#and if they're not good are they to be seen as less valuable? less lovable?
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#random personal stuff#back on my soapbox feel free to ignore#the phrase 'good baby' has come up lately#and I find it odd because#well of course they're a good baby! all babies are good why would you say otherwise#but it really means that they're easy and convenient and don't cry (much) or have sleeping problems#which is further odd because why are we placing moral value on how easy the child is#because the use of 'good baby' implies that some babies aren't 'good'#that they're 'bad'#that if they're fussy or struggling with something they're not good#and if they're not good are they to be seen as less valuable? less lovable?#heaven forbid a tiny human have big inconvenient emotions! no one wants to deal with that!#and that attitude toward them can bleed over into how we continue to see the child as they grow#(speaking from experience here: I was a 'bad baby' who cried too much and kept my mom up too late#and then a Crying Child and a Crying Teenager who was Too Much and had something wrong with me#and I've been trying to atone for it ever since)#(I know I wasn't really bad but the Perception remains)#anyway if we mean that a child is easy/easygoing let's just say so#without a moral label#the more difficult babies may be more effort#but they're still good#because they're (or SHOULD BE) loved#and when you love someone they're worth the difficulty
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