#and in most of those cases I'm very relieved and in the other there's mixed feelings but mostly positive bc again. i don't want to hurt any1

[lesbianfrottage]

Okay but I need to be someone's beloved wifepet and belong to them completely and be able to pour my whole energy into just loving them. When will it be my turn!

[triforce-of-mischief]

You know what? I cast it back at YOU! What do you think the boys most irrational fears are? - Fire

mmmmm fear~

Time: Being grabbed from behind. If he's hugged unexpectedly then the other person will find themselves thrown into a wall/tree. This is because of Redeads. To make this a full-blown fear instead of just a minor inconvenience- Time is almost constantly on guard, imagining a body creeping towards his back, a gasp of air on his ear taking in a breath to scream... then he whirls around to find nothing.

Twilight: Fire because something something manga. I just think there's potential here- regarding even tiny candles with a wary gaze, shying away from the campfire, being overwhelmed at the strong smell of smoke...

Warriors: Becoming incapacitated and unable to fight in any way. Illness, injuries, loss of limbs... he lives in constant anticipation of the unavoidable. You would think this means that he visits the med tent often, but it is of course the opposite. Medics mean healing, recovering, sitting and doing nothing to help his brothers and people in danger. Illness and injuries may slow him down, but by Hylia they will not stop him.

Wind: Everybody says he's afraid of big birds, but you know what's way scarier than a couple of Kargoroks? Those noodly hand things that pop out of the ground, grab your face, and drag you into the unknown. The kid, much like Time, hates being grabbed unexpectedly but is terrified if somebody suddenly goes for his face. Nobody tell him about Wallmasters.

Four: Green peppers Seriously what can beat that? I haven't played Minish Cap yet so I think I'm gonna go with the beloathed produce. He turns into an absolutely feral demon when faced with an innocent green pepper, and they are the cause for his worstest of nightmares.

Wild: Jumpscares. No really, anything can set him off and nobody expects such an extreme reaction (scream, leap back, probably some tears). Out in the wild, you have to constantly be on guard for a falling boulder or a stampeding goat or a sneaky Stalmoblin about to yeet you off a cliff. And frankly, Wild has never gotten used to these.

Legend: PROJECTION CITY I see your "Lege has a million piercings" and I raise you "There's a reason why he doesn't have a single pair of earrings in canon and that reason is a fear of needles". He would like to stay very, very far away, thank you very much. He is an absolute mess when somebody forces him to get his wounds stitched and requires a task force of at least 3.

Hyrule: Big crowds. The poor thing gets overstimulated, overwhelmed, and just shuts down in the busiest of Castle Town markets. Goddess forbid the others leave him behind or send him on his own.

Sky: Underground tunnels. They're dark, tight, and you never know what's around the corner (probably a giant centipede or an approaching wall of lava). He can barely move in the first place, and under stress he gets his directions mixed up and starts to hyperventilate which is Very Bad for an enclosed space.

Ravio: Paintings. Yuga threatened to turn him into one if he wasn't a good little bunny. Ravio was actually immensely relieved to be rid of the bracelet just in case he accidentally activated it one day and couldn't figure out how to escape. Now every painting featuring a person freaks him out and he refuses to let any decorate his Link's house.

[kisuminight]

For the record, Staged Duo is... even more of a mess in this AU. DSMP canon is already pretty fraught with them--no matter how willing them may have been, both c!Punz and c!Dream spent a long time killing each other, in as many different ways as they could imagine and achieve. Maybe at one point or another, one of them felt wrong about doing it; didn't want to kill their partner, was scared about dying at their partner's hands, and accepted it anyway out of a mix of sunk-cost fallacy for the Plan and the fact that both of them have such strong masks it would be hard to say if speaking up to say "No more" would break their relationship. When they were the closest things to friends that they even had anymore, even with it all tied up in blood and death and a near-impossible goal.

I wonder how many times the experiments felt less like murder and more like assisted suicide? Especially when they would've tested those types of death to find the limbo they produced.

And in this AU, they are emotionally tied together in a very literal way by the Resonance.

The bulk of Dream and Punz's experiments with Blade memory come in the 6 month-ish period after the Staged Finale and before the Red Banquet really kicks off. Dream spends the majority of it in Resonance with Punz, meaning they both feel each other's emotions and they both feel a Blade's instinctual need to protect the other members of the Resonance.

Blades don't get different limbos, so there's no need to test multiple types of death. They just need to do enough damage to overwhelm a Blade's natural regen. And since Punz is the link to Purpled as the main Driver in the Resonance chain, Dream is the only one it is safe to test the deaths on.

Punz's Soul Weapon is a sword, and it's strong enough to complete the task as long as the blow is to the neck or heart. They negotiate what will happen beforehand, but that doesn't stop the fear. That maybe this time the Memory Patch won't work, that the new version they're trying to make will be bugged. That maybe Punz will leave Dream as a core crystal and he will be put behind glass in a display case, never to be reAwakened.

~

Imagine the scene. Dream is sitting in a chair, waiting. Punz is across from him, standing. He calls his Soul Weapon to his hand with a curl of darkness. The emotional bleed of the Resonance starts screaming.

"I'm ready," says Dream. He is still and his breathing is even. His voice does not shake. But his eyes are shadowed and the aether lines on his body are flickering with the echo of terror terror terror. Punz can feel the way it catches him in the back of his teeth, feels his own instincts as a Blade roar that he needs to protect his Resonance partner, needs to find the threat and kill it.

Punz is the threat.

Punz uses a piercing thrust to destroy Dream's heart in one blow. Going for the throat would be easier. Going for the throat was how Tommy ended Dream's previous life. Dream shatters into light, and the core crystal thumps softly on the cushion of the chair.

Everything aches, but Punz can already feel the diamond-edged ruthlessness taking over, guiding their hands to dismiss their sword. They need to check the core crystal. Make sure the readings are okay. Make sure everything is ready to reAwaken Dream when he's recovered enough aether. It shouldn't be long; as a powerful healing Blade, Dream's recovery time runs closer to two days than the three-and-a-bit of most others.

Is this what a Heartstealer feels, the moment they pry open their Driver's chest?

~

It doesn't really get better, as time goes on. Both of them are secretly relieved when they reach the point where no more death trials are needed. Except it's not a secret, when they're living with each other and half in each-other's heads.

This is the kind of situation that creates a co-dependence, even with EW!Ranboo checking up on them and trying to provide something of a balance. It does not help that Blades are predisposed to that kind of thing anyway.

It turns out that a lot of the blind obedience of a newly Awakened Blade is because the Blades don't have any reference point to what a Driver should be like, or what kind of relationship is healthy. Dream is grateful enough to cry. Punz tries to ignore the way homesickness for the Resonance with George eats at what they've built now.

Purpled only reaches out once about the mess the experiments are making of the Resonance. Punz tells him it's something they're working on, and that Purpled shouldn't worry about them. He doesn't reach out again, and Punz tries to ignore how that hurts, both their hurt and faint whispers from Purpled. The problem with Dream and George was that they misinterpreted what feeling they were receiving from the emotional bleed. Punz knows every emotion. He can name them in all their intensities and shades, and usually even what caused them. But he doesn't know how to fix it.

[tarnishedinquirer]

Case: The Ailing Village

Scratch what I said about no functional settlements. I was pleasantly surprised when I saw a path leading up into the woods, and I could see a village that wasn't completely in ruins. Cooking fires still burning and everything.

Scratch that scratch that. No sooner did I approach the cooking fire than I was attacked by giant rats with yellow flame in their eyes. Their bites were not just physically painful, but made my head ache terribly. An unhealthy pressure behind the eyes.

After dispatching the rats, I found out what would happen if I succumbed to the rat bites. They'd taken out a noble, and I could see a faint glow beneath him. I rolled him over, and one of his eyes fell out; a soft little yellow ember. I've picked up some distasteful things because the voice said they'd be useful, but this one was especially appalling.

A sign that the deceased suffered from the flame of frenzy. This grape has ripened and burst.

A flame of madness that rests in the eyes... a bit of memory stirred like a beast from the abyss. Yet in darkness it remained. A mere recognition of some horrible truth.

Instead, a memory of another life emerges. Blood. A terrible curse. Men howling at the moon like beasts. Eyes rotting in their sockets. The damned drawn into a nightmare of frenzied, blood-soaked violence for eternity.

Perhaps these false memories, these memories of other lives, are a way of processing truths I am not yet ready to face.

Even the plants were affected by whatever blight had come to this village. Much like how the Lord of Blood's presence is felt in Blood Roses, the Flame of Frenzy must be felt in these "Eyes of Yelough" bushes. Supposedly it can be used as a pain reliever but I'm not sure I'd trust it.

Unfortunately, it was not just rats in this village. In the center of town was a bonfire, with villagers gathered around it. They were all frozen in place, locked in some mix of agony and ecstasy, grasping at their burning eyes.

A corpse inside one of the huts was reaching straight up into the air, as if grasping something unseen. Beside him, there was a Flame Crest Wooden Shield. The voice informed me that it was carried by the soldiers guarding this village and intended as a warning.

Strange. Some of the villagers have weapons, but I'd hardly call them soldiers. What happened to the soldiers that were supposed to be guarding this place?

Well, well. Turns out the trail might not be completely cold after all. I found a group of three Misbegotten hiding out near the village. None of them were infected, but one of them still seemed somewhat afflicted. The other two attacked without hesitation, but this one just lay down flat and didn't move until I drew his attention. These were overlooking the merchant though, and the light, flying type. Not the kind that's capable of wielding a heavy cleaver. Still, the fact they had observers placed here meant something more was going on.

At the heart of the village, there was a church dedicated to Marika. Called the Callu Baptismal Church, though I didn't see any baptismal font. It was thoroughly infested with frenzy-afflicted rats, and once I took care of them, I claimed a Sacred Tear and the incantation, "The Flame of Frenzy."

The only good thing about incantations is that by their very nature, I don't even need the voice to explain it most of the time. It's just liturgical text and though the metaphors might go over my head, at least I can read it. This was a plea to the Frenzied Flame to consume the speaker's eyes (and those of their enemies) in holy fire. The only thing the voice had to add was how I could use it, which... no. I'm not a woman of faith. The gods had yet to impress me.

As I left the church, I showed the remaining, afflicted townfolk what mercy I could.

The villagers howled.

Conclusion: 'From the church's name, I could assume that Callu must've been the name of this village before it became afflicted. Whoever brought this affliction probably started with the rats. Their bites infected other villagers, and as the madness began to burn away at their minds, they turned to worship the plaguebringers. The baptismal font was discarded in favor of a massive, bloated, mad rat god. The village leader was then given the Flame of Frenzy incantation so he could spread the faith. Morne sent soldiers to contain the threat and keep people away, but their efforts fell to naught due to a hidden hole in the wall.

The frenzy spread. The Confessors that Morne had called in abandoned them. Soldiers from the village were called in and they initiated a massacre, as they too were infected by now. Edgar sent his daughter away, not knowing the frenzy lurked in her retainers. The only ones not afflicted were the Misbegotten. They were resistant, with the Frenzy only creating a sense of malaise in them. Those afflicted were sent behind the castle to recover. They chased down Irina's caravan and massacred her retainers, but left her untouched. At least, until the time was right.

Of course, this is just a conjecture. I could be wrong. But this implies a grand conspiracy of the Frenzied Flame, or at least some unknown malefactor working behind the scenes. Maybe I have a little of that frenzy in me, making me paranoid and conspiratorial.

But there's more at work here than I know.

Who infected the village?

Where did they put the baptismal font?

Where are the Confessors now, if they abandoned this land?

The ritual the ritual the ritual the ritual the ritual

[gemsofgreece]

I'd like to drop in an opinion of someone from Eastern Europe about this whole "West vs. East" thing that American, British (and sometimes French) media/public loves to put out, seeing that they are the absolute (if we aim for these definitions) West compared to South and East of Europe: those are completely inapplicable ideas stemming from the West alone.

Like, I don't understand why it's so hard for the ultimately Western countries to understand that hell of a cultural mix going on around East and South (respectively and individually, not mashed together) of Europe is not separated into the simple categories of West and East, especially not in the Western idea of a "progressive West" and "barbaric East"; a lot of our countries have always been Eastern-leaning and only got pulled into this whole narrative of Western society recently. And a lot of us are still only notably Western, being excluded on many occasions as not being Western "enough".

I'm sorry for such a disconnected rant, I hope my point ("Western idea of how West & East interact in Eastern and Southern Europe is absolute bullshit") was clear regardless. I'm happy to see you talk about this crap, I hope you take good care of your mental health. I can't comprehend the issues of the Greek state in terms of Western treatment of your country fully, but it's relieving to see that others are speaking out on the issues East and South of Europe seem to be both going through.

Have a lovely day!

Yes and also I am not exactly sure what “western culture” is supposed to stand for. More human rights? Blandness? Money? I always thought the financial and social progress and protection of rights in the West is a matter of many sociopolitical and economical parameters that are not the same to what a culture is. And like you said, this progress is fairly recent (in the long run of history) and it is not directly or straightforwardly linked to any particular culture or civilisation.

Culture does not operate in boxes, it is a fluid and continuous evolution of people’s expression and it does not fit into categories. The conditioning that occurs lately with which the west attempts to westernise East and South Europe is embraced by some people but what those people actually embrace is an opening to more short term opportunities for economical growth and social progress. This is why it is a sociopolitical phenomenon in its origin, except it has cultural repercussions as cultural influences are naturally invading alongside the welcome social reforms and they impact the younger or more impressionable people.

Since you wondered about Greece, its case is a little different. The way it is perceived in terms of cultural orientation is very funny and unique. Geographically, Greece along with Cyprus is the most southeastern culture of Europe. Politically and culturally, you will see that Greece is officially considered a part of Western Europe!!!

This placement is honorary. Yes you read this correctly; honorary! Honoured to be considered part of the west for being the good ol’ “cradle of the western civilisation”. Thank you so much. In short, Greece is an eastern place which everyone has silently agreed to mislabel as western simply because they dig the ancient influence that much.

Having said that, since the formation of the modern Hellenic Republic, the Greeks were indeed determined to more or less follow through with all the reforms and policies that would shape the society according to the western principles. This is why you will often see Greece ranking in between western and Eastern European countries regarding various social, political and economical markers. This all began even before the Greek revolution - the Greek nation had to adopt a western orientation in order to fight off the Ottoman Empire effectively and win the sympathies of west Europe. Most Greek expats of power had fully embraced and prospered in the western ideals of Europe and did their best to bring them to the Greek subjects of the empire. It would be thus unfair to claim the West actively forces the westernisation of Greece - Greeks have been consciously oriented towards the west all the last centuries. The problem is that the West stands bewildered before the various and potent eastern elements of the Greek civilisation - at times it chooses to ignore them and at times it demonises them (ie Byzantine Empire, which ironically was far more secular than many western nations at the time). The worst consequence of this is an effort to fabricate a strong bond to the ancient culture while expelling all the eastern elements as compromise for which Byzantine and Modern Greeks are responsible, distancing them from their heritage as a result. And the worst, many Greeks have internalised this, inevitably welcoming also unproductive influence like other Eastern Europeans.

The responsibility lies with the Greeks to understand that their culture does not fit any box the West feels comfortable with and it does not have to. I don’t care so much what westerners think as seeing young Greeks being clueless enough to feel sorry for not being “western enough” or thinking that eastern elements first invaded the culture with the Turks.

It can be said for so many countries that they are not leaning either eastern or western exactly in this made up spectrum and Greece is certainly among the ones that this can be said about the most.

Have a great day too! ☺️

[x-authorship-x]

You know, weirdly, the JA books never actually bring up the attachment thing. That's something that's more in the movies, and perhaps not so weirdly only aimed at Anakin (which does suck for him, because he didn't really understand it and no one explained it in a way that made sense, leading to even more communication issues), but no in the books they like actively push Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon to bond and whatnot. It's just that Qui-Gon has a lot of guilt/shame/trauma from Xanatos - which Obi-Wan purposefully triggered twice at one point, oy vey, but that book was it's own special brand of crazy - and Obi-Wan was burned by being sent to Bandomeer and was given some self-esteem issues as a result. He also has a hard time reading Qui-Gon sometimes, especially at first. So the emotional constipation is all their own lol. And it does get a lot better over the course of the books, too. They learn to read each other, but it's kind of a slow process.

A lot of Obi-Wan's rollercoaster childhood stuff was pretty beyond anyone's control too. He's such a danger magnet, I swear to god. You leave him alone for like five minutes and he's being kidnapped or joining a cult-like militia or getting attacked by people they thought were trustworthy. Qui-Gon at first does tend to leave him alone in some place they think is safe (or safer than where he's going at any rate), but after a few missions he's practically ready to attach a child leash to Obi-Wan just so he's always in grabbing range lol. Obi-Wan's also really stubborn, which is not always a great mix when people are like "please stay where it is safe, we're literally begging you", and he's like, "no :)" lol. This seems to follow him to adulthood too, in the movies, so I imagine Anakin's padawan-ship (and Cody's entire stint as his commander, r.i.p.) was pretty similar lol, just marginally safer because he's the one on rescue duty. Obi-Wan's saving grace a lot of the time is his ability to make friends really easily, and they often come to his rescue when a jedi can't. All of which is fun, because that means there's so much hurt/comfort potential!

Oh yes, they definitely need so much therapy. Like individually and as a pair. Even a dose of plot-convenient truth serum would do, frankly. So much could be cleared up so fast if they just talked to each other. But that's pretty much par for the course when it comes to most media featuring communication issues, I think. Thank god Inoichi is like, emotionally healthy and pushes Shisui to be too. You have no idea how relieved I was when like Inoichi took one look at Shisui in No Tomorrow and immediately knew he needed help and was ready to give it. It pretty much instantly sold me on their relationship, ngl

(Also, you're totally fine, I wasn't complaining I was just like, I need to make Torship knows, you know? Like at least 95% of fandom who write about Obi-Wan's childhood stuff haven't actually read the books they're talking about, they get what they know from other fanfics, so it tends to be a weird echo chamber that doesn't match up to canon. Which is a shame in this case, because those books are so fun and add so much to the characters, and would add a bit more variety to what I typically see. But you actually like parent-child bonding stuff so my very tired brain was convinced you Needed To Know and got excited to talk about it. Which is also why these have both been so long; I never get to talk about this stuff and am kinda infodumping at you, my bad 😅)

Hahaha your tired brain was right, this is super interesting! I'm gonna go hunt down found family qui-gon-obi-wan fics now...

Obi-wan is so willful and his luck is just comical 🤣🤦

("which obi purposefully triggered twice" oh for gods sake they all need rattled 🤦🤦🤦)

The whole reason I even picked Inoichi to mentor Shisui (just a name-drop back in 2019 for In The Eye of The Beholder) was because I asked myself 'who would they trust to monitor a ticking time bomb?' And the answer was immediately 'interrogation therapist'... Inoichi's decision to do that by gentle parenting was just natural lmao honestly one day I WILL write a inoichi and Shisui master-padawan fic just for the sheer comedy of Inoichi showing everyone else how it is DONE 🤌👏

Also I am... aware that I'm focusing on a fandom that 95% of my followers/readers probably aren't interested in so there's not a lot of activity on that front, plus I don't have any mutuals to talk about SW with so... info dump away, anon! This is nice :)

(I like reading info dumps anyway, haha, I'm the kinda person who tries to get people ranting about their interests on purpose :) )

Thanks for all this really cool insight, have a great day/night ✨

[the-firebird69]

You're getting an immediate response and he's saying a lot of stupid things I don't care for that person at all he's such a massive a****** and her son never liked him he's a spaz he's a retard could hardly even remember what they were doing when they were hiking or the two or three days that he saw him he was an invalid and he needed to be told you have to eat something you should go to the restroom it was misery runs around saying those who is doing he can hardly get from place to place it is just total misery and he's in the past as a wild card and now is not really the foreigners have dropped him and he can't tell and he's doing the same antics and they're not backing him up and there's people getting fried. Since you know in our son and friend wouldn't really do much but everyone else will take him to prison and throw them into a furnace and people are so stupid here that's what the punishment is.. there's some more things that are very unsatisfactory going to make a list of because he already sees it in his reporting it to us today is a big day and we anticipate the ships to be up and out tonight and they dragged it out last night and it was not worth it it didn't get anything but we did and our son knows about it. It's a huge number of people that are trying to escape the other parts and they're doing it now.

I'm just going to be more to report in about 20 minutes and then early this evening. But right now there are forces of massing and we're talking about Charlotte county

-outside Charlotte county huge forces are already assaulting the 10 remaining basis of Tommy f and he is dwindling five of them are 50% three are at 70% two are at 90% And that's pretty abysmal his fleets are dwindling the black ship fleet is down to 2 million please don't ship fleet is down to 15 million and the miscellaneous fleet is down to 200 million huge fleets are going to relieve the other fleets that were attacking. The foreigners and Max that samples of the new armor system that the clones have and they tested it and found out that they should be working very hard most of what they have does not work and there's Jack a giant giant ships which can wipe out the majority of their forces which are not a match investors which are too slow and cumbersome and don't handle well they don't keep their trajectory it's requiring constant fuel to move and they also cannot attain maximum speed because of that. And we are at war with these clones and people should know it and everyone here is and they're not really aware of it and it's aggravating as hell

Frank Castle Hardcastle

There's a giant error here by these people it seem to think that he's fighting their battles and that he's going to help them and it's not really the case and our friend says they're sort of weirdos and have to use whatever they have if they have to take a poison that might kill them to get rid of bugs they do it even not knowing the proper dose and I've seen them do it here I understand the mentality but it is terrifyingly bad and illegal foreigners are quite a match already but he's their insisting on doing this and they're still in the mix heavily and they're still fighting in the clones it's Insanity they want them to lift off I didn't want to fight them. So I do see the angle now and it's about damn time it's the Star blazers even the new armor is susceptible to the bigger ships 20s and 30s ships that are 10,000 miles are susceptible to 20s and 30s you have four or five together and they're through in seconds I am currently assessing the situation but the more luck declared awareness and they are asking for it and they have what we need

Mac daddy

We're sitting next door and he's talking about it but we didn't do anything because bja won't let us do anything or have any and he says it's probably a little bit more seedy than that and it probably is

Trump

I'm sorry doing it so we didn't do anything and we know what he was saying you remember we're doing it but thought the clothes took it cuz they're saying that they said it quite a bit and we said it so I guess we're not that bright but the max know about it regardless of who said anything cuz they actually have spies

Bja

Good. What a pain. I'm trying to loop them into it a little so people don't get away with stuff and they saw you and others you know stopping it

Trump

Olympus we give permission to publish now

[celamoon]

Warnings: Angst (as I always start off writing for a fandom with angst), MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, body is still treated like shit after death

Summary: You knew Vyn would never look twice in your way yet you had hoped that maybe... just maybe he would... once...

Notes in advance: That's right I'm writing for tears of Themis now bc I am addicted so send in those requests babe <33

Vyn Richter is a lot of things to you. He's your childhood friend, a psychiatrist, calculated, noble, and most importantly, logical.

That's what you told yourself when you found out you had feelings for him. Might as well break the fall before you die from it.

He didn't do love unless he was positive of it. He was never uncertain, each step of his was calculated, strong, with the very best outcome for himself and those around him.

You also learned more about him.

How he liked his tea, how he only drank one specific type of wine, how he liked his eggs in the morning.

Needless to say, you knew more about him than he did about you.

It wasn't that he wasn't able to read you, it had just been that he had never bothered reading you. Which you assumed was either because he trusted you since he grew up with you, or that he just didn't think of you as significant enough.

Vyn as a child had been cold, had been neglected. His father was a foreigner, his mother... he had no memory of, his cousins, always aloof and acting harshly because he was a mixed child.

It was no different from growing up in an exaggerated tv drama.

But you, the little child next door, had always thrown plushes over the fence to his backyard. You threw one over on accident while playing with it, but when Vyn picked one up, and you had watched him hug the toy for a second, before letting it drop. The slightest pain on his face before it had straightened up again. You had hardened your resolve to make that boy next door feel better.

When elementary school started, you befriended Vyn immediately. You started off by asking for help, before eventually sticking with him during recess. He had gotten laughed at and bullied quite a bit for having foreign features, and you were having none of that. You beat them up with your bare fists.

When middle school came, both of you dove into your studies. Stellis city was the top in education, and being a resident there of an upper class family, neither of you had the chance of ever slacking off. It would bring dishonour, and then both of you would get berated.

Then came high school. Vyn finding that he was invested in criminal psychology, and you still not knowing what you wanted to be. You were torn for days over this. Everyone else knew what they wanted to be, what they wanted to do, yet you were slowly being left behind. So you hardened your resolve and told yourself that until Vyn had someone who could take care of him, you would stay by his side.

You got into the same university as Vyn.

You cried, without telling him, about the news, and while he nagged at you for neglecting your health for your college exam, you knew he felt relieved when you made it in as well.

University was never any easier than it should've been. Both of you dove deeper into your studies with Vyn going into criminal psychology and you into behavioural psychology. You needed to learn to read people and protect yourself... and Vyn.

Then after both of you getting your doctorate, you became coworkers. You had thought you had a chance. But that was diminished very quickly. Vyn had started to grow distant after a phone call, and you pretended that it was alright.

You didn't let that stop the routine though. Breakfast at his place, lunch in his office, the other staff had joked that you two were pretty much a married couple. but you knew that he never thought of you that way.

Then he met someone new. A mysterious girl who was different to you in so many ways. She was confident, elegant, intelligent. Working at Themis law, became famous for winning a case for the Pax group's son.

Vyn was enamoured by her.

So were you.

She was everything you could've only hoped to be.

While Vyn spoke to you about how wonderful she was, you found yourself offering help in being around her. You befriended her, and you knew exactly why she was loved by all, she just had that personality and character.

When the PUA victim ran to Vyn for help, you told him that you'd be resting for a bit. You would've been a big help, but you felt as though you'd be third wheeling on them.

So while Vyn tracked down the PUA group with her, you found yourself slowly letting go. It began with the messages, then the meetings, eventually the meals together.

It was slow, and Vyn would have probably not realized it at all if one of the patients hadn't spoken up about it.

"Dr. Richter... where's your assistant Y/n?"

Then Vyn realized that he hadn't seen you in the last weeks. It was like you disappeared.

He didn't think much of it until he felt empty.

"Y/n can you-" You're not there anymore.

"I have these files Y/n can you-"

"Y/n did-"

Then he receives news that you had left the hospital. Rumors of you two getting into a fight circulated and Vyn found himself irked.

That was when he realized something.

He grows more irritated without you. There's no one to lighten up his day in the morning or remind him to stop scratching himself when he feels uneasy.

No one was there to tell him that he should really stop pulling on his hair, to stop downing 4 espressos a day.

Meanwhile you had met a woman named Jasmine. A woman who was investigating Opaline village, and needed the help of a psychiatrist. A woman who had a little child, whom received help from the girl that Vyn loved.

You two were driving back from gathering evidence when the car swerved.

The last thing you saw was a white light.

Vyn is baffled when your name appears in a NXX file.

What were you doing there?

You had gotten into a murder disguised as an accident.

You died.

You died and somehow it was related to the drug they were researching on.

Then for the first time, the organization watched him lose his composure and break down.

The only person who had stuck by his side his entire life had left forever.

He tried to find your grave, but your family never held a funeral for you. You had betrayed them by becoming a psychiatrist while all of them were deeply religious. They cursed you, saying that this was how the heavens were punishing you. Your body got donated to scientists for research. Vyn never got to send you off or give you a flower, all he had left of you was that faltering smile the last time you met up with him.

You had left him with nothing.

Nothing except those whispered words the last time you met up.

"I hope I'd be your favourite crime"

[curiousconch]

Chase You/Chase Me (Pt. 4)

Part 4: The truth will never lie to me

Catch up here: Series Masterlist

Chapter Summary: Trapped in a conference, Gabe and Alex bask in the afterglow of their interrupted moment by the lake. But before Alex can fully comprehend how she felt, she unravels a truth that may cease the chase altogether.

Book/Pairing: Choices - Laws of Attraction / Gabe Ricci x MC (Alex Keating)

Words: 1.8k+

Rating/Warnings: Mature (16+) / alcohol consumption, language, implied sexual content. Reader discretion advised.

Author's Notes: Surprise! Yep, it's an early release! I made revisions to fit the ongoing narrative and ended up breaking it down into two parts. Also, this series may span longer than I originally intended it to be, not wanting to rush things. It will probably extend until Part 7, depending on what happens at the finale. I do hope you'll still stick around. If not, I'll totally understand. 😉

Disclaimer: Most of the characters as well as some dialogue belong to Pixelberry. I am merely borrowing them.

Late night, Boston

Shoe laces, cool wind and the darkness of the forest enveloping them. His breath shuddering with how close her lips was. His throat running dry.

Wanting, longing.

Just a little taste to find out how intoxicatingly delicious those cherry lips would be in his mouth and to feel the heat of her body against his.

And then a splash.

Gabe blinked as he felt ice cold liquid pouring over his crisp white shirt. He wasn't sure if he was having déjà vu.

"Oh, sorry mate," a man standing nearby had bumped into him, making the glass of scotch he was drinking shake and spill into his impeccable suit. He forced down the tasteless curse words forming in his mouth, groaning in frustration at the dissipating sensations from what he had been imagining.

His mind was stuck in an endless loop, replaying the romantic encounter with Alex just the night before. But very much like after Beau's dive into the lake, his consciousness whipped achingly back to reality.

Gabe was leaning on the mobile bar, set in the middle of the conference reception. Did he just lose himself in a daydream like a fool? He wondered, murmuring through his madness.

The time alone with her provided him a glimpse of what could be between them. And oh how euphoric it had been to have her so near, to watch his body respond to her like no other.

It left him just craving for more.

He was lying to himself if he continued to deny that he has feelings for Alex, and how deep he was already in for her. But he knew it wasn't meant to be, at least until after he admits the truth. Until then, he had to pull away.

Easier said than done.

For now, he settled for a view of her, his eyes scoured the room for the subject of his fancy. When he found her, Gabe couldn't stop his smile and the fluttering of his heart, or the warmth growing between his legs.

There she was, in the far side of the room, shining brighter than any star that they had seen in the night sky. Her audience completely captivated as he was with her.

The sight of her in that blue dress swept Gabe back into his fantasies, and how infuriatingly near he was to giving into them. He had to clench his fist around his tumbler, suppressing any trace of his earlier wild thoughts.

Apparently sensing the weight of his gaze, Alex turned to him, their eyes meeting in silent conversation. He watched as she excused herself before making her way towards where he sat.

Half-smiling, Alex's confident expression as she approached him made him swallow hard.

Gabe summoned all his willpower to rein himself in as she got closer. He plastered his usual cocky smile, once again putting up a wall of professionalism. They were in a conference, he reasoned.

"Still watching your wards, old man?" Alex chuckled as she reached a seat beside him.

"Working the room like a pro like that? Very hard to ignore," Gabe interjected, shaking his head. "Had to say Alex, I'm impressed."

"Glad you noticed," she smiled, clearly enjoying the compliment.

"Frankly, you charming the top tier lawyers were hard to miss," he said, with lips quirking into a grin.

"Were you watching the whole time?" she asked.

"Difficult not to, seeing how you're the best-dressed lawyer in the room," he continued, savoring the easy conversation.

She scoffed before turning around, grabbing a napkin from a bartender. Alex offered it to him, pointing at the light stain on his clothes.

He finally muttered a curse, realizing he had been too distracted not to notice the result of the spillage from his own drink. This was one of my best suits.

Gabe almost jumped when Alex started to wipe the front of his suit.

His eyes narrowed, unable to process what was happening. On impulse, he reached out to her, encircling his palms around her wrist. Alex snapped her head up at the touch, the intensity of her gaze enchanting him.

It took all of his strength to break free from it. He cleared his throat and looked away, before grabbing the napkin from her grasp without warning.

It had always been like this. At first, there was this fluidity, a natural attraction between them while they interacted. Then another goddamn minute passes and it all becomes downright complicated.

Gabe wasn't having it.

He briefly shut his eyes closed and released the breath he was holding. When he opened them, he focused his attention on wiping the stain from his jacket, avoiding Alex's questioning gaze. He decided to divert the conversation, robbing her of any opportunity to re-capture him in a trance.

"Don't worry, I don't judge potential partners solely on congeniality. Though I can't speak for Sadie." He then turned and discarded the cloth on the bar. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'll have to speak to a friend who I'm sure will be thrilled to know I'm now a partner."

He finally dared to look at Alex with almost apologetic eyes, before swiftly walking away towards a sea of unfamiliar faces.

Alex was left gaping at his hasty departure, uncertain how it all went south so quickly. She wanted to grab his arm and pull him to her so badly, to pick things up from where they left off last night. From that moment when his lips was inches away from taking hers, before they were interrupted.

Her body ached to be near him. Then again, that's not how she usually operates, so she let him be.

She had never thought her idol was such a tease. Or perhaps, traditional? Alex snickered. Oh how I'll make you beg, Gabriel Ricci. She exhaled, the sultry thought of the man on his knees in front of her suddenly hiking up the temperature in the room. Alex had to fan herself to cool down.

Along with the idea of finally spending some alone time together, conjuring the image of waking up beside Gabe excited her. Well, if ever this chase between them actually culminates to something.

But why was she following this trail of thought? In all her conquests, she had never stayed for what came after. She had that with Julian, and look how that ended. For her, it was always just for the fun. So why does she suddenly liked the notion with Gabe? She shuddered. Ugh, weird.

Maybe it's because it's taking the long game with him? Alex didn't want to know.

Leaving that for now, she resorted to ordering another shot of patron to drown the remnants of her heated thoughts. On her third glass, Alex heard a familiar voice ordering a shot of bourbon. She swiveled towards it and caught sight of Lina Reyes, the opposing lawyer from the Willow case.

"Fancy meeting you here," Alex smiled lazily, remembering how temptingly attractive she was. She also recalled the offer of a hook-up, which she politely declined out of courtesy.

But now, seems like she's getting another chance. And with Gabe being annoyingly hard to get, Alex had to have fun somewhere else. It's not like she and Gabe was committed, right?

Lina scooted closer to her, smelling of a heady mix of alcohol. "Speaking of fancy, damn. You look more incredible than I can remember, Alex," she teased, provocatively arching her brows at her.

Alex quickly picked up Lina's attempt to flirt, stoking her bruised ego. "Gotta be dressed to impress, right?" she waved her fingers as if in curtsy. "Enjoying the conference?"

"At this point, things tend to devolve quickly. But I do plan to have a nightcap back in my room," Lina smirked, Alex feeling the heel of velvet pumps brushing along her bare leg. "Maybe you could join me?"

The woman wasn't exactly subtle, though Alex had to give props to her for her confidence. She liked that in anyone. So Alex returned the gesture, letting her fingers hover an inch over her arm while batting her eyelashes. Two can play that game.

"I think we should stay here."

Wait, what? Did she just say no? Subconsciously? Did hell just freeze over? Or did her brain left her head?

Both women blinked, unable to determine who's more mortified between them. They were both quiet, until Lina broke the awkwardness by a chuckle.

"Had to try, didn't expect I'd be turned down twice," she said consuming the rest of her drink in one gulp. "Worth it though." she shrugged, ordering another round for herself.

Alex struggled to compose herself, brows furrowed in confusion by how that went down.

"Oh don't be so bothered, you're not my first rodeo." Lina poked at her jokingly, clearing up the air. Alex thanked her, and the conversation went smoothly from there.

Several more drinks in, the two women chatted on, venturing into a variety of topics in law and in love. It didn't take long before Lina started to slur in her words, to which Alex found amusing.

"Looks like someone didn't pace herself," she observed as she sipped her cocktail.

"Ah don't mind me, had to cleanse my palate after all the boring sessions earlier," Lina toasted her glass on hers, wobbling as she shifted to face her. "We are a rare breed, us fighters," she leaned towards Alex, lowering her voice to a whisper. "We like-minded women should just stick together, you know?"

Alex was relieved she turned her down the second time. Barely listening to her, she started to drift off as Lina continued rambling on, turning around to face the crowds as her eyes tried to locate that handsome man. Alex smirked when she found Gabe's sexy outline.

"Lot of ungrateful dipshits being freed from prison, even after we work our asses off proving they deserved an earlier release. Khan, Kozlowski, those celebrities involved with the Ivy League admission scandal? Hell, even small town criminal Cornell was released in the last five years alone!"

And with that last statement, Alex froze. "Say that again?"

Confused, Lina stuttered as if she can't remember what she was saying. To Alex's annoyance, she went silent, apparent that more humiliation was on the way. Lina abruptly stood, covering her mouth with her hand as she sprinted to the bathroom. Alex let her pass.

Assured that she'll be fine with her colleagues flanking her, Alex started to obsess over Lina's last sentence.

Was that just the patron? Or am I getting too drunk and starting to hear things? She asked herself, bewildered at how randomly Lina mentioned a Cornell.

With an exasperated sigh, she decided it wouldn't hurt to check. She pulled out her phone from her purse and fired up a search engine, where she typed in the godforsaken name. Alex tapped enter.

As soon as the results loaded, she felt the world crumble beneath her.

No, no, no, no, no. This fucking didn't happen.

She clicked on one of the articles from a local news outlet. The picture beneath the headline shoving her nightmares front and center. There it was, the title written in bold stated loud and clear: Cornell Son Gets Early Release.

Alex bit her lip as she fought to gather herself together, speed reading through the article. This was definitely a surprise, but what really got her reeling was the figure of a man walking behind Maximilian. She'd pick up who that was from anywhere within a mile radius.

Alex tried to keep herself rational, but the shock rippled through her, enough to shake off the alcohol in her system. And why did her stomach churned like she was punched in the gut a hundred times over? Why did she felt fucking betrayed?

Unexpectedly, she knew it wasn't discovering Cornell was now walking freely in the streets.

Deep down, Alex was aware it was because Gabe Ricci was involved. Either way, it looks like her high and mighty boss has some explaining to do.

Her blood boiled, a myriad of questions went through her mind. Resolute, she wanted those damn questions answered. Tonight.

She downed her drink and slammed the empty glass on the bar, sending a text to draw Gabe's attention.

She looked over where he stood, watching the frown in his face as he read her message. She clicked her head, beckoning him outside.

Even he can't fathom the fire storm that was about to come his way.

Author's Notes 2: Thank you for your continued reading! 💖 How do you think things will go down next? Let me see your reactions on your comments and reblogs!

Tag list: @adiehardfan @pixelnutrookie @starryjieun @latinagiraffe @sarcastic01lily @spookycolorpeanut @ophrookie @suitfer @thegreentwin @mkatschoicesblog @made-of-roses @lillijill

@choicesficwriterscreations

[emma-nation]

The Devil In I - Bela x OC (Resident Evil Village AU) - Chapter 7

“Step inside, see the Devil in I”

Summary: Aleena Novak is a 19 years old orphan who desired more than living in a village in the middle of nowhere. A talented artist with a big future ahead, she gets the scholarship of her dreams in United States. But everything changes when her twin brother, Auryk, steals an important artifact from Castle Dimitrescu.

In this adventure, Aleena will find way more than she expected.

“You’ll realize I’m not your Devil anymore”

Pairing: Bela Dimitrescu x f!OC

Genre: Between T and M (Trigger warning for violence, blood, abuse and eventual smut)

Tag List: @nydeiri

Notes: Thank you for all the reviews, follows and likes! It means a lot to me.

Trigger Warning: Language, abuse, blood and violence.

Castle Dimitrescu, Guest Room - Present Days

Two days had passed and I was still trying to process what was happening. How could my life change so drastically again? I could no longer count on my twin brother, who I considered to be my best friend, the person I trusted the most in the entire world. I was filled by the same emptiness, the same sorrow I felt when my mother died. My life was in the palm of his hands and he was letting me go.

"Relax your shoulders, love," Bela whispered softly in my ear. "You're so tense."

Bela was the only person who still made me smile in the middle of all that chaos. She was helping me to find any clues in the diaries, about Miranda and about Auryk too. But for that, we had to work really fast.

We were sneaking back in the village everyday, it wasn't safe to bring those notes to the castle where Bela's mother and sisters could easily find. I prayed the weather wouldn't change and temperatures remained high. In another case, we wouldn't be able to go to my house again and my time with Lady Dimitrescu was running out.

Meanwhile, we were also working on overcoming my intimacy issues. Being intimate without having sex yet. First, we undressed each other completely. I had to know her body and allow her to know mine. I looked at the perfection of Bela's features for a second, before I was invaded by a mix of embarrassment and discomfort. It was the first time I was seeing a woman, completely naked, in front of me.

When I looked at her again, she was gazing at my body like if she was admiring a masterpiece in an art exhibit. At first, I was shy. I blushed and crossed my arms, as if I had any reasons to hide myself. Bela smiled. In that moment I knew she was appreciating me and that made me feel better.

"You're gorgeous, aren't you?" Bela lifted up my chin, forcing me to look at her, to see it in her eyes she was being truthful on her words.

"No more than you," I gathered some courage to move forward and extend my hand, touching a little bit of her soft skin, her arms, her chest, her stomach... then I stopped.

"This is okay," she assured me. But she understood that, in that moment, it was enough for me.

We both entered the bathtub, where I positioned myself in front of Bela and allowed her to take care of me. She gently rubbed my body with a sponge, starting by my back. Then, she moved to my front, rubbing my breasts, my stomach, my tights. Though we were in silence, she seemed to understand my limits, my barriers. Noticing how stressed I looked, she decided to give me a massage. I relaxed my shoulders as she told, focusing myself completely on our moment together.

"It's my turn," I told her. "Let me take care of you?"

Bela nodded and switched positions with me. I offered her the same treatment she gave me, but I wasn't so confident, so precise. My shaking hands would often betray me and I was unsure if I was being too gentle or too rough. Yet, she seemed to be enjoying it. I gave a special attention on washing her hair, it was so beautiful, so soft. The way it barely grew on the spot around her scar was a sin. I hated Miranda even more for that.

She rested her head against my chest as I continued to massage her scalp.

"Does it hurt?" I softly traced her scar with my finger.

"It stings sometimes," she sighed.

"I'm sorry."

"Does it hurt?" Bela repeated my gesture, tracing the scar on my forearm.

"No," she never asked, yet I felt I should tell her how it happened. "Adrian told me he found me in the basement cutting myself, right after my mom died. But I don't remember."

"Trauma can block some painful memories."

I knew that very well. I realized how little I remembered the days after my mother's death. My last memory was seeing her mangled body being carried inside our house. Nothing else. I didn't remember her burial or if I managed to say goodbye. I couldn't remember if we had people visiting us or if I was alone with my father. Everything about those terrible days was a blur.

----------

Castle Dimitrescu, Office - Present Days

When Lady Dimitrescu called her daughters for a private meeting that morning, Bela couldn't help feeling anxious and scared. Her mother was usually a woman of her word, but when it came to her reputation with Mother Miranda, she'd become completely blind by rage. Alcina really believed her when she suggested Aleena's brother could be responsible for stealing the Lords and also for the attack to the castle, even when the evidences pointed to the opposite.

"I told you so," while they waited outside, Cassandra was smirking deviously. She was determined to do anything to annoy Bela right in the morning. "It won't well for you. Our mother can't betray Mother Miranda and the other Lords because you've fallen in love with a stupid human girl."

"Shut up," Bela decided she wouldn't give in to her provocations. It was Cassandra's favorite manner to extract information from her. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Do you think we're stupid?" Still, her sister wouldn't stop. "Everyone, except for our mother, has noticed already. Me, Daniela, even Mrs. Volkov. Tell me, Bela. Will you keep pretending when we serve her on a silver plate tonight?"

Bela advanced in her sister's direction. Cassandra quickly dissolved into flies, she did the same. The corridor was a mess of flying insects and buzzing for a few minutes, before they had to shape back into their bodies. Now, she'd finally have the chance to inflict her sister some pain. She pinned Cassandra against the wall.

"Stop, you two," Daniela tried to intervene. "What the hell are you doing?"

Cassandra tried to throw a punch, but Bela was a little faster on her reflects, she grabbed her wrist and twisted her arm.

"What's your problem, Cassandra?" Bela angered. "You can't stand the idea she wasn't one of your trophy maidens, isn't it? Just leave me alone. Leave her alone too."

In that moment, they heard the door opening. Lady Dimitrescu appeared in the corridor, with an ugly snarl on her face.

"What the hell is going on here?" She yelled. "I thought I had daughters, but then I come here and you two are fighting like animals."

Daniela sighed relieved. This time, she wasn't included.

"I'm sorry, mother," Cassandra straightened her dress. "It's Bela who's being a bitch."

"You started it," Bela tried to grab her hair, but she deflected. "You're insulting me from the moment I arrived."

"The three of you! In my office, now!"

Bela couldn't feel guilty this time. Something inside her had changed. She didn't care if her mother was disappointed at her behavior, absolutely no one would touch Aleena. Especially Cassandra.

"It's all about that girl, mother," the middle sister proceeded to tell Alcina. "Bela is in love with her. They've been making out around the castle all the time."

"And this is none of your goddamn business!"

"It is, when your actions are putting us all in danger! Her brother..."

"Stop!" Lady Dimitrescu shouted, making they both go silent. "Is it going to be like this anytime a new woman steps inside this castle?"

No. Not for Bela. She didn't care about other women. Cassandra could have them if she wanted, as long as she stayed away from her girlfriend.

"I agree," Cassandra continued. "It has to end. I vote that we drain her tonight."

"CASSANDRA!" Alcina punched the desk, making her stop instantly. "I didn't call you here to talk about this girl."

A part of Bela was relieved, but she when her eyes crossed with her mother's, the feeling of anxiety started growing inside her. Now she knew about her relationship with Aleena. And her sisters too. She couldn't predict how they'd react.

"I'm going to another meeting with Mother Miranda tonight. I expect to find this castle intact when I return. If I discover my daughters are fighting in my absence, I'll be truly disappointed."

"Yes, mother," Daniela said. "No one is going to fight anymore. Right?"

Cassandra rolled her eyes at the youngest sister. Bela only gave her an annoyed look.

So that was the reason of their visit to Lady Dimitrescu's office. For now, Aleena was safe. They still had a few days to gather information about Mother Miranda and whatever she was planning. Bela was about to leave after her sisters when her mother called her back. She froze.

"Bela, you stay. We need to talk."

"Yes, mother?" She sat in front of her mother again.

"What were you and Cassandra fighting about?"

"I-I... uh, it's true. I'm in love with Aleena."

Bela decided it was time to stop lying. After all her mother was the person she trusted the most in this world, besides Aleena. Lady Dimitrescu stared at her face emotionless. Bela couldn't figure out what she could be thinking. She looked down, avoiding her mother's intense gaze.

"It's different this time," she explained. Although Alcina never bothered when they got involved with women, she hated the mess it usually caused. Sometimes Cassandra would slaughter her partners in her bedroom or some other place too hard to be cleaned. Daniela fell in love too easily, always having her heart broken when she discovered the subject of her affection was only using her to escape the castle and the fate every servant usually had. In this process, a lot of other things would break too. Such as the castle's furniture and the servant's bones. "I'm doing things right. I even asked her to be my girlfriend."

Bela wouldn't get involved with women so often as her sisters, but when she did, it surely never ended well. They'd become disappointed when they found out she didn't reciprocate their feelings. There would be a lot of arguing, tears and some of them would even dare to call her mother for a talk. In the end, they always died anyways.

She had never been in love before. Until now.

"Girlfriend?!" Lady Dimitrescu eyes widened in surprise and she inhaled deeply, closing her eyes. Bela finally knew what what her mother should be thinking about. The woman she once loved. "Oh Bela..."

"She makes me happy, mother. Like I've never been before."

"And this is exactly what concerns me, daughter. You know how it ends."

"It doesn't have to end that way. I'm controlling my instincts very well and..."

"But she's human and young. She's going to study abroad, meet new people who are just like her. Then, she'll forget you ever existed."

That was the one thing Bela had accepted since the moment she decided to kiss Aleena. Soon, they'd be saying goodbye and there would be nothing left for her, only the memories. Yet, it was worthy. Every moment by Aleena's side was precious.

"I know that," she assured Lady Dimitrescu. "Mother, the only thing I want is your word you're letting her go by the end of this week. Whatever her brother did, Aleena's innocent."

"Okay, daughter," her mother's hand touched hers. The corners of her mouth curled up in a small smile. "I promise you. As long as you promise me you and Cassandra will stop fighting."

"Okay, I'll ignore her provocations. I promise."

"You know your sister, Bela. Cassandra is very attached to our family. She's only jealous most of your attention is being dedicated to Aleena."

"Yeah, I know."

Bela held her mother's hand and smiled back at her.

"Girlfriend..." she was still muttering to herself and shaking her head in denial as Bela stood up and started to walk away. "Well, I suppose there were worse options."

As she opened the office's door, ready to leave, Alcina spoke:

"Bela, take care."

"I will."

----------

Castle Dimitrescu, Guest Room - Present Days

I asked my breakfast to be served in my room. Going to the dining room all by myself was pointless, as Bela and her sisters were reunited with their mother in her office. I wondered what they could be discussing. Was it about me or Auryk?

Anyways, our time was running out. I only had until the end of the week to prove my brother's innocence and expose Miranda's betrayal against the Four Lords. There was only one problem, if Auryk wasn't stealing from the Lords, he wasn't involved in something good either. The manner he spoke to me on the phone, it seemed dangerous and secretive.

And there was Bela. Everytime I remembered the page I ripped off from those diaries I'd feel my chest tightening a little bit. I wouldn't let my brother, and whoever he was working for, lay a finger on her. From the moment I arrived, she was nothing but sweet to me. She always did everything to protect me and I was willing to do the same.

Mrs. Volkov entered the room, bringing a tray of food. She locked the door behind her.

"Ms. Novak, I'd like to speak to you in private for a moment," she asked.

I nodded in agreement.

"I couldn't help noticing Ms. Bela coming and leaving this room very often lately."

"Yes," now I could understand why Cassandra was always threatening the staff with her knifes. Even if Mrs. Volkov was trying to protect me, what I did inside my room was none of her business. I feared she'd tell Alcina. "We're working on a personal issue of mine. And I'd appreciate if this information stays between us only."

"My mouth is shut, Ms. Novak. I only beg you to be careful, I've seen many girls like you going missing or being dragged to the dungeons after getting involved with the mistress' daughters."

Of course she had to remind me of the fact my girlfriend probably has had enough partners to fill both sides of a book page.

"Thank you for your concern."

And of course she had to run right into 'Ms. Bela' as she opened the door to leave.

"Mrs. Volkov," she greeted, polite as she always was. Sometimes I wondered if Bela was so well mannered even when she was killing her victims. "Is there anything wrong?"

"Everything's fine, Ms. Bela. I was only serving Ms. Novak her breakfast."

"Thank you. I suppose we're good for now. I call you if we need anything else."

Bela shut the door, immediately forcing the woman to go away. I asked her to lock it, just in case.

"Good morning, love," she sat by my side at the table and pressed a kiss on my cheek. "I hope you saved me some because I'm starving."

"Hey, didn't you just have breakfast with your mom?"

"Not actually, I refused it. I was waiting to have breakfast with you, like we do every morning."

She smiled, causing butterflies in my stomach.

"Aren't you sweet?" I was kinda expecting her to come. I even asked Mrs. Volkov for an extra cup and plate. I passed it to Bela. "I was hoping you'd come."

I retributed her kiss.

"So, what are doing today?" She wanted to know. "Are we coming back to your house? Or would you like to do something different?"

"I wish, but we have to finish reading the diaries. I only have a few days left before your mom decides what she wants to do to me."

"I spoke to her. She's letting you go by the end of the week."

"Is she?" I asked, to be sure.

Bela nodded in response.

I should be happy with the information, Lady Dimitrescu wasn't going to kill me after all. But I wasn't. I was expecting her to protest and keep me as a prisoner for weeks, months, maybe years as it seemed Auryk wasn't coming back. I wanted to be stuck in that castle for the rest of my life, as long as I had Bela by my side.

"She has a meeting with Mother Miranda tonight," she added. "She usually doesn't come back until the morning. We should do something special."

"Like what?"

"Like a date?"

The concept of having a date was a little bit difficult when you lived in a village that wasn't even in the maps Your options were very limited: going to the nearest town, going to the pub or do something at home. The first two options could not end well as we'd be going too far from the castle or if any villagers recognized Bela.

We could stay in my house and order some food, there was this restaurant in town that would deliver even in that hellhole of a place. We could also watch movies and make out on the couch.

Maybe more. I was desperate for more. Especially now I knew we'd be separated soon. I wanted to enjoy every second of your moments together. Yet, I was insecure. I couldn't help thinking of Mrs. Volkov comment regarding Bela's level of experience.

"I think I have something in mind," I grabbed Bela's hand. "Ready?"

----------

Eastern Europe, Aleena's House - Present Days

We rod to the village as were doing every day. I was always concerned some other villager could see me and recognize me. At this point, everybody should know about what happened to me. They'd instantly connect the dots if they saw Bela. When we arrived to my house again, I was relieved. Almost. Until I saw the front door had been forced open.

"Oh fuck," I quickly took my daggers before taking another step into the house. "Somebody broke into my house. They may still be in there."

Bela took some kind of blade from her boots too.

"What? I have my tricks too, love." She asked, noticing I was surprised. "Cassandra isn't the only good hunter."

We carefully opened the door. Before I could even do anything, Bela grabbed me and covered my mouth. Her senses were probably detecting something nearby.

"Shhhh," she pointed to her ears. "I can hear something... in the basement."

"But not all of us are vampires," I muttered. When I noticed, Bela had already vanished, turning into flies. I followed her to the basement, after grabbing a rifle. Before I even got there, I already heard a male voice screaming.

"What the fuck?! What are you freaks even doing here?!"

I recognized it before I could even see the figure. But I waited until I was downstairs to confront him.

"Heisenberg. I could ask you the same," I spoke, pointing the rifle at him even if I knew it was useless. "What are you doing here?"

"You," he turned around from the hidden cabinet where the weapons were stored. "Weren't you trapped at Lady Super Sized Bitch's castle?"

"Have some respect talking about my mother," Bela shaped back into her body. "Not that she has any talking about you. So I guess you both are even."

"Oh great, and you brought one of the daughters with you. At least it's the decent one."

"Are you going to explain what you're doing in my house?" I angered. There was a good reason of why that man was there again. Coincidentally when he had a meeting with Miranda later that day. "Let me guess. You're searching for something to take to the Highest Bitch In Charge tonight. Am I right?"

"Wait, wait..." Heisenberg showed his hand as a sign of truce. I lowered the rifle. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Are you searching for something to take to Mother Miranda in the meeting tonight? Because many things are going missing, under mysterious circumstances that are strangely connected to her."

"Do you think Mother Miranda is the one stealing from the Lords?"

I told him about my conversation with Auryk and his suspicions about Miranda's involvement in the situation.

"I knew it!" Heisenberg kicked away an old wooden chair, shattering it to pieces. I shot Bela a confused glance but she also had no idea of what was going on. "I fucking knew it! She's been plotting against us. I always warned my siblings this day would come but they never believed me."

"We're searching for evidence against her," I explained. "To find out what's her plan. Do you have any ideas?"

"Are you sure you can trust her?" He pointed at Bela. "Her mother is the one who kisses Miranda's ass the most. After Moreau, of course."

"Absolutely," I told. "Bela's with me on the matter."

"Sit down, the two of you, and I'll tell you what I know."

We sat on the armchairs we had down the basement. Heisenberg pulled a bottle of whiskey from one of Adrian's secret hideouts. He was about to take a sip directly from the bottle, but I made him serve all of us. Something told me I'd need alcohol to deal with that conversation.

"All these years serving her and we're only her tests subjects, girl. We were all declared a failure upon bitch Miranda's eyes. Me, Lady Super Sized Bitch, the Moronic Freak, the Ugly-Ass Psycho Doll and even this..." Bela scowled at him, letting him know she wouldn't appreciate any offensive nicknames he could have for her, "this girl and her sisters. We're trapped in this village, being forced to decades of humiliation and servitude."

"Are you telling me you don't worship Miranda like your siblings and the villagers?" I tried to understand.

"No!" Heisenberg shouted. "Can't you see? She has taken everything from me. My humanity, my dignity! And now she has found the perfect vessel for her experiments, she's planning to get rid of us."

I drank the entire cup of whiskey in one sip. I looked at Bela, I could see that deep down she shared the same feelings for Miranda as Heisenberg. She tried to follow me, but judging by her face, she wasn't used to that kind of drink.

"I know what it feels like," she took off her helmet, showing the scar on her head and also the tattoo. "I also hate how she treats my mother and she's always too blind to see it. Whenever she returns from a meeting, I can read it on her face. She's disappointed at herself. She's miserable. She's always feeling she isn't enough for Mother Miranda's purposes."

"Fuck! This is what I'm talking about! Look what she's done to you. Don't you think it's time we end this?"

"Okay," I interrupted their moment of mutual pain. "She really fucked up with you guys, so we need to find a manner to stop whatever she's planning."

"Your father," Heisenberg pointed to me. "That bastard also shared my feelings of revenge and hate against that bitch, but for some reason he never accepted to join forces. I knew he had some diaries that contained some important information, do you happen to know where they are?"

Before I could answer, Bela stepped in and spoke for me.

"This is what we've been searching for," she lied. She looked at me, giving me a signal we shouldn't trust Heisenberg completely yet. "Apparently, Aleena's brother has taken it with him."

"And where's the little criminal?"

"I don't know," I said. "Last time we spoke he was acting shady as fuck. Whatever he's involved with, it's not good."

"Hmmm, drugs probably."

"No! I'm pretty sure my brother isn't... what's a vessel, by the way? You said Miranda has found a perfect one for her experiments."

"A person who can achieve a perfect mutation," it was Bela who answered my question. "One without any flaws, any side effects. Unlike me, the Lords or any person that has turned into a Lycan."

"Exactly," Heisenberg added. "One with a body that will be able to revive her daughter."

"What the fuck..." I always knew Miranda was crazy, but not at that point. All those years, she had been misleading the villagers, the Lords only for her personal uses. "And who's this person? Where are they?"

"I don't know, kid. This is what I'm trying to find. If I destroy the vessel, there will be no ritual. And with the right proof in hands I can lead a rebellion against Miranda."

"You can count on me," I extended my hand to Heisenberg. "If I discover anything, I let you know."

"Smart girl," he shook my hand. "You'll have my full support if you need to escape that demonic castle."

"She doesn't!" Bela angered. "Mother is letting her go."

"Okay. If you need anything else then..." Heisenberg shrugged. Then he looked at Bela. "What about you, little Dimitrescu girl? Can we count on you?"

"Of course," she also extended her hand. "But you can't comment a word about this meeting with my mother tonight. She trusts Miranda above anything, she's going to blow up our plans."

----------

Eastern Europe, Aleena's Bedroom - Present Days

While Aleena was taking a shower, Bela caught herself reading the diaries they found. Such a skilled predator should be proud of her achievements. The reports about her family were gruesome, terrifying, tragic. They were called many things, 'witches', 'monsters', 'abominations'...

"Psychotic bitches," definitely the most creative, a name given by Adrian Novak. Bela never had a personal encounter with Aleena's father, but she had definitely heard nasty stories about him, through Lady Dimitrescu and through Aleena herself. She thought of an appropriate nickname for him too and smirked. "Stupid manthing."

She closed the diary and walked to the mirror. Aleena told her to wear one of her clothes. She looked like a normal girl, one of Aleena's age, maybe two or three years older.

If it wasn't for that scar. That damn scar. When she woke up after the transformation, one of the first things she did was asking her mother how she had gotten it. Was it the reason she died? Later, she found out it was the reason why she was still alive. Something had been implanted in her brain, to transform her into... that. What about that tattoo? Young people had tattoos everywhere but certainly not on their foreheads. She was marked as one of the Dimitrescu daughters. Wherever she went, people would recognize her by that. Especially in the village. Countless times she and her sisters had caused panic among those people.

This was why Aleena couldn't take her out for a date. She couldn't take her to the pub, to meet her friends and do other things couples usually did. Bela clenched her fists in rage and frustration.

"Hey," Aleena left the bathroom, wrapped around a towel. "Sorry for taking so long. You look amazing, by the way."

Before heading to her wardrobe, she passed through Bela and planted a small kiss on her lips. She could live like that forever.

In fact, if the weather suddenly changed and the temperature dropped by the next day, she'd be stuck with Aleena in that house for days, months or even years. She could cook and clean the house while she was out for work. She could even find a manner to earn some money herself. She could be an artist and sell paintings. Or maybe a writer, she was a good one. Maybe she even had money already, after all she was the Countess' eldest daughter.

The idea excited Bela a lot... until she looked at Aleena's desk. If she was stuck in that house with her, she'd be giving up on her dreams of living in California and study in that Art Institute. And Aleena deserved that. More than any person she ever met.

It wouldn't last and she knew it. She always knew it.

"Selfish psychotic bitch," she muttered to herself as she stared at her reflection in the mirror.

----------

Eastern Europe, Aleena's Living Room - Present Days

I couldn't take my mind off my conversation with Heisenberg. I didn't even know how I was supposed to feel. I already hated Miranda before, but now I got the confirmation of the things Bela told me. She was nothing more than an experiment gone wrong and that woman was about to get rid of her and the others. I also thought about Alcina and Donna, who had no idea of what she was planning and trusted her blindly.

I also wondered, who was her perfect vessel? Was it someone from the village? Was it someone she had kidnapped? A million questions were going through my mind.

As soon as I finished getting dressed, Bela had sunk into one of her bad moods, where she became quiet and introspective, after acting normal all day. I already knew her enough to know something happened while I was in the shower and it was consuming her inside. Because as her own mother described, Bela felt everything very intensely.

"Would you like to go back to the castle?" We were in the living room, waiting for our dinner to be delivered. "We can go after dinner if you want."

"No," she said. I had turned on Auryk's video game console. Bela was quite curious about the game I was playing. Her eyes moved quickly as she observed every detail on the screen. "Not yet."

"Do you need to feed?"

"No, I'm okay."

I paused the game. Whatever happened, nothing seemed to distract Bela from it. She was quiet as in the morning she fought her mom or that night in her bedroom, before we kissed for the first time.

"Okay... why don't you tell me what happened? I left you alone in my room for some minutes and now you're upset."

Bela took a deep breath, as if she was trying to recompose herself and leave her emotions aside for the night.

"I'm not upset, love," she told me. "I'm focused."

"On what?" I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"If you don't move to the left side, like this," Bela took the controller from my hands, unpausing the game and making a move herself. "You're going to get yourself killed."

And she was right. Apparently her vampire senses worked for literally anything.

"Know what?" I turned off the console. "I'm done with this for the night. I already know I wouldn't be able to beat you if we played against each other anyways."

"What a sore loser," Bela finally let out a laugh. Mission accomplished, I was able to get her out of her bad mood.

"We'll see about that later."

"Will we?"

She lay on top of me, staring deeply into my eyes in an attempt to look dangerous. She pressed her lips against mine and I wrapped my arms around her body pulling her as closer as possible. Bela deepened the kiss, sliding her tongue inside my mouth. The way her tongue massaged mine, the way our bodies were moving together, the way my hands were exploring every inch of her perfect body... I was feeling things I had never experienced before. A heat that spread through every part of me. She finished her kiss biting my lower lip, leaving me stunned, breathless.

"I'm sorry, I got too carried away," she said, when we stopped. "We're almost setting ourselves on fire here."

"No, I want more," as I gazed into her beautiful golden yellow eyes, I couldn't be more sure. "I want us to burn."

Bela raised one eyebrow suggestively, as if she was trying to confirm what I had just told her. I let out a small laugh and nodded in confirmation.

"Then..." she pressed another kiss on my lips, "we should head back to your bedroom. Don't you think?"

I was about to give her an answer when the door bell rang. It was the delivery service bringing our dinner.

"Fuck, I had totally forgotten," I took a deep breath, trying to recompose myself.

"We can resume from where stopped later, if you want."

----------

I wanted it. I definitely wanted it, but I was too nervous for my own sake. If I didn't calm down, I'd end up ruining things. I remembered the night I invited a girl I was dating to my house. Even after having a lot of alcohol to calm my nerves and get me in the mood, I panicked. I panicked and locked myself in the bathroom until she went away. Needless to say she never wanted to see me again.

To try to distract myself, after dinner I sat down on my desk, reading carefully a page of the diary in front of me. The calligraphy was barely readable. Apparently that one belonged to my grandfather, Erik Novak, during his teenage years.

"March 13, 1962

The Lycan attacks have intensified during these days. It's almost impossible to even leave the house. My poor sister, Astrid, has been attacked while she was outside tending for the animals. We don't expect her to survive. The infection has spread to her whole body. Father suggested we put an end to her misery. Mother is still hoping for a miracle. We called Mother Miranda for guidance."

I felt a shiver going down my spine. It was almost like I could watch that scene playing in my mind, like a movie. I held the picture of Astrid, her beautiful dark hair and soft facial features. Such a terrible fate she was victim of. Why did my family still insisted on living in that goddamn place for generations after such a tragedy?

"Okay, I finally picked one," Bela emerged in my bedroom. She was in the living room, too amazed by my Netflix account. With so many movie options in front of her, she didn't know where to start. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I closed the diary. "I was just reading an entry while you chose. My grandfather's sister, she was bitten by a Lycan."

"It seems to happen quite often in your family. One of the diaries I read also reported a Lycan attack."

"It's like a family curse. In my generation, it was my mom. But in her case, there was not even time to develop an infection."

Family drama. Nothing related to the clues we were searching for. I decided to not think about anything else related to that village, Auryk or even Miranda for the next few hours. I wanted to enjoy my time with Bela, exclusively.

"So, let's see what you chose, Ms. Dimitrescu."

For my surprise, Bela had picked a Disney movie. I thought it was extremely cute, I was kinda expecting her to choose something classical or even an horror movie.

"Do you like this one?" She asked.

"I love it," I wrapped an arm around her shoulders as we sat down on the couch. "And I'll love it even more now it's the first movie we watch together."

I didn't make any interruptions as we watched the movie. Bela seemed so entertained, so genuinely happy. I remembered she probably had never seen a movie before. I didn't see any TVs inside the castle. If they even had one, they didn't have access to Netflix or any other modern features. I simply enjoyed the sensation of having her in my arms or the sensation of caressing her hair. I learned to appreciate the sound of her laugh more than anything in this world. When we met, I'd rarely hear it and now it was something she did often.

The world was easier when we were alone, just the two of us. Two lonely, misfit and traumatized individuals. Bela seemed to be the only person who understood my feelings, and I was this person for her too.

When the first movie ended, I asked if she wanted to see another one. She told me to choose this time and I picked a romance. With a happy ending.

God, we deserved to have a happy ending too. We both had gone through so much already. I had to stop Miranda. I couldn't let her take Bela from me.

----------

Eastern Europe, Aleena's Bedroom - Present Days

It was already two in the morning when we returned to my bedroom.

"Are you sure your mother isn't going to freak out or anything?" I asked as we prepared the bed. "Cassandra is definitely going to tell her. If she gets mad the claws will come out to play and it's kinda scary."

"As long as the dragon remains inside, we're okay," the corners of Bela's mouth curled up in a smile.

"Dragon?!"

"Nevermind, it's a joke. A myth the villagers invented. Don't worry, I don't think she's going to mind. I told her about us this morning and she took it very well."

"This is quite a surprise."

We lay on the bed and my heart started thundering inside my chest. I wasn't sure if she remembered what we started before dinner and that I had intentions of resuming later.

"I wish we could have this everyday," she spoke softly, when we were face to face. "This is the reason why I was upset."

"Why does it upsets you?" I asked.

"While I was here alone, I kinda wished the temperature would drop and I'd be stuck here with you for a while. Then I realized I was being selfish."

"You're not selfish. To be honest, I kinda wished the same. I don't wanna go away. I want to stay with you, forever."

Bela took my hand, holding it very tightly for a few seconds and then, she released.

"You can't, Aleena. You don't deserve this life, in this place. You deserve more. You deserve to go after your dreams, move to California, go to college, be with a girl that actually deserves you."

"I don't want another girl, Bela. I want you. I want you the way you are, with your virtues and also your flaws. That's what made me fall in love with you."

I'd usually let her take the lead, but this time I kissed her, hard and desperate. I didn't want to think about the idea of being away from her. Or being with somebody else. Even if we couldn't be outside most of the time. Even if I had to work on the pub for the rest of my life. Even if she needed to drink human blood. I didn't mind if my friends or my brother never accepted my relationship with her. In that moment, I had everything I ever wanted and I wouldn't waste it. I couldn't wish for anything else.

When I realized, I felt her hand going down my shirt, caressing my stomach.

"Do you still want to do this?" She asked.

"More than anything."

I knew Bela had probably done that a thousand times before, but I wondered if she was always so tender, so careful. She knew that was an important moment to me, I was letting down the last of my emotional barriers for her, so she acted cautiously on every move she made next.

First, she kissed me again for a very long time. I assumed she was giving me enough time to think if I was truly prepared. Then, her mouth placed a trail of kisses for all the way down to my neck.

We undressed each other, Bela lay on top of me and as she kissed me again, I couldn't stop thinking how good it was the feeling of having her naked body so close to mine. This time, I felt confident enough to explore parts of her I wasn't prepared the last time.

"What?" I asked when we parted and she gazed deeply into my eyes. "Am I doing it wrong?"

"I have something to confess, love," she opened a beautiful smile. "I'm a little nervous too."

"Come on. Mrs. Volkov was scolding me this morning, telling me I was only one of the many women she saw leaving your bedroom."

"Yes, but it's the first time I do it with a woman I'm in love with."

It was my turn to smile. With my hand on her chest, I sensed how quick her heart was beating too.

"Well," I whispered seductively in her ear, "she's very in love with you too. So you don't have to be nervous."

"Just tell me if you want me to stop, okay?"

I nodded in agreement and pulled her face for another kiss. As Bela's hands traveled through my body, caressing my inner tights, I was shivering in anticipation. By the time she touched me where I wanted her the most, my first reaction was to shudder.

"How does that feel?" She wanted to know. "Do you like it, love?"

"Yes!" I threw my head back as her fingers continued to stroke my center. "Oh my god, yes. Please don't stop."

"I don't plan to. We're only getting started."

I was still nervous. I didn't know how I was supposed to act. Should I do something to please her too? Should I be silent? Because I was fighting so hard against the wild impulses inside of me, that wanted to moan and scream Bela's name as loud as I could. I buried my mouth on her collarbone trying to muffle a moan.

"This is okay," she stopped for a second, looking at me with those gorgeous eyes. "Just relax. You're being perfect."

I simply nodded in agreement. I just wanted her to continue what she was doing, but she had other plans in mind...

"What about now?" Bela inserted one finger inside me and started to move, slow and gentle. "Does it hurt?"

"N-No... this feels great..." I could barely form a coherent sentence anymore. In fact, I noticed I had stopped breathing. Yes, I could die right now and I'd die a happy woman. Was that what my father was trying to protect me from with his sick ritual? I couldn't be more happier to have broken his rules. I couldn't be more happier I waited and did exactly I was told to stay away from.

My heart was racing really fast. I felt all my muscles were starting to become tense. Bela inserted another finger inside me, moving a little bit faster and harder, but still making sure she wasn't causing me any pain.

And in that moment, I completely lost myself. My back arched and my whole body started to tremble under her body. Bela held me tightly. I relaxed too, wrapping my arms around her.

"Are you okay, love?"

"More than okay," I answered between pants. "To be honest, I think I've never felt so great before."

"Is there anything else you want me to do?"

"Yes, you can now show me how I can please you."

We switched positions and Bela guided my hand as I tried to follow the same path as she did. She also rocked her hips to meet my rhythm. I wasn't so confident as she was. I was afraid I could do anything that could hurt her. But she was a patient teacher and I was a quick learner. Soon, she was already trembling in my arms too and I knew I had done it right.

I thought we were done with the best part, but I was wrong. After pressing one final kiss on my lips, Bela rested her head on my chest and said words I'd never forget.

"I love you."

[fangirl-everythang]

Happy Father's Day Part 3

Summary: 3/3 Well, its the last part.

Warning: Sad, Mentions Death.

Word Count: 2269

"Harry? " I answer the phone.

"It's not Harry but glad you know your numbers." that high pitch annoying ass voice squeals. Rubbing my stomach, the baby's in go position and any day now my oven will be done baking. And of course, this bitch is answering his phone.

"Well bye-bye just thought you should know where he was at. " In the background, I hear Harry's voice going on about something so it must be true. Hanging up I sigh letting the hot tears roll down my cheeks. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I blame myself really, I let him back into my life and this doesn't surprise me. I gotta pee.

Waddling over to the bathroom door a gasp leaves my mouth feeling the surge of liquids fall between my legs. Holy shit. My water broke! Fuck gotta go. Thankful my bag was already in the car. Harry had insisted once I hit the 36-week mark claiming Styles's are either early or fashionably late.

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. My knuckles turning white as I grasp the wheel. Nope, I'm not pushing anything out of my vagina. Can't do it. I refuse.

The contraction going away after a few brief moments of completely unreasonable pain. Dialing the numbers, I know by second nature, thankfully she picks up on the fourth ring.

"I don't think you should drive y/n"

" Just call 911. I'm almost there! " Gemma ecstatically shouts. She's just like her brother, "Where's Harrold? "

I put the seatbelt on and wince. It's just 28 minutes I can do this. "He's with his whore."

I can hear an audible gasp, "he wouldn't he's so excited for Athena"

"Well I just called him and she answered. " I grunt keeping my eyes on the two lanes ahead of me. Fuck I hate merging lanes people don't know how to drive.

"I'll be at the hospital as soon as possible but my phones gonna-" the line went dead. She did say she was on like 10% oh well.

I can do this just focus y/n. "Hear that baby girl we're almost there, hang on okay Hunny. " I say as a reminder to myself that soon I'll be leaving with another human with me.

6 miles to go that's what I'm talking about, another sharp pain spreads throughout my abdomen while waiting for the light to turn green. "OH COME ON. FOR FUCKS SAKE!" they're getting closer by the minute. Shit. Arriving at a four-way intersection. I'm relieved to be at a red light, the contractions are longer and much more frequent. "Almost there Athena, this is the last light and a straight shot from there."

Abruptly my car is jerked forward with a sharp impact pushing to the oncoming lights. All I see are lights from both directions colliding with my 3,000-pound piece of metal. Sounds of shattering glass and sirens are the last thing I hear before it all fades to black.

||||||||||||||||

Harry's POV

"Has anyone seen Mr. Style's phone?" The helpful aid asked around the dressing room. I could've sworn I put it down for a moment. Y/n could go into labor any minute now and how I am supposed to know. Fuck. I'm stupid.

I was supposed to be here to perform and list nominees and then go back home to y/n. I can't wait to propose to her, she's all I could ever want and she's giving me the most wonderful gift I could ever ask for. Running a hand through my damp hair, the lights really build a sweat, I hear a familiar voice. "Looking for this lover? " she asks slipping my phone into my pocket.

"Good luck at home. " she smiles and winks. Before I could question it she walks away.

Looking down at the device my heart skips a beat, I have 146 missed calls. And I've been gone for 5 hours. Seeing Gemma's name on the screen again I swipe to answer.

"Hell-"

"Harry," she says sniffling.

"Gemma what's wrong? did I miss it? Oh my god I hope not"

"I think it would be best if you came now Harry." she breaks her voice cracking.

"Gem what?"

"Listen Harry, she needs you right now so please." she cries. Not needing another word, I tell Jackson the address and that I need to be there as fast as possible, 45 minutes later we're pulling into the Labor and Delivery section of the hospital.

"Congrats Harry!" Jackson says letting me out at the door. "Thank you!" I beam back at him.

Seeing Gemma, her eyes are puffy with tears still flowing. "Gem what's wro-," a sharp pain to my right cheek stings. Never has Gemma hit me like that, well not since I cut her prom dress. "How could you Harry? Cheat on her again WITH TAYLOR for Christ sakes!" She yells.

"I didn't cheat," I explain to my sister as calm as I can.

She looks at me with wild eyes pulling me into a hallway with fewer people, "Then what happened Harrold?" I clench my jaw instead of speaking, how dare she accuse me of cheating on my pregnant soon-to-be fiancé. Y/n Styles has a great catch don't you think?

"Is she here yet? Gem where are they?" I ask ready to see my new family.

She begins crying again "Harry there was an accident." Those five words make my breathing come to a halt. My heart shatters in a million pieces "Is Y/n okay? What happened?" She begins walking me to a door. "This one," she points. Looking through the glass I see y/n with bruises and cuts to her beautiful face, her stomach nearly deflated from when I last saw her this morning, a cast on a swollen leg of hers, and a sling holding a very damaged arm. Tears brim at my eyes looking at my love on that hospital bed. "She's awake." Gemma walks past me running to the outside.

I gently knock on the door, waiting for a response which I don't get. "Y/n?" I approach her almost as If I were going to help an injured puppy. "Hey love" I smile at her which she glares at me and then turns wincing in pain. "You wanted this didn't you Harry?" I look at her confused. "This is probably great for you, a way out. Well leave." She states using whatever energy she can find.

"Baby I didn't want- I want you and Athena" She breaks down in uncontrollable tears.

"You were with that her and couldn't even bother to pick up your phone!" she screams. "Y/n I wasn-" a knock at the door interrupts my sentence, "Come in" She says glaring at me as a nurse opens the door.

"Hey there Mama, we have a visitor." the nurse wheel in a tiny cart that has a bunch of equipment coming from it. She looks at me and asks Y/n, "Is this dad?" she nods and rolls her eyes. "About time you made it!" She smiles my way. Placing the beautiful baby in front of us. She's so small and fragile. "The doctor will be in shortly to talk to you." She states picking up the tiny child and putting her in Y/n's arm.

"Hi pumpkin," Y/n coos into her ear. "Guess who decided to show?" She smiles, a tear falling from the corner of her eye. She nods her head towards me as I go to hold her. She's so soft and precious. Her small eyes have a gorgeous mix of both mine and Y/n's. She has such a cute round face, I couldn't imagine her looking any different.

"Hi there angel, I'm so sorry I was late." I see a spot dampen on her blanket that surrounds her, knowing that I'm crying. Her small eyes shining like twinkling stars. So small I can feel her fragile body between my large hands.

Another knock before the door opens when several doctors walk in. "Mrs. Y/ln, unfortunately, we have some bad news,"

"Oh, hello there Mr. Styles." They state acknowledging my existence. One of the female doctors places a black and white image on the lighted board illuminating the small figure.

"Unfortunately, due to the accident, Athena has suffered from what we call a fetomaternal hemorrhage."

"What exactly are you saying?" Y/n ask looking at the child still in my arms.

The slightly shorter male doctor points to the image. "This is an abscess of blood in the brain. Unfortunately, the risk is too large to operate. I'd give her another day at most."

"You m-mean," Tears start pouring down her face" I was so scared she was hurt. I-I promise I saw the light it was red, and I-I stopped but," She began heaving losing more air with each word. I gently rub her back as I cradle Athena with one arm.

"She's still being monitored but I'm afraid she won't have much longer." The first doctor breaks the silence. "According to the police report the car that struck you from behind happened to be a drunk driver, Gage Joyce." I can feel the anger surging through me. "I remember the clashing of metal, glass breaking, the sirens but it all went b-black." She mumbles, seemingly remembering the awful experience. I grab her hand in hopes of comforting her but it doesn't seem to work.

"After striking your car at 72 mph it had ample force to push your vehicle into the opposite traffic. Your vehicle took the most impact and was hit by four other cars. On scene, EMT's said you were in and out of consciousness mumbling about a baby. Taken and brought to the L&D." he finishes.

"Fetomaternal hemorrhages are often caused by trauma and sometimes can be revered but in this case, we've done all we can do." They all frown looking at the small girl still in my arms.

"No, there's got to be more you can bloody do! We're in a hospital for Christ sakes!" I exclaim, passing my daughter to the love of my life. She gently caresses her soft skin. She's literally a perfect combination of us. I cannot lose my family.

"You can leave, thank you all for your help." y/n says quietly, they oblige by her wishes and leave us with our daughter.

"Harry," she wipes a tear from her face cautious of the IV placed on her hand, "If what they say is true, I just want to spend time with her." She sniffles. I nod understanding. She looks back at the small being in her arms, "Hi pretty girl, Mommy's so happy to meet you," she unfolds the blanket from her. I sit next to her on the small bed in the room that smells of sterilization. Placing my finger near hers' she wraps her small hand around my thumb, her grip so tight for someone so small. Y/n kisses her forehead, "Harry," she runs her finger along her small legs.

"Can you sing the song?" nodding and softly singing Isn't she Lovely by Stevie Wonder, in the small hospital bed as our new life falls asleep. All night I watch her little chest rise and fall allowing y/n to get some rest soon following my two loves.

By the early morning, nurses are rushing in because of the loud beeping from the monitor, waking y/n and I. It feels like everything is happening so fast but in slow motion right in front of me. Those three words are the ones I didn't want to hear. "No! no. I have to take her home. She's gotta go home..." Y/n screams, not being able to see her face due to the tears in my eyes falling and rebuilding themselves faster than the speed of light. "Call it." One of the nurses shouts.

"Time of Death 6:18 am March 7th, 2019"

As they cleared out the room, I see her small lifeless body curled into a blanket, almost as if she were sleeping, but no longer do breaths fall from her small heart-shaped lips.

//////////////////////////

Y/n hasn't said a word since we got in the car. It's been four days since we lost Athena. She slowly climbs into the car, still sore from the accident and birth. I go to the backseat holding back my emotions and putting the empty car-seat in the trunk of the car that should have been holding three of us.

Starting the silent journey back home she continues to look out of the window, a frown etched on her mouth, tears rolling down her cheeks as she instinctively touches her somewhat deflated stomach. What kind of sick joke is this?

"Harry why were you with her?" she asks me looking down at what used to be her baby bump.

"I wasn't love, she took my phone while I was on stage." She just nods and remains silent until we pull up to the flat. She begins walking up the stairs as best she can. "Y/n wait, let me help."

"No Harry!" She yells. Pain evident in her voice, ignoring her I open the door and help her inside. "Harry I can't do this." I stare at her confused, "What can't you do y/n?"

"Us Harry. I can't look at you and not think of her." She sobs.

"Y/n we can-" I try to reason with her.

"No Harry, please just go." She whispers.

"I'm not losing both of you," I state holding back my own sobs. I feel like everything feels like it's getting smaller around me, suffocating in grief.

"You already have."

A/N: What can I say I have a thing for dark endings. Anyways I really appreciate the support loves. I hope you enjoy these! Right now I've been working on a Loki piece, I'm so excited for it. I changed the writing style tho, so it's not 1st person per usual. I think it's going pretty well so far.

xoxo Janelle

[a-pretty-nerd]

Devon Characters × Trans Masc Reader

Request: "hii, i wanted to ask you, a Devon (any character) x interssex enby (he/they pronouns) like... you only do cis males and cis females idk it'd be fun if you did a trans man, trans woman or an enby. could u do that for the Ts??? (trans)" ~ Anon

A/N: I love this request. I'm kinda out of my Devon obsession phase, but I'll always think he's amazing. But I really love this request and I'm always happy to write more inclusive stuff! So don't be afraid to ask, I just don't write for Rodrick Heffley anymore really. It just makes me a little uncomfy.

Warnings: NSFW content.

Rodrick:

SFW

Pure of Heart, Dumb of Ass

Has a vague idea of what it means he to trans.

Completely lost at the non-binary part.

You're gonna have to explain a lot to him, unfortunately.

But he's very willing to learn.

He will forget you use both he/they pronouns and probably end up sticking to he/him most of the time.

Says things like, "this is my boyfriend."

Unless you correct him in which case he gets SUPER embarrassed and apologizes profusely.

At first he's nervous to be with a trans masculine person.

It's like the nervousness of any new relationship (because he's a nervous wreck anyhoo) mixed with the newness of a new person.

He's very, VERY proud of you though.

He loves to bring you everywhere and just but like, "THIS IS MY PARTNER, AREN'T THEY AMAZING!?"

And everyone's like, "Yes, we know, we've met before."

He likes to share clothes. Correction, he likes it when you steal his clothes and he steals clothes from you.

It gives him butterflies in his tummy.

NSFW

He's a fumbling idiot anyways.

You're gonna have to guide him through what works for you.

But omg is he eager.

Like he's a horny bastard anyways, but like it's you we're talking about.

He's like, obsessed with you.

He'd be so embarrassed if you knew that, but it's true.

He has a hard on before you're even fully naked.

Sometimes he gets lost in his own pleasure so you kinda have to bring him back down to earth.

But usually he prioritizes you.

It makes him very happy to know how to make you squirm.

Jasper:

SFW

Gender isn't really a priority for Jasper.

He's also not too concerned with what's in your pants.

He's just happy to have a partner, honestly.

He's very emotionally dependent on you at times and that can lead to arguments or complications.

But he works very hard to be a good boyfriend for you.

He does tend to forget to introduce you as his partner sometimes so people just assume you're close friends at first.

But then they see you kiss and they're like, "Oooooh" and everyone moves on because it's the dystopia future and no one has time for homo/transphobia.

Jasper is very protective of you. Like if someone even looks at you funny he's about to throw hands.

You will have to drag him away from fights.

NSFW

I mean he's very new to sex in general so be patient. Especially if you're an afab individual.

Sometimes he can be hard on himself if he doesn't get it right away, but if your patient with him, he'll be too.

That wait is very worth it though.

Like damn.

Jasper LOVES oral.

It's like his favorite, receiving, giving, all of the above.

Adam:

SFW

I imagine that he's mostly dated feminine people, even had some experiences with other trans people but they were usually on the feminine side.

But he's also a horny bastard and is down for almost anything.

I feel like someone that isn't what he's used to would be really good for him.

Like it would force some much needed character growth on him.

At first when you start going out people also assume your his weird little friend.

Until they see you drunk make out.

Or they see the PDA.

Adam's a PDA guy.

To the point where you might have to tell him to fuck off.

His hand is ALWAYS in your back pocket.

NSFW

Hi? Hello. Horny B a s t a r d man.

Reporting for duty.

He can find anything to love about any body.

I think he's probably an ass guy.

He's really kinky but not in a polished, let's have hours of bandages play sex.

Like dirty sex. Like quickies in between classes shit.

Also he's a dirty talker.

You will have to tell him what to call you to make you feel good. But the moment he has that info-

Be ready dude.

Casper:

SFW

Nervous. Very Nervous.

What if he asks you the wrong questions?

What if he offends you?

What if he calls you the wrong thing on accident?! (He never does unless you had to come out to him)

What if he's a bad allie!?!?!

These are all if you take Casper as a cis dude.

Honestly I feel like he could also be trans lol

Honestly all of Devon's characters could be so easily.

ANYWAYS

He's precious.

He's always thinking about you and how awesome you are and he thinks you're really REALLY cool.

He tries to hide all the weird paranormal stuff from you at first thinking that you would think it was weird.

He's so relieved when you're not scared away by him.

He really loves and admires you like no other.

NSFW

Knows nothing about nothing.

Like he's seen porn and he masturbates but like he's never been with someone else.

You are gonna have to guide him through it.

He's always really worried he's hurting you for some reason.

Like you'll moan in pleasure and he thinks he's hurting you.

Lots of encouragement and reassurance.

Silver:

SFW:

I feel like Silvers definitely been with a trans person before. Especially Trans masculine people.

He's very PC, very hyper aware, very active.

You will be joining him for a lgbtq+ or BLM March.

You will also have to be the one to bring the sunscreen and water bottles and other necessities.

He brags about you a lot.

You're gonna have to beg him to take care of himself and baby him.

Like seriously he's really annoying like that.

He's a homemaker though.

Like he will redecorate your shared spaces with some expensive vegan handmade whatever it is.

He burns a lot of incense and candles and then uses those candle holders as bowls.

You'll be eating cereal and look down at the bowl and be like:

"Hey babe, where'd we get this bowl from?"

And Silver will looks over and say:

"Oh that was from my sandlewood and eucalyptus candle from (insert vegan cruelty free small owned business here)."

NSFW

Bottom.

He's a total bottom.

Prepare to top.

Will only top if he's under the influence and feeling particularly fun.

I don't know why, he just has that vibe to me.

He likes out door sex.

He likes scented lube.

He's also pretty affectionate but not like handsy.

Idk why but I feel like he also likes to be dominated?

I feel like it'd be really easy to make him cry.

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Peace! It's nice to meet you, fellow mbti person! I'm so glad to have stumbled upon an ISTJ who is into typology! I have a request. I typed Elsa from Frozen in a post (I'll tag you) and I argued that she is not an ISTJ. I wanted to know what you thought, particularly if I made any mistakes in understanding the ISTJ personality type. Thank you so much in advance! I hope it's not too much of a bother. I'm an INTP btw.

Hi,

I want to start out with the following: for anyone reading, do not make a habit of having me analyze your posts about fictional characters. I am happy to help you type yourself, or answer questions about MBTI. However, in case it was not clear from the fact that I have only typed fictional characters in response to direct questions, that my answers have typically been very brief, and that I’ve repeatedly directed people to blogs that specifically focus on character typing, I’m not really interested. I should note: I had fun because I love picking up my metaphorical red pen and writing “wrong” over every other sentence, but it did also take me like an hour and a half and it’s over 3 pages long, and I don’t have time to do that regularly.

With all that said, the post had sufficient issues with both basic logical argument structure (I would very strongly recommend you revisit that INTP typing of yourself and look at something with high Fe instead) as well as understanding of MBTI that, because you asked directly, I will go through said issues. I want to make it very clear: this is going to be harsh. For both that and for the length I’m putting it below a read-more such that if you were looking for a brief thumbs up or down and not for extensive criticism, you are welcome to ignore it, block me, or whatever is best for you.

Basic argument structure: you open repeatedly with the most subjective arguments - that she gives off Fi and Ni vibes and you don’t see the Si in her. This will convince no one but yourself.

This argument is also mostly focused on “other people think this, but I don’t” which I find is only useful in a process of elimination argument. We’ll get to the final typing eventually but it is generally stronger to argue in favor of what you believe and then address potential disagreement rather than the reverse; by the time you get to ISFP I’ve read so many incorrect assumptions and subjective asides that I’ve long since stopped valuing the analysis of the work.

Issues with the ISTJ argument

(note: I have, and continue to type Elsa as an ISTJ so this will be the longest section in that I’m both pointing out flaws and arguing in favor of ISTJ; the rest will be solely focused on MBTI misconceptions or logical fallacy).

While it’s true people often mistake trauma for Si, this argument seems to equate trauma with being stuck in the past (people can just be stuck in the past without trauma for whatever other reason - it’s not healthy but it does not necessarily indicate literal trauma). There is also a false opposition here: It’s absolutely valid to argue that Elsa is traumatized, but that does not preclude her having Si, merely removes one argument in favor of Si.

You define Si (gathering concrete details to understand what to expect) but don’t actually argue why Elsa doesn’t do this. I’d argue, in opposition to the statement later in this paragraph, that she does. She is aware from the past that her abilities can harm her sister. She is aware from her past that when she avoided Anna, Anna was safe. She hasn’t been happy with the “conceal don’t feel” line, but it has achieved her goals and her expectation is that she’ll hurt someone if she stops following it.

If you’re referring to an Si-Fi loop (wallowing in self-pity), it doesn’t use Te since that’s how loops work. You don’t explicitly say this is in the context of looping although you introduce looping in the second sentence, but if you are referring to a loop this is incorrect. It’s true that ISTJs are often likely to use Si (preference for familiar/existing structures) and an Fi understanding of morality to direct their energies when they wish to change something (ie, they will change things through existing channels) but the focus on speaking out about injustice here is much more in line with enneagram 1 - a very common enneatype for ISTJs and an enneatype that’s rare for any non-TJ types, but not the enneatype I’d give Elsa nor an inherent ISTJ trait itself.

The part about self-discipline is mixed - a lot of ISTJs are very disciplined in certain areas (particularly professional/familial) but can neglect the self (not getting enough exercise/not eating well, not addressing burnout or more emotional issues) and I’d argue again, Elsa shows this: she’s not addressing the fact that she’s lonely and miserable, but she’s highly disciplined with regards to concealing her abilities and avoiding Anna even though it’s the very thing making her lonely and miserable.

I don’t necessarily think Let It Go is indicative of an Ne grip, but one can make changes outside of a grip, so this isn’t a useful argument, as it argues why an Ne grip is wrong, not why ISTJ is wrong - I would merely argue she’s not gripping at that time. Which is a general issue here: the argument you provide in this paragraph isn’t arguing against ISTJ, it’s arguing against other people’s arguments for ISTJ, which is an important distinction.

The final paragraph of the ISTJ section has numerous issues: ISTJs are not rebellious. They are not as resistant to change as stereotypes indicate, but even a healthier version of ISTJ Elsa would be unlikely to rebel and rather try to understand her parents’ argument, research other options, or look for a way to gain control over her powers while still working within the normal hierarchy. I addressed self-discipline (I should add: I don’t think a child/young woman having difficulty controlling magical powers with no training is an argument against self-discipline; my argument for self-discipline is that she stays in her room and away from her sister despite clearly hating it). It is also, to be blunt, mind-boggling that you (correctly) argue that trauma responses are not inherently Si but then refer to obsessive-compulsive behaviors as Si when that’s also a medical disorder completely divorced from the MBTI framework. Finally, her continuing to follow an order from her parents after they die is first, quite literally the definition of self-discipline (she’s the queen; no one else is going to discipline her for it, after all) and second, entirely in line with Si (this is what she has always done and it’s not great but it works) and is, arguably, if not medically obsessive-compulsive, an obsessive need to follow a compulsion. To be clear: this isn’t healthy ISTJ behavior, but since you’ve acknowledged grips and loops here I think an unhealthy interpretation of the type is very much on the table. You say her behavior is more in line with F types; it’s not and you don’t explain why.

If I may it seems as though, much in line with the argument here being against other arguments but ultimately not debunking the typing, your arguments against MBTI stereotypes focus on what’s incorrect but they tend to merely swing the pendulum to the opposite side (eg, that ISTJs are likely to rebel, in opposition to the stereotype that they’d mindlessly follow orders) rather than find the more nuanced middle ground of how people of a type or with a certain function behave.

Issues with the INFJ and INFP sections:

Ne users can and frequently do go out into the world; simply because Ne can be engaged without external physical stimulation doesn’t mean it never is. I’m also not really a fan of reading being classified as a strictly introverted pursuit; that’s falling into a pretty significant stereotype trap. Going out and exploring is a thing anyone can do but if anything I’d either associate that more strongly with high sensing (either Si or Se) or with extroversion. 

My biggest issue here is the implication that searching for a meaning for existence or a purpose is in itself an indicator of Ni. This is just the human condition. If you’re going to argue that Si users are driven to rebel against injustice I don’t see how you can miss that that might in turn be driven by a belief that this is their purpose. Perhaps Si-Ne users aren’t as invested in having a single purpose, but wondering why you are on this earth and what it is you are here to do is just being a person, and to be blunter than I have been, I am struggling to understand how there has been so much effort made earlier to push away from stereotypes to the point of overcompensation in the opposite direction and then when it comes to the idea that only Ni users have a desire for meaning in life you just accept it without question.

Issues with the ISFP section:

At this point I’ve probably covered most of them though I’d like to point out that I don’t think there was an argument ever made explicitly for introversion; while the structure of the earlier arguments and focus on debunking was, as stated, flawed, I would at least round it out by eliminating ESFP as an option.

The argument here rests heavily on Let it Go, which is interesting because most of the terrible arguments for Elsa being an intuitive also rested squarely on that same brief if admittedly pivotal section of a full movie; in attempting to differentiate itself from those arguments it has in fact replicated the most significant flaws. Anyway, I’ve addressed that I don’t personally think Let it Go being indicative of a grip is how I’d argue for ISTJ, so that becomes invalid; I’ve tried to focus more on issues with logic MBTI than the contents of the movie but I’d add that “she was happy” is open to interpretation and her emotional state was probably fairly complicated. Relieved, sure, but she’s still ultimately isolated. (Also while mentally singing Let it Go, I realized that here’s that rebellion you were asking for in the ISTJ section).

You also outright say that when Elsa tries to reassert control it’s through Te. Yeah. That’s what a high Te user does. An ISTJ in a grip would indeed use Ne, but in quite literally any other circumstance (looping or just existing as an ISTJ not in a grip or loop) would reassert control via Te, so again, your argument does not sufficiently eliminate that Elsa is an ISTJ, just that she’s not a gripping ISTJ, which I’d agree with. 

“She acts out when she is stressed and makes bad decisions” is also the human condition (and why I’ve frequently on my blog argued very strongly against typing via stress behaviors, because in the end most people...act out and make bad decisions when stressed), so this isn’t useful as an argument for anything.

In conclusion: multiple misconceptions about Ni and Si; no argument that I could find presented for high Fi, just Fi in general; inconsistency regarding whether or not Elsa rebels, and an overall reliance not on making a new argument but on arguing why other arguments were wrong. Given the title of the post you asked me to analyze I have to (admittedly this is extremely cynical of me) wonder if there was an underlying goal to come up with a typing that was different from commonly accepted arguments, rather than to simply type for its own sake. 

[theravencawsatmidnight]

Them Video Games pt2

A very special Non Fandom fic that i care deeply about. I wrote this a few years ago around E3 Time and ive since rewrote it and turned it into a fic with Suna. But this is the rewrite and the one i adore. Part 2 because its still too long . (Its 11k words) so maybe one more part? This part ends on a cliffanger oops

@squeaky-ducky @galagcica

W! Nsfw. Incest slightly. Body image issues.One slur

Kiki was dressed in her Converse and blue thigh highs, her skirt was blue and she had on a ps4 shirt. She also had a little pink messenger bag with controller buttons all over it . Toshi did not live to far surprisingly. They actually have to pass his house to get to school. She also brought some money with her to pay for the controller. It was not much but.. it was a start to buying a new one. Was he really upset? He seemed it.. maybe she could show him the strategy videos she liked.

The house was coming into view and also the black Mazda. Kiki pulled her bag close going up to the door knocking lightly. She looked around while she waited. It was a small house nothing to fancy. She jumped when the door opened.

Toshi smiled leaning on the door looking down at her. Cute. Super cute.

He was wearing blue pj bottoms and a black tank top, his arm was bandaged along with his shoulder and chest.

“Ohayo” he said.

“Uh!!! Ko..ni..no wait that's afternoon ..” she rubbed her face and Toshi laughed pulling her in and closing the door.

“Adorable. Well cmon” he walked down the hall and Kiki hurried after him. “ uh .. Toshi!” She said.

He looked back and opened his door going in, Kiki followed opening her bag getting the money , she held her hand out to give him the money but she froze when she saw his room. Amazing.. was an understatement.

He had shelves on his walls. One was full of figures , another had certain video games in special protective cases and the last case had trophies on it. All gold trophies it looked like. Some said ‘Champion’ and some said ‘E3 finalist Winner’ , one said ’Nintendo E3 Winner’. His tv was huge.. it sat on a corner desk that fit right into the corner , it had a shiny Ps4 system tucked into it nicely and a pink Switch next to it. There was also some gaming posters scattered around the room. His bed was very big and mostly black with what looked like japanese symbols on it. He had multiple controllers docked , all different colors sitting on his desk. On the desk was also the controller in half ..a special edition blue one.

Toshi smirked when he saw her looking all around his room with the money in her hand. He tapped her head and she jumped looking at him. “Here! It's not enough to cover it but i can get the rest if i do chores soo..”

Toshi took the money and put it back in her bag startling her. “I don't need it, i'm not replacing it.”

“Wah? Why not ? It's the special edition?!?”

“Well i wanna have a reminder of when i got my ass handed to me in Overwatch” he chuckled ruffling her hair and grabbing a controller. “Show me these strategy videos Mishiko” he sat down on the floor , his back to his bed.

Kiki sat down next to him putting her bag next to her. The Ps4 turned on and Kiki’s heart jumped.

“You have the same theme as me!!!!” She pointed at the NieR theme, the music sending chills up her back. He smirked rubbing his bandages. “Well how about that.” He handed her the controller after opening YouTube. The videos that showed up were… mostly video game walkthroughs or Top 10 mixed in with music playlists. Kiki typed the video in and put the controller down after hitting play. She didn't skip the ad though.

“ you dont skip ads?” He leaned forward to skip it and Kiki jumped up grabbing his arm to stop him.

“No no! I dont skip if i like the guy!” She whined sitting on her knees holding. Toshi felt a smile come across his face when she grabbed onto him. He pulled her between his legs holding her in place. Kiki struggled whining and Toshi let go , the video started and she looked back , her cheeks flushed .

“Sorry Mishiko .” He held his arms up. She wiggled around, she could hear the video too. “Is it okay .. if I sit here? I dont know if you have a girlfriend i …”

He pulled her back wrapping his arms around her again. “Nope, so what do you like about this guy?” He gestured to the tv.

“Well uh.. hes funny. Most strategy videos is just long lectures and he makes it fun” her eyes wandered to his bandaged arm . She saw something black it looked like under them. Could he feel her heartbeat? She was so surprised by him grabbing her like this. He smelled nice too.. a nice leather scent lingered around his neck , it was a mix of cherries to.. must be his shampoo.

Toshi could see she was nervous in his arms, she seemed a little shaky and her knees were up. He laid his chin on her shoulder watching the video and he felt her pulse pick up.

“Uh.. Toshi?”

“Hm?” He was watching the video.

“Are you angry about the controller . I feel really bad.”

“Nope. I already told you Mishiko, don't worry about it”

“Okay.. those trophies ? You've been to E3?”

“I go every year. Free ride”

“Really?!?” She peeled his arms off her turning around to look at him and Toshi sat up straight laying his arms on his knees. “Indeed. Little neko” he smiled.

Kiki felt her cheeks flush red. Neko?. She looked all around trying to hide her embarrassment and Toshi dipped his head chuckling at her.

“Wanna go with me this year?” He teased.

“Uh YES! But .. I don't know if Max would let me.. and you probably have someone else you wanna take “

“ i dont see anyone else here with me” he said rubbing his bandages growing irritated. Toshi pulled his shirt off getting up grab a container off his dresser and sitting back down. Kiki sat criss cross trying not to look..

he pulled his bandages off revealing a black japanese tribal tattoo. “Wanna help me put this on my ink? It itches.”

Kiki held her hands out without realizing it , the container dropped in her hands and Toshi dipped two fingers in and applied it to his arm. Kiki scooted a little closer watching him. He looked a little relieved when he applied the medicine. Slowly Kiki dipped her fingers in to the cold liquid and rubbed it on his upper chest. Toshi smiled at her applying more to his arm , he watched her shaking hand travel all around his chest all over his tattoo. She was tiny to him , never really saw her around school either.

“Hey” he said.

Kiki finished with the medicine looking up.

“Yeah?”

“ I never saw you around school , where do you hang out ? “

“Oh.. “ she pulled her bag close hugging it “nowhere.. I just rush to the next class.. I dont . .. besides Max and Adam i have no friends. Everyone in my class calls me a hermit”

Toshi furrowed his brow listening to her . What the fuck. “Well thats a fucking awful thing to say to someone.” He petted her head .

“I just want one friend heh.. I guess maybe next year.”

Toshi pulled her to him squeezing her for a long while. Kiki whined struggling in his grip , eventually she gave in and hugged him back.

“Your pretty cool, here, show me what you can do” he grabbed his controller giving her it. She did not take it, instead she just looked down at his chest. Toshi rubbed her back. “Oh cmon, yosh yosh..” he rubbed more and tipped her chin up. “ little neko.” He kissed her forehead making Kiki get very red in the face.

“Uh!!” She panicked pushing back and he let go of her.

“Mishiko you are awesome. Your into cool things. Don't let those losers get to you. I dont” he switched to a game looking at the tv. “You know how many people still call me a Jap?”

“No..” she sat down between his legs picking up another controller turning it on joining his game.

“Sucks, but who cares.” He laid his chin on her shoulder.

“Do you.. wanna make bets?” She asked playing.

“Ouuu yosh.”

They laughed . “ if i win i get to keep your thigh highs”. He said . Kiki looked back at him for a second then back at the tv.

“Okayy..” she giggled . “If i win .. I want another kiss.. please.”

He nuzzled into her neck smiling.

“Deal”

The gaming got very heated between the two. Kiki got out from Toshi’s grip standing up on her knees to play and Toshi stood up to sit on his bed leaning forward. They yelled at each other and the screen, it was Street Fighter. They both had one loss and this match would decide who won.

“COME ON!!!�� She yelled button mashing.

“GIVE UP KIKI” he grinned watching his special bar inch closer till it shined . He grinned activating it and it was all over in a matter of seconds. Toshi won and Kiki gently placed the controller down watching the screen. Her character was on the ground , she lost.

She looked back to see Toshi putting his controller down and leaning back on his arms smirking. He saw her sad face and gestured his fingers for her to come over. “ awwww c'mon , now i feel bad. C'mere little neko”

Kiki got up coming over looking all around, she held her shirt once she got between his legs. Tohi was a tall boy , maybe an even 6’ . His hair was black and long , hanging just above his eyes. “How.. uh. Should i just take em off?” She asked a little lost.

“Mm nope. Can i take them off you?” He asked leaning forward looking up at her smiling.

“I .. I guess so . Why do you want them though?” She asked curious.

Toshi smiled extending his hand to her left thigh, gently he wrapped his hand around the back of it squeezing gently. Kiki shuffled her knees around and covered her face. She was all tingly between her thighs and her heart fluttered around.

“Well i'm into it. What are you into hmm?” He asked gently moving his hand down her thigh to her leg. Taking her thigh high with him.

She thought it over for a minute. What was she into? She never really thought about it too much. She lifted her foot and Toshi slid her thigh high off, he squeezed it and then gripped her other thigh repeating the process.

“I never.. really thought about it i guess. “ she finally answered. Toshi frowned as he slid her thigh high down. She stepped out of it and he placed it with the other.

“Never had a boyfriend to figure it out with?” He asked poking her stomach. Kiki wiggled feeling a little embarrassed.

I guess this is a little too much for her, he thought.

“Mishiko you want that kiss?”

“But i didn't win?”

“ ah well.. I want to kiss as well, so ill let it slide, after that we can do whatever you want. “

“You do? Why?”

“Well you were yelling at me during Street Fighter. You should see these guys i beat at tourneys. They get so angry but just walk away. Maybe it's a turn on for me. Maybe i wanna be your first kiss. Maybe i think your cute and i like you. One things for sure though Mishiko, you're the coolest gamer girl i've ever met”

Kiki hid behind her hands whining loud.

“stoppp .. it's embarrassing. Im sure theres lots of hot juniors at school”

Toshi reached up moving her hands from her face and grabbed her hips pulling her close to him and sat her down on his right thigh.

“Trust me. There's not.” He kissed her gently and lovingly. Kiki jumped stumbling and Toshi held her hips firmly . Her heart jumped when his lips touched her, she had no idea what to do with her hands so she just held his face trying her best to kiss him back.

Toshi broke away after a minute while squeezing her hips smiling at her red face. Kiki’s hands slowly fell from his face to her chest holding it. “Uhm.. it was nice.. “ she spoke softly.

“Yes it was, what would you like to do now? My plan was to keep you till Max started blowing up my phone.”

Kiki wiggled and leaned on Toshi closing her eyes and Toshi smirked wrapping an arm around her laying back, his other hand behind his head .

“..Toshi?”

“Hm?”

“Ill convince Max to let me go with you.”

He pet her head . “Sounds good little neko”

The two were still laying in bed , Kiki was on top of Toshi , she was pretty sure he could hear her heartbeat. This was all new to her. .. it all happened so fast too. There's no way Max would approve of any of this though. Its crazy how.. she never noticed him at school before, to busy keeping her head down avoiding everything. Toshi had asked her what she was into to. What did he mean though?

She peaked up to see Toshi holding his phone up above his face browsing. He looked down smiling at her.

“Yes ?”

“ what did you mean.. when you asked what im into? Do you have an example?”

Toshi smirked turning his phone to her and Kiki shyly sat up on Toshi’s lap . She rubbed her eye with one hand and took the phone with the other looking at the screen. She jumped and Toshi enjoyed the little hump she did on him.

.”its a .. very lewd catgirl” she said, her face red.

“Yep” smirked the happy man. “What's she got on?”

“Uhm.. fake paws.. ears..tail.. thigh highs and a t shirt” she looked over at her thigh highs that were laying on the bed then at Toshi.

“So it like.. makes you happy?”

“More ways then one. Swipe left”

Kiki swiped and saw a drawing of the same cat girl but she did not have the shirt on, instead she had a collar attached to a leash, she was sitting next to a man but she was on the floor.

“So.. the Master stuff?” She asked looking closer and Toshi shot up wrapping his arms around her back laughing, he took his phone back swiping a few times and showing her a photo of the last picture but it was a cosplay.

“Little neko how do you know what a Master is hm?” He teased her. Kiki wiggled around trying to hide her blushing face in her hands. “Ii.. if im really bored i look up fan fics of game characters and i came across Master stuff…”

“Oh yeah? Did you read it?” He asked rubbing her thigh. Kiki nodded once hiding behind her hands.

“Adorable, look at you.” He teased moving her hands, she was very red and her lip was pouty. Kiki whined looking around fast.

“Can i read it too?” He asked smirking.

“I.. i guess yeah…my phone is in my bag ..”

Toshi leaned down grabbing the bag and Kiki fished out her phone and opened up Safari, she typed and handed Toshi the phone.

While he was reading his phone went off and Toshi glanced over to see the screen. “Max is calling why dont you take it , ill be here”

Kiki agreed taking the phone and quickly getting off of the mans lap going to the hallway. Toshi laid his head back on his pillow reading the fan fic, so shes into the same things as him… interesting.

Kiki was on the phone with her brother.

“Max?”

“Kiki are you ok?”

“Yes why? I.. “

“How long do you plan on staying?”

“I..i dont know. “

“Just make sure its before dinner ok?”

“Okay Max..”

She hung up looking at the phone screen, he had Akali as his background. He also had a ton of text message notifications. Kiki hurried back holding the phone out.

“ hey you've got some texts. And I can only stay for another half hour..”

“Little..neko. Come here” he sounded different to her, more serious ..

Kiki flinched going over and setting the phone on the dresser. Toshi placed her phone next to it and pointed to the floor. “Sit” he ordered.

Kiki immediately felt her cheeks flush red once she heard his words.. it sent tingles all the way to her thighs . Carefully Kiki sat down on her knees by the bed trying to figure out which one she actually let him read. She heard the bed shift behind her , Toshi’s legs were on both sides of her. He gently lowered his left hand to cup her cheek.

Which was it,!! Which one?!? They were all kind of the same but.. they all had this one unique tag. It couldn't have been… the most erotic one was it?!

“This fanfic is quite dirty for such a little neko like you ” He spoke slowly, rubbing his thumb on her cheek. “As a Master im not sure how I should react to it” he gently tipped her chin up so she could see him looking down at her.

“What do you think?” He asked smirking.

Kiki was wet, so very wet. Her thighs were starting to ache and she got slightly dizzy listening to Toshi.

“.. i cant.. be you're Neko without a.. collar”

She knew which one it was now… Toshi had the same attitude as the character in the fanfic. Her favorite one.

“Ill have to get one for my little neko then” he tapped her forehead and stretched groaning.

“Ahh.. been way too long since I last did that.” He teased.

Kiki shot up grabbing her bag and Toshi grabbed her hand. “Woah wheres the fire?” He asked.

“Just hurry up and make fun of me so i can leave..”

She was shaking, she was embarrassed and hot all over. Toshi pulled her over and sat her on his thigh again, he instantly felt her wetness on him. He ignored it for now and hugged her.

“I'm not making fun of you Mishiko, i showed you what i like didnt i? We like the same things.”

“Please.. dont tell Max.” She looked up at him peaking through her hands.

“I won't cutie. But if you're serious about the collar, we can work towards that, id be on board for that”

Kiki shifted around thinking it over, she tried not to look at Toshi since she was embarrassed. Would Max be okay with her dating his friend-wait. He just said the collar stuff.. not that he wanted to date.. he wouldn't want to date her anyway. I mean who would..

Toshi tapped her forehead making her look at his smiling face. She nodded in agreement and Toshi rubbed her thigh. “Well yosh. So you are okay with it then? “

“Yes i am “

He smirked nuzzling his cheek into her neck hugging her tightly. Kiki squeezed him tightly trying to push her feelings aside. This is enough.. it's basically the same thing. She leaned on him just enjoying his embrace, his clean scent, his arms around her. Until her phone buzzed making her groan. Toshi chuckled grabbing it and handing her it. “Boyfriend?” He teased.

She didn't even look at him when she answered him.

“Its Max, my only contacts are Max and Adam so.. no.. hello?” She answered her phone.

Toshi watched her while she talked , oh shit .. so she really is just all alone. Does Max not try to get her to socialize? A sophomore with no friends? Not one goddamn friend?

He pulled her hips closer to him and Kiki almost fumbled her words . She mouthed “what are you doing?!?” To him and he just winked at her.

Kiki blushed a bright red as she talked.

“Okay.. okay.. yes Max.. ok im on my wa-“

He lifted her up and sat her down again with both legs on the side of him , Kiki put her free hand between her thighs holding her skirt down and Toshi nuzzled her cheek chuckling ,he rubbed her thighs while he listened to the conversation.

“Im on my way home..”

Toshi spread his legs a bit and Kiki was losing balance, she couldn't hold onto her skirt and Toshi with one hand…

“Okay well if you don't hurry ill hide all the HDMI cords Kiki” Max said.

“WHAT NO. MAX!” She was falling , Kiki whined grabbing onto Toshi digging her nails into his shirt. Toshi looked down to see her skirt bunched up over her thighs and her panties nearly visible.

“MAX PLEASE DON'T I NEED -“ she felt rubbing on her inner thigh. Kiki’s head shot down to look to see Toshi’s bony hand slipping under her skirt, the sensation she was feeling was unlike any other. She felt her head get foggy and her midsection ached, if she stretched it would have felt euphoric .

“Well then hurry up.” Max said hanging up, Kiki dropped her phone on the bed and Toshi laid back moving her forward to his chest.

“Can you spare five minutes little neko?”

“ just WHAT did you think you were doing?!? What if he caught on? If he heard you?!? He would have killed me! Toshi are you listening?”

Toshi lifted Kiki up with ease bringing her closer to his face, he clicked his teeth when he remembered she still had her panties on, oh well.

“I'm listening Mishiko i promise. but its fun to be a little dangerous. “ his thumbs grabbed her skirt till he had a good grip and carefully he yanked the skirt up revealing her panties , doing his best not to drop her in the process.

Her panties were … D.VA panties. He looked up at her and Kiki had her hands covering her face.

“Dont laugh!!!!” She whined .

“Why would i laugh? I've got Junkrat boxers on”

He rubbed the little wet spot on her panties with his thumb, Toshi watched her wiggle from it and dug his thumb into the side of her panties moving them to the side. Kiki felt a slight chill , she moved her hands away to see Toshi lowering her down.

“Wait Toshi!!!”

“Itedakimas!” He sat her on his face and started licking at her folds . Kiki could not hold in her laugh , she leaned on the wall laughing , she held his head with one hand, her other on the wall. Toshi was laughing aswell , trying his best to lick in a steady pace.

“You… i cant.. belieeeve…” she moaned with each lick. She felt his other hand part her folds so he could dig his tongue in deeper , Kiki was panting into the wall feeling very flustered and hot. Her whole body was crying for more, her thighs were shaking and her juices were dripping down them.

Toshi felt her clench around his tongue and pulled away to lick at her clit sending Kiki over the edge, she let out a loud moan and Toshi smiled gently nipping her thigh. “Cum for me little neko” he whispered.

Kiki came hard falling forward twitching. Toshi licked her clean and pulled her skirt back down sitting her next to him. Kiki laid there coming down from her high, Toshi snuggled her close petting her head.

“You .. really said..”

“I did”

“ it was hilarious.” She managed a weak laugh. Toshi laughed and the two cuddled, ignoring her buzzing phone.

The two were in Toshi’s car sitting outside Kiki’s home, Max was leaning on the door looking .. angry was not the right word. Kiki figured her playstation was unplugged and locked up somewhere . She undid her seatbelt and Toshi grabbed her phone putting his number in it . “There, you can text me whenever Mishiko, don't matter what time it is.” He plopped her phone on her lap.

Kiki put the phone in her bag then looked at Toshi.

“ but you had a lot of messages on your phone..”

“Yeah its just Gina and Kera , no one important. But , Mishiko?”

“Huh? Yes?”

“Have i done anything today that bothered you? I want to make sure you consent to everything. Im probably going to ask you about the collar stuff again too”

She gripped her skirt thinking it over, her knees rubbing together. Her body felt tired from the orgasm , like she was really heavy and shaky.

“Everything was nice Toshi. I'm just sorry im so .. inexperienced..”

“Nani? Oh Mishiko. That's okay , i like to teach. “

“I.. I wanna hang out again. But Max looks like hes putting me under house arrest.”

Toshi looked out his window to see Max still leaning on the door. He looked back at the girl.

“Ill convince him Mishiko. Bring your favorite movie and snacks okay? We can have a nice soft night.”

She blushed nodding and getting out.

She wanted to ask something but…

Gently she closed the door and waved once she got to Max. Toshi waved driving away and Max stared down at her.

Kiki put her bag on the couch turning to Max, he sighed hugging her tightly. Ah.. so he was not mad. Just worried.. Kiki whined when he hugged her to tight.

“You're okay?” He leaned down cupping her face.

“Yes Max” she wiggled around

“Why didn't you answer?”

“I was in the bathroom.. and Toshi was playing Tomb Raider..”

He squeezed her for a long time .

”uhm.. im hungry Max”

He let go and the two went to go eat dinner.

Toshi was home lying on his bed with one hand in his sweatpants and the other holding the thigh highs.

Max had not unplugged anything thankfully… everything was where it should be . Kiki sat down on her bed turning on her Ps4 and saw a friend request from Toshi. She accepted and looked through all his trophies, pretty much the same as hers .. maybe a few more than her. Lots of different games, he also had a lot of followers.

She laid down opening Youtube putting on her playlist, she rolled to her stomach just listening.

“Uhhn.. hes so popular it seems like.” Kiki rolled to her side looking at her wall. “Today was… i dont even know”

Kiki woke up the next day around 9 am . She whined feeling her phone buzz next to her , pulling her phone over, flipping it over to see a picture of Catwoman and a text from Toshi.

‘Morning Little Neko. Leave Max to me. And I'll pick you up around 3 okay?”

Kiki rubbed her eyes before replying. “Why do i feel so.. upset..”. She sat up looking at the message . “I want to be .. his girlfriend..” she got off her bed dragging herself to her mirror looking at herself. Kiki was 5’2, c cups, a tiny chub stomach and plump thighs. Her hair was long and brown, down to the middle of her back . She lifted her shirt to look at her stomach and turned to the side to see her back . “He would have said he wanted to be my boyfriend right? “ her shirt fell from her hands. “The.. Master stuff does not mean that ..” she went back to her bed rubbing her eye , grabbing her phone .

‘I don't feel good , can we reschedule?”

Toshi tapped his screen pausing the video he was watching to open Kikis message, he blinked , furrowing his brows and sitting up in bed.

“Mishiko? Are you alright?”

“Have i done something? Did I make you uncomfortable?”

“Dammit what's wrong ..”he asked himself, running his hand through his hair.

“Im fine , I think i need a day to myself. I'll see you monday.”

“Mishiko….” Toshi put his phone down looking at the soft blanket he dug out of his closet , it had D.VA on it .

••

Kiki only really left her room to eat a single piece of toast and to shower. She said good morning to Max too. “Hey kiki, doing anything today?” He asked, reaching over her to get the cereal.

“No, I'm kinda tired. “

Oh no. He looked down at his sister . “Oh yeah? Late night gaming?”

“No, just tired.” She took her toast up to her room , Max heard the door close and he ripped his phone out dialing Toshi.

“ oha-“

“What the fuck did you do.”

“...? Excuse me?”

“Mishiko is being quiet , she's letting me tease her and she's not gushing about games.”

Toshi’s heart was racing. Oh fuck. Fuck. He went too far. God dammit…. fuck….. “i didn't do anything. Max, I never did anything to your sister. “

“You fucking swear Toshi”

“Yes, Max. Fucking hell.”

Max leaned on the counter groaning, pinching the space between his eyes. “Alright.”

The relief Toshi felt was like a weight off his damn shoulders. “Is that all she said.”

“Yes, then went back up to her room.”

Toshi grabbed his controller, turning his PS 4 on and checking his friends. She wasn't on.

“Max i, -“

“Ill let you know if she leaves her room.”

“Okay…”

Max hung up and Toshi squeezed his controller, he grabbed the thigh highs that were still on his bed staring at them. “How could you let this happen. The one nice girl you meet and you take it too far.” He dropped everything on the floor running his hands through his hair. Meanwhile, kiki was curled up in her bed, sniffling.

[happymetalgirl]

Bring Me the Horizon - amo

For better and for worse, this one has been a long time coming. If Sempiternal was the irritated throat fans brushed off as nothing, then That's the Spirit was their first terrifying handful of blood coughed up after ignoring diagnostics, and amo is the progression of the untreated pop infection in Bring Me the Horizon's lungs that has progressed beyond treatment. For fans uneasy about the band's trajectory in 2015, this album is no easy pill to swallow.

I've been rather critical of a lot of bands aping Bring Me the Horizon's more try-hard anthemic metalcore style since the success of 2013's Sempiternal, but for Bring Me the Horizon themselves, I've actually had at least a little bit of appreciation for the boldness and ambition with which they have seemed to try to push their brand of metalcore since their 2010 album There Is a Hell, Believe Me I've Seen It. There Is a Heaven, Let's Keep It a Secret. But with that appreciation of what they are trying to do to bolster their sound has also come with a lot of frustration when it comes to the execution, whether it be the repetitive formula on Sempiternal yielding some seriously irritating tunes whose energy only magnified their obnoxiousness, or the horrendous watering down that neutered any idea of ambition on That's the Spirit.

It has been about four years since the band's aggravating previous album, and for myself, the metal community outside the band's fanbase, and even within, those four years have been spent nervously gritting teeth in anticipation of what the band would progress toward next. And now it's here. Given the sour turn the band took with That's the Spirit, my hopes for amo were not high at all. In fact after a series of lackluster maimstream-ish releases so far this year, I was ready for the cherry to top the shit sundae with this album. That being said, amo is definitely bolder and a much more thoughtful continuation of Bring Me the Horizon's quest for pop glory, and one that is at least more determined and more comprehensive than That's the Spirit. The band finally commit to the sound they clearly wanted to make their way to, and in some ways it's good that they're not trying to cover their bases as thinly as possible like they were with their previous album. Indeed, there are a few tracks on here I enjoy quite a lot.

The band fully commit to the sounds and writing styles of Top 40 pop these days, and this album would definitely blend right in with the likes of Ed Sheeran and Shawn Mendes. I feel like I have to address my distaste for Top 40 music in general and clarify that it's not based in a simplistic, tribalistic feud I see lots of metalheads take part in, where it's the principle of pop vs. rock or mainstream music vs. outsider music that's being fought over. No, I definitely enjoy me some thoughtfully done pop music and even some indulgently tasty pop as well. What I don't like is the sterility of the music from the likes of Halsey, Macklemore, Camila Cabello, or whoever made that shit song "The Middle" selected to be the goal for pop artists to strive for to reach radio/playlist success. And then there's the despised Imagine Dragons, the only pop rock band in existence apparently, based on how much time they suck up on the radio. I know this is a sidetrack and I know that radio is not the prime outlet it used to be, but it still represents a lot of what pop trends towards these days, and it continues to set a precedent for vapid, lazy songwriting, and corporately calculated pandering. That being said, there's the occasional song I'm surprised, not so much by my enjoyment of, but of the presence of something enjoyable coming from a mainstream pop outlet, and that's what amo seems to be going for.

I gave this album quite a few listens, both to really get to know it as per usual, and because this kind of pop isn't my usual forte, and it was interesting to see how the album transformed in my eyes with each successive listen. My first time hearing it, I knew I was going into a straight-up pop album, and with the ilk of Top 40 stations as my barometer, I was actually pretty relieved and pleasantly surprised to not be slamming my head against the nearest wall for the 51 minutes it lasts. But then I remembered, "wait a minute, this is a pop album, it loves to ride a good first impression, see how it is after 4, 5, 6 listens." And sure enough, it waned on me the more I listened.

The parts that I really enjoy did rise to the top as the rest sank, but with a better understanding of this album's content and what it's trying to achieve, I end up with a lot of the same frustrations I had with the band on Sempiternal and its predecessor, just in a less heavy format/context this time. Like the band's first metalcore-departing albums, amo has some good stylistic ideas and it works well with them, but the band's inconsistent results with the repetitive formulas they emply continues to be the limiting factor for them. On the vocal front, Oli Sykes clearly channels Minutes to Midnight-era Chester Bennington all over the project, from the raspy borderline shouted melodies and overwhelmingly polished cleans, while also making a very pop-influenced use of his falsettos as well, and as much as it often teems over with blatant imitation, at least I can't complain about his execution; he's on point pretty much the entire time, which could be thanks to some production crutches, but Sykes' performances sound watertight nonetheless. The rest of the band are much more present than I thought they would be, not as drowned out in gaudy pop production (which does still become a bit too much at some points, but for the most part it's pretty tasteful and balanced throughout the album).

Songs like "nihilist blues" do well to set futuristically melancholic moods through modern electro pop instrumentals, while on songs like "MANTRA" and "sugar honey ice & tea" (a cheesy roundabout way to title the song "shit"), the band try to keep the guitar-driven energy high while blending more pop-oriented elements and performance/production techniques, and the blend is at least a refreshingly alive spin on the egg-shell-treading stlyes of this era of pop music. But the band still don't really manage to make what sounds good on paper actually sound as good as it should through speakers, churning out some annoying melodies through the overly repetitive structures that take bad pop songs from displeasing to disgusting. And these songs have some potential and some parts of them that I wish weren't wrecked by overproduction or cheesy choruses, "sugar honey ice & tea" especially has some invigorating building rock instrumentation in its verses, but the band don't really follow through on the hollow, high-pitched electro vocal-laden chorus. But then there are the songs that (I think) don't really have any redeeming qualities.

The songs where Bring Me the Horizon really just lean all the way into this new role as a prospective pop act are the ones where they of course fall into the styles' predictable pitfalls. Straightforward pop numbers like "mother tongue" and "medicine" channel kiddish lyrics about love and embodying vindictiveness respectively through bland, unimaginative instrumentation. Another track, "in the dark", runs in kind of the same vein of unadultered pop with Oli Sykes doing his best Shawn Mendes impersonation, but is at least a little bit more soulful and less robotic.

Back in the gray area is the song "heavy metal", which takes aim at the attitudes of discontented fans being mad at the band for continuing to shift styles. I understand that there are definitely a lot of stubborn people willing to let that be sufficient justification for their reasons for lampooning the band's change in style, but there are plenty of reasons to be apprehensive about this new direction that lots of other people are articulating that the band could have addressed instead of minimizing the criticism surrounding them to the reductive basement-dweller strawman. Instrumentally though, it is one of the heavier songs on the album, ending with the album's only screamed breakdown, as short as it is.

As far as highlights go, the song "why you gotta kick me when i'm down?" is a convincing electronic banger that finds low-register synths mimicking the crunch of the guitar the band usually uses, and doing so well. Lyrically it oozes of the same kind of inability to accept criticism as "heavy metal", but at least this song's fierce potency makes a good case for the band's being above the type of simplistic criticism they lament. The song "wonderful life" is by far the best song on the album with its gritty electro-nu metal guitar groove and its anthemic vocal melody in the chorus raising a defeatist toast to growing old and burning out. The pop influences are still easily palpable, but taking a support role rather than the lead, with the band driving the song with the down-tuned metal riffage they do well that made Suicide Season and the best parts of Sempiternal.

For what could have been the definitive nail in the coffin for a lot of people like me who hated That's the Spirit, amo is definitely a mixed bag in classic Bring Me the Horizon fashion, but that sure is a lot better than the torturous train wreck I was expecting (especially after hearing "mother tongue" and "medicine" as preliminary singles), and it at least shows that this band does indeed have the potential to do well in this metal-flavored pop niche they're trying to carve out, and by all means I would love for them to do well with it. I think it is important for metal to continue to make good entry-level material for the new generations, and entry-level material that immersed fans can bond with new fans over as well and for younger generations to be able to look back at fondly after diving deep into the wonderful world of metal music. I definitely don't think amo is quite that album, but it is a gateway, and it does suggest that somewhere in Bring Me the Horizon's collective creative potential exists that album, which only tenacity and further perfection of this style they've arrived at can uncover.

better than Halsey/10

[survivorreelsmagicwithin]

Episode 2 - “Y'all. Vote me out fr cause I'm inactive as fronk” - Joshua (through Autumn)

I hate flag-making challenges. I will not be helpful at all, and I hope that someone else can take the reigns and lead us to victory. I honestly feel safe going into a tribal council, but I do not want to test that theory.

Next morning

With Chips and Jules working on the crest designs, I feel confident that we will do well in the challenge. Maybe not the best, but definitely not the worst. I still have the same anxious feeling that my tribe is not active enough for my taste, but I will just have to live with it for now. Besides, at least this is not immunity because that we increase my anxiety by so much. But, I keep forgetting to search the idol hunt which is my bad, but it is just so hard and long that I do not really feel like searching all the time lol

ART CHALLENGE <333 i love these challenges. Jess made my picture 110% better and its super cute. The note that she wrote with it is also hella cute and I love the whole HP aesthetics bc i never got to go to real hogwarts ;-; but i'm sure most of yall can related. The boys weren't too helpful but nick was better than jacob who is sick. Nick was way more active aka jacob said 3 sentences the entire challenge sooooo…. if we lose idk I might just save jacob anyways bc pregame relations.

Won reward, but now we have to win immunity again. I really hope that this reward helps us continue to survive. I don't want to have to vote anyone out. We've been getting first, but I really just want to survive this challenge, its known to be hard.

I think I have been stuck with the second most challenge inept tribe in the history of my ORG career. I literally said so many answers in my version of the story and Jules just fucked it up. And then they got the girl's name wrong. And then they started mixing up characters. I know I did well, but fuck these people. God. Now we need a tribe to get 0 which is very unlikely. I will just resign myself to tribal. I hope and pray that these people have some common sense and do not want to vote me out

Listen. Listen. Listen. I dang knew this story was going to be Harry Potter based. I knew in my brain and in my heart that I shouldn’t have been the one to start that thing. What do I do? Start the dang thing. Oh well. We did alright. I would be shocked if we won tho but if we don’t I’ll be relieved. I def don’t feel confident enough but I really had a lot of fun with my tribe. I really miss this and really hope that my time isn’t cut short! I feel really good about my tribe mates sincerely. And that’s kind of scary! I would hate to see any of us to go and how it’s going to affect the bond we have if we vote someone out. In this moment with Max sitting out, it may be him who goes if we go to tribal. I hope that isn’t the case. I’ve got my fingers crossed for us. Huff Puff strong!

Honestly Jules dropped the ball sis!! But it’s okay, I love her. She’s really nice and I know she tried her best. Plus she’s in an alliance with me and Owen, so we should have the numbers against Joanna or Miguel if we go to tribal. Personally, I’d prefer Joanna to go. She’s kinda domineering, but she’s also an asset in challenges thus far. She is organized and direct. I’ve also talked to her a bit more than Miguel, so I guess I don’t really care who goes.

I’m happy I didn’t fuck up the reward comp and the shit that I drew got us a win!

I really hope I don't bomb that challenge, I answered everything that Kevin talked to me about.... I think!  The rest of them tried very hard but I am SOOO glad that I asked to do my part at the end because my memory of repeating things is horrendous but I'm usually pretty good at bullshitting test answers... too bad I got some of the multiple choice stuff wrong.

I think that if we do lose I am still in a good spot on this tribe and hopefully I won't be in danger.  I feel like I'm on everyone's good side and Max kind of just disappeared so maybe we could just vote him out this round? Idk.

Hopefully we don't have to worry about it.  I smell a swap coming up pretty soon and I just hope I'm either with Owen or with some of the people from my tribe.  I have no idea if they know anyone or are close with anyone in the other houses.

I'm still feeling the closest to Lily and Kevin but I have been talking to Landen a good bit too these days so hopefully we'll be safe or we can all just agree on Max.

16 minutes later

OOOOOH IS LANDEN PAVING THE WAY FOR A MOVE TO SEND MAX PACKING???

He just told me that me, lily and kevin are precious angels that must be protected and that he likes Max when he's around too so that sounds like something... HMMM...

I can't get cocky, I always go home when I get cocky. But I like this.

my host chat saw this first (shout-out to Drewie and Dennis): Y��all I’m an idiot. I thought I only knew 2 people in this game (Owen and chips). Then I remembered I also know Jess, Autumn, and dan. Literally love and respect each of you my brain just don’t got the strongest memory no more. I’m so sorry!!!! I literally just told landen I only know 2 ppl. I’m just gonna try to not remember it happened.

Ugh.....I need to get it together.

I love my tribe talking to each other now that we have to!! Everyday I'm like damn either I'm on the bottom or I'm not the only one with piss poor social game. Ok so... the moment the hosts said we got 1 point, I started getting ready for tribal lmaaaooo. No sense crying over it either because all the tribes basically just had to show up in order to beat that

Like how could we not go to tribal with a score of ONE? That shit's embarrassing hahaha. That's like when your teacher passes the test back to everyone sitting around you but not you so you KNOW it's bad. But you know what? It's all good cause I'd rather us take the L now and get it out the way and we can all laugh about it cause losing won't be funny after long. The real question is: will Gryffindor do this the easy way or the hard way caaauusse we all know who the weakest link is. I just wanna see if someone puts two and two together without my prodding. Chips already said we voting together right and I'm like yes sir. There's no better place than being on the same page

WE WON OMG!! Jules basically gave me nothing, which is fine, i understand, but i'm so impressed that we pulled that off. Absolutely killing these reward challenges really helps!

"Y'all. Vote me out fr cause I'm inactive as fronk."

Tonight we learned Joshua is a feminist selfless man that I stan because he's volunteering to go home without me having to put his name out, which I was going to do. Like imagine if every guy had that kind of self-awareness, to recognize why he should be the vote and then embrace it instead of wreaking havoc. And wanting to see others succeed more than yourself? King shit! He knew when to hang it up and did just that. Like the number of times I've seen a vote get complicated for no fucking reason because everyone wants a fight to the death. Enough- I'm old, tired, and cannot exert too much energy at once. We got a long game ahead of us, not to mention quarantine. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you Joshua. We need more players like you and I appreciate your service

im back back BACK AGAIN with another confessional! not much has changed but a few updates for the sake of these being required :) 1. max has become even more inactive, he's not reached out to me personally since the first day and any time i messaged him after that he's sent me nothing back that i can build a convo off of, so we just have stopped speaking. Luckily this challenge only required four people and everyone else SHOWED UP!! or at least spoke about their availability, while he did not. However in his defense he said he was having some issues at home and i feel for him but his inability to connect has been an issue before he spoke about anything in our tribe chat with us. I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but this point my relationships with the other 3 are leaps and bounds ahead of where I am at with Max. Maybe he can pick up some speed if we continue winning challenges but, it's not looking too hot. SPEAKING OF CHALLENGES, well first we lost reward AGAIN, but we won immunity.. AGAIN! thank goodness for not being first or second boot, i always love being able to avoid these early tribals and if i can get to a swap without seeing one that would be ideal, but also if we do go and maybe vote out max? wouldn't be the worst thing. Moral of the story we won and thats exciting! however.. if we didn't.. the first big push of strategic talk came up with landen when he hinted at being frustrated with max's lack of presence which I also share. I do believe if we lost me and landen could have most definitely picked up ruthie and lily to form a four against him, if he even came to tribal. That would be my ideal situation and if we continue on this tribes hopefully it gives me a nice cushion to fall on if we do lose so i dont have to entirely blow up my social game within the first few rounds by voting out someone i've built a connection with. If max can go and the remaining four hufflepuffs can make a swap I would feel good about that, and maybe in the right circumstances we could work together on the swapped tribes because i genuinely like all of these people (yes max too but in this specific scenario he wouldn't be included bc... well..) anyways to close this off i still absolutely ADORE lily, she is fun and our conversations are really good, and same goes for ruthie, hopefully i dont have to see either of them or myself go home before we can really start playing because i think we could do some damage. :) ok anyways this was longer than i thought it would be goodbye

I'm still not over the fact that I was able to answer 7 of those questions right. I have the memory of a plastic fork.  I also love that we are SAFE!

I do kind of hope things get spicy and we swap this round and become two tribes of 9. That'd be cute. I don't want VI to get bored and crack on me. BUT ALSO I think I have solid enough relationships with almost everyone on this tribe... so who knows?!

Also... these hoes really out here trying to search for an idol in PUBLIC. IN PUBLIC. WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE?

Dear diary, seems like we keep winning challenges, which is great but tbh i feel like every time i give a disadvantage to my team because english is not my first Language, and so far its been a vocabulary test and a listening and speaking test. I mean I knew I signed up for school but damn. Give me some macarena  or drinking tequila challenge and I'll crush it

bippity boppity boo im back again with almost no content kdfasjhdskjfh

Ravenclaw working smarter and we keep winning, period!!! Thankful that y'all put Dan and I together....bc truly we will be unstoppable in these competitions. I kind of want to lose soon though to see how things would shake out, but I don't really have bad blood with anyone. Joanna seems passionate enough in the tribe chat and the challenges, even if she's dry in PMs. Miguel still won't give me anything other than a "how are you," but I hope the best for him in life lol

Still love Jules and Dan, and we made a three person alliance, but I haven't talked with either of them much one on one since it happened.... I really need to step the social game up eventually, but right now, I'm coasting, and maybe that's what I need before I find the time and resources in this game to strike!!

The idol hunt is hard but Dan seems onto something. Honestly he's gonna be a big threat sooner or later so he's sticking around as long as I can keep him! The last two games I've been in I've seen "goats" get dragged to the end and locked in final 3 positions, and then these perceived goats have ended up winning. so I want the big players in this game to rise to the top and fight it out in the end!

let’s say i am como we dice.. fed up with a lot :flushed: a lot meaning joshua starting to get on my nerves a bit! he’s genuinely sweet n all but.. the way he complained about us losing by putting down others work HHH pissed me off. which is why i will be voting him out hehe.. but so far my misting has worked because no one wants to vote me out! mwah

Slytherin killed the memory challenge. We thought we were all gonna flop bc all of us thought we sucked at memory stuff. um well we knocked it out of the park? Ravenclaw got 4 and huff/gryff got 1. We got 7 so oops. I do hope things turn out well for Gryffindor but no one I really know/care about is in that house so I'm not too worried. I hope they continue to lose or even hufflepuff since ravenclaw has 2 of my friends in it.

I have been TERRIBLE with confessionals but only because there's really not been much going on? I have an alliance with Dan and Owen, and even though I wrote off Joanna I was DEFINITELY wrong in doing that. Miguel is sort of the outlier. Our team is kinda iconic though? We've done so well on all the challenges. I might be the weakest link? More to come.

it's pretty sad but the whole tribe has agreed to vote max if we lose, basically he's just never around because of what's going on at home and like thats sad but... we gotta do what we gotta do *shrug*. I'm really feeling good about Hufflepuff moving forward, i've never bonded this much this easily with EVERYONE on a tribe and i just feel like if we keep winning or even if we lose and have to vote out max, we could be a great group for the future. especially i feel great about working with kevin, we dominated eve's game after eve came between us in 2020 that dastardly witch... :P (juuust kiddin. love ya!) but now we could totally do well in this game too i think.....

lily and ruthie are just so sweet and we really bond talking about pretty much anything,, especially lily is a great conversationalist and i just find it so natural to talk to them both. i'd love to work with any combination of people from hufflepuff in the future, hopefully i start sucking a little less at all these challenges. i think i did pretty great on memory :D

So here is the summary of what has happened since last time

We had a reward challenge that was drawing. Mine sucked. Apparently 3/4 so no reward.

We played Telephone. My team didnt realize that details are the most important parts of that and didnt share then with Autumn so Autumn didnt share them with me. Then I didnt know them when asked about them.

We scored 1 point and lost. Since I still have no alliance I'm scared that it could be me. So I kind of got an idea how everyone was feeling.

Juls let me know she wanted to vote Joshua and- it's not me so that's fine!

Then I was talking to Autumn about it and - OOP! Josh asked to be voted out. So unless he plays an idol I'm supposing he is leaving after asking to go.

woo my tribe won immunity!! we are safe! i’m glad bc i’m forming good relationships with ppl on my tribe. i think we all get along rly well so i hope we keep winning. the challenge was fun and i slayed bc i’m skinny mwah

Ya know what’s refreshing? Being on a tribe that actually wins!!! The last three games I’ve played I’ve been on flop ass starting tribes.

Now we’ll lose every challenge

10 minutes later

This sickening bitch just found a hidden immunity idol!!!! Good until f6 L A D I E S!!!!!!

HI BARBS SO I WAS GROUNDED SO I MISSED THE CHALLENGE BUT MY HUFFLEPUFF BABS SLAYED SM SO IM LIVING

CONFESSIONAL 2.1 —

Not much strategy has happened this episode, just simply tribal bonding! We are SlytherWINNING, getting reward and immunity this time! How wonderful.

Regarding my tribe mates, I love all three. I pray, pray, pray we make swap, i do Noh want to be a dirty bad guy and have to vote one out.. yet. Haha.

I was drunk during immunity, one full glass of rum & coke, so I am shocked that we won immunity. Honestly, I feel silly admitting I was drunk to my tribe because... if I can do that when drunk, imagine if I was sober. Competition Beast, duh.

I also gave up my run this round for the tribe to use. Was partially social, partially I just do not understand how to do the Hunt, so I might as well help the greater good. Either way, it comes off positively.

Hoping for a smooth journey for a little longer!

x nick

Joshue has basically quit at this point so I have no fear going into tribal