#and if the ending doesn't make sense reader is fully expecting to have a broken bone by the end of the evening

[hotchnerwrites]

can you do toji? Like where he comes back home to see you but your gone and he would start to panic because he doesn't know where you are and wondering if you left him and the reader left to go shopping for groceries and we wrote a note for him and telling him we was leaving to shop but he forgot and thought we left him Completely until we returned to the house with groceries and Toji on the floor crying? 😼 I hope this makes sense this is my first time requesting this 😊

Running Errands, Not Away

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: SFW fic, sad pathetic Toji, established relationship, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, domestic fluff, panic attack, a couple of swear words

A/N: Thank you so much for your request @sleepypulm ! You were the first to ask so I'm extra grateful to you <3. I got a little carried away and I didn't expect to write so much haha. I tried to do both Toji and reader POV. I hope my illustration of his panic was atleast a little realistic, going off my own experiences. I really hope you like it!

(image found on Pinterest)

Toji Fushiguro fears nothing. Why should he? He is the infamous Sorcerer Killer, after all. Sure, he doesn’t have any cursed energy. But that never stopped him, in fact even the Time Vessel Association begged for his help. He has hunted many and beaten more. Nothing ever gets in his way. But then he meets you. It’s as if the deeds of his past melt away in your wake, and his sins lay forgiven. The heaviness he carried within him seems insignificant now. You somehow brought back warmth and colour in his life. Sometimes Toji lies awake at night wondering what he did to deserve you. He never figured out why you loved him. He could barely express himself emotionally. He was a broken man from the inside and he had done everything wrong to fix that- gambling, killing, shady deals. Yet you never begrudged him of his shortcomings. All you did was love him. Quietly and loudly, through actions and words, in public and in private. You introduced him to all your friends, dragged him along to Sunday brunches and even made those stupid little sandwiches for picnics in the park. He’d never tell you that he actually loved those sandwiches, despite his protests, each and every flavour.

Which is why this hurt. Worse than when he had almost been gutted trying to take out some Grade 2 sorcerer. Worse than having shards of glass shoved down his throat. Worse than anything Toji had felt before in his miserable life. He had come home after a long day and was looking forward to sleep, you, a cold compress, and food. Not necessarily in that order. The keys jangled in his large hands as he pushed the door open. He called your name - once, twice, thrice. 

That’s odd. No answer. 

You always fling yourself at him like you hadn’t seen him in days every evening when he got home. You’d talk his ear off about your day and steer him to the couch while you asked about his. He had gotten used to this routine and after an initial few days of sulking, he had even leaned into it. But there was only pin-drop silence today. Worry blooms in his chest. Toji tried to tamp it down as he slid his bag off his shoulders. Maybe you were just taking a nap and hadn’t heard him. Or you were in the shower. Yes- that had to be it. Why else wouldn’t you answer him? Unless…

Toji stalks towards the closest door - the study - and flings it open. Nothing but darkness. Obviously unused, he shuts the door and takes off towards the bathroom. He didn’t even bother with the kitchen, the lights were off and only the fridge hummed gently. Nothing in the bathroom either. Toji’s heart was pounding now. That only left the bedroom, and he wasn’t liking his odds. He could see no light coming from underneath the door, but maybe that didn’t mean anything because, of course, you’d turn the lights off when sleeping… right? No such luck. Panic gripped him fully. Toji slowly makes his way over to the bed. The mattress bows under his weight. He can’t stop himself spiralling now. 

You’re just late, that’s all. Probably traffic, work’s been crazy. You’re not the kind to just… leave. You wouldn’t do that, not to Toji. The fight you had last week over taking a trip abroad seems so inane now. Surely that wasn’t the reason. People argue, it’s normal. Maybe you’re at your mom’s. You’ll text him, or call him, or something. You probably just needed some space. Yep, that’s it. That has to be it. 

The silence in the house suddenly becomes suffocating. It pushes its way into his lungs and threatens to take over his senses. Is this what a panic attack feels like? Toji tries to breathe. It’s the first thing they taught him, even before he lifted a weapon. 

Breathe, control your body, control your mind. Panic helps no one, it only disrupts concentration. 

Well, fuck that, Toji thinks. None of his training mattered now. Not when- not when you were just gone. Toji checks his phone one last time. His wallpaper- the picture he took of you laughing after he fell on his ass in the snow- seems to mock him now. Nothing in his messages and nothing in his calls.

You’re gone and it’s my fault, Toji thinks. 

His breathing speeds up. He feels the weight of it all now like it’s crushing his chest. He slips off the edge of the bed, his wide shoulders shaking. His face feels wet and warm- Toji can’t even remember the last time he cried, not like this. His body heaves and his mind betrays him further- What did I do? What did I say? What did I not say? And then it comes down on him, all at once. The sobs he’s been choking down, his denial turning into sharp-edged grief. It feels like he’s stepped into some kind of quicksand and he’s drowning in the absence you’ve left behind. He doesn’t even try to stop it anymore. For once in his life, Toji lets himself feel.

------------------

You hum in tune to the music blasting in your ears. Balancing a checklist in one hand and a shopping basket in another, you take a final sweep of the grocery store and confirm that you’ve gotten everything. It’s your second anniversary with Toji. Last year, you both decided to go to the fair like a couple of lovestruck teenagers and shared a slice of cake (black forest with cherries on top, Toji’s favourite) to commemorate the event. This year, you decided to surprise Toji with a home-cooked two-course dinner. The menu consisted of lobsters on pasta and black forest cake. After paying for the groceries and bidding the cashier a good night, you drive home in the quiet evening. The orange of the streetlamps cast a magical glow on the streets and you marvel at the calm in the neighbourhood. A peaceful night in, you conclude. 

You grab the paper bags and head to your shared apartment. The keys jiggle in the lock and the door creaks open softly. You slip inside and kick your shoes off. The clock on the mantle tells you that you had accidentally stayed out later than planned so you hurry to the kitchen and begin setting things up. As you haul the fridge door open, you hear it. You freeze in place. Was that… a sniffle? Confusion floods your mind. As you cast a glance towards the door, you note Toji’s bag next to the shoe rack. He’s home already? But that means… was that Toji crying? You’re utterly baffled now. Following the source of the noise, you head to the bedroom. 

“Toji?” Your voice is soft but it seems to echo in the stillness. You take another step forward and scan the room. And then you see him- on the floor at the edge of the bed, hunched over, his muscular frame shaking. Your heart twists. You flick the lamp switch on and take cautious steps in his direction. 

“Toji,” you call again, firmer but still gentle. He doesn’t respond, doesn’t even look up. He’s clearly in distress, although you don’t know why. His breathing is uneven and he doesn’t move. A sharp spike of fear courses through you, but you ignore it as you kneel beside him, placing a careful palm on the flat expanse of his back. 

“Hey,” you whisper, struggling to keep your voice steady. “What’s wrong, honey? What happened?”

Toji flinches at your touch and finally looks up. His eyes were lined with red and full of something you couldn’t place- Guilt? Despair? He stares at you for a long moment, as if he’s never seen you before. Your worry increases. You’ve never seen Toji cry. Ever. You can feel your heart breaking. Something must be seriously wrong and you open your mouth to ask him again but he interrupts.

“You—” he croaked, his voice raw from what you assume was hours of crying, “You came back.”

You’re even more confused now but you’re slowly piecing it together. “Toji,” you say firmly, wiping the tear tracks away from his face, “I didn’t leave, you silly man. I went out for groceries. Have you forgotten what day it is today?”

He shakes his head and his breath catches again- it’s like he doesn’t believe you, or won’t. You don’t know what’s worse. 

“I thought,” his voice cracks, “I thought you were gone. That my past, the things I did… I thought you had had enough. That I—,” You don’t let him finish as you pull him towards you, arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders. You feel Toji sag against you. His large hands come up slowly, and he clings to you as if you’d vanish if he let go.

You stroke his hair gently and murmur into it, “I’m here, Toji. I’m not going anywhere. I love you. I see you for who you are, and you can’t scare me off, I promise.”

“You didn’t call, you didn’t text… I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend, I know you deserve better than someone like me and I just thought that you’d.. found someone or something better, and that you’d just left me and I wouldn’t blame you but—”

“Toji, stop,” you command. Your heart aches. You had no idea he still had these insecurities and you feel guilt creep in that you haven’t been able to assure him otherwise. “Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not true, all right? I’m not leaving you. I’d never do that. I love you and we’re in this forever, okay?”

He doesn’t respond so you you just hold him tighter, hoping that your embrace conveys the reassurance your words can’t.

“Toji, I left you a note. You didn’t check the kitchen, did you? I thought that’s where you’d go for a snack after a long day, which is why I left you the note on the counter saying I’d be out for groceries. Oh, you big fool, Toji,” you’re scolding him now, “All you had to do was take two steps into the kitchen. I had to run out for groceries, it’s our anniversary tonight!”

Toji’s stiffens in realisation and he pulls back slightly. Embarrassment flits across his handsome features and he wipes a large paw across his face as if to scrub away traces of the panic that had gripped him earlier.

“Anniversary, huh?” He grumbles now, almost sheepish. “You.. uh.. just getting groceries? I thought—”

You laugh, feeling relief wash away your fears. Of all the times he’d called you melodramatic, it turns out he was the drama queen. You’re grinning now, “I wasn’t leaving you. I’ve been planning our anniversary dinner for weeks! I guess I’ve got to make it up to you now.”

Toji’s face turns a shade of red you’ve never seen before and you lean in to plant a kiss on his downturned mouth. He sighs, but he’s not angry; just embarrassed at himself for not taking a second to consider other logical conclusions. A small giggle escapes you as you watch him pull himself back together.

“I… I’m sorry.” He says it quietly, his eyes cast downward. “I just… I didn’t know, and I freaked out, and I thought maybe... I don’t know... you were done with me.”

You soften at his words, brushing his hair back from his forehead gently before cupping his face in your hands, making him meet your eyes. You run your thumb over the faint white scar across his lips.

“Toji,” you say, your voice tender. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me, all right? I don’t care how much you think you mess up or how much you doubt yourself. I love you, and that’s not changing.”

His expression starts to shift as he takes in your words, the tension in his body easing slightly, but his eyes are still filled with uncertainty. “You really mean that?”

“I really mean it,” you reply, your smile softer now. “And as for tonight—let’s just forget about the grocery disaster and make it special anyway, yeah? We’ll laugh about this in a few years. How a big lump like you panicked and cried instead of taking the time to read a piece of paper.”

He chuckles, his hand coming up to gently grip yours as if holding on to that reassurance a little tighter, a smile slowly breaking through the wall of his insecurity.

“Yeah,” he murmurs, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “I guess we will.”

thank you for reading! i appreciate any feedback. likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated. my requests are open. do not plagiarise my work and/or repost it anywhere without crediting me.

[runforthehillsbestie]

Broken Lullaby

Part 2 - you must follow the rules

Pairing - Brahms Heelshire x f reader Read the story context and warnings here

Sleeping in a strange bed always takes some getting used to. You wake up early and just can't fall asleep again, so you put a robe on and head downstairs for a cup of coffee. The air inside the house is close and stuffy. You discovered yesterday that none of the windows open--at least none that you've tried. The kitchen has a back door with a screen, so you open that to let some fresh air into the house. You take your coffee to the porch and curl up on the porch swing.

The grass sparkles with dew in the early morning light and tiny birds flit from one heavy stalk of seeds to another, chirping brightly while a large butterfly rests on the petals of a daisy. The countryside is so beautiful compared to the narrow streets and shoebox houses you're used to and the outside air has to be the cleanest and most crisp air you've ever had the privilege of breathing in. Your roommate is right, this place is exactly what you need right now.

You've just finished your coffee when you see Thorton stepping through the gates at the end of the driveway with a handful of mail. The wind blows his white hair in every direction as he comes up to the house.

"Morning!" You call out, and he jumps. "Sorry."

"Not at all. I simply wasn't expecting you to be up already." He pauses at the top of the stairs and looks you over. "Bit chilly for that, don't you think?" He says it casually enough, although he looks a little uncomfortable, gazing past you at the house.

Of course! You forgot that you're still in a nightie that only falls to mid-thigh. It's a little skimpy but so silky and comfortable that it's quickly become your favorite nightwear. The coffee must have been warming you up because now that he's mentioned it, you're covered in goosebumps.

"We wouldn't want you to catch a cold," he adds kindly.

You stand. "I'll change and we can jump right into... Whatever we have to do today."

Thorton slips his hands into his overcoat and nods, once again looking past you towards the house. Ah well. People get a little odd when they get old. You shrug mentally and go to change into some casual clothes.

On your way back downstairs you notice the door to Brahms's bedroom is cracked open. You pull it closed, wondering if time has warped all the doors in the house so they don't close fully. You find Thorton in the drawing room in front of a large mirror hanging on the wall. His hands are tucked behind his back and he appears to be looking past himself, lost in his thoughts.

"Mr. Thorton, any idea when Brahms will be here? I was thinking I could bake some cookies to welcome him. In my experience, those usually win kids over."

"Do you have children of your own?" Thorton asks.

"No, but I did a lot of babysitting as a teenager. I think I've earned my stripes."

"Hmmm. I've been trying to think of a way to tell you an important piece of information and I've come to the conclusion that it's best I simply show you. That is what the Heelshires suggested."

"Um, okay?"

"Do you see that doll?" Thorton points to an armchair.

It's the doll from Brahms's bedroom, wearing a neat button-down and pants with a belt.

"You changed his clothes," you murmur.

"So I see you've already met him!" Thorton says cheerily.

You arch an eyebrow, waiting for him to start making sense. Thorton walks over and puts his hands on the doll's shoulders. "This is Brahms Heelshire."

You can't help but giggle because it has to be a joke. Thorton doesn't join in on it. He purses his lips and raises his eyebrows as if to say, I'm being deadly serious.

"Um, I don't think I understand." You look at the somber, cracked face of the doll, then back at the groundskeeper. "Why is someone being hired to babysit a doll?"

"That is where the showing part comes in. The traps need checking, so we can kill two birds with one stone, as they say." He raises his voice suddenly and asks if you would be so kind as to take Brahms along.

You laugh again because the idea is so absurd that you can't help but think he has to be joking this time. Thorton sighs.

"I know it must seem strange to you, but I assure you, it is necessary."

He looks so tired all of a sudden that you feel bad.

"Hell, why not?" You lift the doll, surprised to feel the heaviness of it. It must be weighted to make it feel more real.

You prop the doll against your hip. "Please, lead the way."

He takes you around the house where the garden grows wild and charming in its partial neglect. Vines wind around statues and tufts of grass grow in the cracks of the flagstone path. A large fountain stands dry in the center, holding nothing but a bunch of leaves at the bottom. There's also a small shed where Thorton pauses to grab a pair of gardening gloves and a large black plastic bag.

"Mrs. Heelshire is convinced the rats will get in the walls of the manor," he says as he wiggles the gloves on. "I suggested getting a cat but Brahms isn't fond of animals."

You peer at the doll you're carrying. It's just a doll, is what you want to say but you don't. Thorton said he wanted to show you something and he hasn't yet, so maybe it'll all make sense in a minute. You follow him to a few key points around the garden where the traps have been placed. They are crude and handmade and every single one has a dead rat inside, frozen stiff from the cold. As Thorton shakes a rat out of one of the traps you notice the initials "BH" carved into the wooden side.

"Brahms Heelshire?" You point at it.

"Could be," Thorton replies. "I've never noticed that. Well spotted."

Once he's emptied all the traps he ties the bag off and sets it by the shed. "I'll dispose of that when I leave," he says. "Follow me."

You trail after him until you come to a stop in the wild grass. There's a worn tombstone in front of you with Brahms 1983-1991 inscribed on it.

"He's--" You glance at Thorton and your voice softens. "He's dead."

"It was a house fire. Mr. and Mrs. Heelshire managed to get out but Brahms was trapped in his bedroom. When all was said and done there wasn't even a body to recover."

"That's terrible." You hold the doll close, imagining how it must have been to lose their child so horrifically. It sends a shudder down your spine.

Thorton glances over his shoulder at the manor. "The house has been extensively renovated since, but those memories will linger forever. I can say with confidence that this doll has helped the Heelshires in a time of great pain. You can understand somewhat, I hope?"

"Yes."

While you don't think getting obsessed with a porcelain lookalike of their son is the way to go, knowing the reason behind it makes you feel better. The Heelshires aren't a crazy couple, they're just grieving parents. Parents who have been mourning their son's death deeply for decades. You look at the tombstone again.

"He would've been in his thirties," you whisper.

Thorton clears his throat. "There is one more thing you'll need to fulfill your duties." He removes a folded sheet of paper from his coat pocket. "Here is a list of rules Mrs. Heelshire typed out for you. You will need to follow them to the letter. It's very important you do."

You take the paper and skim the contents. There are ten rules. "Read a bedtime story?" Your voice comes out a little squeaky. "Kiss goodnight... I'm supposed to kiss the doll?"

Thorton stares at you for so long that you wonder if you've said something wrong. Finally, he blinks and looks away, running a hand through his thinning hair.

It takes a few more moments before he says, "It'll make the Heelshires very happy. It's all they're asking for."

What they want borders on ridiculous, but you don't want to be an asshole, so you simply nod.

It's just for a month, you think to yourself. And besides, unless Thorton is around I don't have an obligation to do anything since no one will be checking in.

You look at the paper again. "No guests?"

Thorton shakes his head. "No, none at all."

"Do the Heelshires follow this list as well?"

"Indeed."

"Really?" You frown. "They never have guests over? What about family? Or on the holidays?"

"The Heelshire manor has never been a social place," Thorton shrugs.

"But you're here."

"I work here. I suppose I am the exception, and even I am always in a hurry to leave as soon as I can." He laughs faintly and rubs his hands together. "Goodness me, it's very cold today. What say we go inside?"

You're grateful for the suggestion because while the doll isn't very heavy, the weight definitely wears on you. You put the kettle on. You're not surprised when Thorton gently but strongly advises you to stay on the property over a cup of tea, explaining that he'll bring your payment and the groceries by once a week and you can write down anything you want him to buy. You don't mind the solitude since it's all the more opportunity to get some good writing done.

While the lack of cell reception means your editor will be unable to reach you, it doesn't mean you can slack off. You still have several deadlines you need to meet. After reminding you once more that he'll stop by once a week to deliver groceries or manage repairs, Thorton bids you farewell and leaves. The silence closes in, though your mind is loud with your thoughts. You glance at the doll which is propped up on a kitchen chair.

"You lucky bastard," you murmur. "You get way more attention than I ever did as a child, and I'm still alive."

The doll just stares back woodenly.

Your head is pounding. You pull your glasses off and set them down with a groan, rubbing your aching temples. You've been writing for--you check the grandfather clock in the corner--two hours. You can tell when a headache is about to get especially bad and this one is promising misery beyond human comprehension. Maybe you should've stopped writing earlier, but it can't be helped now. At least you can medicate. As you toss a blanket around your shoulders and stand to get some painkillers from your purse hanging at the foot of the bed, you spot the list of rules lying on the desk. You scoff as you look it over.

"There's no way I'm reading aloud. I haven't done that since grade school and I'm not about to begin now," you mutter.

Number six says to "play music loud" which isn't a bad idea. That you can do. After washing the medicine down with a glass of water from the kitchen you trail to the drawing room and put some music on the record player. You have no idea how loud it has to be so you make it loud enough to fill the house with sound, so you don't feel like you have ghosts breathing down your back in the quiet. You turn and spot the damn doll perched on the couch. You're pretty sure you left him in the kitchen earlier, but maybe Thorton put him in here to remind you to follow the rules. Or had he already left by then?

Thinking about it only makes your head hurt more, so you relocate the doll to a chair and claim the couch for yourself. The cool leather upholstery makes you shiver. Thorton had mentioned that the fireplaces were not to be used and he said it with enough passion that you wondered if that was how the house burned down all those years ago. It's not like you know how to build a fire anyway, so your blanket will have to do. You pull the blanket tight around you and drift off into sleep as the painkillers begin to work their magic.

You dream that everywhere you go the doll just so happens to be at your side and as much as you hate it, nobody else seems to think anything is wrong. All they say is Poor Brahms, you're all he has, it would be cruel to take that away from him.

You wake up to the sound of your name being called in the distance. It takes a few moments for you to realize there's someone at the door, rapping on the wood.

"Just a minute!" You hop up and trail to the door with the blanket hugging your shoulders.

Through the frosted glass window, you can make out pops of familiar bright colors. It's... Your roommate?

"Alex! Hi!" You unlock the door and pull it open. "Sorry, I was asleep--"

"I know." They give you a quick hug and step inside, taking off their colorful jacket. "When you didn't answer I went around the house and spotted you through the window. You were dead asleep."

You smooth a hand over your messy hair. "Wait, how come you're here?"

"Ah, my Gran had a bit of a bad fall, so I went to visit and thought I'd come around as it's quite close, or so I thought! I got lost twice while trying to find my way here."

"I know it's only been a day but it's nice to see a familiar face. Thanks for stopping by."

They jam their hands into their pockets and whistle, looking around. "This place is fucking massive, isn't it? Want to give me a tour?"

"Sure," you grin.

As you do, the story of the Heelshires gradually comes out. Your friend gasps.

"Bollocks, so it's true! My Gran never liked talking about them but she's been a sour hag since I was little. Didn't figure she had a real reason."

"What do you mean?" You ask as you start back towards the stairs to go down to the kitchen.

They pause to look at the large portrait of the Heelshires. "My Gran got drunk at a party some years back and started talking about how the Heelshire boy had killed a girl he used to play with, and Mr. and Mrs. Heelshire set that fire on purpose to hide the evidence. Except the boy got trapped in the fire and died, didn't he?"

"Thorton didn't tell me that part," you frown.

"Bah, it's old gossip. The police investigation didn't go anywhere, so who's to say what really happened?" Alex shrugs and slides down the banister with a whoop.

You shake your head with fake disappointment.

"I've always wanted to do that," they say. "At my house, the banister was much too thin."

You step into the kitchen. "What do you think about some cookies? I've got all the ingredients."

"Why not? There's fuck all to do here," they drawl, wandering out of the kitchen, their voice fading as they walk around. "No reception, no TV, no internet. It's like this place is frozen in time."

"At least I have nothing to distract me from writing," you reply, taking out a mixing bowl and some measuring cups.

There's a bag of flour in the cupboard. There are no chocolate chips, though you weren't expecting there to be any. You find a bar of Belgian chocolate as a substitute. Alex comes back in toting the doll.

"Careful with Brahms," you say absentmindedly, putting some butter in a pan to melt.

"They even named the doll after him. That's massively disturbing," they say, looking at it. "Say, why is it all cracked up? Did you drop it?"

"Thankfully that wasn't me," you say.

"Hello, my name is Brahms," your friend says in an exaggerated, high-pitched voice, making the doll wave. "And I'm a real boy!"

You laugh. "Put him down and grab some wine, will you?"

"Good god, look at this selection!" They crow a minute later from the pantry. "I think I'm jealous. Creepy doll aside, this is all really nice."

They pour the wine and fix a charcuterie board of cheese and crackers and spicy sausage that you snack on while you form the cookies and slide the tray into the oven. You talk and laugh and get drunk and almost burn your tongue on the cookies when they come out half an hour later, warm and deliciously sweet.

"Mmph," Alex groans sometime later, groggily lifting their head from the kitchen table. "I had a bit too much wine, I think."

You glance outside. The sun set some time ago and you can see storm clouds overhead as lightning flashes through the sky, followed by a faint rumble of thunder.

"How did you get here?" You ask.

"With my trusty bicycle. I've had that thing for years and it hasn't failed me yet."

"Well, I'm not letting you ride back home like this. Besides, it's going to rain any minute."

They snort. "You sure it's okay? We'll be breaking the first rule, you know. No guests."

"I'll smuggle you out first thing in the morning. Thorton will never know," you assure them.

"But the ghost of Brahms will," they snicker.

"Then it's a good thing I don't believe in ghosts," you say.

"Well, neither do I."

"Then it's settled."

"I'll sleep on the couch," they say.

"Are you sure? There's a guest bedroom."

"Nah, I have a thing against sleeping in a bed that isn't mine. Bad luck and all that."

"Okay. You're welcome to take a shower though," you say.

"I think I'll just sleep. All those laps I made trying to find this place are catching up to me, I think," they reply, a little flushed from the wine.

You tidy up the kitchen and put the remaining cookies in a sealed container, leaving that on the counter for tomorrow. You make sure Alex is comfortable (they've already passed out) before you head upstairs. Your second day comes to an end as you do your night routine and get into bed. It begins to rain and the sound of raindrops pattering against the windows lulls you to sleep.

The next day you wake up to the smell of chocolate chip cookies. Confused, you sit up and rub your eyes with a yawn. And then you notice that the sheets are covered in cookie crumbs and smudges of melted chocolate.

"What the fuck?" You frown.

As you move to get off the bed something crinkles. It's the list of rules. Someone has written on it with a red pen, underlining "no guests" multiple times. The rest of the paper is covered in the words You must follow the rules over and over again, angrily scratched into the paper and overlapping in some places. You leap off the bed and race downstairs. Alex is on the couch, limbs akimbo, snoring peacefully. You shake them awake.

"Please tell me you did this as a prank. You thought it would be funny, right?" You beg, waving the paper.

"Christ, what are you blathering on about?" They croak and blink sleepily, and you just know they didn't do it.

You swallow hard. "Alex, I think there's someone in the house," you whisper.

Part 3 - savior of my dreams

@runforthehillsbestie

[grimpath]

Mel x angel!You

• Based on the assumption that Mel is a nephilim (angel x human hybrid). • I rely on the theory that angels, as they are presented in the show, are just starving for being prayed to and believed in, so they behave as insentient creatures. • I also consider reader an anthropomorphic kind of angel, close to a kind of Mother of Angels.

— of course you know who she is. and you also know what she is expected to do.

— exactly, expected, not destined. it's a common misconception of denizens. even though everything is clear in the prophecy, they choose to expect the worst.

— many of your kind decided to eschew the Lost Paradise and stick to the Virtues instead. but you decided to join those who are... below.

— you've found her right away. it wasn't even fully your will. it's just what an angel can do — sense humans, even half-breed ones. especially half-breed ones. you can smell humans as sharks can smell blood.

— observing her relationships with her called father, you note that a favorable outcome is likely for rotlings, despite their common belief.

— you don't blame Ken for stealing Mel from Virtue's porcelain hands. he deserved his place in the prophecy. she deserved to be treated like that. loved. cared for.

— despite any precautions, you got caught. by Mel herself. lucky for you, Ken wasn't around at the moment. or he would end you right away. there wouldn't be a feather left of you.

— you see why The Mother calls her foolish. she's putting herself in much danger with enviable regularity.

— but then... something has broken in you. of realization that you are attracted to her. not in the guardian manner as it is supposed to be. as you expected it to be. as you thought it actually was. oh, no... it is caused by the same feeling that led your fellow angels to create families with humans long ago.

— you tried to leave, to separate yourself immediately. but just could not force yourself to. to top it off, Mel completely refused to let you go. and not only because it's imprudent to leave a witness. she seems to be solidly occupied with you, since everyone around her is pretty much the same and she has to avoid them.

— Ken didn't help the situation by cementing every other love interest of hers. and now your obsession is only deepening its roots...

— it's morbidly wrong. you're making the same mistake that led to numerous deaths of innocents. you were taught to despise those who tied knots with humans. and now you wish to become one of them.

— you protect Mel like Cerberus. and not only because you are the guardian. you both have black blood. that's a perfect coverup that deflects any arising suspicions towards her.

— your immortal body doesn't demand any rest. but Mel's does, so you keep her in embrace the entire night. your whole self trembles when she clings to your soft feathers. everything about her makes you too emotional.

— those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. the Mother of Angels has proclaimed Mel blind, but the only sightless one is her own self.

[kaiparker-avengerssmut]

Their Doll 5

Throw a punch

B.Barnes x Reader, S.Rogers x Stark!Reader

series synopsis:  y/n Stark, all records of her non existent, and yet Hydra still find her. When she is kidnapped by a certain super-soldier and no one believes her, she finds herself searching for unexpected familiarity in her not-so-distant past.

Series Warnings: smut, violence, torture, swearing

Chapter Summary: y/n finally beats Bucky, he has a surprise for her when she returns from her first mission.

Warnings: smut, violence, mention of death/murder

A/n: The timeline in this has been altered, as there I things I wanted to include but I also wanted this fic to follow the storyline/timeline of Winter Soldier and Civil war.So for purposes of this fanfic, Peter Parker was discovered by Tony at a much younger age - when he was bitten - and has been an intern with him since, almost like a protégée.(For the purposes of this story Peter was bitten much younger too - more like when he was 9 or ten rather than 14/15)

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

3 years. 3 godforsaken, bloody torturous years. That's how long I'd been in this hell hole. How long I'd been repeatedly beaten up by my only form of solace daily. How long I'd been whipped for simply not being good enough to beat a super soldier. How long I'd endured endless torture. And today, today is the day that it will all end.

If there was one thing the last three years taught me, is that I should duck and run rather than throw a punch. At least that's what I thought, and I'd never really been willing to risk a broken jaw to prove my theory. That is, until today.

Come on, y/n, you can do this. The words were repeated in my mind, my own mantra, in order to psych myself up for what I was about to do. There was a fire grip on my arm - arguably much tighter than necessary - as the guards dragged my down the hollow hall to my training session with the Winter Soldier. Pft, more like two hours of humiliation and a sore ass, I though, a little smirk spreading on my lips at my own joke.

"What're you laughing about? Something funny, Stark?" The guard who had the grip on my arm spat through gritted teeth and the smirk was instantly ripped from my lips, instead reverting back to the hard expression I had been trying to maintain while around anyone who worked for HYDRA.

So basically everyone.

We walked in silence the rest of the way, like normal, and the guard roughly shoved my into the room by a hand between my shoulder blades, like normal. But today wasn't like normal - no, today was the day I was the one to throw a punch.

They removed the silencer from my head and let me take a gulp of water before The General was barking the order for us to begin.

I walked into the centre of the room, shoulders back and stare cold. The soldier's gaze matched mine as his cerulean eyes bore into my own, his jaw clenched and hands already curling into fists as I stood before him. We maintained the stare for a moment - almost as if the other was waiting for the other to make the first move, an open opportunity to take the win.

And so I did.

Using the speed I'd worked up to over time, I farted towards the soldier, ducking on a seconds notice as his metal fist flew out. I landed a jab to his stomach, one hard enough to make him cough slightly with the knocked up air but far from hard enough to actually make him stumble. Distracted, he barely noticed me as I slipped under him - through his legs out by his back, which I was quick to jump on. I let my legs wrap around his muscular waist and my left arm wrap around his throat, making the soldier grit his teeth and attempt to pry my arm away from his neck as he began to choke.

When he attempted to fling my forward, I tangled my right fist into his brown locks, yanking painfully and making the soldier cry out as I lowered my lips to his ear. Another thing I'd learnt in the past three years is that the soldier was only affected by my powers under two conditions:

One, he was off-guard or vulnerable - hence the choking - and two, I was as close to him as I could possibly get.

I began to him a soft tune - one I had discovered was most effective in lowering my opponent's defence and lulling them into a false sense of security. I practically smirked irksomely when I sensed his eyes rolling back in defeat and his assault on my arm falter - body falling limp and relaxed under the quell of my voice.

When I was sure I'd lowered his defences enough, I slowly climbed down from his back and admired my handy-work.

The Winter Soldier, stood dopey and barely lucid before me, without so much as the energy to even move his arm, let alone land a heavy punch like he normally would. I took my chance, the man nothing more than a pile of flesh and bones as my leg swept through his, bringing the soldier down the the ground with a loud noise that resembled a mixture of a crash and a thud.

Of course, the impact made my tune immediately ware-off and the soldier was now fully lucid, but I could barely contain myself as I punched my fists into the air triumphantly and a grin curled across my lips.

A lonely applause filled the tall room, bringing me back to earth as I realised the situation. Footsteps angled towards me, slow and calculated as the claps slowed to a stop, The General standing before me with a tight-lipped smile.

"Well done, Miss Stark." He congratulated, looking around him and outstretching his arms. "It only took you, what? Three years?" He mocked, the taunting laughter of the guards making me feel nauseous. But I kept my composure, returning his mocking, tight-lipped smile that didn't even dare go near my eyes - which were alright with anger. "And now your training is complete. We shall have to teach you how to use a gun, I suppose?" He said lazily. I clenched my jaw.

"I knew how to use a gun perfectly fine, General." I gritted and his eyes brows shot up as he turned to face his comrades.

"Did you hear that, gentlemen? Looks like she doesn't need another three years to learn to fire a gun? My, my, haven't we lucked out with this one?" He mocked cruelly, coming back to face my burning eyes. He smirked, grabbing my chin between his thumb and his finger and angling my head up to meat his eyes. "Take her away, and get her ready for her first mission." He demanded, eyes churning with something that resembled pride, but darker. He kept his eyes on me as he spoke, before roughly jerking my chin away and letting the guards refasten the silencer over my mouth before they were grabbing and arm each and dragging me from the  training room.

The pulled me back down the hollow hall - passing my usual cell.

"W-where are we going?" I asked, swallowing heavily as they halted to a stop in front of an unfamiliar door and we shoving me inside. There was nothing gentle about the HYDRA guards, not that I ever expected there to be.

Once I was in one of them tugged the door shut, the other throwing a bundle of clothes at me, which I fought as the flew at my chest. I opened the ball of fabric out, finding a skin-tight leather tactile suit - red HYDRA symbol embellished on either arm and over my heart - along with underwear and some black tactile boots.

The men stared at me expectantly, eyeing me up and down by never making the move to leave.

"Aren't you supposed to give me privacy to change?" I asked sheepishly. As humiliating it had been to be whipped for three years the sight toppled in front of these men, the idea of willingly getting changed while they were stood staring at me like I was a piece of meat made bile ride in my throat.

"I highly suggest you get to it, unless you'd like us to help out, of course." One of the guards said with a sickening expression, making me grimace and begin to tug my shirt over my head.

"And how about you do it...slowly, if you don't mind, Miss Stark." The other remarked, arms crossed over his chest as he bit his lip and glued his eyes intensely on my body.

I gulped, continuing to pull the shirt over my head. Oh boy, this was gonna be a long day.

…

Blood and soot cakes my nails, the icky feeling of the grime a haunting reminder of what I had just done. I was in the shower room, scrubbing the mud and blood from my body as quickly and efficiently as I could. I was used to cleaning my own blood from my skin, but the feeling of someone else’s just made me want to-

I shivered, hands shaking the the brush tumbling out of my grasp and clattering to the floor. I braced a hand on the wall, letting my head hang forward as I took a deep breath, before looking back up and wincing as the cold water streamed over me.

No hot showers at HYDRA. I hadn’t felt the feeling of warm water rush over me since the last time I had a long bubble bath back home...

I shook the thought off, carding my fingers through my hair and attempting to pick the dirt and gravel out of it. My breath was ragged as I felt a hot steam of air on my neck, the faint tickle of fingers brushing over my hips and up my body until two large hands - one flesh, one metal - caged my head to the tiled wall.

“Soldier...” I moaned breathily, letting my eyes slip shut at the feeling of his hot breath hitting the back of my neck. It was an intoxicating feeling, really, especially after being void of affectionate human contact for so many years. The soldier buried his nose in my hair, inhaling deeply before bringing his lips to my eye.

“I can’t stay away from you.” He murmured, flesh hand coming down to grab a handful of my ass roughly before letting go. I almost whined at the loss of contact before I felt a harsh spank against my right ass cheek. What surprised me the most was the expected cry of pain did not escape me, but rather a moan of pleasure.

I could feel the soldier’s smirk against my skin at my reaction, my eyes still shut as his hand trailed over my hip once again, before slipping down my front and running a finger through my wet folds. I jerked away as his fingertip brushed over my sensitive nub, pressing my lips together to surpress a needy groan at his low chuckle, the sound going straight to my core and causing a pang of arousal to dance through me.

“Ever been touched here before?” He husked in my ear and o shook my head, almost in embarrassment. “No?” He checked and I shook my head again. “I’ll try to be gentle.” He muttered, but before I could protest his cold with gliding through my folds, now coated in my wetness and slowly sheathing itself inside of me.

A raspy moan tore from my throat, the soldier groaning behind me as his hand moved to my hip in a vice-like grip. His cock stretched me beyond my limits, and to say it was painful was an understatement. After a moment of keeping his cock fully seated within me, the soldier pulled his hips back slowly before slamming back roughly. A burn formed in my cunt and I let out another moan, dropping my head forward to to cool shower wall when he thrusted into me again.

After a few more thrusts the pain started to dissipate, instead turning into a delicious and pleasurable burn that sent tingles through me. When one of my hands reached backwards to grip onto the soldier’s thigh, he took it as a signal to speed up snapping his hips into mine until the only thing that could be heard were our skin slapping together, my breathy and broken moans and the soldier’s frankly feral and animalistic growls and groans in my ear.

A sharp gasp crawled up my throat when his hand transferred from my hip down to my core, two fingers flicking at my bungle of nerves. I could feel every vein, every ridge, every part of him as I clamped down around him, throwing my head back to rest of his shoulder as his pace somehow increased again - fingers drawing tight and fast circles on my clit in time with his thrusts.

My knees buckled as I came with a shout, falling back into him as my legs gave up on me. He let out a growl as his thrusts faltered, a few more strokes and he was shooting his load deep into me. I winced as he pulled out, falling forwards into the wall as I tried to catch my breath - breathing laboured.

As I turned to face the soldier, maybe pull him into a kiss, he disappeared. It was like he had gone into thin air. The only trace of him left was his cum dripping down my thighs, tickling my skin.

[ilove-cedricdiggory]

'M not going anywhere.

Remus x Reader

Requested? - It's part 3!

Summary - After leaving Remus, you found yourself with family in the horribly hot state of Texas. What can come of you now? With friends with worries the size of the state and a heart almost as broken as they come, what on earth can you do with yourself with the man shows up - only, in his werewolf state?

Trigger Warning - cursing, mentions of abortion

Guide - (y/m/n) - Your middle name

This one has a lot of backstory in it, fair warning! It's not super action filled, but the next chapter will be up soon!

When you met Remus, you were in school with him. You had known all about the infamous Maurauders and their love for trouble, but didn't really see much of them. Well, you thought you hadn't. You had seen each of them separately, James was in potions with you, Sirius had been in Care of Magical Creatures with you, Peter in Transfiguration, but Remus, well, you didn't think you had him in anything until 4th year. Separately, you thought they were all good people, kind to you in classes, funny when the lesson was droning on, and calm enough to let you get your notes finished within reasonable time.

By fourth year, you had gotten used to each of the three boys separately. When you met Remus in Charms, hanging out with him as a Prefect while walking through the hallways, then outside of your duties together and with the rest of your friends, it came as a surprise at how different he acted with the three boys.

He was always so incredibly kind, so beautiful with his words to you, so when your feelings for him grew substantially, it didn't seem to surprise you. But, when he actually asked you out in fifth year, with the major confirmation of his friends that, yes, Moony, she's crazy for you! Everyone besides you can see it! Just ask her!, You found yourself speechless.

The Remus Lupin liked you back, and was asking you to your own date this Saturday. Then another one in the Astronomy tower on Tuesday night while everyone else was at dinner. Then Friday at the quidditch game, he asked if you'd sit next to him during the game where he actually held your hand.

Date after date after date had you grinning from ear to ear when he finally asked you to be his girlfriend. Kiss after kiss after kiss had you falling in love with him a little bit more each time you pulled apart and opened your eyes just a second before he did, seeing his face in pure bliss.

When you both finally did admit your love for each other was the day you admitted you had known about Moony long before he told you - which had been on your fourth date on the quidditch pitch, laying on a blanket under the stars.

"I love the stars. Something so far away can still shine that bright." You mumbled, cuddling closer to his warm frame. He was always so warm.

"I don't care much for the night." He admitted, his voice a mumble.

"Remus John Lupin, why on earth do you not like the night? It's so peaceful and breathtaking. The night gives you unlimited possibilities." You had now turned to your side, your elbow propping your head up as you tangled your legs with his.

"You wanna know the truth?" he asked you, which had honestly surprised you. Of course you wanted to know the truth. "Well, why would I want you to lie to me, Rem? Especially about something that you don't care for." Your right hand lifted to run through his hair, fluffing it and leaving it sticking up slightly.

"I don't like the moon." You nodded, showing you were listening to him. "It controls me." He whispered, closing his eyes.

"How does the moon control you?" You knew the answer to your own question, having put two and two together in your fourth year, the night he had swapped prefect duties with the Ravenclaw boy he was just telling you he didn't trust the week before. When you had arrived back in your room, feeling a little hurt at his actions, you looked out your window to see the full moon shining down on the earth, it's glow filling up a bit of the forbidden forest enough for you to see a few creatures running along the sides. A stag, a dog, and a rat? Then you heard it, the long howl filling the quiet. Somehow, you're not sure exactly how, but it all clicked in you faster than you could have blinked.

Prongs - A stag. Padfoot - A dog. Wormtail - A rat. And most importantly, Moony - A werewolf.

You didn't ever bring it up, but with each month, pieces fell right into place. Now, you laid with the man himself, holding his deepest secret in your heart without him even knowing you held it.

"Y/n, as much as I wish I didn't have to tell you this, if I want our relationship to get anywhere, I know I have to." He sighed, his eyes staying closed, refusing to see your reaction. "I'm a werewolf." You let out a fake gasp, your hand leaving his hair to trace one of the scars on his forehead.

"I- I'm sorry." You whispered, your eyes staying on his. "You're sorry you don't wanna date me anymore?" He quizzed you, finally opening his eyes to face you. This caused you to let out a small chuckle, shaking your head. "Rem, why on earth would I not wanna date you anymore?" Your hand moved back to his hair, your nails scratching softly at his scalp. "I could hurt you, y/n." He spoke, his voice soft and full of fear.

"Remus, you've known me for a year now. You could have hurt me any other full moon, what would us dating change? It's not like I'm going to follow you out into the woods when you shift. It's not like I'm going to go out searching for you when you are out in your wolf form. It means I'd get to kiss each wound when you come back. It means I'd get to hold you in my arms and read to you every once in a while. It means I'd get to go on cute dates and make you bake with me in the kitchens. You being a wolf doesn't change anything." You shrugged nonchalantly, smiling up at him.

That night, Remus kissed you. He kissed you almost a thousand times. He kissed you so much that, when you woke up the next morning, your lips were still swollen.

After you and Remus had really been a couple for a while, you had realized how much he loved to sniff you. You didn't know if it was the Remus in him, or the Moony in him, but it didn't really bother you. You loved smelling him, why would it be so weird if he smelled you? If you were cuddling, his nose would burry in your hair, or your neck, or your chest, and he'd slowly inhale your scent to calm himself down.

If you were walking down the hallways, he bring your intertwined hands to lay a soft kiss on it before inhaling your scent, kissing it once more, then bringing them back down to sway as you walked.

If he had a horrible day, a bad full moon, or just felt off, he'd search the entire grounds until he found you, look your right in your eyes as he walked right to you, grab you by your waist, and pull you into him to hug you as tightly as he could, inhaling your intoxicating scent for himself.

This had caused you to start leaving a piece of your clothing in the bag they took with them when he turned, so he'd have something with him he could smell that reminded him of you. You were never sure if it helped or not, you never asked him and he never brought it up, but it gave you a sense of comfort each full moon.

But now, standing in front of the wolf himself, watching as his snout lifted into the air and took a deep inhale, well, it didn't exactly comfort you.

Which is why, with your eyes set on him, you reached down and into your boot, gripping onto the end of your wand, before pulling up and sending out two purple balls of light, each of them shooting into both of the houses around you.

This hadn't fazed him, for his eyes were still set on you, as he took a step closer. Before you had time to react, a dog had shot infront of you, growling at the creature before you. Right as he stepped, Moony bent down and growled at Sirius, but his a tone deeper and dripping with a warning.

It must have surprised Sirius, for he whimpered and stepped backwards, closer to your frame, which didn't help his case for Moony then snapped at him, stepping closer to him.

"Sirius, get behind Y/n." Your grandfather had stepped out his face door in a rush, his eyes taking in the scene before him. "Sirius, get behind Y/n and get into the house." Sirius whined at the older man, not wanting to leave you alone.

"Lily is in labor." You called to the man, watching him nod. "Sirius, if you run six blocks east, there is a small cottage. It's blue with white shutters on the left side. That's the healer closest to us. She'll come." This got Sirius to move, quickly rushing out of the gated yards.

"Now, y/n, he's not going to hurt you. I've only ever seen this once, but he recognizes your scent and the scent of your kids. It's kinda like he's sensing a mate with you because of your kids. Just stay calm. I'm surprised he hasn't already tackled you to the ground. Just, slowly sit down and let him come to you."

The last thing you expected of this night was the situation at hand, but now, you were sitting on the cold rocks, slightly shivering, your best friend in labor in the house behind you, watching your financé (?) slowly walk towards you, almost like Moony was afraid to frighten you.

He leaned down on all fours before he lowered his head into your lap, inhaling your scent deeply before letting it rest fully on your legs. His nose rested right at your belly bump, rubbing it slightly on your clothed stomach before letting out a sigh of relief.

You looked up at your grandfather, seeing him watching you intently. "Don't move, not that he'll let you. I will bring out a few pillows and a blanket for you. I'll make sure the healer helps Lily." You nodded, your eyes now moving to look down at Moony.

You hadn't ever seen him in his wolf state, but he somehow still looked handsome. His eyes were now closed, his body relaxed as he soaked in your scent.

"What do you mean, you're not joining the Order?" Remus yelled at you, his face red with fury. There were very few times Remus was this angry with you, usually when you had been neglecting yourself of necessities. But, this time, he was raging in fury with your absolute denial to join the war.

"Remus, I'm just saying I'm not going to go out and fight! Molly doesn't! I'm going to stay back and help where I'm needed. There are tons of you going to fight, I'm staying back to take care of everyone that doesn't go on the missions! What do you want from me?! I wasn't good at defensive spells, I wasn't good at duels! Do you want me to go out there and fucking die?" This caused him to quiet down, your fury having grown substantially.

The two of you sat in silence for a few moments, allowing you both to calm down. "I don't want you to die. I would kill myself if you ended up dying on one of the missions." Remus' voice was soft and full of fear now. "Then why do you want me to go out there and fight, Rem? You are the one that saw me up past midnight trying to learn the defensive spells so often. You're the one I made duel with me night after night to try to improve. You of all people know that I couldn't properly protect myself or anyone else if I went."

He nodded, hating to admit that you were right. He had even told you, seventh year, "Baby, I love you, but you're definitely not getting your excellent mark on this. You'll pass, but barely." You had been much more skilled in potions and herbology, not in the defensive skills.

"I just, I can't stand the idea of you being back home if the order gets attacked. I know that's stupid, I know that's irrational, it's much more dangerous to actually be out there, I'm just scared." It hurt your heart to hear him admit how scared he was, but, you all were scared. You were growing up in a war that shouldn't be yours to fight.

"Remus, while I stink at my defensive skills, have you seen Molly Weasley? The woman survives on defensive skills, all her kids figuring out how to moderately work their magic. I think I'm safer with her than with you." This caused him to break into a small smile, but wrap you up tightly in his arms. "You're not safer with anyone else but me. I'd murder Voldemort himself before he touched you." You gasped at the use of his name, turning to eye the love of your life. "You said his name." You whispered, your eyes wide. "Well, I'd use his name to his face if it kept you out of harm's way."

You had dozed off a bit, your head laying back on the pillow Sirius had brought you, having gawked at the wolf fast asleep in your hold. "We always knew your scent calmed him, it always did when you gave him some of your clothes, but this? I'd never thought I'd live to see the day Moony didn't try to attack whoever was in front of him."

You had only been awoken by James, tapping on your shoulder. You jerked awake, seeing Moony still asleep in your hold. "Lily had the baby, a girl. They're both up in our room, but she wanted me to come tell you and check up on you." He eyed Moony warily, fear still evident in his body, worried the wolf would awake and tear you to shreds. "I'm so glad. Did everything go okay?" Your voice was a whisper, not wanting to wake the wolf either.

"Yeah, the healer said she did great. Hardly needed the help." James sat down beside you, but scooted a foot away from you when Moony growled in his sleep, the foreign scent mixing with yours. "It's weird, seeing him like this. All the nights we were out there with him, trying to keep him from tearing into Hogwarts and keep him away from you when it's apparently all he needed." James shook his head, attempting to remove the shock from his head.

"I don't think he needs me anymore." You whispered. While it hurt you to say, you honestly believed it. The man let you leave without a sliver of doubt. He watched you walk out of the home you built together, taking his kids with you.

"Y/n, he searched the world until he found you, of course he needs you." James didn't say anything about you needing to forgive him, about you needing to hear him out, because he didn't think Remus deserved that. He just knew that Remus did need you. "He should be shifting back soon. I brought out some of his clothes I found in your stuff." He gestured to the pile of clothes beside the both of you before standing up.

"When you guys get inside, Lily would love for you to come in and meet her." You smiled at that, nodding. "It would be my honor."

You laid back down, listening to the morning sounds slowly begin, until you felt the movement under you, watching for your own eyes as Remus shifted back into himself. He groaned, the pain filling his frame once more within 12 hours, the sounds of his groans bringing tears to your eyes.

Once he was fully to himself, his eyes opened and met yours, widening. "What?" He asked softly, his gaze not leaving yours. You reached over, grabbing the clothes brought out for him before dropping them on his chest. He sat up without another word, removing his body from yours and beginning to get dressed.

He stood, pulling the boxers and pants on as you stood yourself. You grabbed the pillows and blankets, waiting until he began to pull on the sweater before rushing inside, hoping to escape the looming conversation.

You set the things down in the living room before slowly creeping up the stairs and towards the room with Lily and James, hearing a soft and small cry emitting from it. You knocked softly, hearing the "come in" before you creaked open the door. "Hey you four." You whispered, seeing Harry fast asleep on James' chest.

"Y/n, thank Merlin." Lily spoke, her eyes welling with tears at the sight of you. "I was so worried. I didn't know what happened." You smiled, walking closer to the woman. "It's all okay, it's a long story, but it's all okay." You walked closer until you were at the edge of the bed, looking down at Lily and the beautiful baby girl.

"Take her." Lily whispered, looking up at you. "What?" you asked, your eyes wide. "You're gonna need the practice, take her." You nodded, slowly grabbing the baby from Lily, coddling her to your chest.

"Y/n!" You heard Remus call before turning into the room, staring at you holding the baby. "You had her?" Remus now asked Lily, smiling widely. "Mhm, last night. Looks like two people decided to make an entrance." Lily laughed, smiling at you.

"She's beautiful." You whispered, your eyes having stayed on the baby in yours arms. "What's her name?" You looked down at Lily, now seeing James awake and looking at you. "Well, we wanted to confirm with you, but we wanted to name her Harley y/m/n Potter." You gasped softly, looking down at the two parents.

"Are you sure?" They both nodded before you finished speaking, "More than sure." Your tears fell freely as you looked down at the baby, seeing her now asleep in your warm hold. "I'd be honored."

Remus had now walked to you, standing behind you as he looked down, his eyes set on you holding the baby girl, pregnant with his own kids. His gaze moved to the ceiling, holding in tears before he glanced at the bed, seeing James glaring daggers into his frame.

"Here, I'm gonna go freshen up. She's absolutely beautiful, guys." You carefully handed Harley back to her mom before quickly walking out of their room, but stopping a few steps away to hear James speak.

"Fucking prat, there the fuck you are! Where have you been?!" His voice was harsh, angry at his best mate. "Looking for her, what else! The second she left Molly's, I've been looking!" Remus' voice was scratchy like it was every morning after a turn.

"Yeah, well, you're a dick." Lily spoke up, still looking down at her baby girl. "I still think Sirius should have punched you harder." Remus nodded, looking at the floor.

"I can't believe I said that to her, guys. What the fuck kind of person am I?" His voice was growing rougher, his eyes swelling with tears. "Don't go on about this with us, mate. You're in the same house as her, go tell her." That caused you to walk off quickly, moving to your room, shutting the door and leaning against it.

Your hands wrapped around your belly, bringing you back to the day you apparated out of Molly's living room, having held your stomach the same way, protecting your children. What on earth do you say to him? What did you want from him?

You weren't sure what the answer was to either of those questions, which is why you quickly left your room and slipped into the bathroom. He couldn't talk to you if you were in the shower. You confirmed you had your bathroom items before jumping into the shower, taking the longest shower you had ever taken in your life.

While you stood, shampoo in your hair, you thought.

What if he still doesn't want them? I'd have to stay here. I'd move in fully and live in Texas. Texas, really? It's so fucking hot and I'd miss snow. Then I'd move in with Molly. Nope, no way, there are already 7 kids there, she does not need two more. Then, James and Lily? Nope. She just had another newborn, there was no way you'd bug them with this. Sirius. That's where you'd go. He had tons of space and you're sure he'd be more than okay with you there.

But, what if he changed his mind? What if he did want them? How could you trust that? How could you possibly believe he'd want them after immediately suggesting they be gotten rid of?

As you applied the conditioner, you wished you could just go back to the easier things. The happier things. The things that had you almost thinking you lived in a world not plagued with pending war.

Five years after graduation. You were sitting in Remus' lap at James and Lily's place, still getting used to Peter not being around. Harry now being two had you all more than happy, listening to his vocabulary grow.

The football game was on, the muggle TV playing as Lily still attempted to explain it to Sirius and James. Remus had his arms around you, his gaze no longer on the TV, but on Harry as he played on the floor with his stuffed dragon. "I can't believe you got him a muggle toy." He laughed in your ear, the smile evident on his face. "Well, he loves Dragons! I couldn't not buy it." You smiled at your boyfriend, kissing his nose softly. The night carried on, the five of you playing a few games of sharades, but you exiting the room to grab the next plate of sliders to bring into the room.

As you sat back down, Harry walked up to you, sat in your lap, and grabbed your face. "Mawwy me." He giggled softly, your eyebrows furrowing as Lily quickly yanked him from your lap, nervously chuckling. "Hah, sorry, don't know where that came from" You looked around the room, all four faces refusing to look at you, all of them nervously laughing along with Lily.

"Did Harry just ask me to marry him?" You watched as they glanced around nervously before breaking out, talking over each other. "What, psh, no way." "Where would he have learned how to do that?" "I didn't hear that, did you hear that?" "No, but I did." All talked stopped, everyone looking at Remus. "What did you just say?"

Remus took a deep breath, moving off the couch and turning to look at you, before bending down onto one knee. "I've been talking to them a lot about how I was going to ask you, but seeing as how Harry beat me to the punch, let's do it right now. Y/n, right in front of our friends and a little boy who doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut." James tickled Harry, causing him to giggle as you all smiled. "I'm asking the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my entire life, the girl who showed me that being something you can't control doesn't make you a monster, the girl who makes me smile with just a single giggle, to marry me. You have shown me a happiness I thought everyone was faking, a love that I didn't think existed outside of James and Lily and Molly and Arthur, and a kindness I thought had left the world.

"So, in the living room of our best friends, surrounded by food I think Harry might have stuck his fingers in, I ask you to marry me. Make me the happiest man in the world and marry me."

You thought his proposal had been so incredibly beautiful, better than any you ever could have imagined. As you rinsed off the extra shaving cream from your legs, you sighed deeply. How did your love life come to this?

Eventually, you had exited the shower, tying the bathrobe around your bump before opening the bathroom door, walking out and jumping at the sight of Remus sitting on your bed.

"Fuck, you scared me." You clutched your belly, looking at the man. "Oh, shoot, sorry." You pulled the robe tighter, seeing his eyes flutter down to his legs. It hurt your heart to think you needed to cover up from him, but you attempted to cover the large bump behind the robe.

"Let me, uh, let me change really quick." You grabbed your underwear from your dresser before rushing into the closet, shutting the door and dressing in a shirt and a baggier set of overalls, hoping it didn't show your belly too much. When you walked out, Remus was now pacing the floor, his hands gripping his hair tightly.

"Rem, stop, it's fine." you quickly walked to him, pulling his hands from his hair. "I'm glad you're okay." You mumbled the words, taking a step back from him. He inhaled deeply, his eyes shutting.

"I can still smell the change in your scent. Really, Moony can, but I can still tell." You nodded, stepping back once more.

"Y/n, we need to talk." You laughed bitterly, a mix of anger and sadness filling your body. "You think we need to talk, Remus? You think so? You think we should talk about the fact that, the second you got back from being on a mission you could have died on, you yelled at me for something I couldn't control? You think we should talk about the fact that you basically told me to abort our kids? You think we should talk about the fact that you let me walk out of our home without trying to stop me? You think we should talk about that?"

Your hands were shaking in anger, your eyes swelling up with tears. Damn, how much can one person cry? Your hands gripped your own hair now, pulling it in anger. "How can I cry this much? How does this happen?" You shouted in anger, now at yourself. "Fucking hormones!" Your hands fell to your sides, your eyes squeezed shut before your felt yourself in the hold of him.

His scent filled you, filled you up until your body relaxed involuntarily. "'S okay, I'm right here. I'm right here." One hand went up to smooth the hair that you yanked, the other firmly holding you to him. Your hands wrapped around him, grasping onto the fabric of his shirt at his back. "I'm so fucking mad at you, Remus. So fucking mad." Your tears slowed, your eyes closing as you finally felt safe.

He had been your safe place for so long and going without him for this long had kept your body weak. Now, relaxed in his hold, your body begged for decent sleep. You allowed yourself to go limp in his hold, feeling him pick you up bridal style and walk to both to the bed, curling up with you in his arms. "'M right here, love. Right here and I'm not going anywhere." You drifted to sleep, holding him with as much strength as you could as you slept.

~

Tag list -

@gog0juice @isabellamur @tae-v-val @missmulti @brod16 @justmesadgirl @little-bit-of-randomness @emptyporsche @pan-pride-12 @zabrynaskylar @introverted-gal @girl22334 @lilacskiesandpolaroids @crowleysqueenofhell @tb-ctn @y0urlocallos3r @voidmalfoy @chickeebabe @sadieswanson @fredweasleysbitchh @rachaelluvil @thelastwildangel @dan-knee-03 @dive-the-frogger @delaneychamberlain @mahleigham

[seraphanangelica]

I Hope You Suffer

Bakugo x Fem! Reader Angst

Feat. Midoriya

I wrote this a LONG time ago, and I’m posting it on here for nostalgic reasons. It’s also on my Wattpad 😂

Warnings: Violence, language, Bakugo being a prick

I stared hatefully at the two pieces of paper that laid all alone on my otherwise empty mahogany desk. Two letters, to be precise, were from him, the one person who I absolutely hated right now. Right when we were getting serious he just had to make me look like a fool. He just had to try to weaken me.

With an enraged scream, I shot a beam of fire at the papers that tore my heart in a million pieces, making them turn to ash instantly, same for the desk. For a second, I stared at the pile of ash with a blank expression on my face, a split second of emotionless behavior.

"SHIT!!!!" I screamed, sinking to the black stained carpet that was supposed to be white. I had burned so much stuff in this room that I gave up on trying to clean the floors. I buried my face in the palms of my hands, pulling my H/L H/C hair out of frustration.

How could he do this to me? What have I done to him to deserve this? They all warned me. They said it would end like this--ugly and uncaring.

"WHY?!" I slammed my fists on the floor, leaving marks of ash in the exact shape of my fists. My breath became ragged, the source of my air leaving. It was like the world was mocking me, disgracing my actions. But it wasn't me they needed to mock. It was him.

The next day at school, I didn't talk to anyone as I walked onto campus. I just wanted to get class over with. Right now, everyone was annoying, laughing and joking, smiling at their wonderful day. Whatever, it's not like they knew what happened. I can't just expect them to automatically know and come talk to me.

I walked slower than my usual speedy pace, not caring if I was late at all. Today, Aizawa could kiss my ass, as well as all the heroes here. knowing the person I dreaded to see would start something up, chances were high that I would break a myriad of school rules just to see him fall.

"Y/N!! Wait up!" Izuku shouted, running up to me and putting a hand on my shoulder to get my attention. "You didn't return my calls last night. I was worried that something was wrong." He said with concern, but with the ever-present smile on his face.

I smiled my best fake smile and nodded once, waving my hand in a dismissive gesture as we walked, still very slowly, towards 1-A. "Yeah, sorry about that, Izuku," I looked behind my shoulder, scanning the students until I saw a very familiar head of spiky blonde hair. "I was a little preoccupied last night." I scowled, venom on my tongue.

Izuku stopped smiling. After a second, he stopped walking. "I know you, Y/N, more than you think. That smile isn't real." He put his hands in his pockets and looked up at me worriedly. I just shrugged and continued walking, not waiting for Izuku, knowing he'd catch up to ask more questions.

Looking behind to where I was previously, his frown turned to slight anger. "Did something happen with you and Kacchan?" He glanced me look of pity, making me scoff.

"And if something did? Please don't pity me, I don't need it or want it. And don't do anything rash." I added the last part just as Izuku clenched his fists in attempt to not say anything. When he didn't respond, I knew he was most likely thinking of what he'd do if Katsuki hurt me again.

It was silent as we entered the classroom, sadly separating to go to our seats. I took my seat next to Todoroki, who as I was worried about, because he notices everything. Won't be long until he notices I'm not talking to Katsuki like I always do.

Sighing inwardly, I folded my arms on the desk and used them as a pillow as I hid my face, praying when Katsuki entered the room he wouldn't say anything. Did I just think Katsuki and not saying anything in the same sentence?

I could practically sense Todoroki looking at me curiously due to my odd behavior, but it's not like I cared. To be honest, who really does? I heard Todoroki sigh quietly, probably giving up trying to figure out what my problem was. I just wanted silence. Like everything I did, it was a wasted endeavor.

"DEKU YOU BASTARD!!"

My head snapped up and I saw Katsuki yelling at Izuku as always. Wonder what Izuku didn't do this time. I didn't pay much mind to it nowadays since Izuku got his quirk, explaining it was late manifestation. But considering the circumstances from last night, things have changed.

Before Izuku could even open his mouth to respond, I stepped in, laughing my ass off. Of course the laugh was fake, but it was more convincing than my smile.

"THE FUCK YOU LAUGHING AT, L/N?" Katsuki shouted, his attention turned away from my best friend. I put my finger up for him to give a second as I was seriously struggling to get air, standing up so I could breathe easier. Katsuki looked shocked that someone told him to wait so they could respond - they would just cower.

"You just...need to.... One second." There were a few laughs from the other students as I continued taking deep breaths, once again putting my finger up, telling him to wait even longer. I quickly regained my posture and spoke with a smirk, "You just need to change what you say more often. 'Deku you bastard' is way too overused."

Katsuki returned my smirk, his darker and more cruel. "You know what else is overused? You calling me by my first name. It's Bakugo to you now." Silence consumed the classroom, a couple people gasped. By this time, the whole of 1-A knew we had broken up.

I clenched my fists and walked up to Bakugo so we were but a foot apart. "WHAT DID I DO, HUH?! YOU JUST DROP ME LIKE I'M NOTHING? THROW ME AWAY LIKE A FUCKING PIECE OF TRASH?!"

He rolled his eyes and scowled, something deadly that I might not survive. Well, there's nothing to live for now. "You're just an obstacle in my way, an extra. You are nothing," He pushed me lightly, making me stumble back. "You are just a piece of trash, something, as you said is so easily thrown away." By now he had me against the wall, his arm pinning me to it.

I tried to look calm and menacing, but my eyes gave me away, I already knew it. So, as I hated him, I tried to hit him where it hurts. More specifically, his pride. "An extra? Oh, please. You do know you're the only one here who doesn't think of yourself as one too? There are people more talented and powerful here than you, and they don't think of me as an extra."

"SHUT UP! I'M NOT AN EXTRA! THE ONLY REASON THEY DON'T CONSIDER YOU AS AN ONE IS BECAUSE THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU EXIST AND THEY COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT A PATHETIC THING LIKE YOU!"  Bakugo grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled off the wall just to slam me back against it, the impact making me shudder.

What happened next was like slow motion to me. My E/C eyes saw Iida shouting at Bakugo to sit down, just as Bakugo raised his fist that was surround by explosions at me. With shouts of rage, Izuku and Todoroki grabbed him and tried pulling him away from me. It deemed useless when Bakugo broke free of their hold, and turning back to me. Just as I was about to be exploded into bits, a familiar white/grey scarf captured Bakugo, and drug him away from the area.

I was frozen in place, my shock taking hold of my mind. I was numb to the world and frankly, I liked it. Two things he had said to me hung in my mind like poison. He had called me a thing. Is that really how he sees me? That, though, was nothing compared to what he screamed as he was dragged back to his seat by Aizawa. 'I hate you, Y/N L/N'.

Not caring who was watching, I sunk to my knees and finally cried, letting my tears fall in ugly and loud sobs, completely missing the quick flash of regret in Bakugo's face. He reminded himself that he needed to do what he did so he could become the best. Before  I could see the true feelings of Katsuki Bakugo, he went back to the profile of a heartless, broken beast.

"I-I just can't believe Kacchan would do that to you."  Izuku stuttered as we walked out of UA and headed to the nearest diner. I hadn't eaten lunch since Bakugo would be there, so Izuku insisted that he'd take me to get something to eat. Truly, I didn't mind as long as he pays; free food is free food.

"It's alright, really. He had a problem, and he got rid of it. Simple enough." I put my hands in my jacket pockets and slouched, a complete giveaway towards my emotions. I can't keep anything away from those who know everything about me.

Izuku surprisingly didn't even look at me as I said what I thought. Honestly, I've been telling myself I was just a problem and something in the way ever since I started attending UA. As much as Izuku and everyone else tries to tell me, I deny every time they do, I don't believe it when they say I'm worth it. Bakugo just confirmed my thoughts.

"You just called yourself a problem," Izuku shook his head. "But you're not. Why do you put yourself down like this?" By now, my green haired friend was fully convinced I was at some level depressed from the situation.

I shrugged as we approached the restaurant, reaching the door first and holding it open for Izuku. "It's the truth, I am well aware it hurts." I said simply, sitting at a random table by the window so I could at least breath a bit. Bored very quickly, I picked up the menu and scanned my eyes over the list of food.

Izuku sat across from me and frowned at the table, a truly sad and broken expression present on his face. I wanted to question what it was for, but decided against it quickly when he looked up, our eyes meeting, green to E/C. He sighed and shook his head again as if he were wanting to tell me something and was restraining himself before he could.

The waitress arrived then, and we ordered our drinks and food, avoiding eye contact with everything and everyone. She nodded and then left, scribbling the last things on her notepad. When she was out of sight, we continued the conversation.

"What happened yesterday? You and Kacchan seemed fine at school, and now you can't even speak his name." He said after a long couple seconds' silence. I stayed silent, looking at the dark brown table with sudden interest in the illusion of texture. "Tell me, Y/N." He pressed. One day, his caring too much will have big consequences for him- good and bad.

"Nothing really important. I was just walking home yesterday from what seemed like a good day with Katsuki- I mean Bakugo. Then a few hours later, my mother came in and handed me two envelopes written out to me." I paused, not sure I wanted to go on, but Izuku's interest made me continue. Blame him for all my good doings. "I Was excited, as anyone would be if they see something addressed to them on paper rather than text. Both letters were from Katsuki, the first one saying how much he loved me and that it was genuine, only for the second one to say that that's the exact reason he had to let me go. I was in the way of him becoming the best hero the world could get. I threw them on my desk and disintegrated the papers and my desk."

Izuku  portrayed something so despondent, it was hard to believe that it was him. "That's something you can expect from Kacchan... but that doesn't mean he has a right to do that to you."

The waitress came with out food and we thanked her, carrying on the moment she left. I hope she didn't think we were being secretive and I hate more than anything someone being suspicious of me. Then again, it wasn't her job to ask questions-it was her job to bring the food.

"Besides," He started, taking a bite of chicken. "He could be regretting it this very moment." His smile was so convincing, but I didn't believe it for a second.

"What was it you just said? The betrayal sounds like Bakugo, but regret doesn't even come close to him. You have more luck breaking the fourth wall then getting a smidgen of regret from Katsuki." I scoffed, picking at my food with sudden slight disgust. Izuku is going to pay for it, so might as well try to eat something.

Izuku nodded in understanding, then shook his head. "Kacchan has regrets. I've seen him regret many things before, and I'm sure he regrets this." The way he tried to lighten the mood, the amount of effort not to be angry at Bakugo, the self restraint he put upon himself was phenomenal. I would've expected at least one tear to fall by now, or at least some form of his anger to reveal itself. I knew Izuku was mad at Bakugo, but it wasn't his problem. What his problem was was making every single one his. It'll get him killed one day, I guarantee it.

I sighed and glanced out the window, eyeing the vibrant green grass field that was known as the park just a street across. When I was younger, that meadow of sorts used to be my haven, my way to contemplate life's complications, to release my anger if need be. But I couldn't do that anymore. When I did, the meadow was sealed off, giving me the advantage to incinerate anything and everything I wanted to. I'm pretty sure there was still the remains of an oak tree from a few years ago just sitting there, waiting to disappear like an apparition. Sooner or later, the stress from the life of UA would lead back there once again.

"Possibly," I said softly, breaking out of my thoughts. "But we will see. I won't wait around for him to beg for forgiveness. If he can move on so damn quickly, so can I, and I will not let him get under my skin just to rip me apart. Again. I hope he suffers."

Izuku went pale, a glimpse of fear in his eyes. I, being one of the most powerful in class 1-A, have been proven to be very intimidating when angry, so no one really tries to get me even the slightest annoyed. All but Bakugo of course.

"Y-you don't actually mean that, d-do you?" He stuttered, his already big eyes wide with worry for who he thinks is his friend. One day, he'll realize Katsuki Bakugo had stopped being his friend years ago.

I just smiled, still looking out the window marveling at the beauty of what was about to be a pile of ash. I always smile when I'm angry, it's a huge giveaway if anyone's ever saw one.

"Oh, I mean it. He thinks he can just throw me away? I'll just keep coming back, and back, and back until he gets a solid message. He will suffer." With a wicked smirk, I waited for the right time I could tell Bakugo I was going to be his demise.

Tonight, all that we cherished together will go go down to ash.

Yeah... welp, there’s always room for improvement!

[spdersilk]

Recruit [1]

Warning(s): Cursing. Human scientific experiment (not gory).

Summary + Author’s Note: Basically I really wanted to start an Avenger’s series where the reader is a new recruit. This is just a prelude, as it kind of just sets up what has happened to the reader. The reader is a close confidante of a science professor and often helps with research. She visits the lab one day only to find unwelcome guests. Also, I do not have a set time frame yet other than the fact that this takes place in the 21st century. Concrete details are soon to come

But I do hope you guys like it!

Pairing(s): None (yet).

Part [2]

“I- Yes. Mom, no I already told you! I’m over that stuff. I’m just going to the lab to collect some of my belongings.” It had been the thirteenth time your mother had called to interrogate you. A blast of frigid air nipped at your cold cheeks. Stupid Manhattan and it’s stupid winters. 

 “Honey, it’s for the best okay? Getting in that field means risking your life and we both don’t want that. I mean you saw what happened to Julie! S.H.I.E.L.D stripped her of her life’s work!”

That’s because she was a criminal who planned for world domination! Your mother had always brought up your great great grandmother. You shared a lot of similarities with her. The both of you shared a great interest for quantum physics and bio mechanics. The only difference? You weren’t a criminal who is diagnosed with split personality disorder and took part in an organized occult that strived for world domination.  You were just a little more civilized than that. 

 “Mom. I am not Julie, okay? I just have to finish packing up and I’ll be out of there within no time.”

“Alright.  Don’t forget to pick up the chocolate eclairs from the bakery. I ordered a batch weeks ago. Those primitive bastards can’t even differentiate between Modica and Perugina.” Your mother grunted before hanging up. 

You shoved your phone into your pocket and bolted towards the large Gothic building in front of you. The building would have been beautiful if it weren't for the smog and graffiti. The eeriness of the white entrance was enough for any police officer to get the chills. You smiled breathlessly at the building. You wouldn't have noticed the three sleek black cars parked behind you if it weren't for the three men dressed in identical black parkas entering the building. You furrowed your eyebrows. That doesn't make sense. You grabbed your phone and quickly dialed your close confidante, Professor Nottingham.

“Professor? Hi. Its Y/N Y/L/N. I was just calling to ask if the lab was open today.” 

“Y/N! Hello! No, I already told you, we’re shutting down the building. Government contracts and stuff. There shouldn't be anyone there. Are you there to pick up your belongings?” 

You gulped and slowly approached one of the black cars. “U-Uh yes. You know how I’m putting a temporary hold on my research. I just came to gather my papers.” You peered carefully at the back of the car. A strange symbol was placed right next to the license plate, resembling a skeleton with tentacles. For a fleeting moment it had looked familiar. 

“Oh no worries. Say, there isn’t any cars there right? I really don’t want government officials up in my lab on my downtime. There always up in my ass these days.” You warily eyed the three cars.

“N-No.”

“Are you alright Y/N? Your sounding awfully nervou-”

“I’m sorry Professor Nottingham I have to go. Uh my mom’s expecting me home early. I’ll call you later for the rest of my reports. Happy Holidays!” You placed your phone in your pocket. Nervousness flooded your senses. All your research papers were flat on your desk and the thought of the government near unauthorized experiments made you tremble with panic. You’d be locked up within minutes. Opening the rusted mahogany doors, you ran towards the stairs. There was only a limited amount of time before those officials got a hold of your belongings. And your serum. Sheer terror filled your body. You flung yourself towards the entrance of the main floor only to scatter to a stop. At least 10 men, all dressed in black, had gathered in the center of the room. You looked nervously at your desk to see if it had not been touched.Not a single paper was out of place. Exhaling slowly, you walked into the room, keeping your back low till you reached your desk. Quickly, you filed all the papers into your bag before stopping.  Where was the

“This serum is going to react with the mixture in here. Once reacted fully, we can determine which compound is the limiting reagent.” You peeked above the table to see a stout man holding a vile.

“Hey!” You rose to a stance, practically staggering towards the corpulent short man. “That’s my serum!” You growled, only to be stopped short by a rather tall man. He grasped both of your arms tightly. You struggled for a minute before kicking him as hard as you could in his abdomen. He coiled to the ground and you lunged for the short man.

“Who are you?” He hissed, pushing you away from him. 

“Sir! The latch has been already set. The experiment will start in 30 seconds.” A man from the end of the room yelled. 

“Get this girl of off me!” The short man yelled. Panic flooded your body as you heard several men running towards your direction. You twisted the short man’s arm anti clockwise before grasping the vile from his other hand.

“GET THE GIRL!!” The short man bellowed, grasping his now dislocated arm. You ran towards the center of the room, peering behind you momentarily.These guys don’t look like government officials. You stopped short at the the rather large orbital in the center of the room. Next to it was a ladder that lead to the top. I don’t remember Nottingham starting another experiment. You began to climb to the top of the orbital. 

“Sir, 10 seconds left!” The man had called. The short man looked up at you and smiled sickeningly.

“You realize that after this you are in our hands now. There is no escape. You will be no less than a mutant that will beckon to our call.” You furrowed your eyebrows. “Look, I don’t know what you’re talking about. This is my serum and you took it from me. Who are you anyway?” You said, gripping the vile in your hand. The serum inside of it was a supporting research project for Professor Nottingham’s new study. You didn't have that much knowledge of it other than the fact that the study was supposed to benefit some organization of super soldiers.. 

The man grinned eerily at you. “ Stupid girl. Do you know nothing? We are HYDRA.” 

A stark beam hit your hand and for a second you thought the roof had broken and the sun was shinning through. But suddenly the vile broke and the serum pooled in your hands. You shrieked as the beam centered on your hands. It felt as if poison had seeped in your veins while your muscles expanded. You felt your heart contract at an irregular rhythm and your breathing stagger. You were sure you were dying. Shrieks and screams ripped from your mouth as you fell to the ground. You tried to move your hands away from the serum but nothing worked. And suddenly the beam had stopped but your screaming did not. The pain heightened. It had felt like your bones were being crushed inside of your body.

“Shut up!” A voice hissed. Something cold had coated your hands and suddenly your body felt cool. Your heart continued to beat in its normal rhythm but your chest felt like fire. You couldn’t breathe.

“I c-can’t-” There was an intense pain in your head. Someone had punched you. You opened your eyes and hissed. Tears blotted your vision from the pain. The short man stood above you.

“Get up.” 

Your eyes widened as you noticed a knife in his hand. You grabbed his injured arm and pulled him towards the ground before leaping up. 

 You ran towards the stairs and raced towards the ground floor as fast as you could. Sounds of grunting men followed you. Tears blotted your vision, making it even more difficult to run. You threw yourself against the doors and ran down the street.  Quickly, you skidded to a nearby alley and slid to a stop. A strange feeling spread throughout your hands. You squinted at them. There was no evidence that the serum was present. The veins in your hands were evident, and you grimaced. It looked as if your hands were severely bruised. 

“Excuse me.” You let out a small shriek before turning around. 

“Listen, I-I don’t have whatever it is that you want. That serum was mm-”

“Y/N Y/L/N?” The man asked. He was a tall man with an eye patch. You furrowed your eyebrows. He smiled lightly

“Nick Fury. Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. There are a few things I would like to discuss with you.” 

I hope you guys liked it! Once again this was kind of like a teaser but I wanna know if you guys want a part two maybe?

x

[lizzybeth1986]

There used to be a lot of things that puzzled me about Hana Lee.

This was, of course, way back when I refused to spend any diamonds on any book, much less a possibly-cliche-romance-spoinoff that featured a Prince Charming, his best friend and one of his suitors as potential love interests.

From whatever I'd read, Hana seemed like a fairly nice girl. Extremely talented, eager to make friends, very well-versed in social graces but also naive and sheltered when it came to the outside world. A loner: someone who had tea parties with imaginary friends because she was never allowed toys. On and off, she would give us a few vague indications of how controlling her family was, and how much her parents expected of her. She is a woman who comes to Cordonia hoping to win Prince Liam's hand, but falls in love with a fellow suitor instead.

But unless we explore her diamond scenes, we can never clearly understand Hana. We can never understand her fears, her pain, the newly-developed emotions that confuse her so much. We can never understand what a struggle it is for her to finally walk up to the MC at the end of this book, and to say "I care for you". To be able to fully appreciate her journey to that moment, we need to explore her background.

We first meet Hana in Chapter 2, while she is still getting dressed. The MC can choose to be nice to her - either by apologizing or complimenting her when she enters, and later by helping her into her outfit. It is after the MC helps her get ready that the above two panels appear.

Hana clearly has very few friends in Cordonia (she tells us during her time at the cronut run that she hasn't been invited to any parties since she arrived), and we find out later that despite her caring nature and many talents, she has never had close friends at all. So when the MC, a fellow suitor who should be viewing her as competition, offers her unconditional help - she is baffled, but grateful.

Chapter 3, however, shows us a different Hana. A Hana who is still haunted by her past. A Hana who came to Cordonia to escape the scandal of a broken engagement. A Hana whose so-called 'reputation' followed her all the way to Europe.

The MC, on hearing this, is justifiably angry. She comes from a worldview where people can make their own decisions regarding their relationships, and can part ways without repercussions. Where breakups are a sad but sometimes necessary part of normal life. To Hana, this worldview is not just unheard of, but positively alien.

Hana comes from a largely traditionalist society. One that treats her mostly as an extension of her parents. She isn't always allowed the space to mingle with a lot of people. There is a constant emphasis placed on her duty towards her parents - even at the cost of her own self-actualization. This seems to be a society where respect to parents is tantamount, where even your associations and friendships are scrutinized and vetted by your family, where honour is something that is placed squarely on a woman's shoulders.

When Hana's engagement falls apart, it is not Peter - her fiance - who faces the brunt of it even though he initiated the breakup. It is Hana who suffers. Her suffering is made even more painful by her upbringing: one that conditions her to believe that a loveless marriage is better than a broken match, that the honour of her family rests on her shoulders...and that, by letting him go, she is solely responsible for the 'loss' of that honour. Look, for instance, at her parents' response to the broken engagement:

Note how the focus moves so easily from how the scandal hurt her, to how it hurt her parents. Hana's feelings barely seem to count here. Her own sense of failure, or the way their shaming has affected her, takes up no more than maybe a line of dialogue before she shifts to how it affected her parents. Her life seems to revolve around ensuring that they are happy, that their family name is upheld. When she "fails" to do that, she - like everyone else around her - blames herself.

Which is why - even as the MC acknowledges the sheer cruelty of Olivia's words - Hana agrees with her instead.

Imagine the kind of conditioning that allows you to blame yourself this way. It makes you consider yourself "damaged goods" because someone else called off your engagement (granted, we find out later that Peter did it because he realised Hana didn't love him). It makes you believe that you are nothing if you aren't able to attract or keep potential matches. It definitely makes you feel like your self-esteem doesn't count, your feelings don't count, you don't count.

Peter breaking the engagement wasn't damaging in and of itself. It was damaging because she has been brought up to believe her whole life that her worth lay in someone else's hands (and she actually does say this in Book 2, Chapter 2: "if I'm so great, how come I don't attract all the good matches like Liam does?"). The breaking of the engagement casts doubts on her character, makes people believe there is something wrong with her. And her parents - instead of trying to help their daughter cope with this - throw her into another match and pressure her into winning the hand of another man she doesn't love. Hana has been conditioned to believe that in not being engaged she has brought shame to her family, and that wanting to have a say in her life choices is selfish. For her to finally understand that her needs are most important would take a tremendous change in the way she thinks itself.

That kind of transformation doesn't happen overnight.

The MC has two options to help Hana. The first option is to boost her confidence, by stating that Olivia is threatened by her. To us now, this seems naive because the MC has no idea how cut-throat the competition is, nor what the Council is actually looking for when it comes to choosing a future Queen, but it does tell Hana something interesting.

MC: It's no wonder Olivia is threatened by you.

Hana: But you're not.

MC: I'm not like Olivia.

Remember how Hana tells us, after telling Olivia off at the coronation ball, that it was cathartic because she grew up around girls exactly like her? I wouldn't be surprised if Hana was so used to the sight of girls bringing other girls down that she is genuinely surprised to see a woman who doesn't need to. If anything, I think this dialogue shows how impressed she is that that MC is so self-secure, and decides to emulate that in some way - especially by coming to her aid when the MC doesn't understand certain things.

The second option is to convince Hana to toughen up, by telling her that Olivia senses weakness. Hana agrees, and we do notice that the only person she really lets her guard down to is the MC herself.

No matter which option the reader chooses, it is clear that Hana's transformation has already begun.

Think back to Book 2, Chapter 4, where Hana impresses two potential suitors at the picnic. They may leave the place intrigued by her beauty and talent, but Hana openly confesses that she feels nothing. In public. In front of the other ladies of the court. She feels no shame in admitting this, she doesn't blame herself for not being grateful enough. She states it as a simple fact. She has finally begun to accept, in some small ways, that there really is nothing wrong with her.

Hana Lee has, indeed, come a long way.

Your View

1. If you don't take any of Hana's diamond scenes, what impression would you be left with of her character?

2. How significant do you think Hana's change has been over the course of Book 1, and what we have seen of Book 2? What else do you think is in store for her?

(This is the first in a series of essays on Hana Lee's diamond scenes in The Royal Romance. The questions at the end are optional)