#and i'm insectophobic and it's not only because i hate the texture of insects and i don't want them landing on me because it's triggering | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

idkimnotreal · 1 year ago

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one of my first memories that i relate to autism is being at daycare at like age 4 and it's after some party and the caregiver lady had us kids play with the balloons and burst them at will, since they would be cleaning it later anyway, and we were kinda helping with that but having fun, and i noped and i crouched and covered my ears and screamed while the other kids wreaked havoc around me in the room.

that's all i remember. i don't remember the teacher's reaction. likely my parents were told about this. this is one of the things that makes me baffled that i was never diagnosed as a kid, not even with asperger's which was common in the 2000s, but instead only misdiagnosed with ocd (i'm a boy, or assigned male; borderline would make sense but they don't (mis)diagnose boys with that).

#autistic childhood #childhood memories #late diagnosis #i am still #still #to this day #afraid of balloons #like specifically #and like #kids with balloons #i hate it with a passion #i stare at them until they get out of my sight #because it's bound to burst #and sudden noises are triggering for autistic people #it's not as sudden if i'm expecting it #but anyway #i'm still afraid of bursting balloons and it's like a whole phobia for me #i also stare at insects until they go away #incidentally also related to a childhood episode where i got stung by a hornet that landed on the light switch at my grandmother's house #and i'm insectophobic and it's not only because i hate the texture of insects and i don't want them landing on me because it's triggering #but it's also a primal fear that probably needs some therapy to be overcome #it is a problem because i live in brazil umm literally and summers are always tough and they shouldn't be

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