#and imo if he hadn't been able to reconcile with chas and gemma later? we could have seen a MUCH worse john constantine | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

talentforlying · 10 months ago

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clocking in at midnight to say, do y'all ever think about how......there is some dark star at the heart of constantine that really, truly enjoys taking a fucking piece out of someone that wrongs him. that genuinely craves having power over people who are used to having that power themselves.

like, there's a reason that his principal driving forces are empathy and guilt: he cares a lot about people being wronged, and he gets absolutely fucking furious at the people who wrong them. what's more, he's clever enough to lash out in ways that ensure maximum damage without necessarily involving him directly. (instructing chas to pay people to break the legs of a guy that hurt one of his exes, involving ellie in a scheme to drop the archangel gabriel from grace) now, he always feels awful afterwards about taking such drastic steps, and the people he goes after are genuinely reprehensible fucks who deserved far worse, but the shit that he sets people up for in a fit of anger gets intense, man.

tbh i think he attributes that part of himself to his father. and it's part of why he struggles to look at himself in mirrors some days. i don't think he'll ever feel like he's left his father behind him, or broken the cycle, or outgrown the nasty bits of himself that made mistakes like newcastle, because he's never fully learned how to get that rage to go away before acting on it impulsively.

#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#this doesn't have to make sense tbh i'm rambling #but like him going all in for the tate club In Person? that was a BIG step in a new direction for him #and imo if he hadn't been able to reconcile with chas and gemma later? we could have seen a MUCH worse john constantine #someone who took his pound of flesh In Person and Enjoyed it. someone who never fully stopped grieving.#i think in a lot of ways the versions of him that show up in crap like neo-gothic and jld are truly his nightmare #bc those people are vindictive and nasty and wholly selfish. the way he was after cheryl died #except they never Stop being that way. he Did. they were built that way; he Wasn't #ANYWAY i talk a lot about how he doesn't like violence but imo that's in part bc he Craves it sometimes #and that's part of why one primary method of self-destruction is just finding someone to beat the shit out of him #bc then he can feel like a victim (which he knows how to be) and not like a potential aggressor (which he can't handle being)#idk if any of these phrases sound the way i want them to but we're just gonna chuck that all into the void and workshop tomorrow #( headcanons. ) I'M JUST LIKE THE BASTARDS I'VE HATED ALL ME LIFE.

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