#and it all started bc i made a comment abt how i dont want anymore harry potter merch for xmas

[futurewriter2000]

Second Chance

A/N: I don't know how this can end in a happy ending but... I'll try. I didn't even know how to start writing this request but I think I did fairly well and even better than I expected. I think I can do it better though but for now, I'll give you this. Short-ish and sweet. I tried to put everything into one fic.

REQUEST #14 (wattpad) @fredsdeath: HI!! I love all ur books especially the fred weasley book and uhm i was wondering if you could do my request abt how y/n pretends to have amnesia and not remember fred bc fred was her ex and broke her heart in their past relationship like happy emding or not its fine and this is just a suggestion its still okay if you dont do it tho :D

XX

They say that the first few months always feel like a true honeymoon and then the reality hits but it wasn't like that with you and Fred. It was different because the two of you were friends first before anything and that changed everything. You knew who he was, the good and the bad, as well as he did. The two of you had this undestructable bond, nothing in the world could break. It felt real, it felt true, it felt like a once in a life-time love and you believed that.

You did... until you didn't anymore.

There were moments of Fred acting ditant. Sometimes when you looked into his eyes, he wasn't there and when he smiled, it felt forced. You felt like you were too much for him so you took a step back as well, thinking that space was all that he needed. You were different than him however, you didn't want space, you needed reassurence that he is still the Fred that will hold your hands and kiss them randomly when the two of you are laughing or just sitting together. You believed that the Fred that walked down the hall, nagging you jokingly until you retorded a sarcastic comment back, pretending to be furious with him until he nagged you until you laughed- was still somehow there. You believed that the Fred who made your stomach cramp either from laughter or butterflies will appear soon. It's just a hard transitioning moment, now that the new headmistress is on. He's coming back... he's still Fred.

He wasn't though.

"What do you mean?" your eyes twitched and you couldn't figure out whether you were angry or sad. You kept looking at the ground, not knowing when your hands ripped themselves from his.

"It's not you, I swear, it's just-"

"It's you." you looked at him, your lip trembling but you refused to cry in front of him.

"It is..." he bit his lower lip. "I just don't think that this is it." he said and you refused to look at him. He forced a smile and swayed on his feet. "We can still be friends." he said, touching your shoulder playfully as if all of a sudden you will place a smile on your face, bright and jolly but you turned your head away, wiped the crocodile tear that fell from your eyes and looked at him.

"Who is she?" you said with a sharp cold tone.

"There isn't-"

"You never lied to me, Fred. Don't start now." you glared.

He looked at you and pursed his lips together. He looked away and you let out a laugh from disbelief.

"I had a feeling but I always refused to listen to it. You know why?" you paused. "Because my trust for you was bigger than my insecurities but you just made me believe I was going crazy for such a long time until you grew balls to tell me."

"I just kissed her once-"

"Oh-" you literally heard your heart break inside your chest.

"She KISSED ME-" he mumbled. "I swear, I didn't kiss her first, she just sort of leaned in and I pulled away and I didn't want to say anything, I swear because I thought it was nothing but she just sort of... I don't know... I couldn't stop thinking about it."

"So you want to slag around."

"NO!" he started to get frustrated, shaking his head. "I just- I'm lost right now. I don't know what I want."

"You want her."

"No-" he shook his head. "I don't know... maybe... I don't know."

"Fuck you." you said, slapping him hard on his cheek that it turned red immediatelly. "You just wasted fucking 8 months of my life." and with that you turned around.

----

It's been a long year now since then and you knew her name... not that you truly wanted it but you heard of a short fling between Fred and Angelina Jonson. She was another good friend of his and you wished you figured it out sooner but you haven't.

You've cried. You did. More than just one crocodile tear. You've made a mess from your room and your roommates didn't really mind. They've been patient and graceful with you. They've also been a good distraction from your emotions and you were glad you weren't when Fred made his great parting with fireworks in Hogwarts that year.

You've put yourself together since then. You did and you've heard he's been with that woman, another woman, a few other women and you didn't want to hear none of it. Your friends kept telling you about it, despite you didn't want to. You heard about his shop and all of other things.

Now... well, now you've had your own appartment, which was quite hard with the economy but you wanted your place since you were an early teen. And to think of it, getting an appartment was easier than getting a job that pays well on your education. But it did. You've worked in a small bussiness, grammar checking documents that came in and out. Something close to an accounting. It wasn't what you wanted but it was something.

You haven't seen Fred in a year and a half. He was still on your mind though. He was. It was as if he put a chip into you that keeps rewinding time back to when the two of you were in love.

What you hated more was that you did move on but somehow he was still following you everywhere you went. You didn't see him anywhere and you knew that was a good sign but you were always on the lookout. Close to his shop, you felt anxious and you thought it over what would happen if he came out now and see you. You didn't know. You didn't know anything. Your brain turned off like nothing.

But that never happened and so you were okay with moving on.

---

So how did you end up here?

How did he end up here?

The last thing you told him was that he should have fun with your replacement and he did... for a short time. It really infuriated him that you told him that but Angelina really wasn't the one either. He pushed it as far as he could but something didn't click with her. He didn't feel joy with her, he felt obligated to be with her but he grew tired of being with someone.

He told you he forgets people easily but why did seeing you hurt so much. It was like a sting into his heart- quick but short. He couldn't mumble a word when you stood there and there was no shine in your eyes, no glow on you as he remembered you. There was a smile but not as joyful.

You stood there... still beautiful.

He hated that. He hated that you were still beautiful- more than him... since always.

He turned his head away, not wanting to look at you anymore. He was furious- so darn furious. Why didn't anybody tell him about you?

"There she is!" Remus came over with his hands on your shoulders, gently and formally.

You smiled brightly at him because you adored him as a professor. He was the only professor who made a course feel important and interesting.

"She was my best student and she now works in a small company for accounting- a shame to waste your talents there."

Sirius, he stood up tall and mighty, almost king-like and you felt infatuated by his kingly presence. His eyes were cold blue but his look was warm and safe.

"Aren't you supposed to be in Azkaban or something?" you joked and he laughed.

"Been there, didn't like it much." he retorded back and a few of the group laugh. "She's been working for me too for a bit. Remus recommended her- just for a short time and she turned out to be trustworthy. I bet she went to Hogwarts with you."

Ginny ran to you into a hug immediately and smiled up to you... well not up anymore. She seemed taller than you by a few centimeters. The two of you always had a great friendship, despite Fred. She adored you and you adored her.

"I can't believe you're here!" she exclaimed and you laughed, hugging her tightly.

"Me neither. This man put me through hell."

"I did not." Sirius gasped.

"Don't leave him alone in this house for long ever again."

"We have so much to catch up!"

And you did. With the whole group. You did work with Sirius through Remus. You've never really met him personally, always through some Howlers, letters, some other secret forms of communication and he was always so arrogant through it. He had grumpy and sassy remarks and at first you were professional about it but through time you've had enough and returned the energy. It has mostly been with the documents you've been grammarly correcting. They had been reciepts from big, luxiourious wizard families and you could see in some of those reciepts which were on the bad side, which on the good and which were fleeding and unreliable.

You didn't know about the other participants except Remus, Tonks and Sirius. Soon you figured Moody was one as well when he trampled into your office, asking questions and now you've met others.

You've never been much of a leap of faith person but you've always had a strong urge to stand for fairness and justice. You've fired up when you had to, not knowing until you went to bed that night. Remus saw that in you and he knew that all you needed was a little push.

You've always been reliable and when you promised something, you didn't back out, even if you were extremely anxious. He knew you could never back out from this. A bit manipulating but well, that was the push.

You've looked at Moody with your mouth on the ground.

"Turn into Harry?" you looked at all the others, especially at Remus.

"You don't have to, if you don't want to." said Harry.

"No, it's not that." you laughed. "Couldn't we just turn Harry into some random Muggle and transport him?"

The others thought about it as it could be.

"No!" Moody shouted. "Would you think they'd just let some random Muggle with a stick in his boot let into the Ministry?" he growled at you, approaching you. "No- now dress up lil priss." and he shoved clothes at you.

You looked after him than walked to Harry. "Are you comfortable with this? Us... turning into you?"

He gave you a comforting smile. "Not really but a plan is a plan. My comfort is not really in question." he offered you a smile and you returned it, though you felt a bit sad for the boy, espeicially when others made awful comments about them.

What you didn't notice was the little peeps Fred was giving you when you undressed, easily unclasping your bra under your Harry shirt and throwing it in the corner.

George apperead in front of him as Harry, giving him a grin meanwhile Fred just put his glassess on and pretended not to look.

"You're with me little priss." one of the Harry's told you and winked at you.

As you walked behind fake Harry, you passed what you thought was Fred and he called out your name. "Hey, (Y/n)."

You turned around. "What?"

"Stay safe."

You looked at him and nodded, turning back to the fake Harry, feeling your heart beating fast. Not because of Fred... this was pure fear.

---

Fred just turned back into himself, laughing with his father about the trip when Ginny told him about George. He was running into the living room, finding his best friend bloody on the couch.

"Shit, George." he came to his side.

"I'm howy." George whispered.

"What George?" Fred leaned in worriedly.

"I said..." George took a breath. "I'm holy now Fred."

Fred rolled his eyes and laughed from all the relief. "Only you can crack a joke about a blown up ear."

He looked up, smiling joyfully when the others smiled back, hugging him and George. It wasn't until two were missing. He looked around again. "Where are Tonks and (y/n)?" he asked but the others looked around and nobody was around.

"Remus is waiting for them, I'll go out and check." said Arthur but just as he was about to head out the door, Remus came rushing the door with you in his arms. His shirt was soaked in your blood, Tonks' hands as well.

"MOVE!" shouted Remus as Arthur cleared the table so that Remus could place you there gently.

"It came out of nowhere- I don't know who is was but she was blown off our broom and fell hard on the woods. She hit her head pretty hard." Tonks spoke quickly, like your life depended on it.

Ginny and Molly were right by your side, Remus as well. Fred just watched with his eyes wide open. Everything was gone, all the anger, all of it, out of his system. There was no room for anger, only regret and sadness.

"(y/n)- come on little priss, you have to wake up." Remus slapped your cheeks gently.

It was so sudden. You laid there calmly and like you were awaken from the dead, you jumped up and took a deep breath in.

"Where am I?!" you looked around, feeling your head pounding but everything was extremely bloody.

You heard voices around you but none of them were clear.

"You're safe-" you looked around but you recognised that voice anywhere.

"Professor Lupin? Where's Madam Pince my head is-" you were just about to say something when you started choking on your own blood.

Fred fell on the floor, just by George when he saw the sight.

Arthur saw the terror in Fred's eyes and shouted at the other. "GET HIM OUT OF HERE! ALL OF YOU OUT!"

---

Fred had a whole review of your life together back in Hogwarts. Everything turned back- everything. The small things, the big things and he realised that not once did the two of you had a bad memory together. Not one but until he broke things off.

He was pacing up and down outside the living room. Ginny kept trying to calm him down but he was not consolable. Not until you were completely alright. Not until he comes back and you're breathing and smiling at him.

Finally Arthur came to Fred, only to Fred because he knew of their past together. His expression was grim but it wasn't something Fred could read at the moment. He had you in perfect image. Since always.

"How is she?!" he quickly asked and everybody stood up and listened as well.

"She's living and breathing." he said, putting his hand on Fred's shoulder. "Remus is great at taking care of people, so she's resting with George... however... she kept recalling back a few years..." he looked up worriedly. "She kept asking for Dumbledore and... McGonagall..." he continued. "Remus says it could be shock or some short amnesia."

"What does that mean, dad?" Fred asked but his father only looked away. "Dad!"

"I don't know really... only time will tell when she wakes up."

Fred burst through the door and found his two favorite people laying on the couch. It was odd sight becuase you were there moving your lips and looking at your roommate, fist bumping him.

"Samesiess." George shouted weakley. "I've always wanted a girl roommate."

"Ew." you said, laughing.

"Not like that- Merlin." George said. "If moving my eyes wouldn't hurt I'd roll my eyes right now."

"If I could have the strenght to move my hands I'd show you the middle finger."you replied and could hear him laugh, caughing.

Fred smiled from relief and walked confidently into the room. "Hey, you two are on bed rest, stop talking and laughing." he said, sitting at George's side first. He looked at you and you looked at him.

"George?" you said worriedly. "I didn't know you had a sibling?"

"I have eight of them... or seven... six... I really don't know..."

"I didn't know you had one that looks exactly like you." you furrowed your eyebrows and it was only for a joke. You've always wanted to play a joke but something in Fred's eyes.

Something in his eyes made him come towards you and look at you with the same look he did all those years. The same eyes that you prayed for such a long time ago.

"You don't remember me?" he asked.

And you haven't got any clue why you turned your head and mumbled no. You turned it away from him because you felt something hurt inside of you so much by having him looking at you so close. Your heart was tearing up inside of you all over again and you wished, you prayed, you said you never met him because that was what you truly wanted. You wanted that he never existed in your brain because it just... hurts so much.

"Please leave me alone." you said and kept shutting your eyes.

Fred backed away, terror in his eyes, his heart, rage? Perhaps shock- something was in his chest, burning up his throat. He didn't hear the pain in your throat or the tears that fell from your eyes when you turned away. He couldn't function properly.

"Fred..." he heard George but he just stormed outside.

It was as if something was spinning in his head. It was so horrible.

Ginny came after him, calling out his name, asking what is wrong.

"WHAT'S WRONG?!" he turned around, a big forced smile of disbelief, almost wicked-like. "I ALMOST LOST TWO PEOPLE THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO ME! BESIDES THAT ONE LOST AN EAR, THE OTHER LOST A BLOODY MEMORY OF ME- OF OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP!!!"

Ginny stood there. Usually she would shout something back but she just let him yell.

"Ginny- she-" he started to break down, falling onto his knees and pulling his long legs into a hug.

Ginny walked to his side and hugged him around the shoulders. "It could be temporary... she's just in a shock."

"She remembers George."

"How do you know? She just talked to him like she woud with another person."

"She wouldn't talk to me like this..."

"She would." Ginny added and Fred looked at her, letting a laugh.

"Yeah... she would... she was unpredicatable like that." he said.

"Why did the two of you even break up?"

"I don't know really." Fred mumbled. "But I don't know if I can live through her not remembering us... you know?" he looked at Ginny, then laid his head on her shoulder. "We used to have so much fun... when we were together. She was so snarky and confident..."

"She's always so happy and has such a good heart." Ginny added.

"Yeah... she was perfect and... I really didn't know we would work so well together but I don't know... I thought she would be a fling and I wasn't ready to commit- she just... she deserved so much better than me, I always knew that."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... look at her and look at me." he lookd at Ginny.

"Fred, she looked at you as if you were the whole world for her, not because of your looks or it was because of your looks, I doubt that though but she didn't want anybody else. She wanted you." Ginny said and Fred looked at her.

"I don't know Ginny."

"You do know, Fred. You were the one who thought you didn't deserve her and with the way you were acting after the two of you broke up, just told me how much she hurt you." she continued without any filter. "And it wasn't that she hurt you... it was that you were furious that you fucked up a good thing."

Fred looked at his sister with a confused look. She didn't use that kind of language. "I don't know when you grew up so much, Ginny." he said and laid his head back on her shoulder. "But... if she forgot about us... and me... I don't know- she was the only person who really knew me and it was hard for her to trust me in the first place. When she did, it felt like I met the right person to feel safe with..."

"Like I said... we can hope that she does remember."

---

You and George were laying in the darkness, both resting. You were glad the whole thing was over, even though you almost couldn't have made it out alive.

"Do you really not remember Fred?" asked George.

There was silence but you looked to the darkness beside you where George was speaking from. "I wish I didn't." you said.

"Why did you tell him then you didn't?" he asked calmly.

You turned your head back to the dark ceiling. "I just... I actually don't know... it was a joke at first..."

"I gathered that but he just saw two of people he cared about almost die in front of his eyes so I believe him for not catching it."

"Then he just looked at me with those eyes... like that he cares and I just... I don't know I wanted to make sure if he does or not so I just said no."

There was a small laugh from the other side. "Did you get your answer?"

"Kind of." you shrugged.

"(y/N)." he said in a serious tone. "He bloody loved you. You didn't know how he was when you weren't around. First he was furious, then he was frustrated when you didn't catch our fireworks, then he was melancholic for a while and all of a sudden he got an urge to go after every girl that walked into the shop- age appropriate to be clear." he stopped for a moment. "He cared, he really did- he didn't know how much he had lost until months later. Angelina couldn't compare to you. He wasn't as ambitious and happy as he was with you. He was absent and lost..."

There was a loud silence after that and you felt as if you have to say something in return. "I didn't know you could preform such long speeches."

You heard shuffling on the other side and suddenly something soft landed on your stomach. "Owww!"

"Shut up, we're both poor right now." he said and you laughed , throwing the pillow back.

---

George was awake and walking. He was just getting suited for the wedding when Fred was tying his bowtie. He walked into the living room and saw your space empty. He looked around and tried to find any traces of your disappearance.

It wasn't until he heard a grunt from the bathroom and you walked out, pinning something into your hair. "Hey Ginny this bandage is so unnecessary-" you looked up and he was staring at you as you stared back. His hands were at the untied bowtie and yours were stucking a flower somewhere where your bandage was loose around your head.

"You remember Ginny?" he asked and you kept looking at him.

You let your hands fall down to your side and you took a few steps forward. "I do." you said and grabbed his tie and started to throw it around into a bowtie.

"Do you remember me?" he asked softly as he looked down at you but you kept your eyes on his bowtie.

You were silent for a while and started to twist it around to stay on its place. "I can do it better." you said and untied it again.

He smiled at that. "A perfectionist, you remember that." he said and he could see a smile on your lips. "Please, (y/n)..." he said and placed his hands on top of yours.

You finally looked up and found his eyes in such pain. You didn't think eyes so joyful could look that tormented. "I remember you Fred." you smiled softly, then looked back at the bowtie. "Just like I remember how to tie a perfect bowtie." you smiled and fixed it on his collar.

He breathed out a long breath of relief. He saw your hands leave his bowtie and he immedately started to fix your bandage and hair flower. "You're beautiful today." he said as he continued to tuck in the last peaces of the bandage before going to the flower. "You're beautiful every day."

You continued to look up, his slick and gentle hands touching your scalp and spreading warmth, even the memories you forgot existed. "I'm sorry." you said and he raised an eyebrow. "I always knew who you were..." you said and his hands dropped, still holding the flower that was supposed to go into your hair.

"You did?"

"I did." you said. "You were so close and you were just- and it really hurt- you really hurt me." you said, looking into his eyes, knowing yours were filling themselves with tears. "It was the first time I saw you so close after such a long time and everything came back- and it hurt so much I wished to forget you." you said, avoiding his gaze.

He didn't say anything. To be honest, he wasn't furious or in shock. "You could have done worse, really..." he gave an awkward smile and you laughed. He put his hand back up to your head and started placing it into your hair.

You only observed and as you did so, his hand fell to your cheek and brushed it with his thumb. The two of you were looking at each other, felt like a whole century since the two of you were looking at each other like this... and it felt like yesterday.

Time truly is an illusion, isn't it.

"Please, give me a second chance." he said, leaning his forehead onto yours.

"Fred..." you sighed.

"I know it's a lot to ask but please- I promise, I won't run away again like I did last time." he said, pulling back and cupping your cheeks. "We're special. I know you know... I know we are... please..."

You smiled, closing your eyes and feeling all this warmth, safety and love over your body.

Hope.

There's nothing wrong with having hope.

There's nothing wrong with second chances.

You looked up at him. "Second chance then."

[dandeleon]

BONUS POST ABT MY ADIPOCERE & URAPOCERE AMVS BC I FEEL LIKE YAPPING 😋 HASHTAG AUTISM

-

hiiii first of all tysm for all the nice tags & comments on both of these it genuinely means the world 2 me ^_^🩷🩷🩷🩷yay

(theres some specific tags i talk abt & look at further at the bottom of this post ^_^)

-

ok first if u read the tags on my adipocere animation u remember i said ive had the idea 4 them since august Which is true

so heres some stuff ive made b4 i realized i could make my own amvs

-

this picture uve probably seen i drew it back in like october?? I think?????

i dont like this as much anymore i wanna redraw it someday maybe

BUT

did u know i made another one with urapocere ford 2 parallel that one

it was gonna be in the same post as the other one but i didn't like how it turned out sooo it got scrapped

-

theres also this i made in early december

i think i planned on posting this but i forgor lol

feel free 2 read it all bc it still stands & is like the basis for my animations lol

-

theres also this

which i made in ms like a day or 2 before starting my animation & ended up re-using it 2 make this part:

also heres some early parts of the adipocere one:

^ this one i was planning on using which is why its coloured and animated but then i realized it looked like ass so i redid it👍

^ early ver of the beginning (threres an extra frame in the walk cycle here i think? i dont think i kept the 7th one in lol)

^early ver of uras beginning

-

heres some specific frames i like too ^_^

i think the expressions in these turned out rlly good :) esp the ford one.. my only goal for that one was to make him look like he was having the absolute worst time of his life & i think i did pretty good on that front lol

i have more but i hit the image limit LOL

anyways to finish my yap sesh off heres the last part of both animations side by side bc they parallel eachother & i think its neat :)

(hi its leon from the future, i lied here ur only halfway through this post sorry)

actually im gonna come back to this on my laptop & add more stuff maybe

if the post ends here its either bc i forgot to remove this text or tumblr decided to post this for me while trying save as draft

-

heyyy im on my laptop now ^_^ and also wondering why i didnt do it on here on the first place bc this is where all my images for this are anyways lmao

anyways!

heres more frames n stuff that i like

(most of these r from the urapocere one because that one ended up being a lot more polished)

^ frame by frame of that one part towards the end

my favs of these 4 are first & last one esp the last one i really like how that one came out ough.. the hand ended up looking rlly good imo (im a sucker for nicely drawn hands)

some particular frames from the final part i like :]

some i like bc i think they came out nice some i like cause they look goofy w/o context

an adi one!!!!

this is just that one part w/o the bg & harsh lighting

OTHER ONES!!!!!!

1: bord from the begining clip i like (theres another one i like from the same clip ill see if i can find it in my sea of folders l8r)

2: from the part near the end. i think it ended up looking cute (which was unintentional but i still like it)

3: blizzard ford (blizzardless edition)

4: fidds! i like this one :) im also running out of things to say

ALMOST FORGOR 2 PUT THIS ONE from adi

this ones probably my fav part from the whole adi amv tbh i think it turned out nice

moar fiddleford

heres that other bord one i mentioned ^_^ idky i just like how this one ended up looking lol

-

EXTRA SECTION BC THIS TAG MADE ME POG SO HARD

I DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THAT BUT IT FITS SO WELL AUGHHHHH

thank u person who added this tag ur going unamed bc i dont wanna put u on blast but ur tags on both posts made me smiles so big like. u get it🤝 u get what i was going for 🤝🤝🙏🙏🙏

i have more tags from these posts i wanted 2 add but apparently i hit the image limit :( sad

so im just gonna like vaguely mention them since i cant add images

another thing ppl tagged in the ura one was the yellow text changing the meaning to bill & i NEED u to know that was semi-unintentional. i literally just made the text yellow at the end so people didnt misinterpret that as ford saying it being like "thank GOD fiddlefart died i couldnt stand his ass lmao😂🙏" but thank you for making it look like i had a cool meaning behind it LOL. i think the concept of like it being something ford DID say about fiddleford when he quit the project & bill is repeating it back to him after finding fiddleford dead to torment him is a really cool idea actually waow.....

hold on im gonna be really normal abt that bc i think thats such a interesting way to interpret the lyrics.... like fiddleford left & ford was like "WHATEVER im finally free now without HIM around. hes gonna be looking at me enviously when IM the one with MY name and MY name ALONE on the nobel prize!!!!" & bill repeating those statements back when fiddleford is dead like "this is what u wanted!!! u wanted this!! ur free now!!!!" UGHH THATS SO COOL AND OR FUCKED UP ACTUALLY thank u to the ppl who tagged that im taking this interpretation & running with it i genuinely think its so cool omgggg

like i said in the tags of the urapocere post the lyrics were originally meant to fit fords warped view of fiddleford right after he quit the project but the mv leaves it kinda up to interpretation of whos saying what to who. my personal interpretation while making it was its kind of a mix of ford to fiddleford, ford to bill & bill to fiddleford and/or ford & literally any combination of those work i think tbh. choose ur own adventure who was the biggest hater there

also some tags on the adi one were interpreting where fidds was dragging ford to & i wanna say my personal vision of it was fiddleford kinda just finds fords body lying in the snow in the woods maybe (dont ask why fiddleford would be there.. idk cult things maybe..) and fiddlefords feels obligated to bring him back to the lab so he doesnt freeze to death (he wouldve just erased him & fords memory of it anyways) which is a bit ironic cuz fiddleford is the one who froze to death LMAO (and maybe ford did too idk... you decide)

another thing this goes back to that image towards the top of this post where i yapped abt the songs n how well they fit with fiddauthor & i wanna specifically talk abt the line talking abt icarus because??? oh my god????? literally i think that line alone is like half the reason i associate this song w/ fiddauthor so heavily bc its literally them??? fiddleford literally compares ford 2 icarus in j3 like... its too perfect..

that line alone is also the reason i added english captions to both of them i just wanted ppl to see the icarus line LMAO

another line i also mentioned in that pic was the one telling the other person to forget it all even their face & i think its pretty obvious why that one fits LOL

(feel free to add more thoughts abt them w/ these songs if u have any ^_^)

-

anyways. adipocere is my fav song ever & for the past few months ive been doing that thing where u imagine an amv in ur head to a song u like & im very happy i can like. actually look at them now. making these were alot of fun :]

i do have a LOT of personal nitpicks with these (ESP the first one) but that also might just be cause im the guy who had to make it frame by frame LOL

(one minor one is fords skintone in urapocere ended up a bit more grey than i wanted but also he is like. in the middle of being possessed & tortured by a whole ass demon soo. it works i suppose LOL [makes him look zombie-ish])

also i thought making these amvs would make me less insane abt associating these songs w/ fiddauthor but tbh i think i just strengthened it LMAO

Sorry if literally nothing in this post makes any sense im just typing shit 😭🙏

i was gonna add more in tags but it wont let me add anymore so i think that might be a sign to stfu now LMAO

[akechis-piano]

hey y'all know eurylochus is a character with an Arc right. just checking.

ok to preface this: i Know i should not let one tiktok comment get to me but in my defense 1) eurylochus is my blorbo and 2) i feel like a lot of people just. dont understand eurylochus as a character and the reasoning behind the choices he makes

so jay made a recent tiktok on eurylochus and the music surrounding him and i kinda realize people just. Dont Understand that eurylochus went through an arc during the ocean, circle, and thunder sagas

not gonna call out names bc i dont want to single out this person and bc i suspect its a more common thought but i saw someone comment "why was eurylochus so upset at ody for sacrifacing 6 men to circe when he was willing to leave the men at circe's palace?"

and that question really threw me off-guard because thought it was clear that eurylochus 1) has been going through an arc and 2) he was willing to leave the men behind at circe's palace not because he didn't care about them, but he was taking in account the rest of the crew

more under the cut i did not mean to rant this long but here we are lol

jay mentioned in his tiktok here that eurylochus instrument in epic is actually the voice of the crew (kinda like how penelope's instrument is the viola) and i think this is So Interesting because it shows in musical form how all of eurylochus's decisions and choices throughout the musicals are based around about how much he cares for the crew

i wanna make it clear. eurylochus DOES care from the crew. this is true all the way from the start up until his death. literally his first lines in the musical are him asking ody what his plans are for keeping the crew fed bc their food supplies is draining

the only thing that changes abt eurylochus in his approach in how he cares for the crew. lets take this line from "full speed ahead"

"I say we strike first, we don't have time to waste So let's raid the place and—"

now the annotation on genius describes eury as being "reckless" when id argue its more him being ruthless. he doesn't want the risk of any of the crew possibly getting hurt or killed and if they strike first then that means the possibility might goes down. now obviously thats not true here but eurylochus doesnt have future vision he cant predict the fact there would be cyclopes on the island.

one thing i also think gets glossed over way too much is "luck runs out" and its a shame because it basically spells out eurylochus's mentality. he Wants to trust in odysseus's judgement and wit, but they've already lost so many men that he doesnt want to take anymore risks

(also i want to talk abt trust in eurylochus and ody's relationship bc Hoo Boy that beginning part in puppeteer where eury is trying to confess to ody that he opened the wind bag gets glossed over WAY TOO MUCH but thats another post. the most passive aggressive and frustrated "ok" ive ever heard lemme tell ya-)

so when circe turns those crew members into pigs, he's willing to leave them. he's not happy about it but he's worried for the rest of his crew members. but then he Sees odysseus use his wit to save his crew and this changes his mindset. they were able to escape circe with no bloodshed and this makes eurylochus realize that actually ruthlessness isn't the only solution.

so then when the thunder saga comes around and odysseus doesn't think of a clever plan to ensure no one dies or least the causalities are minimized, but instead chooses to sacrifice his men?? he's blindsided. like i dont think people really grasp that odysseus Chose to sacrifice six of his men, one of them being eurylochus. he didn't think of a clever plan or even attempt to think of another and then was forced to realize there was no other choice, he just accepted and was fine with sacrificing six of his men.

and i see a lot of people villainize eurylochus's choice to mutiny but you need to try and see it from his perspective. he's trying to do his best to not lose any more men on this journey and seemingly his captain is on the same page as him until suddenly he's not. at this point in the story its clear that between odysseus and eurylochus only eury is focused on getting back home AND getting the crew back home too.

overall, i just find it kind of sad how many people just. dont acknowledge the fact that eurylochus is as much as dynamic character as odysseus. he goes through his own arc that is Clearly laid out during the sagas but. no one pays attention.

and it's Doubling frustration to see his character just get boiled down to "lol idiot who opened the wind bag" or "why would he betray ody??? >:[" bc he has Valid Reasons behind his actions!!

i could make So many more posts about eurylochus bc i feel like he gets done So Dirty by the fandom and i just cant stand for it any longer 😔

[haydenbites]

exposée Time!

i literally don’t know what to say but all i know is i should’ve listened to that anon when they told me that MARTIN was the one who had been harassing deerlottie at the time but anyway! exposing dorkytboy/dorkytboyagain/soggykittylottie/freakytravismartinez bc ur a weird ass bitch!

so i think i started talking to him like last year(?) in november or october and really he was the first to start talking to me in my asks box. At first i was like charmed by him but i wasn’t like in a relationship with him. when we eventually did start talking there was this whole honeymoon phase and yk im excited bc obvi it’s my first t4t relationship and first relationship since breaking up with a previous ex.

so nothing really happens blah blah blah until im made aware of his strong hatred for cnc and please dont start the bs in my comments idc if you like it or not that’s not my business. anyway! i found it weird how he would just randomly jump and ask me if i was into it and im like no because like i said idc abt it that much.

so first and obviously, hes hella immature and i could never be serious with him.. not even when we were breaking up.. it seemed that he would just not even try to tell me what was going on w him and i wasnt even gonna try to figure it out so obvi i returned that energy bc what!

here we can see one of the examples of him being odd for lit no reason like you’d think i did something for him to say this whole time it was unprovoked! again we will see another example of him being a weird ass bitch!

this is me ending a conversation that i had no interest in because i did not want to talk to him, and instead of me engaging in a conversation i didnt feel like having and then being an asshole, i decided to be the bigger person and just go to sleep before that happened. this is something that happened frequently before we broke up. i always had to be the one to end a conversation when it was becoming toxic because he was being weird and that energy was lit draining me and making me enter depressive states. and when i noticed this in my mind i already kinda decided i didnt wanna be with him anymore, so until I found the courage to break up with him, i was just cordial with him bc atp i didnt have anything to say to him.

at some point when we were starting to get really toxic, he went on some odd ass travnat craze and it drove me nuts. before this we also had a really horrible and stupid argument because we were talking a little and i was abt to shower so i told him that and he asked me why do i shower everyday and im like.. bc ur supposed to like what and he’s like “hold dry skin” and so obviously im like it’s dirty not to shower everyday bc thats how i was raised and that my skin wasnt dry bc its not and i stay hydrated. then he turns around and says you should shower two/three days out of the whole week.. 😷🤢 bitch ur pussy is sour and ur ph is fucked up! anyway! and then i called him dirty and wtv wtv. throughout this whole time he was being so unserious. so then he was like u don’t start stinking after one day and he called me the r slur so im like “oh the slur…….” and he goes “the slur i can say oh….” and regardless its still weird for him to call me that and i called him out and he called me sensitive. so im like “so im sensitive bc i think its weird that u say slurs with negative historical connotations? just because you can slay a slur doesn't mean that you should.” then i said “i can say the n word bc im black but i dont because its a slur and it has a negative history” so obvi i gagged him but he still decided to keep going bc it wouldn’t be him if he didn’t get the last word. he continues to call me sensitive, saying things like how does this hurt me and he kept insulting me because he wants to say slurs.. right.. and then he tried to get me to see about the f slur and at the time i didn’t label myself as gay so i didn’t say it, and i didn’t wanna say it. after this i tried to end the conversation by saying “so obviously you're not going to stop saying slurs regardless so what are we even talking about like who r u feeling like” and ofc he sends a pic. i tried to end the convo but it kept dragging so i tried to leave and he kept talking. since that time he continued to say the r slur and make fun of me in a way bc i didnt like him saying that stuff around me.

so the conversations were like this and when i told him i wanted to break up with him he literally said “but travnat” while i was being serious. and that quite literally blew me out of the water so obviously i crashed out and he kept giving me bullshit responses and sending me pictures when before this i asked him to stop doing that when i was being serious bc it was very immature. i also questioned if he was actually the age he said he was because for an 18 year old he seems to not understand the concept of time and place and obviously is very immature. i explained to him that in normal relationships people dont just go from having very heated conversations to trying to be normal because it isn’t healthy and i just didn’t really like him anymore because him being so odd within the fandom i hyperfixated on for so long just turned me off. i don’t have exact screenshots but here’s basically a summary of what happened.

when we broke up i didnt immediately block him, which i now realize is a mistake. even though we were broken up now, he still tried to sext with me multiple times to the point where i tried to be nice to him about letting him know i didnt want that anymore but he kept saying sexual things to me and i literally had to beg him to stop. after even more arguments came about and him being even more weird to me, i finally grew a pair and blocked him. i saw him being miserable on the tl and i literally could care less because that’s what he gets. i regretted it at first because i felt so lonely but now i dont regret it at all! he deserves everything that’s happening to him rn because hes a bad person and hes immature as hell! every other time i saw him posting when i was using a friends acct he was still being weird and surprise surprise he’s racist and he sends ppl rape threats! 🥰 no wonder why he deactivated!

[uriekukistan]

I can’t believe u gave me a 2 😦 but real I’d say 2 too, I think that might be my baseline tbh, I’m scared of everyone 😭

But no yea I was also so intimidated of you at first and when we became mutuals I was like????¿¿¿ bc when I read Dancing With a Stranger it was just like everything to me u don’t understand. It’s like someone entered into my brain and looked at my memories and like created a fic of my blorbos made just for me. And like it renewed my feelings about dancing bc before reading it I just didn’t do it much anymore bc I had so many negative feelings attached to it (I think if you’re basing the fic off personal experience you might get what I mean :P). But bc of the fic I kinda associate it with more positive thoughts now (like getting itafushi together >:( ) (I am probably a little too obsessed over some 2D characters but oh well we are both on tumblr so)

But anyway it just started there but I love all your writing (even though it causes me literal pain sometimes but yknow 😓).

This got kinda long eh….. Pls don’t feel pressured to answer this ask if you don’t want to, I just wanna say how much I appreciate your work!

LIZ <33333

UR SO KIND TO ME I DONT DESERVE U FR

pls i was so intimidated when u started following me & interacting w my fics bc a) cool good artist and b) i had like just started writing and publishing fics again after like 5 years so i really wasnt expecting so much positive feedback, so i was all :&@/$:@2@/$/0:&/@@:@9$!???!&/@/“ when you showed up. genuinely i never expected such nice things to be said abt my work, and definitely with so much attention to everything 😭😭 i was kinda overwhelmed (in a good way!!) and a bit worried the rest of the fic (or any of my other fics) wouldn’t live up to all the praise you left in your first comment 😭😭😭😭😭😭 so yeah i was a bit intimidated bc of that skjskd but im glad i can feel comfortable talking with you now, i hope you can feel the same

anyway im so glad you’ve been enjoying my writing, i’ll keep doing my best to write decent things 🫡 your support really means so much to me, you’ll never know <3

(and yeah a lot of dancing with a stranger is from my experience, sksjks i ended up switching into hip hop because ballet left me with so many negative thoughts. but that fic is kinda one big rin lore drop if u read into it enough…)

[obsessed-yan]

a little vent ׂׂׂׂૢ་༘࿐

my "friend" (using quotes cuz honestly idk if i rlly consider him a friend anymore cuz of this coupled w past stuff thats happened) is being a total pos whiney asshole

what happened was, last week i noticed my debit card had transactions on it that i knew for a fact i didnt make. i contacted some1 from my bank to dispute the charges to get my money back; guy walked me thru it n i cancelled my card. few days later i seen a small amount refunded but knew it wasnt the full amount. friend n i had plans to go to target friday n maybe get smthn to eat, well bc of the stuff w my card i decided i just wanted to go into the bank n talk w someone irl so since i was off work early i asked if we cld go there first n hopefully get everything settled (he said ofc n i did for the most part, the charges started all the way back in april of 2023 which is wild to me that i didnt notice it until last week- i got part of my money back right away so thats good). after that we went to eat then to target (i wanted to go cuz of the cute honeypot i kept seeing on my tiktok fyp also got one ver of jungkooks album n a bts book anyway) i got very frustrated while we were at target so after i paid for my stuff there i was ready to go home.

then the next day at work one of my co-workers asked me how my date went n i said i didnt go on a date..? when i got home i msgd him n asked why said co-worker asked me that; it doesnt help that also that day 2 separate customers asked me abt my ex or made a comment abt how i shldntve broken up w my ex, its been almost 6 months get over it. why do u ppl care so much its none of ur business n also i got yelled at n cussed out by 2 other seperate customers but the date thing happened first n was the main thing that ruined my mood.

he said he thought it was one n asked her for advice. i said it wasnt it was just basically running errands n that i thought ive made it perfectly clear im not n nvr will be interested in him in that way, ever. boundaries were re-established as well that night.

then the next day (sunday) right once i get clocked into work one of my managers pulls me into our accting office to talk w me abt friend bc he called off for his shift n was crying. she knows he likes me n is basically obsessed w me but that i dont like him back n she knows weve been friends n hav talked together for a while now at this point but she asked for all the details that day. i told her as much as i cld b4 i was needed up front. she basically said that he was upset that i was upset abt what happened the night b4 n that he was jealous of one of my other friends n is worried for my safety bc of said other friend. my manager said shes worried abt me to but bc of him n said i shldnt talk to him for a while.

i confronted him abt that (not abt the jealousy of other friend part cuz i honestly forgot abt that bit until just now) he claimed that all he did was call off cuz his stomach hurt n he didnt know why our manager talked to me. he showed me some ss between him n the co-worker that asked me abt friday n i said i wasnt mad abt her knowing i was mad cuz she called it a date cuz u told her it was one when it wasnt n that i was also mad from our manager talking to me abt him. i told him not to talk to our manager abt what i told him and what did he do, he asks her abt smthn i said. like are u fucking an idiot wtf!?

then he said his plan was to leave me alone "until things die down" THERES NOTHINF THAT NEEDS TO DIE DOWN FUCKING MAN UP N HAV AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION W ME FOR ONCE WHERE U DONT TRY TO LIE OR PUT BLAME ON SOMEONE ELSE FOR SHIT U OBVIOUSLY DID and stop talking to other ppl abt me its weird!!!

im sick n tired of whenever smthn happens w him i get asked abt it like what happened w him, idfk n frankly idc

i am so fucking done w him n his bs. he can try to make me feel bad or get pity from me all he wants but im seriously just so over all this bullshit. im not talking to him anymore fuck u. last time he stopped talking to ME cuz of how much i liked 🍫 n i wld talk w him abt it cuz i didnt hav any1 else to, plus we were friends i thought it was ok. but he said i was "unsafe" for him to talk to. i told my manager abt that.

its just like, when were talking before like the first time, he did basically the same shit when my friends wld point out bad things hed say or do n he wld deflect then default to being a crybaby abt it. like ur in ur l8 20's at best, learn how to take responsibility for ur actions man!! like are u joking w me rn

think ill hav to cut it short for rn, im getting tired n cant think str8 lmao

[godza]

8 characters. i forgot abt this. abbreviating names and shit

1. kse. most unreliable narrator of all time. nothing he says is true and its not on purpose at all. biased little shit who is also being brainwashed constantly but hes chill with it. hate him so much im scared for 190+ i heard shit happens

2. braun. kses specialest little guy. eight foot tall monster who is now a teeny little bunny keychain in his besties pocket. does he still have his job. like does he split his consciousness between the studio and kse. no wonder he kidnapped kse for a month he needed a paycheck. he cares abt kse but in his own weird monster freak way. he just straight up forgot humans need to eat and sleep

3. k*maeda. the observant eliser will have noticed ive been thinking about him for weeks. im not sure why. its dying down a bit but it got so bad i started watching a playthrough after not seeing the game all the way through since middle school. im watching some random woman play the prologue and ch1 i might speed until she gets to the first trial and the fun begins. im watching another playthrough of the trial and that guy likes komaeda so i might speed thru that as well to get to the good stuff. my roomie knows him now but more as bryce papenbrook but insane

4. xiangling. hey do we remember her. i miss her. too bad genshit sucks and i dont have the attention span to watch videos of the events shes in. xiangling wake up its god. i dont remember anything canon about her she only exists in my drawings from 2021. also chongyun and xingqiu are my friends chongyuns my fave and my old "main" bc i didnt use benny as dps.

5. lelouchie. he sucks. made my roomie start watching i dont think were gonna get to the end of s1 before we move out i want her to see the reveal and also the end. weeee. hes kind of like edward the second to me. wouldnt it be fun if i put him on here. real historical guy that sucks. i love lelouchie hes terrible

6. cej. my man. i like him more than lsy sorry. its very funny and sad that everytime hes seperated from his bf he blacks out and indiscriminately attacks people. he has to stop doing that. i dont remember how 313 ended 312 made me want to black out and indiscriminately attack people. hey can i be choked out i dont wanna read this anymore. someone commented on my fic they stalled a few chapters ago and thats so real. dont read 312 you will want to kill yourself

7. lsy. same comments as above dont read 312 you will want to kill lsy and then yourself. i wish i could reach into the screen and strangle him because i dont understand what he did at all. at least he kissed cej bc right after that it all went to shit. at least theyve both strangled each other but its been established its lsys kink not cejs. i miss them being happy but they didnt get together while it was happy. only the apocalypse could bring these two repressed f slurs together. i want lsy to get flustered again i know its happened again after the biting incident but i wanna see it. damn im in so deep i wanna go on twt for fanart

8. man idk anymore i got too emo over those two. moonpuppy. last week i stayed up too late bc i was looking for the exact page he loredropped on raebunny but got distracted and read carrotcoin and highlighted so much of it. no more carrot economic fraud. we decided to start a revolution. i will destroy it all. idk if this was before or after zombies but itd be rlly funny if he continued his vendetta against the pds. moonpuppy truman show... i love him so much i like how bds writing style shows with both pmd and kse. very diff people but awesome. whens moonpuppys serial killer arc. im not calling you a good boy sunbae you kidnapped me and told me to kill myself

do this i wanna diversify once more. as many likes as possible

[magnoliamyrrh]

something that really bothers me actually is that while i still care abt "sex workers" ie. the 1% w the privilege of choice, most of them don't actually give a damn abt us, they prepetually talk over us, and some seem to outright despise us

like no, i dont care abt the "right" of the 1% to do what they want when the price being payed is sexual slavery. but i do Care about Them because i Know so many still end up traumatized and exploited. and many have spoken on this. (ex)onlyfans&similar models talking about how even just on camera, in their own homes, theyd be pressured by hundreds or thousands of men to do things they didnt want to do to themselves, to degrade themselves in ways that traumatized them. how even they would have to shoot on days they didnt want to become they needed money, do things they didnt want to bc they needed money. how theyd end up getting so many horrid degrading comments and rape threaths and even stalkers. how so many of them started selling nudes and porn before they even turned 18, some doing it for years before - which is becoming more and more common w the internet, everywhere - this happens very frequently and openly even on tumblr... those girls dont just become "sex workers" the day they turn 18 and keep doing it. how so many of them entered when they were 18-19 and inexperienced and couldn't handle such insane audiences of men. how they had their "content" purchesed and watched by ex's, coworkers, bosses, family members, with little they could do against it. how after they stopped it was very hard to get a job bc they'd keep being turned down when their accounts were found - a vicious cycle pulling them into "sex work" they didnt want to do anymore bc now they had little choice; how many didnt think abt that when everyone told them to start at 18-19 because it would be fun and empowering and great. et cetera. i, of all people, think of trisha paytas whose pissed me off for a million reasons, but who recently started talking abt how shes starting to have more conflicted feelings abt the "sex work" she did, that maybe it didnt do her all well and good. and the whole internet jumped on her venting abt her personal experiences as someone whose done this for years for "shaming sex workers." how even though shes made millions she was still traumatized, she did a lot of it while high off her ass and v not okay, shes someone whose very mentally ill, has a history of csa and abuse, and is very vulnerable, and that millions aside none of this was good for her either

i think abt how many ex dominatrixes ive heard talk abt how it was still traumatizing; speaking in idk theoreticals and stereotypes, what "sex worker" could have more power and control than a dominatrix whose doing it not bc of need for money? except, nope, still traumatizing bc she was still being used, degraded, bought, objectified by men who barely see her as fully human. almost like this is all inherently exploitative. i think abt how even "sex workers" who do "jobs" which don't inherently involve sexual intercourse, such as escorting or pole dancing or etc, many times they still end up having to perform sexual acts, eigher in times of particular economic need, or they were pressured into it, or they ended up at a worse "establishment" who forced them, or still ended up getting sexually assaulted or beaten or threatened or raped often.

the whole industry is such shit that even the 1% of more privileged ones still dont have it good. they still end up traumatized and sexually assaulted. the whole industry is still sexist, pedophilic, racist, dehumanizing, violent and exploitative up to the very top.

i care abt that. i care abt this shit no longer being normalized and existing bc it harms essentially everyone involved - even among the 1% there is a 1% whose lucky to not have had bad experiences. but. so many of them dont care the other way around lol. dont care that the thing theyre participating in when they dont have to is inherently tied up with human sex trafficking and pedophilia etc, that those same websites theyre posting on and making money on are the same one making money off of that shit and fueling sexual slavery. and more than not care frankly, theyre insanely hostile to any sex trafficking victim or (ex)(child)prostitute who says anything against the industry. they dont give a damn abt everyone elses suffering. they pretend that ppl w the privilege of choice like them are a majority and sex trafficking a minority, when in fact it is they who are the minority. they think being OF "sex workers" gives them the right to speak over any (ex)prostitutes, and theyre the ones feeding into this crazy idea that "swerfs" exist and somehow abolitionists clearly want "sex workers" dead... like god damn. i still care but so many of them actually dont give a shit abt anything other than Yea Well But Its Good For Me Individually

[f-ngrl]

2023.01.16 cika ig live

he has no leg tattoos bc he heard it’s very painful

playing a song that will be released in feb

one song will come out in january, one in february, both with MVs, but he thinks the feb one is good

the one that's coming out in january he made for ppl who don't like him. he's gotta win sure. do you think he could win? :D

should he cut his hair? it doesn’t look good and is annoying to wash etc having it so long. and he doesnt have a gf.

worrying abt washing hair and applying suncream, his mom says to apply sun cream

if he was really handsome he’d let his hair grow really long

a fan wants to meet but he’s 17 and cika is 27, big trouble they can’t meet

his sibling is 17 too

releasing sth in march is also good

fav rapper? korean? mmm personality or music? music, mmm. kor kash, chillin homie, heroincity. these 3. owen too.

but this is interesting. he didn’t have a hyung he wanted to work with but it happened like that, don mills too. he wants to work with blase.

he featured for blase but blase was too busy so he couldnt return the feat yet. he hopes for it

he likes cool ppl.

this time smtm he liked blase the best. he wished chillin homie could have gone to the finals

he didn’t hear all of the songs but he liked how blase talked abt making hiphop (?)

he didnt watch bc he failed&was eliminated and didn’t want to see anymore

but he supported yoon, blase, chillin homie, roh yunha. he wants them to go up and make money

there were 200 ppl at his concert isn’t that great. his friends helped (were there) but still

been to the military? yes (i think)

he first thought going on smtm is no big deal, told himself even if he’s eliminated he can keep going and releasing good music and whatever, but the failure hit him after all (unexpectedly?)

he started rap at 17, following and copying dok2. he really drank a lot back then (drinking jack daniels from the bottle rn lol)

telling sth funny? there's nothing

he's been to japan and jeju with his parents

he went to hongdae on 01.01 and wanted to tteokbokki but there were soooo many ppl he went home (? i didn’t get the funny part)

travis is his fav foreign rapper. next ??baby, prongs?

the diss? it was fun. when no:el got dissed on smtm he posted a story ...

but back in the day he liked no:el's rap. he found he really rapped well.

sth abt drill. and doenjangjjigae (maybe no:el’s story?? idk)

if he was no:el, no if he was “that person”, he’d understand his mood was bad, so he understands he posted the story

nsw yoon's follower count went up really high so j way said he should work with him (lol)

he came to his house in hongdae and they went out to eat gukbap

when he was a hiphop fan he really knew all the news and disses. now he's busy and doesn't really know

yeah if u send a beat he’ll listen

we didn't have a diss fight in a long time in khh

he'll play a song now :D

(i think it's a diss/problematic??, commenters are saying it'll cause trouble)

“did you hear it? :D :D i did it like that :D”

“DONT UPLOAD THIS!”

:D

fan: yeah yeah don't post/release it...

fan2: i couldn't hear it

plays again

fan2: i heard it

(i didn’t so idk)

you heard it? don't start rumors :P

he almost drank the whole bottle of jack daniels otoke

(i don’t have more time)

[exactlysizzlingdonut]

I. JJTS FINISHED WATCHING MONSTER AND HOLYYYYYYY FUCK

IM SO SAD THAT THIS IS THE END 🙁

SPOILERS!!

NO WAY JOHAN ESCAPED AGAIN BRO HE'S GONNA FUCK EVERYTHING UP 💀

ALSO TENMA IS SUCH A SWEETHEART WHAT THE HELL.. JOINING DOCTORS WITHOUT BORDERS HES A GEM I CANT BELIEVE THE LACK OF TENMA CONTENT AFTER ALL THE GOOD THINGS THAT HE HAS DONE FOR EVERYBODY IN THIS SERIES

ABSOLUTE GEM OF A MAN I CANT EVEN EXPRESS HOW I FEEL ABOUT JIM WITHOUT SOUNDING FERAL AND CRINGE CRONGE (potential verbal appreciation post? It’ll probs be rotting in my drafts HAHSHD)

Also can we talk about how pretty Nina’s voice is when she’s serious, it really reminds me of nausicaa’s voice WHIHC IS A WIN WIN!

Really wanted to find out their real names

ALSO WHEN ROBERTO WAS ADOLF REIN WHATEVER??? THINKJNG ABOIT HOW GRIMMER WAS TALKING ABT HIS BESTIE OMG I NEARLY CRIED BRO.

THAT ALSO LEFT ME WITH MY JAW DROPPED BECAUSE NAW WHAT THE HELL HOW DO U EXPECT ME TO CASUALLY REGISTER THAT INFORMATION WHEN YOU DROP SUCH A BIG BOMB ON ME. AT LEAST WARN ME 😀

Johan being a menace to society (in the worst way possible) never fails to make me giggle

Adding on, Roberto is a meme of a character cos just when you think everything is going okay, he makes an appearance and suddenly you know damn well everything is not going okay anymore

ALSO I DIDNT KNOW GRIMMER WAS GOING TO FUCKING DIE??? WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT

FRANZ BONAPARTA BEING SUCH A SISSY,, GOING ON A MF TANGENT OF HOW HE FUCJED UP LIKE YEAH NO SHIT STFU

wim being so adorbs <33

EVA AND MARTIN BRO THEY HAD IT GOING;;;(;;(::-6;;) WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE

Eva redemption arc I mean queen was lowkey killing it throughout the series.. sometimes questionable but otherwise ily (but I HATED how she treated tenma 😒)

NINA GETTING THE BEST SCORES GO YOU QUEEN YOU DESERVE IT

What was Johan and Nina’s mum doing bro- did that favouritism play a role in this outrage.. guess we’ll never know!

OH NOT TO MENTION MONSTER SOUNDTRACK SLAPS SOOOO HARD. SKIPPING THE OPENINB FEELS LIKE A CRIME. FULLY LISTENED TO THE ENDING IN THE LAST EPSODE BC YK I WANT TO GO OUT PROPERLY AND DAMN IT’S RLLY NICE? BUT I DONT THINK I WOULDVE BEEN ABLE TO LISTEN TO IT AT THE END OF EACH EP BECAUSE MAN THESE CLIFF HANGERS AND HOOKS MAKE ME GO FERAL FOR THE NEXT EP

WHENEVER “THE SEEDS OF TIME” STARTED PLAYING IN A SCENE I WOULD GET SO EXCITED IT’S PROBABLY MY FAV OST RN. OMG AND “Present” IT’S SUCH A CUTE OST AARGRGEGSGESHSGDFFEDD

THIS AJIME IS SO GOOD HOW COME I BARELY SEE OR HEAR PPL TALKING ABT IT… ???DEFINITELY TOP 3 BRO MAYBE EVEN TOP 2 (idek what my anime ranking list looks like 👹)

LUNGE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT ARC REAL?? When he said he’d buy a beer for grimmer n they can talk about this whole case 💔💔

Nah Lunge was mad funny, his only personality trait was hunting tenma down,, then half way through the series he goes “I’ve made a fatal mistake 😗” n reconsiders his life decisions. The audacity,, and I was loving it.

Milan bro 😢 AND TENMA TELLING THE KIDS TO STUDY HARD AND NOT GIVE UP?? I NEED A TENMA IN MY LIFE.

DIETER IS SUCH A CUTIE PATOOTIE OMLLL

okay after some reflection johan saying "which one didn't she need" or stmhn like that at the end BAFFLED me. it made me really sad too

oh yeah HAHAHAHA johan being an iconic cross dresser. you can't tell me he wasn't rocking that outfit when he was with suk... also when he dressed as young anna HIS FACE WAS SO FUNNY "welcome back! :D" bro is so devious HEGHAHSDG

just thhnking about that tenma push up scene it had me giggling and swinging my feet OGH LET;S NOT FORGET WHEN HE WAS LIKE "good girl" TO NINA .... that's the stuff i want to hear frfr

on a serious note though, he's such a good father figure. this man would make the best father ever.. i've seen multiple comments saying that even johan saw him as a father figure and LORD DOES THAT MAKE ME UPSET :(((((

that nameless monster book spoke facts at the end tho, johan is such a beautiful name no joke

his hair looks so fluffy too

HAHA no how about the scream he scrumpt i was lowkey embarrassed like johan you can scream sm better than that.

idk why but he's so fine when he drops the ground- both times in the library and in the rain. i swear it's the hair and his back

yk this anime reminds me of that one tiktok sounds with the garden song that says "no matter where you are, everyone is always connected". it's quite cool to think about it holistically, but in a sense it's also so surreal, and even scary. this masterpiece is an extreme reflection of our world imo, with many elements of truth and reality. anyways i'll leave this kind of stuff for another post (draft lol). but honestly though, i really liked this series. maybe since it's older, it has that sense of authenticity?? not invalidating other anime series but idk. i really enjoyed it.

RAHAHGSHJDHFGHJG LET'S STAY TOGETHER BEING TENMA'S FAVOURITE SONG OMG THIS IS KILLING ME HES SO my heart is aching sm..

im jus reading about tenma's childhood rn :')

WAIT THETRS;S SOMETHING CALLED ANOTHER MONSTER?/ IS THIS A SEQUEL OR SMTHN... well yk what time it is then!

[itsonlystrange]

Can we please stop invalidating Bylers or Milevens. This ship war has gone on for too long. We each have our own side of tumblr/twitter/Instagram and nobody is asking for either to go on the other side. Some people WILLINGLY go onto Mileven tumblr or twitter just to get mad at Milevens who are minding their business and some people WILLINGLY go onto byler tumblr/twitter to comment hate and then get mad abt it when THEY DID THIS TO THEMSELVES.

Mileven and Byler are some peoples comfort ships. And so invalidating either when nobody knows what’s going to happen in the actual show is just rude. We won’t know until season four, and whatever happens, we have to remember to be respectful about it. I don’t want to see any Milevens calling Bylers delusional or any Bylers making fun of Milevens bc their ship wasn’t end game.

BOTH SHIPS ARE GREAT!

And you have to admit, both Mileven and Byler have had some amazing moments. It’s not like either don’t have any potential

As someone who used to ship Mileven for two years straight, I see the potential they had. And even though I don’t ship them anymore and will probably be disappointed if they are end game, I won’t go around having a hissy fit and you shouldn’t either.

Mike and Eleven have had some soft and cute moments, whether you ship it or not, they have. Mike and Will have had some soft and cute moments, whether you like it or not, they have.

Mike loves both of them, whether that be platonic or romantically. He loves them. And he’d probably die for either of them. So can we PLEASE stop pretending that Mike doesn’t care about El, or that he doesn’t care about Will. Stop pretending like when Mike visits the Byers he’s only going to spend time with El. And stop pretending that if Byler were to happen Mike would forget about El’s existence.

I believe that no matter what happens, Mike will continue to love and respect both of them. He will always and I mean ALWAYS care about Eleven and Will. That’s a fact. He is a caring person.

So no matter what happens, we have to respect the duffers choice.

And I’m not saying we can’t have an opinion! We totally can! We are allowed to critique this type of media! That’s okay!

However saying “byler will never be canon you’re delusional. Go get help and go to a mental institution because you are stupid.” That is NOT an opinion. You’re invalidating someone’s comfort ship.

And saying “Mileven is horrible and Mike hates el and el hates mike and they dont care about eachother.” That’s NOT an opinion. That’s invalidating someone’s comfort ship.

So regardless of what happens, (because they BOTH have a great change at being end game ships) we must remember that the directors have had this planned for awhile! So it’s not like they’re pulling it out of their asses if they make Mileven or Byler end game. It would have been made to be from the start.

You don’t have to agree with how Mileven or Byler is presented. You don’t have to ship either. You don’t have to find them cute. You don’t have to do any of that. But you DO have to respect it and it’s shippers.

And admit it, Mike is a total softie with both El and Will. And I know that whatever happens it’ll be good. And even if I personally wouldn’t enjoy an end game Mileven, I would NEVER go out of my way to invalidate that. And even though I WOULD enjoy an endgame byler, I would FEEL for the Milevens because- imagine having your comfort ship not end up to be canon! That shit hurts! And same for if Byler isn’t canon!

I hope that all shippers can see from everyone’s point of view (unless you ship minorxadult, or anything disgusting like that.)

And I hope all Milevens and Bylers can learn to respect eachother.

And PLEASE for the LOVE OF GOD, I know that if Byler becomes canon we’re gonna wanna get cocky, and I know the same goes for if Mileven is end game, but please don’t go around saying “I told you so!” It’s never fun and it just makes people feel worse. People are ALLOWED to have faith in something. They’re ALLOWED to enjoy a ship.

And FRIENDLY REMINDER:

Statements like “Byler is endgame” or “Mileven is end game” shouldn’t be taken seriously.

Even I, who always says Byler will be end game, have no idea what will happen in season four. So we can dream all we want but it’s all up to the duffers.

SO PLEASE: let shippers have faith in their ship. Mileven and Byler are pretty vibey and I try to respect it as much as I can.

AND ALSO:

To anyone who has seen my previous Byler vs Mileven posts, I want you to know that although I do have my own opinions on Byler and Mileven- I never want you to stop shipping what you want! And I will always respect whatever you choose to ship (aslong as it’s legal and appropriate) this is just a fictional show! None of its real! And I hope you all know that I love Mileven shippers with my heart, even if I don’t love the ship. And I think both are awesome!

LETS ALL BE RESPECTFUL <3 it’s not that hard! Unless you are a toxic shipper, I will respect whatever you choose to ship. (Again, unless it’s inappropriate, but that goes without saying.)

And whatever becomes end game, I hope we can respect the brothers choice. Because at the end of the day, none of us know for sure what’s going to happen. And so we should just keep our heads up and respect everyone’s side of the fandom. And we need to stop getting so pressed when someone says they don’t ship something that you happen to. Not everyone will share your opinions. And as long as that person isn’t invalidating anything or hating on you, then you should respect them too!

Sorry, anyways. I went on a rant there.

TLDR; ship what you want and respect all shippers please! Even if you don’t ship it personally, you HAVE to respect a ships existence and when it comes to byler and Mileven, you gotta admit that both of them have a good shot at being end game ships. Whatever happens, I’ll always respect Mileven shippers and the ship itself even if I don’t like the ship personally. And If it is end game, then congrats! I love all shippers (as long as it’s appropriate) and I hope you do too!

PS: I’m tagging this In the Mileven tag but if anyone is bothered by that I will take it out!

[delicrieux]

hi miss dee, i think the person who made the initial thread abt ash deleted it cuz i cant find it anymore 😓 but yeah i saw it and it has screenshots of her discord chat being really racist to asians and ash even commented something about hoping to not get sick bcs she ate chinese food the dau before. i think the time stamp was around 2020, so it was really disappointing to see how she acted then. she did adressed the issue https://twitter.com/Sugoi_Ash/status/1365147006495318018?s=19

but idk, as part of the asian community, i feel kinda icky about accepting that apology tho.

hiya babes. u absolutely dont have to accept her apology if u feel its not genuine, or if u just dont want to accept it.

also idk about the jokes abt asians & bats but like 💀 idk the lith discourse ive seen at the very start of corona (on discord too) were just jokes abt corona (the beer) & ppl buying it in bulk so idk if “ppl were making jokes like tht at the time” is a valid excuse. at best her jokes were very distasteful at worst just plain offensive.

adding the twt thread a helpful nonnie provided me so you all can check it out for urselves!!

the r slur... & the blm comments (which from what ive gathered she was talking abt looting + antimaskers but still grouping them w blm...its a no from me) 💀💀💀

[marshmallowprotection]

Hello, maybe you coukd give me some tips. I send you that ask already but it means ght be deleted by tumblr and it was all messy and ugly.

So I have one childhood friend, we used to do everything together till highschool. Often she was my only friend, like now. We slowly started to distance from each other sonce she has a boyfriend. For all those years I did my best to accept him and all, told myself that duh she is not obliged to spent time only with me even in situation when she spent less and less time with me. Sometime I had a bit trouble to fully accept bf because sometime when they argued she was venting to me and I felt like his is hurting her but she refused to break up with him. Boy eas very insecure, no friends and so on and one day around graduating junior hight school she wanted to break up with him but he said something like he is gonna hurt himself if she will, or just drop out the school. So she wanted to wait at least until he graduate, but she waited longer. Then just after we graduated hightschool she broke up with him like she had enought. It was prolly a mistake but after she vent I said one or two things about him concerning past events and I said 'wow finally'. After a while they made up and she said she just missend him. I promissed mtself I will never comment whatever she tell me about them, unless in a good way.

Well... the point is that I am probably jellous, that she doesnt want to spent time with me anymore. Alway if I ask her out I give her to eventually pick the date, if nit today then maybe tomorrow etc y know introvert way :D And im trying to save this friendship? She is not the person busy 24/7, unless maybe when she is in uni or we count playing games as being busy. I play games too sometime.

Sometime it seems like she tries to avoid me and dont want to tell me anything. One day I was talking to her in cafee and she was just fidgeting with her phone. She didnt even like heck the socialmedia, just switching between random (system?) folders on the phone. When I asked abt it why she doesnt listen, she said she wanted to do sth but forgot what. Another time I havent seen her for months and she alway soent holidays 1 month her bf comes to her (he lives abroad already I guess) and I dont want to disturb them of feel like third wheel and the other month she come to him. So like week before she pnanned to go I asked her to go out next day. She said she cant. So asked another day, she answered : but I go to my bf. So I surprised that its that soon and sad I missed the oportunity: oh really? When? She: on Friday me: but its Monday(?)(no answer) so...? She: ught I know ;;; but lately I dont really feel like going anywhere :(

Well... maybe I'm childish but I felt sad.

I'm also jellous that they even celebrate each others bdays altought she never do that bc of religious reasons and I've always respected that.

Once I asked her what is with us, we barely talk for last few years and I feel like she is avoiding me. She had no Idea what I was talking about, she felt like everything was the same.

I was told to not have much hope or expectations toward her bu maybe try to text her or maybe arrange a meeting once in a while and try not to become bitter.

The other one sait that that how adulthood looks like, we become busier with private issues and so on and I may act childish and selfish, but as far as I know except for time she go to uni or to her bf she is not that busy, definitely not that busy not to have time to meet with me more than once in a whole year (or none) when we live ~20min apart by foot. I dont want to be burden to anyone or feel like third wheel so I dunno what to do. I have problem with finding friends, she was my only one friend (?) for years. I dont trust ppl easly

I wanted to do more things together outside since we both used to or still do soent too much time on the computer but well... you know, together is easier.

Since I have to do it on my own maybe you have some ideas? Thats stupid wuestion I guess since you dont know my environment. Jogging and biking wont work I guess since I dont have proper bike. I wanted to plant some flowers but I was afraid I screw everything up since im kida kid who grow up in the bubble and Im not sure how to do basics and nobody wanted to help me and its too late already... Walk is fine but I prefer places far from road and since I'm not supposed to go to the forest that I love I dont have many spots to go.

I am sorry for long post. Any even tiny help would be appreaciated. I hope thats not much of the problem, have a nice day or night :)

-PineconeAnon

I do think that it's time for you to let go of the friendship. I know that's hard to do but people grow apart and that's okay. It's okay. You'll be able to make better relationships and move forward but you have to learn to let go and keep walking forward. It sounds like you're holding onto this friendship because you want to keep going on like it's the past but...

It doesn't work like that. Change happens. It hurts sometimes but it's not a bad thing. You can reflect on this with time and learn how to be able to accept it. You need someone that wants to hang out with you and relax with you. It's not childish to be upset but it's important to see when people just... don't have time for you anymore and feelings change.

It just seems like you both have a fundamental misunderstanding and if you can't talk that through, then it's not working. You can try to talk about it but it seems like it'd be better to just let go. She doesn't think there's something wrong but you do. If you feel stress around her instead of friendship, it's not great.

But, that's up to you, you know? You decide your relationships what you want them to be.

I don't really have great advice for making friends as an adult. I'm not exactly going out and interacting with people. I can suggest finding a new set of friends online by joining Discords and interacting with the fandoms you're in because that's how I've made friends. It's easier to do that if you're anxious about making friends outside.

Try new hobbies. Take a deep breath. If you want to garden, try it out. You're not going to be perfect the first time. It's a learning process at anything and you have to just try. You don't get to live it if you don't try. You have to consider your limits and reflect on what is going to be the easiest thing to try.

It's never too late.

Try to start small and work your way up.

[fansofvow]

im here to clear up some things.

edit: just scroll to the bottom for the tl;dr cause this is a lot but i think its necessary so it doesnt seem half assed or glossed over.

if you can’t tell by the perpetual lowercase here, its mod galen! i figured i should address the drama coming on here from a different perspective. no, this isn’t mod atlas dumping all her problems on me, she’s already tried talking abt it herself - its me deciding to speak up on my own accord after seeing the shitfest my dash has become.

keep in mind - i will be happy to discuss any of this with you guys civilly, but im not going to be kind to nasty anon hate. dm us, or just send us a polite ask, and we can sort things out! if we’ve done something ignorant, i promise you we will educate ourselves and apologise sincerely.

the galen thing

first and foremost - i saw some people saying its sus that i, an nb mod, was added to the blog right after the galen debacle. it was not to save face or hide behind me! ironically, the reason i got added now of all times was because mod atlas and i were discussing what was going on, i gave my thoughts on the matter, she asked me if id be interested in being a mod!

mod atlas then thanked me for my insight and educated her on the issue and figured it would be a good idea to actually have someone in the lgbt+ community on the blog - that way, these silly ignorant mistakes will not happen again. i wont let it happen. not to mention she’s getting pretty busy in her personal life so she thought itd be a good idea to bring someone else on board.

i believe that people can learn from their mistakes - i was also hurt by that misgendering galen post. i bitched about it too. but i saw that everyone involved apologised, genuinely didn’t mean it, and promised to do better. and i’ll hold them to that! but im not gonna start talking trash abt them on other peoples blogs just bc they made a rly ignorant post. if you’re cis, i really don’t want you speaking up on this matter anymore. its not your fight. youre not in the position to forgive nor condemn any of these people. trans folk, im not going to tell you that anyone deserves your forgiveness, that’s up to you, but what they do deserve is your decent respect. unless they say theyre blatantly against trans people - aka make a deliberately transphobic statement rather than one made out of pure ignorance - in that case, all bets are off lmfao. i dont take that shit lightly and ill come for you too.

to the person who made the misgendering galen post - you know who you are, i dont want to send you any more hate than you’ve already been getting so im not going to @ you, but please. reupload your apology about the post, cause i scrolled through your blog for ages and didn’t find it - if i didn’t see it reblogged on this blog, i wouldn’t have known you apologised. i wouldn’t have felt like your blog is a safe space for nonbinary folk. its important you own up to mistakes and keep the apology there.

the nahara thing

look. im poc. im also straight up sick and tired of lovestruck’s mistreatment of dark-skinned characters, especially black characters (why do half of them look like recoloured white people....?) like nahara. its important for our representation that she does well! that way, we can get more diverse li’s on our roster in the future instead of every skinny white person getting the spotlight and 9238428903 seasons. (i love you onyx and juliette, but what the fuck.)

that being said - i dont think what mod atlas said was that bad, especially considering it wasn’t here on fansofvow, the only thing reblogged onto here being her english lesson on galen’s route with a relieved comment abt how thats a series started right.

please understand - we’ve been afraid of the new characters’ routes ever since the strike. a lot of writers left, a lot are likely to be leaving, and we’re concerned about the status of the app. this wasn’t to shoot down nahara, but out of pure relief that we’re not seeing a downwards spike in the writing quality post-strike.

that being said - if you think nahara’s route is well written, and great - thats awesome! please give her all the love for us, cause we do want her to do well. she’s just not our cup of tea. can we please respect that instead of slamming this blog’s name? nahara is still doing well, im seeing hype for her everywhere- one or two negative opinions wont change that. we’re not even going to a leave a review in-app, which is the most important form of community feedback to lovestruck.

the posts have been deleted. please, give it a rest. keep loving nahara. quit the drama.

the nikolai’s route in school thing

all the students that saw the screenshots were 18+, and none of the examples were sexual in nature. teenagers get shown romeo and juliet in school, a play ending in a double suicide, but showing adults a few lines of good writing from a 17+ app is bad? its not like she showed them a scene from a straight up porno, its just a story that happens to have sexual themes in it. its up to the students whether they read the whole story or not, and they’re mature enough to handle it. that’s all im going to say abt the matter, cause im no teacher,

and lastly...

i see a lot of people saying that we, fansofvow, need to “set an example” cause we think we’re a “fandom leader” or somehow think we’re on some high horse cause of clout? i have no idea where this started because ik for a fact mod atlas has never referred to herself as a “fandom leader” or anything like that, and guys, we’re not that up ourselves. we don’t even have tons of followers! we’re just doing our thing to support VOW. please don’t put words in our mouths.

with all that out of the way, i hope we can move on and make the community a happier place for everyone.

-mod galen

tl;dr: people make ignorant mistakes sometimes. mod atlas has apologised for reblogging the post abt misgendering galen, wants nahara to do well, only showed non-sexual writing examples of nikolai to 18+ students and never called herself a “fandom leader.”

[ajokeformur-ray]

I watched Joker tonight and typed out my thoughts as they occurred to me. Unedited; typos are guaranteed. I did this a few months ago and really enjoyed looking back at my thought process and I wanted to do it again so that I can look back and know that what I feel is real and true in my darkest times.

You're welcome to skip this; it's under a cut for ease of doing so. Warnings for occasional sexual comment lmao. There’s no self shipping in this, I don’t think.

word count: 2, 575.

I’M SOBBING and I’ve only just pressed play.

Heart squeeze Chest much ow

THERE HE IS

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nooooo baby omg don’t pretend - let yourself hurt if it hurts. Don’t pretend. 

Carnival Carnival Carnivalllllllll 😍😍😍😍😍

I am a Simp for one clown and his name is Carnival

Someone help him, I????

That sign hit Arthur as hard as my love for him did ksksksk

MY EYES BE LEAKIN💔💔💔💔💔

bb nooooo

Oh honey let me kiss those bruises and replace the marks of violence with love, hm? You’re safe with me.

Breathe, my love. Don’t fight the laughter. Let it out, let yourself go. 

Screams into a pillow because????? much sad must kiss

“have you been keeping up with your journal?” LIKE HE HAS TIME

oHHHHH boi’s close to losing his shit

Do it, Artie. Give ‘em hell.

“I think I did” YOU TELL HER!!💖💖💖

I want to be his cigarette. Where’s Satan??? I got a new deal for my blackened soul which he took at half price😂😂😂😂

I’d have my hand between the door and his head so fuckin fast I swear

“I just don’t wanna feel so bad anymore” yep SAME

ohhhh peekaboo🥺🥺🥺

this makes me giggle ksksksk i watch this scene when i feel sad bc it always makes me happy for the time it’s on

he’s so good with kids; he doesn’t have to try and think about what’s funny, he just does it, he’s himself and it works

FUCK OFF LADY CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S STRUGGLING????

give

him

back

his

card

casually wrinkling my nose against tears lmao

ohhh the way he looks up at those stairs from the bottom

i can feel his exhaustion

me too, my love

step step step step

god i wanna get him the fuck outta gotham

and into my arms and a soft, warm blanket

“eat. you need to eat” LITERALLY WHAT I TELL MYSELF EVERY DAY IN HIS VOICE BC OTHERWISE I JUST WOULDNT EAT???? I’m losing so much weight asdfghjk its not enough tho

SUPAH RATS

Did Arthur come up w that joke or was it actually a Murray joke????

HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT IM CRY??🥺🥺🥺🥺

“I WAS PUT HERE TO SPREAD JOY AND LAUGHTER”

YOU DO BABY, YOU DO!!!! EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!

go deepthroat a cactus randall - youre already a bit of a prick so🙃🙃🙃

“THE GUYS THINNK YOU’RE A FREAK BUT I LIKE YOU”

HOYT. YOU CAN GO SIT ON A CACTUS TOO

FUCK OFF

😡😡😡😡

“WHY WOULD ANYONE STEAL A SIGN”//”WHY DOES ANYONE DO ANYTIHNG?” HOYT YOU’RE SO FUCKING ILLOGICAL HERE IM????? ERIKA DOES NOT (ALSO WILL NOT LMAO IM A STUBBORN BIITCH) COMPUTE

Can arthur fuck me like he pounds the trash/????🥵🥵👀

those dark curls.... that crooked tooth... must kiss.🥺🥺🥺

pennys casual cruelty makes me so fucking angry

foreshadowingggggg ~  *JAZZ HANDS*

ugh the way he dances with that gun im👀🥵🥵🥵

he enjoys the power of it and his breathing gets deeper asdfghjk

clumsy baby omggggg i just COOED 🥺🥺🥺🥺

okay maybe im stupid but i genuinely dont understand this “senior who needs to graduate” skit i’m??? how is being an intro to western civ student funny im???? someone explain???

but also dont bc fuck that guy lmao arthur’s hilarious

true millenial humour (and brit humour lmao we’re dark asf)

THE WAY ARTIE TWIRLS HIS FINGERS AROUND HIS HAIR AND DANCES IN HIS SEAT IM???🥺🥺🥺

wanna curl up on his lap at night when hes writing and go to sleep with a 

blanket around our bodies🥺🥺🥺🥺

when arthur wears a shirt at home you KNOW it’s a daydream

THAT CROOKED TOOTH IM WANT KISS.

WAIT IS IT CALLED STAND UP COMEDY BC YOU STAND UP... AND ITS COMEDY???

23 FUCKING YEARS, PEOPLE... TO REALISE THAT🙄

WHEN CARNIVAL CAME ON SCREEN I NTHE HOSPITAL I MADE A PORNOGRAPHIC NOISE LMAO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

IF YOURE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, SHOOT MURRAY

WOOPS WRONG LYRICS

😂

“doctor of laughter”🥺🥺🥺🥺

doctor i have a case of the Big Sad can you... do an exam? 😉😏

NO BB DONT BEAT YOUR HEAD UP THERES PRECIOUS CARGO IN THERE

in what world does chucking cold greasy chips in a girls hair being “nice”???

lmao fuck these guys

ohhh honey breathe. dont fight it, my love, just breathe.

my heart’s breaking for you, you sweet thing🥺🥺🥺

i love you so so so so so so so much ugh you’re an actual fucking angel

just breathe darling

i need to get you a cup of tea with honey in it, your throat must be so sore

ohhhh baby im so sorry

i’d take every single punch if i could

i’d die for you

i wish i could protect you

i wish i could look after you

and take all those hits

and kill those guys for you

im so sorry

sobbingggg

YES GOOD MAN THANK YOUUU

KILL THOSE ASSHOLES LMAO DESERVED IT

yeah i have a grey morality... im similar to deadpool in that way tbh

carnival comin’ to kill your insecurities

8 bullets in a 6 chamber???? mm-hm

DONT FORGET YOUR BAG THATS EVIDENCE

AND THE WIG

RUN BABY RUNNNNNNN

GO GO GO GOOOOOOOOOOOO

RUN LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE

THE SOUND OF HIS FEET SLAPPING THE PAVEMENT IM👀

OOOOOH JOKER’S WAKIN’ UUUUUUP

fuck he’s so hypnotic

the way he runs his hand down his lower stomach asdfghj🥵

must kiss the inner tendons on his wrists and lick the blood off his face 

must kiss

he moves like water

fuck hes so fluid

bathroom scene = the scene in which my heart and vagina clench at the same time

im WANT

T POSEEEEEEEE

“i still owe you for that, dont i?”

PUNCH OUT IS MY FAVOURITE THING E  V  E  R

D O N T S M I LE

UGH I FUCKING HATE being told to smile if i don’t fucking want to so BIG mood

PLEASE SHUSH ME THE WAY YOU JUST SHUSHED PENNY IM???

but also dont lmao bc i’ll think you’re mad at me and i’ll hide in the bedroom for the rest of the day lmao i’m sensitive✨✨✨

i wanna sit on his lap and still his bouncing knees

“thats not funny”

fuck off penny yes it is

I JUST CHOKED ON MY COFFEE IM???

“but i do” god the  P O W E R

ugh that fucking sexist piece of shit comedian can choke “women look at sex like buying a car” 🤢🤮🤢🤢🤮

chauvinistic pigs can die thanks

his lil trip upstage im cry🥺🥺🥺

ohhh baby. just breathe, darling. it’s okay to be scared. dont fight it. just breathe. 

he and i both cover our mouths when we laugh/smile in the exact same way and it makes me feel closer to him

how can they think hes laughing at himself when hes literally gagging????

people only see what they wanna

the Penny imitation is👌👌👌

s m i l e

i remember when i came home from seeing this for the first time, i got home and dropped to my knees to cry in the bathroom. it was such an emotional release and so much love and i played smile to try to make myself smile but i only made myself cry harder lmaooooo ~ 

smile and thats life are my go-to songs if i gotta cheer tf up

danger sign = neither works

he looks so soft after his “date”🥺🥺🥺

“thats life” yeah but murray you dont even leave the studio so how do you know????

ngl arthur’s anger scares me.

anyone so much as raise their voice at me and i’ll cry really bad and i will shut myself away for the rest of the day and quiet anger terrifies me so his banging abt in the kitchen would freak me tf out😲

angry bb😭

he controls his anger so fast though omgggg ~ 

that soft please sends me

idk where it sends me lmao

down below probably

BARE FACED CARNIVAL OMG THIS SCENE IS SO CUTE

I LOVE THE MATCHING COLOURS ON ARTHUR AND BRUCE TOO ???

okay but the implication that arthur always carries a clown nose on him is🥺🥺🥺

hes such a good clown im?????

lmao im enjoying the show more than bruce is skskskk

arthur’s lil chuckle makes me🥺

his HUMMING im??? soft?????

his brows are so strong and dark omggg ~ he’s so beautiful

OKAY i’ll be honest i’ve seen this alfred/bruce scene and the thomas bathroom scene later on and the penny flashback scene a 100 times and i still dont fucking understand what did or didnt happen regarding arthur’s parentage im????

 ive seen interpretations to say he is thomas’ son and some to say he isnt and i still cant decide so? im stupid i guess 🙃

“a clown thing?” the  s a s s

“it’s exit only” yeah so’s my ass🙃

if i was there in the hospital room i woulda turned that tv off as soon as i realised what clip was gonna play

murray’s cruelty is d i s g u s t i n g

lmao hes an asshole

arthurs lil clap from joyyyyy ~ 🥺🥺🥺

did i say murray???

i meant  m u r r a t

🙃🙃🙃

sneaky baby

wayne hall either has super bad security or arthurs v quick on his feet

🤔🤔🤔🤔

he looks so good in red omggg ~ 

f o r e s h a d o w i n g

arthurs smile when hes watching chaplin is how he smiles when we all gush to each other abt him and ourselves!!!

hes so cuuuuuute🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰

“told me what” 

ohhhh honey🥺🥺 im so sorry. “crazy” is a trigger word for arthur; it made him start laughing in the bathroom with thomas

“touch my son again ill fucking kill you” yeah?? touch my arthur again and i’ll fucking kill you🙃🙃🙃🙃

^^^ that ones a joke do not come at me

the clerk in arkham was nice to arthur - he, gary and sophie are the good gothamites.

none of it was enough to stop his descent into joker, though, and i’d even say it was too late right at the beginning of the film, too... 

his sock puppet thingy “they cut all those” is such a Joker thing to doooo ~ 

the way arthur’s laughing in the hall at arkham turns into sobbing is gut-wrenching omg the poor thing😭

i wanna hug him and protect him and help him to process this in a healthy way

sweetheart, if i could take all of your pain and put it onto me... i so would. i’d do it in a heartbeat.

i wanna get you into a hot shower, make you some food and sit and listen to you. we can either sit in silence or you can talk to me, my love, and you will be heard and understood and loved.

“i had a bad day”

IT’S OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY OMG YOU POOR SWEET INNOCENT THING IM LOVE YOU🥺💔

THAT ENTIRE LATE NIGHT SCENE LAUGH/SOBBING GOT ME -

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i just wanna hold you and protect you and help you and love you

I’m so fucking sorry, darling. i wish i could take it all away from you

“i havent been happy one minute of my entire fucking life”

NO ONE SHOULD LOOK THAT ANGELIC AFTER COMMITING MATRICIDE IM????

get

that

fucking

gun

away

from

your

face

boi dont test me ill fucking go feral or - no, tell you what, i’ll point the gun at me and see how you like it

im looking respectfully at the green speckled undies scene....👀👀👀

“coming” 😏😏😏

“my mum died im celebrating” and “i stopped taking my medication” and you STILL stayed in the apartment with Arthur????? dudes those are 🚨🚨🚨 signs

woe betide anyone who underestimates arthur fleck lmaoooo

randalls death scene makes me laugh every time omg i feel so vindictive

get WRECKED

i wanna lick the blood off his face. i really want to

ngl i think i have a blood kink... 

“dont look just go” ME WITH MY ACNE WHEN I SEE IT IN THE MIRROR 😂😂😂😂

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER 

ASDFGHJKL

J

O

K

E

R

ERIKA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERRRRRR

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 MY BABY MY MAN OMG THERE HE IS IM CRY???????😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺

my mind is literally blank rn im just staring and crying and smiling so hard my face hurts????? im love him so so so so much

sweet thing’s so used to pain he gets HIT BY A CAR AND KEEPS GOING????

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

hghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

euirrrrrrgkjbgkfbirsghigrbugr

*incoherent keyboardsmash to portray utter love*

ohhh baby no dont cry. oh honey😭 i wanna sit on your lap and kiss your tears away

“i love dr sally”

you have a WIFE at home

“DO YOU REMEMBER?” THAT WAS YOUR CUE TO APOLOGISE LMAO GET FUCKED MURRAT

he’s so CUTE

omgggg ~ 

my hearts gonna give out its SQUEEZING SO HARD IT HURTS

YOU MOCK THEM, BABY!!! THEY GOT IT COMING

“i wanna get it right” hes so passionate

my comments have deceased in number bc im just too starstruck and in love to even think clearly lmao

jokers all i know rn and this is the most peaceful ive felt in WEEKS

im sobbing

ugh fuck this hurts so BAD

youre speaking the truth, darling. im so so proud of you and i love you so much

“THEY COULDNT CARRY A TUNE TO SAVE THEIR LIVES” LMAO INSIDE JOKESSS

literally sobbing right now ugh what the fuck youre in so much pain and in the middle of a breakdown and no one saw you

ugh baby im so sorry, you deserve so much better

you tried so hard and you were gonna fall no matter what

IN THE WHITE ROOM

“hi” baby they cant hear you but im COOING 🥺🥺🥺🥺

you’re so fucking cute

say the word and ill burn gotham to the fucking ground for you

i wanna sit atop that car and cradle your head in my lap and wipe the blood off your face and help you stand up and be there for you and and and😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love you so so so much. 

i’d be so much worse off without you in my life. you brought a splash of colour which has never dimmed or faded. it never will. 

b l o o d    s m i l e

=

im wearing my inside on the outside now and it still hurts

angel💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i see you and your pain. i love you.

i see you, angel. 

his genuine laughter is🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

that cute lil “ksksks” he does im🥺🥺🥺

i always laugh with him omg the two of us are laughing together ugh its the closest i will ever get to sharing in his joy

 t h a t ‘s    l i f e

i love the hallway daaaaaaaaaaaaaance ~ 

them hips dont lie😉😉😉

i love you i love you i love you i love you omg the sun’s like a halo ugh i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you im singing along to thats life while i type out how much i love you at 220am lmaooooo ~ 

i   l o v e    y o u

[yyxgin]

i think the only person ive ever wanted to steal from was some lady on tiktok who ordered rare pc’s and showed tiktok and then just resold them at the same or more value. she showed a jungkook pc from a japanese release if i remember correctly and it cost her $400 and when she resold it she made profit?? like HELLO??? apparently that was what the pc collectors would call ‘a steal’ in regards to how much she paid for it.

oooh i just googled pepco apparently they own some big-ish stores here. it sounds p straight forward!! plenty of training videos i imagine 🥲 friends at work are always a good idea but apparently i have what my mother calls a ‘fuck off face’ and... she’s not wrong. not at all. it morphs into disgust easily when i garner unwanted attention. but it’s not intentional anymore i practiced for when i used to walk to school bc i hated people and the randos bc they’re so creepy when i’m clearly in uniform and underage ewwwww blergh 😫

i initially started writing how i do bc i used to love how fancy my nan’s writing looked so when she passed away and i was old enough to understand how to write in cursive i just did that. my r’s and i’s are dangerously similar but no one complains so :D

libra ☀️, leo 🌝, virgo ⬆️ !! i’m easily the flirtiest person ik and i don’t even do it on purpose it’s dangerous but there’s a boy who matches my flirt w flirt and it’s an ongoing joke so 😳😫😫 idm making decisions if it’s like,, just for me but when there’s more than one person involved i don’t like to step on toes or come off as if i haven’t considered others thoughts and feelings bc i had a day out w a girl and she said to me sumn about wanting to do something and said ‘so like 7pm, yeah?’ and i freaked out bc i was not comfortable getting the train home later than 5pm and she was just dragging me everywhere and i distinctly remember thinking never letting myself get in a situation like that again. she even brushed off my subtle comment about seeing a bookshop that looked old and that our other mutual friend would enjoy by saying ‘god no. you wouldn’t catch me dead in there.’ i died inside. i just wanted to look at books bruh 💔💔

shotaro is v cute!! gives me stray kids vibes tbh. all of stray kids are so precious to me. esp felix!! he’s just so 🥺🥺 HE MADE COOKIES!! FOR OTHER IDOLS!!!

don’t worry bestie! 🤩 we all have days like that. tbh i was v tired yesterday myself. my sleep is so restless nowadays too 🙃 and uh i’ve been doing training courses all day. it said 60 mins per course and they weren’t lying!! the other ones i’ve done before ive been able to push out in a couple of hours max but maybe bc i have actual time to dedicate to my job i have to do more courses since i’ll be there more often. anyway.

do you have plants? 🤔 ~🌻

A PC FOR  $400 ???? PEOPLE ARE INSANE THESE DAYS WHAT THE FUCK ITS LITERALLY JUST A PIECE OF PAPER W A MAN ON IT 😭😭😭 

pepco is awesome tho,, they have so much cheap useless stuff there i always leave all my money there </3 my boss said i’ll have a discount since i work there but i forgot how much it was ?? i think she said 11% or something ?? i honestly kind of zoned out during that part. i dont think i’m getting like training videos ?? we don’t quite do that here, they just show you around and tell you how stuff works around there and that’s it ?? i hope i do good i’m kind of stressed :DDD also people tell me i look really egoistic and like a bitch at first so i guess im just gonna smile nonstop or something so i make some new friends uhhh

your big three... im not really fluent in astrology lmao but libra sun leo moon sounds like a very sexc combo imo,, i am aries sun libra moon cancer rising (i think i said libra rising earlier ?? my mistake oopsies) so feel free to read me or something if you’re into that bc i just pretend i know shit about astrology all the time even tho i know nothing :(

also that friend you mentioned sounds like a real bitch,,,why didnt she let you look at old books :( meanie !! 

YES FELIX MADE COOKIES FOR OTHER IDOLS !! SWEETHEART !! I ALSO REMEMBER THAT HE SAID HE GAVE SOME TO CHENLE TELLING HIM TO SHARE W HIS MEMBERS BUT HE JUST ATE THEM BY HIMSELF LMAOOOOO 

i hope your training videos are over soon omg that sounds like such a pain in the ass. also i hope you get to sleep better soon :(( 

YES I DO i have uhhh 13 plants atm and the list is still growing. they are all alive and well and ive had them for like 2 years now so thats a record for me even tho i think one of my plants is currenlty dying and im really sad abt it i dont know how to fix it :(