#and it didn't help that Nikolai seemed to have skimped on telling Luka about Danny

[tellingscarystories]

no. 51

golden sky // 42/500

“Danny,” Nikolai couldn’t help the upward lift of surprise that came out with the name. The sun was only just clearing the horizon, casting a soft golden glow across the sky. And he was getting up to go to work, which was long before Danny was usually up.

The Italian froze, one hand still on his door, the puppies eagerly looking up at him. He looked startled to find Nikolai still home. “Hi.” After a beat, he ushered the puppies out of the doorway and finally pulled the door to his room shut. Instead of drawing closer, or heading toward the kitchen, he stayed where he was, hands tugging at the hem of his sweater. “I thought you’d gone to work already.”

“No. I’m going soon, though,” Nikolai said slowly. He felt... wrong, just standing there in the open space. But Danny still wasn’t moving, and something about trying to go about the rest of his routine like this felt more wrong than standing there. Are we okay, he wanted to ask. But. Was there even a we? (‘We’ could mean friends, couldn’t it?) Did he have any right to ask that? (He felt off balance, with Danny so muted. Had he done something wrong?)

“I, ah, I'll take the puppies out, and get out of your way so you can finish getting ready,” Danny said at last, and the pups yipped excitedly, likely in response to hearing ‘out’ so early in the morning.

“You don’t have to,” Nikolai said quickly. (Maybe a little too quickly. But the words were already out.) “I usually brew some tea. You can sit with me? And I can make a light breakfast.”

For the first time in what felt like a long time, Danny didn’t answer immediately, his gaze ducked down to the puppies. (It had seemed like Danny had always jumped on the chance to have some company while eating. And he’d gone out of his way to have breakfast with Nikolai before..)

“I feel like I haven’t seen much of you recently,” Nikolai prodded--an echo of Danny’s own words from not so long ago.

He wasn’t oblivious to the fact that part of that was his fault. He’d gotten so wrapped up in having Luka back--even though they hadn’t really talked in depth yet, and were still skirting around any serious conversations--that he just, wasn’t home as much. But when he was, when Luka was around for Danny to get to know, and for the three of them to spend some time together, Danny felt distant. Withdrawn.

“I really should take them out,” Danny said quietly. He murmured softly to the pups in Italian, gesturing them in the direction of the front door.

“Danny,” Nikolai called before the Italian disappeared into the entryway. He waited until Danny looked over to him--made eye contact, brief though it was--to continue, “Dinner tonight? Just us?”

He didn’t like the way his stomach sank at Danny’s absent nod--didn’t like the way he felt, or the implication of the sensation that Danny might have been drifting out of his orbit. “Sure.”

Nikolai didn’t move until after he heard the door open and close, and even then, he could feel himself dragging.