#and i'm assuming you can translate the start both as 'falling stars' and 'shooting stars'

[lastthroes]

"held in my brother's arms, i raised my eyes up to the downpour of shooting stars. it was, without a doubt, the one place where i was safe from all kinds of sadness and misfortune. a world only for me to have, a secret place no one else could break into."

what the fuck man... what the fuck

[gayf1hoe]

Part 5

M/N Pov:

After we dropped Charles off I felt the tension leave the car, I could feel him just glaring at me for the majority of the journey. As we continue driving to the hotel Oscar sparks a conversation I was hoping to avoid by saying “So what's up between you and Charles, are you both still angry at each other?” I sigh in discontent, “we just don't see eye to eye and I think it's best if we don't interact”. For the rest of the journey we spent it singing along to the music with Yuki making me go deaf with his horrible impersonation of Adele.

When we got to the hotel we all received our room keys and I found out I was next door to Yuki. Me and Yuki have been best friends since he came over to Europe to participate in a karting championship when we were younger. Despite being older Yuki was always reminded that he was shorter. I would be lying if I said there wasn't something between us but it's platonic, many people have assumed because I'm gay I must be sleeping with every driver on the grid.

We make our way to our rooms and I quickly unpack and head downstairs to make use of the pool, most driver's head to the gym in their free time. I however am not one of those drivers, the thought of voluntary exercise repulsed me. I settle down on a sunbed and place my headphones in and play my favourite podcast and I slowly drift off to sleep. However I'm quickly disturbed when I feel myself being lifted up I open my eyes and see George and Logan lifting me,

“PUT ME DOWN MOTHER FUCKERS” I screamed in this a bit too loudly in the 5 star hotel, and my pleading was to no avail they threw me in, I got out of the pool and embraced George in a hug soaking him in the process and I said “Payback is a bitch” in a very smug tone.”What about Logan it was him as well”, he whined like a little baby “don't worry I will get my revenge when he least expects it”.

I wait to dry of for a bit as it's forbidden to walk through the hotel wet and I thought I had dried off enough before walking into the hotel however the water that had been sliding down my leg made the marble floor even more slippery and I felt myself falling backwards before I felt a strong grip around my forearm, and as I'm about to thank whoever it was I see that it's Charles. At first I question how the fuck he managed to unpack and make his way to our hotel so quickly but then I realise that I had been blankly staring into his eyes and he was still holding onto my arm, “erm… thank you” I say and he let's go of my arm, I see Logan walk past smugly and I shout “You are a dead man American don't think you're getting away with this” Charles shoots me a confused look so I quickly elaborate “he threw me in the pool” I say whilst death staring Logan.

I excuse myself and make my way to my room change for the grid dinner in Monaco that night. I try to decide what outfit I want to wear but my wardrobe only consists if black jeans and team T Shirts but I eventually find a plain white polo so I wear that with black jeans. I'm the first one down there and I'm waiting when Charles starts a conversation with me “look I know we got off on the wrong foot, and we didn't exactly exchange nice words but I want to start again, I don't want to be enemies or have any hate between us” he says I can tell he is sincere and means it “me too” I say “ I understand how unbearable, stubborn and annoying I can be sometimes and I'm sorry for what I did, I didn't mean to make you feel upset in any way” Charles smiles before saying “Did I manage to get ‘I'm sorry’ out of the M/N L/N the most unapologetic person ever” we both giggle at that statement and we are interrupted by Yuki who is making his way over to us, I sense a change in Charles demeanour when Yuki arrives.

And soon Pierre arrives and the two start taking in French about how random things and then Charles said “Nous nous sommes finalement réconciliés et je suis si heureux parce que je détestais nous ou nous ”

Translation: We finally made up and I'm so happy because I hated it when we would argue or ignore each other.

When he says this I smile and say “Il faut être prudent lorsque vous parlez des gens en français surtout si vous ne savez pas s'ils le parlent ou non”

Translation: You should be careful when you speak about people in french especially if you don't know whether or not they speak it.

Both of their faces change drastically, I can tell they are shocked, “You little shit how do you know french?” Pierre says whilst laughing “Well I went to school and they taught us French” I replied I could tell they were expecting something more extravagant like me living in France at one point.

By the time we had discussed how I learnt French from School the rest of the drivers had arrived and we made our way towards the local restaurant where we would be dining when we got to our table unsurprisingly Yuki was sitting on my left however surprisingly Charles was sitting on my right. Whilst we had made up it still felt quite awkward, every time Yuki would speak to me he would get my attention by doing something stupid. But everytime he did something stupid for my attention I fell in love even more.

******* TW- ED ******

It came to ordering and I had always hated restaurants from a young age. I was given diet plan after diet plan no matter what my weight was. Every team would tell me I could be lighter. In racing weight is everything. And whilst Mercedes had been great and not given me any dietary plan I still was conscious whilst ordering, whilst everyone was ordering pizzas, steak and pasta I ordered a simple Chicken Salad.

This is when Max made it a big deal “M/N” he said quite loudly even though he was only opposite me “we are in this amazing restaurant and you only order a salad” by now I had at least 6 other people's eyes on me I manage to brush it off by saying “I just want something light I don't like eating big meals in one sitting” everyone then goes back to doing what they are doing. But my nerves are getting the better of me and I can feel my leg starting to bounce up and down and my vision is getting blurry. So I excuse myself and walk towards the little yard the restaurant has out back for a smoking area but there's no one there. I sit on the bench breathing heavily and on the verge of tears when I feel a presence next to me.

I look up and see Charles who had followed me out. “Are you good Mon ami?” He asks in a sweet and concerned tone “Yeah I just needed some air” I reply shakily, he embraces me in a side hug and says “You can tell me anything you know” I nod a begin to speak “It's just my whole life I have been told what to and what not to eat, by my coaches, friends, parents, family, team Principals everyone I hate it when people question my food choices it makes me feel self conscious and I know it sounds stupid and I hate it, but I can't control it” I say now fully in tears Charles hugs me tighter and says “you have nothing to be sorry for, I know we aren't best friends yet, but I will always be here for you” I just hug him.

After a while of calming down we head back in and the food is beginning to arrive at the table. My salad is placed in front of me and I begin to just stare at it not having an appetite but I manage to eat half of it over the time span of an hour. Everyone is chatting away about the race that is happening in 3 days and what training they are doing until then. Me and Charles are just talking about my life in England and his life in Monaco and our families. After what feels like 5 minutes it's now 10 pm at night and we all start to leave separately Yuki and Pierre left earlier and me and Charles leave together, he insists on walking me back to the hotel which I don't argue with.

We are walking along the streets of Monaco with him pointing out every little detail and piece of sentimental history each thing has to him.

As we arrive at my hotel I tell him he's free to go but he insists on walking me to my room, and as I open the door and turn to face him we bid each other a goodnight.

I collapse on my bed and text the one person I know I can to go for good advice Sebastian, the man who is my role model, best friend and like my dad:

-----

M/N: Hey Seb, I need to talk to you. Is it OK now??

Seb: Of course I'm always here to talk

M/N: I think I'm in love, but I think he's straight and we didn't get off to the best start and I'm so confused.

Seb: Let me guess Charles.

M/N: How did you guess?

Seb: This is the exact same way your and Mick's relationship started, and like I said then spend time with him, don't rush into anything you have all the time in the world, let him know the real you and not the tough facade you want everyone to see.

M/N: Thanks Seb, I love you, you always give the best advice

Seb: No problem, now rest for your training. I love you too.

-----

I drop my phone on my bed and have a shower and sit outside for a while looking at the night sky whilst reading. I then decide to get some rest for tomorrow's training and gather the guts to ask Charles to spend the day with me on Thursday.