#and i'm remembering all my weird rpc hesitations

[honorhunt]

apropos of literally nothing, i know i'm not alone in feeling this way but you know those mutuals you've had for months, even years. and they have other blogs that you'd love to interact with, but the annoyingly little fizzly voice in your head says, "yes, you're mutuals but they're only tolerating your presence here, why would they want you there."

it already takes me forever to follow first. i'll sit on someone's blog, about to click the button, and then i chicken out and don't click the button. why? what's the worst that can happen, they don't follow back? yes. and that's terrifying. not because they didn't follow back but because i've now stepped into a space where i wasn't wanted and i feel awful trampling on someone's boundary like that. it's not a big deal, it's not personal, yet i still feel the string of "sorry, sorry, sorry. sorry, so sorry" every time i tap 'n flee the follow button.