#and if you dont chase a certain career path or excel in certain subjects then you're deemed inherently lesser
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the boys' first commentary on keating's lessons being cameron and neil saying 'that was weird' / 'but different' is getting to me like the entire film is a narrative on the suffocation of heavy academia and how it prioritises certain subjects (medicine, law, business, engineering) while condemning creativity and passion and how institutions are promoting conformity and grades-over-wellbeing teaching methods more and more as you both move up the elitism scale and as time goes on, and how that was okay for these kids and like so many generations before them they were going to let it happen to them, but one teacher was different. one single teacher told them to seize the day and make their lives extraordinary and he made them look directly at the state of things, and for a little while it was beautiful but they're just kids; how could they ever change things? and sure enough it catches up to them and the institution wins because it always does and suddenly the suffocating thought of what neil is so sure his life is going to be is so daunting and terrifying that he cant even face it
#he's just like me fr just without the gun#like yeah the world is actually a harrowing monotonous place and my generation is the last one to play outside as children#and if you dont chase a certain career path or excel in certain subjects then you're deemed inherently lesser#and your success is measured by your bank account and there is no warmth#like damn this film realeased in the 80s and set in the 50s had no business capturing the terror of being young in our society so perfectly#the ONLY saving grace is the 'o captain my captain' scene at the end#it's proof that the beautiful passion-filled independent lives the boys dreamed about#dont just become food for worms and we dont just go right back to the beginning#there's hope at least even if half the time im too busy BAWLING MY FUCKING EYES OUT to even see the screen at that point#godddd girl watching this doing an 'academic subject' that you despise and on bad days think might be the thing to beat you#but you do it anyway bc you're stuck now and besides your parents kinda made you do it when all you ever wanted to do was write#but that cant happen bc writing isnt 'good' the way economics is 'good' and maybe#maybe all that'll happen is i'll lose and start a career in business and work an office job for two decades#in a world that's melting and owned by corporations that want to bleed me dry#maybe that's all there is#i need a fucking cigarette#dps
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