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morinuu · 11 months ago

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LISTWN TO ME I JUST READ YOUR TAMAKI ANGST AND YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE SO FICKING GOOD??

A she falls but he falls harder

Reader finally gets over it and stops coming, moving on and focusing on herself, and he notices and starts realizing how he took her for granted

And then its him that's loosing his mind and shit like that. Dude. Dude. I'm loosing my MIND you write so well

first of all ty for the compliment >< so glad u liked it im blushing and giggling!! secondly im not sure abt the reader completely abandoning tamaki's side (i love being delulu), but i do have smth else in mind that's kinda similiar n i hope its satisfactory :3 i changed only a minor part from the og :P i wanna make this a small series..... maybe like 3-4 parts.. anw this is pt 1

☀︎｜tamaki x female reader. almost 4k words. continuation of this. ure sick, yamada hinata & aoko r just some ppl i made up for the plot, tamaki's pretty stupid n emotionally unintelligent, lots of feelings and background information, y'all r childhood friends, there's like one 4th wall break but i thought it was kinda funny so i kept it

you weren't a fan of february.

allergy season was your absolute worst, the wheezing and coughing sucking the life out of you as you struggled to change out of your clothes to get the day started. you didn't sleep much, interrupted constantly by your sore throat aching and squeezing.

sure, it's just hay fever to everyone else, but for a young woman who carried around an inhaler, it's hell. well, almost hell.

what was truly hellish wasn't the fatigue or the sneezing, but your mum dragging you back in the house and forbidding you from going to school until you're well enough to study again. how were you supposed to keep up with chemistry class if you skip?

not that your parents cared for your grades; they knew you could just enter whatever field you wanted with the connections your family held, but it felt nice to be awarded for working hard.

after your personal maid let out a small "pardon me, miss" and carried you back to bed, you realised that the feeling your soft quilt hugging your cold limbs would never be beaten by the jacket you desperately clung on to warm yourself in p.e - which just so happened to be your first period that day and you were dreading it.

"i'll be making you some tea, miss. would you like to breakfast now?" your maid's quiet voice addressed you, hoping you'd just sleep the illness off as you usually did so she could rest too.

to be fair, you weren't a very easy master to please, so could you blame her?

"i'll breakfast la-" a cough and some wheezing "-i'll breakfast later, bring some english breakfast with a slice of lemon." you said nothing else, instead focusing on calming your throat that seemed to intensify in soreness. "a pastille too."

"understood my lady, i'll be right back." she bowed and excused herself from your room, ignoring your groans of annoyance as you buried your face into the pillow.

"damn it." you muttered and extended your hand to grab your phone from your bedside table. unlocking it with the passcode (because you weren't in the mood to lift your head and let your phone scan your face) you squinted as the light mode of a social media app hit your eyes harshly, forcing you to use muscle memory to lower the brightness to its minimum.

you scrolled through, liking your friends' private posts and decided to message one of them.

yn.spam: gm dude, i cant come to school today cus im sick. can u do me a favour n tell aoko to give me her notes? she never looks at her messages.

with your phone back on the table to wait for a response, you lied back comfortably and closed your eyes, because as much as you wanted to watch something on netflix or play a video game, you didn't want to make things worse for yourself.

you grew impatient for the cup of tea your maid was brewing, rotating between wheezing, checking your phone and staring at the ceiling. it seemed like the seconds weren't passing by at all.

soon enough, your maid comes back with some fancy tray carrying a kettle, your favourite mug (the one your daddy drank from when you were a little girl before your parents divorced), a tiny plate with some lemon slices and a small box of pastilles as throat medicine.

you didn't thank the woman when she helped you sit up, nor when she stayed by your side to make sure you didn't choke between coughs and burnt yourself with the hot liquid. just as you took your first sip, your phone lit up to show your friend's response.

thatguyhinata: Ayooo gppd morning. Sry to hear tht. Sure if I see her I'll telm her.

the irises in your eyes rolled upwards at the boy's typos that irked you every time, completely ignoring how he didn't wish for your recovery.

yn.spam: thanks yamada

you never used any of your circle's first names, which your mum always found weird.

'you sure these are your friends, darling?' she would ask often, and your response would always be the same:

'yeah mum. leave me be.'

only tamaki had ever felt close enough to be called by his first name.

after swallowing your medicine, you dismissed the older woman standing over you and pulled your quilt over your quivering form again.

"gods, please let this be over soon."

...

well.

...turns out, you gotta be much more specific with what you ask of gods, because they might not have the same understanding of the word 'soon'.

here you are, three days later, with your allergy having been combined with a virus that'd been going around, intensifying your asthma symptoms and raising a high fever, making your mother and doctor ban you from walking into ouran.

halfway throughout the day, you realise what had been completely slipping your mind while your lungs were occupied inhaling abnormally.

"i have an appointment today!" you exclaimed with wide eyes, raising from the bed like lazarus from his grave.

"...?" the new maid next to you didn't say anything, she was clearly concerned. after some seconds of you overthinking something, she spoke up. "you have no other doctor's appointment today, my lady. he just left 10 minutes ago."

you shook your head quickly, ignoring the dizziness brought by your fever "bring me my phone," the girl was puzzled "now!"

bowing a quick apology, she rushed to your desk and handed you your phone with both hands, not daring to look up. you disliked new maids; they were inexperienced and annoying, but scolding her would have to wait.

"damn it, damn it, damn it!" you murmured under your breath and tapped furiously on your phone, trying to find where the hell you'd written kyouya's business e-mail address.

you had it saved as every other client of the host club had, but you had never actually used it, not once.

you never missed an appointment, and always booked the next one tete-a-tete with the black-haired manager. if you became a no-show without prior notice, wouldn't that look bad? would it annoy kyouya and he wouldn't accept you in the club again?

well no, but you had the habit of overthinki-

'would it annoy tamaki?'

you groaned and murmured to yourself - had you deleted it? maybe it was in your notes app and you erased it? was it on your old phone from a month ago?

"find an e-mail for me." you ordered the maid who looked up at you perplexed, but carried out the order nonetheless.

the girl was embarrassed when she found out her master was asking for a host's email, wanting the earth to swallow her when she dialed the ouran academy's number. 'the stuff i do for money..' she thought and prayed her family never found out.

it wasn't a long process to retrieve the address, but what was, was the rant hitting the maid's ears when your overthinking about what to write left your mouth at incredible speeds.

"should i say i'm sick? but he already knows that- he's in my class! maybe tell him to give my time to another girl? no wait, he would do that anyway... or after i apologise, i'll say that, like, something came up- but that's not believable enough... ugh!" you buried your face in your pillow and, unbeknownst to you, your new maid's eye was twitching in annoyance.

she understood now why your personal maid took the week off just when you got sick - not that she understood how and why your mum allowed it though.

(it's because you can be insufferable and she gets it.)

"my lady, may i help?" the girl let out, clearing her throat when you lifted your head from the pillow. "i can write the e-mail myself, please focus on resting."

after some convincing, you gave in.

and so 10 minutes later, back at ouran, kyouya's phone let out a ting! with your full name on the notification. he'd already guessed you wouldn't show up to your appointment considering you hadn't come to school in three days, and already had someone to fill your place but left it for the last moment in case you did show up.

why? well you were ln yn, and it was painfully obvious you were smitten with his best friend, though he could say it was a bit different from the rest of the clientele.

probably due to the fact that you'd known tamaki for much longer than kyouya had. and yet tamaki didn't seem to have the same fascination with you.

he remembers when he first met you, when he'd heard that you were spoiled rotten and weren't even planning to enroll in ouran until tamaki did. you simply transferred to be with the boy.

literally everyone knew of ln yn's almost freakish obsession with suoh tamaki, except for the victim himself.

so imagine his surprise at the strictly professional e-mail he'd received from you, where not a single mention of your host was included. weird.

after glancing at the french boy in the seat next to him eating his bowl of some-sort-of-commoner-convenience-store lunch, kyouya quickly typed a response and informed the next girl in line that a spot was open 'for tamaki's hosting services at 15:35'.

"one of your appointments cancelled due to a personal issue. we'll have someone else fill it." kyouya told tamaki, just as stated in the e-mail, even though it was pretty clear you were sick, and he couldn't figure out why you'd lie.

"hm? oh, okay!" the brunet smiled and went back to devouring his meal, not thinking much of kyouya's words.

kyouya pondered if he should tell him the client was his loyal friend yn, who would never skip out on seeing tamaki, but he stopped himself, curious as to how it would all play out.

eh, if the twins could have fun, so could he.

"oh! haruhii! daddy's here!"

the hours passed so slow you were almost convinced time was frozen when you weren't glancing at the clock on your laptop.

the drama you'd been watching started to lose its interest after presenting the third plot twist in a row, annoying you with all the plot holes it left gaping.

sipping on your green tea (you'd been drinking tamaki's recommendation, pomegranate, only to throw all of it in the trash when you heard he gave the same advice to haruhi), you paused the show and sighed in absolute, tyrannical boredom.

by now you'd normally have finished your classes and walked to music room #3, your favourite among them all.

you'd be welcomed by a host and walked to a sofa to wait for your appointment, ignoring any other girl in the waiting area trying to pick a conversation with the middle child of the ln family.

and soon enough you'd be approached by your one and only taking your hand in his and kissing it to greet you, with his blue eyes staring up at you innocently like a man in love; a look he gave to any woman nowadays, it was second nature to him.

you got lost in them so often, he sometimes dared to ask you if you didn't enjoy his company and that's why you spaced out so much.

preposterous.

you? disliking tamaki? how could he think that after all these years you spent playing together, with you transferring to his school for his sake, swallowing your pride and becoming the client of a host for him?

truly an absurd notion.

currently, however, you weren't in the host club. you were just a girl with a bunch of germs crawling everywhere around her room, unable to go out and see the man of her dreams kiss her cheek and tell her to 'get well soon'.

speaking of, your mum grew increasingly concerned when she noticed the lack of communication between you and tamaki. you were always attached to his hip like some sort of koala, and the fact that you hadn't reached out to him to inform him of your illness personally so he could visit you made her worry.

but it was only natural that you'd suspect you were being an annoyance to tamaki once you began to notice his eyes shift from you to the newest host a couple of months prior. he'd been a petit brunet boy. a first year who was friendly and of lowly origin. you didn't think much of it.

at least not until the day hikaru asked if you could fetch something he forgot in the back room, completely ignorant to the fact that haruhi had come to the club early that day to ask for another uniform because she'd been accidentally thrown water at by two classmates of hers being stupid.

so when you opened the curtain and saw a small-sized girl with only her panties on desperately trying to hide herself from you, it didn't take more than a couple of seconds to put two and two together.

tamaki wasn't fascinated by the commoner errand 'boy' turnt host.

he wanted her.

you closed the curtain, giving the girl her privacy back and muttering an curt apology, "sorry." before deciding that hikaru would have to get his things himself.

neither haruhi nor you spoke about it again, and she never snitched to the host club about your discovery of her sex.

you liked to pretend it never happened, and that it never changed anything. but just like with tamaki, pretending doesn't go anywhere. the hints were there. his furiously blushed face when he stared at her, his protection of her when the twins teased her, his demands for kyouya to do things for haruhi because she'd like it, not even because she'd asked - well, the stage of denial didn't last long.

shortly after came anger. pure, unexplainable rage and envy. the fourth of the deadly sins was soon rushing through your veins like a drug you couldn't get clean from. 'why her?' you would ask in your rampages.

you couldn't figure it out, and you couldn't ask anyone either, because as infuriated as you were, hurting haruhi by revealing her identity wasn't on your to-do list.

not because you were a good person, god no.

rather, if tamaki knew you hurt his precious daughter - you barfed - like that, who knows if you'd see him again?

and so came the bargaining stage, with your rage never leaving your blood stream, of course. being petty was always one of your main personality traits, one that tamaki would often point out.

what did fujioka haruhi have that ln yn didn't?

'nothing.' you muttered to yourself.

nothing.

nothing?

could you be absolutely sure?

you didn't see her much outside of the club, and there were a couple of times you'd heard the hosts hung out together.

maybe they had a moment? or two, three?

perhaps it was high time you stopped bothering him. perhaps then he'd realise you were the one.

that's why your texts to him had much lessened, coming to a complete stop after roughly two months of your self-doubt and insecurities getting the best of you. so did your occasional visits to his house for studying. you'd even stopped wearing the perfume he got you as a birthday present last year, even though you couldn't find another scent that fit your tastes the same way.

despite your attempts at catching his attention, the bubbling fury in your chest rose once again when you realised that maybe tamaki didn't care about you at all.

he texted you as much as you texted him, he hung out with you only when you asked, and when he came closer to you and noticed the change in your scent, he went: "different perfume, princess?"

and while normally you'd be ecstatic at him noticing, your happiness was immediately destroyed when "the other one was a little old fashioned, good thing you moved to something more fresh."

why couldn't he say what he would have said had he been in an otome game, something among the lines of: 'did you wish to match mine?' or something cheesy like that? ...was your scent not to his tastes?

'did he forget his skills from hosting or what?' you whined.

consequently, now that you were sitting around doing nothing to reach out to tamaki or any of your 'friends', your mum couldn't help but take her phone in her hands to call her friend hitachiin yuzuha.

back in the pink room that is the host club, today's rendezvouses seemed to be going by awfully quickly for tamaki.

in the couple of minutes of break he had between the end of this rendezvous and next the one to come, he quickly found his phone from his back pocket and went over his schedule sent by kyouya.

your name had been crossed out and replaced with another one he recognised, another regular guest of his. he raised his eyebrow at that.

he lifted his head and looked for the shadow king.

"hey, kyouya?"

"hm?" kyouya didn't bother to look up from his laptop, furiously typing god-knows-what.

"why's yn's time gone?" he asked innocently in a curious voice that had you heard, you'd be swooning over.

"i told you, she cancelled due to personal business," his answer was straight-forward "although it's probably because she's ill."

ah, that makes sense, you were the one that cancelled.

wait, huh?

"what do you mean she's ill?" his eyebrows furrow a bit and he cocks his head to the side like a cute dog who doesn't understand anything its owner says.

"what do you mean, 'what do i mean'? she's been absent since monday because she's not feeling well, and she won't come today either. pretty simple." kyouya finally looked up at tamaki with a strange expression on his face. "has she not told you?"

tamaki shook his head a bit, "uhm.. no, not really." and tapped his phone again to check his messages on multiple social media apps to make sure he wasn't missing anything. his emails were empty too, only some spam from a newsletter page that he never bothered to cancel his subscription from.

"how do you know?" he questioned kyouya, but before he could answer, "no wait, don't answer that, you creep. of course you know." he sighed.

after some seconds of quiet thinking, "why didn't you tell me?" tamaki continued his questioning.

"everyone already knows, my lord." an awfully familiar voice butt in making the french boy turn his head around, resting his hand on his waist.

the voice belonged to kaoru, who had his arm wrapped around his twin's shoulders. seems like they also just finished with an appointment.

"what does that mean? who's 'everyone' and why am i not included?" tamaki crossed his arms, feeling kind of left out.

"that guy hayato or whatever who hangs out with yn and her friends was telling someone and we overheard." hikaru shrugged in unison with his doppelganger.

honey's soft voice entered the chat. "you mean hinata-kun? yn-chan's friend? yeah, he told me when i asked where yn-chan is because i thought she forgot to bring the candy she promised." he quickly grabbed a piece of cake from the fridge near where kyouya had been sitting and left the room swiftly.

huh, how convenient for him to enter for the plot.

"and why's it that you two evil bastards didn't bother to tell me?" tamaki exclaimed in disbelief, pointing a finger at the both of them. how could they? his precious childhood friend was sick at home and he didn't know?!

"sorry milord-" kaoru announced with his shoulders still raised, "-but you're always talking to yn-" hikaru joined, "-how were we supposed to know you're not asking her about her well-being?" they delivered the finishing blow together.

what were these lame jerks insinuating? 'not asking about her well-being'? what did they know? just as he went to respond with his usual barking, he stopped himself to instead text you on his own for the first time in a while. not that he noticed.

the twins looked at their king with a confused and weirded-out expression on both their faces, before glancing at each other and shrugging again, already disinterested. kyouya had long gone back to his work and so the twins walked to an empty sofa in an almost isolated area of the club, lying on top of one another to give a nice view to whichever client was into it.

about six minutes of pure silence passed between the two before kaoru's phone buzzed; a text from his mum.

the twins read the text simultaneously, with hikaru raising an eyebrow at its contents. they looked back at the slender boy texting you on his phone at the other end of the club, confused about his behaviour.

"seriously...?" hikaru quietly asked kaoru, referring to the text, only to be met with the other's puzzled expression.

as for the half-and-half boy, his fingers were anxiously tapping kyouya's table and awaiting your response to his message.

tamakiii ♥♥♥♥: Hey darling! Is everything alright? I heard you didn't come to school because you're sick. I thought you just didn't feel like coming. Why didn't you tell me?

he didn't know you let out a deep sigh at his text, even if it was three days late. it gave you hope - false hope. that he'd started to pay attention to you again. maybe being distant worked-

tamakiii ♥♥♥♥: want me to come over?

the question felt natural to him, you always visited his home but seldom did he ever visit yours. since you were sick, it made sense that you wouldn't come over this time.

yn>.< : arent u busy rn tho lol

your name on his phone had obviously been put there by you, his choice of emoji had been party hat for some reason.

"be serious, what does that even mean, tamaki?" you'd asked him one day during a break from your studying in his room.

"you don't like it..?" he pouted like usual and you rolled your eyes.

"here. that's better." you handed him his phone back with a new 'yn >.<' as your contact name.

tamakiii ♥♥♥♥: I can just come after club activities.

wait, he was actually coming? after two months of your only contact being through your rendezvous? it worked?! it actually worked?!

you thought of how to answer him.

at your lack of fast response, tamaki thought of ways to help you feel better through your illness.

'aha! eureka!' tamaki's head echoed.

tamakiii ♥♥♥♥: I'll bring some commoner snacks we can enjoy too! Commoners have incredible food to help alleviate illness!

tamakiii ♥♥♥♥: What are you even sick with, anyway?

of course.

commoner food, of course.

haruhi's food.

yn>.< : lol no its fine i dont want u to get sick. ill just c u at sxhool yn>.< : school* yn>.< : doc said its just a cold but yk w my asthma n shit

tamaki was thoroughly disappointed with your response, what did you mean 'you didn't want him to get sick'? you'd never cared if you caught his cold.

his heart raced with worry, and he decided he would stop by anyway. knowing his next appointment was approaching, he speed walked over to the newest host.

"haaaaruuhiiiiii!" he waved his hand to her and her two clients, smiling widely with all of them smiling back at him.

"yeah? what is it, senpai?" haruhi looked up at him from her armchair.

"sorry to intrude-" he runs his hair through his locks - an action that you told him the ladies would swoon over, "-but i was wondering, do you have any recommendations for commoner food that sick people can eat?"

"...are you serious?"

#ohshc #ohshc fanfic #ohshc x reader #fanfiction #ouran high school host club #ouran host club #tamaki x reader #tamaki suoh x reader #tamaki suoh #light angst #x reader #suoh tamaki

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kings-highway · 7 months ago

Text

Haikyuu Captain Squad Flash Fiction: Miniature Rocket

---

Bokuto comes back from a summer holiday, and one of the first things he does is knock on Kuroo's door. He holds up the box that he's holding - "Look what I got," he says, grinning. "It's a miniature rocket. Apparently it can launch like a hundred feet high. Can you help me build it?"

Kuroo is a little skeptical, but his interest in launching a rocket gets the better of him. Plus, he's pretty sure Bokuto will light a fire if left unattended with this thing.

So he agrees, and they head out to an empty park field that morning to go build the thing. Kuroo likes to think he's pretty good at this sort of activity, but after about an hour and six separate arguements, he throws the piece he was holding down into the grass.

"Dude, this is impossible. We need help," Bokuto groans, flopping into the grass.

Kuroo thinks about this for a moment, before making a call on his phone.

- When Daichi arrives to help, he finds the two boys rather dispairingly stretched out in the grass.

"Why do you think I'll be able to help?" he asks, sitting down with them and beginning to look at the pieces.

"I dunno, you're like, good with this kinda stuff, yeah? Like the building stuff."

Daichi stares at Bokuto for a second before looking at the rocket again, and deciding he may as well give it a go. Unfortunately, thirty minutes of frustrating confusion later and they've made no progress.

"You know who might be able to help?" Daichi says, pulling out his phone.

- Ushijima is next to arrive on scene, standing above them and staring down at the three idiots as they go through the pieces and explain what they think they're supposed to do.

"Are there not instructions?" Ushijima asks, frowning.

Daichi has the good sense to seem embarassed, scratching at the back of his neck before nodding to the other boys. "I just assumed if they needed help there hadn't been any."

"I... didn't check..." Kuroo mumbles.

Ushijima turns to find the box, digging around inside to produce a small folded booklet for instructions.

"Alright, bud," Kuroo calls. "Just tell us what to do and we'll do it."

"I cannot."

"Excuse me?"

Ushijima looks over to them. "I cannot read it. Where did you buy this?"

"Mexico," Bokuto says, prompting Kuroo to plant his face into the grass.

"Give me a moment," Ushijima says, turning away to make a phone call.

- "Alright... so... no, put the long piece... yeah, just connect it in like that-" Oikawa honestly wasn't so thrilled at being dragged out here mid-afternoon, but he hadn't had anything better to do. Daichi and Kuroo are both covered in grass stains by now, but at least they're almost done. "Okay, then- wait, shit, sorry - we're gonna need the wigglymajig back-"

"I thought you knew how to read Spanish," Bokuto frowns, where he's standing over Oikawa's shoulder and pretending he's helping.

"Yeah, everyday normal words," Oikawa replies. "I didn't exactly study my engineering vocabulary, this shit is complicated."

"It's just a toy," Ushijima says.

"You're just a toy, shut the hell up."

Either way, after about two hours of guided help, they have arranged the rocket and managed to get it's innards working to the best of their abilities. They set it up on it's launch pad, and all scramble back the reccomended distance.

"Alright, blast off!" Bokuto says.

Nothing.

"Blast. Off," Bokuto repeats, annoyed.

Still nothing.

"Did we do-"

The question Daichi was about to ask, 'did we do something wrong,' is immediately answered by the rocket exploding into a million pieces, making them all jump and flinch back as it's plastic is scattered in all directions.

#haikyuu #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu captain squad #haikyuu captain squad fanfiction #sawamura daichi #kuroo tetsurou #bokuto kotaro #ushijima wakatoshi #oikawa tooru

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qiwoomi · 2 years ago

Text

i. unspoken nature

series masterlist main masterlist next

"Let's get married."

The man you barely know suggested. It was a polite request. You knew that you were in the position to decline.

But your logical thought says otherwise. Just accept it. Say yes. It said.

You were no fool. It is obvious that he just wants to marry you out of benefit. But still, you wonder why is it not his family who approached you. Usually, arranged marriages are handled by the family of the groom or bride to be.

Wasting no more time to think, you simply agreed.

It was just a marriage after all. Plus, you have little to no love life anyway. The man is unapproachable, he isn't the type to harm anyone. You're sure because you've known him ever since you entered high school.

Nevertheless, it won't hurt to also use him as some sort of shield from your unstable family. You just had to act like a true loving couple. Easy peasy. (Or so you thought.)

Present day

Seated across of you is his relatives.

"Haitham, it's been almost two years that you guys are married, have you never thought about you know... having kids?" His aunt asked.

It was awkward as you just munch on your food silently. You've only seen his relatives for a few times, and there's very little exchange of conversation from you.

"Y/n is still young. There's no rush in having kids." He replied. Encircling his arms around your waist.

"Pfft. You know Y/N, young women these days are too afraid of having kids. Are you?"

"I've never really thought of it yet. Perhaps I'm just too focused on studying." You avoided her accusation, it was already a pressure to think of a new answer every time your husband's side of the family ask both of you about this. You don't want to stir up any possible arguments.

"Oh? I'm sure Haitham is financially stable enough to provide for a family. Don't you think?"

You just smiled, not wanting to further the conversation. Pretending to agree. You finished your food before excusing yourself outside of the venue.

Walking towards the cobblestone path that catches your attention, you immediately sit on a swing that were adorned with flowery ropes. You simply want to take a breather, admiring the flower field.

You gazed at the sky, the sun setting as the moon starts being more visible. The sky is painted with a mix of orange and dark blue. The peaceful ambience around the garden drifted your thoughts.

To say that you were happy ever since your marriage is a lie. It is just a mask for everyone outside of your relationship. Pretending like a couple that everyone wants to be. When it's all just a relationship purely built out of convenience. Though it's no use regretting it now, you never think twice about his offer anyway.

"Y/n. I've been searching for you." Your husband interrupted your thoughts, as you halted the swaying swing with your feet as you stood up from the seat. He approached you. "Let's go. It's already time for us to come home." He offered his hand to navigate you out of the garden.

As both of you were walking to the parking lot, he broke the silence. "I told you to stay by my side. My family would've thought we were fighting." He stated, stopping in his tracks. You just muttered an apology, not in the mood to reason with him.

Unnoticed by you, his aunt was observing you both from distance. Haitham however, noticed this. Hence why he suddenly lift your chin up, going in for a kiss. As you wrap your hands around his neck.

It isn't genuine. But it is genuine enough in the eyes of them, enough to keep them thinking that your marriage is real.

He takes your hands in his, leaving a peck on one of them.

Seeing that his aunt is convinced enough and finally entered her car, so do you both.

You were lying on your bed, the scenario earlier playing in your head.

For the past few weeks, hell not even week but it has been a year. Alhaitham never really tries to form a conversation with you, despite living under the same roof.

You're not really complaining, but you have been feeling lonely.

After you both are married, Alhaitham had stated a few rules after both of you moved in to your shared apartment.

You both sleep separately. He even told you to not disturb him in the morning, especially waking him up. You are not expected to cook for him, take care of him, or anything that a married couple would do.

To be specific, you both just live as housemates. Nothing more than that.

He would sometimes initiate conversation with you, but it's mostly for important things like your student fee, grocery needs and such. You are also barely talking to him first either.

It sometimes did make you feel sad. Pathetic even. You didn't even know how could you last that long living with someone, as if living with a wall. Though it did make you feel inferior to some of your friends or family with a healthy relationship. You were craving for it too. But as time goes by, you became used to it.

At least he still respected your boundaries. It's the least thing he could do.

Somehow, you didn't even know how did you end up suddenly thinking of a divorce. The pen and papers are already within your hands, racking your brain on trying to think of words, reasons. Rational reasons. Logical reasons.

Maybe you should just say it in his face? But what if he rejected it instead. What if you stuttered. You don't want to make a fool out of yourself.

Stretching your arms, you started writing whatever it is that comes in your head. It might even be a vent essay at this point. But as long as it's convincing, then it's fine.

After about an hour, you finally finished. Folding the paper neatly, you are already thinking of ways on how to deliver it to him.

You were too nervous to hand it to him yourself, which is why you settle on placing it on the coffee table in your living room. Hoping that he will notice it when he comes home late at night.

The sun shines through the curtains by the window, waking you up from your slumber. You opted to continue your sleep, until a vibrating sound can be heard by your bedside table. You sighed. Last night's thought keeping you up, that is until you past out at approximately 2AM.

You turned off the alarm, immediately getting up to wash up and get ready for school. After making your bed, you checked yourself in the mirror for the last time before going out of your room, holding your backpack to put it near the door of the apartment. Heading to the kitchen, you make your usual breakfast and a tea as you put them on the table, sitting down and start eating your food.

You suddenly feel an unsettling aura, it's as if someone is staring daggers behind you. You finished eating as you wash the dishes, putting them back on the usual place. True to your words, your husband has been waiting to talk to you.

You were about to head out for school until he called you. "You want a divorce..?" He bluntly asked, still sitting on the couch with a book in his right hand. You were about to reply however he suddenly added. "Forget it. Let's talk about it after you came back." He resumes reading his book again, as if he didn't just ask a serious question. You don't need to ask him for you to know that he had a day off. With that, you simply nod your head and walk out of the house.

author's note: taglist is open!!

est. 010323

do not copy, translate and repost my work.

#genshin impact #genshin fanfic #genshin fluff #genshin angst #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #alhaitham #alhaitham fluff #alhaitham angst #alhaitham x reader

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kitorin · 1 year ago

Text

OUR SPRING

013. bros before hoes

a/n. rin pov for this chapter !

July 2022

Challenges and new difficulties never scared or worried Rin.

However, that was only limited to football. Sure, a successful change in career was an amazing feat done by him, and it doesn't compare to moving up a class in mathematics. But in music, he has the other three, as well as the company, and on the soccer field there are 10 other players by his side, as well as the bench, coach and manager.

But within this classroom, he was on his own.

He knew that very well, and his expectations were met the moment he walked in and settled down at a desk.

"Why is Rin in this class?"

"He's delusional if he thinks he can do well here."

"Isn't he really stupid?"

Hate isn't something foreign to Rin. Even before becoming an idol many despised him and his diligence, as well as his skills and abilities. They can't do anything to him; they don't even have the guts to say it directly at him because they know they his fame won't let them get away with it.

What really worried him, was how true their statements were.

"Oi Tada." Rin wasn't one to involve himself in any drama, but this time he was genuinely curious, and was also technically apart of it. He carefully listened to the stranger without making it obvious.

"Don't go around running your mouth. Especially about grades when you've only gotten 60% at best here." Aside from English, Rin would've considered 60% on a test great, to him, a pass was a pass.

'Tada' was offended, immediately lashing out. "I'm sorry you're smart, only three people got As last semester." What kind of excuse was that?

The stranger remained stoic, Rin would've retaliated violently if someone tried to justify their words by calling him skilled. "Then join us three, shouldn't be that hard?"

"The tests here are hard-"

"Doesn't matter. Regardless of how hard it is you have no right to judge someone else and are in position to do so or even try."

The argument was cut short with the arrival of the teacher, but the winner was evident; the calm stranger sat next to Rin. Must be a fan of his if they sat with him without hesitation.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I already said I was." He had no idea why they kept bothering with him, maybe if he gave them an autograph they'll stop.

"Geez. You're cold."

"Then go sit somewhere else." Rin missed when all his actions and words weren't monitored, now he can't call anyone an idiot or lukewarm without getting cancelled.

"You think I want to sit near that?" He'd rather die than admit it, but the disgusted accentuation of the last word and the gesture towards the rest of the class amused him. "That's what I thought."

"So, what's your name?" They continued speaking. "I'm y/n."

The question proves his guess wrong, you weren't a fan and didn't even know who he was. There's a tiny bit of guilt for assuming otherwise.

"Itoshi Rin."

"Nice meeting you. I'll be seeing you a lot from now on."

"Doubt that." Give it a test or two and the teacher would start convincing him to move back down to standard. "Studying isn't my thing."

"You're so pessimistic." You switch to a whisper, as the teacher assigns work for revision of the previous semester.

"I'm being realistic. I'm shit at school." He wouldn't talk about himself this much with someone outside of his band, but his academic capabilities were no secret, pretty much everyone knew how low his results were.

"So? You can improve a lot regardless."

"Easier said than done."

"I was bad at math last year."

"Your idea of bad is anything under an A." It's a guess, most people who were good at school would rather die than get anything that wasn't outstanding. Rin acknowledges how suffocating perfectionism was, especially when people invalidate the sense of disappointment just because others would kill for the same result; now he sort of understands how other soccer players felt.

"I guess that's true." Rin scoffs at your agreement. "But I've done a lot worse than a B."

"Can't be that bad."

"47% was my first result last year." It's pretty good in comparison to Rin's results, but if a pass was a pass, then a fail was a fail. "Then I got around 70%." You probably ended up investing in tuition if you improved that much.

"Then 30%." That sounded a lot more relatable to Rin.

"You weren't wrong about bad."

"See? But then I got an 87% after that."

"Are you here just to show off your grades?" It came out coldly, but he didn't say it with hostile intentions.

"No, my point is, anyone can improve."

"Don't bother, I can't get a tutor."

" You don't need a tutor either, I didn't need one." But we're not the same. Rin's so tempted to say it out loud, why were you trying so hard to help him?

"Fine. I'll give you a term and if you were wrong don't even bother."

"Deal."

Rin's happy.

He can't help but grin (a rare occasion) at the 75% in bright red, you really weren't lying when you insisted he'd be fine. It's not exactly perfect, nor an A, but it's such a significant improvement and that's all that matters; he's proud of himself.

"See? I told you you'd do better. Well done." You pat his shoulder, as you're both on the way to the station.

Even if you were wrong about him, he'd still be content. Not only you were efficient at teaching, but you were also kind, and a generally comfortable person to be around. Nothing you said was unnecessary or illegitimate, you were honest but not harsh.

Rin's opened up to you a lot. From the reason why he quit soccer to another potential career change in the future. It didn't matter what it was since you always listened without judgement.

"I can't take any credit, it's all yours. You're the one who taught me everything. He still can't understand why you think of him so highly, you're the one who put most of the effort into making sure he could perform well, while maintaining your own grade simultaneously.

"Don't discredit yourself."

Before Rin can respond, you continue speaking.

"It was you who ultimately decided to join the advanced class, you put a lot of effort it without ruining the rest of your schedule. Be proud of yourself Rin, most people can't even dream of confronting their struggles. It's scary to try something new."

Rin agrees with the last statement, even if he did it with the expectation of giving up quickly.

"y/n."

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"For?"

"Everything." For defending him on the first day. For helping him. For believing in him.

"That's what friends are for, no?"

Friends. The closest to those were his bandmates (or as Reo calls it 'family', with him as the doting parent and Hyoma and Rin as the 'kids'), or teammates, who he doesn't even speak to anymore. You're probably the first person to willingly talk to him normally, not because you're forced to or interested in his fame.

Rin pulls you in for a hug, earning a surprised gasp from you. He releases you quickly, after processing what he just did.

"Sor-"

But before he can finish apologising, you hug him back, to Rin, the affection is foreign yet welcomed.

July 2023

Rin tosses his phone onto his bed, as he drops his school bag on the floor. He'd never tell him but the conversation with Hyoma had a smile tugging at his lips; both at how ridiculous is was and how it reminded him of you.

There's a deep sense of gratitude Rin has, that two of his close friends are dating; because he cares for both of you. He knows very well that you're both amazing people (even if he does slander Hyoma constantly) and only wants the best for your relationship.

TWELVE | FOURTEEN | MASTERLIST

PAIRING. chigiri hyoma x reader

SYNOPSIS. school gets overwhelming with constant rumours and accusations, thankfully someone is willing to help. but what happens when this mutually beneficial agreement escalates into something more?

GENRE. social media au, fake dating, idol / actor au

TAGLIST. @saesins, @angelchigiri, @punkhazardlaw, @silly-ez, @y-sabell-a, @mellozhi, @luvlunazx, @oldest-dream-pdf, @misfits1a, @hoshithinker, @livelaughloveisagiyoichi, @mave-in, @rinsie, @luvcryo, @fabitheraven, @h3xi2g0n3

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cambriancrew · 9 months ago

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Honestly if your psych professor is taking off points for references within research papers being more than ten years old and not because those sources have been contradicted by more recent data, they're a bad teacher.

And also the studies suggesting that trauma creates a system are literally using sources that are thirty to forty years old.

If you're dismissing a minority of my sources for things you're excusing your sources for, you're not looking for valid information. You're biased and looking for things that support your position.

And if you're studying to work in the mental health care field you better get rid of that bigoted bias or you're going to be a shit health care provider.

#syscourse

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ephemeral--dreams · 1 year ago

Text

Something Interesting. (5)

Dottore/Reader

Rating: T

Word count: 1248

Warnings: Dottore is his own warning, tbh this chapter is fairly tame

Notes: FIELD TRIP. Sorry for the wait on this part I have been severely ill yay chronic illness

( part 4 )

☆ ☾ ☆ ──────────────────

He brings it up after an experiment, when you're lying on the table still covered in your own blood, not entirely paying attention to anything. You don't quite process that he's speaking, for a moment.

"...Repeat that…?"

"We'll be going on a trip."

It's enough to snap through the haze. "A trip?"

"Indeed. To Sumeru."

"I see. You're going yourself?" That would be quite a ways away. Wouldn't it be easier to simply send one of his segments? And it seems he intended to bring you, too, which is highly unusual.

"It is a matter that requires my personal attention," he tells you, fiddling with a vial on the side table. "You can assist me. Rather, I don't enjoy the idea of leaving you here for a trip that will take weeks."

Hmm. Interesting. You don't fancy the idea of being left here alone for that long, either. "You'll have no arguments from me."

"Of course not. You never argue. Now, stay still. Since we're leaving soon, we're on a tighter schedule. There's some tests I need to complete before then," he leans over you, lab light haloing him like some sort of unholy angel, and slides the needle under your skin. The world blurs.

☆

A week later, the two of you have boarded the ship with the crew and set off. It was going to be quite a while before you made it to Port Ourmos. A long stretch of time where there was little to do. Perhaps you'd get some reading in, you thought, peering out over the ocean that night. It stretched on for an eternity.

You wondered, if you fell in and let yourself sink, how would it go? Would you drown over and over deep in those depths forever, unable to surface but unable to give into the water in your lungs completely? Would the waves ice over above you, pyro entirely useless to help you as the water snuffed it out? Would you die of the hypothermia caused by these cold waters before anything else could get you?

…You didn't quite feel like testing it. But the idea of it was intriguing.

"Deep in thought, I see."

The voice over your shoulder nearly startles you into falling in then and there. You glance up at Dottore as he settles into place next to you.

"...I've never been outside of Snezhnaya."

"We'll be in quite a different environment. I hope you're prepared."

You shift away from the ship's railing. "I suppose a change of pace won't do any harm. We're too far out for me to question whether I'm prepared, regardless."

"True," his gaze lingers on the water. "Perhaps if we remain on schedule we can arrange some sightseeing."

"Pleasure on a business trip, doctor?"

He smiles, eyes glinting with mischief under the moonlight. "I'd like to study the reactions of the locals to a harbinger wandering around."

"Mm, sure you would," but you know him better than that. He's finding an excuse to spend time with you. As if he doesn't do enough of that in the lab.

It's these sorts of things that truly make you wonder what he feels about you. His patient, his companion, his assistant. You place yourself into whatever role he needs. Does he realize how deep your own feelings run? Despite his intelligence about the body, he's lacking in his ability to read the mind. But so too are you in your ability to read his.

Whatever you were, you belonged to him, so the specifics didn't really matter. But you'd still like to know, one day.

☆

The rest of the boat trip was uneventful. The interesting part was when you docked.

Sumeru is different than everything you are used to. Brighter, louder, and much, much warmer. You quickly found you had to shed your coat and long sleeves for something cooler. It was strange to feel so bare without copious layers to cover you. Ironic that the heat affected you so deeply, when you were a pyro user.

Dottore seemed entirely immune, wandering about in his usual outfit. Above it all as usual.

You don't know how the man does it.

Nothing much gets done that first day. Even Dottore takes a moment to settle in after traveling, apparently. You wouldn't know. It was the first time you'd gotten to go along with him on such a long trip, after all. Perhaps this was a learning experience for the both of you. Mainly you.

You have dinner together, check into the inn he has arranged for the night, and part ways. You lay in the bed and stare at the unfamiliar ceiling above you for a long, long while.

Then it's back to work again. You're not sure of the details of everything he's up to here, though you piece together enough through the files you organize for him and the experiments you oversee. He has some meetings with people that you're not allowed to attend. Some sort of authority figures. Perhaps the sages are like the harbingers of this nation? What matters is that you're there for a couple of weeks before the harder parts of the little operation come into play. Namely—

"It's been a while."

"Damn. He brought you with him, did he? I shouldn't be surprised," the man who betrayed the Fatui a year ago shakes his head.

"He brings me everywhere. Though I didn't expect you to be here, either."

"He didn't tell you anything?"

"No."

Scaramouche scoffed. "You'd think he'd just love explaining his crazy experiments to the only person who tolerates him enough to listen," which wasn't wrong, you think. Usually he did… "...I'm going to become what I was meant to be."

There's an edge to his voice that you can't quite pin down. Some sort of longing that you yourself have never once felt. You think that where there's something empty inside you, there's something ravenous is him. Something that he is desperately trying to grasp. The gnosis….? He already stole that.

You let the pieces fall into place as you look at him. So that's it. No wonder Dottore hadn't mentioned what he was doing. It was certainly something to be secretive over.

"A god?"

"Exactly."

What did Dottore think he was doing with this whole project, hm? He'd be lucky if the wrath of the gods wasn't brought upon him. Ah, but he loved taking risks. Always had. This wasn't all that different from usual.

You supposed it was even that rarely expressed reckless side of him that drew you in. You think he would sacrifice anything in the name of science. It was a strange sort of devotion, that reach for knowledge and power. To create and destroy.

It was good, then, that you were unable to be wiped out by the tides of his obsession.

"Don't you hate him?" You ask, finally. "I wouldn't think you would let him drag you into something so risky."

A laugh fell from his lips. "I hate everyone. He's nothing special. If I have to work with him to claim what should always have been mine, so be it. Necessary sacrifices."

You hum. You consider all you know and all his words imply, and decide perhaps it's best not to tell him that none of this will return what is lost to him.

Dottore's two favorite experiments stand and gaze up at the behemoth of a machine, and wonder what fate has befallen them.

#il dottore x reader #dottore x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin imagines #story unfolding

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saurons-pr-department · 7 months ago

Note

not PR related, please excuse me, I just wanted to thank you for saying that you don't need to be a modern scholar to read the silmarillion. one of the things that genuinely stopped me from even trying to read it was a friend who kept saying that you need to have extensive knowledge of philosophy and religion to read it. I now feel more confident that I can read it ( and if I shall become confused or if I don't understand something, I can simply put it down and nothing will happen)

thank you <3

I'm glad one of my posts could give you more confidence to try read the Silmarillion! It really is such a good read and you're right, just like any other book you can just put it down if you don't like it.

In all honesty, I would disagree with anyone who says you need to be knowledgable in the various fields that gave inspiration to Tolkien in his world building or story/poetry writing in order to enjoy what he wrote. It can be enjoyable from a pure study standpoint to have knowledge of where different elements of a work come from and how they've all been brought together to give us the Silmarillion, but is it required? I would say no.

Let's just look at Túrin Turambar. His evolution in Tolkien's writing can be traced back to Tolkien's 'The Story of Kullervo', this being Tolkien's own telling of the story of Kullervo from the Kalevala, a Finnish epic. This is interesting information and I enjoyed my read of The Story of Kullervo and looking at the connections between that and the story of Túrin. But I don't think my initial reading of either the Silmarillion or The Children of Húrin were hampered by my never having heard of Kullervo going into them. They are their own stories and I'm fully capable of reading the words on the page in front of me, and comprehending them and enjoying them as their own stories. It's not like there's secret extra information in The Story of Kullervo that you need for the events of Túrin's story to make sense. Everything you need for it to make sense is given to you in the Silm. The same goes for the rest.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying the Silmarillion on its own terms and I hope you have loads of fun reading it! Who knows, maybe it'll inspire you to read into the sources of inspiration and then you will be knowledgeable of them too!

And I'll just leave this quote here....

In Dasent's words I would say: “We must be satisfied with the soup that is set before us, and not desire to see the bones of the ox out of which it has been boiled.” [...] By “the soup” I mean the story as it is served up by its author or teller, and by “the bones” its sources or material—even when (by rare luck) those can be with certainty discovered. - Tolkien, On Fairy Stories

You can just read the book like

#answered asks #heliflower #i must read that full essay some day actually

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softmoonlightmelody · 2 years ago

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Foxfire and Exillium can't be the only schools in the Lost Cities, so I'm making up my own, a secret third option, Gildstern.

Gildstern is a school for non-banished elves who do not pass the entrace exam or midterms or finals for Foxfire, talentless elves, and non-noble elves.. If a noble elf is talentless, the elf goes to Gildstern instead for what would traditionally be the Elite Levels.

School starts at nine o'clock am sharp, and ends at 4:30 pm.

Gildstern focuses on non-ability-based things. In the Foxfire curriculum, those are noted as the following:

Agriculture - this is taught by gnomes! It is to be noted that some Gildstern graduates tend to go into the agricultural field, and work with gnomes. The Council uses that as an excuse - 'we're doing agriculture too!' and safely ignores the fact that Gildstern graduates are, by virtue of their position, not exactly happy with the Council.

Alchemy & Elementalism - a popular pastime and career, alchemy is some Gildstern students' favourite class. Like agriculture, alchemy is a very common career choice for Gildstern graduates. Instead of being two independent courses, Gildstern has chosen to combine them. Slang is often used, as this is called 'AlchEm'.

History - it's very important to learn history. All history is taught, only the censors guarding things, including human history. The year is divided into halves, and then one half is divided into six quadrants. One half of the year is spent teaching about Elvin history, and the other six are about all other intelligent species and humans.

Physical Education & Skills - the skill teaching in Exillium and the physical education in Foxfire, combined! Called just Physical Education.

Metaphysics & the Universe - exactly like in Foxfire, again combined. As slang, Gildstern students call this class 'The Works'.

Talents/Linguistics - this is its own thing, where elves who have manifested take classes together with those who also manifested. If the students are talentless and in the last two years of Gildstern, they replace this class with Linguistics, where they learn languages. Those languages are not taught to manifested students, although if the students really want to, they are allowed to take Linguistics in a different way. Talents and Linguistics replace what was previously Ability Detecting for the previous five years.

Okay, that's the curriculum. There are tests, but there is no need to score perfectly on them. Instead, those tests are used to determine which group the students fall into. Smarter students are in class together, while less smart students are together too. It varies subject by subject, and the Gildstern staff just says it's because of schedule mixing.

Students have five days of school, two of which have half their classes, two of which have the other half, and one of which comprises entirely of study hall and visiting hours. If the student is taking talents, they have a period where they can take Linguistics. If students are not taking talents, they can sign up for any of the clubs which happen, or they can spend time in the music program. If you're not taking music or linguistics, you can just simply have a study period. at that time, you don't even need to be at school.

Things to do on study hall days are listed as thus:

Linguistics - if you are taking talents, here is your two-hour period for Linguistics! 9:00 am to 11:00 am.

Music - have an interest in music? Take this class to learn music theory, compose music, and make music. Happens at 11:05 am to 12:05 pm.

Lunch - you're required to be at lunch, because announcements and attendance is recorded here, as it is in the rest of the days. 12:10 pm to 1:10 pm.

Hobby Clubs - these are clubs for things like reading, writing, animals, games, and design. 1:15 pm to 1:45 pm.

Drama - technically a class. This lasts for one and a half hours. 1:50 pm to 3:20 pm.

Subject Clubs/Tutoring - each last thirty minutes, and run twice. If you're interested in a particular subject, get there for one of the sessions, or sign up for tutoring! Help each other and have fun! 3:25 pm to 3:55 pm OR 4:00 pm to 4:30 pm.

Of all schools, Gildstern in the closest to high school and middle school formats in the human world.

Students who are talentless enjoy study hall days because they do not have to arrive at school until 12:00 pm, or, if they take music, until 11:00 am. Sometimes, if a student has no classes on a study hall day, they only come for lunch and then leave. After all, lunches are quality and worth it, and leaping is easy.

An student's schedule on regular days may look like this:

9:00 am to 10:00 am - The Works

10:05 am to 11:05 pm - History

11:10 pm to 12:10 pm - AlchEm

12:15 pm to 1:15 pm - Lunch

1:20 pm to 2:20 pm - Agriculture

2:25 pm to 3:25 pm - Physical Education & Skills

3:30 pm to 4:30 pm - Astrakinesis

The same student's schedule on a study hall day might look like this:

9:00 am to 11:00 am - Linguistics

11:05 am to 12:05 pm - Study Hall

12:10 pm to 1:10 pm - Lunch

1:15 pm to 1:45 pm - Architecture Club

1:50 pm to 3:20 pm - Study Hall

3:25 pm to 3:55 pm - Linguistics Club

Gildstern is a manor donated by a talentless Vacker who realized with anger that there is no option for continued education. To this day, there has always been a talentless principal. The manor is large, and contains multiple wings. Fortunately, the secret passageways now function as actual things, and people will often take them to get places easier. The manor is shaped like Versailles, and is around half the size of Versailles. One wing is entirely devoted to apartments, for the teachers and principles, in case if necessary.

Wraith is the Vanishing teacher.

(Also - let me know if I forgot anything, because I am going through this)

#is anyone else pissed off that no important people anywhere are talentless?#kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #headcanons #way too much work #i will now die #from effort #various kotlc thoughts

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aphrodisiac-siren · 2 years ago

Text

Innocence- Aemond X OC

Summary: War is an ugly thing; Something that is common knowledge to all and yet something people resort to anyway when conflicts arise. It was not something Eirlys Velaryon wanted though, nor what Aemond Targaryen wanted as well. It was a war they were dragged into, and suffering they had to endure for crimes they were innocent of.

Warning: non-con sex, under-aged intimacy.

Masterlist

Part 2

It had been a few days since the incident at the training field and the tension among the boys hadn't died down completely yet.

Even as their families had all gathered together to mourn the death of Daemon's wife, lady Leana, the young princes couldn't find it within themselves to set aside their dislike for each other, doing everything they could to avoid any conversation.

"If Eirlys turns out like our sister, I will lose all hope in this world" Aegon commented to Aemond who watched the two girls talking a few feet away from them.

Helaena was admiring a spider, occasionally stating a few informative things about the arachnida while Eirlys leaned away from the eight legged creature, slightly terrified and not wanting to be in close contact with it.

"What's the point of having a pretty face if you're constantly mumbling things that don't make sense" Aegon continued with a smirk "what good is a mouth that talks about nonsense instead of being put to other good use"

"What are you saying?" Aemond asked, clueless as to what his brother was trying to say.

"Gods you're so stupid" Aegon muttered under his breath before taking another sip of his wine "do you not have certain thoughts about her, Eirlys?"

"Well she is my betrothed" Aemond obliviously answered, not knowing the lewd context with which his older brother was questioning him "of course I think about her, she's my closest friend"

"With a slow brain like that it's no surprise she's your only friend" the older boy rolled his eyes at his brother's obtuse response "now excuse me, I need more wine"

Aemond looked back at his older sister and his friend, slightly unsure of what they found so fascinating about that spider.

Slowly, each one of the family members headed inside as the servants busied themselves to light the candles to illuminate the castle after dark.

"Princess Eirlys" he called out, using his formalities to address her while in company of other nobles "a word?"

"My prince" Eirlys followed his lead to the stone ledge of the little balcony that overlooked the waves meeting the sand on the beach.

"Do you want to accompany me on a stroll?" Aemond asked, his gaze fixated on the sandy dunes in the distance "just a along the shoreline and a little further away from the beach"

"Right now?"

"Yes, just the both of us"

"We aren't allowed to leave the castle during the day unchaperoned" The younger girl reminded, keeping her voice down "let alone going out by ourselves after dark"

"Fine" Aemond sighed, slightly disappointed "I'll see you inside after supper"

"Don't be away too long" the princess gave him a gentle smile.

"I won't"

Aemond never met Eirlys after supper, he'd not even returned as soon as he'd promised.

The princess had waited up for him in their old nursery, which was now used as Aemond's youngest brother's; Daeron.

She read a few books to pass the time and tried to work on her valerian until it was time for bed.

The princess had barely gotten a few hours of sleep before she was woken up by Halaena, informing her of the queen's wish for them to be present in the King's old study, which was now nothing more than a gathering hall.

The girl sleepily got out of bed and put on her dress robe as she followed the older girl out her chambers.

Even at this late hour, Eirlys noticed the castle was awake. She was half expecting for someone to inform her of an attack, because of which perhaps they'd woken her up to seek refuge in the one of the bunkers beneath the red keep.

Upon the girls' arrival, one of the King's guards opened the doors for them, allowing them to enter before shutting the doors once again.

Eirlys took note of her Queen Alicent sitting next to a maester who was probably tending to someone. His back faced the princess, shielding whoever was sitting in front of him. The girl also noticed her brothers standing near the far end of the room alongside Baela and Rhaena, who all looked like they'd gotten into a scuffle.

The princess left Halaena's side to go and ask her siblings what had happened but a much gruesome sight had captured her attention . Her fast paced steps halted to a stop when she laid eyes on Aemond, who's face was covered in blood, his left eye now stitched shut and the skin around it blistered and swollen.

The boy quickly tried to turn away, not wanting her to see his face with the way it looked now but the maester held the boy's jaw in place while he continued to sew shut the wound.

"What happened" she gently held the boy's hand, loosely sliding her fingers under his palm that rested on the armrest of the chair he was sat in, afraid that she might inflict more pain on his already bruised knuckles.

Aemond simply winced in pain as his hand squeezed hers unconsciously, not quite able to respond to her just yet.

"Were they attacked?" The girl sweetly asked the queen, the genuine concern she felt evident in her tone. She bent on her knees, resting her chin on the armrest so she could get a better look at the maester stitching the wound.

"Yes, he was" the woman responded, emphasising that it was solely her son who was entitled to the sympathy Eirlys was showing "it will heal will it not maester?"

"The wound will heal" the old man assured as he tended to the injury "but I'm afraid the eye is lost your grace"

Aegon made his entrance, half asleep or perhaps half drunk, it was hard to tell.

He yawned as he stumbled a few of his steps before standing by his mother's side.

Alicent's emphatic expression quickly transformed into that of rage when her gaze shifted from Aemond to Aegon. She slapped the boy hard across the face, catching the young princess Eirlys by surprise who flinched at such a harsh gesture.

"Your brother has been brutally attacked while you were away drowning in you cups" the queen snapped at a very surprised and slightly clueless Aegon "when will you learn to be responsible over a good for nothing drunk"

"Jace, Luke?" Rhaenyra ran in with Daemon who stayed at the doorway. She ran straight to her sons to examine the injuries.

Eirlys' grandparents also joined the rest of them, concerned about Baela and Rhaena.

King Viserys was the last to arrive along with the commander of the king's guard.

Rhaenyra looked toward her daughter, to inspect of any injuries. Her gaze stayed fixated on her as if she were making sure her daughter was truly fine, to which Eirlys responded to by walking toward her mother so she she could assure her she was unharmed.

Aemond slowly let go of her hand as the princess walked away from him, hoping that she would stay by his side instead of going to stand with her brothers.

The king was not pleased about their entire mess of brother against brother, blood against blood.

"What exactly happened here" the king demanded.

"They attacked me!" Aemond yelled from across the room, turning to look at his nephew. He momentarily glanced at Eirlys to let her know it was them who had started all of this.

"He attacked Baela" Luke argued.

"...broke Luke's nose"

"You punched me"

"That is a lie"

"He stole Vhagar!"

"You think my son's telling the tale?"

Everyone began to yell, eager to be heard over the other, creating quiet the commotion.

"It was an accident" Rhaenyra tried to defend her son.

"An accident? Lucerys brought a blade to the ambush to kill my son" Alicent raised her voice, not at all willing to hear anything from the princess.

"It was my children who were attacked and forced to defend themselves" Rhaenyra stepped in front of the three kids "vile insults were levied against them"

"What insults" The king questioned.

"The legitimacy of my son's birth was put to question"

"He called us bastards" Jace softly said from behind his mother to which Aemond looked away quickly to hide the smirk creeping to his lips.

"My sons are in line to inherit the iron throne your grace" Rhaenyra stepped closer to her father "this is the highest of treason. Prince Aemond must be sharply questioned over where he heard such slander"

"Over an insult?" Alicent sighed with annoyance "my son has lost an eye"

The king ignored her before turning to Aemond.

"Aemond" he spoke sternly "where did you hear such lies?"

The boy's gaze shifted from the king to his mother. But the prince knew better than to blame her in front of everyone and add to the mess that was already at hand.

"It was Aegon"

"Me?"

Viserys was on the brink of losing his temper and it had become evident. He wanted answers and was getting no where.

"You, boy, where did you hear these lies?" He asked only to be met with silence. By this point the king was furious "Aegon! Answer me!"

"We know father" The boy meekly replied "Just look at them"

Aegon didn't really care much about them being possibly bastards, he'd grown rather fond of their company. Yet in that moment he couldn't deny the obvious truth.

"Let me make this quiet clear, anyone who dares question the birth of Rhaenyra's children, should have his tongue removed" The king looked around, making it quiet evident that he was being serious "this terminable infighting must cease at once, your king demands is! Now, you will all make your peace and put this behind us"

"That is insufficient" Alicent walked away from her son "Aemond has been permanently damaged, goodwill cannot make him whole"

"I know" the king sighed "but I cannot restore his eye"

"No because it's been taken"

"What would you have me do?"

"There is a debt to be paid" she coldly responded "I shall have one of her son's eyes in return"

Eirlys looked up at the queen in shock, not expecting her to resort to such a drastic judgment.

"My dear wife.." Viserys tried to reason with her.

"He's your son Viserys" Alicent's voice cracked "your blood"

"Do not let your temper to guide your judgment" The king warned, not siding with his wife on the solution she'd suggested.

"If the king won't seek justice then the queen will" Alicent's voice grew harsh "Ser Criston, bring me the eye of Lucerys Velaryon"

Eirlys pushed Lucerys behind her and while Rhaenyra held her hand.

"you will do no such thing"

"You can choose which eye to keep" she turned to address the younger boy "a privilege he did not grant my son"

"Alicent" The king called out, his patience running thin "This matter is finished"

The queen did not seem too pleased about his disinterest in his son being maimed and for being told off in front of everyone. She swiftly reached for the Valyrian steel dagger strapped to the king's side, quickly unsheathed it before marching upto Rheanyra.

"Mother!" Luke called out, alarmed as the princess turned around to hold the arm the queen had the dagger in, away from her.

It was chaos unleashed again. The guards rushed to separate the two while Criston was making his way toward Alicent only for Daemon to stop him.

"You've gone too far" Rhaenyra struggled to hold Alicent's arm away from her.

"I? What have I done but what was expected of me? Forever upholding the kingdom, the family, the law while you flout it all to do as you please" Alicent's voice faltered "Where is duty? where is sacrifice? its trampled under your pretty foot again" she went on "And now you take my son's eye and even to that you feel entitled"

"Exhausting wasn't it?" Rhaenyra spoke calm and coldly while she did her best to maintain a certain distance between her and the queen "Hiding under your cloak of righteousness? Well now everyone sees you as you truly are"

Alicent had finally snapped after years of growing hatred and frustration. She brought down the dagger and sliced the princess' arm from elbow to wrist before the two were finally pulled away from each other. She let the dagger fall as she looked around to take in people's expressions, most of who had started to think she was going mad.

"Do not mourn me mother" Aemond's voice broke her out of her daze "it was a fair exchange. I may have lost an eye but I gained a dragon"

"This preceding is at an end" the king stated before walking away, completely tired and annoyed.

The morning after was just as glum and tense.

The servants in the castle had all heard of the event that took place and each tried to sneak a glance at the wounded prince, treating him like some sort of spectacle up for display.

Aemond hated it, both the stares and how he looked now.

"It'll heal" Eirlys tried to sound enthusiastic as she reached for his hand to offer some solace "it may take a while but-"

The girl had decided to visit him, despite her brothers asking her to just leave him be. And as much as she loved her brothers, she loved her friend Aemond as well and wanted to see how he was doing after being badly injured the night before.

"I won't Eirlys" Aemond sighed "I've been maimed for life"

"Aemond-"

"I'm sure you don't wish to marry me now" he looked down at their hands, observing how cautiously she was holding on to his "I look hideous"

"No of course not" the princess responded, the thoughts never crossing her mind. She was filled more with concern over anything else when she first saw him. And even now, all she was worried about was how painful it must be for him to endure all of it.

"I wish you hadn't called them bastards" she softly muttered as she gently traced his knuckles with the tip of her finger "you promised you wouldn't say it"

"I promised I wouldn't say it around you" the boy clarified "they accused me of stealing a dragon. How do you even steal a dragon? You claim one, and if I wasn't meant to ride Vhagar, I'd be burned until I was dead"

"You didn't have to chose a dragon that belong to the girls' late mother" Eirlys tried to explain "and then proceed to be rude about it"

"Your brothers really have a knack for turning the story around in a way that makes me the villain" the boy scoffed in disappointment "and you just take their word for it"

"But-"

"I've just claimed myself a dragon" he went on "the largest one alive. Couldn't you be a bit happy for me?"

"But they're not the only ones at fault here" she spoke "if you'd been nicer-"

"If I'd just done this or just done that. it's always my fault isn't it?" he snapped, his voice starting to falter with each word as a wave of emotions washed over him "I've just lost an eye and been blinded permanently and yet you still find reason to vouch for them. When will you start to look at things from my perspective? How I'm the one they tormented for never having a dragon, something clearly out of my control. How I'm the one they bully for it, how I'm the one who has lost an eye"

Aemond looked away and covered his face with his hands as tears began to stream down his face, his shoulders shaking as a result of his crying.

"W-why won't you ever stand by me l-like that" he managed to ask in between his sobbing "you're supposed to be my f-friend, you know that I w-would defend you"

Eirlys felt her heart clench.

She'd never seen Aemond lose his composure and cry before. She nervously wrapped her arms around him, afraid that she might hurt him if she hugged him too hard.

"I'll always stick by you" she sadly told him as he leaned against her, melting into the hug while he continued to cry, unable to bottle his emotions any longer "you know that"

"Then for once, believe me. I was the one who was attacked first" he told her, his head leaning on her shoulder "I only acted on it after it, I swear this to you"

"Alright, I believe you" she gently squeezed his shoulder as a way of assurance.

She held him in a close embrace until he stopped crying, wiping away at his tear stained face before he cleared his throat.

"Do you want to know about how I claimed Vhagar?" He sheepishly asked as he sat up straight, but still refusing to fully look at her to avoid the princess seeing his face.

"Tell me everything" she eagerly responded, leaning forward slightly in anticipation for Aemond to tell her about how he'd finally got himself a dragon.

The princess patiently listened, quiet invested in his story of how she was hostile at first but then let him climb into the saddle, following his command to take flight.

He gushed in excitement about how the rush of adrenaline filled him as he soared amidst the closed while the cool night's breeze blew against him. How he'd almost fallen out the saddle and how despite it being his first time flying a dragon, he managed to somewhat learn how to manoeuver the large beast by himself.

"Perhaps one day we could fly together" he suggested "when I'm fully trained with how to control her"

"Me? Fly Vhagar with you? I don't think Ember would like it very much" Eirlys informed, referring to her dragon "and I doubt Vhagar would either"

"Oh nonsense, if I like you, so shall she" he tried to assure her "besides, it'll be just one flight. What could go wrong?"

"A lot of things apparently"

"You'll be fine" Aemond waved her off "just trust me"

"Oh I trust you" the princess gave him a look with equal measure of uncertainty and mischief "I don't trust Vhagar"

"She'll warm up to you" he simply stated with a confident puff of his chest "I know she will"

Aemond and Eirlys continued on their little debate about Vhagar. Eirlys smiled subconsciously as she looked at Aemond enthusiastically rant on and on about the dragon. She was happy that at long last, Aemond had no reason to feel exiled.

The news of Laenor's death came as a shock to the young Eirlys.

The girl was informed of her father's passing a few moments after she woke up and the rumours had already begun to spread, saying that the princess Rhaenyra played a part in ordering the death of her husband.

Eirlys was not one to pay much heed to servants' gossip but when her mother informed her of her decision to leave for Dragonstone and wed Daemon, the young girl began to have her doubts.

Since Eirlys was betrothed to the young prince Aemond, she was to stay at the Red Keep, as queen Alicent's ward.

Eirlys did want to be with her family to grieve the loss of her late father, but duty came before all else and the princess wasn't left with much of a choice with regards to where she would take residence.

Aemond did try to offer some consolation but there was nothing he could possibly say that would provide much comfort to a person who'd just lost their father.

In the days that followed, he tried to provide some distraction to keep her mind preoccupied from the grief. He'd help her with her valerian, ask her to watch him train with Vhagar and on some occasions, had her take lessons in archery along with him.

Aegon did try to be of some help as well but his only solution was to drink wine and Alicent did not approve of his ideas.

Halaena sometimes sat with the girl during the late hours of noon to teach her embroidery, something the younger girl was not as good at; as they watched Dareon play with his toys.

It had been a few years since Eirlys had said goodbye to her family. She was fourteen now and had gotten some what accustomed to living without her mother and brothers by her side.

She was presently sitting in Aemond's chambers, the both of them reading a book.

"Z-zirila iemny maz-verdatan leda zihon riña" Eirlys struggled to read the text, pronouncing a handful of the words incorrectly.

"Zirȳla iemny mazverdatan lēda zȳhon riña" Aemond repeated, emphasising on the words she'd mispronounced "it means her belly swelled with his child"

"Oh" she simply stated before she paused for a few moments, her mind lost to her thoughts.

"How does one come to be with child?" She asked, completely clueless "I've heard they have to kiss-"

"No," Aemond looked at her like she was daft "I overheard someone say they have to sleep together"

"How does that even work?" Eirlys tilted her head in confusion.

"I don't know" Aemond shrugged, now slightly intrigued by the discussion "I suppose they have to sleep in the same bed and then on the morrow the woman will be with child"

"But that's-" the girl huffed in annoyance "what if you're in the woods or someplace else and it's cold, and you have to hold the person next to you for warmth to fall asleep? I don't want to be with child just because I was cold"

"But if you're in the woods you won't be asleep on a bed silly" the prince quickly responded.

"Why does a bed play an importance?"

"Like I said, I don't know. I just heard one of the servants say something like "he took her to bed and they slept together a few nights after as well" when they were talking about that wet nurse who got pregnant"

"Your mother must know" Eirlys asked hopefully "I mean she's got to, she's had four children already"

"I am not asking my mother this" Aemond rolled his eyes "you ask her and then tell me"

"She's your mother" Eirlys argued "you do it"

"Well I won't, let's find someone else who'd know"

"Aegon might" the princess stated, as she closed shut the book, no longer interested in learning the language momentarily.

"Aegon?" Aemond's expression switched from interested to disappointed while he picked up the book and stood to go and put it back on the shelf "he's an idiot, all he does is drink wine and sneak out the castle after dark"

"And he's older" Eirlys tried to persuade the boy as she walked toward him "he must know. Just ask him about it, doesn't hurt just to inquire"

"Alright" Aemond sighed in defeat, not really knowing who else to ask.

"Aemond?" Eirlys called out, another question coming to mind "if a kiss doesn't leave you with child, why do people do it?"

"I think people who are close enough who want to deepen their bond do it" he tried to think of a reason "probably just a show of affection"

"Well, we're close" she looked down at her hands on her lap "and we've never..."

"Hmm, I suppose we haven't" Aemond recalled, as he nervously glanced at her "d-do you want to, perhaps try?"

"I don't mind" Eirlys innocently shrugged as she turned to look at him.

The two of them nervously leaned in, eyes fluttered shut.

"Wait" Aemond softly called out as he quickly opened his eye, Eirlys doing the same "where do I put my hands?"

"I- i don't know" Eirlys answered as she too suddenly felt it awkward having her arms just dropped at her sides "should we just hold hands?"

The boy held both her hands in his, her palms facing down and his facing up, similar to how one would hold their partner's hands while they recited their vows at their wedding.

The two once again closed their eyes and leaned in, Aemond gently pecked Eirlys' lips before they both pulled back.

"Is that it?" She asked, not sure what to expect in truth.

"I uh" Aemond nervously rubbed the back of his neck "I thought it was alright, don't see the fuss about a kiss like the way they mention in books"

"I know" Eirlys agreed "it's just... so simple"

The two of them didn't really think much of it later, not really expecting it to be so bland. They quickly began talking about something else, the topic of kissing slowly losing their interest.

"I was thinking about getting a jewel in place of the eye I lost" Aemond told the princess as he pointed to the eye patch he had begun wearing.

"Really? That'd look amazing"

"I know" he smiled, proud at the little idea he had "I was thinking of which one though, perhaps an emerald?"

"No, too much green" the girl disapproved as she remembered the green vests he so often wore "how about a sapphire instead?"

Aemond and Eirlys had decided to spend the day by taking a stroll through the gardens.

It had been a couple of days since their first kiss, that neither of them even considered as their first since it was just an innocent peck that didn't really bring much of a change in their relationship.

Aemond had got the jewel Eirlys had suggested fitted into the empty socket just that morning and had decided to retire the eye patch for the day, eager to show off the vibrant blue sapphire.

"It feels a little weird" he told her as they walked on the pathway next to the bushes, referring to the sapphire "but I like the way it looks"

"I told you the sapphire would suit you well" she smiled, taking credit for it "did you have that conversation with Aegon?"

"No" the boys huffed as he recalled their curiosity regarding how a woman came to be with child "I haven't been able to ask him about it yet"

"You're stalling" the girl threw him a nasty look "I tried asking one of my handmaidens but they refused to tell me"

"What about Helaena?"

"I asked her last night after supper" Eirlys told him "but she responded with a rather complicated statement that I could not decipher"

"Ah yes, my sister has a tendency to speak in riddles sometimes" he heaved a sigh "wonder why she does it"

"She's been helping me lately with my embroidery though" the girl pulled out a handkerchief that was tucked away in her dress sleeve "look"

Aemond gingerly took it from her grasp as he examined the embroidery on it that Eirlys was so eager to show him.

"Well that's a nice um" Aemond struggled to figure out what it was exactly that she'd tried to design with the colourful choice of threads "do you wish for me to be honest or should I instead reward you with false flattery?"

"You're such an arse" the princess snatched the handkerchief back from his grasp as Aemond chuckled at her gesture "those were supposed to be tiny butterflies"

"Emphasise slightly more on the word 'supposed' my lady" the boy grinned down at her "so here's another thing you can add to the list of things you're not good at apart from high valerian"

"I hate you" Eirlys grumbled as she quicken her pace and walked away from him.

"Hey-" the boys laughed as he jogged up to her "you know you love me"

"Qogralbar hen" (fuck off) Eirlys snapped at him.

"Impressive" Aemond grinned, annoying her even further with that shit eating grin of his "is that how you speak to your future husband, princess?"

"Perhaps you shouldn't be such a nuisance to your future wife, my prince" Eirlys side eyed him.

"This is going to be one of those marriages, isn't it?" the prince chuckled at the thought "where we're constantly bickering playfully amongst each other that others might mistake for enmity"

"Oh please, this isn't playful. I quiet genuinely hate you" Eirlys jested as she tucked away the handkerchief "one day I'm going to feed you to Ember"

"No, I'm going to feed you to Vhagar" he corrected.

Aemond found it amusing watching Eirlys get annoyed at the things he said just to poke fun at her. He found it even more hilarious when she, in that annoyance, came up with more insults to hurl at him.

Once they were bored of the view the gardens provided and the repetitive sarcastic mocking, the two of them decided to head back to their chambers for the evening before it was time for their supper.

Aemond walked Eirlys to her chamber, trying his best to not poke fun at her.

"I'll see you after supper?" He asked as he held the door open for her "Dareon's nursery"

"Weren't you supposed to talk to Aegon" the girl reminded.

"Fuck" the prince grunted in annoyance, not really wanting to be the one to ask "he's just going to call me an idiot for not knowing. Can't you ask him?"

"No, I cannot" Eirlys sweetly smiled just to tick him off "ask him tonight and then tell me on the morrow after we break our fast"

"The things I do for you" Aemond rolled his eye.

"I agreed to marry you" Eirlys jabbed a finger at his chest "I think at the very least you could ask your older brother a simple question"

"Then don't marry me" the boys shrugged.

"Alright" Eirlys responded nonchalantly "but first go and talk to Aegon. There's no way out of this for you"

"I hate you" Aemond looked away.

"You know you love me" Eirlys quoted him as she leaned forward, placing a hand on his chest before she gently kissed his cheek "I'll see you on the morrow"

Aemond sighed as a small smile graced his lips. He turned around to walk back to his own chambers once Eirlys had shut the doors to her own.

The two of them had been the closest of friends ever since they could remember. And even though she'd never kissed his cheek before, the innocent gesture wasn't much of a surprise. They had grown so close over the years that by now it was almost natural with their increase in age.

The young prince found himself smiling as he walked all the way back to his quarters, suddenly unsure why that tiny little gesture of her kissing his cheek made something momentarily flutter in his chest.

As expected, Aemond was met with the usual teasing and insults when he asked Aegon about the question both him and Eirlys were curious about.

"You are so stupid it physically hurts" the older boy exaggerated "honestly, am I supposed to believe you are my brother?"

"Are you done making a fuss about it?" Aemond sounded annoyed "or are you just going to keep at it instead of actually telling me"

"Hang on" Aegon held up a finger to silence his brother as he chugged down an entire goblet of wine "I'm going to take you someplace-"

"No that's not-" Aemond sighed as he looked at his brother "I don't want to go on a little trip with you, just answer what I-"

"You'll see for yourself" Aegon smirked as he rummaged for something under his bed before standing up again and tossing some old clothes to his brother "wear this"

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see"

Aegon snuck out the castle, this time taking his little brother along with him. He carefully managed to sneak past the guards, having done this many a times before.

The prince walked through the now-very-familiar city streets, knowing every turn and alleyway by heart.

He walked up a few stairs and through some narrow lanes until he reached a street lined with half naked women, eyeing everyone passing by and calling after them in an attempt to seductively lure them.

"Where are we?" Aemond nervously asked as he inched closer to his brother.

"A whore house" Aegon casually responded "this one is of my favourite establishments"

"I don't think.." Aemond trailed off as he clutched his older brother's cloak "we should go back"

"You're six and ten brother" the older prince slapped his brother playfully on the back "it's about time for you to be as educated as I am"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Aegon didn't respond.

He simply walked toward the door of the house, swinging in open and pulling his brother along with him.

Aemond could practically hear his heart pounding against his chest as he followed his brother through the dark hallway preoccupied by people who were pressed up against each other, moaning profanities that echoed throughout the narrow space.

"Prince Aegon" a woman smiled at the boy "I see you've brought company"

"Ah yes, this is my little brother" the prince pulled Aemond forward "it's his first time so send him someone who's patient enough to show him the reigns"

"Mhm" the older woman eyed the young boy up and down as she looked behind and yelled out someone's name, probably the whore who'd serve as his entertainment for the night.

"You wanted me to answer your question didn't you?" Aegon smirked as he handed the lady a handful of gold coins "time to get it wet"

Aegon ran off to find a girl to pleasure himself with while Aemond was guided to a room.

To say the young boy was nervous as he was shoved into a room with a naked woman awaiting him would be an understatement.

The boy stood frozen as she took her time undressing him, muttering things like "it's alright" and "calm down" as she guided him to the bed to teach him the things a man was supposed to do for a women in bed, which in turn answered the question he'd been curious about regarding pregnancy.

About halfway through, Aemond shoved her off him, making haste to grab his clothes and to dress himself, quiet eager to leave and uncomfortable with the places of himself her hands and mouth had explored.

"Where are you going my prince?" The lady asked, surprised that one of her customers wasn't satisfied with her service, ignoring the fact that Aemond was still only a boy.

The prince did not bother to answer her question.

He ran out the establishment and made his way back to the castle, using the same route Aegon had used earlier and one that Aemond was surprised he remembered so well.

Upon his arrival, Aemond rid himself of the rags Aegon had given him and wore his usual attire.

The young boy's mind was muddled up from the events that took place. The things he saw, the things he experienced, the things the whore told him.

He felt so sick, disgusted even.

He never wanted any of this, and in that moment he regretted even going to Aegon for answers. His mind was replaying everything all over again as his heart continued to pound against his chest.

He aggressively shoved open the doors and ran to the only person he felt safe with.

Not caring that the hour was late, he knocked loudly against Eirlys' door.

The princess took a few minutes to get out of bed and answer whoever was on the other side of the door.

"Aemond?" She called out sleepily as she rubbed her eyes "what's wrong?"

The boy opened his mouth to talk but wasn't sure what to say. There was no way in seven hells he was going to tell her whatever just happened.

Unable to communicate what he was feeling, he just hugged her, still trembling; something that Eirlys noticed.

"What happened" she asked again with an undertone of concern as she wrapped her arms around him.

"I can't be alone right now" the boy's voice faltered "can I sleep here?"

"Of course"

Eirlys grabbed a pillow and a blanket and placed it on the little mattress by the window.

"You can have the bed" she sweetly told him "I like the night sky anyway"

"No it's alright, we can just share" Aemond took the pillow from her hand as he crawled into bed.

"But" Eirlys recalled what Aemond had told her a few days ago "if we sleep in the same bed then I'll get-"

"You won't" the prince quickly responded, knowing exactly what she was referring to "I uh, I was wrong about that"

"Oh" Eirlys slowly walked to her bed and sat on the edge "did you ask Aegon?"

Aemond was reminded yet again of the place he was taken to by his brother and quickly cleared his throat to break the long silence.

"I did"

"And?"

"I really don't wish to talk about it" he told her, his voice almost pleading "please"

The girl sensed a certain discomfort and didn't pry any further. She silently got under the covers and adjusted her pillow.

She leaned in to kiss the boy's cheek as she said good night but Aemond responded by quickly flinching away, taking her by surprise.

"What are you doing?" He asked, sounding almost terrified.

"I-I was only kissing you goodnight" Eirlys tenderly told him, feeling suddenly shattered by his response.

"Oh" he muttered "I see"

She didn't lean in a second time to kiss him and instead just rested her head on her pillow.

Aemond rolled to his side so that his back was facing her as he shut his eyes, desperate to fall asleep so that he could be free from his thoughts.

The boy finally drifted off into a dreamless slumber, while he tightly clutched his tear stained pillow.

#aemond targaryen #ewan mitchell #ewan nation #hotd #house of the dragon #tom bennett #world on fire #aemond #aemond smut #aemond x you #aemond headcanons #aemond x fem!reader #aemond x y/n #daemon targaryen #daemon smut #aegon targaryen #aegon smut

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soluumis · 5 months ago

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❛ and in sunlit fields, where the flowers grow tall, your sound fills the air, makes the earth feel so small. ❜

⋯ it's a musing and reflection i hesitated to write a lot. a major reason is because of how guiltriping, victim crying it sounds. but a lot is happening lately personally and there are a few things i want to get out of my chest as an attempt to finally qwell the anxiety clawing at me.

⋯ i already struggle to understand people. i had to work so hard to blend into society, to get a 'proper' job to pay my bills because i wasn't good enough to poursue studies and get a prestigious job like everyone expected me to. but it doesn't even matter. none of it matter, my efforts will always be ashes to people's eyes. and people's double standards are so destructive on me, they just shatter and tear me apart. i was raised with 'be the bigger person, be strong' standards. 'no one will help you, stop crying and get up'. i was always taught that if i don't raise my voice enough, if i'm too kind, i will be killed. but the double standards and confusion were already there as far as i can recall. of course a child left alone all day long at home would grow up to be responsible and autonomous at a early age, i suppose. but most adults around me didn't think that way. i could already see it, the disdain and disgust in their eyes the very rare times i was brave enough to hold their gazes without falling apart. 'you're just a child, you need an adult and you don't know what you're doing anyway'. be strong, but not too much; it'd be a shame to stain the ego of those older than you after all. raise your voice, but remain quiet when no one asks you. being questioned, being put against the wall and yet any words coming out of my mouth are seen as excuses and talk back.

i'm exhausted. people are exhausting. i don't know what to do, how to behave. nothing i do has the right effect. i tend to give up and let go at some point when i see the discussion leads nowhere. repeating is tiring, my words always end up as sharp blades and i don't want to keep debating something going straight into the wall either. 'you should be more stubborn', i'm already way too impulsive in my decisions. if i indulge in stubborness in top of everything, i'm doomed more than usual. i mellowed down drastically, and it's both reassuring and catastrophic as i used to —still do— destroy so much around me, but people always take more than given and it burries me. stubborness is a trait i learnt to erase as i was receiving immediate punishment for it. nowadays i mostly act that way for something i truly hold dear and even there the worry of being whiped for it lingers. people can't know about it, i need to remember it. but i selfishly wish people i hold dear would realize that difference in behavior. i barely look at someone straight in the eyes without crumbling. 'be strong, no one will help you' and yet i was beaten when i acted too strong for someone's own comfort. if i'm being stubborn then, it's because what is on the line means too much to me. more than i can let go.

i just can't understand what people expect of me, putting me against a wall but still i don't know what to say to please. i still struggle to draw a clear line between sympathy and manipulation; but my brain is stuck in a eternal 'yes / no' inferno cycle. as long as it doesn't stains others' egos. no one will help you, stop crying. if you don't speak louder they will tear you apart. what a joke. 'i've been lenient with you so you should comply now' 'stop making excuses' 'don't talk back to me'. i've been hearing those all my life and it took me years to realize why it still makes me so uncomfortable. why it's wrong. actually i never really managed to see why it was wrong. 'i was lenient' i was spared. people are kind enough to allow me so i should be more docile. 'you're making excuses' am i ? i don't know, the only thing people expect me to do is apologize and say yes. 'don't talk back to me you're being insolent' yet again being compelled, but i supposed that if i was being scolded then i was the issue. it must be. i always thought they were right. they are adults. they are older. i will always be undermined or mocked as the younger one, that's how it always worked. being told that these sentences were poison was worse than a whiplash because i have no ideas how to behave then. i had no ideas it was valid for me to be so uncomfortable with those words.

'be more stubborn' — i can't. i can't bear to be told to raise my voice and receive immediate punishment for it. 'i was lenient. be stubborn. i allowed you. you should be more docile. conceal your feelings. don't talk back. be louder. be quieter. make yourself the bigger person'. those words are clawing at me like that phantom heartache and i don't know how to get rid of them. i wish i could just be a perfect doll. trying again and again for a lifespan. the cycle always repeat itself anyway. but i'd rather ignore than calling someone out on the behavior, for my own comfort too. fueling or stirring a conflict is something that i fear the most, it claws at me worse than the anxiety coming along with it. starting a conflict in itself is past my boundaries. but my words always end up having the opposite effect. if i speak my feelings, i'm selfish. if i call out, i guiltrip. if i don't say anything, i'm dishonest. and i feel that everything i choose will always be false. there is no right answer for me to say. no matter what i make people sad, angry, uncomfy or hurt.

⋯ i wish to be braver. i miss being able to defend myself, what i truly hold dear without fear of being whiped and teared apart for it. it's actually bitter to see how much i'd rather hide than actually raise my voice like i used to before. scars remain i suppose but i wish i could ignore. my courage and strength grew into a cutting, painful knife only hurting me. and now it lays in ashes knowing they had long died. my courage has been shattered and demolished; i don't even know if trying to retrieve fragments of it will ever protect me. but if a new found resolve can finally free me from the chains struggling me for decades feeling like aeons. if i can stop fearing the whip, if i can finally unlearn the fight and flight behaviors and rest. maybe being a bit braver is something worth trying.

#musings #ad memoria #childhood traumas aren't real they say #i'm extremely anxious to post this and i might just as well disolve but we ball

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threadsun · 2 years ago

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It’s always the ones who claim to be antis interacting with people who post the stuff they claim to very against. Especially when they say ‘Dni proshippers’ but then interact and make dark content. It’s become very clear that they don’t have a set definition of what proship is they just slap it wherever to define people who make content they don’t like. They make fiction spaces online messy and frankly, dangerous when they decide to make callout posts and block lists and such. They’re so hypocritical:(((

Oh god I reblogged a post about the bullshit of proship/antiship discourse the other day. It's SOOO STUPID!!! Especially in a time where books about queer people and informative books for children about how to spot and report csa are being pulled from public libraries and banned in various places under the guise of them being "morally reprehensible" and "bad for the children."

There is no way to dictate what people can and can't write without opening the door to fascism and oppressive censorship. There's no way to make a line without risking people pushing that line until it hurts real marginalised people.

Like as a Jewish person I generally hate holocaust comparisons, but like... idk I always go back to the nazi book burnings at Die Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, and the targeted harassment of Magnus Hirschfeld. So much important information about sex, gender, and sexuality were lost and suppressed. So much important research. Important work into the normalisation of sex and desire.

It has lasting impacts even now into the field of sexology, which is still treated as either a joke or some sort of perverted fake field for creeps to use as an excuse to take advantage of people. When I studied sexology in university, so much of it always came back to the idea that censorship is inherently detrimental to sexual liberation. Which in turn my gender studies professors all agreed is necessary for queer and female liberation as well.

Like this goes so much further and deeper than fandoms and ships, and it's so reductive and pointless to turn it into a fandom debate. Especially in the current political climate around the world. And to turn it into fandom drama or even to morally posture about being proship or an anti does a huge disservice to the people fighting on the front lines of queer and sexual liberation. It harms trans people and people of colour who are being targeted through censorship.

Idk in a world where consensual kink is still illegal in most places, where queer theory and critical race theory are being censored, where sex workers and kinky folks are actively fighting tooth and nail for your right to watch porn without the government telling you what you can and can't jack off too... In a world where FOSTA/SESTA is being used to actively harm sex workers and the victims of trafficking they claim to be helping. It's just... idk it's almost actively, wilfully, maliciously ignorant to think ship discourse is important enough to harass people over. To think that censoring fandom content is useful and morally correct.

I'm not so fussed about call out posts and block lists personally cause I don't care if "queer is a slur" "no kink at pride" "if you're not vocally antiship then you're proship which means I can make up beliefs to assign to you and then send people to harass you for it" assholes try to bother me. The block button is fun to press, and I've got thick skin and an actual understanding of the real world.

But yeah, they can make internet spaces pointlessly and actively hostile to people, especially people whose mental health is already fragile. And I've heard so many definitions of proship that it's soooooo clear no one actually has a real definition of it, and just use it as shorthand for "this person is a freak who makes things I don't like, and I think that means they should be punished in the court of public opinion for it."

idk I've seen too many sex workers and transfem people and Jewish people accused of being paedophiles and perverts and "proship" for daring to not follow Christian ideas of sexual purity and morality. I've been the Jewish, transfem sex worker getting called those things. I watched a trans woman get harassed off tumblr entirely for having an armpit fetish and daring to talk about it on her own blog.

I've seen countless people who called out racist/queerphobic/transmisogynistic trends in fandom get the "proship" label slapped on them just to drive them out of fandom spaces so they could keep their bigoted headcanons. I've seen it put on people who ship two unrelated characters who happened to know each other as children because "that's basically incest." I've seen it slapped on someone who wrote about adults in a consensual relationship who happened to have a 10 year age gap (34 vs 44).

And yeah, I've seen it put on people who write paedophilic incest fanfics, which is something I personally would prefer no one ever wanted to write about. But I also acknowledge that if I try to make that an actual rule, it will eventually become corrupted into something used for the oppression of marginalised people.

I know that I shouldn't be trusted with the power to dictate the actions (and especially the thoughts) of others. I know that thoughtcrimes aren't real, and that the world is so much bigger and messier and more complicated than fandom. I know that the moment I allow myself to become pro-censorship in any capacity, I've already lost and fascism has already gained a new foothold in the world.

And most of all, I know that all art including fandom art is something the artist and the people interacting with it are both choosing to consent to. That this consent can be revoked at any time, and that no one has the right to decide what anyone else can and cannot consent to. That all fiction is a scene, not a new reality, and that the consent of the real people involved is more important than what's actually going on within the scene.

#sunshine #asks #idk man like 'are you proship or an anti' being a Required Question every fandom blog must answer #kinda reminds me of how 'are you pro-Israel or pro-Palestine' is a Required Question every Jew must answer #like I have strong opinions on both that I'll share if I feel like it (before anyone asks I don't support the colonisation of Palestine)#but I fundamentally object to the idea that I owe anyone any information about anything I believe #especially since all of my beliefs are more nuanced than a single label can express #part of me feels like I'm making no sense cause my head is full of more thoughts about this than I can physically type out #but also I feel very strongly about this #and I know that other people who feel strongly about this don't necessarily feel like they can speak about it #so I'm gonna do it because I do not give a shit about backlash

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bloodcandied · 1 year ago

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Death Addiction 亡瘾 Chapter 4

When Xu Tuo was not at home, in fact, I would secretly investigate his identity.

"Xu Tuo" was a fake identity, from beginning to end. In a waterproof bag under his bed, there were several spare sets of fake identities.

If he wanted to hide it though, he could have done so in a more difficult place. Perhaps we'd been together so long that all those initial cautions we'd had about each other had begun to dull, as if two gentle, harmless creatures living together could never feed in the same cage.

I originally thought he'd be back in a few days, but it turned out that after two weeks, it was as if the man had evaporated, and I hadn't even heard from him. I even took the risk of checking the morgue to see if there was an additional unclaimed and mysterious body out in the field.

Usually, I'd use the excuse of "rushing back to cook for my roommate" to put off the fellowship organized by the unit. These days I didn't make it back to cook, so I was immediately seized by my colleagues. Two team leaders dragged me to the car while counting me down: "Xiao Dai you are too withdrawn, too withdrawn. You're the type that young girls like nowadays, so be confident."

I don't know if they'd be surprised if I told them that not only did young girls like me, but serial killers did too.

The restaurant I was whisked away to was a Japanese barbecue place in the center of town, where people sat next to each other, and the leader of the group, who was a friend of Uncle Zhou's, tried desperately to get me to go mingle with girls.

--That was the day I met Qi Mengzhu.

Like me, he was obviously dragged here by his own coworkers, and looked out of place among a bunch of hot people. But his expression was much softer than mine. In his words, when he saw me sitting on the opposite side of the table with a sour face that day, he thought I was the one responsible for paying the bill.

In fact, it was quite surprising to meet someone like Mr. Qi at the party. He was thirty-five years old, with handsome features, well-mannered, and well-suited. And our fellowship was a joint venture, and he was the company's senior manager.

I could feel the difference in how women treated the two of us - this man appeared to be here for the purpose of dating, like a red blooded beast ready to destroy a village.

Listening to the chat across the table, his father was one of the directors of the company. Qi Mengzhu graduated from business studies in the UK, spent a few years in the overseas sector, and was transferred back to China last year, with a flawless resume, and could be said to be a veritable rich second generation.

I was a little shaken.

After staying with Xu Tuo for such a long time, suddenly meeting Qi Mengzhu, an animal destined to live in the sun from birth, made me momentarily lack a sense of reality.

In the restaurant, the smell of barbecue and the sound of chatting intertwined into a cloud of hot smoke. I sat there playing with my cell phone, and suddenly, my foot was kicked.

A few seconds later, I reacted, and realized that Mr. Xiao Qi was the one kicking me. He smiled at me, "Does your department usually have to touch corpses?"

"Probably have to." I answered simply. Like a bug in the gutter afraid of meeting dry sunlight, I instinctively moved away from him, afraid of being exposed to the sunlight.

He kicked me gently again.

"-I thought male employees in your kind of organization weren't allowed to have long hair."

I'd read the regulations carefully before I started, and all it said was that no shorts were allowed to be worn to work.

The grill in front of us was a little charred, and no one paid much attention to the grill. Qi Mengzhu wiped his hands on a hot towel and took a clip to flick the cooked vegetables to the sides, one piece of meat to the left and one to the right, holding them level from side to side.

--Towel rests, chopstick holders, seasoning plates, cell phones ...... everything on his side was neatly placed point to point, corner to corner.

"Dai Xueming," he called to me, "are you hungry?"

Qi Mengzhu used a clip to hold the meat and came over to my plate; I was still lost in thought, and my cell phone screen was displaying the interface to send a message to someone - what was Xu Tuo doing right now?

"Dai, the other Qi is talking to you." The team leader reminded me.

I looked back. The meat Qi Mengzhu was holding was dripping a string of grease, and perhaps it was an illusion, but a short flash of disgust crossed his eyes.

"I'm not hungry." I gave him a very insensitive reply, "I'm going to the restroom."

The barbecue place was booming on the weekends, but the hallway to the restroom at the back of the store wasn't devoid of people. I stood in the hallway with my cell phone, looking at the screen. The message to Xu Tuo was tinkered with many times, but in the end it didn't go out.

Someone ruffled my hair from behind, and I shuddered, jumped and turned around, looking at the person warily - it was Qi Mengzhu.

"You don't like the atmosphere either, do you?" He smiled as if he'd done nothing and withdrew his hand, "Me too. Do you want to go out for some air?"

"No need."

"You're not here to use the restroom either."

"I'll go later, I came back here to message my friend."

"What message?"

I didn't like this person.

Although Xu Tuo and I had known each other for a long time, the two of us never rushed to squeeze into each other's safe private zones. Xu Tuo was sometimes bitchy and got a little excited talking about the killing process, but I would have rather been surrounded by ten Xu Tuos right now than face this person.

--Qi Mengzhu made the warning lights go off in my mind.

I had lived with a serial killer for so long that I was able to keenly recognize when people and things were dangerous, and had an unimaginably high level of tolerance for dangerous people. Yet this man in front of me, what did he look at me like? Not like a human looking at another human, but like a snake staring at a frog.

"Are those ...... strangulation marks on your neck?" He asked.

"The neckline of the dress shirt my mother picked out for me was too tight and it left marks." That was my safe answer for the ages.

He smiled sideways, "It's strangulation from the rope."

I mentally cursed.

"Strangled by a little kid who didn't know any better while playing with the neighbor kids."

"How many answers did you have prepared?" He smiled more intensely, his eyes even brightening, "-Are you trying to kill yourself?"

There could be no more contact with him.

Someone came from the other end of the corridor, and I took the opportunity to bump him off and run back to the restaurant. Before the leader of the group could urge me to sit down, I was already carrying my bag, "Grandma doesn't seem to be feeling well, my mom told me to go home and check."

It was ten o'clock at night, and there were only a few people around the residential area. I drove into the neighborhood's underground garage, ready to park and go home.

The sound of another person's footsteps echoed in the garage in addition to mine. Because of the echoes, I had no way to tell which direction this person was going, but I just locked the car door and hurried toward the elevator.

The moment I pushed open the glass door of the elevator room, a suited figure flashed out from behind me and grabbed my shoulder.

--It was Qi Mengzhu!

The blood in my body froze, and the hand that went to push the door with force slipped on the doorknob.

"...... these are signs of hanging ......" he came up beside my neck, his voice lowered, "not strangulation---hanging from the top down ......"

"Get out!" I wanted to kick him away. Xu Tuo was sometimes guilty of giving up with by kicking him away; but I'd clearly overestimated the broad spectrum of that method - he dodged my counterattacks, which had neither speed nor strength, and wrenched both of my shoulders.

"Dai Xueming, did you try to kill yourself, but weren't able to bring yourself to do it?" A gleam of extreme excitement shone in his eyes, and it looked incredibly bizarre on this well-mannered face, "--I'll help you! Let me help you! I knew I wouldn't be wrong, you believe ......"

Before the words fell, the entire parking lot echoed with a muffled "thud".

--Qi Mengzhu collapsed. Behind him, Xu Tuo threw away the iron bucket used to wash the car in his hand, which rolled on the ground, leaving bloodstains across the floor. He'd smashed the back of Qi Mengzhu's head hard with it.

"I saw your car enter the neighborhood and wanted to go down to the parking lot to join you." With some confusion in his eyes, he kicked the ground with his toe, "Who's this? Your new boyfriend?"

I dragged him back to the house, my hand shaking with my keys as I opened the door.

"Don't worry, he'll wake up in a little while, I didn't hit him hard enough to worry that it was really your new boyfriend."

"...... He'll call the police ......"

"Won't happen. He's probably more vain than we are. I can tell at a glance if a person will call the police."

Xu Tuo dropped his travel backpack on the couch; he had just returned from a long trip and collapsed on the cushions with a long sigh of relief. I was still worried about Qi Mengzhu and stood hovering at the window.

"It's okay," He smiled bitterly, "I'm here."

"It's the fact that you're there is the trouble. Did you leave any dangerous items? Just in case, take them all and dispose of them first."

I found the waterproof bag where he hid the fake documents and took it to the kitchen gas stove to burn them all. Xu Tuo's voice came from the living room: "Your cell phone draft box has thirty-seven messages to me ...... so miss me ah? Why not send them, and only keep them in the draft box?"

"Don't play with my phone!" I rushed over and snatched it back, emptying the drafts box all together, "If the police haven't come to my door the day after tomorrow, it'll be fine ...... You'd better pray that Qi Mengzhu really won't call the police."

"You're worried about me?" He grinned as he rolled over and sat up on the couch, "Xueming, but I can leave anytime I want."

I froze, "What?"

"--I've stayed in this city for too long."

Xu Tuo once said that he rarely stayed in one place for very long. Usually only staying for a few days to a few months.

But he'd been staying here for a few years now.

I'd never bothered to find out why he stayed here. I got used to him being here.

"But I might actually have to go." He said, "Maybe next week, maybe tomorrow. I came back this time to tell you about it."

I looked at him blankly, not knowing what to say for a moment.

"You don't want me to go?" He asked.

"......"

"Can you find a reason for me not to go?" He reached out his hand and held the cell phone in my hand, "Xueming, you yourself don't realize that you're actually no different from a child, and that the person you've exchanged secrets with can put you at ease - and only a child would take the matter of exchanging secrets so seriously, so seriously that it's like exchanging wedding rings. "

He didn't open that travel bag. I knew what that meant. Not organizing the travel bag meant a new trip was coming soon.

I gripped my cell phone tightly and didn't let him pull it out of my hand.

"I know what you're trying to do." He said.

"You know?"

"In elementary school, I used to hear my classmates say, 'If you don't play with me, I'll ignore you again.'" He had a calm smile in his eyes, reflecting my somewhat distorted complexion, "...... If I don't play with you, will you call the police?"

"......You want to try and find out?" I took half a step back, hiding my cell phone behind me.

His eyes narrowed slightly, "Stop it."

After a few seconds of silence, I sighed.

"-I'm kidding." I said, "Just leave if you want to, and remember to pay this month's rent."

He shrugged his shoulders and leaned back on the couch, "I was worried......"

--The instant those words fell, he leapt off the couch at me.

It was so fast that although I was on guard, my body couldn't keep up with the reaction and I was knocked down by the neck.

The cell phone fell out and the screen lit up, displaying the interface to send a message to Uncle Zhou.

Xu Tuo stepped on my chest and picked up the phone from the floor, he lifted the coffee table upwards a little bit and shoved my phone under the table's foot. Then the coffee table landed heavily, the table legs crushing it to pieces.

"The house play is over, Xueming" He looked down at me, and I couldn't read his expression because of the backlighting, "There's no way I can leave you alone. I'm going to have to kill you and your mom downstairs before I can leave in peace."

He dragged me into the bedroom and took the rope out of the drawer and wrapped it around my neck, then opened the window and secured the other end to the shelf of the air conditioner's outer box, just like he had done to himself that one time. Xu Tuo dragged me to the window sill, tidied my forehead hair wet with cold sweat, and slowly tightened the rope.

"Have ...... you ever thought about doing this before?" I asked softly.

He nodded. The man's expression softened again in the moonlight.

"Fifty fifty chance you'll survive" He said.

Xu Tuo gave me one last hug, patting my back gently like putting a child to sleep. Half of my body was already outside the window, and at any moment he could let go and be the moment the roller coaster went down.

"If ......" I didn't reach out to pull him back. I knew that as soon as I made the move to try and tug him back, he would instantly slam me out the window, "What if I had something to keep you here?"

Xu Tuo didn't answer, continuing to soothe me, patting me on the back.

"Someone is constantly preying on young women, disguised as suicide by hanging. This month, there were three cases in this district, and over the past six months, there have probably been more than twenty in the city."

At my words, his movements stopped. My breathing stopped with them, wondering if the next moment would usher in a downward spiral.

Then I heard his voice.

"--How did you know?"

"...... I saw the photos in our database ...... Cases that end in suicide are rarely sent to us. I saw a case that said the rope the victim used to hang herself was very special, so my colleague made a trace entry in passing ...... I've since gone to the city's archives to look for it, and this particular rope trace appeared in other suicide cases."

"How special?"

I looked into his eyes, which twitched a little and turned downward.

I said, "It's just like the rope mark on my neck, a mark caused by a high yardage German climbing rope."

Xu Tuo smiled at me. I rarely smiled, but at the moment, for some reason, I smiled back at him.

Immediately after, I was pushed off the ledge and fell out the window.

To be continued

#death addiction mtl #death addiction

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