beeping and he was pulling away and heading over to the oven and stove. As he got the food ready you watched him, if you were pregnant then your baby is going to have the luckiest father in the world. Then again, he was raising several other grown adults at work. You both got your plates filled and sat down to eat, breakfast was filled with small talk and you actually could stomach the food and you weren’t rushing to the bathroom to throw up, which was a miracle. After food was eaten you got in the shower and got ready for the day while Bobby cleaned up and put food away.

10 AM rolled around and Hen was knocking on the door and you were still getting ready so Bobby got the door. You could hear their voices from in the bedroom. “Good morning, Bobby.” Hen said.

“Good morning.” She replied

“Big plans for you both today?” He asked and you smiled and you knew she wouldn’t tell him not without running it by you, it was your news to tell. 

“Oh yea. We're going to go shopping.” She said and he smiled and nodded. He knew you didn't like shopping so this was a big deal if it were up to you then you would do all of your shopping online.

 “Those are some big plans. She should be out here in a minute.” He said and Hen smiled and nodded and you took that as a cue to head out there. When you came into his view he smiled “There she is.” He said, which made Hen turn and smile.

“Are you ready to go?” She asked and you nodded.

“As ready as I ever will be.” You said and that had everyone chuckling and smiling. So, you bid your husband a goodbye with a kiss and a I love you and then the both of you were out the door. 

“How are you feeling?” Hen asked as she drove to the medical center.

“Nervous. What if the tests were wrong and I'm not pregnant?” You asked 

“Then we will deal with it. If you want my opinion, I think you are because of all the symptoms you told me. I can feel it.” She said and you smiled 

“Thank you.” You said 

“For what?” She asked even though she knew the answer.

“For being here with me. For coming to me when I was freaking out.” You said and she turned to look at you when she had parked in front of the building.

“It's my pleasure really. I'm your best friend, that's what I'm supposed to do.” She said and you smiled. She was right. She had been your best friend ever since she started to work at the 118 and you couldn't have asked for a better friend. You took a deep breath and let it out.

“I'm ready.” You said and she smiled and nodded then you both were getting out of the car and locking the door. When you got into the building you went to reception and got some paperwork to fill out while Hen went and grabbed a spot. When you got it, you went and sat down and now both of you sat in the waiting room.

“Do you want me to come back with you?” She asked and you debated it as you filled out the paperwork.

“Part of me yes and part of me no.” You said and she didn't take offense to that. 

“I'll be right here when you do make the decision.” She said and you smiled and nodded as you finished the paperwork and took it up the front and then went and sat back down with Hen.

“Thank you.” You said and hugged her.

“You're welcome.” She said and then the nurse was calling your name. You breathed in and stood up.

“Do you mind staying here?” You asked 

“Not at all. If you want me in there then tell someone and I’ll be in there.” She said and you nodded and then you were heading off with the nurse. When you arrived at a room, she led you in and turned to you.

“Please make yourself comfortable Dr. Muntz will be here in a few minutes.” The nurse said and you smiled and nodded.

“Thank you.” You said and she smiled and nodded. She then left you alone. You didn’t have to wait long until there was a knock on the door and it was opening to reveal the doctor.

“Good morning Mrs. Nash. How are you this morning?” She asked

“Better than I have been in the past mornings. I actually was able to eat and keep it down this morning.” You said and she smiled and nodded and wrote things down. 

“From looking at the symptoms that you said I have a sneaking suspicion that you’re pregnant. I’m going to run some bloodwork and then an ultrasound. How long has this sickness been going on for?” She asked.

“About 9 weeks, so 2 months.” You said and she nodded and wrote it down. 

“May I ask why you didn’t come in sooner?” She asked and you nodded.

“When my husband and I were trying to get pregnant for months I went and got checked out and there I was told I would never be able to have children. So, I didn’t think anything of being pregnant. I took some pregnancy tests just out of curiosity and they were both positive so I just wanted to be sure.” You said and she nodded.

“I’ll get someone in here to do some bloodwork and I’ll be back in a few.” She said and you nodded and she was gone and a nurse was coming in.

“Hi, I’m Nurse Harper. I’m gonna get some blood, ok?” She asked and you nodded.

“Ok.” You said and she did what she told you and she was gone. It amazed you at how quickly everything was getting done. While you set alone thoughts ran through your head, you so desperately wanted a kid especially with Bobby. 

20 minutes later Dr. Muntz was walking in with a smile on her face and you prepared for the worst and the best. “I have the results and I would like to say congratulations.” She said and tears spring to your eyes.

“Really?” You asked and she nodded and smiled.

“We can do an ultrasound if you would like.” She said 

“Please.” You said and she smiled.

“Go ahead and lay back and raise your shirt up.” She said and so you did and she brought over the machine and some gel. “This is going to be a little cold.” She said and you nodded and she spread the gel over your stomach and you shivered “I’m sorry.” She said and you shook your head.

“It’s ok.” You replied she then brought the wand down on your stomach and moved it over it. 

“Everything looks good here and here is your baby.” She said and froze it on the spot and you started to cry harder.

“Can I have a few copies?” You asked in a teary voice.

“Of course.” She said and gave you a paper towel to wipe the gel off as she printed out the pictures and handed them to you. “Here is a folder with lists of things you should be doing and medications you should be taking. There is one for what you should be eating and staying away from. There is some information in there as well on other things. You can also call and ask questions and my personal number is in there as well. Are there any questions?” She asked and you nodded.

“My previous gynecologist said I would never be able to have kids. Why is that?” You asked

“There are a lot of possibilities and things change when you get older. Your body could have not been ready for kids and it was showing that but it is now or they could’ve been wrong about everything. But your body is ready now and you’re growing a life inside of you. We’ll be here every step of the way for you and your husband.” She said you teared up.

“Can I hug you?” You ask and she chuckled.

“Of course.” She said and you did so and then you released her “Go head and head on out and reception will set you up with appointments and get medications called in for you.” She said and you smiled and nodded and did just that. When you got to the waiting room Hen saw you and you smiled at her and nodded. Once you got everything set up you thanked reception and walked over to her.

“Is it official?” She asked and you nodded.

“It is.” You said wiping tears away and smiling.

“Oh, this is exciting! Bobby is going to be ecstatic!” She exclaimed

“Oh shit! How am I going to tell him?” You asked

“You’ll think of a way. You’re smart.” She said and you chuckled and then you two were walking out and she drove you home. 

“I have a way but I need your help.” She said as she pulled up into the driveway, Bobby was already gone. She nodded and you told her after a long explanation you were getting out and watching her drive away. You went inside and started to plan on what you needed. You got into your car and drove to the store and got the cutest shirts ever: ‘My Daddy is My Hero’ with a firetruck on it and ‘My Daddy is a Firefighter’. You were amazed at how many firefighter baby outfits there were. You went home and started to plan everything out and worked on how much you would need to buy and how much to save. You put his gift together and attached the ultrasound picture. You kept this up until it was time to go to bed.

*******************************

Two days later you were nervous. You spent most of the morning perfecting his gift and preparing yourself for the outcomes. You looked down at your watch and saw that it was later than you thought. You took a breath and let it out. “Alright let’s do this.” You said and drove to the station. When you got there, you parked by his truck and got out while grabbing the bag and walked in. You quickly spotted Hen “Hen!” You said and she turned around and smiled.

“Hey! You ready to do this?” She asked and you nodded.

“Yup, I’m ready.” You said

“Hey, Y/N/N.” Buck and Eddie said at the same time and then Chimney came over and greeted you.

“Have you told them?” You asked Hen and she nodded.

“Congratulations by the way.” Eddie said and you smiled.

“Thank you.” You said 

“When did you find out?” Buck asked

“3 days ago.” You said 

“That’s great.” Chimney said and then you looked at Hen and nodded and she looked at everyone else.

“Cap! Get down here!” She yelled and you couldn’t help but keep smiling as you heard his footsteps and you took your spot on the floor with the help of Buck and they all gathered around.

“What? Is everyone ok?” He asked and he saw everyone gathered around.

“Y/N got here and she just collapsed.” Hen said keeping a straight face and he was quick to bend down.

“Baby, are you ok?” He asked, worry evident on his face and you nodded.

“Yea, I just light headed for a minute.” You said and that wasn’t all a lie.

“Let’s get you up and sitting on something more comfortable.” He said and you nodded as everyone helped you stand and then helped you up the stairs to the couch and he sat down beside you. You made sure to grab you the present and then once everyone was gone you decided it was time to tell him.

“Thank you, Baby. Our baby is going to be so lucky to have you as a dad.” You said casually letting it slip and it seemed like he caught on.

“What did you just say?” He asked and you smiled.

“Our baby is going to be so lucky to have you as a dad.” You said and you could see the gears turning and then you handed him the bag and he slowly took out the outfits.

“Are you serious?” He asked and you nodded.

“I am.” You said and then he got to the ultrasound picture and tears sprung to his eyes.

“When did you find out?” He asked

“3 days go.” You said and then he was pulling you into a hug.

“I thought you were told you couldn’t have kids.” He said breathlessly.

“I did too but they said the other doctor got it wrong. I can have kids.” You said and a wide smile broke out on his face and one did on yours too and happy tears sprung to your eyes.

“I’m so happy for us, Baby. You’re going to be a good mom.” He said “How far along are you?” He asked and you smiled. 

“I’m happy to. You’re going to be such a good dad. 9 weeks so 2 months.” You said and then he was slipping off the couch and kneeling coming face to face with your stomach. Hands on your stomach and he started to speak.

“Hi, baby. It’s your dad. I promise to be a good one to you and I’ll love you and your mom unconditionally. Your mom is such an amazing mom so please don’t give her a hard time.” He said and you smiled as you ran a hand through his hair and you kissed his head. “You don’t know this but you're our little miracle. We can’t wait for you to be here in our arms.” He said and then pressed a kiss on your stomach and leaned up and kissed you.

“Congratulations, Daddy.” You said against his lips.

“Right back at you, Mommy.” He said, making you chuckle as he put his forehead on yours.

You both couldn’t wait for this baby. You both were going to love him or her unconditionally. It may be hard at times but you both had each other to lean on. Having each other to lean on is all that matters and so is having a healthy baby. You both were ready for this after trying for months and failing and getting told you couldn’t have kids. You finally had your miracle and you couldn’t wait to raise him or her. Your family was now becoming complete.

Tag list:

@kmc1989

@els-marvelvsp

@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

@grandstrangerphantom

@angenu01-blog

@talesofreading

@callsign-revenge

[cookiescribble]

Show Me How To Be Whole Again

A/N: hi everyone! This is the fic I've been working on for eight months 😮‍💨. I hope it came out as well as I hoped it would 😅 - mod angel

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: When Spencer is abducted, you rush to the team to make sure you're there when they find him. After you get home, Spencer's behavior starts to get more and more concerning, and you're desperate for answers. (based on 2x15 and the aftermath of that episode)

Word Count: 7.1k

CW: Mentions of abduction, violence, drug addiction, withdrawal, arguing. some angst in the middle but i am incapable of writing something without a happy ending.

~~~~~

The call came early in the morning. They said they called you as soon as they could. 

If you were thinking rationally, or if you could stand being alone for 5 minutes after hearing the news, maybe you would’ve stayed home. But you couldn’t stay put knowing Spencer was in trouble. 

You quickly threw a few days’ worth of clothes in a carry-on bag and took the first flight out of the nearest airport. You were trying so hard to keep yourself together and not break down crying on a crowded airplane, but the thoughts just kept rushing in your head. You were so worried about him. 

When you landed, you called the team and told them you were going to the police station and you were going to stay there until they found him. You wouldn’t let anyone argue with you. You wouldn’t be able to calm down until they found him anyway, so being anywhere else didn’t make sense. 

You didn’t really think of what you’d do when you got there. You’d just been on autopilot since you got the call. You were hoping someone would meet you there. 

When you frantically burst through the doors of the police station, JJ was standing there waiting for you. You dropped your bag and hugged her tight. 

“It was my fault,” she choked out, sobbing. “We were together and… we split up… I shouldn’t have split up…”

You shook your head vigorously. “No, no, you’re not the one who abducted him. It’s not your fault.” You were also sobbing now. You tried taking deep breaths to calm yourself, but all you could think about was what could possibly be happening to Spencer right now. 

You calmed down enough to ask, “Where is everybody else?”

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath herself. “We set up at the unsub’s house. He took Spence to a secondary location, and Garcia set up there to get to his computers.” She looked down. “I really should be getting back there.”

You nodded while she talked. “I’m coming with you,” you announced. 

She looked at you, concerned. “We can’t risk you-“

You cut her off. “I am coming with you. I’m staying with you until we find him,” you stated forcefully. 

She didn’t argue further. She could see the desperation in your eyes, you’re sure. Even someone who didn’t analyze behavior for a living could see that. “Alright. Let’s go.”

…

You arrived at the house. You couldn’t tell how long the car ride took; every second felt like an hour. 

When everybody saw you, they took turns giving you a hug. You could tell they were concerned that you were here, but they could see how devastated you were. You think they understood. 

You hung around while they all did their jobs and tried to find Spencer. You sat next to Penelope and watched as she tried to do whatever she could to help find him. 

Time passed. The team was coming in and out of the room as they needed to. Derek was probably in here the most, giving his moral support to Penelope. 

Suddenly, the monitors in front of you lit up. 

“What‘s happening?” Derek asked. 

“I… don’t know,” Penelope answered. 

Your heart dropped as an image popped up on the screen. 

It was Spencer. He was sitting in a chair, his hands tied together. He was wearing the clothes you watched him pack on the morning you last saw him. 

He looked so scared. 

“Guys! Get in here!” you heard Derek yell. 

You couldn’t look away from the screen. 

The rest of the team rushed in, faces dropping as they saw what was happening. 

Someone was talking in the background of the stream. You couldn’t hear them. Your heart was thumping so hard you could hear it in your ears. Spencer was replying to whatever they were saying. Through your loud heartbeat, you could hear his trembling voice. Your eyes started to water. 

After a few moments, you heard someone near you say something and suddenly you were being pulled away from the screen and into another room. 

When you realized what was happening, you looked up to see Hotch holding your shoulders, pushing you away from the horrific scene unfolding on the monitors. 

You started sobbing. “I have to see him,” you tried to say, but your voice was cracking. 

“No. You saw that he’s alive. That’s all you need to see.” he said firmly. He was protecting you from seeing something that would truly break you. 

You couldn’t argue. What you saw shook you to your very core; you couldn’t go back in there. You squeezed your eyes shut and nodded. “You’re going to find him and bring him back safe.” It wasn’t a question. You knew they’d find him. They had to. 

You took a step back, telling Hotch he could go back to the team in the other room, and that you were okay out here.

You sat at a table, laying your head down and covering it with your arms. You had started crying, and you couldn’t stop. How could they do this to him? He’s never done anything to hurt anybody. All he does is help people. How could someone look at him and feel anything other than warmth, comfort, and love?

You heard footsteps come into the room. The girls came in and sat around you. You picked your head up to look at them, your eyes already swollen from crying so much. 

“What happened?” you asked frantically. Your heart was racing again. 

“He’s okay,” Emily said quickly. “He’s alive. The unsub… made him choose a victim to keep alive, but there’s going to be more victims… and then the camera cut off.” She took a deep breath. “It looked like making that decision let him live.”

You buried your face in your hands. This was so cruel. you knew he dealt with bad people every day, but… this was so heartbreaking. How could someone feel so little remorse for other human beings that they force an innocent person to decide someone’s fate?

You took deep breaths to try not to cry again. “I can tell he’s in so much pain right now… He’s going to blame himself for all those people’s deaths. The guilt is going to eat him up inside. He’ll feel horrible even if he does make it out of this.”

Everyone took turns patting your back to reassure you. “He is going to make it out of this. He’ll be home soon.”

You nodded, forcing yourself to believe it. You had to believe it. If you didn’t believe it… you would break down more than you ever have before. 

…

You stayed in that room for what felt like an eternity. The team took turns keeping you company when they weren’t busy. They gave you vague updates to let you know that Spencer was still alive. They didn’t tell you details of what they saw. You didn’t ask. Seeing the somber looks on their faces told you all you needed to know.

Eventually, everyone came rushing out of the room, putting on their coats and practically running out the door. Penelope came to sit with you, her eyes wide and full of hope. “They found where he is. They’re going to him now.” She hugged you tightly. “He’s going to be okay.”

Tears leaked out of your eyes again. This time they were happy tears. The immense rush of relief you felt was enough to render you speechless for a while, until you finally choked out, “They’re going to call us when he’s safe?” She nodded eagerly and you let out a huge sigh of relief. 

The wait felt like forever. You were still nervous. What if they don’t get to him in time? What if they’re just barely too late?

Finally, finally Penelope’s phone rang. She answered quickly, nodding at what she was hearing. Eventually she hung up and looked at you, smiling. “He’s with them now. The unsub is dead. They’re rushing an ambulance but his injuries seem minor considering… what’s been happening.”

You closed your eyes and took another big sigh of relief. “I’m going to meet the ambulance there,” you declared.

Penelope looked at you quizzically. “I don’t know if-“

“You said the unsub is dead,” you cut her off. “There’s no more danger. I’m going to him.” You saw keys to one of the FBI vehicles that was left over since they had multiple people to a van. You picked them up and tossed them to Penelope. “You know their coordinates. You drive.”

She caught the keys and nodded at you, unable to argue with your logic. You both rushed out to the van and sped over to the location. 

You saw the ambulance as you arrived there. You barely waited for Penelope to put the car in park before you were running out the door to where the ambulance had parked. 

You saw Spencer sitting at the edge of the back of the ambulance with a first aid blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He was beaten up, but he was still conscious and alert. You were relieved his injuries weren’t worse. 

“Spencer!” you shouted as you ran towards him. He looked your way, his eyes widening as he saw you. 

You threw your arms around his shoulders when you reached him. His shock quickly turned to something softer as he relaxed into your arms, wrapping his arms around your waist. 

You nestled your face into his neck for a few moments, unable to stop your sobs of joy. “Oh, sweetie…” you cooed into his ear. 

He moved so his forehead was touching yours. Tears were streaking down his face. “I’m sorry…” he started. 

You shook your head vigorously. “No apologies. You’re okay now.” You kissed him on the forehead gently and threaded your fingers in his hair “Everything’s going to be okay.”

He nodded and tightened his grip on you, kissing you firmly. He kissed you for a long time before finally pulling away, resting his forehead on yours. “I love you,” he whispered.

You smiled warmly, whispering back to him. “I love you, too.”

You stayed like that for a few moments before everyone started pushing Spencer to get in the ambulance so he could go to the hospital. You rode with him, of course. You held his hand the whole way there. 

He wasn’t in the hospital for too long. They were able to treat his wounds relatively easily. The team waited in the waiting room while you followed him into the examination room. 

When you came back to the waiting room, hand in hand, everyone rushed to greet you before you all headed to the jet. 

You sat in the corner of the couch to the side of the other seats, motioning for Spencer to lay his head in your lap. He followed eagerly, curling up on his side and nestling his head in your lap. 

You ran your fingers through his curls as he began to fall asleep. He must’ve been exhausted. You couldn’t imagine him sleeping during any of that. 

You stayed like that the whole ride home, him asleep and you petting his hair softly. 

You gently woke him up when you landed. “C’mon, baby. We’re going home.”

He sat up and rubbed his eyes. You kissed his cheek before standing up, taking his hand as you went to the parking lot. He obviously wasn’t in any condition to drive, so he handed you the keys to his car and let you drive home. You insisted on stopping and getting some food on the way back. He said he didn’t feel hungry, but once he started eating, it seemed like he’d never stop. He must’ve been starving.

When you walked into your apartment, he grabbed you and hugged you tightly to his chest. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, relaxing into him. 

“I missed you so much.” He was crying again, sniffling softly. “I thought about you every waking moment. I knew I had to make it through because you were waiting for me.” He leaned down to kiss your forehead, closing his eyes and savoring the moment. 

“I missed you too,” you said quietly, looking into his eyes with a soft expression. “I knew you were going to make it back.” You hugged him tight again. “I didn’t see everything. The team… made sure I didn’t see anything that was going to hurt me.”

He nodded, leaning down to stroke your cheek gently with his thumb. “I’m glad you didn’t have to see me like that.” He touched his forehead to yours. “What matters now is that I’m here with you.” He kissed you slowly, pushing your hair out of your face. 

You kissed for a long time, slowly making your way to your bedroom. You smiled up at him after a while. “As much as I would love to continue this…” You gestured to the bed. “You need to sleep.”

As if to prove your point, he let out a quiet yawn. You smiled as he sat down at the edge of the bed. You grabbed his pajamas from the drawer and helped him get changed and settled into bed. 

He lay his head on your chest and you stroked his hair gently, just like you did the whole way home. “Go to sleep, baby,” you whispered as his eyes closed. After a moment you heard his breathing slow as he fell asleep. 

“Goodnight,” you whispered, kissing the top of his head before relaxing to fall asleep yourself.   

…

After that night, things got… bad. 

Spencer wasn’t acting like himself anymore. He was… distant. Cold. He had never acted this way towards you before. Or anyone, for that matter. 

You had never had a problem with intimacy before, but suddenly he refused to touch you. Any time you would reach for his hand, or try to put your arm around him, he’d just shrug you off of him and move away from you. It always ended in you mumbling an apology and putting some space between you. 

He never explained why he didn’t want you to touch him. In fact, he didn’t talk a whole lot anymore. You often sat in silence, completely apart from each other. You always used to be able to count on him to fill these silences, but now he just stayed quiet. 

When he did talk, he was a lot more cold to you than he used to be. You had never fought before, but now it felt like any time he talked it was to argue with you about something. It felt like he was always angry lately. 

He didn’t even like to sleep in the same bed as you anymore. Most nights, if not every night, he slept on the couch. You started begging him, telling him that you would never cross over your side of the bed, but he shrugged you off saying he just needed to be alone.

All of this was really taking a toll on you. You tried not to show it, because you knew he was going through a hard time, so you only let your feelings out in places you could be alone. Which meant you spent a lot of time crying in the bathroom.

This went on for months. You thought that, surely, he had to tell you what was going on eventually. He had never hidden anything from you before, so you didn’t really know what to do, or how to handle this. You didn’t want to push him into talking about things he didn’t want to talk about, but something was very clearly wrong. 

After a particularly bad argument one night, you couldn’t take it anymore. You had to go to someone about this. For Spencer’s sake.

The next morning, you set an extra early alarm, quietly getting dressed and tiptoeing past Spencer, who was asleep on the couch, and silently leaving your apartment. 

As you got in your car and started driving, you started arguing with yourself in your head. Part of your brain was trying to say that this wasn’t going to help, and that this was just like being a little kid and tattling to a teacher. But the emotional part of your brain was saying that just telling anyone would be able to help Spencer. And that little shred of hope was all it took to convince you to do this.

You shoved open the doors to the BAU, hoping that Spencer’s stories about his boss barely leaving his office were true. When you looked around, you saw an office with a light on, making you breathe a sigh of relief.

You bound up the stairs, knocking on the office door, a little more forcefully than you had intended. Hopefully it would help get your emotions across.

“Come in,” a familiar voice ordered. 

You took a deep breath before opening the door, seeing Hotch sitting at his desk with a bunch of paperwork in front of him. You wondered just how much paperwork this job required, and if he was always here hours before everyone else.

He looked surprised to see you. He would probably be surprised to see anyone at this early hour, but considering you don’t even work for him, he probably wouldn’t have even considered the possibility of you coming here. “Is there something I can help you with?” He asked. 

You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out. You didn’t really think this far; you just figured that surely someone who works so closely with Spencer had to know something, especially since he was a profiler. 

You thought about everything that had happened in the last few months, trying to find the right words to properly articulate your concerns. But all the thoughts about Spencer pushing you away and refusing your affection, mixed with remembering what your relationship was like before that fateful night of his abduction, overwhelmed your mind so much that you just couldn’t stop your emotions flowing out. Tears welled in your eyes before starting to streak down your face. Here you were, in Hotch’s office, completely unannounced and uninvited, and you were just standing there crying.

After a few moments of crying, and of Hotch looking very concerned at this scene playing out before him, you decided it didn’t matter that you couldn’t form the perfect words. You just needed to say something. 

Through choked sobs, you finally managed to blurt out, “What’s wrong with Spencer?”

Hotch looked at you, his expression as unreadable as always. “What do you mean?”

You took a deep breath, too emotional to think about how you shouldn’t be saying all of this to your boyfriend’s boss. The words just started coming out in a rush. “Something’s wrong. We had never had a single argument before, and now the only time he ever talks to me is to pick a fight. He’s never present, he barely speaks, which I’m sure I don’t have to tell you is very strange behavior for Spencer. He never smiles anymore, he won’t let me touch him anymore, he won’t sleep in our bed anymore, he only sleeps on the couch…” 

You covered your eyes with your hands, trying to stop the tears from coming out. Finally, after some shaky breaths, you finished by saying, “I just wanted to know if there’s anything you could tell me about this. If you know why he’s acting this way. If there’s something he’s not telling me.”

Hotch hesitated before gesturing to a chair in front of his desk. “Do you want to take a seat?”

You looked at the chair, and you noticed you were shaking. You nodded, and sat down in the chair, trying to calm down. But you couldn’t help being extremely restless, your leg bouncing rapidly while you sat.

Hotch leaned forward, moving some paperwork out of the way and placing his hands on his desk. His expression was slightly softened. “Working in this field, you go through a lot of traumatic things. Reid’s abduction was one of the worst things an agent can go through.” His voice was low and steady, which was a welcome contrast to how frantic your own words had come out. “Anyone would struggle after that.”

You sighed. “I know, but-”

He raised his hand to cut you off. “That being said, we’ve all been able to tell that Reid has been a little off.” He saw you raise your eyebrow and added, “Okay, a lot off.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “We have some… theories, but we can’t know for sure what’s happening with him unless he tells us. And since he’s already struggling, we didn’t want to make it worse, especially since he’s technically just a subordinate or coworker. But if he’s not telling you either…” He looked at you sympathetically. “I’ll try to talk to him.”

You nodded, taking a deep breath. “... Thank you. Thank you so much. I’m so sorry I came here out of the blue.” You stood up, taking a step forward as if you were going to hug him, but for once your rational thoughts took over and you stayed where you were.

He stood up after you. “You’re welcome. It couldn’t have been easy to come here and talk about this.” He reached out to shake your hand, and when you shook his hand back he put his other hand over yours and spoke softly to you. “I’m going to try to get through to him. I promise.”

His gentle hands and soft-spoken words were enough to reassure you, at least for now. You nodded, thanking him again before leaving his office. You were able to leave with a lot more composure than you came here with.

It was getting late by the time you left Hotch’s office, and there were a lot more people here now. As you came down the stairs, you looked up to see Spencer staring at you. He wasn’t angry, thankfully, but he looked… kind of dumbfounded. Which made sense. You had no reason to be here at all, let alone a reason to be talking to his boss.

As you walked towards him to get to the door to leave, he turned to you. “Hey…” he started, his voice soft.

You didn’t know what to say, his soft voice sounding nothing like what you’ve been hearing these past few months. So you just kind of waved to him awkwardly, pointing to your watch to indicate that you had to get to work, and you left the BAU. 

When you got back in your car, you took a few minutes to process everything that had happened. You closed your eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to convince yourself that everything was okay. You believed Hotch when he said he’d help. It felt like Spencer was in capable hands.

…

Later that day, you had been in the bathroom when Spencer came home, and you didn’t hear the door open and close. When you came out, you saw him standing awkwardly in the front of your apartment. It made you jump a little bit. “Hi… I didn’t know you were home,” you muttered awkwardly.

He stood there looking at you, his eyes moving a little as if he was thinking of what to say. After a few moments, instead of saying anything, he walked over to you and hugged you, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist.

You just froze for a moment, not sure how to react. But he kept his tight hold on you, as if you were the only thing keeping him up right now, and you finally started to hug him back just as tightly. You both just stood like that for a few minutes, holding each other.

Finally, he spoke up. His voice was soft, barely a whisper, and he sounded so fragile. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He was starting to cry now, making soft sobbing sounds into your shoulder.

Hearing him cry broke something in you, and shortly you were also in tears. “Oh, Spence…” You squeezed him a little tighter, rubbing soothing circles on his back. “It’s okay…”

He sniffled and shook his head, pulling back a little so he could look you in the eyes. “My behavior has been abhorrent lately. I’ve been struggling, and I’ve been bottling everything up. I didn’t realize just how much this was hurting you.” He took a deep breath, trying to keep up with his thoughts. “I guess I figured, if I didn’t tell you about my problems, then they couldn’t affect you. But I was wrong. It just made it worse.”

You looked at him sadly, one of your hands moving to gently stroke his hair. “You can always come to me with anything. I’ll always try to help you. You know that.”

Some more tears started falling down his cheeks, and you started to wipe them away with your thumb. “I guess I felt like… I didn’t deserve the help.” He took a few shaky breaths as he tried to calm down. “Like I didn’t deserve you being so nice to me.”

“Spencer…” you started, trying to make your voice sound as soothing as possible. “What’s wrong? What’s so bad that you can’t tell me?”

He closed his eyes and shook his head slowly. “I… I don’t know if I can talk about it yet. But I promise I’ll tell you soon.” He looked at you determinedly. “Until then, I promise I’m going to try to be better to you.” As if to prove his point, he grabbed your face and captured your lips in a soft kiss, making your heart flutter.

After years of dating, you didn’t think you’d feel that flustered, shy feeling of butterflies in your stomach again. But, after these past few months of having no physical contact, this kiss almost felt like it was your first kiss all over again.

You couldn’t help but hold the back of his head to try to bring his face even closer to yours. You were craving his touch, and you needed his affection. On the off chance that this was a one-time thing, and that he would start to distance himself again after this, you figured you had to make it last.

He showed no signs of letting up, though, moving you both so you were laying on the couch, with him hovering over you. His lips never left yours the whole time, and his hands were moving around your face as if he was trying to remember what it felt like. 

He broke the kiss to look at you, before closing his eyes. His hands trailed from your face down to your neck, moving slightly under your shirt to your shoulders. He wasn’t just touching you, he was feeling you. As if feeling your skin would jog his memory of you. His breathing was soft and even as his hands moved down to your hips, his fingers gentle and slow on your waist as he started to lift your shirt up. 

Your breath hitched when you felt cold air suddenly hit your stomach. “Spence…” you spoke quietly, a soft blush on your face. 

He looked at you, his voice quick and reassuring. “I don’t want to do anything like… that. It would be a little too much for me right now.” He quickly flashed you that awkward little smile he had sometimes. “I just want to see you, to feel you.” His voice went a little quieter when he added, “I missed you.”

You looked at him sadly, reaching up to touch his face. “I missed you, too.” You leaned in to kiss him again. “I missed you so much.”

The soft, slow kissing resumed, and Spencer very carefully pulled your shirt over your head, his hands gently gliding over the newly exposed skin. You let out a dreamy sigh. You hadn’t realized just how touch starved you had been over these past few months. This is exactly what you had been needing. 

You just stayed on the couch like that for a while, his lips and hands on you, the gentlest of touches. After a little while longer, you started to unbutton his shirt, because you wanted to do the same to him.

He completely froze, sucking in a breath. You immediately pulled your hands away. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” You trailed off, worried that you just ruined any progress that had been made tonight. 

He shook his head, sitting up and pulling you up with him. “It’s okay, I just… I don’t want you to see me with my shirt off.” He looked at you with pleading eyes, as if he was begging you not to ask about it. 

You hesitated, but instead of asking about it you tried to be a little more lighthearted. “I’ve seen you without a shirt plenty of times, Spencer.” 

He gave you a slight smile before the worried look came back to his face. “I just…” he started, “I can’t right now. Please understand.”

You nodded, taking his hand and giving it a slight squeeze. “I understand.” You stroked his hand gently with your thumb. “I’m not going to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. You can trust me.”

He squeezed your hand back, giving you another little smile. “I know you won’t. I do trust you.” He let out a little yawn and started to rub his eyes. 

You looked at the clock, not realizing how late it had gotten. “Come on, let’s go to bed.” You leaned over to kiss his forehead. “You should get some sleep.”

You worried he would still insist on sleeping on the couch, but he just nodded, his hand still tightly holding yours as you both stood up and walked to your bedroom. He grabbed his pajamas and headed to the bathroom to change.

You sat on the bed and watched him for a few moments before he closed the door. You started to get dressed yourself, wondering what this problem was about. He had been a little shy around you when you two first started getting intimate, but you thought he had gotten over that. Had these past few months apart made the shyness come back?

Your thoughts were interrupted by Spencer coming back into the room. You stood up so he could get in bed. He looked so tired; you could see just how bad the dark circles under his eyes were.

He crawled under the covers, curling up and closing his eyes. You got in the other side of the bed, gently rubbing his back to soothe him. You didn’t want to push any boundaries, so you pulled away after just a moment.

He turned around, looking at you with those big eyes of his, and grabbed your hand, lacing your fingers together. He closed his eyes again, taking a deep breath, as if soothed by your touch. You smiled softly. He looked more peaceful than you had seen him in a long time. It made it easier to close your eyes and relax.

It was silent for a while, and you thought he had fallen asleep. But then, you heard him speak very softly. “I love you.”

You opened your eyes to see him looking back at you. You squeezed his hand gently. “I love you too.” You leaned in and kissed his forehead, making him smile. “Get some sleep. I can tell you need it,” you whispered.

He nodded and closed his eyes again, moving a little closer to you before wrapping his arms around you and nestling his head in your neck. You hesitated for a moment in shock before cradling him in your arms. You kissed the top of his head. “Goodnight, baby,” you whispered to him. Soon, you could hear his breathing soften, and you just listened to the quiet sounds of him sleeping for a few more moments before falling asleep yourself.

…

Things didn’t magically get better after that, but they did improve. 

Spencer went back to sleeping in your bed, though he seemed to have a hard time sleeping nowadays. He was always tossing and turning, and you usually woke up in the middle of the night to either try to soothe him to sleep or to keep him company when he couldn’t sleep. 

There was a lot more talking, and a lot less fighting. You could have more comfortable conversations, and he would politely tell you when he didn’t feel like talking. It was a lot better than him yelling at you to leave him alone. 

There was still some arguing, but usually only when you were trying to get him to eat. He was always saying he wasn’t hungry, and you had to try to push to get him to eat, saying he needed some kind of nutrition. Sometimes he would snap at you, saying he would eat if he was hungry and that he didn’t push you when you didn’t want to eat. He’d always apologize, though, and try his best to explain that he was either feeling nauseous or he just didn’t have much of an appetite anymore. It seemed to get a little better after a few days.

He didn’t mind a little more physical contact. He wasn’t always up for it, but he didn’t seem to mind it as much. It was always trial and error, almost like trying to pet a skittish cat. You’d start by putting a gentle hand on his, and he’d tense up for a second, and he’d either pull away and explain he didn’t want to be touched, or he’d take your hand and hold it gently. A big improvement. It was just little touches: holding hands, an arm around his shoulder, a hug… it never went past that.

He didn’t talk about what it was that was bothering him at first, but you trusted that he would tell you when he was ready. After about a week, he was finally ready to talk about it.

…

You both were sitting on the couch, in one of your quiet moments. You were reading a book, like you usually did when Spencer felt like being quiet. The silences were starting to get more comfortable, making it easier to just do quiet activities next to each other.

After a few minutes, Spencer cleared his throat, making you look over at him. You bookmarked the page you were on and turned to him. “What is it?”

He hesitated, as if he wasn’t sure how to start this conversation. He closed his eyes for a moment to put his thoughts together, before opening them again to look at you. He spoke very softly.

“When I was…” he started, swallowing and taking a deep breath to compose himself before continuing, “... When I was abducted for those few days back in February, a lot happened. The man who took me had dissociative identity disorder, and dealing with all his personalities was difficult. But there was one of his personalities that was… nicer than the others. More helpful than harmful.” He closed his eyes again, and you knew this was really hard for him to talk about. You placed a gentle hand over his, and he let out a breath, grabbing your hand and giving it a squeeze. He continued on, his voice still soft and sad.

“Unfortunately, one of the ways that he helped me was to… give me something to help numb the pain the others were causing.” He closed his eyes again, and he slowly rolled up his sleeves for you to see his arms.

You stared in shock. His arms were covered in needle marks. You covered your mouth. “Oh, Spencer…” You looked back up at his face, but his eyes were squeezed shut, as if he didn’t want to face this. You squeezed his hand to let him know you were here to support him.

“He would come to me saying Dilaudid helped with the pain, and after a few times, it started to feel… good.” He took another deep breath, his eyes still closed. “After he died, I took the bottles he still had. And when things started getting hard to handle… all the flashbacks and memories of what happened to me, I just needed to numb myself. And it worked, for a while. But eventually, I just… couldn’t stop.”

“Spencer…” you started, your voice gentle. “You could’ve come to me, I could’ve tried to help you-”

“I didn’t want that,” he cut you off. “I tried to convince myself that what I was doing wasn’t wrong. That it was just medicine that was helping me. But, obviously, I knew that wasn’t the truth. And I knew that if I told anyone about it, they would say I needed help. But I didn’t want help. I just wanted to live in this unrealistic world where everything I was doing was fine.” He finally opened his eyes to look at you. “That’s why I was lashing out. I didn’t want anyone to help me, and I also felt like I didn’t deserve anyone being nice to me.”

He looked at you very seriously. “I thought, if I didn’t tell you any of this, it couldn’t hurt you. I know how sensitive you are to other people’s emotions and problems, so I figured if I didn’t tell you, you couldn’t worry about me. Obviously, I was wrong, and that was a naive way of thinking.” He reached out and gently touched your face. “When I saw you at the BAU, I knew it was because you were worried about me, and I saw that you looked like you had been crying. And it just snapped me out of this false reality I had created for myself. And that’s when I came home and apologized, because I knew I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t keep hurting you.”

You listened to him silently while he talked, letting him get out everything he needed to say before responding. “Why didn’t you tell me that day? Or the few days after that? Why did you wait until now?”

He nodded as if he was waiting for this question. “I read that withdrawal symptoms peak within 12-48 hours, and that it usually takes 5-7 days for the symptoms to resolve. So I wanted to wait out those 7 days just to make sure.”

You gave him a sad look. “But if I knew you were having withdrawal symptoms, I could have helped you. I really wish you would have told me.”

He sighed. “I wanted to do it on my own. To prove to myself that I could do it. That I wasn’t just going to quit halfway through and relapse.”

You nodded sympathetically. “Well, I’m really glad you told me now. We can get through this together.” You gave his hand a little pat. “You know this isn’t the end of it, right? It’s not just over when withdrawal symptoms stop. You still need to work out these issues that made you start this in the first place.”

He nodded. “I know. I want to try to get help now. I… I think I’m ready. I want to look into going to therapy, and maybe some support groups if I need them.” He squeezed your hand again. “I know I can make it through this, because I know you’ll be by my side.”

You smiled softly at him. “I’ll always be by your side.” Your hand trailed up his arms, looking back at the needle marks. “Do they… hurt?” you asked softly.

He shrugged. “Only when they first appear. They don’t hurt right now.”

You nodded, and you gently touched the marks on his arm. You looked at him, and you slowly brought his arm up so you could give every little mark a gentle kiss, to let him know that everything was going to get better soon.

He looked at you with big, loving eyes, and he started tearing up a bit. He pulled you in for a tight hug, sniffling as he buried his face in your neck. “I love you so much,” he said with a shaky voice.

You held him tight, rubbing his back to comfort him. “I love you too, Spence. Everything is going to be okay.” Your voice was calm and soothing. “I’m here now.”

…

Things started to get much better after that. Spencer was way more comfortable telling you when things were feeling more difficult than usual. Typically, it would be when he came home from a particularly emotional case. You were always there to hold him and to soothe him. There was no more aversion to your touch or need for extended silences. He felt comfortable in your arms, and he knew he could talk to you when something was bothering him.

He started seeing a therapist, and you always went there with him. Usually, you just sat outside the office for his sessions so he could have the one-on-one help he needed. Sometimes, if he was having a particularly rough week, he would bring you in with him for extra support. And you were always there when he needed you.

It took a bit of time, but you learned how to help with whatever he needed you for. If he needed a distraction, you could always come up with some activity to get his mind off of things. You played a lot of board games, and started learning to bake so you could just pull out a new recipe to try and he could focus on getting everything just right. When he just needed someone to listen to him, or a shoulder to cry on, you didn’t mind being that person for him. And sometimes he just wanted to be held, saying that the physical touch grounded him. You were always happy to hold him. 

Over time, things got easier and easier to deal with. Eventually, things seemed to be fully back to normal. You both knew that this was always going to be a struggle that could come back, but you knew how to handle it now, and you were certain that you could get through any struggle that ever tried to get in your way.

[logansargeantsbabymom]

Hi could you please write an imagine for the f1 boys (mainly Charles, lando, Pierre, Charles) where they surprise the reader at work and she works in childcare. Thank you

Hey pretty, thank you for the request <3!

Work Surprises with the F1 Boys

A/N: I did make this where Y/N has different occupations working with children so it's not the boring same old same old for every driver. I hope that's okay!

Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!

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F1 Masterlist

Charles Leclerc: Pediatrician

I woke up at the same time I have for the past 3 years as I would everyday to get ready for work, at 5:30am. Now I was never and never will be a morning person but I absolutely love my job because it involves me helping kids whether they're sick or just need to get a physical for a school field trip.

I felt my boyfriend stir in his sleep next to me as I tried to sneak out of bed. My attempt of sneaking out though failed as I felt the strong arm of my boyfriend wrap around my waist and yanked me against his body. "Mmmm, don't leave" my boyfriend, Charles whispered against the crook of my neck, which caused me to shiver at the sudden breath hitting my skin.

"Baby, I have to get ready for work." I said as I ran a hand through his messy hair

A groan left his mouth before he continued, "Call out sick" his grip on my waist tightening as he snuggled closer to me to fall back asleep

"No Charles, I have too many appointments today and I won't have any cover. I'll be back soon though, remember the office closes early because it's the 4th of July?" that seemed to persuade him enough because I felt his grip loosen a bit and I took that as my queue to slip out before he had enough time to change his mind.

-

I'd only been at work for about 2 hours and I've seen about 24 patients and attempted to finish some paperwork but every time I get the second to sit down and start the papers, a new patient needs to be seen. I think the last time I've been more stressed in my life than I am right now was back when I was waiting for my score to see if I passed my pediatric exam to get my license and that because I have a waiting room of 6 more patients and all the other doctors and nurses are busy.

I can only thank the heavens because the next patient I had to see turned out to be quadruplets, which would save a significant amount of time on my behalf. Once I called the patients and led them to the room where I closed the door before asking the most important question any doctor could every ask.

"Who's Nicky, Ricky, Dicky and Dawn?" I was slightly annoyed with myself as I finished my question because anyone could tell who Dawn was so I could've easily excluded her from the question.

"I'm Nicky, that's Dicky, and that's Ricky. Dawn obviously is the only girl here so" Nicky said

"Right, well who wants to get their shots first?" I said as I looked at the pan of 8 needles. Each kid needed a flu shot and a hep b shot but as I looked around the already crowed room, none of the kids wanted to volunteer first.

With an unamused look on her face, Dawn reluctantly agreed to go first. It only took about 10 minutes to give all 4 kids their shots and when the last kid got his shot, they all bolted out of the room.

"I'm sorry about them, they hate needles" was all the mom said before she left to follow her kids.

-

It's now 11:55am and the last patient is just about to leave before we close for an hour to have lunch "Okay, if the meds aren't working for your son after about a week, I would come back but if he develops a fever and starts vomiting while taking it, I would suggest taking him to the emergency room." I said as I guided the new mom and her 3 year old daughter to the front lobby.

As soon as the last patient left, I locked the door before making my way to my office to attempt to get some of my paperwork done during my hour break instead of eating.

I was walking back to receptionist desk where I kept my paperwork so I could take them back to my office, only to find it not there. A look of confusion plastered on my face as I continued to look for my missing paperwork. I frustrated groan left my mouth as I realized I'd have to restart all that work.

"I hope you really weren't about to skip lunch for work mon cherie"

A gasp slips past my lips as I quickly turned around to see my boyfriend standing there with a stack of files in one hand and bag of Chinese food in the other.

"Charles!" I said as I walked over to him and took my paperwork back "I thought someone stole these! You scared me!" I placed my hand over my heart and I took deep breaths to try and regulate my heartbeat.

"Sorry, mon coeur but I had to take them because I knew you were going to skip lunch again." A baffled look played across my face because how did he know I have been skipping my lunch breaks to get paperwork done?

"Your coworkers have been telling me you're not eating at work. You can't tell kids to eat to grow and be strong and then not take your own advice. I'm here to make sure that you eat today so I'm making it a little lunch date. Sit and eat."

Lando Norris: Kindergarten teacher

"Ms. L/N, my dad told me that you're dating a famous wace car dwiver, is that twue?" my one student, who's name I just learn was Leo asked me.

Today was meet the teacher day at the school I taught at just 2 weeks before the first day of school and this question was very different than the ones I've been asked before. I looked up at the single dad behind him as I let out a little chuckle

"Why yes I am Leo, is your dad a fan?" I asked as I knelt to be at level with him

"Uh huh! He woves the orwange one!" I've always had a soft spot for kids and right now Leo is making my heart melt.

I didn't have a chance to respond before he ran over to his dad to tell him the good news. I got pulled aside by a parent who told me about an allergy her kid had to a specific cleaning chemical which I made a note of to avoid using in my classroom. I stuck the sticky note on my computer screen before hearing "MS L/N, YOUR BOYFRWEND HERE!" I could recognize that voice as little Leo's.

My head shot up to look at the door and sure enough, my very famous Formula 1 driver boyfriend was there with a bag full of school supplies and gift bags filled with goodies for the kids.

"Kids, I've got presents!!" Lando shouted which caused a little sea of 5-6 year olds kids ran over him making little grabby hands.

Once all the kids got their little baggy of toys, Lando talking to Leo's dad and I answered more questions, the classroom started to empty as Meet The Teacher time ended. The room fell in a comfortable silence as I started to clean up and organize all the supplies I was gifted today.

"Have you ever thought of having a kid or two?" Lando asked, my body tensed at the question

"I dunno, I haven't thought about it. Have you?" I asked as I looked him in the eyes.

"Everyday since we started dating."

Carlos Sainz: School Counselor

"Listen Jess, I can't keep getting you out of trouble. You have to stop getting attitudes with teachers over a small issue." I said with a sigh as I had to deal with a troubled 14 year old freshman for the 4th time this week and it only being Tuesday.

"It's not my fault Ms. Jones was being a bitch to me." Jess said as she shrugged and slouched back in the seat she was in.

"Jess! You can't go around calling your teacher a bitch!" I scolded

"I will if they're being bitches!" Jess shouted

The ring of my school phone is what prevented me from further scolding the student sat in front of me

"Ms L/N's office" I started as I listened to the person on the other line "Okay, tell him to sit at the door of my office while I finish up with this student I have now. Okay, thank you. Bye bye" I hung up the phone before turning my attention back to Jess.

"Do you have another student?" she questioned

"I have another meeting, yes, but you're my top priority right now." I said as I readjusted my position in my chair

"To be honest, I cause these problems because I need someone to talk to and I feel most comfortable with you." Jess admitted as she looked down at her lap

"Jess," I started sympathetically "How about this, once a week we will have a 20 minute meeting to talk about anything and everything you want?" I compromised, which got a nod from her.

I watched as Jess left my office, I attempted to clean my desk a little before bringing my other meeting in before hearing Jess' voice

"Woah, you're hot. Are you a teacher?" before I could questioned who she's talking to I heard a thick Spanish accent answer her question

"No, I just have a meeting with Y/N." Disbelief spread across my face as I recognized the voice. There was no way that voice belonged to who I thought it did to.

I quickly ran outside my office where I was met with the most beautiful man on planet earth and who I was proud to call my boyfriend.

"CARLOS?!" I shouted as I jumped in his arms before planting a kiss to his lips

"Sorry for calling your boyfriend hot Ms. L/N" Jess said before she walked away

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" I asked as he put me down but not breaking the hug

"We have the week off before the Miami Grand Prix so I wanted to surprise you." Carlos whispered as he kissed my temple

"Well, consider me surprised" I mumbled against his lips before littering his face in kisses.

Lewis Hamilton: Peds surgeon

I’m currently on hour 8 of my 12 hour hospital shift and I’ve never been more exhausted in my life. I’ve performed 2 surgeries today and I still have one more lined up, now don’t get me wrong, I love my job and everything that comes with it. The ups, the downs, all of it.

I’ve finally finished up a post-op check up with one of my patients before hearing my stomach growl, I sent one of my trusted nurse friends to do the post op check up on the other patient while I grabbed a quick bite before my next surgery.

When I got to the cafeteria, I got a sandwich and sat down with another one of my friends while I scarfed my food down.

“So what’d you do today?” My trauma surgeon friend, Nalani asked as she took a bite of the sandwich she got

“I had to fix a bowel in one kid and another one swallowed a whole bunch of magnetic balls so I had to remove those. One balls tried to stick to the other and pierced an intestine so I had to fix that up. What about you?” I asked a I took another big bite of my food

“Oh well two people came in impaled in the chests with a long rod. Had to separate them, they both survived. It was a real miracle of God because when the images were taken, it looked like neither one of them were gonna survive.”

-

I’d been prepping for my last surgery of the day before I finally get to clock out and not worry about coming back for the next 4 days.

I walked into the OR getting suited up before noticing a figure in the amphitheater which caused me to look out of pure curiosity. Looking up I was locking eyes with the most handsomest man Ive ever seen in my whole life, who just so happened to be my fiancé.

“What is Lewis doing here?” I questioned the surgical intern

“He said he really missed you. The chief of surgery gave him clearance to be there, I think he promised to autograph a whole bunch of things for him and his kids?”

“That sounds like something Lewis would agree to” I giggled as I started to walk to the head of the table before hearing over the intercom

“Good luck with this surgery darling, I love you.”

“I love you too” was all I whispered before starting my last surgery of the day.

Daniel: Summer Camp Director

“Alright everybody, can I have your attention please?” I shouted as I glanced around the room filled with 10-15 year olds.

This is my 3rd summer being a Camp Counselor and I have to admit that I always have a blast here.

“Thank you. My name is Ms. L/N, and I’m the main counselor here at Camp Kikiwaka and I’m going to be going over everything that we’re going to be doing here over the course of the summer and you then I’ll open the floor to you guys so you can ask me questions, okay?”

I heard a sea of “Yes” “Okay” “Got it” before I continued. It only took about 45 minutes to go over the expectations at Camp Kikiwaka and the summer itinerary, “Okay, now does anyone have any questions?” A small hand shot up the second I finished my question

“I thought the big kid camp was the building?” a little girl said

“Yes it is, the camp section for older kids is right next door, why? Do you have a sibling over there?” I questioned as I looked at the little girl in front of me

“So who’s that man and why is he smiling at you?” okay, that was scary at all.

Before I could register who she was talking about I heard an older boy say “That’s Daniel Ricciardo!! What is Daniel Ricciardo doing here?!” which caused me to shoot around to see if he’s actually here.

“Hello guys! Don’t mind me, I’m just here to be your counselor’s assistant for the next week and a half” Daniel said as he walked over to me and engulfed me in a hug, swaying us side to side before placing a quick kiss on my temple.

“What are you doing here?” I whispered, looking up at him to stare in his beautiful eyes

“We have two weeks before the next race so I thought I’d volunteer my time here. I already got permission” Daniel said as he cupped my face.

Turning around I let the kids know the news “Okay guys so this is my boyfriend and your guys’ new camp counselor for a week and a half, Mr. Ricciardo! You guys can go up to him and ask him questions just as you are able to come to me!”

“You guys can call me Daniel, there’s no need for formality. Alrighty, any questions?” Daniel corrected me

“HOW CAN I BE YOUR ASSISTANT IN FORMULA 1????” The older boy shouted which caused Daniel to let out a loud laugh before he answered the question.

This was going to be a fun week and a half.

Pierre: Therapist

To say that today has been stressful would be an understatement. The lady who was in charge of booking my appointments scheduled who people at the same time and then proceeded to fill my schedule today so I couldn’t place the poor girl anywhere so I did the only logical thing anyone would do: I skipped lunch.

Well skipping lunch obviously wasn’t the best idea ever because just about 4 patients after lunchtime is when my headache started settling in, right in that spot behind my eyes. God I hated headaches so much but I despised them even more at work because how am I supposed to be helping my patients if I can’t even think straight.

To make matters worse than they already were, the headache went from just being pulsing behind my eyes to throbbing every time I moved my head in the slightest moment. Thank god this meeting ended quicker than intended and I had 15 minutes before my next patient was to walk in which gave me time to pop a few ibuprofen’s and let it settle in, in hopes that this would go away before the next one walks in.

I must’ve drifted off because two seconds after popping the ibuprofen’s there’s a knock at the door. I suppressed my groan before letting out a weak “Come in!”

I heard the door open but I just couldn’t bring myself to lift my head up

“Woah, you look like shit.” I heard a thick french accent say as the person let out a little giggle.

I knew who the voice belonged to, the owner was my longtime boyfriend who I haven’t seen in 3 weeks but right now, I couldn’t even be excited because I was in pain.

“Pierre please, I love you but right now I have such a massive headache. I feel like I’m going to pass out.” I mumbled into my hands

“Did you eat? I brought food.” He said as he lifted up the bag of french food that he claimed I “needed” to try.

I reluctantly lifted my head so I was able to take a bite or two out of the food. After a few bites I could slowly feel my headache going away, letting out a satisfied groan I continued to dig into my meal.

“You look like you haven’t eaten in days” Pierre chuckled as he watched me absolutely scarf down the food he placed in front of me.

“I feel like I haven’t” was all I managed to get out before I finished my food.

By the time my next appointment arrived, my headache was nothing but a slight throb behind my eyes which I was eternally grateful for.

I made a mental note to thank Pierre in different ways when I got home.

Logan: Speech Therapy

I’d been working with this kid to say ‘Water’ for the past 20 minutes and I’m nowhere with him.

I work with kids who have trouble talking and I get them to where they need to be at whatever age they are. Like if the kid is 4 years old and isn’t talking, I have to work a lot with the kids to make sure that I can get him to talk and be at a 4 year old’s level of communication.

Something about this 4 year old though, I just can’t get him to say ‘Water’ no matter how hard I try. I glanced up at the clock noting that it’s almost lunch time and I would have to end our session soon.

“L/N, your boyfriend is here and he brought food for all of us!” My coworker Destiny said

“Logan, can you help me? I can’t get him to say ‘Water’ and I’ve been trying for the last 20 minutes” I’m pleading with anyone at this point to at least help me get some type of progress done with him.

I watched as Logan got at level with the kid before attempting his own way “Hey buddy, can you say ‘water’?” after a second of silence he tried again “say ‘wah’.”

“Wah” my body tensed at the kid talking

“ good! now say ‘ter’.”

“Ter” I can’t believe he’s doing it

“Yes! ‘water’ !”

“AMERICA”

“WHAT THE FUCK?”

Lance: Nanny

“Baby why are you here?” I shot around to face my boyfriend

“When the fuck did you get here?” I asked in disbelief

“I missed you. How about we dip?” The nerve of this handsome man.

“Lance, I’m babysitting YOURE NIECE because YOU didn’t want to”

“I’ll pay my sister to take her kid back”

“Jesus”

Oscar: Librarian

“Excuse me Ms, do you have the Pete the Cat book? Me and my friend really want to read it. Please” I heard a little girl say.

I looked down at her before typing in my computer to see exactly where in the store it was at.

“Yes, you can follow me right this way and I’ll take you to them!” I said as I made my way over to where the books were placed. “They’re right here then. Just come up and let me know if you need anymore help!” I said as I watched her and her friends grab different books before going over to the bean bags to sit and read.

Back at my desk I was trying to place pre-orders for the new Ana Huang book coming out. I only got to the part where I could place the amount I wanted in my cart before I was being asked a question

“Do you guys have the King Of series? My girlfriend really wants to read them.” I looked up from my computer only to be faced with my Fiancé of 6 months

“Oscar?? What are you doing here?” I asked in disbelief

“I was in the area. Okay well I was a few cities away but it was only a hour drive” He said shrugging

“You’re so weird. The books are this way” I said as I grabbed a hold of his hands to guide him the way to my favorite Authors section.

Max: Nutritionist

“Okay Mom so you want to make sure that baby gets as much veggies in his system and more water, Santa said he only puts kids on the nice list if they listen to their mom and eat what she gives.” I said as I directed that last part to her 5 year old son who scrunched his face before hiding behind his mom.

“See Chase, I told you that Santa said that. He didn’t want to believe that Mommy has ties with Santa.” She smiled at the last part before picking her son up to take him out. “Thank you again, Chase is going to eat his veggies, right Chase?”

“No!” he yelled

“Do you want to be big and strong?” A thick Dutch accent could be heard

“Uh huh!!” Chase replied

“We’ll eat veggies. That’s the only way.” I turned to see my boyfriend Max in the doorway of my office.

“Otay!”

“Oh well that was one way.” The mom shrugged

“Have a good day!” I shouted as she left “I don’t know how you did that”

“Kids love me”

“oh that’s not-”

George: Sports Coach

“RUN THE FUCKING LAPS NOW!!!” I screamed at the kids in front of me

To the outside world I would seem crazy for yelling at a bunch of kids like this but in reality, I’m coaching my brother and his bastard friends soccer team this season and they bet me $20 I wouldn’t say that in front of their parents, so that was a quick $20 I put in my pocket.

“CURSING AT KIDS NOW BABE?” My boyfriend George asked.

He was helping me coach them this year and he’s a really do-by-the-book type of guy and he really disapproved of me cursing at the kids.

“Sorry baby, they deserve it. They said that you’re too bad to be in F1” I said shrugging as I made up that lie

“RUN 2 FUCKING MILES NOW!!”

taglist:

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[pomeloandtv]

She took off her sunglasses and thought.

It was nice to be able to think again. For a change.

How on earth could she ever have believed it was not something that he had planned?

Everything else had been his idea, his project, his execution, why had she believed this wasn't?

Well, for a while thinking had been harder, it was easy to believe anything in that state, but even so …

But that had only been a year. She'd still been smart for a long time before that.

It had started five years ago.

Maybe it had started earlier?

But her memory of it started five years ago.

A growing pain over six months

First unease, something wrong

"Hi Julia!"

Growing to an inner, unexpressed cringe, that's not me

"Happy birthday Julia"

Then wanting to snap at people whenever it happened

"Julia, can you …."

Thinking "That's not my name!" but biting her tongue every single time.

Having to introduce herself had been the worst

"Hi, I'm … Julia" [ugh]

Taking 5 minutes to fill out a form when meeting a surgeon for a consultation. Not wanting to write anything down, but knowing there was nothing else to write down

FIRST NAME: …

But who am I then? If that is not me, who is me?

And then one morning after about six months she had woken up and her name, her real name, her true name was bright and golden in her mind. Everything was so obvious.

And a middle name too? She had a middle name on her birth certificate, but it had never been part of her identity. She could go years without thinking about it.

But now she absolutely had a middle name

Elation. Her name revealed to her.

It was beautiful.

And it was her.

But, she didn't tell anyone. She suffered for another three months.

She engaged in occasional unknown petty acts of rebellion.

Going to the coffee shop when she knew no one was there, making her order, giving her name, "Coffee for …", walking out with her trophy, sometimes her name hidden, pointing towards her, sometimes pointing to the world, depending on how brave she felt.

Baristas with bad writing were her favourite. No need to hide the name.

One morning, she snapped in front of her husband

"Julia, we'll start the …"

"NO!"

He said nothing, waiting

Oh my God, was she really about to tell someone?

"What's wrong"

All the words came out at once

"Thatsnotmyname ImeanIknowitismyname butIhateit Idontwantit itsnotmyrealname pleasedontcallmethat Icanttakeitanymore itisjusttoomuch everyonecallsmethatanditismakingmeinsane ItriedbutIcantlivelikethisanymore"

"Ok, I'll call you anything you want"

Oh God, here it came, she paused too long

"Is there another name you'd prefer?"

"My name is Sweetie, with an i and an e at the end"

And the weight was lifted, and she was now Sweetie to him, and a few weeks later she even told him her middle name.

And he had loved her new name, and delighted in using it

And things at home had been wonderful

But it was still only him who knew

The world did not and she hated the world for it and she was at least a little bit sad in it all the time

And he told her she would have to tell people her true name.

And she had.

And though some people accepted it, a lot of people had hated it.

She understood that it was … a non-standard name, one which carried societal meaning. But that was society's fault, not hers.

One of her friends refused. They weren't friends anymore.

Others were slow to adapt, but they did.

Her parents were a bigger problem. She wasn't prepared to cut them off over this, yet, but she did reduce contact.

Eventually they came around.

They still didn't understand.

But they understood enough to know that it wasn't important whether or not they understood.

On her birthday they baked her a cake with her name in icing.

Her middle name wasn't included.

But that was OK.

She reserved its use for more formal settings. Like work. Friends and family could just call her Sweetie.

But her husband knew how much she loved the middle name too and would call her that and she loved hearing it from him.

"Sweetie Muffins" he would say to her in the morning, when he felt her stirring, and she would sigh happilly.

Sometimes just "Muffins" to be cute.

Things got better.

She looked at some pictures on her phone.

Here was dinner and champagne to celebrate her new legally-changed name.

Pictures of each of the days her driver's license or credit cards arrived.

Sweetie Muffins Baudin

Middle name included, her old middle name never having been.

She was finally herself, Sweetie to her friends, Sweetie Muffins to the wider more formal world.

Occassionally she met resistance to her name from strangers, but that was their problem. Not hers.

Then other big changes came

It got harder to think or to focus.

But she knew that was because of him.

And she knew he wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't what she really wanted.

She never remembered a hypnosis session, but over the years it had become clear to her that he brought her under nearly every day.

And then she had to leave her job.

Which was good. She used to love her job long ago but now she hated it.

But she hadn't told her job she wanted to leave, her job had told her she had to leave.

She kind of remembered the conversation in her boss's office.

She had been confused. She was always confused. But OK.

It was nice like this.

Everyone was so nice to her.

People smiled at her more, or told her not to worry, or that it was going to be OK.

People did things for her.

She could just be nice to people and no one expected anything of her.

Then her boobs got bigger, again

She remembered the pain and the recovery but not much about the decision.

Her husband had took her to a doctor where she had smiled and pretended to understand, but focusing on long sentences was hard

How had he done that to her? So delicious.

And the doctor had smiled at her and she had smiled back. And said "yes", or "I need to think about that" but not much else.

Later, (how much time had passed?) she was in surgery.

And then pain and weight for a while and then bigger boobs.

She liked them a lot.

Everybody else seemed to.

Some of her friends would squeeze them for luck, and she would giggle, and her friends would pat her head.

And there were other changes.

Like her first boob job, he'd already made changes to her face, before, when thinking was easy.

But now he made more.

She looked at some old pictures.

She had always thought of herself as beautiful before, before she met him even.

But now ….

And then one day her husband had told her she would be getting a tattoo on her ass.

He'd picked her other tattoos of course, just as he had when she had been smarter.

She had tried to think of something to say in reply. She pursed her lips.

"What will this tattoo be of Daddy?"

"Your name"

"My name?"

"Sweetie Muffins"

"I love my name!"

He had laughed warmly. "It's a great name"

"I really love my name!"

"Well, if you ever forget it, and its possible with that silly head of yours, you can just look at your ass to remember it"

"Ok?" she had smiled back, replaying what he had said. He had said a lot. A knot appearing on her forehead. "Oh! I get it!"

She had her intelligence back now

Four months ago he'd stopped performing whatever conditioning he had been doing that made it hard to focus.

She'd been back to herself for a few weeks now, adjusting.

She said she'd like to be turned back, made stupid again, he had promised he would.

But for now, he wanted to see the light of understanding in her eyes.

"And there is a different pleasure you will get in comprehending. So we can have fun with that too"

Later; "maybe I'll just make you dumb for other people", he had mused

"If you want, but it was nice to be dumb for you too"

She came inside from the patio and looked at herself in the mirror.

So gorgeous

He had told her yesterday he'd be pumping her lips back up.

"Back up", she had asked? "They were bigger?"

"They were a lot bigger last year, they've come down since. Look at your old Instagram pics"

Those were big

Seeing made her remember

They had been huge in her field of vision.

Her lips were still big, well beyond her natural size, still visible in her field of vision.

But not like those old ones.

"I'm remembering something, uh, did I have trouble talking or something? I seem to remember … a feeling … it was difficult …"

"We had a bit of botox placed behind the middle of your top lip. It made it harder for you to form the shapes needed to pronounce certain sounds. You were adorable"

"I remember, … uh, can we do it again? I mean, I'd like to experience it now"

He had winked.

"Will you do that again, I mean, if you make me stupid again will you make changes to me I don't understand?"

"That's a guarantee. I'll make some temporary changes that go away like those lips. But I'll make permanent changes too like your tits"

"uhhhh, yes please, whatever you want"

She took off her dress and looked at her ass in the mirror. At her tattoo.

She got a second hand-held mirror so she could see what other people saw. Without mirror writing.

Sweetie Muffins

It was her name.

Nothing felt more real to her than that.

She was Sweetie Muffins

Funny how a middle name had never mattered before. Now it was just one grade below being the second part of a double-barralled first name.

She had always been Sweetie Muffins, even when she had been Julia Falkner, or Julia Grace Falkner according to her birth cert.

She would always be Sweetie Muffins.

She didn't want to be anything else.

She loved the tattoo.

It was cute and sweet. Like her.

Visible in a bikini, or in the gym changing room.

He had installed a small gym at home, but she wasn't allowed use it.

She had asked why, now that her smarts were back, it had occurred to her that it was weird that she went to the gym.

"I like that you have to work out around people in your sports bra and booty shorts"

"Besides, you need things to do all day, and going to the gym can be one of them"

That was true. She'd been getting bored as her intelligence came back. What had she done all day before with no work to go to?

Clothes shopping certainly. She hadn't asked him about it yet, but she hadn't found any of her old clothes.

Everything she had now was more colourful, attention-attracting.

And the only more-plainly-coloured items were all tighter, shorter, lower-cut.

She'd taken to wearing these items - like the black cocktail dress she'd just taken off - just to not feel like an explosion in a paint factory

She looked from the dress on the floor back to her tattoo

Sweetie Muffins, the tattoo said to her

"That's you", it said to her

"That's me", she said to herself

"I'm Sweetie Muffins"

The name was intrinsic to her

Everyone should know who I am.

All this was true for her

All this would always be true for her

Even now having learned the truth.

She had never seen herself under before.

But he had shown her a video of the first hypnosis session where he had began the work of changing her name.

Making her feel disgust at Julia

Implanting her need for Sweetie Muffins.

And she knew it never would have taken, her mind would have rejected it, had she not wanted it

She was Sweetie Baudin

Sweetie Muffins Baudin for more formal occasions.