#and it is so endlessly frustrating to see this framed as us being assholes when we're simply tired of putting up with this

[theghostofashton]

.

[kinktae]

beyond the story: bitchin’

Hi friends! I hope you are all staying safe and healthy during these tough times! I really wanted to put something out there as a thank you to just how much support Bitchin’ got. You guys really are incredible. So, although this story has come to an end, I wanted to properly close the Bitchin’ chapter by giving you all a behind the scenes look at Bitchin’ and everything that went into writing it. This includes hidden easter eggs, backstories, alternative plot-lines, and a short drabble of the Bitchin’ cast 10 years after the story’s end.

Without further ado, please enjoy and thank you again for all your love. You have all of mine.

CHAPTER ONE – PARTNERS

Ah, yes, the start of this whole wild ride. I’ve always loved the whole nerd/popular person trope in fanfics, so it was only a matter of time before I tried my hand at it too. One thing I was adamant about was not making this a “popular person turns nerd hot/confident/better” fic as its kind of one of my least favorite cliches. With that in mind, and knowing that I was going to allude to TATBILB’s contract, I decided that I wanted Y/N to gain as much from the deal as Jungkook did. No blackmail, no just agreeing for the hell of it – Y/N was going to further herself and her dreams given the opportunity.

The beginning of the chapter is where the two are most separated and dissimilar throughout the whole story. It wasn’t that they were fundamentally different, it was that they approached life differently. Y/N was frustrated at how superficial Jungkook seemed, because she believes there is much more to life than just kicking your feet up and cracking jokes.

On the other hand, Jungkook didn’t understand why Y/N was so tense and on guard. To him, life was meant to enjoy and not take so seriously. Which makes sense, given that he grew up with minimal rules and minimal worries (bare minimum partners wassup !) 

“So, do we have a deal? Partners?” There was mischievous timber to his words, the kind that made you feel as if this would all later come back to bite you in the ass.

Pushing that pestering thought away, you took his hand into yours, holding his eyes as you gave it a firm shake.

“Partners.”

God, this bit. I knew from the minute I wrote it that I was writing the ending of bitchin’ along with it. I knew this was exactly how I was going to end this story, bc the word partners has multiple means right? In chapter 1, this meant business partners, but in the final chapter… it means life partners. Idk, I’m just still really happy with this writing decision :D

CHAPTER TWO – THE CONTRACT

Dearest Yara. We meet her in chapter two don’t we? Yara is completely based off of my irl best friend Yara who is a writer and who helped me A LOT with this story. She was my biggest supporter throughout figuring out this crazy plot. It was initially only about seven parts, but with her help I managed to bump it up to 10! Everybody say thank you Yaraaaa.

You were angry, that much was evident to her. Yara was sat in your shared dorm’s living room, a thick blanket engulfing her small frame. You briefly glanced towards the TV, it was tuned into MTV, the familiar music video of Every Breath You Take by The Police playing, before directing your glare back onto the copper-haired girl.

The song reference is a direct allusion to writer Yara’s fic, which is one of my favorite fics by her. She was actively writing it around the start of our friendship so it only felt right to pay respects to her. The introduction of her character felt necessary imo bc I wanted to make sure Y/N had a life outside Jungkook. Plus, I got to use the scenes between the two girls as a way to reference the music and culture scene. Yara is especially a fan of the powerful women in the music industry at the time, i.e., Madonna, Annie Lennox, Cyndi Laupner, etc.) Yara is a raging feminist and believer in sexual freedom and libery for women, we do in fact have to stan.

“How old do you think your sister is?”

“Hey, don’t sass me. For your information, Lyanna still has all her Care Bear tapes. She threw a hissy fit when my mom tried to give them away last Christmas.” Yara recalled.

Lyanna is one of writer Yara’s past pseudonyms. She always used to joke about how whenever she read it, it was confusing because there was Y/N, Yara and Lyanna, which were technically all her lolol.

FUNNY STORY ABOUT THE CONTRACT I INSERTED INTO THIS PICTURE… Twitter found it and made it into somewhat of a meme because no one knew it came from a fic rip. I was actually rly embarrassed and even wrote some posts about how much twitter scared me on my blog LMAO. but THEN weirdly enough, I actually stumbled upon a small community on twitter who actually found my fic and would TWEET ABOUT IT!!! LIKE REACTIONS TO EACH UPDATE!!! I wish I could go back in time and remember how giddy I was the first time I found a tweet about my fic. The fanfic community on twitter gave me a new love for the site (which I had previously had removed myself from because of its toxicity) and I have met so many wonderful people because of it. People even made themselves a little twitter group chat to talk about my fics, and now we are all friends! I miss posting a chapter of bitchin’ and refreshing my twitter feed as all my mutuals would post memes and live tweet their reactions. God that made me so fucking happy.

CHAPTER THREE – THE ROLLERSKATING DATE

I love the bickering in this chapter, because unlike the bickering in the first chapter, it’s actually less hostile and more playful. Y/N is slowly letting her guard down to the very persistently charming Jungkook.

“Woah. Family of six, huh? So you have siblings then.” He noted.

“Yep. Three.”

“Tell me about them.”

Looking up from where you were slipping on your second skate, you met Jungkook’s eyes, surprised to see genuine interest in them.

I actually originally had Y/N brush him off here. I was going to wait until the drunk party scene for Y/N to open up about her family and relationship with her sisters. But then I kind of thought to myself… Why? Y/N made peace with it and doesn’t hold onto those insecurities anymore. And objectively, Jungkook hasn’t proven himself to be a bad person so… I let Y/N open herself up to him.

“Then there’s the twins, Rosa and Lia.”

“Hold on. Twins? Wait… did they go to our high school?” Jungkook asked, his interest in this conversation doubled.

“Yep. They were two grades above us.” You confirmed.

“Oh shit, yeah, I remember your sisters, they were mad hot.” Jungkook let out a low whistle, before stiffening, flashing you an apologetic look. “Uh, in a totally non-meathead way.”

You offered the scared-looking boy a small smile, shaking your head.

Some of y’all notice but, Rosa and Lia are a blatant homage to my name: Roselia. ACTUALLY some form of my name can be found in every one of the rewind series fics, including upcoming ones. I’ll give a cookie to whoever can find every single mention hehe.

“I told you it was dumb.” You laughed nervously.

It wasn’t that you cared much about what Jungkook thought but you had a feeling a guy like him, who was popular and carefree, wouldn’t be able to sympathize in the way you would like him to.

“No, I’m just… surprised, that’s all.”

Jungkook certainly was surprised. You had built up quite the impression on him from the very moment you two met. It was hard to imagine that the girl who was so unapologetically herself was ever unsure or insecure.

Somehow, the idea tugged at his heart, as if he understood you more if only just a little.

From the get go, Jungkook was extremely drawn to just how confident and secure Y/N was in herself. I knew I wanted Y/N to be unapologetically sure of herself and in her abilities. Something I didn’t want, however, was for frat boy!jungkook’s only personality traits to be liking sex and being a cocky bastard (although I am a big consumer of that trope heh). Jungkook is actually canonly incredibly insecure. He lacks a real sense of self, which is why he is so desperate for Kiri back. His relationship with Kiri at that time was a big part of what he thought was himself. He has somewhat of low self esteem tbh which is why he’ll go back to a woman who treated him unfairly. That’s why he comes off the way he does in the first chapter and why Y/N thinks he has a big ego... he’s overcompensating. He finds it so endlessly fascinating that Y/N, in all her confident glory, was actually once super insecure. He admires her all the more once she opens up about her past.

“Oh, Rosa is an intern for our hometown’s newspaper but between you and me those assholes don’t even let her write. She does coffee and burger runs for men in charge. And Lia sells ice cream at the mall.”

“What about your brother?” Jungkook asked.

“He’s training to be a cop just like my dad.”

“And your mom?”

“She works at a convenience store.”

All their careers resemble people in the latest Stranger Things season (Nancy, Steve, Hopper, and Joyce). Fun Cameo there.

“What’s wrong?” You wondered, following his eyes.

“October 16th, 1985. 6:48PM.”

“Yes. That’s today’s date and time. What about it?” You pressed, growing confused.

“Remember it.” He warned.

“Why?”

“It’s when I fell in love with you.”

This iconic line I actually got from the real Jeon Jungkook himself. While Jungkook wasn’t actually in love with Y/N here, it certainly was a cute way for him to express his admiration for her.

OH HERE’S A FUN FACT: the hickey scene at the end of this chapter where JK and Y/N kiss for the first time was actually supposed to be Yara giving Y/N the hickey like the best friend she is. Ultimately I went with JK giving it for... smut purposes... ≖‿≖ 

CHAPTER FOUR – THE HALLOWEEN PARTY

The decision for Y/N to be Freddie Krueger came from me planning to be him for Halloween. And I was! JK as Glen Lantz just followed naturally. I’ve seen some great edits of him as the character. Truly chef’s kiss.

I really liked that Jungkook came over to the girl’s dorm to get ready. I didn’t want a scene where Y/N was thrown into a situation she was uncomfortable with which is how much Nerd At A Party Scene go so made sure Jungkook stayed by her side throughout the part, going out of his way to introducing her to the people he cared about.

Tae’s character came in when I realized I needed a way to actually put Y/N’s event in motion. He was the missing link and BOY did you guys eat his character right up huh. Love that for me.

Another thing, the confrontation with Kiri was so hard to write guys, I reeaaaally struggle with girl conflict. GIRLS SHOULD SUPPORT GIRLS. However, not everyone gets along in real life so I went with Kiri being more along the lines of petty rather than outwardly a cunt to Y/N. Realistically, Kiri is popular and well liked among the greek life so being unkind to someone she hardly knows wouldn’t make sense. There’s definitely tension between these two but I tried my best to steer away from the typical cat fight/revenge porn/public humiliation trope most movies seem to follow.

CHAPTER FIVE – THE FIRST TIME

Introduction to Erik!!!! It was really important to me that Y/N had a life before Jungkook. That's why I wrote in Y/N having a fiancé. She’s not opposed to love, she just has reshifted her focus. She knows what she wants and is choosing to focus on that, which why when she realizes she’s falling for Kookie she’s so hesitant to admit it because she’s fallen down that road before. Even though Jungkook treats her with respect and acknowledges the parts of her she’s most proud of, she just isn’t willing to possibly give up her passions for love. Which is why she doesn’t immediately confess to him, even once she’s sure she loves him.

“I’m serious, nerd. You’re like… um… the sun!” Jungkook marveled, eyes growing full as the realization dawned on him.

“The sun?” You laughed.

“Yeah, like… you’re this bright, beautiful thing that seems like it’s here in front of me but is really light-years away.”

Jungkook was drunk, and although you were sure he was making more sense in his head, you couldn’t help but feel your face grow hot, unsure of how to react to his drunk analogy.

“You’re the sun, Y/N. You make the world turn for you. Never orbit for anyone else.”

And suddenly, you were kissing him, for no other reason other than you wanted to and that it felt like the right thing to do.

No real commentary here. Just love this bit. It’s probably my favorite interaction between them two ‧⁺◟( ᵒ̴̶̷̥́ ·̫ ᵒ̴̶̷̣̥̀ ) 

“Also… She’s, uh, currently dating Eunwoo.” You told Yara.

Your best friend blinked, silence falling over her.

“Yara?”

“Good for her.” She perked up almost forcibly. “Let her put up with his annoying ass.”

Yara could see the way your expression had turned dubious as if you didn’t believe her nonchalant act.

Yara turned up her nose defensively, “What?”

Ugh yes, some character development from Yara.... the flavor ! Yara (much like Y/N and JK) also struggles with love. She has a real fear of commitment and if far more comfortable with casual sex than relationships. She did develop actual feelings for Eunwoo, she just wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment so she cut him off. Fleed the scene if you will. Typical gemini smh my head.

"I don’t think the contract mentioned orgasms.” Jungkook smirked as you released his thumb.

“I say we let it slide.” You shrugged, leaning into him casually.

“You think?”

“Totally. Think of it as… a bonding activity.” You joked, resting your chin on his shoulder, peering up through your lashes.

“Damn, we’re really committed to this fake dating thing, huh.”

You laughed in the way that you hated, but Jungkook loved; it was loud and abrupt, but it genuine, and it was you.

“What can I say, I’m a method actor.” You sighed dramatically, causing Jungkook to grin before pressing a kiss to your nose, simply because he liked the way it always seemed to make you smile.

GOD THEY’RE SO WHIPPED FOR EACH OTHER ITS DISGUSTING!!!!!! I’m really happy I decided not to make sleeping together a big deal and I got a lot of feedback from you guys agreeing! I had a lot of fun with these two’s sex scenes knowing they could do it whenever they wanted.

CHAPTER SIX – THE STEM EVENT

I started the scene with smut BUT I wanted to point out that much of their time spent together is at Y/N dorm, Jungkook either napping, hanging out or doing work as Y/N would study like she always did. I liked the idea that Jungkook would get bored and would want attention from Y/N because she was so focused. Idk, I just wanted to write a love story about two people spending time together and figuring out how they fit in each other’s lives as opposed to some dramatic I mEeT HiM aNd mY LiFe bEcAmE cRaZy. There’s nothing wrong with that plot line, I just didn’t want that for these two dorks. I wanted Y/N to interact with JK’s scene and crowd but not give up her own which is why most days JK and her just lounged around in her dorm studying.

Also, I don’t know how the teacher/student roleplay made it into the smut, it just did, no further questions (ʃ⌣́_⌣́ƪ).

Then the event scene.

“You’re whipped, dude! Seriously.”

Jungkook felt his face go red, “Shut up, no, I’m not.”

“Hey, I’m not judging. I get it. That’s your girl.” Taehyung shrugged. Jungkook placed a hand on the fold up table in front of him, staring down at the information pamphlet you had worked so hard on.

“She’s just… so fucking driven and passionate about everything she does. Sometimes I look at her, and I’m just like… holy shit, what am I doing with a girl like her? I feel like she’s totally out of my league and being with me is holding her back but— I dunno, man. I just… really like her.” Jungkook revealed, voice growing small.

An unexpected wave of tenderness fell over the two boys, Taehyung throwing an arm over his little brother’s shoulder.

“I’m happy for you, bro.”

Jungkook didn’t know it just yet but dude was talking from the heart and, is in fact, totally whipped :’c

I loved the confrontation scene between the boys and Eunwoo because the boys standing up for Yara really did make everyone feel like a friend group, not just some character who happen to exist at the same time. It wasn’t just Y/N and Yara and one side and the boys on the other. They would all become friends, which is ideal to me. A boyfriend who likes your best friend and considers her a friend so you can all hang out??? Yes please.

Initially, irl Yara and I had noooo clue if Yara would end up with Eunwoo or not. That was actually the original goal actually. But after this chapter four, you guys made it ABUNDANTLY clear that you guys wanted to see Taeyara, despite the two never even meeting! Honestly, it wasn’t until this chapter was written that we decided for sure that Eunwoo was out of the picture for Yara. Part of me really wanted to keep Yara single, but irl Yara insisted on dick and frankly, she’s right. Bitchin’ Yara deserved a shot at love. She definitely has her own story outside of Bitchin’ and will experience a lot of growth in the future.

“God, I know. I do not miss that temper of his.” She chuckled, her words piquing your interest.

“Temper?”

“Oh, yeah. Have you seriously not experienced it yet? He’s got some gnarly anger issues. Not to mention all the lying…” Kiri paused suddenly, straightening up as she flashed you an apologetic look. “Yikes, I’m sorry. I totally should not be telling you this. I’m not trying to be that gross girl that shit talks her ex to his current girlfriend.”

Miss Kiri, Miss Kiri. She really acted up this chapter didn’t she. There was a lot of discussion about whether or not those things she said about Jungkook were true. Which was exactly what I wanted hehe. We come to find out that Kiri had definitely stretched the truth. She really is good at manipulation and understanding how people think and it’s why she is in the role that she is in. Messy queen.

CHAPTER SEVEN – THE ROOFTOP DATE

This entire chapter was inspired by High School Musical with Troy and Gabriella’s rooftop garden scenes. This was my shortest chapter and honestly, probably not my strongest. I definitely went into writing this with zero concept of what I actually wanted to happen. Usually when I write my chapters I have a 4k long outline of it beforehand that I go off of. Not this one though. I really just winged it and I tried my best to write a chapter that really showed off (dialogue wise) just how this couple bounces off each other. I do really like some of the banter they have in this chapter.

You had taken note a little wooden popsicle stick poking up from the soil of the yellow flowers. Acacias, they were marked. Pulling your knees up to your chest, you considered his words.

Yellow acacias stands the value of true friendship and can indicate a secret love! I thought that was very appropriate given these dummies' relationship.

“So, you probably know why I brought you here.”

You nodded.

“You’re proposing, right?”

“Yeah, I– oh, shut up.” He laughed, the serious mood shattering as you joined him.

Even though I knew they were going to have a semi serious talk, what with Y/N asking about what Kiri had told her, these two dufuses realistically are just too comfortable with each other to stay serious for too long.

“Hey, I said that out of frustration, I didn’t really mean it. I’m sure she’ll come crawling back soon.” You attempted to comfort him, hoping to sound sincere.

“Even if that’s true, I’m not entirely sure I want that anymore.”

“What?” You blinked. Jungkook shrugged.

“What about us?” He met your eyes, causing your breath to hitch.

“What about us?”

Jungkook stared at you for a moment, noting the way the timber in your voice had become higher pitched as if panicked.

MORE FUN FACTS LMFAO: I typically do this thing with unplanned chapters where I just go for it and write and usually it works out. But when I wrote this down I remember stopping and being like ??? WHY DID I JUST WRITE THAT ??? I don’t like deleting my writing so I had a serious think to myself about whether this was going to be the moment Jungkook confessed or not.

Canonly, I decided that Jungkook did in fact mean ‘us’ in a romantic sense, but because of the way you perceivably panicked at that possible meaning, he decided against taking the conversation in that direction, instead speaking about ‘us’ in a platonic sense. Poor kookie :(

“Stop. Listen to me, Jungkook, you’re a fucking great guy, okay? You’re charismatic and funny and care about your friends… sure, you almost ruined my event, but it was mostly to defend my best friend when Eunwoo got too pushy, right? You’re a good guy, meathead. I know I joke about your ego, but I really believe you’re capable of more than you think you are. Seriously, Kiri is so lucky to be the object of your affection.”

Jungkook watched the way the sun’s orange light kissed your face, a bittersweet feeling growing in his chest as he contemplated the object of his affection. Just a couple of months ago, he would have had no doubt about who held his heart, but as you held his stare, he found himself unsure and yet, entirely sure all the same.

“Jungkook? You okay?” You frowned, catching in the sadness in his eyes.

“Hm? Yeah, yeah. I just… realized something.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“…It doesn’t matter.” He smiled, the gesture hardly reaching his eyes.

It’s in this moment that Jungkook decides that there is no way you hold the same affection towards him that he does to you. He mistakes your words of comfort as you pushing him away. You are so kind and encouraging and Jungkook loves you so much that hearing you insist about him ending back up with Kiri hurts him so bad.

But you are still unsure about your feelings and genuinely believe that's still what Jungkook wants. You’re just being a supportive friend!! :( It isn’t until the end of this chapter when Y/N has her talk with Yara that she realizes, oh man, she’s in deep.

CHAPTER EIGHT – THE MISTAKE

BLAH. This chapter is so BLAH, you know? Having to write this chapter was SO HARD. I texted irl Yara complaining about how much I hated having to put my characters through this and that I wanted to just end the story on chapter 7 and keep them happy forever. BUT ALAS! I had planned for this to happen from the start.

You tasted like the mint of your favorite brand of toothpaste. He imagined if he had caught you any later then the mint would have been accompanied by the taste of coffee, knowing the way you rarely started a day without a cup.

God, he had missed the taste of you.

What you guys didn’t see is Jungkook spending the night with Kiri, and immediately kicking her out, freaking out as the weight of guilt washed over him. He knew he had done nothing wrong, that you weren’t his real girlfriend, and that getting back together with Kiri was exactly what he had signed up for. It was what he should’ve wanted. But it wasn't… because you were what he wanted. And that was exactly what he was going to tell you as he marched over to your apartment.

But he panicked. His mind already decided that your answer to him would be no– that you didn’t feel the same. So he kissed you. He had you in the only way he was allowed to. He was selfish and impulsive and so incredibly scared that he ended up hurting the person he loved the most.

Initially though, I had Jungkook get back together with Kiri, not that he slept with her right before sleeping with Y/N. But I decided TEEHEE let me just make everything erupt into flames. However, I didn’t realize just how angry with Jungkook you guys would get. I remember thinking DAMMIT WAS THAT TOO SCANDALOUS?? I knew I was going to have to work hard for Jungkook to redeem himself to my readers.

“She wants to get back together.” Jungkook swallowed dryly, eyes wavering between yours as if to gauge your reaction.

“…Oh.”

You shook your head.

“I mean, wow! That’s… That’s great!” You smiled, something tearing apart inside you as the words left your lips.

“Y/N–”

“Seriously! This means it worked, right? This is exactly what you wanted to happen.” You enthused, turning your head so that he couldn’t see the way your eyes had welled up.

Jungkook’s heart was pounding in his ears, fighting the urge to wrap his arms around you.

“Yeah… yeah, no, you’re right. We did it.” He replied monotonously.

GOD THIS PART IS SO UNBELIEVABLY FRUSTRATING! JUST ADMIT YOU LOVE EACH OTHER YOU MORONS! This entire situation is so convoluted because there's so much information missing and not being expressed, I seriously want to ring my own neck rereading this bit.

“Are you mad?” He called out cautiously, a heavy feeling falling onto his chest.

“Why would I be mad?” You quipped back sharply, causing Jungkook to flinch. He shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

“I just thought… I mean we’ve been fooling around a lot lately, so I didn’t know if—”

“If what? I had feelings for you?” You scoffed. “Please, as if I’d ever fall for you.”

And there it was— everything Jungkook already knew but had been so afraid to hear. Of course, you didn’t feel for him what he felt for you. How could he have expected anything different?

IDIOTS!!! THEY'RE BOTH IDIOTS!!! I don't know how y'all put up with this for so long. Forgive me.

CHAPTER NINE – THE BREAK

Okay I actually love this chapter. And for many reasons. Let me break down the three scenes for you guys.

Scene one: Kiri confrontation

Kiri is definitely an opposing antagonist. She is constantly working against Y/N because of their interests directly conflicting. BUT. I would argue that the biggest antagonist to this story is the inner ones – Y/N and Jungkook's lack of ability to admit their feelings constantly holding them both back from their happy ending. That being said, a confrontation scene between Y/N and Kiri was MUCH needed. While I suppose I can understand why Kiri doesn't like Y/N, that doesn't change the fact that she has been disrespectful and catty. So miss Y/N had to put Miss Kiri in her place (•̀ᴗ•́)

Scene two: Yara and Tae at the library

Fanservice. That is all. LMFAOOO y'all reallllyyy wanted it to happen and who am I to deny my people what they want. It was really fun getting to explore my side characters and develop them through interactions outside the two main characters. IRL Yara also mentioned giving bitchin’ Yara and Tae their own chapter as a joke and I was like LOL BET. I fully was going to but then I got the idea for the next scene and was like ahh ok maybe not the whole chapter.

Scene three: Meeting with Erik

So. This was a SUPER last minute decision. Like, it wasn’t until I was writing this chapter that I planned on Erik making an appearance. I saw a tweet with someone saying their bitchin theories and they mentioned Erik appearing out of nowhere and I was like,,, HOLD ON!!!! That could be kind of spicy ≖‿≖ 

I knew for a fact JK was NOT going to be forgiven in this chapter; I needed a way to lay the situation out between the two dorks without trying to seem like I was trying to sway my audience in a way that didn't make sense to the story. Y/N was rightfully angry. But she wasn't only angry about the timing of the sex. She was angry that Jungkook went back to Kiri at all and there was no way she was going to admit that. So who better to lay it all out than calculated, unbiased third party Erik. He deserved some character development after all.

I also liked the idea that Y/N had, in theory, “romantic options.” Losing Jungkook didn’t mean the end of her life. Having my female lead stand on her own was very important to me.

CHAPTER TEN – THE END

RIGHT OF THE BAT I needed Jungkook to suffer. So that whole scene where he tries to interact with his old group only for his presence to make everything awkward MMMM yes, sweet revenge on my part.

You were surprised. His hair was no longer shaggy and long like you remembered it. Instead, it had been freshly cut, looking healthy and neatly styled for the first time since you met Jungkook.

THE WAY SO MANY PEOPLE COMMENTED ON THIS LINE “but Y/N liked it long?!?”  IS SO FUNNNYyyyy. So let me clarify a thing. Jungkook had always wanted to cut his hair right. The only reason he didn’t was because Y/N told him not to. With Y/N no longer in the picture to convince him out of it, he cut his hair. That’s really all there is to it skfjsjf.

You know, I had written this part around the time I had just finished up the third ch believe it or not. And it was COMPLETELY different. I had it planned that Yara and Y/N ignored him throughout class and Yara had gone back after the bell rang to go verbally assault JK. And as the two hashed it out, only then was that when Jungkook would realize that he liked Y/N after Yara literally spelled it out for him.

“You like her, dumbass!” Was what I had written Yara saying. I really had written him in denial for ten chapters, I was a whole sociopath (╥﹏╥). But ultimately, I decided that Jungkook came to that conclusion on his own and the decision to apologize to Y/N would have been made over winter break.

“You said Kiri came over asking for you back, yet you still came over and slept with me the next day. Even though the two of you had sex the night before. Do you understand how that makes me feel?”

“I’m—”

“Like garbage!" You emphasized, the white paint of the door somehow irritating you further. "I felt like I was something you threw away and picked back up whenever you felt like getting your dick wet.”

Your chest was rising and falling rapidly, and you tried your hardest to not let your emotions get the best of you.

“Not to mention to everyone else, it looks like you cheated on me. Which makes me look like a fucking idiot." You scoffed.

Jungkook said nothing in reply, which somehow made it easier to say all you should have said that day in your room.

“It just sucks to realize that someone you once cared about sees you as nothing more than a toy. It fucking sucks.”

Man :( writing this hurt my heart. I really, really, love bitchin!y/n and writing her hurting freaking stinks. But she had to speak her mind. She deserves the chance to get everything off her chest with the way Jungkook hurt her.

Your heart and mind were in constant paradox, torn between wanting him back and wanting him to know just how much he had hurt you. Your mind ultimately won the battle, of course, but as Jungkook stood just a few inches of drywood apart pouring his heart out, it was hard to say which major organ was responsible for your next words.

The creak of the door being pushed open sent Jungkook's eyes wide, revealing your hesitant form. You had your arms crossed over your chest as if to guard the contents inside of it.

You looked like an angel underneath the bathroom's blue fluorescent lights, beautiful and lovely, a stark contrast from your next crushing sentence.

“I slept with Erik.”

Hehe. Ofc my girl Y/N had to have a rebound!!! She knows that life goes on. However, as I wrote in, she definitely regretted it. It was kind of the same situation that Jungkook was in where he pursued something just because it was familiar and a distraction and not because he really wanted it. Both Y/N and Jungkook are flawed characters but that’s okay! If anything, Y/N’s mistake of sleeping with Erik is what allows her to forgive Jungkook. Knowing first hand how complicated their entire relationship really was.

“I don’t need you… but I don’t think I want a life without you.” You finished shyly.

Your eyes were locked with his when suddenly a small noise escaped him, eyes pulling away from yours as his head moved to attempt to hide the way his eyes had grown wet.

I got this line from one of my best friends after her ex broke up with her. It made me physically sad and really sympathize with her so I quickly wrote it down into my notes app to save for later LMAOOOO. Knowing that you are your own person and life will inevitably go on after losing someone, but that your heart still wants and is pleading for the one person you can’t have. SO SAD. I’m happy I got to use this line in one of my fics.

The note Jungkook wrote Y/N,,, imagine him not being able to sleep one night over winter break so he just writes down everything he should have told Y/N while he still had the chance…. I’ll for real cry dude, he’s so cute. Also, the line about him buying you fluffy Halloween socks for Christmas went over people’s heads I think but HECK I THOUGHT THAT WAS SO FUNNY AND SWEET (because Y/N bought Christmas socks when it was Halloween teehee).

"Are you two dorks done crying?" Yara’s voice rang out suddenly, causing both of you to jump apart.

"Yara, you creep! Privacy, dude! Ever try knocking?" You sniffed, wiping at your face hurriedly.

"What? Like you were peeing with Jungkook in the bathroom? Please." She waved you off, walking back into the living room to give you two some privacy. She did say Jungkook had 15 minutes before she’d have to come back in after all. "Anyway, Tae will be over in 10 minutes for the Saved By The Bell marathon that’s on so you guys are more than welcomed to join." She called out from her newly seated position on the couch.

I included this scene with Yara because things were getting too serious for my liking ngl. Plus the idea that the four of them would all come together at the end for a much needed reunion made my happy bitchin heart soar.

Jungkook let out a laugh, his palm finding your cheek, eyes locked on your lips. You were preening for his kiss, mouth parting slightly as you anticipated it.

“Partners?”

The question took you by surprise, eyes widening at your not so pretend lover.

Idiot.

“Partners.” You smiled softly, eyes shiny and brimming with tears as he kissed you for what must have been the millionth time, but still somehow felt like the first.

UGH I LOVE THEM I REALLY DO. I was so happy with how this final scene came out :( They’re partners, they really are I miss these boneheads.

AND NOW, I PRESENT THE CANON FUTURE OF THE BITCHIN UNIVERSE...

10 YEARS LATER

Let’s be honest, Jungkook popped the question the day of graduation, he can’t imagine a life in which you wouldn’t be beside him

You said yes (shocker)

Cue Jungkook being the most wonderful partner and respecting your wish to finish your residency program before having the wedding

You absolutely kick ass at being a neonatal surgeon

Also, Jungkook started a film company! It’s small but he loves what he does and works with colleges and helps out the film majors with resources and equipment <3

SO IT'S THE DAY OF YOUR WEDDING RIGHT

Yara and your sisters are helping you get ready, with your best friend as the ever so reassuring maid of honor

And by that I mean you’re as calm as a cucumber and Yara is one wrong move away from having a stroke

“Y/N… Don’t freak out....The catering company put in two orders of shrimp instead of chicken and steak.”

“Yara, it’s okay.”

“NO ITS NOT???? THIS IS YOUR WEDDING DAY AND YOU’RE GETTING CRUSTACEANS.”

Y/N making Yara take a seat and practice some breathing exercises so she doesn’t upset the baby

Oh yeah, Yara is 10 weeks pregnant

Taehyung is the dad lol

Yara and Taehyung have been together ever since that day at the library hehe <3

They moved in together and adopted a cat and everything (sweet boy Tae wanted a dog but Yara’s afraid of dogs and Tae would do anything for that woman so Yeontan the cat it is)

Yara refuses to put a label on their relationship even after all this time, and Tae doesn’t ask for one. They’re happy and dedicated to each other and don’t feel the need to put pressure on something that’s already so perfect

Yara is actually violently in love with Tae but still scoffs when Y/N tries to bring it up

“Oh my god, you’re so in love with him”

“Huh??? you must be sick or something. Get well soon, damn :/”

Yara likes to come up with different labels for Taehyung every time she has to introduce him. Among her favorites are roommate, rent sharer, baby daddy and penis lender

Speaking of Taehyung, he’d have a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder as he tries to calm down the panicking groom to be

“JK, breathe.”

“What if she doesn’t show up? What if she doesn’t want to marry me? What if I pressured her into this and— and I’ve freaked her out and now she hates me?”

“Dude, you guys have been engaged for eight years. She’s had her opportunity to run. She’ll show up.”

Taehyung scruffing up the younger man’s hair reassuringly, which only flusters him more because DAMMIT he wants to look perfect for you and now his hair is messed up >:(

(You like him no matter what his hair looks like though)

Jungkook literally swallowing down a sob as you walk down the aisle and he lays his eyes on you for the first time

You having a dumb smile on your face the entire walk over because your husband to be is crying and you haven’t even exchanged vows yet

The entire audience going all sobby when you finally do exchange vows because they’re so beautiful and real

The ten years together has not been easy— from financial struggles as you tried to support yourself through med school, to personal conflicts when Jungkook wanted to start a family already

But you guys figured it out

You always do

He’s your person. And you are his.

Y/N’s sisters Rosa and Lia are a WRECK— even your dad is tearing up

Your family loves Jungkook and have been counting down the days until you guys married, let’s be honest

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Jungkook punching the air with a “FINALLY!” before kissing the hell out of you

The cutting of the cake inevitably turning into a food fight

The shrimp entrees turning out to be pretty damn good

Yara catching the bouquet and wagging her brows at Taehyung suggestively

Jungkook pulling you aside to take photos of you outside the venue because you look so so pretty and he loves the way you smile when he’s the one behind the camera

The party is in full session, your siblings tearing up the dance floor like the extroverts they are

You and Jungkook are sat at the head of the room, hands intertwined underneath the table as you watch a tired and painfully sober Yara swing her bare feet onto Taehyung’s lap, requesting a foot rub

Watching your pregnant best friend and her lover together, you turned towards your own, smile impossibly wide

“What?”

“Let’s have a baby.” You’d grin, so stupid happy

Jungkook’s eyes going round and immediately jumping up from his seat because god that’s all he’s ever wanted

Being tugged out the room by a giddy Jungkook, one of your heels flinging off somewhere behind you.

“What’s happening? Where are we going?!”

The two of you find yourself in a storage room somewhere on the hotel floor

“Jeon Jungkook, what the hell—“

His mouth find yourself, kissing you in a way that couldn’t at the altar

You kissed him back without questions, arms wrapping around the man you now called your husband

“I love you.” He’d sigh into your neck, his hot breath causing you to shiver

“I love you too.”

“Let’s make a baby.”

“Yeah let’s— wait, right here? Right now?!”

Jungkook merely nodding as his mouth found the exposed skin of your chest

“Meathead, we can’t just ditch our wedding to have sex!”

“Why not? We did our marital duties. Now it’s our guests' job to get embarrassingly drunk and make a fool of themselves on the dance floor. No one will even miss us.”

“Isn’t baby making what our honeymoon is for?”

“Screw that. I’ve done my waiting. Let’s start our family, nerd.”

Jungkook kissing your protests silent before you inevitably give in and let him take you right there and then, your wedding dress hung around your hips

Husband and wife coming together with shaky breaths and hushed moans as they promise the rest of their lives to each other, making every argument, struggle or moment of uncertainty leading up to now totally worth it

Walk of shame back into the party with nervous hair fixing from you and a proud grin from Jungkook

Yara figuring out exactly why you two had sneaked off to, flashing the newly weds a knowing smirk

The night of your wedding, Jungkook surprises you with a present

You unwrap it in confusion, only to see that it’s a glass frame and inside of it is the wrinkled and worn out lined paper the two of you had scribbled on many many years ago

Jungkook hangs up the contract right above your bed as per your request, smiling as he does and jumping on him the moment he puts down the hammer bc dammit it you’re too heckin excited to make love with your sentimental loser of a husband

And yes, by the next month, you are pregnant and incredibly happy

And of course, your daughter and Yara’s son grow up to be best friends, not a family holiday passing by where they aren’t told the story of the totally bitchin’ way both set of their parents got together

[goldrushzukka]

1, 2, 7, 8, 9. (Sorry, i know that's like...all of them)

1. what themes would you like to write about that you feel don’t get explored very often?

i love writing coming out storylines. it’s not really that they’re uncommon, i just find a lot of catharsis in them. 

2. what are some common elements of stories you are tired of seeing? what would you avoid writing about?

i tend to avoid writing sibling dynamics bc i’m an only child and therefore not really. qualified. i love reading it though!! 

7. favourite description in your WIP?

it was really hard to pick one so i have a few answers for this bc i love to talk about myself so. (under the cut bc JESUS this got long but spoilers for and i’ll do anything you say (read it here!) ahead!!!)

- from chapter 2:

Sokka looks at him, a fantasy come to life, and takes off his stupid sweatpants.

He throws them at Zuko’s head, and earns himself a short burst of that real laugh, shocked and unguarded.

“You asshole,” Zuko says. He sits up and grabs Sokka’s hand, pulling him down on top of him. Something comes alive under Sokka’s skin where Zuko’s fingers graze his wrist. He calls it lust and ignores the fact that it feels nothing like it.

Zuko kisses him, his mouth still in the shape of laughter, and the alive thing screams for his attention. Sokka buries it and hopes it won’t deafen him before they’re done.

im very fond of this whole chapter (i think it’s probably my favourite? it was definitely the easiest to write) but i really love looking back on this part particularly now that we’re in the angsty part of the story bc this is where it all started. yes technically it started in chapter 1 but this is when sokka starts to fall for zuko. this is the beginning of all those pesky non-casual feelings that he’s going to pretend don’t exist until someone else calls him out on them.

- also from chapter 2:

He’s forty-five minutes late already, and when he knocks, a woman made of pursed lips and sharp angles answers the door. She looks elegant and expensive the same way a skyscraper does. Or a cache of medieval weaponry.

“Oh,” Sokka says, digging into his pocket to find the map on his phone. “I must have the wrong place, sorry -”

She looks him up and down, her eyes narrowed in a way that feels violent and practiced, and her smirk turns distasteful. Sokka risks a glance down at himself, at his torn up jeans - not distressed, just torn - and the Madonna t-shirt he’s pretty sure actually belongs to Katara, and thinks she might have a point. The bag in his hand feels heavier when her eyes land on it.

“Zuzu,” the woman calls into the apartment, “your dinner’s here.”

“I didn’t order -” Zuko appears in the doorway, bitter frustration in his expression as he looks at the woman.

His eyes fall on Sokka, though, and his face clears into a light-pollution smile.

this is technically two so i will start with: i love azula. i haven’t found any room to bring her back yet but believe me i am LOOKING. she’s hot and mean and gay and i LOVE HER. oh also insider scoop but suki’s date from earlier in this chapter.......WAS azula. they probably won’t see each other again because once azula met sokka and connected his face to the Best Friends Forever picture frame on suki’s desk she stopped answering the phone.

pt 2: i’ve had a couple of comments mention the “light-pollution smile” line specifically and i am always so happy to read them bc yeah. YEAH. i’ll admit it. that line HITS. 

- from chapter 4:

He sets his phone down - only, he doesn’t. He misses the table by a mile, and in his scramble to catch his phone before it breaks on the hardwood floor and wakes Momo on the cushion beside him, his hand finds the lip of his cereal bowl, and then that’s falling, too. He manages to catch the phone, but something in his head gets lost in translation on its way down his arms, and he ends up with a boxers-only lap full of soggy Cheerios.

Momo gets a splash of milk on his back and hisses at Zuko for his crimes, and somehow that’s the worst part of it.

haley @fruitysokka said that this passage reads like an action movie and i think about it all the time. (thank u haley i love u)

- lastly this extended metaphor from chapter 6:

The soup is good, once the heat of it clears him up enough to taste it. It’s thick and warm and there’s enough pepper that Sokka gets a kick from it even in his condition. He feels it all the way down his throat and into his stomach, where it mixes with the prickly nervousness he’s feeling from Zuko’s attention.

He sets the bowl down on the table and asks, eyes stuck on his hands in Momo’s fur where he’s climbed into his lap, “How was the date?”

“It was good, actually,” Zuko says. “Jet seems like a nice guy. He’s very - uh - passionate, I guess you could call it? He’s a climate and human rights activist.”

The spines of Sokka’s nervousness turn to daggers.

...

“I said yes. We’re getting lunch on Sunday.”

The daggers are swords now, and Sokka’s heart sinks down, down, down, right to the hilt.

...

“I’ll text you when I’m home,” Zuko promises, and Sokka’s heart skewers itself on a second sword.

Zuko’s smile when Sokka says, “Thank you for the soup,” is a third.

The door closing behind him is a fourth.

The silence as Sokka shuffles back to bed is every single one that remains.

something something canon swordsmen something pride comes before the fall something chivalry fell on his sword from eden by hozier. you guys get it i dont have to explain myself

8. favourite dialogue in your WIP?

ok so i cant share my actual favourite dialogue bc it's a spoiler for chapter 8 and i technically haven't written it yet (it's in my brain just.....plaguing me) but it's GOOD i SWEAR so. once again i have more than one answer bc actually? i love this fic and im proud of it. deal with it.

- from chapter 1:

“Hey, stranger,” Sokka says, still watching him in the mirror. The corner of Zuko’s mouth ticks up.

“You’re not following me, are you?” Zuko’s tone is seductive, endlessly so, and Sokka wonders while he dries his hands if he has to put it on or if he just sounds like that.

“You give a guy one compliment and he thinks you’re stalking him,” Sokka mutters, and Zuko laughs, low and enticing. Not the genuine, endearing laugh of this morning, but one with an agenda.

Well. Sokka always likes a plan.

“Are you following me? ” Sokka asks. He spies a miraculous dry patch on the sink bank and tries to be casual about the way he hops up to sit on it.

“I might be,” Zuko says, and at Sokka’s raised eyebrow, he continues, “I saw you at the bar and I wanted to talk to you. Sue me.”

“You wanted to talk.”

“Amongst other things.”

as a chronically awkward person i am INSANELY proud of the flirting in this fic. no idea if it would work in a real life situation. excited to never find out bc im not about to use lines from my fanfiction on real women. 

- from chapter 2

“You must be Suki,” Zuko says. He meets her gaze, and his fingers go still under Momo’s chin.

“And you’re Zuko,” Suki replies, her smile all different shades of intimidating. “I’d shake your hand, but I know where it’s just been.”

i wrote this entire scene just so i could have suki say this. im not even joking. suki is my favourite part of this entire fic and its not even ABOUT her.

- from chapter 3:

When Sokka crosses the room and slips under the covers beside him, Zuko says, “I can leave, if you want. I can go home.”

...

He asks, still barely hovering over Zuko, “What if I don’t want that?”

Zuko swallows. “I can stay.”

“So stay,” Sokka says, and lays his head down on Zuko’s chest.

i just think it’s sweet. i like it a lot. makes my heart hurt a little when i think about it. 

- from chapter 4:

[Suki // 15:13] there is a LOT of chmpagrjn

[Suki // 15:13] cahpmhagne

[Suki // 15:13] chsanpghn

[Suki // 15:14] alcohol :)

once again: suki is the best part of this whole fic. i love her so much. she is the reason the word bestie exists. im really proud of the texting in this fic bc it’s my first time actually including it in fic and it’s turned out really well!!

- ok last one bc i just realised this is turning into a novel. from chapter 4:

“How’s my baby?”

Zuko glances down at Momo, batting at the untied laces of his shoes with one determined paw. “He’s doing just fine.”

“And how’s Momo?”

“He’s - what?”

are there better written, more narratively important and emotive lines in this fic? yes. is this the best part of the entire thing? also yes. i invented the jin/yue wedding because i needed a reason for zuko to have a key in what became chapter 6, but sometimes i think the entire fic exists just for this exchange. best dialogue i have ever written.

9. what scene was the hardest for you to write and why?

the start of chapter 6 of aidays was difficult. i kept wanting to skip ahead to the meaty parts - i.e, zuko and his soup - but i didn’t want to do sokka a disservice like that. it was also really hard to maintain the balance of accurately describing the delirium of illness while still being coherent for the reader? so that took me a couple of days to get right.

[chamomileicedtea]

Two Wrongs & Mister Right - @beautcous 

Akasha had been at work when she received the email. They were coming for her. Her stomach dropped as her eyes scanned the screen, desperately wishing it weren’t true. An investigation into a string of homicides somehow managed to connect her to one of the murders, and although she hadn’t done anything wrong, all the evidence pointed to her. Akasha Jay Lowry had been framed. Luckily she was the only one still at the precinct, crunching details as per usual. She was a workaholic and practically lived at the office if she wasn’t out on a stake or new homicide. Frantically, her heart racing as adrenaline pumped through her, she gathered up her things with shaking hands, spilling her coffee in the process. “Shit!” Cursing under her breath, she grabbed her backpack and zipped it up as fast as she could, wiping the data from her computer with a few swift keystrokes and a handy virus laden USB. 

As she ascended down the cement steps in the back of the building through an employee only exit, Kasha darted down an alleyway to cut through town. She wanted to get to her apartment before anyone else did. The sound of police sirens wailed in the distance, so she ducked behind a dumpster clutching her cellphone. Shit. She couldn’t keep this phone. They would surely trace it if they weren’t already. Desperately she dialed the only phone number she still knew by heart. As it rang endlessly, she closed her eyes silently pleading. “Come on come onnn, Twix just please pick up...” Whispering, her pleas remained unanswered as it went to voicemail. She dialed again, but the result was the same. “Fucking damnit christ why wont you answer!” Kasha chucked her cellphone at the brick wall in frustration. Not that she could keep it with her anyways, GPS tracking was a bitch.

As she neared the building her apartment was in, her dark brown hues took in the dismay before her - police cars surrounded the building. She was too late. Anything she had desired to take from her place she had to let go of, she couldn’t go inside now. Sighing, Kasha turned around and ran down perpendicular alleyway that lead towards the park. It was hard to see in the darkness, but she made do. Twix lived nearby, that she knew, but she just didn’t know where. Rei would know. The Asian man who worked at his bar. Just after she made a mad dash across the street, dodging cars that honked angrily at her, she slipped into the park and was enveloped by its darkness. Strange. Normally it was a little lighter, wasn’t it? 

Gunshots rang out and she nearly had a heart attack as she bolted up against a wall of bushes. FUCK! What the hell was going on now?! Were they shooting at her?! Was that how badly she was wanted - dead or alive?! A million thoughts raced through her mind, and as if things could get any worse a sudden downpour of rain began. Her brows furrowed as she frowned. Of course it was raining, that was just her luck. She shifted and got on her knees, crawling towards the sound of gunfire out of innate curiosity. Given that she had not seen any police cars at the park she assumed the shots weren’t for her. To her surprise, the scene unfolding before her was involving the very man she attempted to call earlier. The actual fuck? Kasha’s eyes widened as she saw a young blonde female, early 20s, in the hold of her perpetrator with a glock up against her temple. Merely ten feet away - the asshole no doubt responsible for it all. 

Quickly realizing that he was not in control of the situation, Kasha knew she had to act fast or else that girl might lose her life. She watched for a moment as Twix hesitated to make a decision, and that was when she found herself in the same spot. There was a gun to the blonde’s head, if Twix were to shoot the man now, the perpetrator would no doubt blow the blonde’s brains out. I’M NOBODY’S WHORE! She heard the blonde scream, and Kasha not only stifled a laugh, despite the seriousness of the situation, but also panicked. Who had the balls to be so mouthy with a gun pointed at her head? Clearly she was no ordinary girl, she couldn’t be. 

Quickly deciding that she should avert the attention of the man she popped up from the bushes, threw a rock in his direction, and shouted, “POLICE! PUT YOUR HANDS UP!” As soon as the man’s attention turned to Kasha he aimed his gun in her direction, creating an opening for Twix to shoot him - right between the eyes. Kasha still had her weapon and her badge on her, so to any bystander it would appear she really were a cop trying to fix the situation. Hah. Little did they know. 

Kasha ran over to where Twix and the blonde were. Soaked in rain, her hands and knees muddy, she looked like a sad excuse for a police officer - let alone a top ranking homicide detective. No doubt someone had called in the gunfire by now, she didn’t have much time. “Next time you go on a date I’d suggest someplace a little more private.” She barked, walking up next to Twix to examine the bodies. They didn’t appear to be linked to the recent homicides, that she was accused of being involved in, and she was thankful she didn’t have to use her weapon. The bullet would surely be traced back to her firearm. “I can see you’ve got your hands full so if you’d be so kind as to tell me your address I’ll be on my way.” Her words were blunt and sharp. Kasha really didn’t want any more trouble - she was in enough trouble as it was. 

As the rain poured down, soaking the three of them, she heard Twix respond, his voice cold and calloused. “Two blocks down, third building on the right, penthouse. You know the code.” 

Satisfied with his response she darted off down the street, the wailing of police sirens in the distance. 

[tngrayson]

Once More, With Feeling - Ch1 - The Way I Used to Be

A/N: This took much longer to put out than I anticipated, especially considering I finished season 2 the day it released. Anywho...here you are! The sequel series to Break My Heart

Characters: Billy Russo x Reader

Word Count: 2000

Warnings: Angst

Your lazy Sunday morning with Billy, fresh from a long tour overseas, was drawing to a close as noon approached. You decided to linger in the shower for a little longer after Billy got out. While you enjoyed your ‘me time,’ he tied a towel around his waist and headed into the kitchen.

Billy had always been a coffee person, while you preferred your tea, so he poured some water in the machine for himself, and put on a kettle for you. As soon as he lifted the handle to run the water, the pipes creaked and the water, a cloudy grey, jetted out into the kettle. “Shit,” he exclaimed, remembering the faulty plumbing.

The shower stopped suddenly, making you pause to fiddle with the knobs on the wall. A second later, the water came back full force and ice cold. You couldn’t help the scream that slipped out.

“Sorry,” you heard Billy calling from outside.

“You need a new apartment,” you said, padding into the kitchen to wrap your arms around Billy, both of you in just your towels.

He laughed. “You’re one to talk. Your place is tiny. You call that an apartment?” he teased.

“My place is not tiny,” you defended, crossing your arms over your chest. “…it’s cozy.”

~~~~

The next weekend, you were helping Billy hunt for a new place. You had obsessed over looking at places online, while Billy was more eager to call some well-known realtors and make a few appointments.

After being led on tour after tour of apartments with ridiculously named floorplans, Billy took you to a building not too far from the space he was looking at renting for his new company. Most of the realtors had been nice enough, but this one took one look at you and Billy in your casual dress of jeans and sweatshirts and her attitude changed completely from how she sounded over the phone.

Rather than giving you a tour of the place, she opted to let you two take a self-guided tour—AKA wait in her car until you were done looking around.

“Well,” you said, writing off the realtor. “It’s not like you’d pick this place anyway.”

“Why’s that?” Billy asked, hanging his jacket on one of the hooks by the front door.

“Don’t get me wrong, this place is nice, but do you really need three bedrooms?”

“Course I do,” he said, pulling you into his arms. “Where else are our kids gonna sleep?”

“Oh, so we’re having kids now?”

“Mmhmm,” he hummed, kissing your lips. “The first four can share for a while, but we’d definitely have to upgrade in a few years when the others come along. I’d say this place is a little small for the family I want.”

“You really want that?” you asked.

“With you? More than anything,” he said kissing your knuckles, his tone suddenly serious.

There was a small silence between the two of you as you gazed into each other’s eyes.

“Come on, there’s plenty more of this place to see.” Billy wandered off into what was probably the master bedroom, while you stopped to admire the view from the kitchen. Just past the island was an open living and dining area. The wall was covered from top to bottom in sliding glass doors that let out onto a quaint balcony that overlooked the city.

For a moment you let yourself imagine living here with Billy and your children as they grew up. Frank’s parents practically raised you, and you loved Maria, Frank Jr., and Lisa endlessly, but you still knew the emptiness and loss of having no family. You never forgot those feelings from after your parents were killed. They stuck with you; they were why you clung to the Castles in the first place. You never wanted to feel that loss again.

You knew Billy felt similarly; growing up in group home after group home with no real family for more than a couple years.  You both longed for families of your own. Billy’s excited voice pulled you from your thoughts.

“Babe!”

You hurried into the master bedroom and through to the ensuite bathroom. Billy was relaxing in the oversized bathtub, one leg draped over the edge as he invited you to join him.

“I think I like this place,” he said after a while, eyeing you in the oddly placed mirrors that lined the skylight above the bathtub.

“Me too. Besides, it’s a good twenty minutes closer to my place.”

Billy hummed, shifting a little, “I figure this place is big enough for both of us,” he said, leaving the statement open.

“Oh,” you thought out loud. “I suppose it is—oh! Are you…wait, really?”

Less than 24 hours later, Billy was signing the lease. He also talked the realtor into letting him pay a little extra to keep most of the furnishings.

~~~

The boys brought up boxes while you and Maria unpacked everything.

“You know,” she started, “This would be a nice room for Frankie and Lisa to stay when you two babysit..”

“As much as we love the kids, Maria, I think you’re gonna have to fight Billy on that one. Those rooms are where our first four children are supposed to sleep—at least until we have more than that,” you said with a wink.

“He said that?”

You nodded, taking the “Living Room” box from Maria.

“Is that what you want?”

“I’d like a few—eventually.”

Just then, Frank and Billy came through the door with the last of the big items from the moving truck.

“Thank you, Frank,” you said, handing cold beers to him and Billy after they set down the box.

“Top floor, huh?” he said nearly out of breath, knocking Billy on the shoulder.

Billy shrugged. “Only the best for my girl,” he said eyeing you as he took a swig of the cold beer. “Besides, elevator worked yesterday.”

~~~

Billy’s mind was fuzzy. At first, the mornings in the hospital were easier. He would remember things about himself and his life little by little, but after so long, things started to even out. The memories came slower and slower until it seemed like there was nothing else left. When he really tried, his mind was plagued by nightmares. Any other memories were hidden behind gruesome visions of skulls and broken glass.

When he asked, no one would tell him about you or Frank; at least, they wouldn’t directly answer the questions he was asking. He couldn’t tell if they didn’t know, or if they just didn’t want to say for his sake.  Beyond the confusion, he was hurt. He’d been in a coma for six months, confined to the hospital with brain trauma for six more months after that, and he hadn’t heard from either of you. They told him you visited once after the surgery, but the only other visitor he’d had since was the drunk FBI agent who came to taunt him nearly every day, even after the formal complaints. Who the hell was she?

Taking the doctor hostage and escaping the hospital had been an afterthought. He didn’t plan for that, and once he’d started, he didn’t stop—couldn’t stop. He knew what he needed was beyond the confines of the hospital. When he’d got on the bus, and after, when he ended up walking, he didn’t know where he was going, but he’d kept on all day until he was in front of a luxury apartment building. The place was familiar, but he couldn’t remember why.

Punching in the door code had come second nature to him. He let himself run on auto; walking towards the elevators and going up to the top floor. He found himself hesitating in front of the door.  When he knocked, there was no answer. Whoever lived there probably wasn’t home. Before he realized it, he was fishing in his pockets for something to break in with. Something was telling him that he had to get inside of that apartment.

Finally, he’d gotten the knob to turn. When he pushed the door open, he let out an audible gasp. He’d definitely been here before.

Before he knew it, he was walking through the apartment. The apartment though lived in and clearly elegant felt lonely. There was a room on the opposing wall, but he avoided it, taking to the two rooms on the side of the apartment he was on. The first room had been an unused spare. The bed inside was made, but there had been time for dust to start collecting on some of the surfaces since the last use. He closed the door quietly and went on to the next room.

The first thing he noticed was the smell. It was different from the rest of the apartment. There was a hint of cologne clinging to the air in the room; trapped in there for who knows how long. He couldn’t help but think that he liked it. There were boxes on the floor and on the desk. He walked over to the open closet and ran his fingers across the sleeves of the many tailored suits that were hung there so neatly. Dress shoes lined the floor, and probably fifty ties hung from a rack on the wall.

Billy took a deep breath in and thought to himself, ‘what are you doing here? Why’d you break into this rich asshole’s apartment?’

He made to leave, but the corner of a picture frame peeking out of a box caught his attention. He stepped toward the desk to pick up the frame. The picture was of the both of you together. The Castles were in the photo too. Frank and Maria were standing with the kids between them while the two of you clung to each other.

He put the frame down, trading it for a bundle of loose photos in the box. Billy standing with Frank; one’s arm over the other’s shoulder. Billy in the park with Lisa and Frank Jr. Maria kissing Billy’s cheek.  His heart raced as he tried to focus on the memories that accompanied each picture as he shuffled through them. Each memory clung desperately to the edges of his mind, but there was that damned skull, and it took everything he had to push past and try to remember.

Soon enough, it was all too much for him. He dropped the stack to clutch the sides of his head, sending the photos scattering across the floor. He took deep breaths to calm himself. When he opened his eyes again, clearing the frustrated tears that were forming, he spotted a photo of something he remembered clearly.  The second time he proposed to you. The first time you hadn’t given him an answer for three days. Eventually, you turned him down and he tried again a year later.

He bent to pick it up. He was down on one knee holding a black ring box out to you in the middle of a frozen lake. White snow covered the entire landscape as far as the eye could see. Your cheeks were red in the harsh weather, and you both had scarves wrapped around your necks. Billy could practically feel the chill sinking into his bones as he looked at the picture. Frank and Maria had been there, of course, but they kept their distance, ready to snap the photo as soon as the moment came.

Billy had lost a lot of time with this injury; lost a lot of feelings and moments, but he remembered this day with you so clearly. The moment was soured as he was brought back to his old thoughts though. Why hadn’t you been there for him in the hospital? He loved you; knew you loved him. What could have happened to keep you away?

Billy put the picture in his back pocket and left to investigate the last room in the apartment. He turned the knob, slowly opening the door, and there you were; sound asleep in the bed in front of him.

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[dead-night-harringrove]

Modern au ghost Billy who was killed by Neil for being queer who lures Steve in and kills him so he won't be alone for all eternity

((this took a different direction and I’m SO SORRY KAI. Also to anyone else, I highly recommend reading the tags in case they don’t fit your blacklists)) 

  Billy’s been alone for so long now, cursed to each day feel the pain of his own skull shattering beneath driving fists. Though there are days where he fades, where his essence splinters off and scatters through the eternal Void, mostly he simply…remains. Each day, like clockwork, his soul collapses in on itself in memorial pain. He is forced, endlessly, to repeat the cycle of his own death. He had not wanted to believe it at first, that he was dead. The first time he faded, however, was what had finally caused him to break. 

The house was empty when he’d returned. Completely bare, with no furniture or signs of life. Thick layers of dust had covered everything, and he’d attempted to run out the door to see what the hell was going on. He’d been launched backwards into the house, blood pouring from his face as he screamed until no sound could come forth from his throat.

That was then. He’s since learned from the two other families who’ve lived in the house since he died, that it’s been over 30 years since his murder. 

The first family had been nice enough, and he had tried to engage with them in an attempt to nullify the constant mind-numbing blandness of death. Really, it was the boredom that bothered him more than anything. He was always moving, driving forward in life. The family hadn’t appreciated his attempts at communication, however, growing unnerved enough to leave after three months of living there. The second family had stayed longer, but he could tell they weren’t going to last. It angered him, and he’d began lashing out in frustration. Couldn’t they see he wasn’t hurting anyone? He just didn’t want to be alone anymore! 

They had fled the night he’d accidentally slung half of the kitchen into the living room all at once in a fit of rage.

Now, he waits for the next family to arrive, and prays they won’t leave him. He’ll make them stay if he has to. Billy’s wish is granted sooner than he had expected, in the year of 2018 the new patron’s calendar read. The newcomer was the only one who moved in, taking advantage of the cheap price of the supposedly “haunted” house. A college student, it looks like, studying complicated mathematics. His hair is long, almost to his shoulders and styled into a dramatic chestnut mane. He has a lithe frame, not incredibly thin but lean and all limb. The papers littered across the counter in the kitchen are addressed to Steven S. Harrington. Billy wonders what the S stands for only briefly, because otherwise he doesn’t care. He’s entranced by the boy’s, Steven’s, apparent grace and his beauty. 

The memory of why he was murdered, 34 years prior, resurfaces suddenly. At the mercy of his own flesh and blood, his father, he’d been outed after getting caught with another boy’s lips against his own. 

He’s suddenly overwhelmed with emotion as he realizes he can’t handle another person leaving him. Steve can never leave him, he can’t be alone forever for something he couldn’t help.

So he stays low, trying not to cause too much disturbance at first. Instead of acting out, he observes. He learns that Steve is bisexual, something that surprises him at how easily he says it and expresses himself. Billy is absolutely fascinated by the technology the living boy owns, things that when Billy was alive would have been considered nearly sci-fi in their advancements. Steve draws a lot, and he also runs a blog. Billy learns that Steve’s ex-girlfriend, Nancy, is also bisexual and is dating a girl named Kali who is an out and outspoken lesbian. Nancy’s other ex, Jonathan, is close friends with Steve as well and calls him one night freaking out over some big-name musician coming out as pansexual. That’s how Billy finds out Jonathan himself is pansexual, though he’s not sure what that means. If he wasn’t any smarter, he’d probably assume Jonathan was attracted to pans. That’s stupid though, so Billy dismisses the thought. 

He learns that 2018 is nicknamed “20-gay-teen” and feels a bitter twang run through his chest at the fact that he doesn’t get to enjoy this. What they so freely embrace and enjoy in themselves and take pride in, he was killed for. If he’d made it to 18, if he could have just made it a little bit longer, he could be alive right now. He could be married, to a man he loved because queer people can get married now, apparently. 

The night he learns the clever nickname is the first time Billy lashes out around Steve, knocking over a baseball trophy on his dresser. Steve abruptly shivers, the temperature in the room dropping albeit Billy can’t feel it. 

It’s the first time Steve’s witnessed anything strange in the house, and it makes every hair stand on end as he remembers he did, in fact, decide to rent a supposedly haunted house. He’d scoffed at the notion at the time, but now he wasn’t so sure. As a rational person though, he couldn’t decide the house was haunted just by an isolated incident. 

It escalates, steadily. Billy can’t stand it. He’s angry; why does Steve and his friends get to enjoy being themselves while Billy suffers, alone and doomed to die everyday? His father isn’t even around anymore, and yet he still relives his death. The pain, the shock, the emotions, they never fade as he slips into what he calls the False Sleep. His presence temporarily drops down, and he’s unable to do anything until the turn of 3AM. He’s not really sure why, probably something to do with stupid ghost logic. After all, Billy can walk through walls but he can’t go through the ceiling and he can’t sink through the ground. The most inaccurate thing anyone’s ever gotten in a ghost movie was the spirit being able to float or fly. Billy can confirm that he’s still a victim of gravity, unfortunately. 

Billy throws things, sometimes at Steve. Steve can’t really leave, either. Being a college student and having to juggle all of his debts, he can’t afford to just up and walk away. So he suffers through it. He curses at the spirit, looks up the history of the house and learns that the kid who died in the house was named William, but everyone called him Billy. He tells Billy to fuck off in the most polite manner one can achieve when dealing with an asshole ghost. The activity in the house calms after that, and for a while Steve believes maybe Billy left.

Billy, however, has returned to observing. When Steve had addressed him by name, it had been nice. Billy hasn’t heard his name, hasn’t been addressed personally, since he was alive. 

The first time Billy witnesses one of Steve’s panic attacks, he himself panics. He’d felt Steve’s anxiety and emotions rushing off of his form in waves, and had rushed in as soon as he could. Steve has scratches on his arms from where he’s digging his own nails into his skin, and Billy wants to reach other and pry his hands away from his arms. He impulsively tries to, and Steve feels goosebumps spread across his entire body. “Billy,” Steve says his voice so softly, tears dripping off his face so softly as he looks up directly at Billy but also through him. He’s looking in the right direction though, and Billy’s breath stutters in his chest. It’s the absolute worst time to be jerked out of Steve’s room into living room, feeling nonexistent punches landing on his body and his bones snapping and face crushing beneath long-gone pressure of hateful fists. He lets out a cry of pain and anguish, begging for mercy just this once… when three AM rolls around hours later, however, he curses fate for forcing him to suffer as he rushes to Steve’s room. He’s not asleep, staring down at his phone as he scrolls through Instagram mindlessly. Billy comes closer, and the signal of his phone degrades until nothing loads. Billy settles himself beside Steve on the bed, though nothing changes. It’s like he’s not even there, but Steve puts his phone down regardless and lays back on the bed. “You scared me earlier… you were there and then you were just gone. I felt you disappear. It was weird. I feel like I shouldn’t be this casual about living with a ghost but what can you do, right? I wish there was some way I could talk to you, but I’m not about to bring a Ouija board in this house. Fuck that shit. You know, Jonathan heard you one time when we were in a call. He said it sounded like you called me an asshole. You’re the asshole of the two of us though, you know? Always throwing my shit around the house and taking my things and hiding them from me… who does that? Is it really necessary?”

Billy giggles mindlessly, knowing Steve can’t hear him but he finds a lot of humor in the only thing that’s ever been transferred across their worlds was calling Steve an asshole. He sobers quickly, however, when Steve continues speaking. “Sometimes, I feel like dying. I want to, you know? I…I tried once. I know one of these days I’m going to end up trying again…life fucking sucks today. The world’s ending and no one’s doing shit about it and I’m just tired of it.”Steve sighs, and Billy feels his stomach pitch in sadness. He wishes he could do something to ease Steve’s pain, but nothing comes to mind. Billy settles for just being there, at the very least. Steve’s not alone now, even if Billy wants to do more than be a presence. Eventually, Steve falls asleep.

Time progresses, as it is prone to do. Steve is mostly okay, though Billy can feel the building waves of pain flowing out of the older boy’s body. He takes a moment to follow that train of thought, finding humor in the fact that Steve is older than him by societal norm, but by technicality Billy is 51 years old. He’s an old man now! He laughs to himself, and Steve shivers. “I hope you know every time I actually hear you, it’s like either a small child or a demon crawling up from the pits of hell. Your voice is not what it’s probably supposed to sound like,” he says idly. Billy snorts, knocking over a vase on the kitchen counter just to be a pain in the ass. Steve curses, looking over at the vase from where he’s sitting in the living room. Billy watches the debate play across his face before Steve decides he’ll sit it up later. Rolling his eyes, he props it back up himself. 

It’s nice. 

The first time Billy walks in on Steve with his pants off and his hand in his boxers, his brain backfires as it tries to catch up. His door was closed, dumb ass, he doesn’t usually close his door, runs through his mind as he tries to backtrack and leave the room but the image is going to be in his head for eternity. It overwhelms him enough to fade for a few days. 

When he returns, it’s with a shout and the picture frames on the wall rattle all at once. Steve jolts, looking around in a panic. “Billy? You’re back! You just vanished, I was worried you were gone for good…”Steve looks worse for wear, and Billy sees scabs on his arms. Guilt rises up in his throat as he goes over to sit beside Steve on the couch, and the music that had been playing from his laptop slows to a stop as it enters an endless buffering cycle. Billy wishes he could explain the fades to Steve, the temporary gaps in time as he scatters across existence briefly. He wishes he could say anything to Steve at all, and restless anger spurs his soul into frantic energy. The television flips on, off, and then on again. Steve frowns, scrubbing a hand across his tired eyes. “I thought you were gone.”

When Billy comes back from his next fade, it’s to the overwhelming sense that something is terribly wrong. Turning around from where he stands in the living room, he sees Steve’s bedroom door down the hall is closed again. He feels a pull towards it and he phases across the house, brushing through the door as an intense suffering hits him like a wall. The calendar on Steve’s wall reads different, by a drastic amount, to when Billy had last looked at it. It’s been three months, which isn’t the longest he’s ever disappeared for but he’s also never had a reason to stick around. Steve is curled up in a fetal position on the floor beside his bed, drooling and shaking violently. He retches, but can’t move himself into a different position not to choke on his own saliva and throw-up. His breathing is shallow, and too slow. His skin is paler than usual, and Billy’s eyes scan the room when he spots the bottle that’s rolled beneath the bed. He jerks it out, and sees it’s empty. The top is further beneath the bed. Ativan, Steve’s anxiety medication. He overdosed on what’s supposed to help him. “Steve!” His voice is foreign to his own ears, desperate as he glitches directly beside him. Steve’s eyes, glassy and unfocused, immediately turn to him. He’s crying, and Billy brushes his fingers along his forehead. Steve shivers, and retches again. “Make it stop…Billy, make it stop…” There’s nothing Billy can do, he can’t call 911 and even if he manages to, they’ll never make it in time. Steve is too far gone, that much Billy can tell. He can feel it, Steve’s spirit is closer than Billy’s ever felt it. So, he thinks and he feels tears spring in his eyes as he reaches into Steve, grabs hold of him. It’s a foreign feeling, his hands are somewhere inside of Steve but not at the same time. He grabs on, and he tears him out. Steve is slung from his body and he screams as he’s suddenly overwhelmed by everything. His hands go to his chest, scratching at the phantom intrusion of cold hands gripping his heart and squeezing the last of life from it. His eyes lose their amber hue, fading into a blank white with a gentle gold back-light. Turning to look at where he’d been laying moments prior, life fading, he looks at his body in mute horror. That’s his body. He’s not in it. He’d actually done it, he’d lost control and… a sob tears out of his throat, followed by a series of aborted gasps as he feels cold tears wash down his cheeks. Suddenly, he’s jerked away from his lifeless corpse and turned around to face a solid chest and a tear-streaked face. In an instant he recognizes the face he’s looking into, he’s seen it so many times before in newspaper clippings and articles online. “B-Billy?” his voice is wispy, echoing in his ears. Softer than he’s ever heard himself. He sniffles, and Billy smiles wryly. “Yeah, it’s me. I, I’m so sorry… I didn’t realize, I didn’t know it’s been three months since I faded. I never should have left…” He says it, even though he can’t control the fade. Steve will learn that soon enough, he’ll fade too. Steve reaches up, takes his face in his hands and just looks at him. His eyes are wide, full of both fear and wonder. Billy’s pulse quickens in his veins, uselessly since he doesn’t have a heartbeat to pump blood through his body but- whatever. It is what it is. 

Maybe it’s in an effort to distract him from what just happened, what they’ve both done, or maybe it’s Billy’s own desires finally being something he can act on, but he shifts just enough to press his lips to Steve’s. Steve gasps against his lips, but doesn’t move away. After a beat, he presses back against him. There’s nothing heated to it, nothing more, just a comfort they both take part in. 

Billy leads him out of the room, out onto the back porch to watch the sunrise. While neither of them know what’s next, both are content to finally have someone to spend forever with. Neither are alone anymore, and for now that’s enough.

[the-bisexual-dumpster]

Secret Santa - yea idk

A really overdue secret santa for @doc-corvid  (or at least i hope so ^^) I feel bad about not doing it earlier so have 5069 words of Joey! @hiveswapsecretsanta2018

Curling herself closer to the soft fur in front of her, Joey rubbed at her eyes for what seemed like the fifth time since starting the journey. She was exhausted - plain and simple. The day had been long and tiring not to mention she had left her family and Earth entirely behind with no clue when they would meet again. No clue if she would be alive to meet them again. Tears started to bead up in her eyes at the thought before raising her sleeve to wipe her eyes. As much as she wanted to tell herself that she did hate her younger brother, she did miss him deep down. He was 10! With all the monsters crawling around the place, he could get hurt and it’d be her fault for not making sure he was safe as his older sister… She let out a second sob.

She felt a small hand on her shoulder and turned around to see an equally exhausted Xefros almost leaning on her in support handing her a small piece of purple moss. Smiling at him, she brought her hand back and placed it in his. “I’m fine, Xefros.”

“but you were just crying?”  She laughed and wiped the remaining tears away with her free hand.

“No silly. It’s an alien thing. I’ll be okay.” Lying through her teeth, she turned back around. Deep down she knew that Xefros had seen right through her lie but, she didn’t really want to talk about it. She couldn’t even think about it without breaking down. Xefros was already anxious enough for her to dump her emotions on him.

Leaving the main city of the planet behind, they seemed to start going through a series of cliffs and caves stacked higher than her eyes could reach with crumbling rock spilling down. Small lights twinkled throughout the cracks as she turned her head to look as they moved onward. Small caves tunnelled into some parts of the rocks and it was a relief when she looked into the darkness and nothing looked back. However, they seemed to endlessly continue with rows and rows of caves that she started to collapse into the fur of the lusus. Xefros tried to nudge her up but she couldn’t stir. Plain and simple, she was exhausted out of her mind from the day.

Out of nowhere, they came to a stop and she almost fell face first into the soft fur of the.. Lusus? Spitting out the hair in her mouth, she lifted her head up. Behind her, Xefros takes his hand off her shoulder.

“hes tired…” Xefros mumbles to himself as he jumps off with a slight wince when his feet hit the ground. Joey hops off after him, fluffing the lusus’ head one last time and letting him nuzzle into her hand.

“So are we stopping for now?” She asks tilting her head and swaying to the right. Xefros looks back and forth between the lusus and her before slowly nodding his head before shaking it. She watches him go back and forth between the two before just nodding his head and sitting beside the lusus.

“i dont want to overeXhaust him plus i don’t think the heiress will find us if we stay in the shadows of the stacks…” He points to the shadows cast down from the cliffs. “This areas mostly abandoned anyway” Joey starts to look around, slightly bored with the conversation when something takes her eye.

“What about there?”  She points to a small entrance to what looks like a cave in the near distance, small rocks piled outside the entrance. Small little trinkets spilt out and she could spot small dolls, cogs and a flashlight not to dissimilar from the one she had. Xefros turns to look and seems puzzled.

“oh.. i dont know whats over there.” He rocks back and forth on his feet, uneasily picking at his elbows. Joey resists the urge to grab his hands to make him stop but that’d invade his personal space.“but you can go look if you want! i need to make sure dammeks lusus stays safe otherwise we wont have a ride and…” He pauses. “hell kill me when he gets back”

“Not on my watch he will!“ She puts one hand on his shoulder, comfortingly. "He’ll have to get through me first!” She exclaims, putting her other hand against her chest, a little too hard making her let out a small wheeze.

“are you okay joey? are you hurt?” Xefros goes straight into immediate panic mode, his hands fluttering around her body as if he wishes to help but doesn’t know where to start. She gives him a thumbs up and his arms go back to his side and judging by his face he’s embarrassed.

“I’m okay!” She wheezes, putting her hands on her hips.

Inside the cave seems way bigger and it’s stuffed full of things she’d expect to see in a yard sale. Piles of discarded items seemed to collect towards the ceiling all the way through the cave. In one area there was a small balcony that only held a toilet - or what looked like one at least. She wasn’t exactly tall enough to see. Out of the corner of her eye, she thought she could see what looked like a giant deer skull but she quickly turned her head away from it. Creepy.  As she moved to touch an umbrella, she saw movement to the left of her - messy hair and horns but all she sees is a small wood frame.

“Just a frame huh..” She moves to touch it but something else touches her and she screams. The messy hair she’d seen before had hidden in between the pile of junk in front of the frame and the frame itself - squashed in the small gap with their hand currently gripped tightly on her arm. They look at her panicked before gripping her other hand and she wildly kicks in front of her. “Get off me!” She screams, trying to move her hands away from them as they grip tighter and tighter. After a while of fighting, they let her go and she stumbles to the ground harshly.

“What the fuck are you doing here? You’re not C- t-that olive blood.”  They’re accusatory and scramble to their feet, stumbling over their words. Scanning them over, they remind her of Xefros in a way but more scruffy and orange. They seem unsettled and jumpy as they yell at her.

“I don’t even know what an olive blood is!” It’s mostly true - she mostly just knows about rust bloods and low bloods. Olive seems reasonable. Joey folds her arms in frustration. “I was just interested in…” She pauses before gesturing around her. “This stuff. Reminds me of a garage.” They fold their arms and sigh.

“Well, you’re clearly not them then.” They turn their eyes around the cave and seem to hold on a few different items that seem to have a bit more purpose - “This stuff,” They do the finger thing. “This is their art.”

“Art?” Joey takes another look and picks up a small caterpillar statue nearby - before it starts wriggling in her hand and she yelps. “That wasn’t art.”

“No fucking duh dumbass, that was my lusus.” They pick up the caterpillar and put it on their shoulder. The lusus crawls around their shoulder and nuzzles up to their face. “The art is like,” They point to a lamp with a small beaded chain wrapped around it before being tied off with a ribbon. Kinda cool. “That’s their art. It’s kinda cool to watch them make it. Even if it’s just garbage.” They blush slightly and Joey giggles under her breath, earning her a death stare.

“Do they know you live here?” She asks as she starts rifling through the stuff in the cave, flicking through a stack of books. It’s written in the same language as the items back in Dammek’s hive.

“They don’t even know my name.” They huff and start grabbing small rocks and bashing them together.

“What is your name?” They don’t answer, but Joey decides to take the initiative. “I’m Joey!” They glance slightly at her before going back to their rocks.

“‘’m Rulusk.” They mumble, pausing slightly before narrowly missing her via flung rock. “Joeeyy, you’re weird.”

“Says the one smashing rocks together.” She resists the urge to fling the book in her hands at Rulusk but, she has morals. The book doesn’t belong to her and she doesn’t exactly want to know what the oliveblood might do if she breaks their book. “So… What do you do here?”

They look at her and laugh. “Mostly just try not to die. And sometimes mess with their stuff.” They pick up a rollerblade and run their finger across the wheel. “Okay, maybe more than sometimes.”

She puts the book down and walks over to pick up the other rollerblade and runs it over in her hands. It feels familiar in her hands and she picks at the laces.

“Are these important to them?” She asks Rulusk who shrugs. She slips her shoes off and unties the laces, before attempting to slip her foot into the rollerblade. Surprisingly it fits and she rolls her foot back and forth, watching her foot slide across the bumpy ground of the cave. It’s fun, until she slips over one to many rocks and tumbles to the ground, Rulusk very clearly laughing at her. She glares up at him but she pauses. Dear god, he looks like Jude. The messy hair the goofy smile that she watches snap back to his usual grimace.

It reminds her of the first time Jude had used roller skates. He’d borrowed hers and they’d messed around in the living room, after she’d cleared away most of the junk lying around. She had been rolling around for a bit before Jude got curious enough to come over and ask. He’d tripped and she watched him sprawl on the floor and cry for a bit before helping him. She might’ve laughed in his face for a while before helping him up. Maybe longer than a while. She was an asshole when she was younger. She wiped her eyes before getting back to her feet.

“Can’t skate?” They quip at her, holding the other one in their arms. The laces are messy and have been pulled out in weird areas. She folds her arms and walks over to them.. She kneels and unties the rollerblade before handing it to them.

“Can you?” She smirks at them as they flush and fumbles with the skates in their hands. It’s satisfying to see them messily get the skates on their feet with weak knots before gliding out to where she was with double middle fingers to her. To her surprise, they’re actually quite graceful as they skate around the small space in the cave. They try to skate back to her but finally stumble on a rock and land right in front of her. She bursts out laughing while they scramble to their feet and death glare her. They pull the skates off their feet and shove them right into her arms, making her drop one on her foot due to the surprise. It hurts as the skates are heavy, but she tries to not let it show on her face to not give them the satisfaction.

She ties them back on her feet and skates away, more focused this time. Curiosity or spite? Both. Both is good. Whoever the olive blood is, they have a good opinion of art - the objects around the cave remind her of herself. Knick knacks and cool stuff that she’d love to hoard but she always finds them missing a few days later or in the trash. It always made her upset, but maybe it was for the better. It was just junk. But whoever the olive blood was, they cared about the junk. They made art out of it! She ran her hands across a skateboard and smiled.

“Weirdo.” Rulusk comes up behind her and leans over her shoulder. They’re around the same height but she’s slightly taller with the skates on. “What’re you doing?”

“Dunno.” She skates on, going round in small circles. It's tempting to try and jump or d something fancy but she knows she’ll fall on her face again. “I'm just curious.” They shrug and follow her, letting her lead them around the cave as she explores. Then she spots it and she audibly gasps. A telescope! Or what looks like one, but whatever! She rushed as fast as she could over to it and picks it up in both her hands. It’s heavy and she narrowly misses dropping it on her foot but she watches as it tumbles to the floor and breaks. Glass goes everywhere and she nervously rolls backwards. Rulusk slides up and picks up a piece.

“Damn Joeeyy, you broke it really good.” They smirk at her and casually throw the piece to the floor. “Did you wanna look at the stars or something? Nothing good out there.” She glared at him and kicked him in the shin. What was he on - the sky on this planet was fascinating! They had two moons - or two suns - for petes sake and she could see herself looking eternally into the beautiful purple of the sky.

“The stars are beautiful you prick.” She picks up a piece of glass and sighs. “I’ve got good memories of looking at them with my brother.” Jude was always more interested in the science side of astrology and was more than certain they would find an alien someday but Joey liked how pretty the stars looked when they twinkled. Learning about constellations wasn’t igh on her list - she didn’t need the stars to be a stellar veterinarian after all - but through the stars she felt like the shaky bond she had with her brother strengthened. They could sit with the telescope and talk for hours, Joey rambling on about the prettiest ones and Jude could tell her all about it. It was the only thing they shared an interest in.

“Brother?” Rulusk looks at her confused and she feels like slapping herself. Of course. Aliens don’t have families.

“We share parents. Wait shoot, you don’t have parents either do you?” Rulusk shakes their head but she spots the caterpillar crawling around their neck as well, making a connection. “Oh wait! Parents are kinda like lusus’. Except they’re not animals.” Rulusk puts their hand to the caterpillar and it crawls onto their hand, winding itself around their fingers.

“Sixkiller is an insect you alien bitch.”

“Sixkiller?” The caterpillar perks his head up and Joey giggles. She can’t make fun of him, as much as she wants to. She’s not that much better at naming things.

“So your brother is basically just another alien under a lusus?” They look confused as they talk, running their hands softly over Sixkiller. She nods and they seem excited before coughing and looking away from her. Sixkiller crawls up their arm and she watches as they nuzzle against each other. They turn to her, flushed and quickly shove their hands behind their back. “Couldn’t imagine having to share Sixkiller with anyone. It’s helped me out of like…” They pause, choosing their words carefully. “Everything I guess. This planets a hell hole.”

“My parents…” Joey takes her own pause, fumbling over her words. “Didn’t do that at all. They were horrible.” Bluntness would do. No need to tell a stranger how alone she felt from having a dead mother and a father who was ever home and when he was, he wasn’t even a good dad. “My mum was better than my pa but she’s been dead for a decade.” They stare at her, confused.

“That last sentence made no sense Joeeyy.”

“What?”

“Mum, pa, dead, decade - the fuck?” Joey facepalms. Dammit, she has to explain everything, doesn’t she.

“Mum and pa are my parents, decade is 10 years-” They still have a confused look on their face. “You don’t have years?” They shake their head and Joey stomps her foot in frustration. “Time?”

“No fucking shit we have time. Otherwise I’d be born and culled at the same time.”

“Culled?” They both glare at each other, frustrated with the language barrier - word barrier actually. It’d be harder if they were talking Russian, so it was lucky the only thing they needed t translate were different words.

“Culled is when you bleed and don’t wake up.”

“That’s what happened with my mum.” She speaks slowly and softly, talking to herself. It wasn’t like her to be this emotionally open with people, especially not strangers. But she couldn’t stop herself now and the emotions crawled out of their little hole to plant themselves in her brain. “S-she, she die-died. She got c..” She falls to her knees and cries her heart out. “Mum…” The words fall out her throat and her feet hurt from her position. But she feels like she can’t move. All her limbs feel frozen and all she can do is cry and reminisce. How did it get to here from just talking about death?

There’s something on the back of her head and she feels like screaming. But screaming would take effort that her body seems to only put towards crying. Then soft comforting words come and she sees Sixkiller out the corner of her crawling over onto her face, rubbing against her nose. Against her skin, it’s a stark white. Insects always creeped her out but she feels her breath pause as it crawls around her face. Rulusk in the corner of her vision is freaking out - something she didn’t expect.

“Joeey are you okay? Should I apologise? Fuck! Are you okay?” They’re panicking and she can feel them shaking her shoulder and she starts laughing. It feels croaky and painful but she prefers it over the sound of her shaking and crying. “Is that a good sound?”

“I don’t know! I’m scared out of my mind right now!” Joey chokes through her tears and rubs her eyes. Sixkiller is still crawling across her face and it feels weird. But it distracts her from how badly her chest hurts. She slowly moves her feet to a more comfortable position and rubs her eyes again.  “I-I miss my, my mum. I miss her so, so, so fuck-fucking much!” Rulusk crushes her with a hug and they lean into each other, crying.

Her mother had gotten her a book of veterinary for her fourth birthday - the last gift she’d ever gotten. The memory of it was ingrained in her brain, the last thing she had in common with her mother before she died, leaving Joey alone with her baby brother and absent father. Leaving Joey all alone, trying her best to crawl through the days. She’d never fully understood the book at four - which was a strange gift for a four-year-old now she thought about it - but the book had changed her life. Maybe she was only so attached to it because of the memories behind it, but either way, it had given her hope. She’d read it more times than she could count and when she was sad, it was a nice thing to go back to. But the book wasn’t here. Just her, Rulusk, Sixkiller and -

“joey?” Oh fuck. She looks over to the direction of the voice and she can see Xefros near the entrance of the cave, nervously peaking in. Dammek’s lusus presumably where they’d left it. He walks in closer,“youve been in here for a while.” Xefros peaks into the cave and his eyes go wild when he spots her. “joey! oh my god what happened? jm so sorry i shouldnt have abandoned you!” Xefros rushes over and glances briefly at Rulusk with worry in his eyes. “is she okay?”

“I am not okay!” Joey yells loudly and pulls her legs in front of her. “I am so not okay right now!” She pulls the skates off and chucks them to the side, hearing them clang against the piles of trash before settling against the cave floor. “I miss my mum, Xefros.”

"whats a mum?” He asks and she slams her head backwards in frustration. It hurts like a bitch but damn did it look cool. The headache isn't cool either nor is whatever's dripping down her neck. “nevermind are you okay?!” He’s shaking her and she smiles at him lazily with a thumbs up.

“I’m good Xeffy.” She slurs before clutching her head and groaning. Her headache feels more like a migraine at this point from how much it hurts. “Oh geez my head!”

“joey! you could injure yourself or worse! please don’t do th-” Xefros tries pulling her to her feet but he doesn’t expect her weight and she drags him straight back down to the floor, making his head bang against it. They collapse against each other and Joey feels her vision blur, slowly adjusting. Her head is rested right against his chin and she scrambles to her knees. Awkward.

“Ironic” She mutters under her breath, before the panic sets in as she rolls off him and shakes his shoulder. He doesn’t stir and she starts to freak out more. “Xefros? You good?” Her voice slowly rises and she starts to slap his face. As she starts to consider something more extreme, Xefros slowly opens his eyes and stares at her.

“that wasss... a baaaadddd idea” He slurs before collapsing again. With all her strength, she slaps him and he stirs awake. “joey?”

“I’m here.” She hugs him tightly, slowly moving her hands from his back to the back of his head. Her fingers lightly touch the spot and she can feel the blood almost immediately. Internally preparing herself, she lifts her other hand to feel the back of her own neck and winces. Lifting it away, her hand feels more sticky and bloody in general. Even though he’s right in front of her, her vision of Xefros blurs as she shakily returns her hand back to her front. “Xef?”

“joey.” He murmurs back to her and slowly rises up. They hug again, her bloody hands getting on his shirt. If he notices it, he doesn't comment on it as they embrace again.

“Um.” In the entrance of the cave is a sudden pile of art/trash, behind it a confused troll wearing a green hat with a low and gravelly voice. They pause, looking over them Joey can feel Xefros trying to shrink into himself. Rulusk slowly walks into her vision as they look around panicked. She tries to whisper to them before they dive into a pile of garbage, before peeking their head up, Sixkiller crawling across their eyebrows. “Am I high?” They ask. They shrug and pick up the pile again. It’s quite slow, as they pick everything up in slow motions, before staggering towards her and Xefros. They put the items down as they walk - a lace next to the skates she abandoned and a plank next to the frame she’d met Rulusk by. Finally, they come up to her and Xefros and sit down next to them.

“Hi.” She waves to them. They slowly blink at her and wave before turning over to Xefros and placing their gloved hand on the back of his neck. He shivers under their touch and they pull their hand away, freaked out from the sudden emotion on their face.

“Thats…” They start, placing a finger under their chin, the dark red standing out against the grey. “A lot of blood.” She’s noticed, most of their actions are slow, controlled. It creeps her out in a way. They reach out again and slowly lift his hair up at the base of his neck and she sees them wince. “..Oh.” They turn to her and reach their hand out but she slaps it back. They snap back and hastily look away. Their eyes landed on Rulusk and she sees their eyes narrow. In return, Rulusk raises their middle fingers and sinks even lower to which the troll rolls their eyes and turns back to her. They point to Rulusk and sigh. “I dunno… What's their deal..” They shrug and lean their head on their shoulder. “Are you?” They lean their head on their other shoulder. “Okay?” They lift their hands towards the back of her head and she hastily nods her head as she crawls backwards, hitting her head on the pile of trash behind her.

“No I’m not.” She puts a hand behind her head and the wound feels like it was reopened due to the blood, prompting her to show the bloody hand to the troll who clambers to their feet and walks to one of the piles they’d been to earlier, pulling out some sort of moss and ribbon. They turn back to her and gesture to it. When she doesn't say anything they sigh and explain it verbally. “For your head.” Looking over to Xefros, she nudges his shoulder.

“itll help joey” He smiles at her and gestures the troll over. They walk back over and drop the moss and ribbon to one side - the squelching noise the moss makes when it drops making her nervous for it to be put on her exposed wound. But from her veterinary knowledge, the moss and ribbon resemble an earth plaster and a plaster would help a head wound. It didn’t seem to big for it not to be effective after all. They seem to know what to do as they pick u the moss and spread it across her wound, discarding one of their gloves to do so. As they apply the moss, the picks up the glove and examines it. Sturdy fabric with a small label written in a scrawl reminiscent of Jude’s handwriting. Except somehow worse, but she’d never mention it to Jude if she got home. Then she feels a hand over hers, turning around to see the troll. She lets it go and they place it next to the ribbon, which they pick up.

“..Don’t touch my glove..” They murmur as they work on applying the ribbon to her neck. It’s cold and she shivers as its placed on a layer by layer. Eventually, it’s over and they turn Xefros to repeat the same thing. Touching her neck, the ribbon almost seamlessly merges with her skin and the pain has nulled by a good bit. Definitely not a human bandage, but she wishes it was. This kind of technology would be amazing on earth.

“Hey” The troll looks over to her as they wipe blood on their bandana. She spots an olive symbol on it and her heart stops. Shoot, it’s the olive blood Rulusk had been going on about. “What’s your name? I’m Joey.” Might as well be polite as the troll looks from Xefros to her and back, before shrugging and pointing to where Rulusk had disappeared from.

“Who’s that first?” Rulusk peaks their head up again with Sixkiller directly against their eyebrows and the troll croaks a laugh, making Rulusk blush. Aww.

“Sixkiller.” She replies and Sixkiller wiggles in response, climbing onto one of Rulusk’s horns. The troll shakes their head and points again.

“Not Six.. I know Six..  .. Troll.” Weird how they know who Sixkiller is and not Rulusk but she doesn't comment on it. They enunciate each word even slower than usual and Rulusk slowly ducks their head from sight as the troll keeps direct eye contact with them.

“Oh that's Rulusk!” Rulusk immediately comes back up to throw a stone at her but the troll deflects it by sticking their arm out and swatting it back at them.

“Thanks..” They respond to her, going back to applying the moss to Xefros. After they finish, they pick up the ribbon before dropping it. “Oh.” They pick it back up and turn to her with a small grin. A small tooth peaks up, carnivorous from the point. “‘..’m Charun.” After that, Charun turns back to applying the ribbon to Xefros who gives her a thumbs up. It only takes a few minutes for them to finish up before they get to their feet and walk over to where Rulusk was. She rushes over to Xefros and examines his wound, neatening up the ribbon in the places where she can see the purple of the moss or worse the red of his blood. A good opportunity to put some of her veterinary skills to the test, the most practice at home would be her own small injuries, Jude’s constant bruised knees and Tesseract who got injured the least, unfortunately. Well more, fortunately as she loved Tesseract and her floppy ears. Oh damn, she’d forgotten about Tesseract all alone in her dog house. Would Jude take care of her? Or have the monsters gotten her already… No, she pushed her emotions back. She didn’t want to start crying again. Emotions could go away for today.

“Xefros?” Xefros turns around and she engulfs him in a second hug. “Ready to leave?” He nods and gets to his feet. They turn to their host and her face pales as they have Rulusk’s foot in their hand, holding them upside down with Sixkiller on their hat, as they mumble words about not coming into their cave again. Rulusk is screaming while Charun has an impressive poker face as Sixkiller starts to crawl around their horns. “Um Charun?” They tilt their head and lift Rulusk a bit higher. “We’re gonna leave, now.” They nod and turn Rulusk right way up before dropping them who yelps. As they walk out she can feel Rulusk glaring at her to which she glares back. Then she trips and falls flat on her face to which she can hear their haughty laugh. All her sympathy vanished as she clambers to her knees and walks away. Charun waves her away while Rulusk gives her the middle finger with one hand and tries to get her with the other. Walking Xefros to the entrance, she waves him to carry on while she turns back and punches Rulusk right in the face, before running back out.

Worth it, even if she has to avoid tripping over their extended leg on the way out.

End Notes: Rulusk Sylvan is a mutant bronze blood that’s the troll hiding in Charun’s cave. Them and Charun don’t have a good relationship. They’re a jerk but have like 1% good heart. Also their lusus was gonna have a normal name but there’s this one charater in the book I was reading Henry Sixkiller and I had to. He stuck a fork in a toaster.