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blackshadowswriter · 2 years ago

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Everyone Knew Except Us

Bucky Barnes x fem!reader Fanfic

AN: Request from @arabianflowers for the good ole rivals/enemies to lovers trope!!! My first Bucky fanfic on here, so let me know what you think! 🖤

REQUESTS FOR BUCKY ARE OPEN!!!

CW: swearing, i guess (half this fic is the reader and Bucky seeing who can insult the other more and the other half is also them being madly in love)

Music blasts in your earbuds as you run on the treadmill, breathing hard as you reach the last few paces of your morning training. Sweat drips down your forehead as you push past the 10 mile mark and slow the treadmill down to a walk as you breathe heavily.

Finally done, you step off the treadmill on jelly legs and plop down on the floor, grabbing your water bottle and taking big gulps. You sit there for a few minutes as your heartbeat slowly comes down from its racing pulse.

You're just starting to cool off when the gym door swings open, and your least favorite person in the team and perhaps the world steps through the door.

Your previously high mood plummets to your feet as Bucky freaking Barnes comes into the training room and pauses when he catches sight of you.

"Oh, you're here" is the first thing that comes out of Barnes's mouth.

He's in a black shirt that wraps so tightly around his muscular frame, it should be a sin. You think you can see his six pack through that shirt. A pair of grey sweatpants hang low on his hips. Of course, the sight of that alone makes your mouth run dry and heat flare in your face, but you dismiss the feeling as dislike for the incredibly hot annoying man in front of you.

You get to your feet and sneer at him. "Yeah, I am, dipshit. Deal with it or leave."

He scoffs. "I'm not leaving. You're not going to be here for long anyways."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You don't look like you could lift another finger, L/N," Bucky remarks with an arrogant smirk. "Did your 5 second run wear you out that much?"

"If you ran like you did your mouth, you'd be in perfect shape," you snap back.

"I already am, doll," Barnes says, spreading his arms slightly, which tightens his shirt even further around his obviously sculpted physique.

You pretend like that little gesture doesn't nearly make you fall back down. Gritting your teeth, you snarl, "Don't you dare call me that, Barnes."

"Sure, doll," he replies, winking at you. You know he's doing it because you hate it—he's been doing this for as long as you two have known each other (or rather, mutually put up with each other's existence).

"You are the human version of a headache, Asshole Barnes," you grumble.

"That's Sergeant Barnes for you," he corrects.

You roll your eyes as you scoop your things up. "Well, my middle finger salutes you, Sergeant," you say, making sure he can see your finger pointing up at him.

Bucky scoffs as he makes his way to the weight station. He adds several weights to a ridiculously large dumbbell. Of course he's showing off.

"You always act like you don't give a shit, don't you, L/N?" he retorts.

"Who says I'm acting? 'Cause I'm not, you know."

Rolling his eyes, he slides the snap lock onto the dumbbell and tests its weight. As he gives the dumbbell a few curls, you can't help but to stare at his muscles bulging through his shirt. He's hot—there's no denying that fact. But the fact still stands that he's an asshole.

A hot asshole, but an asshole nonetheless.

Then, Bucky looks up, and his gaze catches yours staring at him. Your face flares red, and you quickly avert your eyes, determinedly focusing them on the very interesting wall. Out of the corner of your gaze, you can see Bucky smirking.

"Shut up," you snarl before he can say anything.

"Wasn't going to say anything, doll," Bucky replies, but he still has that incredibly smug smirk on his face.

With a huff, you stand and grab your things, quickly making your way across the gym to the door before you can embarrass yourself further. Bucky's eyes follow you all the way, his gaze burning a hole through you. Thankfully, he makes no comment as you yank the door open and slam it shut behind you.

****************************************************************

Natasha finds you in the kitchen shoveling a bowl of cereal into your mouth.

"Morning, Y/N," she says as she reaches into the fridge for some milk.

"Morning, Nat," you grumble, eating another spoonful.

"Someone's grumpy," Natasha remarks. "What's up?"

You scowl at a soggy Frosted Flake. "The dickhead in the gym is what's up. I can't stand him."

Natasha snickers as she plops down next to you and grabs the box of cereal. "I assume you're talking about Barnes? I ran into him on the way here."

"He's a pain in my ass," you growl, violently scooping up more cereal.

Nat taps her spoon against the side of her bowl in consideration. "Have you ever considered, Y/N, that if the two of you would stop trying to cut each other's throat, you guys would make a great couple?"

You choke on Frosted Flakes. "What? Are you insane, Natasha? He hates my guts, and I loathe his very existence." You goggle at her. "Why the fuck would we be a couple?!"

Fixing you with a really look, Natasha sighs as she pours milk into her bowl. "Do I have to explain? Both of you are obviously into each other—"

You cut her off with a splutter of outrage. "I am not!" you proclaim loudly. "Absolutely not! I'd rather roll in a mud pit and jump in a pool of acid rain before I'd find him hot."

Natasha smirks slowly. "You know, I never said you found him hot."

Your cheeks burn when you realize your mistake. "I mean—well, I assumed—you said that we—Nat!" you complain as the redhead starts laughing.

She shakes her head as she stifles her snickers. "The two of you are more into each other than either of you think. You find him hot, he finds you hot—the two of you really should just cut the chase and kiss already."

You stare at Natasha with wide eyes and your jaw hanging open. "What...why...how would you know he finds me—?"

"The two of you are not subtle," Natasha says, raising an eyebrow at you. "You both go at each other like rabid dogs, biting each other's heads off, and then the next moment you're all heart eyes behind each other's back. Don't think I haven't seen it."

"I'm—I'm not—that's not—"

There's a sly smirk on Natasha's face as she gets up from the chair next to you and takes her bowl to the sink.

"Think about it, Y/N," she says in a sing song voice and saunters out the kitchen, leaving you staring at your soggy cereal, contemplating your entire life choices.

She's wrong, you think. There is absolutely no way she's right. You are not into Barnes, and you definitely don't think he's into you.

That last thought causes a little stab of—what is that, disappointment?—in your heart. You chase it away as fast as you can. You don't care what he thinks. You're glad he doesn't like you! You're repulsed by that very thought.

But are you?

The image of him in that sinfully tight t-shirt lifting in the gym crosses your mind.

Stop.

That time you got distracted on a mission because you were too busy watching Bucky fight in his stupid, sexy way.

No, we don't think about that.

Even the small things he did when he didn't know you were watching: the way his nose would do that adorable scrunch when he laughed at something Steve said, the way he tucked his hair behind his ear as his gorgeous blue eyes sparkled, the way his lips tilted up into his ridiculously hot smirk even when it was mocking you.

Oh my God.

I think I am into him.

You had just come to this horrifying realization when you heard someone clear their throat. Your head snapped up for your gaze to meet two piercing, blue eyes.

You swallowed thickly. The last thing you needed was a confrontation with Bucky right after the ground-breaking revelation you just had.

For once, however, he's not looking at you with irritation or spite on his face. HIs cheeks are a little pink, and his eyes are a little wide as he looks at you. Bucky's standing at the doorway, and his eyes dart to Natasha's retreating back. You suddenly understand.

'Oh God," you groan, leaning forward to cover your face. "Please don't tell me you heard that entire conversation."

Bucky coughs slightly. "I, uh...I didn't mean to."

You sigh loudly. "If you're here to rub it in, you can leave."

He's silent for a few seconds. "Were you...were you telling the truth?" he asks softly.

"What?" you snap.

"That you find me hot."

"No!" you yelp way too fast to be believable as you turn an embarrassing shade of red. "I—absolutely not!"

There's a slow grin crossing Bucky's face. "You do," he concludes.

"No!" you shout, burying your face in your arms. "I do not!"

You hear his soft laughter, and for once it isn't condescending or annoying. It actually sounds kind of sweet. His footsteps come closer to you, and there's the quiet scrap of the chair legs on the floor. You pull your head out of your arms to see Bucky sitting down next to you in the chair Natasha had been in a few moments ago.

Bucky looks at you seriously. It makes you squirm—you hate heart-to-hearts. They make you way too uncomfortable.

"You really like me?" he asks quietly, his face earnest.

You bite your lip nervously. "If I say yes, are you going to laugh in my face and reject me?"

He laughs gently, which is probably the first time he's done anything gentle when it comes to you. "No," he promises.

For some reason, you believe him. "A little, then," you admit.

"Just a little?" Is he teasing you and not actually trying to hurt you?

"I'm not giving you ammunition to hold over my head," you still say stubbornly. "Not until you give me something."

Bucky gives you a soft smile, and he reaches over to slide his fingers under your chin, tilting your face up. "What if I told you I've been hoping to hear that confession for a long time?"

"Really?" you breathe.

"Really," he murmurs. His eyes are really gorgeous up close. This is the closest you've been to him, excluding that time you got up in his face to knee him in the stomach.

"You're beautiful," Bucky says. "And funny too."

"When I insult you?"

"You have no idea how many times I've wanted to laugh when you insult me, doll."

The nickname that you've heard him utter so many times to your annoyance makes your face heat up when you realize he's saying it sincerely this time.

"Why did you hate me?" you whisper.

"I don't," Bucky confesses. "I just didn't know how to approach you. I thought you hated me."

You give a little laugh and shake your head. "I hated you because I thought you hated me."

"We both got off on the wrong foot, didn't we?"

You hum in agreement. His bright gaze is fixed on your lips now.

"May I?" he asks quietly.

He's such a gentleman.

You nod breathlessly, and he leans forward, his lips finally meeting yours. You've always secretly thought he'd be a good kisser with those plump lips, and you were right. Bucky kisses you sweet and slow, making butterflies erupt in your stomach. His hands cup your face gently as he holds you against him.

By the time he pulls away, it feels like your brain has melted into your shoes. Bucky's eyes sparkle as he takes in your expression.

A loud ha! comes from the doorway and makes both of you jump. Natasha's standing there with a victorious grin on her face. She points at you and then Bucky.

"I told you! I told you! Haha!" She sprints down the hallway shouting, "Sam! They did it!"

Sam's voice shouts from the gym: "Finally!"

You look back at Bucky. "Did everyone know except us?"

He grins. "I think so, doll."

AN: It's a little on the shorter side, but that's because I rewrote this thing three times with three different versions, so 🤷‍♀️ I hope you liked it!

I'm taking requests for Bucky, so send me all your ideas, I'd love to write them! 😍

If you enjoyed, please remember to leave a like, reblog, and comment. It always helps so much🥰🖤

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dragonmuse · 2 years ago

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Could you tell us more about your running? Why you do it, what it means to you, and if you want, your typical mileage/paces?

I can! It's a long explanation, sorry. You may all have noticed I don't do concise really.

Content warning: health and weight talk to follow (no specific numbers mentioned)

I am not a natural athlete to start with and I much prefer curling up on my couch then working out much of the time. Periodically over the last decade or so, I have re-resolved myself and managed to make it a few months before falling off again.

Then the pandemic happened. And my blood pressure, never awesome, started to soar. I was working full time as was my husband and we had a kid at home, so like for so many of us, it was pretty stressful and my relationship with food went totally toxic. On the plus side though, I was working out my gender identity, was back in therapy for the first time since my teens and got over a seventeen year paralyzing fear of the dentist to finally get my teeth fixed.

I arrived in February this year the largest I've ever been and probably the most mentally healthy I'd been in a decade. I don't mind being fat, I've been some level of fat my entire adult life. So none of this was in the goal to become less fat, I want to be amply clear on that. It's a byproduct, but not the goal.

The goal was twofold, to build a better relationship with food and to get my blood pressure down as much as I can naturally. I will go on meds if required, but would love to put it off if I can. My doctor thinks this is possible, so I'm operating under her guidance (plus some common sense, someone save us all from doctors who think fast, extreme weight loss is a good thing).

So I bought the cheapest pair of running shoes that still looked like they'd hold up and set out. I started with a couch to five k program and on completion just kept going.

Why running?

I can just step outside my front door and do it. I live in a quiet neighborhood and that's where I do all my running. Just me and whatever other suburban dweller is out getting in their morning air.

I hate gyms. I don't want to go to a class or be taught how to use a machine. Working out already makes me feel vulnerable, I do not wish to interface with anyone else.

I have, against all odds, come to enjoy doing it. This didn't happen the last two times I tried this and I think it was because of the treadmill. This year I have run through rain, freezing and melting temperatures and I have no regrets. I really prefer being outside and there is something exhilarating about taking your frail human meat sack out into the elements and saying 'ha! I am capable of running down a sprinting prey animal out of sheer endurance, not that I would, but you know the theory is sound'.

I can totally disassociate at a certain point. A lot of exercise requires you to be very present. As long as I'm paying enough attention not to get hit by a car or fall over, I can think about what the hell Izzy or Eddy or someone else is up to and daydream my way through working out. It's awesome and has made many words flow.

So what does it mean to me? It means trying to stay on this fucked up planet as long as I can for my kid. Yes, I like feeling healthy for myself blah blah blah, but I brought my kid into the world and I'll be damned if I'm leaving him a parent short for even a minute longer than I have to. This is survival, baby. I ain't eating this much fucking salad because it's fun.

And...okay yeah, it means that I'm proud of myself every time I do it. Every time I get up and move this shambling mortal shell and make it do things it couldn't do even a few months ago is pretty cool, I guess.

As far as mileage and pace, I am so fucking slow, but I am getting faster! Mileage is also building up. I run two to three times on a weekday at about 15:45 a mile for two and a half miles. On Saturdays when I have more time, I go for three and a half miles and last time I got to 15:09 a mile which was frankly miraculous. In March I was lucky to get under 17 minutes for two miles, so I'm pretty pleased with that progress.

Right now, I'm trying to build endurance and speed very slowly. I don't really have time to go for a long run more than once a week, but my next goal is to hit four miles on a Saturday and maybe get a 14 minute mile going.

Also, no one asked, but I listened to an 80s cardio station on pandora for the first few months and that's where most of the titles for the stories came from. Recently switched to the larger mix of a running channel to change things up.

#running #and writing a little I suppose

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sagemusesoutloud · 3 years ago

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Anti-Romantic, Part 1

(credit to the original owner of the image)

Character | Jaehyun x reader Genre | nonidol!au, Mutual Pining, Slowburn, Fluff WordCount | 3.6 K Author'sNote | lmaoooo the fact that I intended this to be a oneshot type of thing oops. Wellllll, I tried. Most likely to be a two part series, but we'll see.

This is part of a series I intend to call "If Songs were Fics" and this particular one was loosely inspired by TXT's Anti-Romantic bc I'm obsessed. I hope you enjoy reading as much I enjoyed writing it!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

I don't know who loves me

And I don't care, It's a waste anyways

A romantic feeling, Kinda scares me

“Any plans for you birthday next week?”

Jaehyun shakes his head at you, “no, not yet, don’t you have that date with that barista?”

“I’m not sure, he’s been acting weird over text lately. Might not be worth it,” you shrug your shoulders. “Besides, it’s your birthday! You only get one of those a year, we should plan something.”

You were on your way to the gym, a ritual you and Jaehyun had ever since you both found out you worked for the same company. You had been childhood friends, but ended up losing touch since you went to separate universities.

It was a nice surprise to see a friendly face on the first day of orientation and throughout the duration of your training for the next six weeks. Although you were both from different departments, you enjoyed taking your lunch breaks together and sharing small gossip about your old class-mates.

“ugh, don’t remind me,” he let’s out a long sigh, “every year, it seems like my family won’t stop pestering me about starting a family.”

“What’s so wrong about that?”

“Nothing, just not for me. Or at least not yet. I don’t think I’m the type to settle down,” he shrugs again as if it were no big deal.

You gasp, “how could you say that? I’ve seen your insta account. It’s got your cousin’s kids all over it!” You stop to take a good look at him as he holds the door of the gym open for you. “Back in school too, you used to tutor those elementary kids for volunteering hours. Even when you didn’t need them. You’ve always liked kids.”

“That’s different…”

“Right. Totally different things. Got it,” you roll your eyes. This wasn’t the first time he mentioned not wanting to settle down. At first, you had thought it was because he liked ‘keeping his options open’ like back in high-school. Or, not that you knew for sure, but if the rumors were true then it meant he slept his way around. Apparently, he never slept with someone twice and despite the cold shoulder the other party would get, all you had ever heard were praises. Not that you paid that much attention or anything.

You and Jaehyun had the same circle of friends, but despite that, he had never made any advances towards you. You’d be lying if that didn’t bother you at least once or twice. You just assumed that he didn’t want to make the friendship awkward or mess with the friend dynamics of your group. Which was why your crush on him in junior high ended as soon as you got to high-school.

You ended up going on dates with other people, but nothing that kept your interest. Nothing that compared to how you felt around him. Not that he seemed to think the same, so you tried your best to stay the good friend you always have been. You didn’t want to push something he clearly didn’t want; not that it didn’t hurt any less. Throughout the years it’s become bearable, at least. Almost like a painful habit.

You check in and head to the locker rooms to change. His nonchalance about the subject had always puzzled you. You’d seen first hand how all the female coworkers seemed to sway their hips as they walked by him, how some would pop a blouse button more than usual when around him, and you swore no one else was getting that much help throughout training more than him. He was handsome and a gentleman, that much was painfully obvious.

You meet him outside by the water fountain, “ready for warm-up?” he guides your way to the treadmills.

“When’s the last time you dated?”

You would have laughed if you weren’t so shocked to see him trip from the corner of your eye. “why the sudden curiosity?” He finally responds.

“Not sudden, I’d always wondered.” You defended. “You’re good looking and you’re very…I mean, you live on your own and have your own car. You have good relations with your family AND you’re good with kids. So, what is it?” You hadn’t realized how troubling you thought it all was. But now that you started digging you couldn’t stop.

“I just—” you pause, “it doesn’t make sense.”

You hear him chuckle, “you might wanna slow down before you pull something.” You look down and realize that your pace had gone from a relaxed jog to a borderline run during your rant. Maybe this wasn’t the best time to psychoanalyze your only friend in the city.

“Well, I just don’t know how to let people in. It’s just that.” He finally responds. “I love kids, but I don’t know or think I’d be a good partner.” He slows down before stopping, ending the conversation. He waves you off with an easy smile as you stay running.

Huh, maybe you pushed him too far. Your eyes can’t help but follow him around the gym.

Sweet and bitter chocolate, The taste at the end is always the same

Like the saddest movies, Only tears in my eyes

Your hands were sweaty the entire morning, anticipating your lunch time. It was his birthday today, and while you hadn’t made any concrete plans you ended up agreeing to go over to his place after work. Your gym bag was ready with snacks and comfy clothes to stay over. You remembered him saying he was excited to watch that new Marvel movie that had recently come out so you had bought it online to stream it at his place as a surprise. But what had you nervous was the small heart shaped box sitting in your purse. You didn’t know what possessed you to buy it but you had immediately thought of Jae when you passed by it at the mall. You remember vaguely mentioning that it was a special occasion to the sales lady (as in, his birthday), but she must have thought it was your significant other rather than friend because she changed the box to the red velvet shaped one while giving you a wink. In her defense, you could have protested but…why didn’t you?

You hear a knock on your door, “hey little miss sunshine.” Ah, Nakamoto, this couldn’t be good news. He was only sickly sweet to you when he needed a favor.

“What do you want?” you deadpan. He only laughs as he makes himself comfortable in your office. “Well, nothing in particular. Can’t stop by and see how you’re doing?” he feigns hurt.

“Right—the last time you ‘came by’ you left me working over-time through the weekend,” You sigh, “so what is it this time? Missed meeting? Late proposal?” To be fair, your supervisor WAS overworked sometimes. And since you were the only worker under him, it was normal for him to sometimes share some of the load with you.

He smiles at you, “nope. Just have a proposal for you. I know you’ve been working hard these past few months and I’ve been really impressed by your work ethic.” He stands and moves closer to your desk, “And I thought some sort of reward was in order, as well as celebration.” Ok, now you’re confused. You were ok with the reward part, it usually came in the form of a gift card to your favorite coffee shop, but celebration?

“Why would we celebrate? Did I miss something?”

“Not yet, but I did recommend you to the partner position with me. And I wanted to be the first to tell you that the boss approved it earlier today. So, what do ya say? Dinner on me?” he extends his hand out to you and wiggles his eyebrows playfully.

Oh.

Shit! You were hoping this would happen eventually, moving up from the entry-level position you had. But you had never thought it would be this fast. “Oh my gosh, are you serious?” You give him your hand and he shakes it in mock salute.

“Of course, some people will come by to move your computer to the office next to mine. You start Monday!” he winks, “So, wanna go to that new rooftop restaurant? This is a once in a life-time ticket, so you best say yes.”

But your dinner with Jae…He’ll understand, right? He has to. It’s not like he seemed that excited about it anyway. And you could always spend the day together tomorrow, too. It would be pretty rude to turn down Yuta after he pulled some strings for you…

You smile at him, “Thank you Mr. Nakamoto, I won’t let you down as a partner. Yeah, dinner sounds great. Wanna meet there?”

You sit down on the small table, now nervous for other reasons.

Jae sits opposite of you, a small smile on his face. “Hey you,” he greets.

“hey…” you start, “I hate to change plans so suddenly, but…” crap, you feel really shitty. But you really were between a rock and a hard place.

“everything ok?”

“yeah, no. I actually just got promoted,” you start.

“You did? That’s awesome! So fast, too. Wow—but shouldn’t you be more enthusiastic about it?” he chuckles.

“I am, just—my old supervisor wanted to go to dinner to celebrate. And I don’t think I could say no after helping me out like that.”

“I mean, did you want to skip it or?” Now he’s confused.

“Well, he wanted to go out tonight since I start Monday and today’s Friday…I don’t think I can come over tonight,” you explain.

Realization crosses his features before he gives a small smile. “Don’t worry about it, you’re fine. And he’s treating you! You don’t know when the next time he offers might be,” he continues, “we can celebrate another day anyway.”

“Are you sure?” now you feel like shit.

“Of course I’m sure.”

For the rest of the lunch, a thick silence settles before he excuses himself back to work.

Jaehyun knew this was coming. Nothing ever went his way; it’s why he kept everyone at a distance from his heart. But he was weak when it came to you. This game of push and pull was bound to keep happening, and it only brought him that all familiar foul taste in his mouth.

I know, that sweet love song, Those words of promise

When you turn around, It's just an unfamiliar someone

It was why he decided to go else-where for university, instead of joining you and some of your friends to the one closest to home. He chose to go across the globe—far, far away from the curse of you.

It had started on a windy day, back when you were 4 and new to the town he grew up in. Jaehyun didn’t want to leave his mother’s arms, he didn’t like the thought of being with strangers until later in the day even if his mom promised that she would be back. A little girl with jean overalls like his came up to him and his mom, “why are you crying?”

“I am not!” he sniffed. He didn’t need to make new friends like his mom was trying to tell him. All he needed was to go back home. You took out something from your pocket and showed it to him, “look, my mom said I could give one to my first friend. She said it was sharing. Want one?”

In her little palm, were two kiss chocolates. “You’re not my friend,” he grumbled, “I don’t know your name.” At that, you giggled, “I’m Y/N!” you took his hand and placed a chocolate there, “there, now we’re officially friends.”

“See, Jae? You can spend some time with Y/N and have fun. Before you know it, I’ll be back,” she promised.

“Yeah, Jae! Come play blocks with me, and then we can try the coloring.” You held his hand as you led him deeper into the classroom. Just like that, Jae began to feel a little warmth in his chest. He didn’t mind that his favorite thing to do was play tag outside or that he wasn’t really good at coloring inside lines yet. But that didn’t matter to him. As long as he had this one friend around, he was content.

Sorry I'm an anti-romantic, I want to run far away

My heart that already chases after you, Blazes up as a small flame

Looking back at it now, it was a little funny. All it took to let you in back then was a simple chocolate kiss and your little sticky hand in his leading the way. You were always larger than life to him, sometimes he forgot that you were just as human as him.

As you two continued to grow, nothing seemed to change your friendship. But he knew that the depth of his feelings wasn’t mutual. It was in the way that you brought a lot different people together and decided to call it your family. Another of your friends, Jungwoo, liked to joke that you collected introverts for fun. To Jaehyun, it was more likely that you just didn’t see the fun in leaving people out. You were charming and passionate. Traits he wished he had. Your empathetic nature and gentle disposition were all that Jaehyun needed, even if he wasn’t the only recipient.

Once you guys started to hit puberty, things started to feel rocky. Jaehyun couldn’t help but physically distance himself from you, his ears were always red-hot. You had always been pretty to Jaehyun, but you were starting to become really beautiful. And if the boy’s locker rooms’ talk were anything to go by, then other people were definitely starting to realize “what a great catch” you were.

It really pissed him off. Who were they to say things as if all you were was a piece of meat? It disgusted him. But what disgusted him more was the fact that sometimes, he couldn’t help but also feel the way your body felt in his when you hugged in greeting. He hated the way his body reacted to everything you did.

He first messed around with a senior girl back when he was a sophomore, Sooyoung. She was leaving and he couldn’t take it anymore. Your boyfriend was a piece of trash and he was tired of hearing the way he would share what Jae considered to be intimate moments that had no business being public. But you seemed so happy… that next game, Jae stole the ball from him and scored on his own. Even if it cost him a three hour lecture from the coach, he would do it again. Fuck being a team, that guy was an asshole.

What he hadn’t planned on was liking messing around. He would never admit it, but the reason he couldn’t commit was because he couldn’t get rid of that small grain of hope that glowed in his chest every time you stared at him longer than would be deemed normal. It wasn’t often, but he knew he wasn’t seeing things. So, he succumbed to the cycle of push-and-pull that you guys had going on.

Jaehyun wasn’t blind, he knew that your work definitely spoke of your professionalism, but he’s also seen the way Nakamoto stared after you. Of the way his hand would often touch your waist when walking together. Even now, as he hears you apologize through the phone again as you get ready for your “date” with him he can’t help this heart feel heavy with anger. Anger at himself, for letting you slip away once more. He usually hopes for nothing but the best for you, but this time, he wishes you had an awful dinner.

Sorry I'm an anti-romantic, I don't believe in romance

I'm afraid that after burning my whole heart, It will only leave behind ashes

Throughout the entire dinner, you can’t seem to get Jae out of your mind. It keeps you from enjoying the delicious food, keeps you from keeping your usual banter with Nakamoto.

You’re about to call it a night and thank Nakamoto for inviting you out when he beats you to it, “damn, I was hoping this might be a good break from the usual overtime we do, but something tells me your mind has been elsewhere,” he offers good naturedly, “I know it’s valentine’s, so maybe this is why we feel so awkward, right?”.

You grimace a bit at that, “ah—I’m sorry. I really am grateful for the way you look after me in the company and I’m also thankful for this lovely dinner,” you stop a bit, afraid you might offend him, “I agreed to come out tonight, so no need to feel awkward.” You offer a smile.

“Alright then. I guess you already have your sights on someone?” he prods. Should you be honest? There was no rule against dating outside your department, and you were pretty sure your new boss’s wife also worked within the company. “…I do. But I’m pretty sure they don’t feel the same way. It’s been so long since we’ve known each other. Surely if something were to have happened, it would have by now.” You were loosening up, definitely the wine’s fault.

Nakamoto sighs at that, “damn, and here I thought I could woo you after this,” he winks jokingly but you laugh him off. You knew he didn’t care for you that way. “I really hope you’re talking about the guy you always eat lunch with. I swear everyone thought you guys were married when you were released from training.”

“What?! No, I—we’ve been friends since we were children—”

“Aha! So it was him then,” he smirks. “Good.”

You groan, “Please, no.”

“What, it’s not him? You sure about that?”

“I will neither confirm nor deny that statement,” you groan. Why were you discussing your love life? You push the wine away and take a sip of your water.

“Hmm. That’s too bad. Could have sworn that guy was after you.” He stands up. “But fine, I’ll stop prodding.”

You sigh in relief—“for now.” You groan. “What do you even mean by that? You don’t even know him. Or me, or at least personally at least.”

“Mmm, I don’t have to. Some things you just know. Like how he wishes I was six feet under every time we run across him at work,” he sobers up at that. “He seemed like a cool dude, but his glare isn’t too friendly. I don’t know how you fell for that.”

You scoff, “just because someone has a resting bitch face doesn’t mean they’re a bad person.”

You both make your way to the underground parking. “You’re right, it just makes them unapproachable. Is that why you won’t confess?” His genuine tone rubs you the wrong way, you don’t need be given false hope.

“Stop it, you said you would drop it,” you frown, “Anyways, thank you for the food boss—”

“—not your boss anymore. Just call me Yuta, we’re partners now.”

“Aren’t you two years older than me?”

“And?”

You shrug at that, “well, thanks Yuta. For the food, not for the interrogation.” He chuckles at that, nodding while pulling out his car keys. “see you Monday!” he waves you off.

You sigh as you get home. It wasn’t as late as you thought it was, only a few minutes past nine. You really wanted to see him. Would he be busy?

You fish out your phone and dial his number before chickening out.

“Hello?”

“Jae! It’s me. Are you busy right now?” your heartbeat is pounding so loud, you’re scared he could hear it on the other end. “Right now?” you hear shuffling on the other end, “no, I was just reading that book Jungwoo sent me. Might have dozed off a bit into it but don’t tell him I said that,” he chuckles.

“Why, is everything ok? It’s still early, did you end dinner that fast?”

“Oh, Yuta and I called it a night pretty early. Too many couples were out and about and it got a bit awkward,” you explained.

“Yuta?”

“Ah, yes. Yuta Nakamoto, but now that we’re associates, he said it would be better to address him less formally.” You waive him off, “actually, I was wondering—if it’s not too late, can I still come over? If not, that’s cool. We can still hang out tomorrow, but your birthday is today and I thought—”

He laughs at your rambles, “of course you can come over, you know you don’t have to ask. How many times have I told you that?”

“Ok, ok. Just checking,” you still had your comfy change of clothes in your car, so you opt to save those for tomorrow and change into something causal for tonight.

“Do you want me to go get you? We can get ice cream on the way, hopefully they don’t close early.”

“Sounds like a plan then,” curse your heart for melting at everything he says.

“Alright, give me 15 and I’ll be there.” He hangs up.

You look at your bag, resting on your sofa and you sigh. The entire night, it’s almost as if you could feel the weight of his gift weighing it down. Yuta is known for being very observant, it’s why he was so good at his job. Closing deals and making contracts in advertisement. Would he be right about this? You know you desperately wish he was, but is it worth risking your best friend?

EndNote | Woooow, that was a longass ride. Let me know if you liked it or if there are other typos I missed! Or just to let me know what you thought, that would be much appreciated. I'm thinking of finishing it by Sunday 6/13, so hopefully the next part is up by then. Until then!

Here's Part 2!

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cattles-bians · 3 years ago

Text

damie vibecca exes au part 8

post directory

obsetress: now i just want fanart of damvibecca at the gym

em: well. pitch it to me comrade ghostfucker

obsetress: idk that's about as far as i got i just reread that bit about vibecca in their matching gym outfits and my brain got stuck

em: hypothetically do u have a colour palette in mind bc i associate gym outfits w like. bright loud colours and

em: idk if it works w our earth sign queens

[em note: emily is a liar and did NOT draw fanart of damvibecca at the gym]

[em note 2: we have the gym art now [x] [x]]

obsetress: i was imagining like charcoals tbh, or jewel tones

obsetress: i could see them in like jewel tone purples or that jewel tone blue green color

obsetress: yeah viola jewel tones or blacks n charcoals

obsetress: becs pastels and camels but jewel tones at the gym

em: it’s about Matching

em: And Destroying Ur Ex (platonically)

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: viola's feeling particularly smug about it but then

obsetress: dani's in an old school tshirt and shorts and jamie's in............ one of dani's old school tshirts and shorts

em: YES

obsetress: not intentionally, she just grabbed whatever was there

obsetress: dani chirps "oh you two look so cute! baby look, they have a matched set"

obsetress: viola arches an eyebrow "and so do you, it seems" and dani laughs "not on purpose, jamie just grabbed whatever was on top in the drawer"

viola: you two... share... a wardrobe?

dani: yeah?

em: god cute

obsetress: cute n dumb

em: they can share nearly everything except pants

em: well. pants as a treat

em: haha pants

em: trousers

obsetress: also rly nice rly clean smooth funny juxtaposition in my brain of vibecca being the ones who intentionally match and damie the ones for whom it just accidentally happens

obsetress: hahahah pants

obsetress: they can share pants but................ should they

em: idk miss chapter 12 danis thighs jamies pyjamas

em: should they

obsetress: PLEASE

obsetress: that's exactly what i was referring to THANKS

obsetress: anyway

obsetress: rebecca just laughs

obsetress: viola huffs and bex is like "sorry, babe, but it is kind of funny"

em: dani jamie wearing like

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

em: poor viola

obsetress: thinking about dani's ass in those

em: yeah....

em: violas huffing until jamies exercise flush lasts a little Too Long

obsetress: big blush jamie taylor

em: she’s still like ‘oi dani close ur mouth’ but then she

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: just ogling each other

obsetress: (they briefly pause to ogle vi and rebecca passing a medicine ball back and forth as they do squats and have to acknowledge that, yeah, they've all done alright by themselves)

em: funny montage of the gang doing exercise while surreptitiously taking Peaks

obsetress: omg all i want

obsetress:sometimes having friends as a lesbian means they're all your exes except one, who's your gf, and you're all checking each other out always anyway

And That’s Beautiful

obsetress

obsetress: dani: checking out viola's biceps, rebecca's abs

viola: checking out dani's thighs n ass

rebecca: minding her business

jamie: scowling n scrawny

obsetress:(n also checking out dani's thighs n ass, viola's biceps, and begrudgingly peeking at rebecca's abs)

obsetress: every other woman at the gym: checking out jamie, trying to figure out the entire dynamic here

are they a polycule? what

em: jamie probably like

em: maybe she gets really into running bc she just checks out and listens to her audiobooks but like

em: slow twitch vs fast twitch fibers so stays scrawny

obsetress: i can see that

obsetress: just gets on the treadmill and zones tf out

em: jamie ‘why don’t i have biceps’ taylor vs jamie ‘no u gotta lift w ur hips’ taylor

obsetress: she hates it but her psych told her it'll be good for her routine so you know she was like yes ma'am every day ma'am

em: cant believe safe lifting procedures screwed her over

em: ‘yes ma’am every day ma’am’ ur just Going for it arent ya anshdjdh

obsetress: sorry but don't tell me you can't hear it

obsetress: jamie's the person who takes notes in therapy

obsetress: jamie, in the locker room after their workout: do my biceps look bigger?

dani, patiently, already knowing where this is going: bigger than what, baby?

jamie: than yesterday

dani: mm, rome wasn't built in a day, you know

jamie: do they look bigger at all?

dani: well

em: i mean not to perceive her too much but mattresses scene indicates AE/jamie like. at least some muscle in the leg area

em: poor jamie

em: not playing to her strengths

obsetress: yeah she does

obsetress: i mean ae has toned af arms

obsetress: she's just wiry

em: how could i forget the benchpressing dog gif

obsetress: dani's like "jamie, baby, come do squats with me and vi" "m'good" "baby, c'mon, you'll like it" "don't wanna do squats" "it could be good for you" "don't wanna do squats with you two"

em: dani: you gotta like. eat more

jamie: i eat plenty

dani: no u graze all day and then u don’t eat dinner

obsetress: dani: five biscuits spread out across a day doesn't count as eating more

em: dani: protein jamie it’s abt protein

obsetress: dani: you need more protein, which is why i think some lentils would really––

em: jamie thinks protein shakes are Nasty

obsetress: jamie does think protein shakes are nasty but dani will make her a smoothie and sneak it in like she's a child

obsetress: viola and rebecca, with their matching monogrammed blender bottles, just staring

obsetress: becca's like "jamie, just drink it, really, it's fine"

obsetress: viola just does this haughty sniff at her and that's what finally gets jamie to start

em: jamie can deal w being a brat but the idea of viola having Anything over her drives her Insane

em: Drives Her Fuckign Nuts

obsetress: she hates it

obsetress: just the absolute fuckin worst

em: do u think dani ever like

em: like they REALLY need to clear out storage but it’s a boiling frog situation where it’s increased so gradually that

em: like jamie thinks it’s Fine storage is Clear Enough

em: it’s Not

em: danis like. should we invite rebecca and vi over

em: just be Idea of A Snide Viola Comment fills jamie w a burning rage

obsetress: oh my god

obsetress: i'm obsessed with this

obsetress: i would read a whole oneshot about this

em: eventually dani comes clean abt it n jamie thinks it’s v funny bc yknow; open and honest communication is a v important part of their dynamic

em: jamie: next time just tell me my storage looks like shite dani or i will be grumbling abt viola for a Week

obsetress: inevitably

obsetress: when they do have to come over to clean

obsetress: dani offers them takeout and wine ("step up from pizza and beer at least," jamie grumbles) and viola's like "jesus, dani, let's just go out to dinner. my treat"

obsetress: at dinner, viola's like "if you want more storage, i have some wonderful properties––"

obsetress: rebecca's mouthing "sorry" from next to her across the table

em: every time they go out rebecca takes vi aside n is like ok sweetheart so you promise you’re not gonna try convince them to sell the apartment again

em: and violas like (mock horror) of course i won’t. ye of little faith

em: and every time

em: every time she does

em: she’s tryna HELP

obsetress: she would too she'd be like

obsetress: "i'm just trying to HELP"

obsetress: "they're our FRIENDS"

em: i’m on a mission to figure out like

em: this is way way down the line

em: but i wanna believe eventually viola and jamie start to, at the v least, Tolerate each other

em: jamie might even be fond of the crazy bird but she’ll NEVER admit it

obsetress: god like vi's on business or some shit in like

obsetress: the UAE

obsetress: negotiating some Deal

obsetress: and so dani and jamie get dinner with just bex and they're driving home after and having a perfectly mundane conversation and then jamie's just blurting like

obsetress: "i think i miss vi"

em: she’s HORRIFIED

em: she tries to play it off as like um

em: she’s Too Comfortable

em: things are Too Boring

em: which is weird knowing everything we know abt jamie

em: but actually she just... maybe misses viola

em: danis like god i wish i was recording this

obsetress: jamie's passed out next to her at home later (it's ten pm) and dani's chattering happily away on the phone with vi (drinking a martini in her dubai hotel room at one am since, y'know, no bars) in bed right next to her

obsetress: "jamie, uh, said she misses you. i know. no, i KNOW. don't tell her i told you. yeah, yeah, you win, vi, we know. uh-huh. uh-huh. i'm gonna pretend you didn't just ask me that"

em: CUTE

em: u can’t lord it over her vi it’s a little secret

em: vi's like when have i EVER

em: she does

obsetress: once they're good again, dani and vi absolutely just. lose time (there's a metaphor in there) talking to each other still

em: this is wholesome tbh

em: i really like the damie stories where like

em: look it’s nice when damie have each other but it’s also nice when they have their own friends and stuff

em: dunno how to articulate that well

em: it’s a balance! it’s a balance

obsetress: yeah! exactly

obsetress: because that's part of the love n possession thing too yk

obsetress: not to say either of them would ever be like "no friends for you" but

obsetress: wanting to have a life outside of your partner yk

obsetress: they're meeting vi and rebecca for dinner after vi gets back and vi's just grinning and sweeping jamie into a hug "i heard you missed me"

em: she gets jamie a souvenir t-shirt

em: it’s too big

em: OR

em: child’s t-shirt

obsetress: (jamie sleeps in it that night)

obsetress: oh childs might be better

obsetress: she's like "you're a little scrawny, so..."

em: jamie sleeps in it.... soft bitch

em: she feels too much

obsetress: jamie taylor softest bitch

obsetress: dani watches her pull it on and raises an eyebrow and jamie's just like "wot"

em: jamies like (grumbles) i knew she was comin back i’m just

em: shouldn’t you be HAPPY about this development dani

em: ‘s’a gift... s’rude not t’....’

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: dani just grins "mmhm"

em: it accidentally makes its way into jamies workout clothes pile

obsetress: oh my GOD oh my god

obsetress: viola's shit eating GRIN when jamie shows up at the gym in it

em: jamies like fok

em: mental maths tryna figure if she wants to just. work out in a sports bra

em: she Doesn’t

obsetress: she Doesn't!

obsetress: (she's shy)

em: god it’s one of those shirts that’s like

em: someone who loves me went to UAE and got me this t-shirt or something

obsetress: dani corners her in their empty row in the locker room "you could've just taken it off, you know" "dunno, not everyone needs to... see that, you know?" "i'd certainly like to see it" jamie rolls her eyes but she's grinning "you can see that any time" "well maybe i wanted to see it during my workout" "dani......."

em: jamies embarrassed bc of her gnarly farmers tan means her tummy is at least five shades lighter than the rest of her

em: crisp tan lines

obsetress: god jamie's farmers tan

em: once again i am bringing my tan lines jamie agenda

obsetress: dani loves jamies dumb farmers tan so much

obsetress: she giggles

obsetress: but it's the most loving giggle possible

em: and then when she gets into running...

em: god when i was rowing there were a couple ppl w like what i called a neapolitan icecream tan which is

em: gimme a second

obsetress: jamie gets all huffy when dani giggles at her tan but then dani's like "baby, no, i think it's cute" and jamie gives her a look and dani grins mischievously and ducks her head

obsetress: and then she's licking and kissing and nipping her way along jamie's dumb tan lines

em: there it is

obsetress: it was inevitable

em: so caught up in the joy of jamies dumb farmer tans i forgot abt her gnarly scar she keeps under wraps

em: baby

em: the most baby

obsetress: baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

em: jamie decides the only way to claim the stupid t-shirt as hers is to cut off the sleeves

em: it’s abt the ritual of the thing

obsetress: she shows up at the gym wearing it and

obsetress: that's viola's "oh no she's hot" moment

em: YEAH BABY

obsetress: literally just like

obsetress: world stops

obsetress: viola stares

em: jamie finally gets to do an exercise that shows off her sinewy manual labor grip forearms

em: viola’s probably just as horrified to find jamie hot as every time jamies like oh no

em: violas hot

em: and once again jamie CANNOT know she’s hot bc she will be insufferable

em: she will be the Worst

obsetress: viola's tugging rebecca aside "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "what?" viola waves a hand and rebecca just furrows her brow a little and is like "that's just... what she looks like, vi"

obsetress: viola corners dani next "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "i did" "oh. right" viola pauses, then "why didn't you make sure i was listening?" dani just gives her a look and walks away

obsetress: dflksdjfldaj god the way jamie and viola are. the same

obsetress: kind of incredibly, in the same ways dani and rebecca are the same

em: “hey baby, did viola seem different today? seemed off”

em: jamies like. is she mad at me. did i break another social taboo.

em: rebecca ‘jamie looks like jamie’ jessel vs dani ‘my gf is so hot i can’t stand it’ clayton

obsetress: "i tell you how hot she is at least three times a week, vi"

em: danis tryna goad her into making the damn shirt a crop top

em: jamies like yeah but isn’t that a step too far. i feel like i am destroying this shirt too much

em: she does it anyway

em: so jamies workout clothes are danis endless grey baggy school t-shirts and this one ugly souvenir shirt that like

em: psychological warfare and she doesn’t even know it

obsetress: i would........ like to see it

obsetress: also crop top jamie is one of my favorite jamies

obsetress: she is severely underrated

em: crop top jamie is

obsetress: and we do not talk about her enough

em: jamie wear More crop tops

obsetress: viola and rebecca in bed, in matching facemasks, after going to the gym post-epiphany that Jamie Is Hot

obsetress: viola: are dani and jamie hotter than us?

rebecca: what?

obsetress: and like

obsetress: viola is NOT insecure

obsetress: she is constantly confident that she's the most attractive woman in the room at any given moment, but

obsetress: she's just so staggered by this realization

em: some neutral third party (ms grose and mr sharma probably) are like well. u guys definitely have a little more of a scary thing going on

em: i’m imagining rebecca and viola at brunch w hannah and owen v seriously discussing this

em: viola brings it up and rebecca GROANS but then she gets invested in the convo

obsetress: GOD yeah

obsetress: she's leaning forward and gesturing with her fork "when you say 'scary'..........."

em: owens like scary is a compliment

em: hannah grose sips her tea knowingly

obsetress: rebecca just narrows her eyes at hannah grose and hannah raises her eyebrows and shrugs

em: after a week or so viola bursts into a room w stupid big sunglasses and a tray of take out coffees and she’s like Don’t You Worry Jamie I Have Concluded You’re Hot But I’m Not Threatened By It

em: jamies like sorry WHAT

em: you’ve been thinking about WHAT

em: viola leaves without ever following it up

obsetress: dani is entirely unfazed

obsetress: doesn't even blink

em: danis like neat she remembered the oat milk

em: everyone in this au is insane

obsetress: any lesbian in 2021 is insane

obsetress: par for the course

em: was gonna protest but

em: Yeah

obsetress: this lesbian meme account i follow on insta is doing “stop asking who’s the top and who’s the bottom. start asking...” posts

obsetress: and one of them is “start asking who’s baby and who’s fuck around and find out” and it just makes me chuckle

obsetress: jamie taylor baby

obsetress: viola lloyd also baby

em: dani is baby passing and jamie is fuck around faking

obsetress: oh my god that’s why that’s why i think we cracked it

obsetress: dani (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)

obsetress: rebecca (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)

obsetress: the reason they could never cross further even tho per the transitive property dani (so similar to vi) should be able to date beccs and jamie (so similar to beccs) should be able to date vi is because

obsetress: you can’t have two babies and two fuck arounds in a relationship together

em: oh of course. i see. i see

em: however in the rare rare crack ship of the ‘jamie viola hatefuck’ a similar phenomenon to ‘social anxiety mum friend ordering food’ instinct takes over and someone fucks around and finds out

em: this is just my unhinged jamie viola hatefuck bulkshit which is. it’s ironic ok it’s ironic it’s ironic it’s

em: ok one last thought bc i know it’s super late for u but

obsetress: omg i also have a last thought let’s trade

em: what if mikey is about isabels age n jamie ends up looking after him for one reason or another for a bit

em: and viola absolutely Dotes on him

obsetress: omg

obsetress: that’s what does it. jamie seeing viola w mikey

em: grumble grumble i guess she’s not that bad

em: except then she’s like god what if mikey likes her MORE than me

obsetress: “dani what if mikey gets one of those weird first crushes on vi”

obsetress: dani doesn’t even look up from the laundry “who hasn’t had a crush on vi”

obsetress: jamie’s like “mE” and dani just gives her the most withering look

em: danis like It’s Par For The Course Jamie

em: danis a teacher she’s like it happens don’t sweat it

em: anyway

em: what was. what was ur last little thought

obsetress: i was just thinking more about viola also baby and how also she’s been so privileged her whole life that sometimes there are just some things she can’t do for herself because she just doesn’t know how

obsetress: like she’s never had to learn

em: rebecca gets um

em: freeze dried coffee

em: nescafé

obsetress: but like

obsetress: rebecca genuinely loves taking care of vi for whatever reason (it’s because she loves her) when she really needs it but

obsetress: rebecca also takes no shit and is like “i’m not making the nescafé for you. you’re 36 years old, vi, you need to learn to do it for yourself”

obsetress: and she’ll stand there and watch her do it and then she makes vi do it at least three more times for posterity

obsetress: “i’ll make a plebeian of you yet, viola lloyd”

obsetress: (god only the two of them would think a line like that is funny)

#this one's fucken LONG!!!!!!!!#the dani jamie viola rebecca exes au

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treadmilltreats · 4 years ago

Text

Do I really have to workout today??

I write this blog every day and every day I try to keep it real. I tell it like it is, the good the bad and even the ugly.

I never sugar coat shit as I want you to know that sometimes the road gets tough but you can make it and I can't do that if I am not totally transparent.

So when I talk about working out and being a gym rat for most of my life, you might think, well that's not me. I don't have time or I don't like the gym or she's lucky she feels that way.

Like so many of you, there are so many mornings when the alarm rings, that I don't want to be working out, like this morning!

Yes, I could have slept an extra hour, I would have loved to throw the alarm across the room except nowadays it's not an alarm clock but your phone which lately costs as much as a used car. I wanted to roll over into my next dream of lasagna.

(Yes, I am on a break from men, so I'm not even dreaming about them!)

But no, I dragged my ass up and got on this treadmill. Feeling it or not, it's what I have to do.

Seeing any kind of change is hard. I remembered when I started to train for a triathlon I ran to the end of my block and thought I was going to die. I remember saying to myself "Are they kidding? I'm never going to make a triathlon, I can't even make it to the end of the street!"

This is definitely going to suck! Yes, I am human and don't always shoot sunshine out of my ass, sorry to disappoint you.

Then I thought now I will have to train for 3 different events, this is going to be a pain, and I mean literally.

I was thinking what the Hell did I get myself into now? I love to eat! I hate to run, I suck at swimming, the only thing is I like to bike ride but at a competition level? I doubt it but I had to make a choice, my love of eating, my fear or a setting and accomplishing a goal while my life was upside down and getting divorced. I wanted to challenge myself and my readers that you can do anything you set your mind to.

That and I love a challenge, asking myself, can I do it? How far can I go? How much past the pain can I go? And then there are the naysayers and haters that help too, telling me I was too old (49) or that I was crazy. Hello I was going through a horrible divorce that part was a given..

But all of that gets me saying,

"Oh yea... you don't think so, watch this!" I want to be able to say to them, never bet against me.

I trained for 8 months for that triathlon and I placed 3rd in my age group, first time out. How's that for you naysayers? Ha! If I can do this, you can do this.

You see we are all the same, I love good food, I had always eaten like a truck driver. I remember my mother would tell me to eat before a date because no guy would ever ask me out again after seeing me eat!

I get lazy and tired and don't feel like doing the right thing but these last 8 weeks with this surgery on my hand taught me that I can spiral into a depression and the only antidepressant for me is to exercise.

So yes, I am just like you, I love to eat, hate to get out of bed some days, I have a bad knee,my back hurts and I am tired, does that sound like you?

Yes, it's because we are all the same, we don't want change, we want the easy way out and we want it now!

Yes, if a genie from Aladdin came and said, you never have to exercise, you can eat anything you wish and you will stay healthy and have a hot body. Hell, ya that would be one of my three wishes, are you kidding?

But until that happens, I have to make a change, I have to put in hard work and do this all on my own.

So today my friends, I am telling you this so the next time you don't feel like going to the gym or working out, when change seems daunting remember you are not alone, we all feel like that even the gym rat!

So push yourself and you will be glad you did, life is too short to do things half way, be all in. And you will amaze yourself with what you can do!

Now get your ass up and workout!

"Be the change you want to see"

@treadmilltreats

Be the change you want to see"

"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

**Now released my latest book**

The Blessing in Disguise.... revealed

https://www.amazon.com/Blessing-Disguise-Revealed-story-faith/dp/1074340493/ref=sr_1_19?keywords=the+blessing+in+disguise&qid=1561392004&s=books&sr=1-19

***Now available***

My 1st book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

Http://www.treadmilltreats.com

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

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treadmilltreats · 4 years ago

Text

Why is everyone in this country so angry?

I often wonder about this, especially this last year as so many people all over this country are so angry.

Look I get it, it was a shit year, many people lost their jobs, their businesses took a crap just like mine did. People lost their homes and many families out there are going hungry and all by no means of our own.

The government sucks and it hardly stepped up to help people expecting $1200 to last a year, give us a break! Unemployment ran out for many, if you could even get through the mass of red tape and it constantly crashing. And we already know how many people got sick and lost loved ones during this pandemic. In case you're not up to date with the facts, the CDC data states that 1.52 million have gotten it and 329,611 people have died.

Yet, "they" say it's fake, their favorite word...fake news, it will be gone, just like that, by April. Yes, we are mad that we were lied to, that we, who were the richest and most powerful country in the world let this happen to so many people and that it watched us literally die and gave us no help.

We had race wars and a leader and I use that term very loosely as I will never utter the word president and his name together, that started them. That fanned the flames and made it okay for the racist to take down and take out their white sheets from hiding.

Through all the mess, through all the friends and family we had to delete or block due to their racist comments that hit us to the core of who we were as human beings. Through the riots we saw in our streets, the injustice we learned about or knew about but so many were still not acknowledging it, through the country that divided itself, us vs them. I still believe that good would prevail.

Yes, it is scary that the United States of America is divided down the middle with so many people angry on both sides.

We saw more Karen's and Ken's then ever before yelling and attacking people of color for picnicking, for walking in the park, for selling lemonade for christ sake. There have been so many incidents that yes, it made so many of us just sick, it made us angry to see yet another black man killed for no reason, another black woman killed in her own home, in her own bed. It reminded the sane half of what happened in Germany not so long ago.

As if this wasn't bad enough,the first week of a New year when we all had high hopes of something better, #45 incites his band of toothless, uneducated, racist to storm the Capitol. They were there in all their glory wearing 6 million was not enough shirts and Camp Auschwitz” emblazoned with a skull and crossbones, and under it the phrase “work brings freedom” – an English translation of the Auschwitz concentration camp motto: “Arbeit macht frei.”

On the back it said Staff.

If this didn't make everyone in this country mad as hell then there is something wrong with you. If you thought this was okay then you are part of the problem and not the solution. We are seeing right in front of our eyes the second coming of Hitler and it's obvious that we have learned nothing...maybe it's because we took the real shitty stuff out of our textbooks in school to make ourselves look better. But 6 million people's families will never forget what happened and we should never forget as well.

Yes, I get it, I'm mad, I'm angry that so many people are unwilling to see what is going on in this country. They are blind to racism, they are blind to a man that they voted for, who stirred the shit pot. A man that made it okay to come out with their white sheets, to kill people of color, to become the Karen's out there.

Yes, I am mad but more than that I am sad that we have learned not a fucking thing in 60 years. We have not evolved into better people, people with tolerance and compassion for other human beings. That we do not take care of one another, that we lost the fact that we are all our brothers' keepers, but through it all there is a silver lining.

What could that possibly be you may ask? In case you don't know, I am Tinkerbell and I am always trying to see the silver lining.

It was that many of us, of all colors were coming together to fight for the good of all. For half of the county, the half that believed we all bleed red, that we should have human rights, we came together. Fighting for equal rights, fighting to keep the rights our ancestors fought and died for, that were being challenged by this administration. They wanted the LGBT community back in the closet, they wanted to take away women's right to choose, basic human Healthcare, equity rights for blacks, people of color or people with disabilities. Basically we were seeing a revival of the 1950's which even including lynching of blacks yet again.

And for so many, this was not going to happen without a fight, even during a pandemic we took to the streets, protesting for basic human rights for all. I saw Blacks, Whites, Jewish, Spanish, the LGBT community, Muslims, everyone that looked different but believed in the same thing come together and it gave me a glimmer of hope for this country, for the world.

So today my friends, I know you are angry, that you are mad about what is going on but there is hope, you can change things. Yes, one person can change things, look at Rosa Parks, at Martin Luther King, one person who said enough is enough and made a difference. You can make a difference, run for office, don't worry that you're not qualified, none of them that are running this country are. All you need is passion, determination and a willingness to make a difference.

We can all do our part, one act of kindness, one stance saying I will not tolerate this, one person at a time. Love will always defeat hate, and as I say at the end of every blog….

"Be the change you want to see"

"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

**Now released my latest book**

The Blessing in Disguise.... revealed

https://www.amazon.com/Blessing-Disguise-Revealed-story-faith/dp/1074340493/ref=sr_1_19?keywords=the+blessing+in+disguise&qid=1561392004&s=books&sr=1-19

***Now available***

My 1st book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

Http://www.treadmilltreats.com

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

My weekly Youtube page, please subscribe:

https://youtu.be/LDSXCFJVnzM

Twitter: treadmill treats

Instagram: treadmilltreats

Facebook :treadmill treats

#treadmilltreats

#Theblessingindisguise

#TheblessinginDisguiserevealed

#livinglifelarge

#bethechangeyouwanttosee

#Thankyounext

#Garyvee

#Jayshetty

#newyearnewme

#blogginglife

#write

#writer

#blogger

#NewYorktimesbestseller

#womenoffaithtour

#Motivationalspeaker

#OnOprahSupersoulSunday

#Oprah

#TylerPerry

#TylerPerryproducingmylifestory

#thisismypassion

#livingmypurpose

#blogging

#Newyork

#Florida

#internationalblogger

#francescavillardi

#francescavillardienterprise

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