#and if one might think it's typical of Kaito since contradiction is his thing

[meimi-haneoka]

{drabble} Somewhere I belong - Kaito/Akiho

This is the second Kaito x Akiho / YunaAki drabble that is paired with the first one I wrote from Akiho's POV. Please read that one first so you can have a better understanding of the situation!

The setting is the same as the first drabble, but Kaito's thoughts drift all over the place because....well, he's Kaito. He's been officially named as the "overthinker" by CLAMP so now I'm going to call him that for quite some time 😂

As you will be able to see, while Akiho thought to herself without problems that she loved him, you won't see Kaito thinking that, here. This is a very early stage of their new life and he's still far from acknowledging any of that, but he's starting to come to terms with things, at least.

This one might be a bit more angstier than the other one, again because this is Kaito we're talking about. His self-loathing won't disappear overnight. But I hope that the finale will comfort you, at least. ❤️

Once again, I'm not a native English speaker so forgive me if any line sounds weird!

P.s. Dandelion, thank you again! P.s.2 Yes, I also like Linkin Park 😁

Excerpt:

“I’m sorry...”, I blurted out, in a whisper. Every time we ended up in this situation, I would apologize. And she would never reply to it.   Maybe an apology wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but I had yet to find out what were the right words to say. 

Kaito's POV

I don't think I'll ever be able to forget it. 

The way she looked at me when they told her everything, that night.  The way she had slowly turned her head and kept her gaze fixed on me, while the British magician rattled off all that my plan had entailed, down to the way it had affected my body. He recovered all the previous memories, and he knew Akiho-san needed an explanation more than anyone else, but also knew I was in no condition (neither mental, nor physical) to give it to her. I could feel her gaze piercing through me, while someone was helping me sitting down, as I couldn't even stand up. 

Her hands gripped tightly the tablet, shaking. Her blue eyes, usually crystalline and bright like the Caribbean Sea, darkened several shades and became like a raging storm. They once again glazed over with emerging tears, but she probably held them back, because not even one dropped. 

And I felt so weak. My guilt, growing again by the second.   I would've given anything to remove that hardened gaze from her and bring back the soft features I've always known. But you see, that was my problem.   Giving everything the way I did before wasn’t the correct answer. And I had finally surrendered to the truth, that night.  But I didn't know any other way. I simply didn't know how to express how important she is to me without pushing it to an extreme, and that was exactly how we came to that point.  

I don’t know when exactly I started to hear that voice inside of me, telling me that I wanted to connect with her. 

I could hear it every day, before I carried out my plan. Louder and louder and louder. Kicking and screaming inside of me. I tried to fight it for so long, forcing myself not to hear it. But when she asked Sakura-san to bring me back, and she stated that she refused to keep living a fabricated life, wanting to go back to what she had before with me, I suddenly grew so tired. So, so tired. I was exhausted. I didn't want to fight it anymore. 

I've fought countless magicians ever since I was a little boy, and defeated every single one of them. People kept me at a distance for that. And yet, completely oblivious to all of that, she was the one who defeated me every single time.   Even this time around, she won. She won over that brutal, devastating desire to disappear forever that had consumed my life to such degree. She won over my guilt and self-loathing that I, quite frankly, haven’t got rid of yet. 

So here I was, now, clinging to her like a lifeline in the kitchen, while I waited to regain control of my breathing. I had tried to hide it from her, the first couple of times after I got back on my feet, following that fateful night. But she found out every single time and made very clear that if we wanted to live together from now on, this had to stop. I didn't know what to do with myself anymore. Why was I fighting it again?  So I did as she requested, and by now, this was already the third episode of seizure she had witnessed. 

I didn't know.... how any of this worked. But I wanted to learn. I wanted to try. 

I was slowly starting to get it. Why I caved in and agreed to go back to her, that night, despite how confused I was and how much I still despised myself for making her cry like that.   She made me feel wanted.   Made me feel accepted. Made me feel like I finally belonged somewhere. I hadn’t realized how much I actually had yearned for that, all this time. 

I thought I was nothing to her. I thought that she could've lived perfectly fine without me, without remembering anything of what we experienced together. Because, in the end, who was I? Just her butler. I embarked on that mission with the full understanding that I would've always been just her butler, and I played that part till the end at the best of my ability. An expendable tool to let her reach the happiness she deserved.  

But I wasn't. I wasn't, and I couldn't see that. I could only finally realize it that night in the most harrowing way possible, causing that face I wished to see eternally smile to be tainted with burning tears, as she poured out all her pain. Pain that I had caused. This wasn't the kind of support she wanted from me, and I failed her terribly. 

I was willing to do anything to make things right. So when she asked me, no, rather demanded to not be kept in the dark whenever I had one of my seizures, I had no choice but to comply. That was what she wanted, and there was no way I could refuse it to her. 

But now that the medicine was finally starting to kick in, and my breathing stabilized to a more normal rate, I raised my head to look at her worried face and I couldn’t help but think how unfair all of this was on her. She was so young, and she didn’t deserve to withstand all of this because of my choices.  

“I’m sorry...”, I blurted out, in a whisper. Every time we ended up in this situation, I would apologize. And she would never reply to it.   Maybe an apology wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but I had yet to find out what were the right words to say. 

She helped me stand up and supported me all the way to the couch, where I finally laid down and released the tension from my stiffened muscles. Seizures usually left me completely exhausted and sore.  

She sat down on the floor next to the couch, and we exchanged a long, wordless stare. Her eyes were again clear and bright. Before I drifted in a dreamless heavy sleep, I remember I felt so grateful to have her by my side.   I didn’t deserve it.   But the warmth I felt in my chest, contrarily to before, felt so nice.   And I was pretty sure she was the cause of it. 

[clairekatswritingcorner]

Kaito Kid’s Miraculous Night

Part One

Part Two

Word Count: 2,696

Summary: Kaito Kuroba has been searching for the Pandora gem ever since he discovered it’s possible existence and implication in his father’s death. Upon learning some rumors from his friend Akako about gems that grant people mystical and transformative powers, known as Miraculous Stones, he decides that it’s his duty to go to Paris and investigate. Tagging along with Hakuba, who happened to be going anyway due to a case, Kaito hopes that what little information he’s been able to glean is enough of a lead to help him hunt down the most interesting gems he’s had the opportunity to target yet.

Author’s Note: This piece is an intro of sorts for an AU started by @edorazzi and I connecting the Magic Kaito and Miraculous Ladybug (PV) universes. There are some examples of ideas Josie’s drawn on her blog (which I encourage you to check out), and this was my own interpretation of a possible first encounter between Kaito Kid and the Miraculous Holders. This seems like a beginning to something, and that’s because in terms of the AU it is, but I have no idea if I’ll ever have the energy or the inspiration to plan out a full fic. (ーー;) Either way, I put a lot of work into this piece and I really hope people enjoy it.

(both parts also available on my Ao3 account, found on my blog links)

Moonlight illuminated the inky Parisian sky. Stars twinkled alongside its gentle glow, complementing the radiant city lights. A lone figure clothed in striking white perched on the edge of a building, surveying the tranquil scene. He tipped his hat backwards and exhaled softly, smiling at the moon. In a way he had come to revere its alleviating light and quiet watchfulness considering it had been his silent companion in so many ways. His location wasn’t anything special, and although there were some who would argue he wasn’t either, there was evidence to contradict that. He contemplated his next move, turning from the moon to the city. A passing breeze billowed his cape as he adjusted his monocle and leaned forward, squinting  at some of the signs and buildings close enough for him to examine.

“This is pointless,” he said, pinching the bridge of his nose as he took a seat on the building’s edge. “Akako said they liked to show up on rooftops, so here I am! I’m starting to think they really are urban legends.”

He kicked his feet, eyes straying back to the sky. “I have more important things to do, like investigating jewels!”

Only the buzz of the city replied to his disgruntled monologue, and Kaito flopped onto his back, resting his hat and hands on his stomach. He was tired, confused, agitated, and a little hungry. This was the fifth consecutive night he had stayed up to traverse the city in the hope of finding any trace of the alleged Miraculous Holders. According to Akako, they were people of dubious name and even more dubious existence who were able to utilize the power of magical gems to defend Paris from abnormal threats.

The idea of magical gems that granted people powers sealed Kaito’s decision to nag Hakuba into taking him along on his trip to Paris. Akako and Aoko had already been invited, unbeknownst to Kaito, and after the initial bitterness at being passively left off the trip’s guest list, he transitioned full force into preparing for what might be found abroad. With Akako and Hakuba at his disposal, he hoped to go into the situation with about as much information as usual. Aoko was equally likely, even if she wasn’t in on the secret, to be a capable information gatherer and keen civilian surveyor, someone who would notice the one thing everyone else overlooked.

Kaito had been fired up, ready to tackle an international clue that had the potential to wrap up at least a part of his most outstanding problems. He never planned to stop with just shattering the gem, intent on getting to the bottom of what actually happened to his father. Knocking the Pandora gem out of the equation might stir up enough trouble to get the bigwigs behind that morbid task out of the woodwork and remove Kaito’s most significant distraction when dealing with them.

He did feel a small pang in his heart at the idea that by the end of this trip, his career as Kaito Kid might be over. He had come so far and accomplished so much as Kid. He’d had so many adventures, met so many people, made so many memories. Taking up his father’s mantle had also helped him remain close to him in a way that Kaito wasn’t sure he could replace with anything else. There was a part of him that would sorely miss all of the things that being Kaito Kid allowed him to do, as well as how it made him feel. But all of that could be dealt with after he completed his main objective, and right now his leads had practically gone cold.

“Why can’t Akako just gaze into her crystal ball and find out their location or something?” he lamented, twirling his hat with his hands. “I bet she’s holding out on me, there’s something she’s not telling me. Would it be worth it to interrogate her? She’d probably get defensive…”

He sat up, resituating his hat. “Welp, I’ve still got a few more hours. Might as well retrace my steps.”

It was his only idea, and he suspected it would prove fruitless. His biggest problem wasn’t not knowing where they were, it was not knowing where it would be best to wait for them. If these people really had otherworldly powers like Akako said, for all Kaito knew they were actively avoiding him, laughing as he ran around in circles. He wasn’t the type to quit when faced with a difficult challenge, and he also wasn’t the type to go into a situation blind. He hated playing the waiting game, relying on chance, hoping that things would just come to a head in exactly the way he needed them to. It wasn’t his work ethic and, frankly, it wasn’t his style.

As though the universe had finally started listening to his mental and verbal distaste, an unusual light and crashing sounds started making a commotion a few alleys over. Kaito lept to his feet, gliding across the next few buildings before peering down to examine the unexpected scene. A fight had broken out, and it wasn’t the typical back alley brawl one might expect. Two people clad in outfits almost as peculiar as Kaito’s were bouncing around the alley like frogs, hopping and cartwheeling and ricocheting off walls in an attempt to dodge the attacks from their opponent. They, too, were strangely dressed and wearing what looked to be face paint, swinging their hands around and throwing invisible objects that appeared to actually have an affect on the physical plane.

Kaito tripped backwards, barely managing to escape the invisible object that whizzed past him into the sky. He had registered the air movement as it passed, and it’s startling explosion above him proved that there was definitely something going on beyond his comprehension. Before he could celebrate stumbling upon this unexpected jackpot, the figures from the alley made their way to the rooftops, two of them landing on the one he was standing on while the other landed opposite.

“You’re not going to get away this time!” a feminine voice barked, followed by the form of someone who looked to be wearing a ladybug themed jumpsuit. She lunged at the burly yet finely dressed person before her, their face painted in a style Kaito didn’t immediately recognize.

This opponent remained silent and knocked the girl back with what appeared to be nothing, although the force with which she was thrown and the impact indicated that she had been struck by something. Kaito rushed to her side, attempting to ensure the blow hadn’t knocked her out, but she recovered quickly and shoved him away with a strength that made him realize just how evenly matched she and her opponent were. She resumed her fighting stance before the expression on her face shifted to one of confusion, properly registering Kaito’s presence.

“What in the…who are you? What are you doing up here?”

Kaito opened his mouth to respond, but the air was knocked out of his lungs as the girl tackled him to the ground. He tried to lift his head, his vision dizzy as he realized she had seemingly saved him from another invisible blow. A black streak slashed through the stars for a moment, and Kaito chalked it up to just another side effect of the sudden impact. Regaining his composure, his expression shifted into a flirtatious smirk at his savior, his sarcastic side getting the best of him before she used his face to shove herself back to her feet.

Kaito could sense she was eager to ask more questions, but the man she was currently engaged in battle with was formidable enough to require all of her attention. Kaito stood and adjusted his gloves, realizing on closer inspection that the man with the strange face paint was actually dressed as a mime. A mime who could materialize real weapons from just his movement, apparently. That was a level of supernatural mayhem Kaito hadn’t expected to come across in his search for the mysterious Miraculous Stones.

His contemplation was interrupted again as the mime launched another attack that Kaito barely dodged, his senses finally adjusting to the situation. He pulled his card gun from its holster, firing a few shots past the mime’s eyes to create just enough of a distraction that the girl was able to kick his feet out from under him. She took a few steps back herself, panting as she shot Kaito a confused look, clearly unsure of whether this gesture was enough to determine whether he was friend or foe. The fact that she didn’t immediately turn on him at least meant that in some capacity she was grateful.

“I’ll ask you again, who are you? And how did you get up here?”

“I could ask you the same thing, Mademoiselle,” the words felt interesting, smoothly rolling off his tongue. “It appears you have just as much explaining to do as I.”

The mime was seemingly incapacitated for the moment, and Kaito wondered if she had struck him with something similarly unseen to paralyze him. He took a hesitant step forward, reminding himself to not make the mistake of portraying just how anxious or confused he really was. The girl remained still, her fists still clenched and her knees still bent should she need to strike at a moment’s notice. She did seem to give off both the look and the vibe of a flamboyant vigilante or wannabe superhero, but until he knew what her connection or knowledge of the Miraculous Stones was, or really anything more about the situation, he couldn’t be too hasty.

“I asked first, and you’re not in any position to be bargaining with me,” she replied stiffly, and before Kaito could blink something knocked the card gun from his hand. He glanced at his stinging palm before returning his gaze to the girl, her stance still guarded as she absently twirled the yoyo she had used to disarm him. “I’m not too keen on getting civilians involved in my work, and I’m even less keen on letting them get away after seeing too much.”

“What are you gonna do, hypnotize me?” he replied, eyeing the toy that he was beginning to understand was a much more formidable tool than it appeared. “I promise, Mademoiselle, I mean no harm. And I’m nothing like your typical civilian.”

“So what business do you have wandering around the rooftops dressed like a snowcone?” she persisted, tucking the yoyo in her hip pouch. “Just because you’re not typical doesn’t mean you have any right to be involved.”

“I’m in the middle of an investigation,” he explained, deciding that giving her part of the truth might help ease the tension. “You might even be able to help me out. I’m a purveyor of fine jewels and unusual artifacts. I’ve been told that there are objects in this city fitting both descriptions that have piqued my interest.”

Her fists tightened at his words, and he stopped his advance towards her. “Please, you don’t have to get defensive. I’m not in league with whoever that man attacking you was. To be honest I have no idea what kind of situation I just stumbled on or who you or anyone else is. But if you know anything about those gems…the Miraculous Stones…I would be very grateful to hear whatever you know.”  

The girl shifted her weight, tapping a finger against her arm and hardening her gaze. After everything he had just seen and experienced, Kaito was sure that she was one of the people he needed to find. He had to exercise every ounce of control and finesse that he had to ensure that she didn’t dart away and return him to his cold, blank trail.

“You want to know about the Miraculous Stones…why?”

She did have some sort of information about them then…this was going to be a difficult conversation to navigate.

“Because I’m not the only one looking for them, and I want to secure them before people with bigger and badder plans than me can.” Maybe playing the ‘I’m one of the good guys, just like you’ cards would be enough to sway her judgement. “I’ve been scouting the city for a few days now, trying to find some trace of them. There isn’t a lot of time, and after what you’ve just been through, I’d say you understand where I’m coming from almost better than me.”

The girl swept her eyes up and down him, taking a step closer, though not enough that he could reach her with an arm or leg. She brushed some of her dark hair behind her ear, revealing an earring, no, a dazzling red and black stone that shined with and otherworldly scarlet glow. Kaito felt his chest tighten as he swallowed, trying to conceal the trembling in his hands. His gaze locked onto the object that had spurred him to come to Paris, the object that could possibly be the key to unlocking not only the truth of his father’s death, but also the secret to immortality, a burden that he would cradle in and summarily shatter with his own hands.

“The Miraculous Stones are safe with their holders, and none of us are interested in passing them off to some obvious Lupin wannabe,” the girl scoffed, her gentle and soothing tone contradicting the searing edge of her remarks. “If you came to Paris to steal some gems and spark some sort of publicity grabbing controversy, your journey ends here.”

Kaito was only really paying attention to half of her words, his feet subconsciously carrying him forward as he became enchantingly overcome with hope. He had seen and held so many precious and unique jewels in his hands, peering into their empty and disappointing cores with the help of the moon that still shone like a spotlight over them now. Never had he felt so close to his goal, however, considering the magic he had just witnessed with his own two eyes. He had observed gems with magical and hidden properties before, but never ones that radiated such a stunning red glow, and never ones that had actually granted their owner supernatural powers.

He knelt before her and gracefully clasped one of her hands, pressing his lips to the back in a reflexive gesture. “Mademoiselle, although they cannot compare to the radiance of your visage, I would be honored if you would allow me to borrow the dazzling gems decorating your ears.”

The girl giggled, slipping her hand out of his grasp and re-crossing her arms, albeit this time in a much more amused manner. “You really think that’s all it takes to get your hands on these? Are you sure you aren’t new to this?”

Aside from being stunningly insulted, Kaito was at a loss for how to respond. He couldn’t remember the last time his charms hadn’t worked on someone, and in the panic of being this close to the stones that had a high likelihood of being the Pandora he had spent so many months and heists pining for, he was having trouble processing what his next move should be. He cleared his throat, giving an amused chuckle in return as he rose to his feet.

“I was under the impression we had some sort of understanding, since you were kind enough to admit that you do have the stones in your possession.” He stretched out his arm, caressing her cheek with his fingers as his eyes remained pinned on the gems glowing on her ears. “What would it take for you to allow me to examine them more closely?”

The girl’s blue eyes were unreadable and deep. He could tell from her expression that she was slightly unsettled, but still firm in her decision to keep her distance from him. That was alright, just a little more persuasion, or just the right shock, and he could swipe the gems from her ears no problem. He had especially quick hands after all. He closed his eyes, his palm nestling her cheek as he inched his face towards hers.