#and it is looking like a pretty lonely existance rn :')

[your-ne1ghbor]

Asha design reference I think idk (TKORAT AU)

She kinda reminds me of young Amaya unironically lol

(probably bc Amaya gave Asha her old clothes 💀💀💀)

(Or that I was playing with my style again for the millionth time)

I FORGOT HER FUCKING FRECKLES NOOOOOOOOO

Also been thinking about changing her sidekick animal to smth different but idk what tbh 🐀

HEheh ofc I had to draw silly angst and moment together

For her dress, Im not even done with it. I wanna add patterns that represents her and the kingdom but idk how to execute it outfit wise atm. Plus, I wanna fix some problems I have with the dress, mainly the middle and top part as well since it really reminds me of FS! Asha and I dont really want that and wasn't trying to go for that 😭

The hair was pretty fun ngl. I got to see a ton of styles in box braids and they're all really pretty :D. I simply went for the pulled back box braids since I thought it fit her well design wise.

The crown was the easiest. I was just simply looking at crowns from medieval times and I kinda got reminded of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, And the Wardrobe. Specifically the ending where the kids got their crowns.

I felt like it just fit her design wise. But that probs just me being a sucker for flower crowns right now smh 🤦‍♀️

Going back to the dress, I was heavily looking up Spain Outfits from medieval times including some other ones, like the French outfits for example, mainly as inspriation for the outfit so I can come up with my own design of a dress for Asha :D

The rest of the dress kinda came from my pencil, I was just sketching until the design looked right to me and then was like: YES haha

I did look at her early concept version's of Asha as well, but it was only for her hair, since it is always the hair I have trouble with

(plus this is one of my fav styles I see Asha in from the art book lol)

Idk if this will be her ACTUAL FINAL design, but ig it is a part of the process of my overthinking :')

Annnnnndddd ofc thinking how I am gonna traumatize her in her childhood. Hell yeah...

...

:(

[alwaysneedyforsir]

just so tired.

[toastsnaffler]

ahh.. I have tickets for a small music festival tmr which I went to last year + had a whale of a time but this year theres only like 2 artists I wanted to see but they released the schedule a couple days ago and neither are playing before 9:30pm. since I don't live local anymore I'd have to leave to travel back home around that time or I'd miss the last train... and there's not rly anywhere I can crash overnight there (and I was planning on going alone anyway like I did last year). so I think im gonna have to let this one pass me by :-(

[potato-lord-but-not]

ok humor me here- chnt au where mostly everything is the same except it takes place in the magnus archives universe ?? and yk I’m open to community speculation and yall adding on to this because I need more opinions !!!! unhinged ramblings under read more :^)

ok ok so camp here & there is a site that’s run by The Spiral, everything outside of that is practically normal, but the camp makes everyone believe that the events that go on here are actually not that weird. It could also be a place where the bridge between the fear entities and earth is thin, so that’s why there’s a lot of activity from several different entities.

At least once a counselor mentioned “why do we keep working here every year?” And Soren was never actually fired, which just adds fuel to the fire tbh.

Most of the counselors there are just marked by the spiral, but others are marked by different entities. Some might not be full on avatars yet, but still posses supernatural qualities (like Oliver Banks until his death). Rowan is an Eye avatar, and although it’s made a point that the eye can’t really see the future, that just makes Rowan’s situation that much more worrying. Soren, ofc, is an avatar of The End. Self explanatory. Jedidiah mighhhttt be Web aligned, or even The Lonely (now that I think about it he most definitely is the lonely in someway) but I’m not entirely sure what to do with him yet. Adam is a Flesh avatar, and maybe one of the only ones who actually knows he’s an avatar (besides maybe Soren and Lucille). Elijah seems like an End avatar, with him being overly obsessed with making sure Sydney stays asleep for the greater good of humanity. His trying to sacrifice Sydney was an attempted End ritual, and would’ve most likely failed w/o intervention bc Sydney hasn’t been marked by all the fears yet.

Sydney is this au’s Jon, he’s being led into the position of the antichrist by Lucille, who is The spiral avatar. So far Sydney has been marked by the spiral (working at chnt), the end (Soren, the gravediggress, and the mold), the hunt (… the hunt), the flesh (Adam), the corruption (the hive incident), the eye (the bonfire, Rowan), the lonely or the web depending of which Jed aligns with more, andddd I’m sure others that are slipping my mind rn.

Jed (more than likely on accident) cemented Sydney as an Avatar after he killed and reanimated him, and Sydney is able to stay fit at the camp bc he feeds off the unhinged Spiral energy it creates. I also think Sydney was marked by The End at an early age, and that’s why he was chosen to be the sacrifice by Elijah (even if he doesn’t realize it) and why he’s very into death and decay.

The Magnus Institute DOES exist in this au, and they (Jon n the gang) find out about this camp due to a tired looking young man who convinced his slightly unhinged boyfriend to make a statement with him about the strange place they work at over the summer (ps Juniper is Very spiral aligned, more so than the rest of them, thinks that the camp is actually pretty normal and doesn’t know what Rowan is going on about, and seems to live in a place that Jon later finds out doesn’t exist at all)

ummmm I think that’s it for now, let me know if you have anything to add or silly thoughts about it ??

[primoppang]

hi. hi. here to request. a little seungmin fluff where we are kind of lonely and sad and he reminds us that he’s always there : )

HI HONEY TY FOR BEING MY FIRST EVER REQUEST <3333 ily and seungie so I got u bby ◡̈ mwah ur the best ( ˘ ³˘)♡

warning: swearing is inevitable with me sorry ¯\_(˶′◡‵˶)_/¯, fluff, like gross amounts of it, seungmin says "this is so gay but..." because he cringes at showing affection but refuses to let you forget how he feels about you fr, he's a tsundere ok? ok. he licks your face(?) , one (1) kiss, he joking threatens to fight you, and mentions of self doubt and anxiety, angst if you blink but I think it's mostly fluffy... anyways! lmk if I missed anything!!!

WC: a little under 500 :D

AN: this is the first drabble I've ever done in bullet point format so just pls lmk how it goes??? Im super nervous I hope it's at least an easy read :(

so the first time he realizes that you're feeling lonely he slaps himself internally because how DARE he make you feel that way, but he's not home rn and can't show you physically so he comes up with a Plan™️

you're literally the light of his life

so he just >:(

but not at u

he just wants to make you feel happy and loved and safe

so he starts brainstorming

but he's naturally a menace

so when you're texting with him while he's working and you're being kinda short

because yk

u just feel :(

he just sighs and texts back

"look, please don't feel sad. I know this is pretty fucking gay but I love you."

which makes u giggle

because that's YOUR seungie that YOU know and love so much

<3

BUT whenever he's able to be physically with you and he can just feel your self doubt and anxiety creeping in and trying to swallow you, he once again uses his braincell.

so he just grabs ur hand

and leads u out of ur bed and to the living room

sits u down

and starts running around ur shared apartment grabbing every blanket and pillow that exists within the space

and I mean

E V E R Y. S I N G L E. O N E.

puppy zoomies moment hehe

and don't even think about trying to question him

he'll just say "shut up and wait while I set up a big ass fort for us to cuddle in, ok?? I love you but I wanna make u SEE THAT."

which u smile at

because him telling u to shut up

but then explaining why

and then also watching him move furniture and start building the fort, you tear up with happy tears

because???

:(

he's the sweetest and u love him so much

but when he hears u sniffle

he turns on Extra Puppy Mode™️

pops out from under some blankets and tackles you into the couch and holds your face

wiping ur tears

maybe even licked one because he's a freak and wanted to get a reaction

which u just squealed at bc wtf sir

but then he realizes

oh ur crying because ur so touched by this whole thing that he's doing

!!!

"... you dummy. stop crying... we gotta get snacks and stuff for our super awesome fort yk??? and you won't be able to see if you're cryi—"

you cut him off by giving him a little kiss on his pouty lips

as a silent thank you :(

which he realizes that oops maybe he got too serious and overwhelming

but you reassured him that you're just so glad to have him as your partner and best friend in one :(

"please just remember that I do love you, and I'm always here even if that brain of yours tells you otherwise, ok? or I'll have to fight you... affectionately."

and then he proceeds to smother you in kisses and cuddles :(

[blorb-el]

Psssst does the au superbat fic exist bc I waaaaaaaaant it

I want it too 😭 tragically it only exists in about........4.5k scattered scenes which I try to poke at in between working on my main project rn!

misc worldbuilding scraps that are currently rotating on the back burner:

(omegaverse) human instinct relies on scent > hearing > taste > sight to find compatible partners, kryptonian instincts lean on sight > hearing > scent > taste, hence the mating markings

omegaverse humans have a much higher degree of face blindness than we normal humans do lmao

helps clark pass, the more he pulls his scent back the more it fades away, clark kent smells so dull/insignificant/mild that it seems like he's got a medical condition (hypomyrodia). jonathan kent had this. when jonathan and martha found bby kal, he was scared and tried to match scents to the two humans who found him, which caused his kryptonian scent to quickly fade. a hypomyrodic pup would probably face high abandonment rates and low adoption rates, so it was probably a relief that two willing parents brought the pup in

kryptonians all pretty much exist along a relatively smooth spectrum of sexual characteristics and can transition somewhat like clownfish if there's a hormonal imbalance in their community. having zero (0) other kryptonians around does things to clark before he grows the fortress and is able to synthesize hormone stabilizers

humans meanwhile have ten major sexes because betas can be true beta, alpha-leaning, or omega-leaning depending on their recessive genes

poison ivy is x100 more horrifying in any omegaverse world. she only manages to zop clark though bc the pollen is enchanted. however it's enchanted to induce primal alpha hindbrain, which means something very different to lone kryptonians than packbonded humans

it would have been the norm on krypton to have one's facial markings out. kryptonians would pull them back if they were sick, or perhaps terrified... primal hindbrain clark looking around and seeing nothing but non-glowing faces, and it coming across as everyone around him fucking terrified of him

for the first few months of their acquaintance clark is like. im not sure what gender batman is and at this point i'm not sure its ok to ask (he can smell past the concealing patches to bruce's strong omega scent but the patches could also be doubling as, like, the equivalent of binders, could be that batman's gender is null, but he mixes in diluted alpha cologne, but that could just be for concealment/intimidation....???)

sun-powered kryptonians have a strong, distinctively alien but somewhat alpha-smelling scent (when they're not pulling it back) but barely leave any on people they try to scent with, and scents barely stick to them. when clark politely explains this to bb dickie hes just like well i guess ill just have to scent you for longer! and clark goes 🥺

at this early point in the timeline barry is the only known omega superhero so the tabloids are huge into superflash

anyway all that's just kind of fluff/details... the core theme i've been rotating around is overcoming real and genuine barriers to intimacy. the loneliness of knowing you're a square peg in a world of round holes, the necessary compromises of sanding away your corners, the joy of meeting someone who will stretch to meet you where you are. there's a fair few excellent fics of bruce uncomfortable in an omega's role and body, i want to come at it from a perspective where a xenomegaverse clark has to define what gender means to him, in the heightened roles of the omegaverse. we are looking also at layers of passing. when parts of your closet become your armor that protects but encumbers you, and other parts become your exoskeleton, which grow into who you are. we are looking at that comic about the orchid that has the pattern on it meant to appeal to an extinct species of bee. we are looking at compromise made of love and compromise made of fear. and we are looking at tentacles baby.................

[aoki553]

GRGRGRGRG FINALLY AN OPPORTUNITY TO INFODUMP ABT HIM!!! tysm @makifishcake and prepare for a long ramble abt best boy ever (to me) and why saijun is real... let's start with an introduction to a canon crossover character only The Loser (me) cares about! this is gonna get messy in writing near the end cuz its like 3 am for me rn.

Kouno Jun is one of the two protagonists of Asou-sensei's older work, Our Hero Studies and is one of Haganeno Ken's students at Holy Lance Academy (a private school that either exists the same town as Saiki or some neighboring one)

The only translated OHS chapters so far show us who Jun and Haganeno are as characters. Kouno Jun's a generic tsukkomi high school student with normal teenage boy interests and crushes... he's baby and a total boyfail.

Jun likes video games (Kaisou Monogatari, an in-universe franchise), ramen, melon soda and Yayumi - the class rep. Pretty normal dude that's just being constantly bothered by his classmates and the teacher he hates...

...and then there's Haganeno Ken - THE delusional cosplayer hero wannabe teacher with huge interest in roleplaying and RPG video games, who immediately takes a liking to Jun, mainly for his name (his name means shield, while Haganeno's mean sword. you see where i'm going?)

most of the ohs panels will be machine translated cuz i have no strength or motivation to continue my actual translation work ngnhnh one day maybe... 😔

He may look like a generic high school shonen manga protagonist, but it's actually really charming to me how adorable he can be despite the boring presentation lolol HIS CRUSH ON YAYUMI IS SO CUTE UGHNHNH

And yeah of course he shows up in Saiki bc WHY WOULDNT HE???

Asou-sensei put him there twice. In the Christmas chapter where he's walking with a girl (MOST LIKELY YAYUMI), sees Kusuo sitting alone and being like "haha that's so sad to be lonely on christmas lmao"... EXCEPT ITS HILARIOUS CUZ HE DOES THE SAME THING IN HIS OWN MANGA'S CHRISTMAS CHAPTER.

and in the Hero Studies crossover chapter, right at the end as an unused character. (wouldn't make sense to have two tsukkomis there tbh so i get it lolol)

Same thing happens in the anime except Jun in the Christmas episode wasn't animated like he's an actual pre-existing character, except just a background character so he looks different but has the same jacket with his initials so its definitely him.

so here's all his screentime:

his terrible sense of style was referenced by Takeru at one point as well. yes, Jun dresses terrible and he has outfits much worse than this. hes a loser and i love him

okay but what's with the saijun thing? orz

basically its a silly ship me and my lovely sweetest gf (@lu-kario ) came up with and it kinda stuck around. "omg haha what if the two protagonists from different manga dated" but yeah it became an actual thing with thought out scenarios between us.

Me saying it'd be like satousai but Kusuo finds someone "normal" with actual personality would be not giving this ship enough justice. I can't tell much rn cuz I forget 90% of the stuff i make up unless i write it down BUT all i'll say is that

I like to imagine Jun and Kusuo having a calm and nice relationship, lots of quality time spent playing video games or going out to get some ramen together. Kusuo gets to have someone more usual by his side and Jun isn't likely to be bothered by Ken when Kusuo is around (:3).

and yeah, they do get another scene together in volume zero! how lovely! the christmas episode is also one of the reasons i find the ship cool but even despite the sillies having canon scenes and illustrations together i like it simply for fun.

canon crossover ships are cool and epic

my final words: go read ohs its fully in japanese online and 5 chapters are in english so far.

seriously go read it the fandom doesn't exist its really lonely.

and if you care abt our hero studies u can motivate me in the ask box, gimme a kick on the butt so i go and translate this work again after like a year or more of hiatus

[gh0stsp1d3r]

ooh! since you’re doing alistair requests…

maybe dead!alistairxreader where he comforts you after a nightmare?? just need some fluff rn <3

i love this anon 😇🫶🏽 hope you meant something like this

𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐬

Warnings- Alastair’s dead readers alive, mentions of beheading, he says sum about you dying to join him but it’s small

It wasn’t short after your husband had died when you started having reoccurring nightmares. The one to help you through them? His ghost.

It was odd when he first showed up, and you didn’t even notice it was him. You screamed and panicked until he said it was him and he explained everything.

It was scary at first, and you didn’t quite know what to do. But slowly you got used to it.

You were left the mansion, all by yourself. It was lonely at times, Alastair was away doing god knows what most of the evening, and he usually didn’t show up until midnight or late at night.

You didn’t question him, despite desperately wanting to.

And tonight was one of the many nights you were left alone, Alastair no where to be seen or heard in the mansion.

You got into the bed, staring up at the ceiling for a while and your eyes slowly started to close.

His smile was wide as he danced with you, almost as if the others around you both didn’t exist. As if he wouldn’t be killing them later.

You both danced and danced, a spotlight on you both. At least that’s how you remembered it in your head.

And that happiness was all ripped away when the workers stared you in the eyes as they held the axe. Alastair’s head on the ground, his eyes that once looked at you with such love and adoration now looking at you dark and empty.

You knew it was a bad idea, the murdering. You told him that it was, he just ignored your words and did it anyways.

The nightmare seemed to never end as it went on and on, the exact events of you screaming and crying as they dragged you away from his body, you trying to go back. It was no use.

Alastair walked through the door, he didn’t expect you to be up but he didn’t expect to see you moving and whimpering in your sleep, words coming out of your mouth as whimpers.

His frown deepened as he stared, sighing and sitting on the bed.

He grabbed your shoulder, and you gasped as you woke up, looking around the room and your eyes landing on him. You sat up and stared at him for a little.

“Same nightmare?” He asked in the softest tone he could possibly have, which was still pretty deep.

You nodded, tears in your eyes as you looked at the man in front of you, wishing you could just cry into his shoulder, or kiss him just one more time.

He sighed again, looking at you again. He reached out a hand and he touched your face softly. The feeling was cold, and it felt odd but it was the most you could get.

He caressed your cheek, thumb going over your lips and he glanced down at them for a moment.

“I just wanna-“ you croaked out, now fully crying. You leaned into his touch.

“I just wanna touch you again. I miss you. So much.” You sobbed out, and you hid your face in your knees. He took his hand back.

“It’s okay. I’m here, aren’t I?” He sat next to you now, you turned your head and looked at him.

“Yeah but… it’s not the same.” You sniffled.

“I’m still me. I love you, okay? It’s been hard for me too.” He said, and for a moment you saw a flash of the old him, before he was dead.

You laughed quietly and wiped the tears from your eyes.

“I love you too.”

“You can always join me.” He said. You couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not.

[pinkarsonist0]

I'm watching the Craig of The Creek movie rn, and oh my God, MY SCOUT BABIES IT'S THEM.

Spoilers for Craig Before The Creek below:

WHOSE THAT GURL WITH THEM IS SHE LIKE LIKE AN OLDER SISTER/MENTOR TO THEM. OKAY, SO SHE'S CLEARLY A FELLOW SCOUT AND WOULD BE LIKE A MENTOR TOWARDS THEM.

Based on how Boris held her hand and the way Jason smiled at her comment towards getting the friend group name correct, that could be to imply they were rather close to her. Especially Boris. I doubt they're related by blood or law. However, I do think they had a big sister bond with her when they became scouts. According to Google, you can be a scout as young as kindergarten to 5th grade, and the oldest you can be a scout is 18.

My headcanon is that she is the reason why the scouts started going to the creek, and she would show them around it and guide them, I get a very strong older sister vibe from her. Much like Mari from Omori, let's hope she didn't play the piano...

I don't know how many years the movie takes place before the movie (at least not yet). However, I stirred up some guesses. Jason seems to be 10-11 in the show like Craig, so based on how young the scouts look, my guess will have to be that they are 6-7 years old (possibly 8 years old for Boris). So, 3-4 years before the show.

Imo, Jason seems to be happier in that scene, and in my opinion, Jason in the show isn't a very happy child if we exclude certain scenes. So, assuming the theory that Jason's mother is dead is true, we can assume the movie takes place before the tragedy.

In conclusion, this is what I stirred up for Jason (after the movie and before the show): I still have my headcanon that Jason's mother cheated on Jason's father, rooting their divorce. Jason's clearly upset by this as he begins seeing his mother a less, and his father is growing distant. However, he still had the girl we see in the movie for guidance and comfort. I do think that Jason was still pretty lonely in his childhood, so when his parents weren't around, he had her to act as an older sister for him.

But then, tragedy strikes, and Jason's mother is dead. Life begins to suck more for Jason, he now lives with just his dad and now he's straight up ignoring him and only remembers he exists in order to brag about Jason's achievements as a Forest Scout and to top it off he drags in Jason's step mother. And she clearly doesn't like him as much.

But at least he still has-

Oh, she's leaving too.

Jason's sister figure ages out of being a scout and leaves, leaving him to handle his new home situation.

I still think that Boris and the girl were the closest to each other and meant the most to each other. I think she loved them like little brothers and she loved showing around the new Forest Scouts and showing them the ropes. But Jason, Boris, and Tony stuck out to her THE MOST. She acted as an older sister to the younger scouts and maybe even stood up for them when the fellow older scouts were teasing them. She loved the scouts like little brothers, but time caught up with her, and she could no longer be a scout.

I love overanalyzing so much, you have no idea. I missed my scouts so much but now that they're back I can do SO MUCH WITH THEM NOW AHH

Also, do not think I didn't see the girl and (present) Tony having similar hats. Imma just go crazy with that and make the headcanon that she gave Tony that hat when she left. (I know her hat is a little different, but let me have fun).

And another thing, maybe she's the camp counselor we see in Camper On The Run. They have a lot of physical similarities, I need to see the episode again after watching the movie.

Edit:Just got done watching the movie, and the credits confirm that girl is the woman we see looking for Roxy in Camper On The Run and that she was indeed a fellow scout. Shannon is credited as Shannon the Scout rather than just Shannon. So, this could be a lead for my theory/headcanon being true. Someone on the COTC subreddit said that in the movie, Kelsey says she is in the second grade, and she is 9 in the show, so that would mean that the movie takes place 2 years before the show.

Now, let's get back to Shannon with this new information. The youngest to become a camp counselor is 16 and when I googled the age you can no longer be a scout I got multiple answers, but the most common one is 18. So we are safe to assume that Shannon left at 17-18 aka the estimate for when a Junior Forest Scout can no longer be a scout. I assume Shannon is 15-16 at the time of the movie and left at 17-18. So we can assume Shannon is probably 18-20 at the time of Camper On The Run.

Since she went to the creek, I wonder if she got to see Boris, Tony, and Jason again briefly. I NEED SOMEONE TO WRITE A FIC WITH ALL THEM PLEASE.

[anonymous-dentist]

can u do something about richas #1 island cupid and his matchmaking shennanagins im in need of something sweet

I’m coping okay pretend he’s around for the Women rn

-

Richarlyson takes after his Pai Cellbit in a lot of ways: his love of coffee, his love of investigating, his love of slaughtering innocent villagers and watching the life bleed out of their scared, terrified eyes. But maybe the most impressive similarity is something that not even Pai Cellbit knows about.

Richarlyson looks up at his cork board, and he taps his chin, and he ponders.

His board is a lot like his dad’s. It’s got the red string and everything, but where his dad uses real photos of people, Richarlyson uses drawings. It’s all hidden beneath a wall of paintings in his room at N.I.N.H.O., and not even his Pai Forever knows about it.

But it isn’t about mysteries, no. It’s about love.

Today’s object of investigation is the new lady, Mãe Bagi, who he’s spoken to a total of four times since her arrival. She’s nice, but she’s lonely, and Richarlyson remembers when his Pai Cellbit was lonely and how he stopped being lonely when he met Pa Roier. But Mãe Bagi only seems interested in one person, Melissa, who Richarlyson is pretty sure is actually his Pa Roier’s superhero alter ego, so that won’t work. That won’t work at all.

But next to Mãe Bagi on the board is a drawing of Tia Tina, who Richarlyson saw pining dramatically from a distance every time Mãe Bagi did anything. And, meanwhile, Mãe Bagi doesn’t seem to know that poor Tia Tina exists because Tia Tina is too nervous and awestruck to even approach her. But not for long!

There’s a little red string connecting the two drawings. Richarlyson has got this.

Operation: Moms, begin!

[ioannemos]

i've been adding 'ugh' to a lot of my personal posts lately and it's frustrating me not just bc i'm trying to be more positive to myself (no really i am! i promise!) but also bc. well. i know why i'm still struggling with negativity. and it sucks

as i've been changing and growing i haven't felt like i'm "finding myself" (whatever that means) or discovering cool new things or putting out new leaves or anything positive or fun or even that interesting. it's felt more like i'm excavating a building that's been buried for decades or maybe centuries and 99.9% of the time i'm the only one on the site

it's not a cool building or a pretty building, oh no, it's some kind of weird building that has random hallways and tiny windows and no floorplan that makes any sense to me and it is not in a hospitable environment, let me tell you!

EITHER

it's hot and dry and i'm getting bit by mosquitoes and there's sand in every crevice of my being and i'm mad at the dig and myself and everyone else on the planet and whoever built this building here of all places and also the building itself

OR

it's cold and wet and i can barely move in the mud that's up to my knees and i'm tired and lonely and it's getting dark and i just want to climb out and forget about this place and go do something, anything else other than excavating this building that, as far as i can tell, very few people in the entire world care about or even know exists

but the building is me. i'm the building. so i can't leave it. i'm stuck here until i die. so i've got to make the best of it, and i'm doing what i can to at least make the excavation more bearable, but it sucks! the building sucks and the location sucks and i suck as an excavator and i am so, so, so tired of excavating

and every. single. time. that i think i've made progress and can maybe stop for a while and just enjoy where i've come, i realize there's another layer. THERE'S ANOTHER FKING LAYER! the work just got harder and who knows what THIS layer will be like. but since it was built on top of a meandering building with no clear purpose or guideline or even straight line, that bodes nothing good for whatever the heck the mess it was built on top of will be

and i can usually figure out, eventually, why my thought patterns and my emotions and my fears are the way they are. i know why i'm scared of living alone. i know why it's hard for me to speak up for myself. i know why i struggle to fight the deep-seated belief that i'm terrible for needing literally anything, especially if i dare to ask for it

i can figure out, eventually, why this room is the way it is and why it's connected to that room via this narrow hallway. i can figure out why this room has no windows. why that particular room is in the middle of everything. why this is a supporting beam

but it sucks! and finding out why this a load-bearing beam tells me what i need to replace and usually what i need to replace it with, but not how. not who i can ask to help me replace it. not when i should do it or how to recognize a good time to do it. and sometimes i don't know what to replace it with, or what would be a good interim support until i do figure out what to replace it with permanently

bc i don't want to be scared the rest of my life. i don't want to try to conform to what i think the people around me might need or want from me. i don't know what i want out of life, what my calling might be, but i want something. or maybe right now i just want to want something. bc i don't have anything rn, any guide or plan or even a dream. except... maybe...

peace. i want peace. i want peace on my own terms, i want what makes me feel peaceful. i don't know what it looks like or how to get there, but i want to reach a place where i can sit down for a minute and catch my breath and not feel like i'm stealing time that could be spent better on literally anything else. i want to achieve peace

and like fk do i know how to get there

[dreamseekersans]

Dreamseeker Sans/aka 'Morpheus' Origin Lore

(Subject to change for now since I'm still setting up his lore and stuff rn)

His first memory was awakening in an empty world, shrouded in a pitch-black darkness, his cloak illuminating the space around him.

He sits there, for he does not know any better.

He sits there for an unknown amount of time, for he has no concept of it.

Then, some spheres around him that he previously hadn't noticed glow with bright colors, he sees colors twisting and turning, making strange noises.

He watches and listens, for he does not know any better. He watches, he sees figures that look sort of like him, talking with others.

----

Eventually, after some time, he begins to understand those sounds, it's language, it's words. He learns. He learns that words have meaning, and so do gestures. He learns to get up and walk around. He learns that the figure that looks like him is a skeleton named Sans, or so he assumes, from the gestures of it all. He doesn't quite understand the full sentences yet, but he's certain that the skeleton is named Sans.

This means that he, too, is a skeleton, or so he would like to believe.

----

The first sentence he fully comprehends is ironically one that he doesn't quite understand.

"This is a dream."

The screen goes pitch black, as they always do eventually -- some earlier than others -- but they would also always come back.

Always.

He waited.

----

They came back. He sat down, listening once again. He always does, for he does not know any better.

He learns more, he can comprehend sentences now.

Many screens held skeletons claiming to be Sans, others had skeletons claiming to be Papyrus. Are all skeletons named Papyrus or Sans?

If so, which one was he? Who was he?

----

He began practicing speaking himself. He wanted to speak and communicate like them too.

Sometimes, he would pretend he was also part of a world in amongst one of the many, many screens littering the dark realm. He pretended he could speak amongst them, laughing and joking with them.

It was...fun? That sounded right.

But the screens would always eventually turn off, leaving him in the dark, his cloak illuminating the space around him, only further reminding him of the vast darkness around.

What was this feeling? He didn't know the word for it, for he did not know any better.

----

Sometimes, a screen would flicker out, and never come back.

Sometimes, a new screen would appear.

He didn't know why-- it just happened.

Nonetheless, he watched, listened, learned, and talked. For he did not know any better.

----

Sometimes, a screen he passed by would be filled with loud...laughter? He didn't feel like that was quite the correct word. Sans would always have that same smile on his face. He was in a battle with the human.

It looked pretty action-intensive, but Sans would always look so cool. It felt...exhilarating watching him (was he using these words correctly? He wished he could ask Sans, maybe he would know).

Sometimes, Sans would lose, and some red stuff would fall out of him. He didn't know what it was, was that paint? He tried asking once, but Sans didn't respond. No one responded when he spoke, after all. The screen would usually become pitch-dark after that.

Sometimes, Sans would win. And sometimes, when Sans won, his smile would disappear, and he would say that same sentence before the screen cut to darkness.

"This is a dream."

He still didn't understand what that meant. He was starting to dislike it though, it would always bring another space of darkness to his world, leaving him to find another screen to watch.

What is a dream?

----

Loneliness. That was the word.

He could see everyone, he could hear everyone.

He was always watching and listening. And if he tried hard enough, he could pretend he was part of it all.

Pretend. That's the most he could do.

It was an awfully lonely existence.

He was starting to know better, and he didn't know if he liked that or not. Uncertainty filled him.

----

The more he looked at the screens, the more he understood some semblance of the concept of time they spoke about occasionally.

And the wait for the screens to come back felt longer and longer each time they disappeared.

That loneliness he learned about began to grow and fester within him. He wished he never learned about it, that he never learned what he was.

He wasn't Sans, he wasn't Papyrus.

He was lonely.

----

It was yet another iteration of him watching the screens play out the events of different worlds. He'd never tried this before, and he didn't know what compelled him to do so. He just knew he felt a strange urge to do something, anything. He's seen, he's heard.

He wanted to experience more. He wanted to taste what they ate, he wanted to feel what they felt, he wanted to touch the grass and look at the sky above-- just one time, please, please.

He reached towards a screen.

And it pulled him in.

----

(To be continued in the same post once I get more written down.)

[alritestoodeos]

Summarizing the OG timeline characters (badly) Pt. 1: Kenshi

So Kenshi is this really snotty guy who’s like “come here, let me kick your ass plzz” so he can prove he’s the toughest guy in town. Then Kenshi found this guy named Shang Ts- I mean… Song… This Song guy is like “Kenshi, me boy. You need yourself a killer sword, because you are super cool”, and Kenshi’s like “damn straight”. So Song and Kenshi went to this really big well, and Kenshi took the lid off of it and got blasted in the face by a bunch of souls, permanently blinding him. Song then revealed he was none other than the sorcerer Shang Tsung! DUN DUN DUNNNN!! And then Shang Tsung pushed Kenshi into the well after absorbing all the souls inside of it, making him strong and youthful again. Kenshi thought he’d be left to die in there, when the sword (that actually existed wtf??) that Shang Tsung had told Kenshi about went into Kenshi’s hand, giving him an artificial sight of sorts. The reason this sword (whose name is 戦闘 which I find adorable that it just has a name) is able to do this is that it belonged to a long line of warriors who all just so happened to be ancestors of Kenshi. Those ancestors were all also tricked by Shang Tsung’s trap, dying in the well, which is why there were so many souls.

Then Kenshi was like “ok boys we’re getting our revenge” and spent the next decade relearning how to see and fight, greatly humbling himself along the way. Word got around of this badass blind Earthrealmer swordsman who can use this magic sword and even move things with his mind a little bit, which catches the attention of Sonya and Jax, and they’re like “hey. Come join the OWIA (Outworld Investigation Agency, super lame) so you can look around in Outworld”, and Kenshi is like “hell yea”. He was then given the order to find Cyrax, whose tracker had been taken off the map. While he never found Cyrax, he did find Ermac, this amalgamation of 100s of souls, all having a mid-life crisis. Kenshi thought they were super cool and was like “hey what’s wrong bud?”, and Ermac’s like “Our one order in this life doesn’t exist anymore, so we aren’t really vibing rn”, and Kenshi’s like “well what if it wasn’t?”, and Ermac’s like “oh shit tru. Thanks. Here, let us teach you how to piledrive people into the ground with your  m i n d .” And so they did, and Kenshi now knew how to telekinetically slam people. Then Kenshi was like “yoooo OWIA I didn’t find Cyrax but I did find this person with green hair and pronouns”, but they didn’t respond, because they got fucking bombed by the Red Dragon. On the topic of the Red Dragon, the Deadly Alliance (one of which in this alliance is Kenshi’s sworn enemy), sent Mavado to go kill Kenshi, and nearly did so, but was like “yOu ArEn’T eVeN wOrTh ThE kIlL”, and walked away thinking he was cool.

As Kenshi lay, dying, a figure formed in the distance. It was Kuai Liang, the current Sub-Zero. Kuai carried Kenshi back to his Outworld cabin and nursed him back to health. Kenshi appreciated his generosity, and the two became actual besties. Suddenly, Kenshi felt his sword grow 10x in power. He’s like “dude dafuq-”, and Sub-Zero’s like “Oh yeah so there’s this dude named Onaga and- whatever there isn’t time for that. Anyways I’m pretty sure Onaga just killed Shang Tsung and all your ancestors just went back into your sword”. And Kenshi was happy, because his ancestors were back to being free, and his quest was over. He was happy. At least he felt like he should’ve been. But, he wasn’t. Kenshi felt… empty. Like this was what he devoted all of his life to, and now it’s just gone. He began to understand how Ermac felt, how awful it must’ve been for them when they realized everything they were meant to do, was just destroyed. Kenshi needed time to understand what he wanted in his life and disbanded from OWIA, and unaligned with the Lin Kuei, but promised both he’d still be an ally. He then left them both, becoming a lone warrior, in search of something to fill the hole that had been created within him. (angst rant go brr) Anywayyys Kenshi became Batman pretty much, hunting down the corrupted in the night, taking out criminal organizations. He also intercepts a transmission from the Red Dragon to Mavado, the man who nearly killed him, to kill the demigod Taven. Before Kenshi can do anything about Mavado’s mission, he gets a little tap on the shoulder from Johnny Cage, who’s like “dude XD 💀 so-so get this- 💀 there are these evil dudes like Onaga, Quan Chi, Shang Tsung, and Shao Kahn who are all, like 🤣 going to try to kill Blaze or some shit, and like, I was wondering if you- hold on a sec 💀… I was wondering if you wanted to join this team I’m making that has Sub-Zero, Ermac, and a whole bunch of other wacky characters to take them out”, and Kenshi’s like “were you audibly saying skull emoji- wait- SHANG TSUNG!?!” so Kenshi joined Johnny Cage in the Forces of Light. When Kenshi arrives at the pyramid, he takes out Sheeva and Quan Chi, and sees Ermac, and is like “dude this is a massacre out here what the hell is–” and before he could finish, he is telekinetically slammed into the ground by Ermac, who’s foot is planted into Kenshi’s chest, revealing his identity to really be Shang Tsung in the form of Ermac, before Shang Tsung casts his arm out to Kenshi, muttering “your soul is mine”, driving out the life force of Kenshi, now ultimately failing the quest he’s tried his whole life to complete.

If there's any other character's you want explained like this (from the og timeline only sorry), reply which you'd want!

[baldurs-gate-official]

Posting an update cuz I've gotten some very sweet supportive messages and some of you seemed interested in hearing how it goes

Officially free from my abusers 😎 After failing to get away several times, I've spent the last two years biding my time and making sure I never have to go back and it's paid off. So yeah. I'm free and very happy. And I've ensured this will continue to be the case.

Putting a read more. But this is currently what's up

CW: Abuse, PTSD, Starvation, Torture

Rn I'm focusing on finally getting medical care for some of what happened. I need to relearn how to eat because it's been over a decade of very limited food access and I can't tell how much I'm supposed to eat/when I'm supposed to stop eating. Never expected there to be a learning curve for eating but here we are. I might need to have some bones re-broken, which I'm not looking forward to. But it's a relief to have something done about it finally. Part of the torture I went through involved having my bones broken repeatedly :') So they're a little messed up.

It's still so hard to believe it's over. I know once I accept that, I'll have to process everything that happened and that'll be rough, but when it's over, I'm gonna be so happy. I mean, I'm already pretty happy. I can eat whenever I want. Eating felt like a luxury/privilege before and now it's just...a Thing I can do whenever. And I can leave my room whenever I want. Or go outside. I can make noise. And sleep. Well, sleeps a little tricky. But I don't have to worry about someone hurting me when I'm asleep now. Admittedly, I still get scared of falling asleep, but once I'm out I'm good. It's just... a lot. It doesn't feel real yet.

It's wild to me that people just...have this. It's a thing people get to have their whole lives. being able to just exist and do things like sleep and eat. And I get to have that now too??? I could explode, I'm so excited. I've literally dreamt about this my whole life.

Anyway. If you're also being abused or neglected and need someone to talk to/advice, please shoot me a message. If I can get someone out of their own shitty situations, I will. Or if you even just want someone to talk to so you feel less alone. I know how lonely trauma can be.

I'm going to shut up now. But yeah. Ty to everyone that left kind messages. I'm going to go grab a popsicle or something now. cya

[yongislong]

"dont let you make YOU feel inferior!!!"

trueee ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ rn i would say there's actually like no "bad person" in my life, maybe rude clients once in a while, but my coworkers, family and friends are nice to me. even if i know that person won't be a good influence to me, i wont hesitate to completely cut ties with them. once i decide in my mind this person is irrelevant to me, they cease to exist. i keep my circle very small and i won't allow anyone to mess with my mind and heart, so im actually quite protected & sheltered...however, my biggest enemy is really ME..😔 and i cant really cut ties with this person unless.. 😭😭 no one really gives me pressure as much as myself. 20+ years in my life im still learning to accept this person 😔

but your fic was really eye-opening to me, it's like you know me better than myself ㅠ you you'd be such a good advisor my dear vic ㅠㅠ♡♡♡♡♡

honestly i've been having a pretty hard time too, even worse than when i wrote that originally ㅠㅠ i try and keep my circle of friends close but im fighting with my best friend of 6 years now and idk what to do.

i know exactly how you feel. i trusted people and they have used it against me but i think its a beautiful thing that only you will be able to know yourself so vulnerably. sometimes you don't need to share everything with everyone and sometimes people are going to make you feel bad about sharing your feelings, making it about themselves. but once you find a love that allows you to be yourself fully without a shadow of a doubt that this person is not going to use it against you or ever make you feel like you cant talk to them, its gonna be so valuable! im pretty bad at cutting ties so im pretty jealous of you in that sense ㅠ haha because i think thats what gets me in trouble. i care too much so im always lonely. i like to forgive and forget on my own time which is probably not good LOL! ㅠ

i feel like everybody's biggest enemy is themselves! the idea that you have to live with yourself forever is a weird pill to swallow. sometimes its hard to accept and sometimes its easy to be content with yourself but thats totally normal. i think its hard to fully accept yourself and the fact that you are so self aware is honestly very mature. a lot of people older than us have never been able to do that or have never been faced with situations that require them to think about the type of person they are.

this was kinda dark LMAOOO ㅠ but im really glad my fic was able to help or make you look at love and the world differently! i always read back on it when i need a little comforting as well. i guess advisor is pretty close to an english teacher, no? hopefully my students liike me ㅋㅋ

more wise words from vic ㅋㅋㅋ

[mcwentfandomtraveling]

:O

Not important stuff below

Just feeling lonely so I'm gonna dump whatever's on my mind

So my sister is super busy and I miss her 😢

We have a few fictional worlds we made just the two of us...and characters for thoes worlds...

We've had this as a special thing for just us since we could talk...(identical twins btw)

And recently (in the last 1-2 years) we decided to make a bookkeeper universe to look after our fictional worlds when we're too busy XD

Because why the hell not XD

And the bookkeeper universe has characters of its own!

And a few weeks ago I got us both stuff that reminded us of our bookkeeper universe (dolls, plushes, all sorts of stuff) and I just found out that I accidentally spent all the money I had on toys by accident 👉👈

Good thing I got some money today (about 300$ because SHIT would've been awful)

Anyways...now I gotta be mature and not a toddler with a credit card and cut back on the spending...

BUT I have enough to get my sister one more toy because I really wanna and I'm going to do one last farewell shopping spree to end my toy shopping every other week and save that toy for her birthday so we can have fun in the summer when we have more time together! XD

Anyways lemme tell you my characters in mine and my sister's bookkeeper universe!

I have four! (Plus three but not important atm I may or may not return to that)

Basically all kinds of fantasy creatures exist in this universe...Fae, High Fae, Fairies, Elves, Yokai, Mermaids, Mermen, ect ect!

And there are different types of each creature too like for example High Fae :

High Fae of Fauna

High Fae of Light Magic

High Fae of Dark Magic

Or just some magical concepts like :

High Fae of Fire Magic

High Fae of Healing Magic

High Fae of Electric Magic

Ect ect

Same concept applies to different fantasy races like :

Yuki Ona and Kitsune hybrid Yokai

Lamia and Dragon Yokai

Pretty much you can fuse anything you see it if you want and anyone can learn magic

And everyone has a job they're destined for in this universe...

My characters are :

Nixie (still thinking up a full name for her) she is a simple Fairy of life magic and binds the souls of each of the ocs representing me most to eachother as a way to balance eachother's happiness, luck, and unseen stuff like that...she has a girlfriend who is another character of mine! Nyfane a half mermaid half dragon character that works as a veterinarian to magical and non magical creatures! And they're both really cute together! (Got a doll that reminds me of Nyfane!)

Then I have my other characters! Nyfane's mentor Emperiven who is a High Fae of Healing magic and mostly treats people but can also treat animals...

Emperiven makes sure no one dies both in the bookkeeper universe and the other universes! ^-^

Then Emperiven's lover is a High Fae of Fauna named Lyalli! She owns the place where all these characters live! Called the Keltoron cottage castle inn! It's a castle with a a cottage esthetic! ><

Lyalli let's anyone weary from traveling stay at it like an inn! ><

Lyalli can also transform into a swan! :D

And Nixie, Nyfane, and Emperiven just kinda ended up staying!

Emperiven decided to stay because the forest is a little long and treacherous to get lost in and incase anyone needed medical attention upon arrival...he also ended up falling in love with Lyalli! <3

Nixie and Nyfane ended up falling in love with the place and Lyalli just let them stay! (On top of doing thier actual jobs they also help out by working as employees of the inn!)

The technically three other characters are Emperiven's three other brothers...but I'm not quite finished workshopping them yet...

One is named Eion though...he's the youngest and a cinnamonroll...

Anyways...that's some of what's on my mind

Geez I miss my sister...

I ended up getting her a bunch of her favorite shiny pokemon to give her in Scarlet and Violett too!

I guess other then missing my sister...

My heart can't decide what fandom I'm obsessed with rn XD

Like there's this cool Ikevamp and Piofiore crossover I wanna write...but also I started One Piece and wanna simp over my newest addition to my husband collection! ><

And Glorfindel has been siren song-ing me when I'm sad to come read fics about him...

My mind is EVERYWHERE rn

And I'm lonely

Sending hugs...anyways thanks for letting me rant 😅