#and in exchange for my dad's garden excess he would give us proteins
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sometimes a post or something someone says or just anything can bring up such a specific grief in me
#when i was a kid my dad had this friend named dj#and dj was the MOST fun he sang along to the songs in kingdom hearts and helped us beat hard levels#and when we were broke as shit and mostly eating food from the garden he would go shrimping and crabbing and hunting#and in exchange for my dad's garden excess he would give us proteins#a lot of the time he'd bring a whole deer down to the house and i'd help my dad clean it and dj would just sit on the back steps smiling#because he didn't wanna mess us up but he thought it was rude to leave john alone with the work too#when he died my best friend came in sobbing because dj had been friends with her dad too#and her dad was bad bad bad news#abusive on multiple drugs and a gun collector to boot#and he got dj into drugs and dj overdosed in his car#and the GUILT danni had over that. like it was her fault her daddy had done something that killed our friend. because dj was our friend too#drug cw#overdose cw#sorry i just thought about him and it hit really hard#his hair was super curly and when i needed to stim as a little thing sometimes he'd put me on his shoulders and let me play with his hair#and i haven't thought about him in years he died in my senior year#i hope he's having a ball wherever he is. he's the kind of guy who could make friends anywhere really#grief cw#death cw#vent cw
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