#and it all started bc i made a comment abt how i dont want anymore harry potter merch for xmas
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poindorkster · 1 month ago
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I've always tried to push back against my family's small minded bigoted bullshit, and it used to suck so much more cause I would get so emotional and I would just get dismissed as crazy cause I would be so upset by the fact that they were so casually hateful and ignorant, but I've been doing it for years and I can keep my cool now and I see it as a challenge, like I'm a spy trying to manipulate them into being better, empathetic people.
But secretly falling head over heels for a transgirl will really turn that "keep your cool" mentality on its head and have you wanting to rip your sister's throat out with your own teeth in front of her children on a Thursday afternoon.
#luckily she was in a rush so the conversation had to end and i held it together and stayed calm#but omg shes such a fucking stupid pos#ITS NEVER BEEN ABOUT GIRLS SPORTS YOU DUMB BITCH#and even if it was IDC ABOUT SOME TEEN MISSING OUT ON A HYPOTHETICAL VOLLEYBALL SCHOLARSHIP WHEN PEOPLE'S EXISTENCE IS AT STAKE#TRANS KIDS & ADULTS ARE BEING MURDERED OR COMMITTING SUICIDE BECAUSE THEIR VERY RIGHT TO EXIST IS BEING ARGUED AGAINST IN THE NEWS EVERYDAY#i guess its good news she doesnt vote#shes also not a terf cause she anti feminist.#shes just a fucking idiot.#but god her saying that shit made me cry so hard on my drive home#and it all started bc i made a comment abt how i dont want anymore harry potter merch for xmas#and she was like oh cause youre almost 30 and its childish and i was like nah cause j.k. rowling is a terrible person#and then i explained why and she took the side of joanne#like bitch i just said shes a terrible person for her views. what do you think im going to think about you for having the same ones???#ive always vehemently argued for the rights of trans people#but ive never been succumbing to an all consuming crush on a transgirl whilst doing so#i would cut my sister out of my life if it weren't for her 3 children who i could never not be there for#god if my husband ever gets on board with full polyamory i am going to shake the fuck out of my familys worldview#i would never subject her to them but i would loudly and frequently talk about how amazing she is#she's kind of a total badass tho and would probs be like nah let me at em#trans rights#respect them or i will commit wrongs
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futurewriter2000 · 11 months ago
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Second Chance
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A/N: I don't know how this can end in a happy ending but... I'll try. I didn't even know how to start writing this request but I think I did fairly well and even better than I expected. I think I can do it better though but for now, I'll give you this. Short-ish and sweet. I tried to put everything into one fic.
REQUEST #14 (wattpad) @fredsdeath: HI!! I love all ur books especially the fred weasley book and uhm i was wondering if you could do my request abt how y/n pretends to have amnesia and not remember fred bc fred was her ex and broke her heart in their past relationship like happy emding or not its fine and this is just a suggestion its still okay if you dont do it tho :D
XX
They say that the first few months always feel like a true honeymoon and then the reality hits but it wasn't like that with you and Fred. It was different because the two of you were friends first before anything and that changed everything. You knew who he was, the good and the bad, as well as he did. The two of you had this undestructable bond, nothing in the world could break. It felt real, it felt true, it felt like a once in a life-time love and you believed that.
You did... until you didn't anymore.
There were moments of Fred acting ditant. Sometimes when you looked into his eyes, he wasn't there and when he smiled, it felt forced. You felt like you were too much for him so you took a step back as well, thinking that space was all that he needed. You were different than him however, you didn't want space, you needed reassurence that he is still the Fred that will hold your hands and kiss them randomly when the two of you are laughing or just sitting together. You believed that the Fred that walked down the hall, nagging you jokingly until you retorded a sarcastic comment back, pretending to be furious with him until he nagged you until you laughed- was still somehow there. You believed that the Fred who made your stomach cramp either from laughter or butterflies will appear soon. It's just a hard transitioning moment, now that the new headmistress is on. He's coming back... he's still Fred.
He wasn't though.
"What do you mean?" your eyes twitched and you couldn't figure out whether you were angry or sad. You kept looking at the ground, not knowing when your hands ripped themselves from his.
"It's not you, I swear, it's just-"
"It's you." you looked at him, your lip trembling but you refused to cry in front of him.
"It is..." he bit his lower lip. "I just don't think that this is it." he said and you refused to look at him. He forced a smile and swayed on his feet. "We can still be friends." he said, touching your shoulder playfully as if all of a sudden you will place a smile on your face, bright and jolly but you turned your head away, wiped the crocodile tear that fell from your eyes and looked at him.
"Who is she?" you said with a sharp cold tone.
"There isn't-"
"You never lied to me, Fred. Don't start now." you glared.
He looked at you and pursed his lips together. He looked away and you let out a laugh from disbelief.
"I had a feeling but I always refused to listen to it. You know why?" you paused. "Because my trust for you was bigger than my insecurities but you just made me believe I was going crazy for such a long time until you grew balls to tell me."
"I just kissed her once-"
"Oh-" you literally heard your heart break inside your chest.
"She KISSED ME-" he mumbled. "I swear, I didn't kiss her first, she just sort of leaned in and I pulled away and I didn't want to say anything, I swear because I thought it was nothing but she just sort of... I don't know... I couldn't stop thinking about it."
"So you want to slag around."
"NO!" he started to get frustrated, shaking his head. "I just- I'm lost right now. I don't know what I want."
"You want her."
"No-" he shook his head. "I don't know... maybe... I don't know."
"Fuck you." you said, slapping him hard on his cheek that it turned red immediatelly. "You just wasted fucking 8 months of my life." and with that you turned around.
----
It's been a long year now since then and you knew her name... not that you truly wanted it but you heard of a short fling between Fred and Angelina Jonson. She was another good friend of his and you wished you figured it out sooner but you haven't.
You've cried. You did. More than just one crocodile tear. You've made a mess from your room and your roommates didn't really mind. They've been patient and graceful with you. They've also been a good distraction from your emotions and you were glad you weren't when Fred made his great parting with fireworks in Hogwarts that year.
You've put yourself together since then. You did and you've heard he's been with that woman, another woman, a few other women and you didn't want to hear none of it. Your friends kept telling you about it, despite you didn't want to. You heard about his shop and all of other things.
Now... well, now you've had your own appartment, which was quite hard with the economy but you wanted your place since you were an early teen. And to think of it, getting an appartment was easier than getting a job that pays well on your education. But it did. You've worked in a small bussiness, grammar checking documents that came in and out. Something close to an accounting. It wasn't what you wanted but it was something.
You haven't seen Fred in a year and a half. He was still on your mind though. He was. It was as if he put a chip into you that keeps rewinding time back to when the two of you were in love.
What you hated more was that you did move on but somehow he was still following you everywhere you went. You didn't see him anywhere and you knew that was a good sign but you were always on the lookout. Close to his shop, you felt anxious and you thought it over what would happen if he came out now and see you. You didn't know. You didn't know anything. Your brain turned off like nothing.
But that never happened and so you were okay with moving on.
---
So how did you end up here?
How did he end up here?
The last thing you told him was that he should have fun with your replacement and he did... for a short time. It really infuriated him that you told him that but Angelina really wasn't the one either. He pushed it as far as he could but something didn't click with her. He didn't feel joy with her, he felt obligated to be with her but he grew tired of being with someone.
He told you he forgets people easily but why did seeing you hurt so much. It was like a sting into his heart- quick but short. He couldn't mumble a word when you stood there and there was no shine in your eyes, no glow on you as he remembered you. There was a smile but not as joyful.
You stood there... still beautiful.
He hated that. He hated that you were still beautiful- more than him... since always.
He turned his head away, not wanting to look at you anymore. He was furious- so darn furious. Why didn't anybody tell him about you?
"There she is!" Remus came over with his hands on your shoulders, gently and formally.
You smiled brightly at him because you adored him as a professor. He was the only professor who made a course feel important and interesting.
"She was my best student and she now works in a small company for accounting- a shame to waste your talents there."
Sirius, he stood up tall and mighty, almost king-like and you felt infatuated by his kingly presence. His eyes were cold blue but his look was warm and safe.
"Aren't you supposed to be in Azkaban or something?" you joked and he laughed.
"Been there, didn't like it much." he retorded back and a few of the group laugh. "She's been working for me too for a bit. Remus recommended her- just for a short time and she turned out to be trustworthy. I bet she went to Hogwarts with you."
Ginny ran to you into a hug immediately and smiled up to you... well not up anymore. She seemed taller than you by a few centimeters. The two of you always had a great friendship, despite Fred. She adored you and you adored her.
"I can't believe you're here!" she exclaimed and you laughed, hugging her tightly.
"Me neither. This man put me through hell."
"I did not." Sirius gasped.
"Don't leave him alone in this house for long ever again."
"We have so much to catch up!"
And you did. With the whole group. You did work with Sirius through Remus. You've never really met him personally, always through some Howlers, letters, some other secret forms of communication and he was always so arrogant through it. He had grumpy and sassy remarks and at first you were professional about it but through time you've had enough and returned the energy. It has mostly been with the documents you've been grammarly correcting. They had been reciepts from big, luxiourious wizard families and you could see in some of those reciepts which were on the bad side, which on the good and which were fleeding and unreliable.
You didn't know about the other participants except Remus, Tonks and Sirius. Soon you figured Moody was one as well when he trampled into your office, asking questions and now you've met others.
You've never been much of a leap of faith person but you've always had a strong urge to stand for fairness and justice. You've fired up when you had to, not knowing until you went to bed that night. Remus saw that in you and he knew that all you needed was a little push.
You've always been reliable and when you promised something, you didn't back out, even if you were extremely anxious. He knew you could never back out from this. A bit manipulating but well, that was the push.
You've looked at Moody with your mouth on the ground.
"Turn into Harry?" you looked at all the others, especially at Remus.
"You don't have to, if you don't want to." said Harry.
"No, it's not that." you laughed. "Couldn't we just turn Harry into some random Muggle and transport him?"
The others thought about it as it could be.
"No!" Moody shouted. "Would you think they'd just let some random Muggle with a stick in his boot let into the Ministry?" he growled at you, approaching you. "No- now dress up lil priss." and he shoved clothes at you.
You looked after him than walked to Harry. "Are you comfortable with this? Us... turning into you?"
He gave you a comforting smile. "Not really but a plan is a plan. My comfort is not really in question." he offered you a smile and you returned it, though you felt a bit sad for the boy, espeicially when others made awful comments about them.
What you didn't notice was the little peeps Fred was giving you when you undressed, easily unclasping your bra under your Harry shirt and throwing it in the corner.
George apperead in front of him as Harry, giving him a grin meanwhile Fred just put his glassess on and pretended not to look.
"You're with me little priss." one of the Harry's told you and winked at you.
As you walked behind fake Harry, you passed what you thought was Fred and he called out your name. "Hey, (Y/n)."
You turned around. "What?"
"Stay safe."
You looked at him and nodded, turning back to the fake Harry, feeling your heart beating fast. Not because of Fred... this was pure fear.
---
Fred just turned back into himself, laughing with his father about the trip when Ginny told him about George. He was running into the living room, finding his best friend bloody on the couch.
"Shit, George." he came to his side.
"I'm howy." George whispered.
"What George?" Fred leaned in worriedly.
"I said..." George took a breath. "I'm holy now Fred."
Fred rolled his eyes and laughed from all the relief. "Only you can crack a joke about a blown up ear."
He looked up, smiling joyfully when the others smiled back, hugging him and George. It wasn't until two were missing. He looked around again. "Where are Tonks and (y/n)?" he asked but the others looked around and nobody was around.
"Remus is waiting for them, I'll go out and check." said Arthur but just as he was about to head out the door, Remus came rushing the door with you in his arms. His shirt was soaked in your blood, Tonks' hands as well.
"MOVE!" shouted Remus as Arthur cleared the table so that Remus could place you there gently.
"It came out of nowhere- I don't know who is was but she was blown off our broom and fell hard on the woods. She hit her head pretty hard." Tonks spoke quickly, like your life depended on it.
Ginny and Molly were right by your side, Remus as well. Fred just watched with his eyes wide open. Everything was gone, all the anger, all of it, out of his system. There was no room for anger, only regret and sadness.
"(y/n)- come on little priss, you have to wake up." Remus slapped your cheeks gently.
It was so sudden. You laid there calmly and like you were awaken from the dead, you jumped up and took a deep breath in.
"Where am I?!" you looked around, feeling your head pounding but everything was extremely bloody.
You heard voices around you but none of them were clear.
"You're safe-" you looked around but you recognised that voice anywhere.
"Professor Lupin? Where's Madam Pince my head is-" you were just about to say something when you started choking on your own blood.
Fred fell on the floor, just by George when he saw the sight.
Arthur saw the terror in Fred's eyes and shouted at the other. "GET HIM OUT OF HERE! ALL OF YOU OUT!"
---
Fred had a whole review of your life together back in Hogwarts. Everything turned back- everything. The small things, the big things and he realised that not once did the two of you had a bad memory together. Not one but until he broke things off.
He was pacing up and down outside the living room. Ginny kept trying to calm him down but he was not consolable. Not until you were completely alright. Not until he comes back and you're breathing and smiling at him.
Finally Arthur came to Fred, only to Fred because he knew of their past together. His expression was grim but it wasn't something Fred could read at the moment. He had you in perfect image. Since always.
"How is she?!" he quickly asked and everybody stood up and listened as well.
"She's living and breathing." he said, putting his hand on Fred's shoulder. "Remus is great at taking care of people, so she's resting with George... however... she kept recalling back a few years..." he looked up worriedly. "She kept asking for Dumbledore and... McGonagall..." he continued. "Remus says it could be shock or some short amnesia."
"What does that mean, dad?" Fred asked but his father only looked away. "Dad!"
"I don't know really... only time will tell when she wakes up."
Fred burst through the door and found his two favorite people laying on the couch. It was odd sight becuase you were there moving your lips and looking at your roommate, fist bumping him.
"Samesiess." George shouted weakley. "I've always wanted a girl roommate."
"Ew." you said, laughing.
"Not like that- Merlin." George said. "If moving my eyes wouldn't hurt I'd roll my eyes right now."
"If I could have the strenght to move my hands I'd show you the middle finger."you replied and could hear him laugh, caughing.
Fred smiled from relief and walked confidently into the room. "Hey, you two are on bed rest, stop talking and laughing." he said, sitting at George's side first. He looked at you and you looked at him.
"George?" you said worriedly. "I didn't know you had a sibling?"
"I have eight of them... or seven... six... I really don't know..."
"I didn't know you had one that looks exactly like you." you furrowed your eyebrows and it was only for a joke. You've always wanted to play a joke but something in Fred's eyes.
Something in his eyes made him come towards you and look at you with the same look he did all those years. The same eyes that you prayed for such a long time ago.
"You don't remember me?" he asked.
And you haven't got any clue why you turned your head and mumbled no. You turned it away from him because you felt something hurt inside of you so much by having him looking at you so close. Your heart was tearing up inside of you all over again and you wished, you prayed, you said you never met him because that was what you truly wanted. You wanted that he never existed in your brain because it just... hurts so much.
"Please leave me alone." you said and kept shutting your eyes.
Fred backed away, terror in his eyes, his heart, rage? Perhaps shock- something was in his chest, burning up his throat. He didn't hear the pain in your throat or the tears that fell from your eyes when you turned away. He couldn't function properly.
"Fred..." he heard George but he just stormed outside.
It was as if something was spinning in his head. It was so horrible.
Ginny came after him, calling out his name, asking what is wrong.
"WHAT'S WRONG?!" he turned around, a big forced smile of disbelief, almost wicked-like. "I ALMOST LOST TWO PEOPLE THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO ME! BESIDES THAT ONE LOST AN EAR, THE OTHER LOST A BLOODY MEMORY OF ME- OF OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP!!!"
Ginny stood there. Usually she would shout something back but she just let him yell.
"Ginny- she-" he started to break down, falling onto his knees and pulling his long legs into a hug.
Ginny walked to his side and hugged him around the shoulders. "It could be temporary... she's just in a shock."
"She remembers George."
"How do you know? She just talked to him like she woud with another person."
"She wouldn't talk to me like this..."
"She would." Ginny added and Fred looked at her, letting a laugh.
"Yeah... she would... she was unpredicatable like that." he said.
"Why did the two of you even break up?"
"I don't know really." Fred mumbled. "But I don't know if I can live through her not remembering us... you know?" he looked at Ginny, then laid his head on her shoulder. "We used to have so much fun... when we were together. She was so snarky and confident..."
"She's always so happy and has such a good heart." Ginny added.
"Yeah... she was perfect and... I really didn't know we would work so well together but I don't know... I thought she would be a fling and I wasn't ready to commit- she just... she deserved so much better than me, I always knew that."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean... look at her and look at me." he lookd at Ginny.
"Fred, she looked at you as if you were the whole world for her, not because of your looks or it was because of your looks, I doubt that though but she didn't want anybody else. She wanted you." Ginny said and Fred looked at her.
"I don't know Ginny."
"You do know, Fred. You were the one who thought you didn't deserve her and with the way you were acting after the two of you broke up, just told me how much she hurt you." she continued without any filter. "And it wasn't that she hurt you... it was that you were furious that you fucked up a good thing."
Fred looked at his sister with a confused look. She didn't use that kind of language. "I don't know when you grew up so much, Ginny." he said and laid his head back on her shoulder. "But... if she forgot about us... and me... I don't know- she was the only person who really knew me and it was hard for her to trust me in the first place. When she did, it felt like I met the right person to feel safe with..."
"Like I said... we can hope that she does remember."
---
You and George were laying in the darkness, both resting. You were glad the whole thing was over, even though you almost couldn't have made it out alive.
"Do you really not remember Fred?" asked George.
There was silence but you looked to the darkness beside you where George was speaking from. "I wish I didn't." you said.
"Why did you tell him then you didn't?" he asked calmly.
You turned your head back to the dark ceiling. "I just... I actually don't know... it was a joke at first..."
"I gathered that but he just saw two of people he cared about almost die in front of his eyes so I believe him for not catching it."
"Then he just looked at me with those eyes... like that he cares and I just... I don't know I wanted to make sure if he does or not so I just said no."
There was a small laugh from the other side. "Did you get your answer?"
"Kind of." you shrugged.
"(y/N)." he said in a serious tone. "He bloody loved you. You didn't know how he was when you weren't around. First he was furious, then he was frustrated when you didn't catch our fireworks, then he was melancholic for a while and all of a sudden he got an urge to go after every girl that walked into the shop- age appropriate to be clear." he stopped for a moment. "He cared, he really did- he didn't know how much he had lost until months later. Angelina couldn't compare to you. He wasn't as ambitious and happy as he was with you. He was absent and lost..."
There was a loud silence after that and you felt as if you have to say something in return. "I didn't know you could preform such long speeches."
You heard shuffling on the other side and suddenly something soft landed on your stomach. "Owww!"
"Shut up, we're both poor right now." he said and you laughed , throwing the pillow back.
---
George was awake and walking. He was just getting suited for the wedding when Fred was tying his bowtie. He walked into the living room and saw your space empty. He looked around and tried to find any traces of your disappearance.
It wasn't until he heard a grunt from the bathroom and you walked out, pinning something into your hair. "Hey Ginny this bandage is so unnecessary-" you looked up and he was staring at you as you stared back. His hands were at the untied bowtie and yours were stucking a flower somewhere where your bandage was loose around your head.
"You remember Ginny?" he asked and you kept looking at him.
You let your hands fall down to your side and you took a few steps forward. "I do." you said and grabbed his tie and started to throw it around into a bowtie.
"Do you remember me?" he asked softly as he looked down at you but you kept your eyes on his bowtie.
You were silent for a while and started to twist it around to stay on its place. "I can do it better." you said and untied it again.
He smiled at that. "A perfectionist, you remember that." he said and he could see a smile on your lips. "Please, (y/n)..." he said and placed his hands on top of yours.
You finally looked up and found his eyes in such pain. You didn't think eyes so joyful could look that tormented. "I remember you Fred." you smiled softly, then looked back at the bowtie. "Just like I remember how to tie a perfect bowtie." you smiled and fixed it on his collar.
He breathed out a long breath of relief. He saw your hands leave his bowtie and he immedately started to fix your bandage and hair flower. "You're beautiful today." he said as he continued to tuck in the last peaces of the bandage before going to the flower. "You're beautiful every day."
You continued to look up, his slick and gentle hands touching your scalp and spreading warmth, even the memories you forgot existed. "I'm sorry." you said and he raised an eyebrow. "I always knew who you were..." you said and his hands dropped, still holding the flower that was supposed to go into your hair.
"You did?"
"I did." you said. "You were so close and you were just- and it really hurt- you really hurt me." you said, looking into his eyes, knowing yours were filling themselves with tears. "It was the first time I saw you so close after such a long time and everything came back- and it hurt so much I wished to forget you." you said, avoiding his gaze.
He didn't say anything. To be honest, he wasn't furious or in shock. "You could have done worse, really..." he gave an awkward smile and you laughed. He put his hand back up to your head and started placing it into your hair.
You only observed and as you did so, his hand fell to your cheek and brushed it with his thumb. The two of you were looking at each other, felt like a whole century since the two of you were looking at each other like this... and it felt like yesterday.
Time truly is an illusion, isn't it.
"Please, give me a second chance." he said, leaning his forehead onto yours.
"Fred..." you sighed.
"I know it's a lot to ask but please- I promise, I won't run away again like I did last time." he said, pulling back and cupping your cheeks. "We're special. I know you know... I know we are... please..."
You smiled, closing your eyes and feeling all this warmth, safety and love over your body.
Hope.
There's nothing wrong with having hope.
There's nothing wrong with second chances.
You looked up at him. "Second chance then."
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uriekukistan · 8 months ago
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I can’t believe u gave me a 2 😦 but real I’d say 2 too, I think that might be my baseline tbh, I’m scared of everyone 😭
But no yea I was also so intimidated of you at first and when we became mutuals I was like????¿¿¿ bc when I read Dancing With a Stranger it was just like everything to me u don’t understand. It’s like someone entered into my brain and looked at my memories and like created a fic of my blorbos made just for me. And like it renewed my feelings about dancing bc before reading it I just didn’t do it much anymore bc I had so many negative feelings attached to it (I think if you’re basing the fic off personal experience you might get what I mean :P). But bc of the fic I kinda associate it with more positive thoughts now (like getting itafushi together >:( ) (I am probably a little too obsessed over some 2D characters but oh well we are both on tumblr so)
But anyway it just started there but I love all your writing (even though it causes me literal pain sometimes but yknow 😓).
This got kinda long eh….. Pls don’t feel pressured to answer this ask if you don’t want to, I just wanna say how much I appreciate your work!
LIZ <33333
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UR SO KIND TO ME I DONT DESERVE U FR
pls i was so intimidated when u started following me & interacting w my fics bc a) cool good artist and b) i had like just started writing and publishing fics again after like 5 years so i really wasnt expecting so much positive feedback, so i was all :&@/$:@2@/$/0:&/@@:@9$!???!&/@/“ when you showed up. genuinely i never expected such nice things to be said abt my work, and definitely with so much attention to everything 😭😭 i was kinda overwhelmed (in a good way!!) and a bit worried the rest of the fic (or any of my other fics) wouldn’t live up to all the praise you left in your first comment 😭😭😭😭😭😭 so yeah i was a bit intimidated bc of that skjskd but im glad i can feel comfortable talking with you now, i hope you can feel the same
anyway im so glad you’ve been enjoying my writing, i’ll keep doing my best to write decent things 🫡 your support really means so much to me, you’ll never know <3
(and yeah a lot of dancing with a stranger is from my experience, sksjks i ended up switching into hip hop because ballet left me with so many negative thoughts. but that fic is kinda one big rin lore drop if u read into it enough…)
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f-ngrl · 2 years ago
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2023.01.16 cika ig live
he has no leg tattoos bc he heard it’s very painful
playing a song that will be released in feb
one song will come out in january, one in february, both with MVs, but he thinks the feb one is good
the one that's coming out in january he made for ppl who don't like him. he's gotta win sure. do you think he could win? :D
should he cut his hair? it doesn’t look good and is annoying to wash etc having it so long. and he doesnt have a gf.
worrying abt washing hair and applying suncream, his mom says to apply sun cream
if he was really handsome he’d let his hair grow really long
a fan wants to meet but he’s 17 and cika is 27, big trouble they can’t meet
his sibling is 17 too
releasing sth in march is also good
fav rapper? korean? mmm personality or music? music, mmm. kor kash, chillin homie, heroincity. these 3. owen too.
but this is interesting. he didn’t have a hyung he wanted to work with but it happened like that, don mills too. he wants to work with blase.
he featured for blase but blase was too busy so he couldnt return the feat yet. he hopes for it
he likes cool ppl.
this time smtm he liked blase the best. he wished chillin homie could have gone to the finals
he didn’t hear all of the songs but he liked how blase talked abt making hiphop (?)
he didnt watch bc he failed&was eliminated and didn’t want to see anymore
but he supported yoon, blase, chillin homie, roh yunha. he wants them to go up and make money
there were 200 ppl at his concert isn’t that great. his friends helped (were there) but still
been to the military? yes (i think)
he first thought going on smtm is no big deal, told himself even if he’s eliminated he can keep going and releasing good music and whatever, but the failure hit him after all (unexpectedly?)
he started rap at 17, following and copying dok2. he really drank a lot back then (drinking jack daniels from the bottle rn lol)
telling sth funny? there's nothing
he's been to japan and jeju with his parents
he went to hongdae on 01.01 and wanted to tteokbokki but there were soooo many ppl he went home (? i didn’t get the funny part)
travis is his fav foreign rapper. next ??baby, prongs?
the diss? it was fun. when no:el got dissed on smtm he posted a story ...
but back in the day he liked no:el's rap. he found he really rapped well.
sth abt drill. and doenjangjjigae (maybe no:el’s story?? idk)
if he was no:el, no if he was “that person”, he’d understand his mood was bad, so he understands he posted the story
nsw yoon's follower count went up really high so j way said he should work with him (lol)
he came to his house in hongdae and they went out to eat gukbap
when he was a hiphop fan he really knew all the news and disses. now he's busy and doesn't really know
yeah if u send a beat he’ll listen
we didn't have a diss fight in a long time in khh
he'll play a song now :D
(i think it's a diss/problematic??, commenters are saying it'll cause trouble)
“did you hear it? :D :D i did it like that :D”
“DONT UPLOAD THIS!”
:D
fan: yeah yeah don't post/release it...
fan2: i couldn't hear it
plays again
fan2: i heard it
(i didn’t so idk)
you heard it? don't start rumors :P
he almost drank the whole bottle of jack daniels otoke
(i don’t have more time)
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exactlysizzlingdonut · 2 years ago
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I. JJTS FINISHED WATCHING MONSTER AND HOLYYYYYYY FUCK
IM SO SAD THAT THIS IS THE END 🙁
SPOILERS!!
NO WAY JOHAN ESCAPED AGAIN BRO HE'S GONNA FUCK EVERYTHING UP 💀
ALSO TENMA IS SUCH A SWEETHEART WHAT THE HELL.. JOINING DOCTORS WITHOUT BORDERS HES A GEM I CANT BELIEVE THE LACK OF TENMA CONTENT AFTER ALL THE GOOD THINGS THAT HE HAS DONE FOR EVERYBODY IN THIS SERIES
ABSOLUTE GEM OF A MAN I CANT EVEN EXPRESS HOW I FEEL ABOUT JIM WITHOUT SOUNDING FERAL AND CRINGE CRONGE (potential verbal appreciation post? It’ll probs be rotting in my drafts HAHSHD)
Also can we talk about how pretty Nina’s voice is when she’s serious, it really reminds me of nausicaa’s voice WHIHC IS A WIN WIN!
Really wanted to find out their real names
ALSO WHEN ROBERTO WAS ADOLF REIN WHATEVER??? THINKJNG ABOIT HOW GRIMMER WAS TALKING ABT HIS BESTIE OMG I NEARLY CRIED BRO.
THAT ALSO LEFT ME WITH MY JAW DROPPED BECAUSE NAW WHAT THE HELL HOW DO U EXPECT ME TO CASUALLY REGISTER THAT INFORMATION WHEN YOU DROP SUCH A BIG BOMB ON ME. AT LEAST WARN ME 😀
Johan being a menace to society (in the worst way possible) never fails to make me giggle
Adding on, Roberto is a meme of a character cos just when you think everything is going okay, he makes an appearance and suddenly you know damn well everything is not going okay anymore
ALSO I DIDNT KNOW GRIMMER WAS GOING TO FUCKING DIE??? WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT
FRANZ BONAPARTA BEING SUCH A SISSY,, GOING ON A MF TANGENT OF HOW HE FUCJED UP LIKE YEAH NO SHIT STFU
wim being so adorbs <33
EVA AND MARTIN BRO THEY HAD IT GOING;;;(;;(::-6;;) WHY DID HE HAVE TO DIE
Eva redemption arc I mean queen was lowkey killing it throughout the series.. sometimes questionable but otherwise ily (but I HATED how she treated tenma 😒)
NINA GETTING THE BEST SCORES GO YOU QUEEN YOU DESERVE IT
What was Johan and Nina’s mum doing bro- did that favouritism play a role in this outrage.. guess we’ll never know!
OH NOT TO MENTION MONSTER SOUNDTRACK SLAPS SOOOO HARD. SKIPPING THE OPENINB FEELS LIKE A CRIME. FULLY LISTENED TO THE ENDING IN THE LAST EPSODE BC YK I WANT TO GO OUT PROPERLY AND DAMN IT’S RLLY NICE? BUT I DONT THINK I WOULDVE BEEN ABLE TO LISTEN TO IT AT THE END OF EACH EP BECAUSE MAN THESE CLIFF HANGERS AND HOOKS MAKE ME GO FERAL FOR THE NEXT EP
WHENEVER “THE SEEDS OF TIME” STARTED PLAYING IN A SCENE I WOULD GET SO EXCITED IT’S PROBABLY MY FAV OST RN. OMG AND “Present” IT’S SUCH A CUTE OST AARGRGEGSGESHSGDFFEDD
THIS AJIME IS SO GOOD HOW COME I BARELY SEE OR HEAR PPL TALKING ABT IT… ???DEFINITELY TOP 3 BRO MAYBE EVEN TOP 2 (idek what my anime ranking list looks like 👹)
LUNGE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT ARC REAL?? When he said he’d buy a beer for grimmer n they can talk about this whole case 💔💔
Nah Lunge was mad funny, his only personality trait was hunting tenma down,, then half way through the series he goes “I’ve made a fatal mistake ���” n reconsiders his life decisions. The audacity,, and I was loving it.
Milan bro 😢 AND TENMA TELLING THE KIDS TO STUDY HARD AND NOT GIVE UP?? I NEED A TENMA IN MY LIFE.
DIETER IS SUCH A CUTIE PATOOTIE OMLLL
okay after some reflection johan saying "which one didn't she need" or stmhn like that at the end BAFFLED me. it made me really sad too
oh yeah HAHAHAHA johan being an iconic cross dresser. you can't tell me he wasn't rocking that outfit when he was with suk... also when he dressed as young anna HIS FACE WAS SO FUNNY "welcome back! :D" bro is so devious HEGHAHSDG
just thhnking about that tenma push up scene it had me giggling and swinging my feet OGH LET;S NOT FORGET WHEN HE WAS LIKE "good girl" TO NINA .... that's the stuff i want to hear frfr
on a serious note though, he's such a good father figure. this man would make the best father ever.. i've seen multiple comments saying that even johan saw him as a father figure and LORD DOES THAT MAKE ME UPSET :(((((
that nameless monster book spoke facts at the end tho, johan is such a beautiful name no joke
his hair looks so fluffy too
HAHA no how about the scream he scrumpt i was lowkey embarrassed like johan you can scream sm better than that.
idk why but he's so fine when he drops the ground- both times in the library and in the rain. i swear it's the hair and his back
yk this anime reminds me of that one tiktok sounds with the garden song that says "no matter where you are, everyone is always connected". it's quite cool to think about it holistically, but in a sense it's also so surreal, and even scary. this masterpiece is an extreme reflection of our world imo, with many elements of truth and reality. anyways i'll leave this kind of stuff for another post (draft lol). but honestly though, i really liked this series. maybe since it's older, it has that sense of authenticity?? not invalidating other anime series but idk. i really enjoyed it.
RAHAHGSHJDHFGHJG LET'S STAY TOGETHER BEING TENMA'S FAVOURITE SONG OMG THIS IS KILLING ME HES SO my heart is aching sm..
im jus reading about tenma's childhood rn :')
WAIT THETRS;S SOMETHING CALLED ANOTHER MONSTER?/ IS THIS A SEQUEL OR SMTHN... well yk what time it is then!
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obsessed-yan · 1 year ago
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a little vent ׂׂׂׂૢ་༘࿐
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my "friend" (using quotes cuz honestly idk if i rlly consider him a friend anymore cuz of this coupled w past stuff thats happened) is being a total pos whiney asshole
what happened was, last week i noticed my debit card had transactions on it that i knew for a fact i didnt make. i contacted some1 from my bank to dispute the charges to get my money back; guy walked me thru it n i cancelled my card. few days later i seen a small amount refunded but knew it wasnt the full amount. friend n i had plans to go to target friday n maybe get smthn to eat, well bc of the stuff w my card i decided i just wanted to go into the bank n talk w someone irl so since i was off work early i asked if we cld go there first n hopefully get everything settled (he said ofc n i did for the most part, the charges started all the way back in april of 2023 which is wild to me that i didnt notice it until last week- i got part of my money back right away so thats good). after that we went to eat then to target (i wanted to go cuz of the cute honeypot i kept seeing on my tiktok fyp also got one ver of jungkooks album n a bts book anyway) i got very frustrated while we were at target so after i paid for my stuff there i was ready to go home.
then the next day at work one of my co-workers asked me how my date went n i said i didnt go on a date..? when i got home i msgd him n asked why said co-worker asked me that; it doesnt help that also that day 2 separate customers asked me abt my ex or made a comment abt how i shldntve broken up w my ex, its been almost 6 months get over it. why do u ppl care so much its none of ur business n also i got yelled at n cussed out by 2 other seperate customers but the date thing happened first n was the main thing that ruined my mood.
he said he thought it was one n asked her for advice. i said it wasnt it was just basically running errands n that i thought ive made it perfectly clear im not n nvr will be interested in him in that way, ever. boundaries were re-established as well that night.
then the next day (sunday) right once i get clocked into work one of my managers pulls me into our accting office to talk w me abt friend bc he called off for his shift n was crying. she knows he likes me n is basically obsessed w me but that i dont like him back n she knows weve been friends n hav talked together for a while now at this point but she asked for all the details that day. i told her as much as i cld b4 i was needed up front. she basically said that he was upset that i was upset abt what happened the night b4 n that he was jealous of one of my other friends n is worried for my safety bc of said other friend. my manager said shes worried abt me to but bc of him n said i shldnt talk to him for a while.
i confronted him abt that (not abt the jealousy of other friend part cuz i honestly forgot abt that bit until just now) he claimed that all he did was call off cuz his stomach hurt n he didnt know why our manager talked to me. he showed me some ss between him n the co-worker that asked me abt friday n i said i wasnt mad abt her knowing i was mad cuz she called it a date cuz u told her it was one when it wasnt n that i was also mad from our manager talking to me abt him. i told him not to talk to our manager abt what i told him and what did he do, he asks her abt smthn i said. like are u fucking an idiot wtf!?
then he said his plan was to leave me alone "until things die down" THERES NOTHINF THAT NEEDS TO DIE DOWN FUCKING MAN UP N HAV AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION W ME FOR ONCE WHERE U DONT TRY TO LIE OR PUT BLAME ON SOMEONE ELSE FOR SHIT U OBVIOUSLY DID and stop talking to other ppl abt me its weird!!!
im sick n tired of whenever smthn happens w him i get asked abt it like what happened w him, idfk n frankly idc
i am so fucking done w him n his bs. he can try to make me feel bad or get pity from me all he wants but im seriously just so over all this bullshit. im not talking to him anymore fuck u. last time he stopped talking to ME cuz of how much i liked 🍫 n i wld talk w him abt it cuz i didnt hav any1 else to, plus we were friends i thought it was ok. but he said i was "unsafe" for him to talk to. i told my manager abt that.
its just like, when were talking before like the first time, he did basically the same shit when my friends wld point out bad things hed say or do n he wld deflect then default to being a crybaby abt it. like ur in ur l8 20's at best, learn how to take responsibility for ur actions man!! like are u joking w me rn
think ill hav to cut it short for rn, im getting tired n cant think str8 lmao
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magnoliamyrrh · 2 years ago
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something that really bothers me actually is that while i still care abt "sex workers" ie. the 1% w the privilege of choice, most of them don't actually give a damn abt us, they prepetually talk over us, and some seem to outright despise us
like no, i dont care abt the "right" of the 1% to do what they want when the price being payed is sexual slavery. but i do Care about Them because i Know so many still end up traumatized and exploited. and many have spoken on this. (ex)onlyfans&similar models talking about how even just on camera, in their own homes, theyd be pressured by hundreds or thousands of men to do things they didnt want to do to themselves, to degrade themselves in ways that traumatized them. how even they would have to shoot on days they didnt want to become they needed money, do things they didnt want to bc they needed money. how theyd end up getting so many horrid degrading comments and rape threaths and even stalkers. how so many of them started selling nudes and porn before they even turned 18, some doing it for years before - which is becoming more and more common w the internet, everywhere - this happens very frequently and openly even on tumblr... those girls dont just become "sex workers" the day they turn 18 and keep doing it. how so many of them entered when they were 18-19 and inexperienced and couldn't handle such insane audiences of men. how they had their "content" purchesed and watched by ex's, coworkers, bosses, family members, with little they could do against it. how after they stopped it was very hard to get a job bc they'd keep being turned down when their accounts were found - a vicious cycle pulling them into "sex work" they didnt want to do anymore bc now they had little choice; how many didnt think abt that when everyone told them to start at 18-19 because it would be fun and empowering and great. et cetera. i, of all people, think of trisha paytas whose pissed me off for a million reasons, but who recently started talking abt how shes starting to have more conflicted feelings abt the "sex work" she did, that maybe it didnt do her all well and good. and the whole internet jumped on her venting abt her personal experiences as someone whose done this for years for "shaming sex workers." how even though shes made millions she was still traumatized, she did a lot of it while high off her ass and v not okay, shes someone whose very mentally ill, has a history of csa and abuse, and is very vulnerable, and that millions aside none of this was good for her either
i think abt how many ex dominatrixes ive heard talk abt how it was still traumatizing; speaking in idk theoreticals and stereotypes, what "sex worker" could have more power and control than a dominatrix whose doing it not bc of need for money? except, nope, still traumatizing bc she was still being used, degraded, bought, objectified by men who barely see her as fully human. almost like this is all inherently exploitative. i think abt how even "sex workers" who do "jobs" which don't inherently involve sexual intercourse, such as escorting or pole dancing or etc, many times they still end up having to perform sexual acts, eigher in times of particular economic need, or they were pressured into it, or they ended up at a worse "establishment" who forced them, or still ended up getting sexually assaulted or beaten or threatened or raped often.
the whole industry is such shit that even the 1% of more privileged ones still dont have it good. they still end up traumatized and sexually assaulted. the whole industry is still sexist, pedophilic, racist, dehumanizing, violent and exploitative up to the very top.
i care abt that. i care abt this shit no longer being normalized and existing bc it harms essentially everyone involved - even among the 1% there is a 1% whose lucky to not have had bad experiences. but. so many of them dont care the other way around lol. dont care that the thing theyre participating in when they dont have to is inherently tied up with human sex trafficking and pedophilia etc, that those same websites theyre posting on and making money on are the same one making money off of that shit and fueling sexual slavery. and more than not care frankly, theyre insanely hostile to any sex trafficking victim or (ex)(child)prostitute who says anything against the industry. they dont give a damn abt everyone elses suffering. they pretend that ppl w the privilege of choice like them are a majority and sex trafficking a minority, when in fact it is they who are the minority. they think being OF "sex workers" gives them the right to speak over any (ex)prostitutes, and theyre the ones feeding into this crazy idea that "swerfs" exist and somehow abolitionists clearly want "sex workers" dead... like god damn. i still care but so many of them actually dont give a shit abt anything other than Yea Well But Its Good For Me Individually
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yelenasdiary · 2 years ago
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Hi, I just wanted to tell smth, bcs i feel like i need to "vent" to someone that doesnt know me. I hope its alright.
I knew I was gay ever since I was 11, (Im 18 now) I never talked openly about this, although I came out to my sister when I was about 15. She was completely supporting and the only person that knew about it. Of course Im openly gay online, because I can be anonymous that way.
Im not someone that can talk about their feelings, i always just kept everything to myself, not even my bestfriend knows Im gay. Recently however I became a little more open. I have a lot, and I mean A LOT queer people at my school, so this topic is pretty popular there, and everytime someone asked me abt my sexuality, I just said that its complicated.
Today I talked with a friend about sexuality and everything, she came out to me as ace and asked abt me, so I surprisingly said that im lesbian. Comepletely honestly. After the conversation about out sexualities I felt a lot lighter and more free, so after coming back home I got this weird confidence and decided that after 7 whole years of being closeted, Im going to tell my mom.
She was accepting and completely supported me, said that the only thing she needs is for me to be happy. Surprisingly she even came out to me as bi.
Now please dont misunderstand me, I know that a lot of people end up with very bad response, sometimes even getting kicked out, I know that Im very privileged bcs of that reaction from my mom, however instead of feeling light, happy or finally free, I just have this kind of dread. I dont know how to describe it. I feel so weird that my mom knows now this big part of me, its a completely different feeling than what I have with friends. In a way I even regret it. Im scared that my mom will see me different now.
I think Im maybe just used to this whole privacy of my sexuality, thats why the feeling of regret.
What do you think about this?
Also, after telling my mom, I kind of feel free to tell my bsf now, I dont know if I should tho. And also my other friends, most of them (if not all lmao) are queer themselfs, so its obvious It would be okay.
I asked my mom if i should tell my bsf, and she said no, that its a private thing and no one needs to know about it. This kind of gives me iffy vibes, like why treat it like some kind of taboo?
I want to live honestly, and be true to myself, without needing to hide
sorry for this long text
Firstly - I think you are extremely brave for coming out to anybody! it's not easily and it can be uncomfortable so I just want to say that even though I don't know you but I am very proud of you!
It can be scary and uncomfortable when you first come out to anybody, it's that voice in the back of our minds that try to convince us that we shouldn't have told anybody because we've kept it in for so long that we start to tell ourselves that there is somewhat of a second option. I'm not sure if you know what I mean but that's how I felt when I came out to my mother. It wasn't ideal, she made a homophobic comment about a lesbian couple chill in the back seat of their car and I sort of snapped at her and told her what I identify as and now she's trying to adjust to that.
My mother sometimes makes comments where and there that make me annoyed but I can't expect her to understand straight away so I've been giving her time to get used to the imagine of her daughter not wanting to have their own kids and that I may one day marry a woman.
Secondly - I think if you want to come out to others, go for it!! You should be proud of who you are and it's not something you have to keep to yourself anymore. Sure, if people have something negative to say about it, that is on them. You are a lovely person and have a wonderful heart. You are loved and most certainly wanted!
You and everybody else who sees my blog will always have a safe place to come and vent or share news no matter how big or small it might fell.
Again, congratulations on coming out! I'm so proud of you and sending you lots and lots of love!! Stay well x
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itsonlystrange · 4 years ago
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Can we please stop invalidating Bylers or Milevens. This ship war has gone on for too long. We each have our own side of tumblr/twitter/Instagram and nobody is asking for either to go on the other side. Some people WILLINGLY go onto Mileven tumblr or twitter just to get mad at Milevens who are minding their business and some people WILLINGLY go onto byler tumblr/twitter to comment hate and then get mad abt it when THEY DID THIS TO THEMSELVES.
Mileven and Byler are some peoples comfort ships. And so invalidating either when nobody knows what’s going to happen in the actual show is just rude. We won’t know until season four, and whatever happens, we have to remember to be respectful about it. I don’t want to see any Milevens calling Bylers delusional or any Bylers making fun of Milevens bc their ship wasn’t end game.
BOTH SHIPS ARE GREAT!
And you have to admit, both Mileven and Byler have had some amazing moments. It’s not like either don’t have any potential
As someone who used to ship Mileven for two years straight, I see the potential they had. And even though I don’t ship them anymore and will probably be disappointed if they are end game, I won’t go around having a hissy fit and you shouldn’t either.
Mike and Eleven have had some soft and cute moments, whether you ship it or not, they have. Mike and Will have had some soft and cute moments, whether you like it or not, they have.
Mike loves both of them, whether that be platonic or romantically. He loves them. And he’d probably die for either of them. So can we PLEASE stop pretending that Mike doesn’t care about El, or that he doesn’t care about Will. Stop pretending like when Mike visits the Byers he’s only going to spend time with El. And stop pretending that if Byler were to happen Mike would forget about El’s existence.
I believe that no matter what happens, Mike will continue to love and respect both of them. He will always and I mean ALWAYS care about Eleven and Will. That’s a fact. He is a caring person.
So no matter what happens, we have to respect the duffers choice.
And I’m not saying we can’t have an opinion! We totally can! We are allowed to critique this type of media! That’s okay!
However saying “byler will never be canon you’re delusional. Go get help and go to a mental institution because you are stupid.” That is NOT an opinion. You’re invalidating someone’s comfort ship.
And saying “Mileven is horrible and Mike hates el and el hates mike and they dont care about eachother.” That’s NOT an opinion. That’s invalidating someone’s comfort ship.
So regardless of what happens, (because they BOTH have a great change at being end game ships) we must remember that the directors have had this planned for awhile! So it’s not like they’re pulling it out of their asses if they make Mileven or Byler end game. It would have been made to be from the start.
You don’t have to agree with how Mileven or Byler is presented. You don’t have to ship either. You don’t have to find them cute. You don’t have to do any of that. But you DO have to respect it and it’s shippers.
And admit it, Mike is a total softie with both El and Will. And I know that whatever happens it’ll be good. And even if I personally wouldn’t enjoy an end game Mileven, I would NEVER go out of my way to invalidate that. And even though I WOULD enjoy an endgame byler, I would FEEL for the Milevens because- imagine having your comfort ship not end up to be canon! That shit hurts! And same for if Byler isn’t canon!
I hope that all shippers can see from everyone’s point of view (unless you ship minorxadult, or anything disgusting like that.)
And I hope all Milevens and Bylers can learn to respect eachother.
And PLEASE for the LOVE OF GOD, I know that if Byler becomes canon we’re gonna wanna get cocky, and I know the same goes for if Mileven is end game, but please don’t go around saying “I told you so!” It’s never fun and it just makes people feel worse. People are ALLOWED to have faith in something. They’re ALLOWED to enjoy a ship.
And FRIENDLY REMINDER:
Statements like “Byler is endgame” or “Mileven is end game” shouldn’t be taken seriously.
Even I, who always says Byler will be end game, have no idea what will happen in season four. So we can dream all we want but it’s all up to the duffers.
SO PLEASE: let shippers have faith in their ship. Mileven and Byler are pretty vibey and I try to respect it as much as I can.
AND ALSO:
To anyone who has seen my previous Byler vs Mileven posts, I want you to know that although I do have my own opinions on Byler and Mileven- I never want you to stop shipping what you want! And I will always respect whatever you choose to ship (aslong as it’s legal and appropriate) this is just a fictional show! None of its real! And I hope you all know that I love Mileven shippers with my heart, even if I don’t love the ship. And I think both are awesome!
LETS ALL BE RESPECTFUL <3 it’s not that hard! Unless you are a toxic shipper, I will respect whatever you choose to ship. (Again, unless it’s inappropriate, but that goes without saying.)
And whatever becomes end game, I hope we can respect the brothers choice. Because at the end of the day, none of us know for sure what’s going to happen. And so we should just keep our heads up and respect everyone’s side of the fandom. And we need to stop getting so pressed when someone says they don’t ship something that you happen to. Not everyone will share your opinions. And as long as that person isn’t invalidating anything or hating on you, then you should respect them too!
Sorry, anyways. I went on a rant there.
TLDR; ship what you want and respect all shippers please! Even if you don’t ship it personally, you HAVE to respect a ships existence and when it comes to byler and Mileven, you gotta admit that both of them have a good shot at being end game ships. Whatever happens, I’ll always respect Mileven shippers and the ship itself even if I don’t like the ship personally. And If it is end game, then congrats! I love all shippers (as long as it’s appropriate) and I hope you do too!
PS: I’m tagging this In the Mileven tag but if anyone is bothered by that I will take it out!
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delicrieux · 4 years ago
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hi miss dee, i think the person who made the initial thread abt ash deleted it cuz i cant find it anymore 😓 but yeah i saw it and it has screenshots of her discord chat being really racist to asians and ash even commented something about hoping to not get sick bcs she ate chinese food the dau before. i think the time stamp was around 2020, so it was really disappointing to see how she acted then. she did adressed the issue https://twitter.com/Sugoi_Ash/status/1365147006495318018?s=19
but idk, as part of the asian community, i feel kinda icky about accepting that apology tho.
hiya babes. u absolutely dont have to accept her apology if u feel its not genuine, or if u just dont want to accept it.
also idk about the jokes abt asians & bats but like 💀 idk the lith discourse ive seen at the very start of corona (on discord too) were just jokes abt corona (the beer) & ppl buying it in bulk so idk if “ppl were making jokes like tht at the time” is a valid excuse. at best her jokes were very distasteful at worst just plain offensive.
adding the twt thread a helpful nonnie provided me so you all can check it out for urselves!!
the r slur... & the blm comments (which from what ive gathered she was talking abt looting + antimaskers but still grouping them w blm...its a no from me) 💀💀💀
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marshmallowprotection · 4 years ago
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Hello, maybe you coukd give me some tips. I send you that ask already but it means ght be deleted by tumblr and it was all messy and ugly.
So I have one childhood friend, we used to do everything together till highschool. Often she was my only friend, like now. We slowly started to distance from each other sonce she has a boyfriend. For all those years I did my best to accept him and all, told myself that duh she is not obliged to spent time only with me even in situation when she spent less and less time with me. Sometime I had a bit trouble to fully accept bf because sometime when they argued she was venting to me and I felt like his is hurting her but she refused to break up with him. Boy eas very insecure, no friends and so on and one day around graduating junior hight school she wanted to break up with him but he said something like he is gonna hurt himself if she will, or just drop out the school. So she wanted to wait at least until he graduate, but she waited longer. Then just after we graduated hightschool she broke up with him like she had enought. It was prolly a mistake but after she vent I said one or two things about him concerning past events and I said 'wow finally'. After a while they made up and she said she just missend him. I promissed mtself I will never comment whatever she tell me about them, unless in a good way.
Well... the point is that I am probably jellous, that she doesnt want to spent time with me anymore. Alway if I ask her out I give her to eventually pick the date, if nit today then maybe tomorrow etc y know introvert way :D And im trying to save this friendship? She is not the person busy 24/7, unless maybe when she is in uni or we count playing games as being busy. I play games too sometime.
Sometime it seems like she tries to avoid me and dont want to tell me anything. One day I was talking to her in cafee and she was just fidgeting with her phone. She didnt even like heck the socialmedia, just switching between random (system?) folders on the phone. When I asked abt it why she doesnt listen, she said she wanted to do sth but forgot what. Another time I havent seen her for months and she alway soent holidays 1 month her bf comes to her (he lives abroad already I guess) and I dont want to disturb them of feel like third wheel and the other month she come to him. So like week before she pnanned to go I asked her to go out next day. She said she cant. So asked another day, she answered : but I go to my bf. So I surprised that its that soon and sad I missed the oportunity: oh really? When? She: on Friday me: but its Monday(?)(no answer) so...? She: ught I know ;;; but lately I dont really feel like going anywhere :(
Well... maybe I'm childish but I felt sad.
I'm also jellous that they even celebrate each others bdays altought she never do that bc of religious reasons and I've always respected that.
Once I asked her what is with us, we barely talk for last few years and I feel like she is avoiding me. She had no Idea what I was talking about, she felt like everything was the same.
I was told to not have much hope or expectations toward her bu maybe try to text her or maybe arrange a meeting once in a while and try not to become bitter.
The other one sait that that how adulthood looks like, we become busier with private issues and so on and I may act childish and selfish, but as far as I know except for time she go to uni or to her bf she is not that busy, definitely not that busy not to have time to meet with me more than once in a whole year (or none) when we live ~20min apart by foot. I dont want to be burden to anyone or feel like third wheel so I dunno what to do. I have problem with finding friends, she was my only one friend (?) for years. I dont trust ppl easly
I wanted to do more things together outside since we both used to or still do soent too much time on the computer but well... you know, together is easier.
Since I have to do it on my own maybe you have some ideas? Thats stupid wuestion I guess since you dont know my environment. Jogging and biking wont work I guess since I dont have proper bike. I wanted to plant some flowers but I was afraid I screw everything up since im kida kid who grow up in the bubble and Im not sure how to do basics and nobody wanted to help me and its too late already... Walk is fine but I prefer places far from road and since I'm not supposed to go to the forest that I love I dont have many spots to go.
I am sorry for long post. Any even tiny help would be appreaciated. I hope thats not much of the problem, have a nice day or night :)
-PineconeAnon
I do think that it's time for you to let go of the friendship. I know that's hard to do but people grow apart and that's okay. It's okay. You'll be able to make better relationships and move forward but you have to learn to let go and keep walking forward. It sounds like you're holding onto this friendship because you want to keep going on like it's the past but...
It doesn't work like that. Change happens. It hurts sometimes but it's not a bad thing. You can reflect on this with time and learn how to be able to accept it. You need someone that wants to hang out with you and relax with you. It's not childish to be upset but it's important to see when people just... don't have time for you anymore and feelings change.
It just seems like you both have a fundamental misunderstanding and if you can't talk that through, then it's not working. You can try to talk about it but it seems like it'd be better to just let go. She doesn't think there's something wrong but you do. If you feel stress around her instead of friendship, it's not great.
But, that's up to you, you know? You decide your relationships what you want them to be.
I don't really have great advice for making friends as an adult. I'm not exactly going out and interacting with people. I can suggest finding a new set of friends online by joining Discords and interacting with the fandoms you're in because that's how I've made friends. It's easier to do that if you're anxious about making friends outside.
Try new hobbies. Take a deep breath. If you want to garden, try it out. You're not going to be perfect the first time. It's a learning process at anything and you have to just try. You don't get to live it if you don't try. You have to consider your limits and reflect on what is going to be the easiest thing to try.
It's never too late.
Try to start small and work your way up.
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fansofvow · 4 years ago
Text
im here to clear up some things.
edit: just scroll to the bottom for the tl;dr cause this is a lot but i think its necessary so it doesnt seem half assed or glossed over.
if you can’t tell by the perpetual lowercase here, its mod galen! i figured i should address the drama coming on here from a different perspective. no, this isn’t mod atlas dumping all her problems on me, she’s already tried talking abt it herself - its me deciding to speak up on my own accord after seeing the shitfest my dash has become.
keep in mind - i will be happy to discuss any of this with you guys civilly, but im not going to be kind to nasty anon hate. dm us, or just send us a polite ask, and we can sort things out! if we’ve done something ignorant, i promise you we will educate ourselves and apologise sincerely.
the galen thing
first and foremost - i saw some people saying its sus that i, an nb mod, was added to the blog right after the galen debacle. it was not to save face or hide behind me! ironically, the reason i got added now of all times was because mod atlas and i were discussing what was going on, i gave my thoughts on the matter, she asked me if id be interested in being a mod!
mod atlas then thanked me for my insight and educated her on the issue and figured it would be a good idea to actually have someone in the lgbt+ community on the blog - that way, these silly ignorant mistakes will not happen again. i wont let it happen. not to mention she’s getting pretty busy in her personal life so she thought itd be a good idea to bring someone else on board.
i believe that people can learn from their mistakes - i was also hurt by that misgendering galen post. i bitched about it too. but i saw that everyone involved apologised, genuinely didn’t mean it, and promised to do better. and i’ll hold them to that! but im not gonna start talking trash abt them on other peoples blogs just bc they made a rly ignorant post. if you’re cis, i really don’t want you speaking up on this matter anymore. its not your fight. youre not in the position to forgive nor condemn any of these people. trans folk, im not going to tell you that anyone deserves your forgiveness, that’s up to you, but what they do deserve is your decent respect. unless they say theyre blatantly against trans people - aka make a deliberately transphobic statement rather than one made out of pure ignorance - in that case, all bets are off lmfao. i dont take that shit lightly and ill come for you too.
to the person who made the misgendering galen post - you know who you are, i dont want to send you any more hate than you’ve already been getting so im not going to @ you, but please. reupload your apology about the post, cause i scrolled through your blog for ages and didn’t find it - if i didn’t see it reblogged on this blog, i wouldn’t have known you apologised. i wouldn’t have felt like your blog is a safe space for nonbinary folk. its important you own up to mistakes and keep the apology there.
the nahara thing
look. im poc. im also straight up sick and tired of lovestruck’s mistreatment of dark-skinned characters, especially black characters (why do half of them look like recoloured white people....?) like nahara. its important for our representation that she does well! that way, we can get more diverse li’s on our roster in the future instead of every skinny white person getting the spotlight and 9238428903 seasons. (i love you onyx and juliette, but what the fuck.)
that being said - i dont think what mod atlas said was that bad, especially considering it wasn’t here on fansofvow, the only thing reblogged onto here being her english lesson on galen’s route with a relieved comment abt how thats a series started right.
please understand - we’ve been afraid of the new characters’ routes ever since the strike. a lot of writers left, a lot are likely to be leaving, and we’re concerned about the status of the app. this wasn’t to shoot down nahara, but out of pure relief that we’re not seeing a downwards spike in the writing quality post-strike.
that being said - if you think nahara’s route is well written, and great - thats awesome! please give her all the love for us, cause we do want her to do well. she’s just not our cup of tea. can we please respect that instead of slamming this blog’s name? nahara is still doing well, im seeing hype for her everywhere- one or two negative opinions wont change that. we’re not even going to a leave a review in-app, which is the most important form of community feedback to lovestruck.
the posts have been deleted. please, give it a rest. keep loving nahara. quit the drama.
the nikolai’s route in school thing
all the students that saw the screenshots were 18+, and none of the examples were sexual in nature. teenagers get shown romeo and juliet in school, a play ending in a double suicide, but showing adults a few lines of good writing from a 17+ app is bad? its not like she showed them a scene from a straight up porno, its just a story that happens to have sexual themes in it. its up to the students whether they read the whole story or not, and they’re mature enough to handle it. that’s all im going to say abt the matter, cause im no teacher,
and lastly...
i see a lot of people saying that we, fansofvow, need to “set an example” cause we think we’re a “fandom leader” or somehow think we’re on some high horse cause of clout? i have no idea where this started because ik for a fact mod atlas has never referred to herself as a “fandom leader” or anything like that, and guys, we’re not that up ourselves. we don’t even have tons of followers! we’re just doing our thing to support VOW. please don’t put words in our mouths.
with all that out of the way, i hope we can move on and make the community a happier place for everyone.
-mod galen
tl;dr: people make ignorant mistakes sometimes. mod atlas has apologised for reblogging the post abt misgendering galen, wants nahara to do well, only showed non-sexual writing examples of nikolai to 18+ students and never called herself a “fandom leader.”
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ajokeformur-ray · 4 years ago
Text
I watched Joker tonight and typed out my thoughts as they occurred to me. Unedited; typos are guaranteed. I did this a few months ago and really enjoyed looking back at my thought process and I wanted to do it again so that I can look back and know that what I feel is real and true in my darkest times.
You're welcome to skip this; it's under a cut for ease of doing so. Warnings for occasional sexual comment lmao. There’s no self shipping in this, I don’t think.
word count: 2, 575.
I’M SOBBING and I’ve only just pressed play.
Heart squeeze Chest much ow
THERE HE IS
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
Nooooo baby omg don’t pretend - let yourself hurt if it hurts. Don’t pretend. 
Carnival Carnival Carnivalllllllll 😍😍😍😍😍
I am a Simp for one clown and his name is Carnival
Someone help him, I????
That sign hit Arthur as hard as my love for him did ksksksk
MY EYES BE LEAKIN💔💔💔💔💔
bb nooooo
Oh honey let me kiss those bruises and replace the marks of violence with love, hm? You’re safe with me.
Breathe, my love. Don’t fight the laughter. Let it out, let yourself go. 
Screams into a pillow because????? much sad must kiss
“have you been keeping up with your journal?” LIKE HE HAS TIME
oHHHHH boi’s close to losing his shit
Do it, Artie. Give ‘em hell.
“I think I did” YOU TELL HER!!💖💖💖
I want to be his cigarette. Where’s Satan??? I got a new deal for my blackened soul which he took at half price😂😂😂😂
I’d have my hand between the door and his head so fuckin fast I swear
“I just don’t wanna feel so bad anymore” yep SAME
ohhhh peekaboo🥺🥺🥺
this makes me giggle ksksksk i watch this scene when i feel sad bc it always makes me happy for the time it’s on
he’s so good with kids; he doesn’t have to try and think about what’s funny, he just does it, he’s himself and it works
FUCK OFF LADY CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S STRUGGLING????
give
him
back
his
card
casually wrinkling my nose against tears lmao
ohhh the way he looks up at those stairs from the bottom
i can feel his exhaustion
me too, my love
step step step step
god i wanna get him the fuck outta gotham
and into my arms and a soft, warm blanket
“eat. you need to eat” LITERALLY WHAT I TELL MYSELF EVERY DAY IN HIS VOICE BC OTHERWISE I JUST WOULDNT EAT???? I’m losing so much weight asdfghjk its not enough tho
SUPAH RATS
Did Arthur come up w that joke or was it actually a Murray joke????
HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT IM CRY??🥺🥺🥺🥺
“I WAS PUT HERE TO SPREAD JOY AND LAUGHTER”
YOU DO BABY, YOU DO!!!! EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!
go deepthroat a cactus randall - youre already a bit of a prick so🙃🙃🙃
“THE GUYS THINNK YOU’RE A FREAK BUT I LIKE YOU”
HOYT. YOU CAN GO SIT ON A CACTUS TOO
FUCK OFF
😡😡😡😡
“WHY WOULD ANYONE STEAL A SIGN”//”WHY DOES ANYONE DO ANYTIHNG?” HOYT YOU’RE SO FUCKING ILLOGICAL HERE IM????? ERIKA DOES NOT (ALSO WILL NOT LMAO IM A STUBBORN BIITCH) COMPUTE
Can arthur fuck me like he pounds the trash/????🥵🥵👀
those dark curls.... that crooked tooth... must kiss.🥺🥺🥺
pennys casual cruelty makes me so fucking angry
foreshadowingggggg ~  *JAZZ HANDS*
ugh the way he dances with that gun im👀🥵🥵🥵
he enjoys the power of it and his breathing gets deeper asdfghjk
clumsy baby omggggg i just COOED 🥺🥺🥺🥺
okay maybe im stupid but i genuinely dont understand this “senior who needs to graduate” skit i’m??? how is being an intro to western civ student funny im???? someone explain???
but also dont bc fuck that guy lmao arthur’s hilarious
true millenial humour (and brit humour lmao we’re dark asf)
THE WAY ARTIE TWIRLS HIS FINGERS AROUND HIS HAIR AND DANCES IN HIS SEAT IM???🥺🥺🥺
wanna curl up on his lap at night when hes writing and go to sleep with a 
blanket around our bodies🥺🥺🥺🥺
when arthur wears a shirt at home you KNOW it’s a daydream
THAT CROOKED TOOTH IM WANT KISS.
WAIT IS IT CALLED STAND UP COMEDY BC YOU STAND UP... AND ITS COMEDY???
23 FUCKING YEARS, PEOPLE... TO REALISE THAT🙄
WHEN CARNIVAL CAME ON SCREEN I NTHE HOSPITAL I MADE A PORNOGRAPHIC NOISE LMAO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH
IF YOURE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, SHOOT MURRAY
WOOPS WRONG LYRICS
😂
“doctor of laughter”🥺🥺🥺🥺
doctor i have a case of the Big Sad can you... do an exam? 😉😏
NO BB DONT BEAT YOUR HEAD UP THERES PRECIOUS CARGO IN THERE
in what world does chucking cold greasy chips in a girls hair being “nice”???
lmao fuck these guys
ohhh honey breathe. dont fight it, my love, just breathe.
my heart’s breaking for you, you sweet thing🥺🥺🥺
i love you so so so so so so so much ugh you’re an actual fucking angel
just breathe darling
i need to get you a cup of tea with honey in it, your throat must be so sore
ohhhh baby im so sorry
i’d take every single punch if i could
i’d die for you
i wish i could protect you
i wish i could look after you
and take all those hits
and kill those guys for you
im so sorry
sobbingggg
YES GOOD MAN THANK YOUUU
KILL THOSE ASSHOLES LMAO DESERVED IT
yeah i have a grey morality... im similar to deadpool in that way tbh
carnival comin’ to kill your insecurities
8 bullets in a 6 chamber???? mm-hm
DONT FORGET YOUR BAG THATS EVIDENCE
AND THE WIG
RUN BABY RUNNNNNNN
GO GO GO GOOOOOOOOOOOO
RUN LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE
THE SOUND OF HIS FEET SLAPPING THE PAVEMENT IM👀
OOOOOH JOKER’S WAKIN’ UUUUUUP
fuck he’s so hypnotic
the way he runs his hand down his lower stomach asdfghj🥵
must kiss the inner tendons on his wrists and lick the blood off his face 
must kiss
he moves like water
fuck hes so fluid
bathroom scene = the scene in which my heart and vagina clench at the same time
im WANT
T POSEEEEEEEE
“i still owe you for that, dont i?”
PUNCH OUT IS MY FAVOURITE THING E  V  E  R
D O N T S M I LE
UGH I FUCKING HATE being told to smile if i don’t fucking want to so BIG mood
PLEASE SHUSH ME THE WAY YOU JUST SHUSHED PENNY IM???
but also dont lmao bc i’ll think you’re mad at me and i’ll hide in the bedroom for the rest of the day lmao i’m sensitive✨✨✨
i wanna sit on his lap and still his bouncing knees
“thats not funny”
fuck off penny yes it is
I JUST CHOKED ON MY COFFEE IM???
“but i do” god the  P O W E R
ugh that fucking sexist piece of shit comedian can choke “women look at sex like buying a car” 🤢🤮🤢🤢🤮
chauvinistic pigs can die thanks
his lil trip upstage im cry🥺🥺🥺
ohhh baby. just breathe, darling. it’s okay to be scared. dont fight it. just breathe. 
he and i both cover our mouths when we laugh/smile in the exact same way and it makes me feel closer to him
how can they think hes laughing at himself when hes literally gagging????
people only see what they wanna
the Penny imitation is👌👌👌
s m i l e
i remember when i came home from seeing this for the first time, i got home and dropped to my knees to cry in the bathroom. it was such an emotional release and so much love and i played smile to try to make myself smile but i only made myself cry harder lmaooooo ~ 
smile and thats life are my go-to songs if i gotta cheer tf up
danger sign = neither works
he looks so soft after his “date”🥺🥺🥺
“thats life” yeah but murray you dont even leave the studio so how do you know????
ngl arthur’s anger scares me.
anyone so much as raise their voice at me and i’ll cry really bad and i will shut myself away for the rest of the day and quiet anger terrifies me so his banging abt in the kitchen would freak me tf out😲
angry bb😭
he controls his anger so fast though omgggg ~ 
that soft please sends me
idk where it sends me lmao
down below probably
BARE FACED CARNIVAL OMG THIS SCENE IS SO CUTE
I LOVE THE MATCHING COLOURS ON ARTHUR AND BRUCE TOO ???
okay but the implication that arthur always carries a clown nose on him is🥺🥺🥺
hes such a good clown im?????
lmao im enjoying the show more than bruce is skskskk
arthur’s lil chuckle makes me🥺
his HUMMING im??? soft?????
his brows are so strong and dark omggg ~ he’s so beautiful
OKAY i’ll be honest i’ve seen this alfred/bruce scene and the thomas bathroom scene later on and the penny flashback scene a 100 times and i still dont fucking understand what did or didnt happen regarding arthur’s parentage im????
 ive seen interpretations to say he is thomas’ son and some to say he isnt and i still cant decide so? im stupid i guess 🙃
“a clown thing?” the  s a s s
“it’s exit only” yeah so’s my ass🙃
if i was there in the hospital room i woulda turned that tv off as soon as i realised what clip was gonna play
murray’s cruelty is d i s g u s t i n g
lmao hes an asshole
arthurs lil clap from joyyyyy ~ 🥺🥺🥺
did i say murray???
i meant  m u r r a t
🙃🙃🙃
sneaky baby
wayne hall either has super bad security or arthurs v quick on his feet
🤔🤔🤔🤔
he looks so good in red omggg ~ 
f o r e s h a d o w i n g
arthurs smile when hes watching chaplin is how he smiles when we all gush to each other abt him and ourselves!!!
hes so cuuuuuute🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰
“told me what” 
ohhhh honey🥺🥺 im so sorry. “crazy” is a trigger word for arthur; it made him start laughing in the bathroom with thomas
“touch my son again ill fucking kill you” yeah?? touch my arthur again and i’ll fucking kill you🙃🙃🙃🙃
^^^ that ones a joke do not come at me
the clerk in arkham was nice to arthur - he, gary and sophie are the good gothamites.
none of it was enough to stop his descent into joker, though, and i’d even say it was too late right at the beginning of the film, too... 
his sock puppet thingy “they cut all those” is such a Joker thing to doooo ~ 
the way arthur’s laughing in the hall at arkham turns into sobbing is gut-wrenching omg the poor thing😭
i wanna hug him and protect him and help him to process this in a healthy way
sweetheart, if i could take all of your pain and put it onto me... i so would. i’d do it in a heartbeat.
i wanna get you into a hot shower, make you some food and sit and listen to you. we can either sit in silence or you can talk to me, my love, and you will be heard and understood and loved.
“i had a bad day”
IT’S OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY OMG YOU POOR SWEET INNOCENT THING IM LOVE YOU🥺💔
THAT ENTIRE LATE NIGHT SCENE LAUGH/SOBBING GOT ME -
💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
i just wanna hold you and protect you and help you and love you
I’m so fucking sorry, darling. i wish i could take it all away from you
“i havent been happy one minute of my entire fucking life”
NO ONE SHOULD LOOK THAT ANGELIC AFTER COMMITING MATRICIDE IM????
get
that
fucking
gun
away
from
your
face
boi dont test me ill fucking go feral or - no, tell you what, i’ll point the gun at me and see how you like it
im looking respectfully at the green speckled undies scene....👀👀👀
“coming” 😏😏😏
“my mum died im celebrating” and “i stopped taking my medication” and you STILL stayed in the apartment with Arthur????? dudes those are 🚨🚨🚨 signs
woe betide anyone who underestimates arthur fleck lmaoooo
randalls death scene makes me laugh every time omg i feel so vindictive
get WRECKED
i wanna lick the blood off his face. i really want to
ngl i think i have a blood kink... 
“dont look just go” ME WITH MY ACNE WHEN I SEE IT IN THE MIRROR 😂😂😂😂
JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER 
ASDFGHJKL
J
O
K
E
R
ERIKA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING
JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERRRRRR
😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 MY BABY MY MAN OMG THERE HE IS IM CRY???????😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺
my mind is literally blank rn im just staring and crying and smiling so hard my face hurts????? im love him so so so so much
sweet thing’s so used to pain he gets HIT BY A CAR AND KEEPS GOING????
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
hghhhhhhhhhhhhhh
euirrrrrrgkjbgkfbirsghigrbugr
*incoherent keyboardsmash to portray utter love*
ohhh baby no dont cry. oh honey😭 i wanna sit on your lap and kiss your tears away
“i love dr sally”
you have a WIFE at home
“DO YOU REMEMBER?” THAT WAS YOUR CUE TO APOLOGISE LMAO GET FUCKED MURRAT
he’s so CUTE
omgggg ~ 
my hearts gonna give out its SQUEEZING SO HARD IT HURTS
YOU MOCK THEM, BABY!!! THEY GOT IT COMING
“i wanna get it right” hes so passionate
my comments have deceased in number bc im just too starstruck and in love to even think clearly lmao
jokers all i know rn and this is the most peaceful ive felt in WEEKS
im sobbing
ugh fuck this hurts so BAD
youre speaking the truth, darling. im so so proud of you and i love you so much
“THEY COULDNT CARRY A TUNE TO SAVE THEIR LIVES” LMAO INSIDE JOKESSS
literally sobbing right now ugh what the fuck youre in so much pain and in the middle of a breakdown and no one saw you
ugh baby im so sorry, you deserve so much better
you tried so hard and you were gonna fall no matter what
IN THE WHITE ROOM
“hi” baby they cant hear you but im COOING 🥺🥺🥺🥺
you’re so fucking cute
say the word and ill burn gotham to the fucking ground for you
i wanna sit atop that car and cradle your head in my lap and wipe the blood off your face and help you stand up and be there for you and and and😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love you so so so much. 
i’d be so much worse off without you in my life. you brought a splash of colour which has never dimmed or faded. it never will. 
b l o o d    s m i l e
=
im wearing my inside on the outside now and it still hurts
angel💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
i see you and your pain. i love you.
i see you, angel. 
his genuine laughter is🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
that cute lil “ksksks” he does im🥺🥺🥺
i always laugh with him omg the two of us are laughing together ugh its the closest i will ever get to sharing in his joy
 t h a t ‘s    l i f e
i love the hallway daaaaaaaaaaaaaance ~ 
them hips dont lie😉😉😉
i love you i love you i love you i love you omg the sun’s like a halo ugh i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you im singing along to thats life while i type out how much i love you at 220am lmaooooo ~ 
i   l o v e    y o u
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yyxgin · 4 years ago
Note
i think the only person ive ever wanted to steal from was some lady on tiktok who ordered rare pc’s and showed tiktok and then just resold them at the same or more value. she showed a jungkook pc from a japanese release if i remember correctly and it cost her $400 and when she resold it she made profit?? like HELLO??? apparently that was what the pc collectors would call ‘a steal’ in regards to how much she paid for it.
oooh i just googled pepco apparently they own some big-ish stores here. it sounds p straight forward!! plenty of training videos i imagine 🥲 friends at work are always a good idea but apparently i have what my mother calls a ‘fuck off face’ and... she’s not wrong. not at all. it morphs into disgust easily when i garner unwanted attention. but it’s not intentional anymore i practiced for when i used to walk to school bc i hated people and the randos bc they’re so creepy when i’m clearly in uniform and underage ewwwww blergh 😫
i initially started writing how i do bc i used to love how fancy my nan’s writing looked so when she passed away and i was old enough to understand how to write in cursive i just did that. my r’s and i’s are dangerously similar but no one complains so :D
libra ☀️, leo 🌝, virgo ⬆️ !! i’m easily the flirtiest person ik and i don’t even do it on purpose it’s dangerous but there’s a boy who matches my flirt w flirt and it’s an ongoing joke so 😳😫😫 idm making decisions if it’s like,, just for me but when there’s more than one person involved i don’t like to step on toes or come off as if i haven’t considered others thoughts and feelings bc i had a day out w a girl and she said to me sumn about wanting to do something and said ‘so like 7pm, yeah?’ and i freaked out bc i was not comfortable getting the train home later than 5pm and she was just dragging me everywhere and i distinctly remember thinking never letting myself get in a situation like that again. she even brushed off my subtle comment about seeing a bookshop that looked old and that our other mutual friend would enjoy by saying ‘god no. you wouldn’t catch me dead in there.’ i died inside. i just wanted to look at books bruh 💔💔
shotaro is v cute!! gives me stray kids vibes tbh. all of stray kids are so precious to me. esp felix!! he’s just so 🥺🥺 HE MADE COOKIES!! FOR OTHER IDOLS!!!
don’t worry bestie! 🤩 we all have days like that. tbh i was v tired yesterday myself. my sleep is so restless nowadays too 🙃 and uh i’ve been doing training courses all day. it said 60 mins per course and they weren’t lying!! the other ones i’ve done before ive been able to push out in a couple of hours max but maybe bc i have actual time to dedicate to my job i have to do more courses since i’ll be there more often. anyway.
do you have plants? 🤔 ~🌻
A PC FOR  $400 ???? PEOPLE ARE INSANE THESE DAYS WHAT THE FUCK ITS LITERALLY JUST A PIECE OF PAPER W A MAN ON IT 😭😭😭 
pepco is awesome tho,, they have so much cheap useless stuff there i always leave all my money there </3 my boss said i’ll have a discount since i work there but i forgot how much it was ?? i think she said 11% or something ?? i honestly kind of zoned out during that part. i dont think i’m getting like training videos ?? we don’t quite do that here, they just show you around and tell you how stuff works around there and that’s it ?? i hope i do good i’m kind of stressed :DDD also people tell me i look really egoistic and like a bitch at first so i guess im just gonna smile nonstop or something so i make some new friends uhhh
your big three... im not really fluent in astrology lmao but libra sun leo moon sounds like a very sexc combo imo,, i am aries sun libra moon cancer rising (i think i said libra rising earlier ?? my mistake oopsies) so feel free to read me or something if you’re into that bc i just pretend i know shit about astrology all the time even tho i know nothing :(
also that friend you mentioned sounds like a real bitch,,,why didnt she let you look at old books :( meanie !! 
YES FELIX MADE COOKIES FOR OTHER IDOLS !! SWEETHEART !! I ALSO REMEMBER THAT HE SAID HE GAVE SOME TO CHENLE TELLING HIM TO SHARE W HIS MEMBERS BUT HE JUST ATE THEM BY HIMSELF LMAOOOOO 
i hope your training videos are over soon omg that sounds like such a pain in the ass. also i hope you get to sleep better soon :(( 
YES I DO i have uhhh 13 plants atm and the list is still growing. they are all alive and well and ive had them for like 2 years now so thats a record for me even tho i think one of my plants is currenlty dying and im really sad abt it i dont know how to fix it :( 
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hey-hamlet · 5 years ago
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BNHA AU Ideas : Quirkless Erasure
Also on AO3!
TL;DR: 
In some worlds, Midoriya Izuku is the first quirkless hero. But not in this one, not by far.
Because his homeroom teacher is the hero he's always looked up to: UA's first quirkless Pro Hero.
----
Izuku isn't the only quirkless one, and Aizawa gets into the hero course via emotional devastation against his opponents.
anyway so: quirkless aizawa bc i need that
everyone thinks he has a quirk like emotional manipulation of something but no he's just fucking savage, he gets into the hero course bc he blasted the absolute shit out of mic
everything’s on youtube it’s one of the most viewed videos of all time
this aizawa's eyes are permanently gold bc i headcanon it's his quirk that makes his eyes black, not the colour they flash
"you yell because you have a constant fear no one is really listening to you. you play the class clown and don't try too hard so when you look back you think "i failed because i didn't try" not "i failed because i wasn't good enough""
"bro,,, bro what the fuck did i do to you"
aizawa isn’t even salty he’s quirkless tbh
"you're pushing this on me because it hurts, right? your loud, flashy but damaging quirk means the only thing people think you're useful for is heroics. did you want to do this, or is this the only way society will let you feel comfortable in the role it presses in on you"
"well being quirkless is rough but at least i cn be whatever i want to be"
mics just shell shocked mics not even using his quirk and everyone’s just uwu he’s erasing mics quirk
all aizawa does is walk is close and mutter "society thinks im worthless, which is rough. but you have to put your life on the line or you're nothing better than a villain to the people"
and just, lightly pushes him out of bounds
pls mics just in Love this guy tore him to fucking pieces but Damn
aizawa  helps him up off the floor
"so im probably not wrong but im a little sorry for saying it on live tv"
mic "youre amazing"
aizawa just goes bright red and starts sputtering
aizawa: the emotional devastation hero weakness: genuine compliments
consider 1A teacher aizawa just still made of emotional devastation, nezu made him promise not to use his powers of destruction on his children unless he was expelling them 
this is a quirkless izuku au too, mirio got ofa, allmight encouraged izuku to be a hero after the fight but had no quirk to give him and he manages to make his own way into the hero course
so izuku is a little analyst, gets mostly hero points but uses sharp rebar and poles to smash in the sensors of some robots, getting him a few non-rescue points either. Aizawa is watching like "oh interesting a non-combat quirk" and beside him allmight is vibrating with excitement
"he might actually do it!"
"who might do what"
allmight turns sheepishly to aizawa
"young midoriya on camera 6, he might just be the first quirkless student to pass the enterance exam to heroics straight up"
and aizawa can hardly watch anyone else for the rest of the exam, he adopts this kid on the fucking Spot
hes on the edge of his fucking seat, when nezu sends out the zero pointer. "this kid only needs 10 more points, just ten more" and izuku turns around to look at the 0 pointer and aizawa is like "fuck kid i hope you know what youre doing"
he manages to shove a piece of rebar into the treads, stoping it in its place. it tries to swat him like a bug but he just dives out of the way, picks up ochako and sprints and aizawa is like "holy shit holy shit these bastards better give this kid hero points for that"
like they are assigning final hero points and aizawa has to awkwardly put his hand up "i,,, should probably be excluded from giving midoriya hero points because i went from 0 to bias very very quickly"
allmight just nods sagely
"young midoriya be like that sometimes"
pls aizawa tries to act extra tough bc he can’t let anyone know he’s Adopted this child
for all izuku's brain hes useless w social stuff and thinks aizawa hates him but everyone else k n o w s
also izuku is the only person in 1A who knows ab aizawa's "quirk" and hes like, constantly vibrating w glee around the guy
aizawa walks in the first day, hears bakugo asking how this "quirkless bastard" got in, grabs bakugo w his scarf and yeets him into vlad’s room
"ok students, looks like we are a class of 19. any other comments before we start?"
and like everyone is so lost no one questions it
bakugo is screaming bloody murder until vlad "kindly" tells him ua has a strict no discrimination policy and aizawa would have been well within his rights to expel him
please nezu is like "uwu take one of 1B to make the classes even" and vlad is like "no ive already bonded tough cookies" vlad just adopts bakugo instantly
monoma and bakugou become bros, the baku-squad is 50% a thing, but its mostly 1B students but with pinning kiri. kendo and bakugo both keep monoma in line, monoma and kendo keep bakugo in line
during the sports festival shinsou is like "you must have a blessed quirk to get into the hero course"
and izuku just has this "really. this si what we're doing now" look on his face. hes just gesturing to shinso in exasperation, trying to make eye contact w aizawa hidden up in the commentary box
all you can hear from the box is aizawa quiet snickering as mic tries not to give the game away. he yeets shinso out of bonds and just hauls him back to his feet
"im quirkless you nonce"
"oh,,,"
"yeah, oh. what, gonna be embarrassed a quirkless kid kicked your ass?"
"nah i just feel bad for being a dick"
"ok you are the only valid person ive ever met, come meet my not-dad"
"wait what"
izuku fireman carries shinso into the announcers booth and just presents him to aizawa
you can just vaguely hear "no not kid" "but he'll be perfect" "kid this is live ask me after the festival" "but! hed be perfect! and you could train him to carry on your legacy of soul-crushing burns" "... hmmm"
"do i get a say in this?" "no" "nope"
mic just loudly saying "SO BEFORE WE WITNESS A CHILD CRY LIVE ON AIR AGAIN, AS ALWAYS HAPPENS IN THIS FESTIVAL, LETS START THE NEXT ROUND!"
there’s a counter “days since someone last cried: 0”
please its like "times cried durring all sports festivals" "average cry events" "number of times cried this festival"
aizawa being even more of a dad than canon, like hes a mess he sees on sad kid and he's like "wow that's my kid now"
he makes them soup when they get sick and leaves it outside their doors, refuses to admit its him doing it
soup cryptid
please mic is like 100% in love with him and had been for years but aizawa still has internal bias against the quirkless and thinks he's not good enough for mic so he cant make himself see the flirting for what it really is
“haha he’s just being friendlyL
“aizawa i literally want to marry u”
“awww ur so nice u mean as friends tho right?”
in this au ive decided that quirkless heroes are a thing, but pretty rare, in japan they are all underground bc villains go after them a l o t. there are some public ones in america but they tend to,,, die,,, pretty quickly
and bc there are some quirkless heroes everyone acts like discrimination isn't a thing anymore and quirkless people should shut up while quirkless people are still getting killed and committing suicide at like 500% the rate of people with quirks
also the suicide rate is,,,,, significantly higher in japan but no one ever talks abt it bc japan the “ideal place for people with quirks” so that surely means nothing could ever go wrong
izuku does the "its your power" speech in like 3 parts, before, during and after the sports festival bc he needs he bones w no quirk
stain asks izuku what his quirk is and izuku does the "wouldn't you like to know, weather boy"
",,, where are your parents"
"one abandoned me straight up and the other is giving it a red hot go right now, try me coward"
izuku but everytime he roasts a villain he does it in vine quotes
tl;dr in the au inko is like,, not ok w izuku being a hero and she's trying to do the "leave the school or you can't live here any more" ultimatum and it's not working for her
bc izuku said "ok bye then" and now lives out of his backpack. no one knows. he just like,, sleeps on the train
and iida is like "owo could i come over to your house" and izuku is like
"aaaaa its on fire. yep. made of arsenic and always in flames, why dont we go to the park"
everyone in 1a is like betting on what his house is like. they harass katsuki in 1b but he refuses to talk
hes like "hell no i got thrown into another class for talking ab that nerd eat my left tit"
they only fucking work it out when aizawa and allmight go to izukus house to talk ab dorms and there is literally no one there
aizawa asks izuku ab it like "kid you need to update your forms with your current address" and hes like "oh worm, she moved? wack."
“u,,,,didn’t know,,,,”
“nah lmao i sleep on the bench in a park near here”
“my boy,,,,,l
"what, ochako lives alone!"
"yeah, in a fucking house, kid"
aizawas just: this is literal child abuse i’m ur guardian now
allmight "hes my kid too dont be greedy"
"fuck off all might you already have mirio" "and you already have shinsou!" nighteye, from around the corner "ill take him!" aizawa and allmight "NO"                                  
mic adopts him nezu just sitting in the distance "well, its my school. i get the kid" one whole school full of adult heroes "NO ITS MY SON,,," izukus like crying "wait,,, you guys aren't sick of me? wild" while sobbing
afo out of nowhere: i’ll take the child :))) everyone collectively: N O
for self-indulgence, izuku is the youngest in the class for this au so they all call him their little brother
consider: quirkless aizawa is very similar to normal aizawa but he does practise self-care, he just tries to make it look like he doesnt because hes like that
if i dont take care of myself ill never be able to stand up to the heroes w quirks but also do i deserve normal good human things
tl:dr: he can cook well and is trying to teach izuku that 2-minute noodles and apples arent hero fuel
inko is like: "uwu i wont change what i cook for you so you'll just have to make do owo" in like, a pathetic attempt to get him to stop training so izuku runs off protein bars, electrolyte drinks and raw vegetables
just like, his bento at school. its only raw mushrooms, spinach, tomatoes and 2 full carrots
the only time he gets like a kinda valid balanced meal for a hero in training is when he pops by bakugous place and mitsuki forces him to stay for lunch
izuku is like "oh hi bakugo i have ur book-" "HI ITS LUNCH GET IN PIPSQUEAK"
hes just thrown into a chair, bakugo isnt even confused. izuku is like ",,,, so vlad gave me your book bc your house is near mums." "fair enough. hope you like miso salmon"
izuku just looks stary eyed
"f i s h ??? warm food bakugo id kill for you"
"deku wtf"
"i had nothing but 3 scoops of protein powder and 2 tomatoes today"
“dEKU WHAT THE FUCK”
"i had to eat the protein podwer with plain water kacchan. protein sludge followed by two raw tomatoes. i would commit real actual murder for you"
mitsuki always packs an extra bento after that
so like when it’s dorm time izuku gets rly stressed out bc he doesn’t know how to cook for himself??? bakugous in the 1b dorms and even if he wasn’t he definitely wouldn’t cook for him
1a goes on a fucking shopping trip, chaperoned, obviously
and they’re lining up and aizawa sees that izukus cart is only filled with like??? instant noodles and like two (2) fruits and he’s losing his mind bc yes okay he’s a child but he’s also a young hero and he’s going to get a heart attack by 20 if he doesn’t fix his diet
aizawa is like "izuku, you cant eat that" and izuku just goes "oh ok" puts the noodles back and comes back with a tub of protein powder and like 11 vegetables and a bag of kale
okay this is an improvement kinda, how do u cook it
,,,,,c
cook?
izuku just has a totally blank face
"i was just gonna like,,, eat it"
"raw."
"uh, yeah, is that not how u eat vegetables?”
"thats a potato. and some leeks. thats a fucking onion"
"it wont kill me though"
"thats,,, that not how you pick food kid."
“but vegetable??? good????”
"kid do you even fucking like any of this"
"wait, im supposed to like?? my food???"
yagi in the fucking health food isle hearing this is 50% laughing but 50% crying
aizawa: “izuku ur supposed to eat a well balanced and tasty meal”
izuku: *surprized pikachu face*
please even todoroki is like ",,, at least fuyumi could c o o k"
oh god imagine having a worse diet than shouto todoroki from 1a who eats nothing but cold soba and drinks juice
also please aizawa is like "kid i thought you just happened to be thin but now im seeing thats not the case"
bakugo in the distance "like inko ever fed him enough anyway lmao"
aizawa "WAIT WHAT"
whys bakugou shopping with 1a? its actually all 40 of the first years just descending on this poor little store. it’s this little mom and pop grocery store and a billion hungry hero hopefuls just burst through the door like 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒆𝒏 𝒏𝒖𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒔
izuku is like "oh its too expensive" and aizawa is just holding a bag of rice, aizawa is like "its cheaper than the protein powder you have"
and izuku is like "yeah i mean its empty calories and im not paying that much for empty calories"
",,,"
"thats what you taught us sensei!"
"EMPTY CALORIES ARE ONLY A PROBLEM IF UR EATING TOO MUCH"
"and?"
"YOU HAVE 3 POTAOES FOR THE NEXT 2 WEEKS"
"i can put some back if you want?"
"THATS EXACTLY WHAT I DONT WANT"
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punkcryptids · 4 years ago
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ramble
this is the one form of social media i can vent on and be confident no one is gonna find it, it won’t start drama and i can just go the fuck off
i have this ex friend right? really mf toxic, i cut her off last year n shit is all good, right?
anyways, last week i found out she has been consistently posting abt me on her tik tok, just indirects, since aT LEAST may, probably longer. and i told her the fuck off, made my own shit behind “obsessed” by mariah carrey, after some comments back n forth, the whole incident is said n done, she blocks me. ok cool
here i am, finding out the bitch is *still* making indirects. its a lil less obvious, so of course there’s the possibility it’s not me but knowing the situation im p sure it is-- the caption was like “if you side w someone because they’re crying but dont care about what they did, i hate you” or something like that. and im just at my wits end dude,, (a tiny bit of context; our friend group completely left her when i did, n all of them commented on my video + people who were kinda in our friend group but not completely if that makes sense-- one of the kinda in the group ppl commented on her video n she responded “wtf did i ever do to you” so thats why i think the caption has to do w me)
it doesnt make me as anxious as it used to but it makes me angry dude. n the indirects were really fuckin wild. im not tryna explain the situation too much because it was a whole year of verbal/mental abuse that i somewhat tuned out because *trauma*, but she was making wholeass posts abt my relationship. thats what is was, each n every time. 
makes sense bc it was the whole fucking issue when we were friends, but they were straight lies. shit abt how he cheated on me and-- she KNOWS its not true. SHE KNOWS, the whole issue is she was overly involved in my relationship because we were both her best friends.  
the whole reason this incident happened in the first place was because two days before i made my thing calling her out, she posted ANOTHER indirect. idk how many of yall are on tiktok, but it was the trend “introduce yourself as why you and your ex bsf dont talk” and gUeSs wHaT iT SaID?? “i dont like when my friends get cheated on”. its amazing the mental gymnastics she has to go through to feel correct in the situation. AMAZING. making up whole ass events that didnt happen (when we had our lil confrontation she cited him cheating on me when WE WERENT TOGETHER dnkjfheifjoewi) 
god this probably reads so weirdly because its a random insight to a situation without full context + it jumps all over. im sorry about that i just physically cannot dude. im a legal adult next year, class of 2021 babey and it fucking blows my mind theres still this middle school drama bs going on. and i cant do shit, because all she will do is block me when i call her out on her bs and then continue to post abt it. when it first happened it made me feel happy and relieved that i stood up for myself for once but then finding out shes doing the same shit shes just a fucking coward.
ig whats sending me more is the one comment she left on my video was “bell would you like to say this to my face” n then BLOCKED ME N CONTINUED TO SHIT TALK I-
i know i need to work on letting it not bother me-- she will talk her shit, she will spew her lies, and at least all of the people who were there for the situation know shes wrong-- n thats all that matters. but anxiety is a bitch sometimes. plus i guess it just hurts, she was such a gaslighting, manipulative person n it fucking hurts to see her lie and turn that shit on me. esp because my mind is littered with mental instability that i will start to bELIEVE IT HDhnfiujfo. it makes me mad that i have to deal with the trauma she gave me n she gets to sit there making tik toks lying about what happened to strangers online to validate her. what bothers me even more is it wasnt even about our relationship really. it was just about MY relationship with my boyfriend which feels so fucking weird. especially bc half of her tiktoks are directed at calling me a bad person (+saying how much better she is than me lmao) n missing my bf (who she calls her “brother” even though she gaslit him and manipulated him all the same djifhbdi) and the other half is like she misses me ??? considering the latest indirect (before she blocked me) was abt why we arent friends anymore
i cannot stress enough how fucking done i am. it stresses me out because i cut her out of my life so i wouldnt have to deal w it and i feel like i cant escape her and i hate it i want to move out of this fuckign town so i never have to have the possibility of running into her 
but if i do run into her you bet your ass im calling her pussy ass out >:) 
also shoutout my therapist who will get the run down (probably a summary of this post) of this situation tomorrow hehe 
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