#and i’m stayin up late

[skyblueartt]

I mean this completely unironically- the fcking fnaf fan song “Just an Attraction” is a genuinely a banger

[thexsilentxwordsmith]

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem!reader

Summary: Lt. Riley sure has been taking a lot of smoke breaks lately. Strange that you always seem to disappear at the same time too.

Author's Note: Just a quick little one shot I came up with to get me back into the swing of things and give you all a little snack for what's to come.

“Again?” Soap questions as he watches the lieutenant stand up from the back of the table, cigarette pack in hand. “Ye have a real problem mate. Swear yer married te those things these days, always havin’ te go out fer another smoke. Ye should get some help fer yer addiction, L.T.”

Lt. Riley doesn’t stop to reply, moving his chair back in without missing a beat. “Maybe I’m just tryin’ ta have an excuse to fuckin’ leave so ya can’t persuade me into stayin’ for more of your inane drivel,” he returns dryly. “ ‘Sides, it’s gettin’ late.”

Soap rolls his eyes skeptically at the statement. “Whatever ye say,” he chuckles, brushing off the comment like nothing and letting the lieutenant walk off without consequence, something rare for the mouthy sergeant, but Lt. Riley is too preoccupied to pay it much attention.

From your place at the table, you carefully sneak glances to watch as the hulking form of your superior locks eyes with you for only a second before he makes his way over to the door of the mess hall and opens it to step out into the night air. You force yourself not to linger too long in his direction, redirecting your attention back to your fellow operatives that still sit around you chatting even though dinner had ended some time ago.

It doesn’t take long for the conversation to pick right back up where it left off, though you stay silent as you slowly try to fade yourself out of the group without anyone noticing your absence. The heated topic of the best explosive types has everyone engaged and you see your opportunity to leave and slip out undetected.

Too bad you don't notice a couple eyes dart your way before they turn back to one another to share a knowing look and a smirk. Yet nothing is said out loud and you make it out with incident.

Stepping out into the cool night, you find it odd that there are no signs of life near the door, no 6’4” military officer propped against the brick smoking. The unexpected absence makes your heart leap, but as you let your eyes adjust to the dark you catch movement off to your side. At the edge of the building you can just make out the dissipating wispy trail of vapor as it floats up towards the sky. Bingo, that’s what you are looking for. Turning your feet in the direction of the smoke, you make your way over, the soles of your shoes crunching over the gravel scattered along the ground and echoing off the walls of the building. You don’t have far to go and as soon as your body rounds the corner, your wrist is grabbed up by long fingers into the palm of a large, rough hand.

You know this grip intimately.

“Lookin’ for somethin’, pretty girl?” the familiar gruff voice hits your ears as your body is pushed back first into the rough surface of the wall.

Tilting your head up, you look directly into that skull-masked face and instantaneously a smile spreads across your lips. “Was looking for someone, actually,” you answer confidently, a bit of playfulness to your tone.

Hooking your thumbs through the front belt loops on his jeans, you pull him in closer so that he is pinned against you. “And wouldn’t you know, I just found him,” you say.

Fuck, did you have to play on his one weakness so early?

“Was wonderin’ when you’d fuckin’ break away,” he chuckles to disguise that fact that your little maneuver has caused his pulse to race violently through his veins.

Those large, greedy hands find their place on the curve of your hips and he wonders if you can feel his thudding heartbeat through his touch as he stands there in the silence with you. He’s waiting patiently for what comes next, the simple ritual you've developed that you put into practice whenever you’re alone together. Right now he is still under the guise of Ghost and only you can bring out the man behind the mask.

Searching his chest to find the neckline of his shirt, you dig your fingers inside and find the edge of the fabric keeping his face hidden from you. You tug at the balaclava to free it before you pull it up and off his features, bunching it together and pushing it to the top of his head so that he wears it like a beanie. And suddenly there he is: not Ghost, not Lt. Riley, but Simon, your Simon in the flesh once again.

“Didn’t want to make it too obvious,” you return as you take him all in, fingertips following the line of his cheek, “the others aren’t that oblivious; they’ll put two and two together if given enough clues. We could get caught, you know. How long till they figure out that I always seem to go missing whenever you go for a smoke?”

There is a coolness on your hip now as one of his hands finds its way around the back of your neck to hold you in place as his thumb smoothly caresses over the delicate skin of your cheek in long, slow strokes. “Don’t care anymore,” he mutters as his gaze lingers at your eyes before they drift down to your full lips. There is a yearning in his chest watching them part as he drags that same thumb heavily across the length and it blooms as he hears the quiet sigh you release at feeling his touch over that sensitive bit of skin.

“It’s gettin’ harder and harder ta keep my hands to myself whenever you’re ‘round.”

He leans in as he holds you steady by the back of the head, his face getting closer and closer until his balmy breath wafts over your bottom lip. It’s intoxicating the way the presence of your mouth lingering just out of reach makes the skin on his tingle with anticipation and he suspends you both in the tantalizing feeling of the moment for a few seconds without speaking, just letting the sensations play out.

The agonizing depth of his need pools in the pit of his stomach, making him clench his hand around your spine as it overwhelms his body. “Don’t wanna have ta keep holdin’ back.”

Being pressed against you, you can easily feel him take in a shuddered breath. “Get such a fuckin’ cravin’ for your lips sometimes it feels like I’m goin’ insane,” he whispers the words into your face, his nose gliding against the tip of your own as his mouth ghosts over yours until you tremble in his grasp as his temptation overwhelms you.

Your heartbeat pounds hard against your ribcage and you can hear it in your head. His intensity is enough to make you dizzy, your vision hazy at best as you are consumed with him and only him. No one has ever had this much control over you, but with Simon it is effortless the way he owns all the free space in your mind so that it takes the most minimal effort to have you falling apart, melting in his hands.

In the shadow of the mess hall, hidden in the dark with just you and him, the world seems to completely fall away. Whatever waits outside that moment for you both is forgotten, pushed aside to make room for the need you share for each other.

“Simon,” you moan his name, your eyes fluttering closed as your desperation overtakes you and leaves you begging for him to break the distance still between you.

God, the way his name falls so sweetly from your lips makes him just as feral now as it did the first time he heard you use it. He is insatiable in the way he is willing to do anything just to hear you say it again.

The air outside tonight is cool, but the atmosphere between your bodies is heated from the sticky, warm breath that you both share between your mouths, the proximity of your bodies, the rise in blood pressure that makes your skin hot to the touch. It’s getting harder to breathe and yet the thought of you pulling away from him before he can get his fill of you is torture.

“Swear I’ve never missed someone tha way I miss ya when I have ta stay away,” he says, followed quickly by a groan into your face as you place your palm on his sternum to feel the weighty rise and fall of his broad chest.

Your touch is exhilarating and suddenly his whole body is aroused as if struck by lightning. Unintentionally, his hips move on instinct and begin to grind into yours, the growing bulge in the crotch of his pants making him desperate for more friction and you immediately meet his need with your own. That last shred of his sanity is waning fast the more you both rub yourselves against each other until out of the haze filling his mind and distracting him from his goal he finally finds the last bit of clarity to speak before he completely falls apart.

“Christ, I will never get enough of ya, sweetheart.” And with a brief pause, Simon inhales and leans in hungrily to capture your lips with his.

His mouth dominates your own with urgency, as if at any moment you will be snatched from his hands and he will be left starving for the sensation of your mouth tangling with his.

Your back is slammed into the uneven texture of the brick, jagged bits of clay grating the skin of your back through your t-shirt from the force of your lieutenant aggressively capturing your mouth over and again. Sweet spit and heated lips mingling as he insatiably devours your kiss to leave a wreck of flesh behind on the lower half of your face that only burns for more of his embraces.

Shrouded in the dark your bodies melt together with yours being swallowed by the bulk of his, those bulging muscles along his abdomen pressing into you, pinning you to the wall until you can hardly catch your breath. You hold onto him to keep him from drifting, two tight fists balled up with his shirt as your need overwhelms every sense in an intensity that is shared like an electrical current through your bodies.

Large, coarse hands cup around your face, tilting your head upward to him as his tongue juts out from between his teeth and over his lips to prod against yours until you open your mouth and allow him to shove it in. That thick muscle fills the cavity full as he explores, feeling you, tasting you, memorizing the inside of your mouth. The nicotine on his breath is still pungent from the cigarette that is glowing discarded on the ground at your feet, its sharp notes dancing over the surface of your taste buds as you suck on his tongue.

His knee finds its way between your legs, pressing up into the wall behind you so that the bulk of his thigh is pushed against the mound of your sex, giving you access to something you can ride as your desire intensifies. The stimulation is like a catalyst and without hesitation you begin to roll your hips into it.

Simon is pawing desperately at your clothing to get beneath it and make contact with as much soft, warm skin as his hands can enjoy when a sudden loud clang somewhere close by breaks you both out of the spell of your lust. Two heads return side to side in search for the source of the noise, only to find that nothing is out of place. But the moment is broken and you are both now fully aware of how exposed you are just out in the open.

“Meet at mine after lights out, yeah?” Simon says through heavy panting, holding your face cupped between his hands as he struggles to gain back his composure, at least enough to cross base without drawing attention to himself and the bulge straining against the front of his jeans.

You nod, scrambling to regulate your own quick breathing.

He quickly pulls your face back in for one more feverish kiss before releasing you, pulling down his mask, and briskly heading off into the night. It's still about an hour you have left to wait and though you know that it isn't that long in the grand scheme of things, as you clench your thighs together, you know it won't come soon enough.

[peachsukii]

₊✩‧₊ ⎯ after hours Another midnight stuck in the office, paperwork and tech piling up by the second. Sometimes, all it takes is a kick in the ass to take a break and remind yourself that you're only human.

content // late nights at work, just some fluff and fun behind the scenes of the hero world. reader’s support tech alias is Mechanica. wc // 0.9k

『 k.bakugo masterlist | caramel & champagne series 』

It’s been a long, exhausting month at the Dynamight Agency. Bakugo’s been on back to back emergency calls and scheduled patrols while you’ve been pulling double shifts to stay caught up with all of the repairs needed from said emergencies. It was a constant stream of issues popping up the second you’d finish fixing the last gadget of the bunch.

“Mechanica! My suit’s on the fritz. Can you check the wiring you installed?”

“Mecha, how’s it going? Sorry to bother you, but I’m out of the electro-bombs you made for me last week. Could you spare a few more?”

“Hey! You’re the top support tech here, right? Red Riot told me to come find ya. I busted my helmet last night and the visor doesn’t work anymore. Can you fix it? The infrared tech seems to have been fried."

Using your quirk for extended periods of time was draining as hell, as helpful as it was. Your fixes typically require a tool or two, or a quick recharge to a piece of gear you’ve created in the past, not three weeks of back-to-back quirk usage. A vacation sounds real nice, but alas, a heroes work is never truly done.

A familiar set of footsteps comes trudging toward the workshop as you’re inspecting a piece of circuitry - you know those boots anywhere.

“Peach, I thought ya went home?” Bakugo asks you while placing a broken gauntlet on one of the open work tables. “Like...hours ago.”

Sarcastically, you wave your hand to the piles of items next to you.

“I was when I messaged you earlier, and then everyone in the damn agency suddenly needed repairs.”

You peer around him to the bracer he placed on one of the other tables. Son of a bitch, you fixed that yesterday!

“Katsuki…you didn’t.”

You don’t mean for your tone to sound accusatory, but you’re grumpy and want to go home. Bakugo huffs under his breath and waves you off.

“Relax sweets, s’just a backup that’s busted. Villain stabbed right through it and it cracked one of the gaskets inside. Still got my good set in the office.”

“Every one is a good set, ‘Ki. I’ll get to it tomorrow, maybe I should build you a third set for when you smash the good pair.”

He knew the bite in your tone wasn’t aimed at him, it’s was just a result of your exhaustion and didn’t hold it against you.

“Why don’t we go home together? Leave all that for tomorrow. S’late,” Bakugo suggests, taking the tools out of your hands and laying them on the table. “Have your team do the dirty work. You’re gonna run yourself into the ground.”

“You have absolutely no room to talk, Mr. Running on Four Hours of Sleep.” You playfully smack him in the bicep before rearranging the tools on the table. “You didn’t even come to bed last night, you passed out on the couch in your hero gear.”

He shakes his head before grabbing you by the waist and hoisting you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

“Katsuki! Put me down!” You squeal, half annoyed and half giddy.

“Nah, cause if I do, you’ll be glued to this station for god knows how long." Bakugo smacks your ass to get you to sit still, a grin plastered on his face. "It’s past midnight, peaches. Takin’ you home and throwin’ us both in the shower. And we’re stayin’ home tomorrow, boss’s orders.”

There's no force in the world that could stop Katsuki Bakugo once his mind is made up - no use in fighting the inevitable.

You dramatically let your body rag doll in his hold. "Fine, but you have to carry me all the way home."

“I’d carry you to the edge of the world, sweetheart.”

How does this man one up himself every single day and steal your heart all over again?

“You’re so mushy when you’re tired,” you tease, reaching down to squeeze at his side to tickle him. “If only everyone else could see the big bad Dynamight right now, carrying his exhausted wife home. That would be a hell of a headline.”

Bakugo feigns dropping you in retaliation, catching you at the last second and shifting you back on his shoulder like you were weightless.

“Shut it or I’ll drop you in a puddle on the way home,” he cackles while pinching your thigh. “Ain’t no way in hell I’m lettin’ those paparazzi jackasses catch a glimpse of your ass.”

He makes a fair point. You were already in the spotlight recently, no need to add any more fuel to that fire.

The two of you exit the workshop, turning the lights off and heading to the rooftop to blast home. Bakugo’s version of flying never fails to fill you with adrenaline, a personalized rollercoaster ride all the way from the agency to your shared apartment. When you get home, Phoenix lovingly jumps off the couch and trots over to you two, rubbing between your legs and chirping happily.

“Can you feed Nix, babe?“ you ask as you’re stripping out of your workshop clothes and nodding toward the begging kitty at your feet. “I’ll start the shower. Leave your suit out here, too. We can toss them in the wash tomorrow.”

The domestic routine kicks in for the Bakugo household, just delayed by a few hours. After your shower, the two of you relax together in the bath, enjoying the silence of each other’s company. The alarm clock reads 2:13AM by the time you’re crawling under the sheets, tucked under Bakugo’s arm and cradled against his chest. He turns off the “work” alarm for the both of you, solidifying his decision for a much needed day off.

It’s little moments like these that remind you how human the two of you are in the midst of it all - even heroes need breaks.

⇢ subscribers; @sunflowers-4 @sweetloveandaffection

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[joelslastofus]

[SUMMARY: Sarah’s out of town and calls for her father to pick you up at the bar. While drunk and feeling lonely you say things to your best friend’s father that only make it hard for him to resist you.

Teasing, age difference, masturbation

“That was of course the main secret…you had no idea just how much you aroused him. You had no idea you left him with an ache that he knew he couldn’t fulfill…not with you being Sarah’s friend. “

It was one in the morning on a Saturday night and Joel found himself dozing off on the couch until a call from his daughter woke him up.

“Sarah, what’s the matter?” He sat forward not expecting a call from Sarah so late.

“I’m sorry to bother, I know it’s late. It’s y/n”

“What is it?” He asked.

“She’s super drunk and she thought I was in town and asked me for a ride, I’d call a cab for her but she sounds really out of it. Can you please just pick her up, just let her sleep it off in my room”

“Of course, baby” he stood up and grabbed his keys as his daughter instructed him on where to find you.

Once arriving Joel noticed you out front talking to a man by yourself. Pulling up a few feet away from you, the car screeched as he quickly got out and walked towards you.

“Mr…Miller?” You looked at him confused as he approached you giving the man you spoke to a threatening look.

“Come on, let’s go”

“I was just about to give her a ride home” the man insisted with a beer in hand.

“No need for that, you can leave”

“Mr. Miller….what are you doing…here?” You began to giggle leaning back against the wall. Joel had never seen you this way before, a dress, thigh high tights with heels that you were struggling to balance on while clearly very heavily intoxicated.

“I’m takin’ ya home”

“Oh but I don’t…I don’t wanna go home yet. I was just making a friend…” you grinned.

“Come on, it’s time to go” he took hold of your hand as you stumbled to the side.

“I can take her home man, trust me” the guy insisted as Joel looked at him directly in the eye without letting you go.

“I got about two seconds left in me before ya really piss me off so I suggest you get on outta here” the guy took a step back eventually leaving as you sighed.

“Oh no….whys he leaving?” Joel could tell you were going to give him a hard time and took a deep breath.

“Sorry honey” he whispered before unexpectedly throwing you over his shoulder. You squealed kicking your legs as he held you tightly walking back to his truck.

“What are you doing?!” You yelled as he sat you down in the passenger seat and put the seatbelt over your chest.

“I’m gettin you home” he whispered slightly irritated. Not fighting it you watched as he clicked the belt in and closed the door. His cellphone ringing as he made his way around to the drivers seat.

“Yeah, baby I got her” Joel answered seeing it was Sarah. You looked up hearing him talk as he started the car.

“Where’s Sarah?” You asked as you rubbed your eyes realizing he was speaking to her.

“She’ll be back in the mornin’” Joel responded still holding the phone to his ear.

“I think your dad’s pissed at me” you spoke loud enough for Sarah to hear.

“Sorry dad, she never drinks this much, I guess she was just very upset her boyfriend broke up with her” Sarah sighed.

“It’s alright, I’ll get her home. She’ll be fine” he assured her before driving off.

“You’re soooo mad at me” you spoke softly with your eyes half closed.

“No, honey I ain’t” he responded without looking your way.

Once Joel pulled up into his driveway he looked over at you to see you were asleep.

Picking you up in his arms he bought you inside laying you on the couch so he could prep the room. Once he lay you down you mumbled something in your sleep that he couldn’t understand before opening your eyes.

“What time is it?” You pushed yourself up turning towards him barely balancing yourself.

“Its about to be two”

“Two? I gotta get home-“ you tried to stand up before he quickly sat you back down.

“No, honey you’re stayin’ here tonight. Lay down” your eyes half open as you leaned back and noticed you still had your heels on.

“My shoes…”

“I got em” Joel got down on one knee as he took off the straps sliding each shoe off your foot and placing them aside.

“I hate men…men are such…assholes” you suddenly spoke with your eyes closed. Joel looked up at you silently before your eyes fluttered open.

“Sorry..my stupid…ex left me for some other girl and-“ you raised your brows as you lost train of thought.

“Mr.Miller…” you sighed as you swayed your head from left to right. Your mind not making sense as you thought of how low your ex made you feel.

“Can I ask you something…?” He raised a brow curiously.

“Sure”

“Do you…do you think I’m pretty…?” Your question catching him off guard.

“Honey, I think you need to get some rest-“

“Can you just answer the question” you blurt out. Desperate for anything to make you feel better after being rejected by a man you had loved for four years.

“Course I do” he whispered. You gave him a lazy smile pleased with his response. Of course he thought you were pretty, he always did. Looking down you realized your stockings had rolled down and sighed. Attempting to lean forward to fix them you almost fell towards him until he caught you.

“I got cha” he whispered with his hands on your arms.

“My stockings…I’m trying to fix-“

“I got em, sit still” you leaned back as he propped your foot on his leg. Joels eyes quickly roamed up your legs as you sat before him until he caught himself and cleared his throat. You watched as he lifted the stocking back in place but stopped before your knee.

“They go higher…” of course he knew they went higher but that meant his hands would move further up your legs and he couldn’t have that…not with the feelings he was beginning to have. Feelings he knew he couldn’t have towards his daughter’s friend, it wasn’t appropriate. The thought of his hand coming so close to your-

“Mr.Miller?” He looked up at you with his big brown eyes realizing once again where his mind was drifting off to.

“Hm?” He responded with your foot still on him.

“Can you…can you put them higher?” You asked softly.

Why the hell did you need them higher for? You were only making this harder for him. Taking a deep breath he slowly slid them up to your thighs. You looked down and watched as his hands brushed along your inner thigh making his body tense.

“You have…you have big hands” you whispered as he proceeded to fix the next one. The feel of his hands touching your thighs, you found yourself getting aroused. His eyes focused on where his hands moved as a soft moan escaped your lips making him look up. His heart practically beating out of his chest as he watched your hips slightly squirm moving close against him.

“Mr.Miller?” You murmured.

“Can I ask you something else?”

“Mhm” he held his breath, your leg still on his.

“So you don’t think there’s anything wrong with me..?”

“Not at all” he whispered anxiously awaiting what you had to say. Your eyes struggling to stay open, your words still slurring as you spoke.

“So….if I asked you to…would you fuck me…?”

He froze, speaking your drunken thoughts loudly you didn’t think twice.

“Would you…?” You began to pull the straps of your dress off your shoulder.

“Don’t” he quickly stopped your hand from pulling your straps any further.

“Why…?” You pushed yourself up towards him, barely able to balance your body he held you by your waist keeping you still. Your eyes struggling to stay open as your hands fell on his shoulders slowly moving to his chest.

“Why don’t you wanna fuck me…?”You whispered with a slight frown.

“Just this one time….please…I’m so wet right now..” His jaw clenching as he felt you tug at his shirt, the ache he began to feel throbbing in his pants becoming too much to bear.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed” he abruptly stood up and picked you up as you mumbled things he couldn’t understand drifting in and out of sleep. Drunk wasn’t the word, he wondered if you’d remember any of this in the morning. A part of him hoping you would.

Laying you down, he watched you turn towards the wall falling into a deeper sleep.

Slowly he pulled a blanket over you before taking a step back. Rubbing his face he tried to snap himself out of the thoughts you put in his mind. Thoughts that he knew couldn’t happen as aroused as they may have made him. His phone suddenly buzzing distracting him when he noticed his daughter was calling.

“Hey, she in bed?” Sarah asked.

“Yeah, yeah, she’s asleep” he assured her.

“Was she crying? Or talking your ear off?” She chuckled.

“No no, she uh, went straight to sleep” he responded as if you hadn’t just been asking him to fuck you giving him a massive hard on.

“Oh good, so I’ll be there around eight. See you soon, thanks and goodnight dad”

“Goodnight baby” he clicked his phone off and took a deep breath.

He could barely walk with how hard you left him, he hoped a cold shower would help him as he began to run the water.

Standing in the shower he let the cold water fall over him but nothing seemed to help. His cock was solid as he struggled to stop thinking about the way you practically begged for him.

“Just this one time..” he could hear your voice in his head repeatedly. Unable to help himself any longer he began to stroke himself, picturing you taking in every inch of him. Begging for more and more until you couldn’t take it anymore. His eyes rolling back as his hand moved faster, his body leaned sideways against the wall, he knew he was about to explode. After how long he held himself he couldn’t control it any longer. Balancing himself with one hand on the wall in front of him, he leaned over as he came heavily..

“Holy fuck” he breathed deeply, stroking himself slowly. The cold shower refreshing him as he took a step back and let the water wash over him.

The next day you woke up to a pounding headache and slight nausea.

“I’m never drinking again” you grumbled rubbing your head before you began to look around and noticed where you were.

“Sarah?” You looked to the other side of the room to see you were alone.

“Shit” you sighed, you forgot she had left town a few days ago which only meant her father had bought you here. Struggling to understand how that even came to be you began to get little flashbacks of the night before. His large hands rolling up your stockings you covered your lips in shock with yourself when you remembered something you said.

Did you say it? Or did you just think it?

“Jesus Christ” you whispered rubbing your forehead.

Slowly opening Sarah’s bedroom door tip toed to the bathroom before Joel could see you. Freshening yourself up you looked at yourself in the mirror and took a deep breath. The cold water touching your skin slightly relieving a bit of your headache before you walked out.

Walking to the kitchen you could see Joel with his back to you reading something on the counter. Unsure of what to say you hesitated to walk towards him when he turned around.

“Hi” you whispered awkwardly as he stared at you at the doorway.

“Mornin’” he mumbled low, he wondered if you remembered anything from the night before.

“I um..-“ you took a few steps forward.

“Did Sarah ask you to bring me here?”

“Mhm. You were upset and drunk…she was worried. I found ya outside with some jackass tryna take ya home” you looked down a bit embarrassed.

“But I wasn’t gonna let that happen, I bought cha right back here like Sarah asked” he assured you as he took a couple steps forward.

“Look, I’m so sorry if I said anything-“ you looked up at him noticing how much closer he was. Eagerness in his eyes as he looked down at you holding back from all the things he truly wanted to say.

Just by the look he gave you, you knew what you remembered wasn’t a dream. Last night you were asking your best friends dad to fuck you, your realization leaving you speechless. You wondered if it had gone any further, you wondered what else was said.

“Did we-“

“No” he quickly cut in.

“I wouldn’t have allowed that in your state” he assured you but you could tell he wanted to say more. The tension between you two was something you couldn’t describe.

”What else did I say or do..?” You asked hesitantly. Joel stood silent for a moment, looking to the side he remembered how you attempted to pull your dress down, he remembered how you wrapped your arms around him, tugged at his shirt as you begged to have him inside you…but he didn’t dare admit it. He knew you were embarrassed enough to then go into detail on all the things that aroused him. That was of course the main secret…you had no idea just how much you aroused him. You had no idea you left him with an ache that he knew he couldn’t fulfill…not with you being Sarah’s friend.

“Mr.Miller?” Your voice distracting him from his thoughts making him look up.

“Did I say anything else?” You asked once again as his body language became tense.

“No” he turned away finding something to keep himself busy with in the kitchen. He could feel himself getting hard just thinking about last night and he needed you gone. Now.

“I didn’t expect for Sarah to call you nor did I even plan on drinking that much, I just..” your voice trailing off in the background as he fought the urge he felt.

“I just wanted to apologize” he suddenly slammed his fist down on the counter cutting you off. He couldn’t take it any longer.

“You need to leave” he blurt out without turning back to you

“Oh…I...” he left you speechless, never had he spoken to you this way, you hadn’t even realized he was pissed.

“I’m sorry Mr.Miller” you whispered before grabbing your belongings and quickly walking out. Joel felt guilty asking you to leave the way he did but he knew there was no other way out of this.

Fifteen minutes later Sarah walked in humming to herself expecting to see you.

Joel stood quietly in the kitchen taking a sip of his coffee.

“Hey, how’d you sleep? I was just about to give y/n a ride home” she began to walk towards her room as her father responded.

“She left” she stopped and turned to him with a raised brow.

“When?”

“Just now” he motioned towards the front door without looking at Sarah.

“Why would she leave? Why wouldn’t she wait for me?” Joel stood silent as Sarah walked towards her father in curiosity.

“Did she say anything-“

“Look” he suddenly looked directly into Sarah’s eyes.

“She’s not to come here for some time” his words confusing Sarah. She furrowed her brows dropping her bags.

“What? Why not? Did she do something”

“I don’t need you having that damn influence around ya” he struggled in finding an excuse turning away from her.

“What influence? You know she barely ever drinks, she’s never done this before-“

“Yeah well that’s where it starts and before ya know it you’ll be drunk at some bar with someone loser tryna take ya home” Joel hoped Sarah would drop it. There was no way he could admit the true reason he couldn’t take having you around. Sarah didn’t understand it, shaking her head she crossed her arms.

“Dad she’s my best friend, what am I suppose to tell her?” Joel suddenly turned to Sarah, his eyes looking for answers, wondering what to say.

“Tell her the truth, she’ll understand” he whispered before walking off to his room and slamming the door shut.

Joel frustratedly sat on the edge of his bed. He knew he couldn’t avoid you forever but he hoped the craving he had for you would eventually go away. It had to. He knew nothing could happen between you and him as much as he wanted it to yet his mind couldn’t stop pushing him, pushing him to a point of no return….

@l0veang3l @moonpascal @katmoonz @joelsteinfeld @picketniffler @stcrrjoon @itsamandi @starry-eyes-love @theoraekenslover @psychoenergy @joeldjarin @bambisweethearts @baronessvonglitter @mangoslushcrush @guelyury @mynameistokyo @katiemarieeee

[biggestsimponhere]

‘Tis the damn season

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

➻ Synopsis: You left your hometown at 18 yet here you stand ten years later in front of the only person you’ve ever loved

➻ Requests are always welcome!!!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆｡ﾟ. ───

If i wanted to know who you were hanging with while i was gone i would have asked you

There was once a time when you could have asked Tyler Owen’s anything and you would’ve gotten an answer. But you left. Ten years ago. Something about the small town thing that you couldn’t get over, you felt trapped. Now you lay in your bed, it’s cold out, you’re curled under blankets and watching videos of the so called tornado wrangler on youtube. You smile despite yourself, you had missed him but you had to go.

A girl enters the side of the screen, one you didn’t recognize. Her hair was blonde with dark brown roots, her doe eyes practically sparkling as she looks at tyler. You can’t help the pang of loss that shoots through your chest. You push the feeling down and turn off your phone, shoving it far underneath your pillow. You have no right to be jealous you know that but you miss him and then there’s her, you can’t get the image of her out of your mind as you lay there in the dark. Your eye catches on a shirt hanging off the handle of your closet door.

Tyler’s shirt. You remember the day you got that shirt so vividly. It was cold, despite the heat that usually comes being on the south, arkansas winter had a way of chilling you when you didn’t want it. The two of you were walking home from local diner, it was late and snowing and neither of you had thought to bring a coat. Tyler had shrugged off his flannel and draped it over your shoulders before pulling you closer. The two of you walked to your house practically glued at the hip.

It’s the kind of cold, fogs up windshield glass but i felt it when i passed you, there’s an ache in you, put there by the ache in me

“Y/n?” A voice calls from your left. You had been out shopping, grabbing some last minute things your mom needed to cook, because of course she would send you. Luckily for you it wasn’t tyler’s voice. It was boones. You smile as you turn and greet him. “Does ty know you’re back in town? I mean he must not if he hasn’t already shown up at your door” Boone questions as he stares at you. “He doesn’t know i’m back and you can’t tell him, i’m going to leave as soon as the holidays are over” You say pleadingly. Lily slides into the conversation seemingly having overheard you two.

You glance at lily, “wait, he’s not here right?” you ask slightly panicked. “No he’s not, he sent us out to get things, you know how he is” Lily shrugged. You breathe out a sigh of relief but can’t help the longing that goes through you. “You’re going to have to tell him y/n” Lily says sternly. You know you left things shaky, you also know Tyler never got an explanation. “He doesn’t need me ruining his life,” You shake your head, “He’s got that girl, i saw her on the video” You say quietly. “Who? Kate?” Boone laughs. You find yourself quirking an eyebrow at him because what’s so funny.

“Why are you laughing bo, i’m serious” You say softly, trying to keep your true emotions from slipping through. “If you think tyler’s gotten over you just because you’ve been gone for ten years then you are absolutely ridiculous” He wipes tears from his eyes as he laughs. “What’re you talking about bo, there’s no way he still misses me” You interject breaking through his laughter. “I’ve gotta go, i’ve missed you both… don’t tell ty… please” You say quietly as you hug them. They both give you their reassurance that they won’t tell him but they think you should.

i’m stayin at my parents house, and the road not taken looks real good now

Being back in your high school bedroom is harder than you thought it would be. They didn’t touch anything. The pictures of you and tyler, happy, smiling from ear to ear decorate every corner of your mirror. You stare at them for a minute before pulling one off. It’s always been your favorite one, the two of you had taken it while trying to figure out how to use your polaroid camera when you first got it. It was slightly blurry but the smiles beaming at you through the photo tell you all you need to know. Tyler had taken it, his arms outstretched as he holds the camera away from the two of you, you’re reaching for it in the photo and maybe that’s why it’s tilted like that or maybe it’s because tyler’s hand was shaking so bad from laughing.

You curl back onto your bed, the polaroid clutched in your hand as you bring the covers up under your chin. You’ve never been one for wallowing but there’s something about being back here. Your mother finds you like that hours later. She sits on the bed beside you, softly pulling the polaroid from your hand and setting it on your nightstand. She knows you miss tyler. She also knows why you left in the first place. She tucks the blanket tighter around you and kisses your head softly before heading back out of the room. You don’t wake despite the creaking of the old door as she shuts it.

She heads back downstairs and settles back into the kitchen. After baking for about an hour or two she does what any sane mother would do and she pulls out the phone book. She laughs quietly as she searches for the number and smiles triumphantly once she’s got it. She moves to the phone hanging on the wall. Despite all the gorgeous technological advancements of the twenty first century your mother refuses to give up her landline, claims her grandkids are gonna know how to properly use a phone. “Yes? Tyler? She’s home” Your mom sighs softly into the phone. You may blame her for this but she doesn’t care.

Time flies, messy as the mud on your truck tired, now i’m missing your smile, hear. me. out.

Tyler’s at your house in the next half an hour. Your mother greets him at the door. She invites him in and lets him know that you’re still asleep. “I guess i just don’t understand why you called” He says as he sits at the table, his chair, it takes him a moment to realize. He’s sitting in the chair he sat in for four years. “She misses you, she won’t say it but she does, she needs you” Your mother says as she joins him at the table. Tyler quirks his head at that, you left, what could you possibly need from him. “I’m sorry ma’am i’m just not really gettin it” He says quietly.

“I thought we’ve moved past you calling me ma’am” She reminds him softly. He nods, looking down. “To answer your question, i think she’s lost it, now i don’t mean her mind ya know, but her love of everything really, i know she left because she felt trapped but she stopped coming home, she stopped writing, somethings going on tyler” She explains as she sips on her coffee. Tyler’s expression shifts from confused to concerned. “What do ya mean?” He asks calmly, hoping not to project how badly he wants to run upstairs and wrap you in his arms. “She hasn’t come out of that room for days, i sent her out yesterday and she came home, dazed, she needs you” Her tone makes something shift in tyler.

“Can i.. can i go up there?” He’s practically bursting with the need to hold you. Your mother nods, a slight smile forming on her lips. He’s up the stairs before she gets the chance to say anything else. The door to your room creaks but you don’t look up, assuming it must be your mother again. “Sweetheart” A voice comes from the door. That’s not your mother. You’d know that voice anywhere. You jolt up in your bed. “Ty?” You question as your eyes adjust to the light pouring in from the hall. He shuts the door behind him, dowsing your bedroom back into darkness. The only light coming from the moon reflecting on the snow outside your window.

But if it’s okay with you, it’s okay with me. We could call it even, you could call me babe for the weekend. ‘Tis the damn season.

Tyler moves closer to your bed, but slowly, sort of like approaching an animal that doesn’t want to be approached. “It’s me darling” He says as he draws closer. He’s reaching over to wipe the tears from your cheeks before you even realize you’re crying. You lean into his touch instinctively. “What’re you doing here ty?” You’re pushing back more tears as he sits beside you. He looks warm. Warmer than the cold bed you’re laying in. “Your ma called me”. You laugh disbelievingly. Of course she did.

“You didn’t have to come ty, i’m fine” You say unconvincingly. “Oh i’m sure you are sweetheart” The pet names he’s lathering you in almost make you forget how long you’ve been gone. “Why don’t we go out, you can come to mine, the team misses you yknow” He says as he pulls you into his side. Every time he touches you it’s delicate like he’s afraid you’ll push him away, but you don’t. You never could and you never would. “Really? You want me there?” You push at your nose, trying to get it to stop running. “I always want you around, you know that” He runs his fingers through your hair till you’ve relaxed against him once again.

It always leads to you, in my hometown, sleep in, half the day. Just for, old times sake. I wont ask you to wait if you don’t ask me to stay.

It takes little to no convincing from there to get you to join him at his farmhouse. Snow glistens, costing the fields of grass and dirt. You’ve packed a bag, a small one but tyler wanted you around and you’d take what you can get. You don’t know what it is about being around him that makes you want to be yourself but there’s a pleasant safe feeling that fills the air. He pulls into the driveway of his family’s farm house. You smile at the sight of it, it looks just the same as it always has only this time it’s topped with fresh white snow. You smile slightly as you notice the team in the living room through the window.

Tyler helps you out of the truck and grabs your bag before helping you over the ice and inside. “You know where the guest room is” He says as he gestures down the hall. He’s right you do. The only guest room you’ve ever stayed in at his house despite the very many. It’s the one right beside his room. He always told you he wanted you as close as possible if his parents wouldn’t let you sleep in the same room. You smile at the memory as you set your bag down on the bed. You start walking back towards the living room when you heard something “She’s home huh?” You don’t know that voice, but you can only assume it belongs to that doe eyed blonde.

“She is” You can hear the smile in tyler’s response and it makes you feel slightly better about yourself. The group welcomes you back in like you’ve never been gone and you sit beside tyler as some christmas movie plays. Kate, you learned her name, sits across the room at a love chair alone. She’s been staring at you two for the past fifteen minutes and it’s getting a bit harder to ignore. When you stand and head to the kitchen for some water she follows you. You get slightly concerned she’s dating tyler before she explains her reason for following you out here. “I’ve not know him long, but i could tell something was wrong, and in this short period of time that you’ve been here it’s like you’ve ignited something in him” She says as she stares at you

It always leads to you in my hometown. it always leads to you… in my hometown.

Later that night you’re tossing and turning in bed. You can’t stop thinking about when you left, why you left, or if it was even worth it. Three knocks sound on the other side of the wall. You smile despite yourself. You know who it is, it’s tyler. You reach up and knock back twice. The confirmation that you’re still awake. He knocks back four times. An asking. More like a begging. Begging you to join him in his room. You think about it for a minute before you climb out of the guest bed, which is still slightly cold despite you lying in it for an hour. You make your way to tyler’s room and walk towards his bed.

He reaches out for you and pulls you down like no time has passed. You smile at him as he burries his face in your neck. “I’ve missed you” It’s said so softly against your skin that you almost missed it. You run a hand through his hair and he burrows further into you. “I’ve missed you too ty, i’m sorry” You say as you tuck your face into his neck. “don’t have to be sorry, just don’t leave me again” he sounds like a kid but he can’t help it. You nod against his neck. You’re not leaving. Nothing could take you away from this. Not again. You can feel his body relax against yours as you tell him you’re not going anywhere.

There are things the two of you are going to have to work on but for now… here… in his warm bed, cuddled up together nothing else really matters.

[atleastpleasetelephone]

Kintober Day 18 - Body Writing

Pairing: BDE x reader

Word count: 1.1K

TWs: Body image issues, erectile dysfunction, angst, fluff, actually not much smut to speak of.

Elvis arrives back at the hotel still in his jumpsuit and collapses into the nearest armchair. He hadn’t felt like company so he told the guys to go to their own rooms, but he always feels like seeing you. He kicks his shoes off as you finish applying your lipstick in the vanity mirror. 

“Ya don’t need to do that, honey,” he tells you, wearily. He will admit that he used to want you dolled up for him every night, but the strains of the road and the discomfort in his body lately just make him want to crawl into bed and fall asleep with you in his arms. He should probably shower, first, though. 

You’ve put on his favourite lingerie set and a silky robe, you’re freshly showered and you just spent ages doing your face. You know he’s tired, but you wouldn’t mind just a little attention. 

“I just wanted to look pretty for ya, Daddy,” you tell him, slinking across the room and then landing gently in his lap. 

His hands go instinctively to your hips and he can’t help smiling at you. You do look as pretty as a picture. Even prettier when you untie your robe, letting it hang open and exposing that lovely white lace bra and panties he bought for you the other day.

“Ya look beautiful, baby,” he tells you, stroking your cheek with a finger. “But Daddy’s had a long day,” he sighs. 

You pout. “Baby just wants ta love on ya a little.”

“I don’t know, honey. This fat old man needs a shower.”

You giggle. “You’re not fat, or old.” 

He raises both eyebrows. “Feel like it, honey.”

You nuzzle your nose into his. “Well I don’t think so. Let me help you outta this suit, if ya wanna shower.”

He nods, watching with amusement as you try to unzip it with your teeth.

“You’re gonna get lipstick on it, honey,” he tells you, though he doesn’t really care. 

You finally get the zipper open to just above his belly, then start pressing kisses to his hairy, sweaty chest. 

“I’m gonna get lipstick on you!” You tease, and he looks down to see red lip marks dotted across his skin. 

“Goddamn, baby!” He laughs. 

You shrug. “You’re showering anyway.”

He smiles and pulls you against him, one hand in your hair as he starts to kiss you, gently at first and then more thoroughly, his tongue exploring your mouth. When you pull apart again you realise you’ve left the rest of your lipstick on his lips and you giggle. That gives you an idea. Quickly jumping off his lap you run back over to your vanity. He’s confused, but he doesn’t have much time to think about as seconds later you’re back, lipstick in hand.  He chuckles. You reapply it to your lips and then take his face in both of your hands, pausing to admire how gorgeous he is before you kiss him all over, leaving him covered in red lip marks. 

“Baby!” He’s playing at pushing you away as he giggles like a teenager. 

You giggle too, letting go of his face at returning to your original task of removing his suit. Pulling it suit off his shoulders you kiss them too, reapplying lipstick whenever you see the marks getting too light. You kiss his fingers individually, then his palms, the backs of his hands. Not wanting his arms to feel left out, you press kisses to his wrists and then trail them all the way up, even kissing his sweaty armpit, making him giggle and protest that it tickles. 

Once you feel like you’ve kissed all the exposed skin thoroughly, you go back to unzipping his suit, pulling the zipper down all the way now. You’re just applying another fresh coat of lipstick when he looks down at his belly and sighs. 

“Ah, don’t do that, honey. I need ta shower.” 

He makes to get up from the chair and you put your hand on his chest, firmly. 

“No. I’m lovin’ on ya, Daddy. You’re stayin’ here and enjoyin’ it.”

He grumbles, trying again to move. He was enjoying himself, but this is enough now. He needs to get clean. You struggle to stay on his lap as he tries to stand, despite you being in the way. Then suddenly you have an idea. Taking the lid off the lipstick again you start to write on his skin, right across his belly. 

Sexy.

He stops trying to get up and stares down at the word, and then at you as you pepper his skin with more lipstick-kisses. What are you doing?

You look up, noting his reaction, and then you write across his chest. 

Gorgeous.

He wants to say something to you to get you to stop, but the words are stuck in his throat. You move from his lap and make short work of pulling his jumpsuit and pants off completely, so he’s naked in the armchair now. He stares at you intensely. He knows he could get up now, but he feels trapped in the chair, somehow. He wants to move, but he can’t. You watch his chest rise and fall as his breathing gets more erratic, then you drop to your knees between his legs and kiss up each thigh, stopping just shy of the top. You hear him make a strangled noise in his throat, and look up for a second before burying your face in his groin. He whines. You kiss his balls and his soft dick, still cucooned in foreskin. 

“Baby,” he whispers, finally managing to force the words out, his face hot and red with embarrassment. 

You just shake your head, and pick up the lipstick again. You write just above his dick, with two arrows pointing down.

My favourite part. Even when it’s soft.

To prove your point, you gently take him in your mouth, licking and sucking even though there’s no sign of Little Elvis coming out of his cucoon any time soon. He looks down at you, his chest heaving, tears pricking in the corners of his eyes. How on earth did he get you? And why did you stay?

Once you’ve had enough you crawl back onto his lap and let him hold you tightly, listening to his little moans in your ear. 

“Thank you, baby,” he whispers. 

You grumble contentedly, nuzzling his neck. “Jus’ wanted to show ya how much I love ya, Daddy.”

He grips you even more tightly. “I love ya too baby.”

You sit there for a little while, him trying to steady his breathing and you enjoying the feeling of him all around you, breathing in his smell. Eventually you feel his body relax. 

“Time for your shower?” You ask. 

He shifts so he can look into your eyes, his hand on your face. 

“No, baby. Don’t think I wanna wash all this off just yet.”

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@absurdthirst's Kinktober 2023 Prompts

day 20: Uniform, Titjob, Thighfucking

𝐋𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐫

| PAIRING(s): Joel Miller x virgin!fem!reader | RATING: explicit material | 18+ | WORD COUNT: 828 | CONTENT: inexperienced virgin, Joel makes you wait, thigh fucking, allusion to public sex acts, implied girthy age gap | SYNOPSIS: Joel vows to make good on his promise to be your first, but a thigh fucking will have to do for now.

He’d promised you’d do it soon. He’d promised he was still interested and was just taking the time it deserved — doing this right. That he just wanted to make sure you’d be able to take him with as little difficulty as possible, only the inevitable discomfort of something new. 

“Once I start, I don’t know how good I’m gonna be at stayin’ slow,” he’d warned you. Part of you wanted him to take you apart piece by piece and put you back together however he saw fit. Part of you wanted him to wreck you, to destroy you for any other man than him – he’d already done so in every other way. But mostly you knew he was right. 

It was bad enough that you were well past the age of exploration and discovery and “should be” hurtling towards settling into yourself and your preferences. The “late bloomer” moniker, once a fitting and apt handle, now felt more spiteful in its imagery. You were a dying bloom on a withered vine when you met Joel Miller, and that was the first time you’d ever understood all those sort of passionate tales and hormone laden exploits of your peers and friends.

But unlike the late teen early twenty somethings that those stories boasted, Joel wasn’t in a rush to say yes to just any offer of physical intimacy. Turns out having a daughter of his own played a big factor in how he approached and treated women. It was the sort of gentlemanly respect that drove you up a wall. You finally met someone who made your insides feel like a match thrown into a powder keg, and he insisted on taking it slow. 

Yes, you didn’t want to have a bad first experience and then be put off intimacy from then on. Yes, you recognized a newfound impatience when it came to his body and yours together. Yes, you wanted your first time to be special and slow and feel good and be with the right person. 

But you knew he was the right person. And right now when you feel the heft of him dragging between your clamped legs, you have half a mind to just line it up yourself and push onto it, pain be damned. Your inner thighs drip with your own arousal. The saliva Joel had spit onto his hand and worked over his cock wasn’t necessary anymore, not when you were so worked up and wet for him.

He glided with ease and groaned in unison with you every time the lip of his head stuttered across your clit. It felt amazing, but you wanted more. Always wanted more. You’d take what he’d give, though, for now. Knowing one day he’ll give more than what you could manage but talk you through it.

“You make the prettiest fuckin’ noises,” he grunts next to your ear.

You weren’t aware you were making noises – not loudly, anyway. That was sort of an unspoken part of this deal. Something to be kept quiet, between the two of you, until you were sure. You’d told him a million times you were sure, but it was like he was waiting for you to wake up and realize you could have literally anyone else but an old, washed up man like him. You didn’t see him as anything of the sort, and you had never felt anything like this for anyone else.

“C-Can’t help it,” you whine. “You feel so–oh!– so good.”

“Think one’uh these days—” his breath hitches and stalls as he picks up his pace between your thighs “—real soon I’ll give it to ya.”

You moan an exhale, elation and victory at some firmer sort of promise as to when he’ll finally fill you up and make you his. “I’m ready. I– I can t-take it.”

“Lemme make you come like this, honey. Lemme see what you’ll look like fallin’ apart on my cock.”

Your wrists dig into the brick siding where you’ve braced your body. His length rubbed back and forth, the quickening pace giving you a clear imagining of what his cockhead would feel like punching into your cervix. Your body clenches up, your legs slamming together even tighter as you bite back the sounds of your climax.

“Oohh fuck, there she is. Yeah, goddamn—”

A heaved groan. His arms slipping around your middle to hold you close as he stills and releases against the brick. You watch it drip down, thick and slow, and think of what it will feel like to be full of him, left dripping for the rest of the day when he spills inside you after wrecking you.

His breathing levels behind you, and a soft chuckle earns one of your own. “Think next time around we should just take it to my bed, huh?”

You nod in urgent agreement. You’d already waited so long for him. What was one more “next time” in the grand scheme of things?

[onlyfezco]

Forget Me Not - Fezco

Summary: Fez forgets your date Friday night and he spends the weekend trying to get back on your good side

Fezco x Reader

Word count: 2,247

Author’s Note: This just started because I thought about blasting music that fit my mood when I was mad and the other person realizing I was mad based off the lyrics lol. Comments and reblogs are appreciated. The divider is from @firefly-graphics​

It had been a long night. Fez got word about a party happening last minute and him and Ash needed to go to lessen the load of Mouse’s latest supply. Before the party, Fez had been at the store for most of the day. He was ready to count up the money from tonight and go straight to bed.

“You’re in trouble,” Fez heard Ash say from the living room. He finished locking the door then made his way towards his brother.

“What I do,” Fez asked, then his eyes followed Ash’s to the couch where you lay sleeping. 

“Oh shit,” Fez said, rubbing his hand over his shaved head. Normally, this wouldn’t be Fez’s reaction to seeing his girlfriend. Especially, after a super long day. But it was your nice black dress and perfectly done hair that reminded Fez he forgot about your date. 

“Yeah, shit,” Ash chuckled dropping his backpack on the kitchen table. “She’s gonna be pissed.”

“I forgot she was stayin’ over this weekend. Her roommate’s army boyfriend was comin’ home for the weekend and she ain’t want to stay around for them reunitin’ for three days straight.”

“So she’s gonna be mad at you all weekend here? That’s hilarious,” Ash said with a silent laugh so he wouldn’t wake you.

“Man, shut the fuck up,” Fez whispered to his brother. By no means was any of this funny. 

“I’mma let you deal with that. I’m goin’ to my room.”

Once Ash was gone, Fez squatted down so he was on eyelevel with you. “Ma,” he said softly. “Ma, wake up.” You stirred a little but your eyes were still closed. “Come on, let’s get you in bed,” Fez said gently shaking you now.

Your eyes opened briefly, then closed again. “I’m fine here,” you replied flatly, then rolled over so your back was to Fezco now. 

Fez sighed. “Come on, baby. I’m sorry. I heard about a party the other day, and you know I got this extra supply to get rid of this month.”

“So not only did you go to a party without me, you didn’t call to let me know you’d be home late either? Nice to know I’m so forgettable.” You readjusted on the couch then pulled the blanket down to cover yourself up. After about an hour of Fez not showing up and not hearing anything from him, you took your makeup off and got comfortable on the couch. 

You knew you were being a bit childish. You could have easily called Fez to see where he was at, or remind him of your plans. But you had been texting him for most of the day anyway. It hurt that even though you should have been on his mind already, he still forgot about your date and you coming over. 

“You’re not. I know you’re mad, but at least sleep in my bed tonight.”

“No thank you.”

Fez sighed again frustrated with how stubborn you were. “You don’t have to sleep with me. I’ll take the couch.”

“No. Thank you,” you repeated more sternly this time. 

Fez just stayed there for a moment staring at your back hoping you’d give in and go to his bed. But you were stubborn and didn’t budge an inch. Fez stood up then walked to the kitchen table to put the money him and ash made tonight up somewhere safe. He wasn’t in the mood to sit there and count the profits right now. He’d worry about that tomorrow. He began making his way to his room, but glanced at the couch before he went down the hall to see if you changed your mind. You didn’t. He sighed then made the trek to his bedroom alone for the night. 

Well I'm not gon' cry

I'm not gon' cry

I'm not gon' shed no tears

Fezco practically shot up out of his bed at the loud music. He looked around the room and realized it was morning from the faint light pouring in from behind his curtains. He shook his head then got out of bed to see where the noise was coming from.

Ash was sitting at the kitchen table watching some Youtube video with his headphones in while shoveling pancakes and eggs into his mouth. He walked into the kitchen to see you flipping a pancake over as you sang to the Mary J. Blige song. You were obviously still upset. He knew you would occasionally play some 90′s R&B while you cooked, but playing Mary this loud was a sign you were mad.

“Morning, ma,” Fez said testing the waters with you. Normally when he’d catch you cooking in his kitchen, he would come up behind you and kiss your neck. But he didn’t want to make the mistake of touching you and making your madder right now. He didn’t think he could handle you pushing him away. 

Fez was met with silence as you grabbed a plate with some eggs already on it and placed the pancake down. “Come on, Y/N. I said I was sorry.” 

You still ignored him, putting the skillet into the sink then walking over to the table to sit down. You grabbed the syrup that was next to Ash and poured it over your pancakes. Fez looked around the kitchen and saw that there was no food for him. He sighed, his shoulders slumping. He grabbed a bowl from the cabinet and poured himself some cereal. Usually, he would sit next to you at the table, but he sat from across from you instead.

Ash looked up from his phone and eyed the both of you. He was sitting in the middle of you two and could feel the animosity.

The Mary song faded out, but another angsty one was up next. 

Baby Let Me Explain To You I'm Sayin

What You Sayin

It's Not Even Like That

It Wasn't Like That But I Saw You

Your eyes glanced up at Fez across the table from you but his eyes were already on you. Your eyes became angry as you glared at him then went back to your plate. Fez just sighed. Ash rushed to finish his food so he could hurry up and leave before things got more tense. 

It was almost noon now, so it was time for Marie’s bath. On weekend’s when you came over, you volunteered to help Fez with his grandma. You always called it girl time and you weren’t going to let your anger at her grandson stop that.

“You won’t believe what your grandson did now,” you spoke to the old woman. Just because she was bedridden and couldn’t speak, didn’t mean you couldn’t keep her updated on what was going on.

“He forgot that I was coming over,” you said as you moved the warm towel up and down her arm. “And on top of that, he went to a party. Without me!” 

As usual, you were met with silence. Fezco spoke so highly of his grandma when he first told you about her. Kitty was a badass. You hoped she would have liked you. Fez always said she would have loved you. 

“I know Mouse’s punk ass dumped more product on him than usual, but if Fez would have told me he was going, I wouldn’t have mind.” 

It was quiet for a moment. Just the sound of you dumping the towel back in the water then ringing it out. 

“I know this is mostly my issue of being forgotten and I’m making a big deal out it, but it hurts.”

You were so busy in your own head and giving Marie her bath that you didn’t hear Fez’s footsteps coming down the hall. He was at his grandmother’s door listening to everything you said. He was so upset with himself over the situation. There you were, giving his bedridden grandmother a sponge bath after he made you angry. Most people would have said screw it and not done anything for Fez. But that morning you made his brother breakfast and now this. God, he loved you. He had to find a way to make it up to you. 

After you were done with Marie, Ash convinced you to drive him to the mall so he could get some new shoes. You decided to make an afternoon of it since you weren’t planning on doing anything with Fez today. The two of you went to the movies after he bought his shoes. You paid for the tickets and he paid for the snacks. You told him he didn’t have to buy the snacks since you’re the one who decided to see a movie, but Ash insisted. Sometimes he would go to the movies with you and Fez, so he was just doing what he always saw. Fez would buy the tickets, and you would buy the snacks... well, sneak them in your purse. It was cute that Ash did that. You kissed him on the head and he wiped it off.

By the time you made it back to the O’Neil house, it was around 6. Ash asked you to drop him off at his friend’s place and said he would call you when he was ready to go. You were happy Ash was doing some normal child things, but you were bummed because that meant it would just be you and Fez. You started to think you should just forgive him. No point in holding out a grudge this pointless for too long. 

You used your key to get in and walked down the hall to drop your shopping bag by the couch, but the dim lighting and candles through you off. Cautiously, you looked around. It was way too quiet. 

You heard soft footsteps coming down the hall then turned to see your boyfriend in dress pants and a button down shirt holding your favorite flowers. 

“Hey,” Fez said softly.

“Hey,” you replied back just as soft. 

He walked closer to you then handed you the bouquet. “I got you these.”

You glanced down at the flowers then into Fez’s eyes as you reached out to grab the bouquet. Fez saw the small smile on your face and took that as a good sign. 

“I’m sorry, ma. I didn’t mean to forget our date or you comin’ over. It slipped my mind, but it ain’t gonna happen again.”

“I know, Fez. And I’m sorry, too,” you said, a hint of sadness in your voice.

Fez’s face scrunched up in confusion. “What you sorry fo’?”

You shook your head. “For ignoring you. For getting that mad at something so small.”

Fez walked closer to you shaking his head, grabbing your free hand. “Nah, you had a right to be mad. It was important to you that I remembered our date, and I didn’t. I don’t wanna ever make you feel bad and that’s what I did.”

Your hand tightened around Fez’s. Your eyes glanced around before they landed on Fez’s piercing eyes. “I just... I have issues with being forgotten about.” Fez slowly stepped in closer to you and you automatically leaned into him. He grabbed the flowers from your hand, placing them on the table so he could grab your other hand as well. You laid your head on his chest.

“You don’t have to worry about that with me, ma,” Fez said reassuringly, making you nuzzle in closer to him. “You, Ash, and Grandma are the most important people in my life. Even if I slip up n’ miss a date, I could never forget you. I love you too much.”

You let go of Fez’s hands and wrapped them around his waist squeezing him tightly. “I love you too.” 

Although you were no longer looking at him, Fez could hear it in your voice that were crying now. Fez wrapped one arm around you, and used his other to lift your face so he could look at you.

“Don’t cry, baby. You know I hate that.”

You sniffled, trying to stop the tears from falling. “I know. I just feel bad. I shouldn’t have ignored you.”

Fezco kissed your forehead, his lips lingering for just a moment. “It’s done. But let’s promise not to ignore each other, ‘kay?”

You nodded then exhaled trying to calm yourself down. “Okay.”

“Good,” Fez replied. He stepped back from you, your hands dropping down beside you, then he grabbed your hand and began leading you to your spot at the table. “Now, let’s enjoy this food I made.”

“You made this,” you asked smiling as you looked down at the delicious food in the center of the table. Fez could hear the doubt in your voice.

He pulled your chair out for you before he answered. “Well, I paid for it and put it on the nice glass plates. That’s basically makin’ it.”

“You made it look nice. You didn’t make it,” you corrected, giggling at him. You reached your hand out on top of the table once Fez sat down across from you. He took that as a sign you wanted to hold his hand. He reached out, his fingers interlacing with yours. “I love it though,” you told him. Your voice sweet like the syrup on a snow cone. “And I love you,” you added, squeezing his hand.

Fez’s lips curled up into a smile. He knows you mean it. Despite whatever happens, you always mean it.  “Love you too, ma.”

[schemmentis]

Somethin' Stupid

Prompt: Melissa, as a teenager, needs you to help her with her lessons. Her dyslexia keeps her from writing an essay for class. Stubborn as always, she doesn’t want anyone to help. You make it your mission to help her anyway.

Warnings: Dyslexia and my poorly researched use of Philadelphia things from the late '70s/early '80s

Word Count: 2.6k

You look up from the paper you’re working on at a groan across the table from you. A head of red hair lowers until a forehead lightly thunks against the wood of the kitchen table. You smile slightly at the dramatics of Melissa across from you. 

You met Melissa in second grade when your family moved to Philly. The two of you became fast friends with your shared interests. Though at seven years old it’s not really hard to have shared interests. Still, your friendship grew as the two of you did. Even as you aged and found your own interests, you and Melissa were inseparable. 

Now, you’re in high school and as close as you’ve always been. Most afternoons after school you walk home with Melissa to her house. You spend an hour or two going over homework with her in companionable silence. Sometimes you stay for dinner, others you head home in time to eat dinner with your parents. Your house is Melissa's second home just as hers is yours. Your parents have become friends simply because the two of you are and insist on being with the other so much.

“Do you want me to help?” You ask, propping your chin in your hand as your elbow leans on the table.

“No.” Melissa’s answer is muffled into the table.

You roll your eyes. She’s always had a hard time accepting help. You remember in third grade offering to help her color just to be doing it with her. She had looked at you and said she ‘didn’t need help’ but you could color with her as long as you weren’t helping her color. You smile softly at the memory. Your stubborn Mel, just like always.

“What are you working on, anyway?” You ask, still looking only at her hair since her forehead is pressed to the wood.

After a heavy sigh, Melissa lifts her head to look at you. She huffs one more time, extra hard, to blow the hair in her face away. “English.” She grumbles. “I have an essay for midterm.” 

“Midterm?” You repeat, your hand falling away from your chin to the table with a thud. “Mel, that’s next week. How much have you done?”

“My name?” Melissa sheepishly answers with a small shrug of her shoulders. She looks more at her paper and the table than at you.

“I can help, Mel.” You repeat your offer, quietly. “You know I’m the weird one that likes essays.”

“Yea, you've always been better with that stuff than me.” Melissa agrees, reclaiming the pencil she’d dropped onto the table. “No, I don’t need help. I’ll figure it out.”

You sigh. You know she’ll never ask for help, or accept it. You know, too, when not to push her though. So, you let it go. You refocus on finishing your own paper as Melissa returns her attention to her own. Though, when you glance across the table at her after a few minutes, you can tell she hasn’t added much, if anything. You’re about to make a comment when the door to the kitchen opens.

You quickly get up to help Melissa’s mother with the groceries she’s carrying in. She gives you a smile you know Melissa inherited when she thanks you for helping. A small, light, slap to the back of red hair. “How come Y/N gets up to help me and youse don’t even move an inch.”

“Okay, Ma, we all know by now Y/N is your real favorite child.” Melissa answers.

“If her parents weren’t who they are, I’d have adopted her already, yes.” Melissa’s mom agrees without hesitation. “Are ya stayin’ for dinner, Y/N?”

“Thanks, Mrs. Schemmenti, but I promised my mom I’d be home tonight. Something about how I’ve practically moved in here and she never sees me.” You roll your eyes but smile. You know Melissa’s mom has had times where she’d say something similar about Melissa always being at your house.

You start packing your notebook and textbooks back into your backpack. “Are we still going to The Gallery this weekend?” You ask with a glance back to Melissa.

“Duh,” She answers without hesitation. “I’m not stayin’ home with Kristen Marie. Oh, Joey said he might come.” 

You roll your eyes. Both at Melissa’s ongoing annoyance with her sister and the mention of Joey. “Ugh, does he have to?” You ask.

Before you even finish asking, Melissa is giving you those puppy pleading eyes. She really likes Joey, for what reason you don’t know. You think he’s just like any of the other boys in your school and neighborhood. All of whom you really just tolerate. 

Still, in the middle of the school year last year she apparently noticed he was kind of cute and kind of funny. From then, Joey was slowly entering your friend group with her input. You’re just waiting at this point for him to actually ask Melissa out. You’ve seen him stare at her the same way you’ve seen Mel stare at him. You’ve entertained giving them a push once or twice just to get them moving but you figure it’s better to let them figure it out themselves.

“Please?” Melissa pleads. “I promise I won’t let him bring all of his friends, too. We’ll keep it small.”

“Fine.” You reluctantly agree as you tug your backpack over your shoulder. 

Melissa rises from her seat at the kitchen table and hugs you as she says thank you a few times. You guess if it makes your friend happy you’re okay with enduring Joey for a few hours.

“Want me to walk ya home?” She offers.

“Why, so you can put off your essay another five minutes?” You tease, kissing her cheek. “Nah, you know it ain’t far, I’ll be fine.”

“Call me tonight?”

“Duh.” You answer with a grin before you make your way out of the Schemmenti house.

You make good on your promise to call Melissa after dinner and a bit more studying that night, She acts like she didn’t know you made it down the block safely until you call. Like she does every time you leave somewhere without her. You assure her you’re as put together as you were when she last saw you. 

The two of you occupy the phone lines of your houses until your mother is insisting you have to hang up and get ready for bed. You’ve already convinced her to put it off until nearly an hour and a half later than usual. You see Melissa all the time, every day. Neither of you necessarily have anything new to say, but you remained on the line anyhow. You didn’t need anything new to want to talk to each other and would gladly do this same song and dance tomorrow. And you do.

That weekend, you join Melissa at The Gallery. Window shopping through Gimbel’s and the other department stores there. Halfway through the afternoon Joey does join the two of you. You slip into the role of third wheel with as much grace as you can. Melissa at least still includes you and doesn’t shut you out of conversation or pretend you aren’t there at all. Joey…well, you don’t really care that he pretends you aren’t there. You do the same thing to him all the time. Today included.

“How’s your essay?” You ask Melissa as you walk home with her Monday afternoon. You share a few classes with the redhead but the time to actually check in between those classes are rather short. Plus, she’d had lunch with Joey. She offered you to join but you had enough of the Melissa and Joey show that weekend so you opted to sit with your other friends instead.

“Oh…” Melissa shrugs, her eyes darting away from you. “It’s fine.”

“You haven’t worked on it at all, have you?” You ask with a squint at her.

“No, but it’s fine, I got it under control!”

“Mel, it’s due Friday!”

“I told ya I got this, Y/N”

You sigh, shaking your head as you follow Melissa into her house. You’re staying the night tonight, thankfully. So, you decide you’re going to get your friend as much through this damn essay as you can. Otherwise, you know Melissa will just keep avoiding it.

You don’t mention it in the hour before dinner that you’re both working through homework. After dinner, though, once you and Mel have migrated to her bedroom for the night, you begin your plan.

Melissa, to her credit, is really trying to start her essay. She has her book in her lap as she sits at the head of her bed. Her notebook is on the bedspread next to her and she’s absentmindedly biting the pencil in her hand. She’s squinting at the book. She hasn’t turned the page since you came up here. 

You shift away from your chair at the desk in her room, joining her on the bed. You can see she’s trying. Just as easily as you can see her frustration building. Without saying anything you tear a blank page from your notebook and slip it beneath her hands over the page she’s trying to read.

Melissa looks up at you, something close to a glare at you for your unwanted help. You don’t let it deter you. You gently lift the finger she’d been trying to follow the line she was reading with. The paper held just below the line to block the rest of the text. You don’t say anything. You return to your own project in your new space next to Melissa. After a long moment, she whispers a thank you to you as she turns the page.

You knew Mel had dyslexia. You were the first person she told when she found out. You had hugged her and reassured her it didn’t mean she was stupid like she kept saying once she found out. She didn’t speak about it often, and neither did you. It was something she preferred to pretend didn’t exist most of the time. Still, you try to make things easier for her when you can. Even when she’s obnoxiously stubborn about it.

It’s a few hours later that the comfortable silence you’ve been sharing is broken. Your project is nearly done, and you know Melissa has gotten through quite a bit of the reading she needed to do.

“Okay.” Melissa says, the frustration she’s feeling practically leaking into her voice as she tosses the book away from her. She lifts her notebook, shaking it. “How the hell am I supposed to even understand what the requirements are when it’s so many different things? The page count, and the words, and then you have to make sure it’s structured right. It’s too much shit, Y/N!”

You wince when you hear a distant shout from Melissa’s mother about her language from somewhere else in the house. The detriment of your Italian friend’s passion. Sometimes she doesn’t realize her volume.

“Sorry, Ma!” Melissa yells back half-heartedly before she turns back to you, deflating once more.

“How about this…” You say, carefully fixing the book she’s thrown before the pages get stuck bent. You re-situate her notebook to her lap, gesturing for her to be ready to write. “Let’s start with the introduction, right? So, what is it you’re writing about?”

You press your index finger to Melissa’s lips when she goes to tell you. “Nuh uh, write it.” You say, your hand moving to point at her notebook. “Even if it’s just a sentence or two, write it down and we can come back.”

Melissa looks at you, ensuring you’re looking back before she rolls her eyes. Only once she’s shown you her exasperation with you does she look away from you to write.

“Okay, great.” You say when she looks back up at you. “So, then, let’s write…” You pause to consider how long her essay needs to be. “Three different important points from the book.” You watch as Mel’s pencil scribbles against the notebook. You’ve always been jealous of her handwriting. It’s easy for her to write nicely despite how she sometimes struggles to write. Her handwriting always looked nicer than yours. You guess it’s because she’s always moving her pencil so carefully and meticulously. 

“Now what?”

You blink as Melissa prompts you, realizing she’d written a few ideas down and was now looking at you for what to do next. “Now, what’s the most important takeaway from the book?”

After she writes a sentence for your prompt, Melissa looks up at you. “I dunno how but you made it way less overwhelming.” She grumbles. 

You smile despite her trying to sound upset. “You know I’m always happy to help.” You lightly bump your shoulder to hers. “And it’s okay to need help, y’know. It doesn’t make you any less capable, Mel.”

“I’d be a hell of a lot less capable without you, Y/N.”

“Nah, just getting in your own way more.” You tease her, turning back to your own assignment to finish it now that Melissa seems to have a better idea of how to approach her essay.

You finish your assignment after a few more minutes. You put your things for school away in your backpack, ignoring Melissa saying you don’t have to put things away immediately all the time. You’re the more neat of the two of you and you’re not about to leave things scattered around her room. You might consider the Schemmenti house your second home but you wouldn’t do that. Especially not to Mel’s space.

You check if Mel wants you to help any further. She waves you away but this time you can tell she’s in a working groove and not just being stubborn. You disappear to steal her bathroom for a shower and to get ready for bed. By the time you get back to Melissa’s room she’s just finishing writing.

“Will you look it over for me while I shower?” She requests as she hands you her notebook. You smile at how shy she sounds about it. You know she doesn’t like anyone reading anything she’s written. She’s always self conscious of it but you’re glad she trusts you at least in instances like this.

By the time Melissa returns, you’ve gone over her essay twice. “This is great, Mel!” You say as soon as she walks in. “There’s only a few little spellings I found proof reading but you did great. I think you could ace the midterm with this.”

“Yeah?” She asks, smiling with a brief duck of her head. “Well, you got my ass in gear. I owe you.”

You wait a half second for a yell about language from somewhere but it’s quiet. You’d guess Melissa’s parents are asleep by now. You doubt Kristen Marie is but you haven’t seen much of Mel’s sister today, anyway. 

“You don’t owe me. It’s what I’m here for.” You retort with a shake of your head, setting Melissa’s notebook to the top of her desk.

Once you’ve set it down, Melissa is lightly pulling your arm to get you both back to her bed. Though she’s tugging her covers back and over the both of you now. “I’m glad it’s good enough ‘cause I’m sick of staring at it.”

You laugh. “At least you don’t have to worry about it the rest of the week now.”

Melissa nods, curling up at your side. You’ve shared beds too many times to count in your years growing up together. You don’t even second guess or hesitate before your arms are wrapping around the redhead as her head lands on your shoulder. “Thanks, Y/N. For bein’ there for me.”

“Even when you’re a stubborn asshole.” You add teasingly.

Half heartedly, Melissa shoves at you but she’s also still cuddling into you so she doesn’t really try to get you away. “Even when I’m a stubborn asshole.” She agrees quietly after a beat.

[tickettride]

Five minutes || J.D.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔

pairing is johnny davis x f!reader

in which watching Brando on screen turns you on, and Johnny is there to help with a quickie on the couch. only for five minutes, though.

word count: 2,3k

warnings: 18+ (mdni), just smut for the sake of it, Johnny is a divorced man

In the quiet evening, with the light cascading across your living room, you had found a spot in the warm orange hue to curl up on the couch. Marlon Brando graced your TV, moving smoothly as though trying to impress you through the screen. Biting on the side of your thumb, you felt yourself smiling at the famous lines you’d learned by heart a couple of years before. All your friends were mad about him, and you weren’t indifferent either. There was something about his stance and the way he moved those lips. 

“What’s funny?”

Looking up from the screen, you met Johnny’s eyes, standing by the door. He was wearing the leather jacket he only wore when it got colder, a tiny scar adorning his nose. 

“Nothin’,” you replied, repressing a grin with a quiet cough. 

With heavy footsteps, Johnny came to look at the reason you were feeling so giddy. On the screen, the other man was now holding his sweetheart in his arms, a chaste kiss pressed on her coloured lips. 

“Looks like I’ve got a reason to be jealous,” Johnny commented, watching your flushed cheeks and dilated pupils. 

God, he looked just the same. Just bigger, and even hotter. There was something so commanding about him that made you want to melt into a puddle every time he looked at you. You wondered how you hadn’t fallen into his bed the minute you had seen him. 

Desire pooled between your legs as his dry and knowing smile dimpled his cheeks.

“Not one reason,” you said, finally noticing the tension in his shoulders. You knew him by heart. “Rough day?”

That’s all it took for him to start talking, stepping farther into the room. Johnny used to be rigid and emotionally detached–and you guessed it was all because of the messy divorce with his late wife. It had been nearly impossible to get him to talk about his feelings. He would just bottle it up until he would explode, and the outcome was never pretty. Johnny was a man more accustomed to threats than to promises. 

But now, with enough patience and promises of loving him unconditionally, the words came easier for him. You were undoubtedly the only person he trusted now.

“Shitty day."

The room fell into silence for two seconds as Johnny came to sit beside you. 

“Two other guys told me they’re leavin’ town. That’s four men in a week. And I’m not blamin’ our fucking system, ‘cause they don’t even follow the system to begin with. They all act like they can leave whenever they want. Like the club doesn’t even mean anythin’.”

“That sucks,” you said softly, giving him a fleeting half smile. “They apologized?”

Johnny shook his head, eyes on the TV. You stroked his shoulder gently, following his gaze when you guessed he wouldn’t talk about it anymore. You felt almost guilty for drooling over another man when yours was so tired of one of the things he loved most in his life. Brando was slipping on his leather jacket, which made you look away. Once again, you cleared your throat and tried to ignore the burning between your legs.

“I’m supposed to meet everyone tonight,” Johnny’s rubbed his lips, unaware of how handsome he looked. “Set new rules they’ll follow only the first week."

“You don’t want to.”

“Nah.”

You almost smiled. He almost had no secrets for you anymore. 

“So you’re stayin’ with me?” you asked in that hopeful voice, your skin heating at the mere thought of what he might do to you. 

Johnny looked back at you, eyeing your lips for a second before sighing. “Can’t. Need to talk to them ‘bout somethin’ else."

“But you don’t want to,” you repeated, and he skimmed you for a moment. “I know that look.”

Your pretty dress, the perfumed hair falling upon your shoulders. It was meant to lure him in, wasn’t it? 

“It’s not a question of want, is it?” Johnny pressed his hand to your breastbone, and you followed the force of his palm until your back met the couch. 

Yes, your brain thought, already picturing him inside you. Yes.

“It is, actually,” you licked your lips, his dominance pouring over you. “What do you want?”

Johnny stared at you for a while before chuckling at your response, straightening again. He didn’t think you were being serious. 

No!

At least his hand remained on your stomach as he looked down at you, doing a poor job at concealing his amused smile. So you grasped his hand in yours, squeezing lightly as you made it slide to your breasts. 

“What’s five minutes?” 

“They’re gonna wait for me,” Johnny shook his hand, though he looked really drawn to the way you made him fondle you. 

You shifted quickly to adjust a cushion behind your head, letting out a small comfortable sigh as you stared up at his darkening gaze. 

“Can you go down on me, at least?” you asked, expelling any lingering remorse or embarrassment. “I’ve waited all day long, and I don’t even know when you’ll be back.”

“All day long?”

“Yes, all day long,” you sighed, because how could he not see this was a serious matter? “Now if you want to head out, I won’t wait for you.”

Johnny lowered himself to hover above your frame, his hands on either side of you. With his lips only inches away from yours, he made your breath quicken until your heartbeat thrummed in your ears.

“That’s called blackmail,” he said deeply, kissing you on the cheek so sensually you almost made a sound. “I know what you’re tryin’ to do to me. Keepin’ me home so you can have me all to yourself.”

Your legs curved around his waist, drawing him in as much as you wanted to. Johnny just let you lead the way. 

His contradictions made him dizzy, torn by lust and reason. Just like you. 

“That’s called want,” you retorted, voice fading slightly. “I’m really in the mood.”

Johnny let out a deep breath, eyeing your perfect body, almost as though inspecting what he would do to it. It was fucking hot. 

“Please?” you dared to ask, spreading your legs a little. 

Johnny often made the wrong decisions, but never when it came to you. 

“Five minutes,” he conceded, his eyes so fixated on yours, he might as well have been fucking you with them.

“Okay,” you breathed out, internally screaming in victory. 

Honestly, you would have given anything to feel his tongue or cock. You had felt on edge since eight in the morning, and he had already left for work anyway. Nothing would satisfy you the way he touched you. At this rate, he completely owned your body and soul.

As if he might slip through your fingers at any moment, you tried to hold his gaze to make sure he wasn’t a dream.

Leaning down to kiss you, Johnny took advantage of your surprised gasp to slip his tongue into your mouth. The aggressive, forceful kiss contained all the aching need he’d pretended he didn’t want. That liar.

Then, his mouth trailed to the pit of your ear, which made you shiver. “Five minutes.”

You hummed back, saying the two words back with ease because you knew he wouldn’t be able to leave without fucking you first, no matter what happened. 

“Do you want me to keep my dress on?” you panted as he removed his leather jacket, throwing it on the floor. He looked so tall and imposing from there.

“Keep it on,” he sniffled hard to contain his own arousal as you bunched your dress messily to your hips, twisting until the warm air smoothed over the lace.

His mission was to please you, not waste time taking off your pretty clothes. With ease, Johnny quickly pulled your panties off your ankles, throwing them over his jacket as he watched you for a second. 

Your breath hitched as he knelt between your legs, seizing your hips that rocked upwards. 

“Take a breath,” he said, a hand sliding up your chest to knead the soft flesh of your covered breasts. 

You couldn’t deny yourself what your body craved any longer. Now, because of him, you were so pent up that the seconds felt agonizingly slow, and a single touch made you moan. It was entirely his fault. 

“I’m trying. If you don’t hurry up–”

Your fingers scraped through his soft hair as he dropped to his elbows, slid his shoulders under your knees and started kissing your hot flesh. Heavy kisses dotted your inner thighs before his mouth found your core, and you swore the sound of relief you made could have woken up the whole neighborhood.

The next wet stroke of his tongue was punctuated by a rougher suck. You forced yourself to slow your breathing and relax your body, but it felt impossible. Johnny’s hands gripped you so tightly that his knuckles disappeared into your flesh. Mine, it said. Mine.

“Good news,” you moaned when he swirled his tongue around your clit for a sudden change of pace, making you roll your eyes back. “I’m not gonna last five minutes. Not… gonna make it."

Groaning in approval and maybe with a bit of pride, Johnny buried his face deeper into you. The mere sight nearly made you come. You wouldn’t make it past the next ten seconds at this rate. 

“Which means,” you shut your eyes, a string of incoherent mumbles leaving your lips as you tried to get a hold of yourself and brace one hand on the top of the couch, “we can… we’ve got four minutes left.”

Johnny pulled back just as pressure was starting to build up, which truly made you want to kill him on the spot. Irritation heated your belly, but he didn’t seem to notice, nor care.

“You wanna finish like that?” he asked, inhaling a breath. 

“Oh my God, yes,” you bit out, pushing his head down again. “Go on.”

Spurred on by your impatience and your confidence–something that turned him on so much–Johnny smiled wider. Your thighs tightened around his jaw as he grazed his fingertips over your lips, accompanying his hungry tongue, before driving two thick fingers into you.

“Oh, fuck.”

“Yeah? Feels good?” Johnny’s voice was the last thing you heard before the pressure erupted, flooding through your core and making you pant even harder. This. This was what you’d been wanting all day—to share his air and to feel your legs shaking all because of his face and his needy noises. You had never been so needy before. Not that much.

“I love you,” you moaned with barely concealed desire, shivering as his lips briefly came back to yours. 

“Love ya too.”

“You’ll still love me in four minutes?” you asked against his lips, whining at the loss of warmth when he pulled down his pants, kicking them off clumsily. 

Johnny first responded with a roll of his hips, before aligning his hardened cock with your entrance and driving so hard forward your back arched from the couch. Your other words disappeared when he inhaled sharply through his teeth, keeping still for a moment to feel you clench around him. 

“Oh, yesyesyes.”

“I’ll love ya in four minutes and all the years after that,” he thrusted deep and hard, building you to another peak in record time. “Every time ya need it. I’ll come home ‘n fuck ya however ya want.”

Struggling to keep your eyes open, you focused on his mouth over yours instead. Johnny swallowed down every whimper like they were his last meal, desperate to give you what you wanted and more for the night to come, not an inch left untouched. 

“You’re so good,” your fingers curled on his shoulders as your eyes gradually lost focus, sending you to that point of no return. “Fuck. I needed you so bad.”

Johnny dropped his face into your neck and growled, reaching between your thighs to make you come faster. “I know, honey. I know.”

It was all too much. His smell, his closeness and the way he was so determined to give you a satisfying orgasm. The couch squeaked against the floorboard, but all you could hear was his voice praising you. 

“Come on," he purred. "Let’s have it before I leave, hmm?”

Writhing beneath him and not knowing if you were screaming his name or whispering, you finally reached that point and that flipped some primal switch inside of him. His hips moved in hard punches and his head tipped back in pleasure as he came inside you, groaning your name. 

None of you spoke for a while, minds still hazy from the sudden rush of adrenaline. You were definitely adding horny quickies to your mental list. And the way he looked down at you, his chest heaving with deep breaths. Five more minutes couldn’t be enough for all the things you’d do to him.

“Bad news, you’re late,” you teased, rubbing your eye tiredly. “They’re gonna wait for you.”

Johnny’s eyes studied you for a second, and he huffed a laugh that made you chuckle, your cheeks crimson.

“You’re killin’ me,” he muttered, stroking your thigh as affection flashed in his face. “Gonna drive me mad someday.”

“I know,” you agreed softly, stretching your arms in the air, which attracted his gaze down to your body again. “You’re leavin’ now?”

“You want me to?”

“No,” a small sigh involuntarily escaped your mouth. “But they need you, boss.”

You ran your thumb over his cheek, feeling the prickles of stubble beginning to form. 

“Call us if you need anythin’,” Johnny told you, his eyes too serious for the situation. “I mean it. You ask for me, and I’ll be home.”

With a nod, you tilted your head closer to his and smiled against his lips, pulling away when the kiss felt too intimate again. Time’s up, you had to remind yourself. 

“Okay,” you didn’t move as Johnny quickly slipped on his pants, casting you a glance as he walked out the door. "Be safe!"

[bullet-prooflove]

Stayin’ up late, playin’ our song

For a young John Dutton

Tagging: @kmc1989 @noxytopy @foxfables @solar-raccoon @toheavenwmydrms 

Companion piece to:

The One That Got Away - In light of Lee's recent wedding, John reflects on the one that got away.

After the kids are put to bed John pours himself a glass of whiskey. He puts Willy Nelson on the record player, unfastening the top two buttons of his shirt as he sits down in the leather Chesterfield in front of the fire. He closes his eyes as the music starts and the opening bars of If My World Didn’t Have You begin to play.

It takes him back to that night, the one of the barn dance when he held you in his arms, cradled you close and promised you that he’d never let you go. He’d made love to you for the first time that evening, in the summerhouse your daddy built for your mama when the two of them had first gotten hitched.

“I’m going to marry you Lou.” He’d whispered as he lay tangled up in you, his hands threading through your hair. “I’m going to spend the rest of my life, making you as happy as you make me.”

It’s a week later his father tells him he’s going to marry Evelyn Shaw. He tries to protest, to fight it but it all comes down to numbers. Evelyn comes with over 100,000 acres and a whole stable of championship horses and Yellowstone needs the cash injection.

He doesn’t even get to tell you himself because by morning the news has spread around town like a wildfire.

“I guess you were through with me after you got what you wanted.” You say as you brush down your horse with a ferocity that frightens him. “I should have known men like you don’t marry girls like me.”

“Lou, it’s not like that…”

But it is. That’s exactly what it’s like.

You don’t speak to him after that, he sees you around town but you won’t so much as look in his direction. You were the love of his life and now he’s absolutely nothing to you.

The day before he gets married you leave town, hit the rodeo circuit. He keeps track of your career from titbits of gossip he picks up in the local diner.

It’s when your father dies a few years later that you finally return to Bozeman. Your brothers, they’re rodeo kings through and through, they don’t understand the nuances of running a farm, not like you do.

It’s after the funeral that he finds you in the summerhouse, smoking a joint. The smoke plumes from between your lips as you look at him standing there in the doorway. You don’t say anything and neither does he, instead you raise to your feet, snub out the blunt and unzip your dress. It falls into a pool around your ankles and John, he’s just a man, one so fiercely in love with you it hurts.

He fucks you on the couch, the springs creaking as your nails rake down his back. There’s an exhilaration in the pain, a release that comes with it because he deserves this, the punishing pace you set, the bite marks you leave on his flesh. He wants to wear your hurt on his skin, to experience it with you.

When you come you take him with you, his release spilling deep as you wring every last ounce of ecstasy from his body. He’s still trying to catch his breath when you pull away, you slip back into that dress, guiding the straps up your arms before you step out of the door, closing it quietly behind you.

That had been five days ago and he can still feel the sting of your scratch marks everytime he climbs into the shower.

“I still love you.” He had whispered at the height of climax and you’d only fucked him harder.

The song ends and he opens his eyes to find his wife standing before him in nothing but a silk robe. The numbness starts to creep in, the same way it does when he’s with Everlyn and he takes a sip of whiskey before he shakes his head.

“Not tonight.” He tells her, thinking about the marks you’ve left upon his skin. “I can’t do this with you tonight.”

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[batchilla]

The most married divorced couple - Chapter 4 - Coffee and Custody

Years of well honed instincts through gruelling training had Jason as a perpetually light sleeper. A perpetually light sleeper who knew, even in his sleep, that he was being watched. 

He opens one eye, slowly sitting up as he takes in his surroundings - his wife’s… his ex wife's penthouse apartment. Well, that told him who was watching him at least. Sure enough, peering at him from behind the furthest arm of the couch he’d spent the night on is a tell-tale mess of curls so like his own - and Mary comes scrambling, not around the couch, but up to sit on the arm. “DAD!” 

Every time. Every time, that single word reminds him that there is in fact good in the world, and that his baby girl might just be the epitome of that. She all but tackles him into a cuddle. “You're here!”

He tries not to wince. He doesn’t ever want her to hug him less enthusiastically - but last night hadn’t gone well, and becoming climbing equipment for his daughter did not exactly help his recovery. 

Jason hugs her tight “Hi baby.” he says, his head resting on hers.

“Mm not a baby.” she grumbles “are you stayin’ for breakfast?”

“If mum says yes.” He says, part of him feeling dirty over the manipulative tactic - but the truth of the matter always was that Mary had a higher success rate in campaigning for him to stay then he did. Something about those adorable little eyes, he suspects. Mary hms, tucking her head against her shoulder. 

“M’ glad you came Dad. I don’t want Mr Brett to be my new dad.” Fucking what? Part of him wanted to resort to old methods on this ‘Mr Brett’ with extreme prejudice. For sniffing around his wife and daughter, and for trying to take what should have still been his. 

“What's that now baby?” he says, trying to keep the growing emotions that were making him feel like he was on fire. She didn’t need to know about any of that. 

“Mr Brett, he walks me to school sometimes cus I’m best friends with Jaxon and Riley and Kyle, and sometimes Mum walks me with them. They say its like a ‘carpool’ but cars don’t go to the pool, and the other day he and mummy went for a playdate while I was at grandpa Bruce’s and then Mum was asking how I felt about Mr Brett and I said he was so nice but that I don’t want a new dad and then she turned on baby shark and I got distracted.”  He takes a deep breath. He can’t get mad in front of Mary. Another deep breath. He realistically can’t get mad at all. He knows that. He had been divorced from his wife for four years. She was allowed to seek out … companionship. Had he? No. Did it feel akin to a betrayal? He knew it shouldn’t - but it did. She didn’t need to be lonely - and he didn’t want her to be. But he did hope that he’d somehow end up being the solution, not this fucking ‘Mr Brett’ asshole. Even then - companionship was one thing, but a relationship serious enough she’d mention it to Mary?

“Well, I’m sure he’s… nice, if your Mum likes him.”

“Mhm. Maybe you can say hi when he comes to get me for school.” “Speaking of school!” His wife's voice sounds from her doorway, loud enough to tell him she’d heard enough of that to panic slightly. “Mary, get dressed, you’ll be late.” 

Mary reluctantly separates from the hug, dragging her feet dramatically “Okay mum. Even though Dad’s here and he NEVER is, school happens every day and is super boring.”

“Nice try bubba.” she says, folding her arms and shaking her head. The second their child shuts the door - still loudly complaining about how unfair it all was, which in Jason’s opinion was psychological warfare, which his ex wife seemed somehow immune to, Jason turns to her. “We need to talk.”

She sighs “I guess we do. But not in front of Mary.” She runs a hand through her hair. “She’ll have eggs and toast soldiers - you want some?”

“Sure,” he says, trying to sound less bitter than he feels as he watches her head to the kitchen.

“So, Brett…” He says, following her to the kitchen and grabbing the bread and putting it in the toaster.

“Charles Brett.” you clarified.

Jason had to physically restrain himself from laughing. “Charles Brett? Those are both first names. You’ve replaced me with a man with a first name for a last name.”

“I haven’t REPLACED you, you LEFT!” She says, indignant furry in her eyes as she whips around to face him, stove at her back. Jason felt his blood boil. Yes, he’d left, but he hadn’t wanted to!

“And then you wouldn’t let me come BACK!” he counters, trying to keep his voice level, but not managing it. 

“BECAUSE YOU WERE RIGHT TO LEAVE!” She yells, tears in her eyes. 

“you fighting?” Mary asks, opening her bedroom door, tugging at the tie of her Gotham academy uniform as if it had personally offended her.

  “No sweetie.” they say in unison, as they shoot her reassuring smiles.

It doesn’t work.

She regards you both suspiciously, and takes her toast and eggs “please don’t fight. Dad’s never here and mum always cries when you leave so please don’t fight now.” “What?”

“Please don’t fight. Dad’s never here and mum always gets sad when you leave so please don’t fight now.”

“What?” Jason asks, glancing from Mary to you. You were proud that you’d raised an honest, headstrong young lady who had no hesitation speaking her mind. You did sometimes, such as right now, wish she did it a little less often around Jason. Jason who was now looking at you with a face you hated for how little you could read. He used to be an open book to her. Mary pulls herself onto the chair at the kitchen bench and dips her toast into her egg. “We got two names.” she points out to Jason. “Todd’s a boy's name.”

You sigh, and sip your coffee. She’d heard all of it. How lovely. 

Your baby girl looks at you, her hair in an attempt of a ponytail, her uniform slightly overlarge still, being early in the school year, both making her look so, so tiny. “What did dad mean? That you wouldn’t let him come back?”

You feel like you're falling. Luckily, there’s no amount of hurt, upset, or angry that Jason could be that would mean he wouldn’t come to your aid. “See cherub… Daddy didn’t mean that.” He says, grabbing her shoulder gently.

“I did… Well, I’m sure someone at school might’ve said, or the news… Marriage is supposed to be a promise to love each other forever … and I broke that promise.” Jason takes a deep breath.

 “What I did hurt your mum. She hasn’t forgiven me. Maybe she won’t ever. She doesn’t have to.” He shakes his head. “I said what I said because I was upset, but… It’s not her fault. It’s mine.”

You offer him an awkward, tight smile. “It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you baby girl. Just that … being married wasn’t the best option for us anymore.”

“...” Mary leans into her Dads side, her face solemn and thoughtful. You have to avert your gaze from the pair, lest you start crying - or worse - forgive him. 

“Do you still love mum?” she asks quietly, and Jason opens his mouth, hesitating for a second - which saves him from needing to answer the question. Only to make the situation a million times worse for you. Jason looks to the door. “Brett?” he asks, addressing you, but his gaze not leaving the door, with a look in his eyes that reminds you of darker days. “Brett.” You confirm, taking a deep breath as you move towards the door. “You packed M?”

“Yeah Mum,” she says, grabbing her backpack and shrugging it on, wrapping her arms around Jason’s waist in a goodbye hug. 

“See ya soon Dad?”

“...Yeah, baby. Really soon. Promise.” He says, ruffling her hair. 

You open the door, hoping to do this quickly, before things get even more uncomfortable. Charles Brett is a shorter man, with brown hair, brown eyes, forever slightly unkempt and a had perpetually tired look in his eyes from being a single father of three. But he has a kind smile, and you like him. He’s … a good man. He’s not Jason, but then again no one is. 

“Charles, Hi.” You say, leaning against the door to bar entrance. Normally you’d invite him in, have coffee or let the kids watch a episode of bluey while you chatted if the morning was running on schedule. 

He says your name, but catches your discomfort before he says anything more, and his gaze moves past you, looking for its source - and he finds it.

“Oh, Hello - Jason, yes? The ex husband?” He asks, pretending not to know who he was, as if he hadn’t seen the many magazines and heard the gossip surrounding his incredibly public, if staged, infidelity. As if Jason, in his need to convince Roman you meant nothing, hadn’t publicly called you a bitch. Jason doesn’t seem to remember that at this moment, and you watch as he puffs up his chest in rage. 

“Yeah. You have an issue with that?” he asks, moving to stand behind you.

“And if I do—-”

“Not. In. Front. Of. The. Kids.” You interject, before it can go too far. 

“Have a good day at school sweetie.” You say, kissing the crown of Mary’s head, giving Charles an apologetic smile, and all but slamming the door and turning to Jason. 

“He’s a good man.” You growl. Because he is. And because Mary needs a positive male influence, and Jason hasn’t been able to be that. And because you are a little worried that Jason is going to use his alter ego to run him off. 

“He’s sniffing around where he doesn’t belong.” Jason counters, stepping forward. You step back, and feel the door knob press against your spine. 

“He belongs here if I want him here.” You reply, refusing to be intimidated. “Yeah, well he doesn’t get to be my kids fucking dad! I’m her dad!” You cut your own angry response short “what? We’ve been on two dates. No one is becoming a dad to our daughter?!” “That’s not what she said” Jason says, folding his arms. “Mary got ‘married’ twice last week at recess and last I checked had two boyfriends and a girlfriend.” You roll your eyes. “She is not the leading expert in how adult relationships work.” Jason takes a deep breath. “So it’s not… serious?” You shrug. “It’s not … Look. We’re adults. We both have kids. We don’t have a lot of time for casual flings, and the kids get along so need to be protected. We are taking it seriously, but it’s early days.” He nods slightly, “I’m having bab’s look into him.” You close your eyes and exhale. “Jay…” “I won’t do anything unless I find something substantial.” he reluctantly promises. “But I don’t take chances when it comes to you.” You feel his presence loom closer despite your eyes being closed. You open them to see your ex husband’s hand lingering in the air a few centimetres from your shoulder, his eyes sad and longing as he stands before you. “Is he good to you?” He asks, the anger gone from his voice. “Can you… see a future with him?” “Why does it matter to you?” You ask. It’s mostly rhetorical. You know why, and really what you mean to ask without saying it in as many words… is if Jason feels he has any right to intervene if his search finds anything more serious than a questionable browser history.

“Why does it matter to you?” The words feel wrong against his very ears. His tenuous grasp on the cool facade he’d put up, which had almost begun to take a true effect, with those six words is utterly shattered. He feels his heart pounding, too fast, too hard, too angry. The pit changed him, in many ways. The anger had always been there. The pit had made it worse. He’d never once take it out on you. He’d sooner die. But it exists in him, clawing like a beast against the inside of his ribs. Why does it matter? Why does it FUCKING MATTER? It screams, it throws itself against his skin, it burns his eyes and boils in his blood. How can you not understand how deeply he loves you? How can you not understand that he’d destroy anything that wished you or Mary harm and delight in it? That if you hadn’t been in his life back then, he’d surely be on a very different path? How do you not understand? He turns away, tugging a hand through his hair, he cannot look at her in this moment, cannot meet those beautiful eyes, can’t bear to see the face he adores above all others contorted by anger. “It matters to me because I still fucking love you.” He says through gritted teeth, through the shame, the rage, and the hurt. “And because I know you know that,” He continues, stepping further back to pace the apartment - the home - that he had once shared with you. He hears her move across the hardwood towards him. Feels a hand on his arm. “Jason…” She says quietly, as if to soothe a wounded beast - and he wishes it didn’t work as well as it did. He wishes he didn’t feel like a frightened, pained, hissing beast. He pushes her away. Not aggressively - but a firm, nonverbal denial. “Roman fucked with our kid. I don’t regret what we did as a result. But love, he’s been in the ground for years. I know that it could happen again… But I don’t want to keep missing my kids' childhood because of that fear. If her safety costs us… then so be it. But I don’t accept that it will. I refuse. The only fucking reason I kept these-”

 He holds up the rings on the cord around his neck “Is to put yours back on your fucking finger one day.” He sits at the bench, his hands in his pockets so you can’t see his knuckles go white. So you can’t see his pain, or how bad what he is about to do scares him. “I don’t ever want to fight you. You know that, right?” He looks at you, and he hopes that whoever or whatever is out there he doesn’t sound as sad as he feels. He looks at her, his friend, his daughter's mother, his ex wife who he’d never truly seen as an ex anything, and he sees a woman who’s hurting as he is, but while he sees the solution to their pain as recovery of what was, she sees the solution as acceptance. She cannot help him. He cannot help her. But, together, perhaps, they can help their daughter. “I want you to know this isn’t just because of Brett. Though hearing Mary talk about a new dad did light a fire under my ass. I want custody. Shared, I mean.” He puts his head in his hands, elbows on the kitchen counter. “I’ll be asking for 50/50. Please.” He looks at her through his fingers. “We make a good team. Don’t make this be ugly.” She sighs, sad and tired and hurting. “I think we’re both a little too charged to talk about that right now. Can we have coffee in a few days?” He nods. “Yeah. Yeah that works for me. I uh… I’ll call Alfred to send a car round for me… and you can text me the details?”

A week later, you find yourself sitting in the back of a coffee shop, waiting for Jason to return with your drinks. You try not to dwell on the fact that despite not having asked, you knew he didn’t need to to know your order even after all this time.  You shuffle the papers of notes you’d had your lawyer look over. True, you trusted him. You thought he’d be a good father. You’d still stayed divorced for a reason. “I have concerns.” You say ternsly as he takes the seat across from you. He’s cleaned up. You can’t focus on that. You have a little girl who needs to come first right now - and you take a breath to remind yourself that she’s just as important to Jason. “Figures.” He says, but his tone is lighthearted. “Part of me just hates the idea of seeing her less.” You admit. He just nods, without judgement, without making the point that he knows what that’s like, simply letting you speak for the moment. “And it’s not because I like having her more than you, but because… I cried when she went on her first sleepover and she’s my baby.” You continue, picking at the napkin dispenser absentmindedly. “But beyond that there are logistical concerns as well. I know your … various residences…” safehouses. 

“Are safe. But moving as often as you do…” At least twice a week as a safety precaution.

“isn’t ideal for obvious reasons. Not to mention… She’s smart. She’s smart and she’s nosey.” Jason sips his coffee “her father’s daughter” “Nosey maybe. Smart? Debatable.” He chuckles and rolls his eyes. “I see your point though. We don’t want her to find out about the families… extracurricular activities.” You sip your drink. Sure enough, he’d remembered your order. Damn him and his perfect memory and his perfect face. “I’ve put some thought into it.” He reassures, and you nearly snort. Some thought? Knowing Jason, knowing his family? Several hours of thought had gone into any decision they deemed remotely important. You’d attended meetings, essentially war councils, while you were still married about the most minor aspects of their cover. “With my … schedule, 50/50 won’t be possible without her knowing everything, and she isn’t ready yet. But I want weekends, which I… we? Would spend at the manor. For stability.” “We?” you echo, raising an eyebrow. Jason gives you the same grin that had made you fall in love with him. Your stomach turns to a lepidopterarium. Damn him. “Well, last I checked Bruce said you were welcome at the manor whenever you wished… and if she was coming with you, it wouldn’t need to be a legal arrangement. Less of a paper trail is safer for Mary.” Jason says it matter of fact. Detached. Like he’s explaining a mission, not talking about his life, or his child’s. You know better than to fall for it. He runs a hand through his hair and winks at you. “Though if there needs to be a paper trail I’d prefer it be one leading to us again. I said some shit I shouldn’t have the other day. I apologise for that. You can keep seeing that Charles idiot - I was a prick about him, and his background check came back clean. But… I meant it. I fully intend to fight to get you back.” He stands to leave before you can process or argue. “So… See you Saturday morning?” he says not at all a genuine question, kissing your forehead and heading to the door, much like he might disappear after a one liner as Red Hood. You suspect it’s a strategy that works on cops or criminals - but is less impressive to his ex wife. All you can think to call after him is “SAYING THAT AND WALKING OFF ISN’T AS SLICK AS YOU THINK”

taglist @jasontoddproblems

@fic-over-cannon

@stormz369

[trenchcoat-turtle]

Summary: All of his brothers have found their person. Meanwhile he’s stuck pining for Leo’s girlfriend’s roommate. Why does the girl of his dreams have to be taken?

“Hey Raph!” I called as I walked into the lair.

“Hey, y/n. If you’re looking for Whitney, she and Leo are already in his room.” He snickered.

“Oh, yeah I was looking for her, but I definitely don’t want to accidentally interrupt anything.”

“With how long it’s been since they last saw each other, I wouldn’t recommend it.�� He chuckled again.

“You guys have been really busy lately, huh?” I asked him.

“It’s been a tough couple a weeks.” He shook his head. “Foot activity just keeps growing. It feels like an impossible task to protect the city from them sometimes.” Raphael responded.

“I can’t imagine. You carry so much weight on your shoulders.” I replied as I placed a comforting hand on his arm.

His eyes lingered on mine before he seemed to shake himself from his thoughts.

“Anyway, enough about that depressing shit, how have ya been?” He asked.

“Well, I’m single.” I laughed. “Finally got the courage to break it off with him.”

A bright smile graced his green face.

“I didn’t realize you two were having problems.”

“Yeah we have been for a while. I found out that he wasn’t cheating on me like it thought. No, the reason why he is gone all hours of the night is because he joined the foot! I was so disgusted, I would have rather he had been cheating!” I ranted as I pulled a bottle of wine out of the overnight bag I brought with me.

“He what? He is a member of the foot now? Oh shit, just wait till I get my hands on him.” Raph spoke as he cracked his knuckles.

Then almost distractedly he asked, “You spendin the night?” He motioned towards my overnight bag.

“Uh, yeah if that’s okay with you. I don’t want to stay at the apartment alone tonight.” I shrugged.

“Well since you’re stayin, you wanna watch a movie or somethin?” He asked as he nervously rubbed the back of his neck.

“Horror?” I asked hopefully as I filled two cups with red wine.

“Do we ever watch anything else?” He laughed as he took the wine from my hand. He took a swig of the rich red liquid and made a face.

“What? You don’t like red?”

“Nah? What happened to the sweet white kind you always bring?”

“I thought we should be more adventurous.” I waggled my eyes as I spoke.

His mouth dropped open a little before he quickly gained his composure. He gulped down the rest of the wine in his glass.

“Let’s go pick a flick.” I stated and he followed me out of the kitchen.

After a short deliberation we decided on Evil Dead 2. We both got comfortable on the tattered couch. Him on one end and myself on the other. After the first death in the movie, I found myself inching closer and closer to him.

“I need to stretch my legs, do you mind if I lean against you and stretch out?” I finally asked him.

“Y-yeah of course.” He replied with a bit of a stutter before motioning me over.

I snuggled up next to his side and stretched my legs across the length of the couch. His arm came to rest around me as he pulled me close.

Halfway through the movie I had completely stopped paying attention. The only thing I could think about was how good it felt to be in his arms. I was relishing in it.

Was relishing in it, until Mikey came into the room.

“What is goin on with you guys?” He asked suggestively.

“Watchin a movie. What’s it look like numb nuts?” Raphael grumbled as he held me to his side to keep me from putting distance between us. He also sent a death stare at Mikey that made him get the hint. I’ve never seen him give up on teasing so quickly.

“Oh, right. Well, good night y/n.” Mikey replied before turning around and all but running from the room.

“What was that all about?” I asked with a laugh.

“You know how Mike is. Always tryin to play match maker.” He shrugged.

“And what if he was trying to play match maker with us?” I asked him as I looked up at his green eyes. I twirled the end of his mask in my fingers.

He gulped. “I won’t let him drive you crazy like that, don’t worry.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I think he’d be pretty successful. On my end anyway.”

“You’re serious? A girl like you with a guy like me?” He scoffed.

I sat up and faced him. The movie all but forgotten in the background.

“Yeah, Raph. What is that even supposed to mean? You’re hot, strong, sweet, and funny. Why wouldn’t I be interested in you?”

He was speechless for a moment before finally saying, “You have no idea how long I have wanted you.”

“If it’s half as long as I have wanted you, I do think I have some idea.” I cupped his cheek with my hand. “I had been planning to break up with what’s his face for a long time because you are who I truly want. I was just afraid of what he might have done to me if I had.”

“You know I will always protect you. You ain’t gotta worry about him.”

I leaned in and kissed him. He responded back immediately. The kiss was needy and before I knew what was happening he was pulling me onto his lap.

He deepened the kiss and I felt a bulge through his pants. The skirt I had worn was pushed up around my thighs and I rubbed against his erection. He moaned against my lips further spurring my hips into motion.

Breathlessly I asked, “Bedroom?”

His response was to pick me up from the couch and carry me to his bed.

—

AN: sorry for any mistakes! I wrote this on my phone since my laptop is being buggy.

[joelslastofus]

[SUMMARY: Joel is protective of his alcoholic neighbors daughter.]

PART 3

Mention of Violence and blood. angst

“I see you with a mark again, I ain’t stayin’ back.” He warned you as you quietly walked inside and closed the door.

The next day you woke up realizing a slight bruise forming on your cheek from where your father had smacked you. You sighed wondering how the hell you were supposed to hide that from Joel when you suddenly heard glass break. Closing your eyes as you took a deep breath you heard the sound of more glass breaking. Your father was on a drinking binge like never before, you had no idea what to do.

Knowing Joel was at work you knew you wouldn’t be seen, you did your best sneaking out the front door. A walk into town would’ve done you some good, anything that meant you weren’t near your father.

After roaming around for most of the day and window shopping you got yourself something to eat. Sitting by a window by yourself you thought about how bad things had been lately with your father. This was just suppose to be a nice summer visit, part of you couldn’t wait to go back to your campus yet you knew you couldn’t leave without knowing he was in rehab and so you decided to wait the following semester to go back. Convincing a stubborn man anything was wrong with him wasn’t going to be an easy battle.

Walking towards your house you cursed at yourself when you noticed Joel’s truck pulling in his driveway. He should’ve already been home by now but of course with your luck he wasn’t already inside. He instantly looked up to see if the light in your room was on, he wondered if you were home. He hadn’t spoken to you since he called you the day before after Tommy told him what happened with your father.

Coming out of his truck he noticed you walking down the block with your head down. You knew he would stop you, you hoped that somehow the sun setting would make it harder for him to see the bruise forming.

“Hey, I called you earlier” you looked up hesitantly relieved to see he was still far enough to not notice.

“Yeah, uh sorry. I had a busy day” you smiled quickly just as you turned to your porch.

“Hang on a second” he some how caught up fast enough to take hold of your arm. You stood still before giving in and looking up at him.

His face changed instantly.

Although you didn’t know, of course he knew the truth of what happened to you yet he still didn’t expect to see evidence of what your father had done. He hadn’t spoken to Tommy after he got off the phone with you the night before but he more than ever he wanted to knock some sense into his brother. How could he have seen you in trouble and not done a thing?

“Look he’s never done this before” your quick attempt to defend your father’s actions only pissed him off.

“Where is he?” He asked as he turned your face slightly to the side to get a better look at the bruise.

“I-I don’t know, Joel. Look I’m fine ok-“

“Like hell you are” he snapped, anger fuming through him. He controlled himself when he noticed your reaction to his tone.

“Why didn’t cha call me?”

“For what? To hear you like this. We had a disagreement and-“

“A disagreement? Ya gotta be kidding me” he whispered looking behind him to make sure Sarah hadn’t come out.

“I’m gonna have him go to rehab, Joel. Just let me talk to him-“

“No. Not alone-“

“Joel” you whispered.

“Hey dad, everything ok?” Sarah’s voice startled the both of you making him turn back.

“Yeah, honey. I’ll be inside in a minute” he assured her.

“I’ll be fine, Joel. I’ll wait until he’s sober to talk. We should just…keep our distance for a bit. Go inside” you proceeded to walk up your front lawn as he took a step back with his hands on his hips.

“I see you with a mark again, I ain’t stayin’ back.” He warned you as you quietly walked inside and closed the door.

“You ok, dad?” Sarah asked as she walked in the house in front of Joel. She looked back noticing how he stayed looking out the window as he walked to the kitchen.

“Yeah, honey. Everything’s fine,” he responded without looking at her.

“Dad” her tone making him look down at her.

“Everything’s fine” he assured her before pulling her in and kissing her forehead just as Tommy walked in.

“Uh, sweetheart, why don’t cha finish up your homework while I have a word with uncle Tommy” Sarah nodded as she smiled to her uncle and walked into her room closing the door.

“What I do now big brother, leave a box of pizza on the counter?” The playful tone in Tommy’s voice only making Joel lose his patience. Without thinking he walked around the table and grabbed his brother by his collar and slammed him into the wall.

“Hey! Easy man!”

“How the hell could you not help her?!”

“What?!” Tommy asked confused.

“Y/n, her father hit her and you just turned away” he slammed him against the wall once again making Tommy wince. Sarah could hear her father upset but she knew better than to leave the room.

“I don’t know her like that, Joel! I don’t know what that man is on!”

“Ya ain’t gotta know a woman to help her dammit, she needed your help!”

“Why the hell do you ever care so much?!” Tommy yelled back. Joel stood silent, his lip quivering as he looked at his brother in disgust.

“We were raised better than that, you know better than that” Joel whispered.

“You ever see her in trouble again you stop what you’re doin’ and ya help her. Got it” he clenched his teeth together as Tommy quickly nodded. Joel released his brother roughly and walked into the room.

Weeks went by as Joel cautiously watched for any sign of any kind of disturbance. Some days your father was sober but most of the time he was drunk. A part time summer job kept you distracted for the time being. Talking to him about rehab seemed harder than you expected and so you delayed your approach.

One Saturday morning you woke up to music blaring loudly throughout the house. Your head throbbing you turned around and sighed just as a wave of nausea hit you like you had never felt before.

“What the hell” you whispered as you slowly got on your feet.

“Jesus Christ dad,” Rubbing your eyes you walked out into the living room to find no one was there.

“He would do this” you whispered to yourself as you turned to shut off the music. Just as you did your father’s voice made you jump.

“Hey, I was listening to that” he walked in with a beer in hand.

“Dad it’s my day off, I’m trying to sleep” you sighed walking into the kitchen.

“It’s the 15th already aren’t you suppose to be back at your campus?” He asked with irritation, clearly he wanted you gone.

“Dad I’m-“ you suddenly froze realizing he said it was the 15th.

“What day is it?” You asked running to your planner that sat at on the counter.

“The 15th, your classes are probably already started” he continued to talk as you opened your book and realized you were four days past your period being due. Your father continued to talk but somehow you zoned him out, you felt sick to your stomach.

This couldn’t be right.

Getting dressed and making your way to the door you ignored your father mumbling things you could barely understand. Your head not in the right place as you quickly made your way to your father’s car. The thought of being pregnant made you begin to hyperventilate as you slammed the car door. You had been taking your birth control strictly every day you couldn’t understand why this happened.

And if you were, this meant you had to tell Joel, the thought of what his reaction might be only making you panic more.

Grabbing what you needed from the pharmacy and getting back into the car you sped back home eager to take the test. So eager to run in and take the test, you never noticed Joel sitting on his porch as you pulled up. Joel had respected your request and kept his distance but he never stopped thinking of you or watching to make sure you were ok. Thankfully he never saw much of your father, Joel seeing him wouldn’t have done him any good. Just as you came out of the car Joel stood up and made his way towards you.

“Hey” Joel’s voice made your heart skip a beat. You looked up to see him walking in your direction before he stopped right before you.

“I know ya told me to give you space but I just…I wanna make sure you’re alright” he whispered as you stood still holding the plastic bag that held your box of pregnancy tests.

“I know, Joel. I-“ just as you began to speak you both turned to the sound of your front door opening and your drunk father stepping out.

“Where’s my beers?” He asked in snotty tone as you looked at him confused. Joel flared his nostrils at the sight of your father for the first time since he learned that he put his hands on you.

“Dad, I didn’t get any. Please get inside” you spoke softly hoping he would listen.

“Come on, wheres my fucking beers…” he slurred as he came towards you. Joel instantly stepping before you as you tried to pull him back by his arm.

“It’s fine, Joel-“ your father suddenly yanked the bag you held.

“Give me my drinks-“

“Stop it!” You pulled back when the bag broke and out fell the very thing you didn’t want him to see.

“You’re good for nothing!” Your father waved his hand at you, too drunk to notice a thing and walked back inside. Joel stood still looking at the box on the ground as you stood silently. He didn’t say a word as he picked up the box before looking directly into your eyes.

“I’m not sure-“

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He whispered coldly.

“Because I’m not sure, Joel” you lied. Deep down you knew it, you knew you were pregnant. Never had you been late before.

“I would’ve had you out of there a long time ago-“

“Look, Joel I…I don’t know anything yet and-“

“But cha think you are don’t ya” his response leaving you speechless. Looking down at your fingers you felt a knot in your throat as you held back tears.

“Well ya ain’t goin’ back in there with him that’s for sure”

“What?” You looked up at him confused.

“Joel, I can’t just leave. Look I was going to talk to him tomorrow about rehab it’s been hard to bring it up.”

“Let me talk to him” he insisted.

“No!” You grabbed the box out of his hands.

“This is my problem-“

“Not if you’re carrying my kid” he whispered low close to your face. Swallowing nervously you took a step back and turned to your house. Joel quietly watched feeling helpless, his breathing was heavy watching you close the door behind you. The anxiety he felt was an anxiety he wasn’t familiar with. Turning back to his house he slammed the door shut to find Tommy on the couch.

“You alright?”

“Mhm” he walked straight to his room slamming the door shut once again not wanting to speak. Talking wasn’t his thing when he was pissed like this and Tommy knew it.

Feeling so many mixed emotions you went up to your room and took one test out of the box. Your father was distracted screaming at the tv during a game and so you took advantage and went to the bathroom.

Minutes never felt so long like they did in this moment. Holding your breath you paced back and fourth until finally time was up. Taking slow steps towards the test that sat on the counter you hesitantly leaned forward to see two bright pink lines.

“Oh fuck!” You turned around quickly holding in your tears just as your father began to bang on the door.

“Hurry up, I gotta take a piss!” He yelled. Quickly you took hold of the test making sure there was no evidence of anything else and opened the door. Walking past him as fast as you could you made your way to your room and locked the door shut.

Joel sat on his bed looking down at the floor as he thought over the possibility of you being pregnant. None of this was suppose to happen, he never meant for things to quickly escalate the way they did but the feelings Joel knew he had for you, wasn’t a lie.

The next day Joel tried calling you but you ignored his call while you were at work. You knew you had to tell him, your conscience couldn’t let you lie to him.

Joel rushed home from work hoping to catch you out front but you had already been inside. Calling your phone repeatedly you muted it and threw it under your pillow.

“God dammit!” Joel hissed and walked inside. The unknown was driving him insane yet you felt you couldn’t face him just yet. Telling him you were pregnant would only make everything more real and you didn’t know how much of it you could handle.

That night you could barely got any sleep and in the morning you felt sick. Your father once again leaving a mess for you to pick up, you sighed as you found him passed out on the couch.

“Today we’ll have the talk, today it is” you whispered to yourself, you waited long enough to tell your dad about rehab. Picking up garbage from the floor made you sick to your stomach, quickly you turned and threw up in the garbage bag behind you.

With little to no energy in you, you picked up the garbage bags and dragged it outside. Joel noticed you just as he got out of his truck and paced quickly towards you.

“Gonna keep ignorin’ me” he called out as he walked towards you, the second you looked up he noticed how pail you were. His look of frustration quickly changed to concern.

“You alright, what’s the matter” he closed the distance between you two lifting your chin up with his index finger.

“I’m fine…it’s just…-“

“Just what?” He asked eagerly.

“It’s morning sickness, Joel.”

Although a part of him felt you were pregnant, it was still different to hear you confirm it.

“Well then you should be in bed dammit, not pickin’ up your father’s trash” he took the bags out of your hands and threw them into the bin.

“Well, I can’t leave the house dirty” you explained with a sigh.

“Where is he?” He looked towards your door hoping he wasn’t home.

“He asleep, on the couch. He’s out cold”

“You should be in bed”

“I have work”

“Quit, stay in bed. I don’t want cha like this out and about-“ you began to laugh with your hand on your chest.

“The hell is so funny?” He asked stepping forward.

“You, you expect me to just quit my job?”

“I’ll take care of ya” he insisted, you turned serious realizing he was serious.

“Joel, I’m not doing that. I need to work and help my father” you explained.

“I don’t want cha doin’ all this while you’re pregnant”

“I never said I was staying pregnant” you blurt out catching him off guard. He stood silent for a moment unsure with how to respond.

“What happened with us wasn’t suppose to happen, we should’ve never slept with each other. I appreciate the help you’ve given me while dealing with my father but that’s all it was suppose to be-you helping out a neighbor. Not me getting pregnant”

“I ain’t plan it to be this way if that’s what cha think, I was really just trynna make sure you were alright” he explained.

“Joel, I have to get back to my campus soon…I can’t…I can’t do this”

“I can help you” Tommy walked out the front door making Joel look behind him.

“We’ll talk later” you sighed as you walked off. He didn’t say a word and simply turned to Tommy who raised a brow wondering what was going on.

Just before you left to work your father woke up and he was sober. You knew this was it, it was now or never to speak to him about rehab.

He stood in the kitchen taking Tylenol as you placed your purse over your shoulder and hesitantly got his attention.

“Dad” he winced from the pain of his headache.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you, um…about all of this…” your words catching his attention.

“Look I know I’ve been drinking a lot lately but I’m slowing down-“

“No you’re not.” You quickly disagreed.

“Dad you need to go to rehab” you blurt out as you squeezed your eyes shut worried about his reaction.

“Rehab?”

“Yes, there’s a program for three months I already looked into-“

“You signed me up?”

“Not yet” you whispered. You could see the hesitance in his eyes.

“You’re not yourself when you’re drunk, dad you hit me the other day and you’ve never done that before” he looked at you shocked. He had no idea how bad things had actually turned.

“If it makes you happy I’ll do it.” He finally agreed making you let out a breath of relief.

For the first time in a while you felt a huge weight off your shoulders.

At work your mind still wandered off thinking about Joel, thinking about your pregnancy and what was the right thing to do. With nausea and migraines through out the day, you couldn’t wait to get home and sleep.

On your way home Joel called you just as you reached your front lawn. Him asking if he could see you was something you weren’t sure was a good idea in this moment but you gave in.

“How ya feelin’?” He walked towards you with a look of concern.

“Just tired” you responded softly. You could tell he had a lot to say but didn’t know how to start.

“Listen, whatever you do…I’m here alright. I wanna be there for you”

“Oh, Joel” you smiled in relief.

“Thank you” support was all you truly wanted.

“My father is going to rehab, I spoke to him this morning” you looked towards your front door.

“Oh yeah?” Joel pressed his lips together, he didn’t trust it. His expression changed once you looked back up at him.

“Thank you for being there for me, Joel. I promise we will talk more about this.” you unexpectedly reached towards him and hugged him. Joel froze for a moment before wrapping his arms around you.

“I just want cha safe” he whispered.

“I am” you assured him before taking a step back not knowing that your father was at the window, watching the both of you behind the blinds.

“I’ll text you later” you spoke softly and left to your house.

Joel couldn’t take his eyes off you as you walked inside. Something left him unsettled, he didn’t trust a man who could put his hands on a woman, drunk or not. He walked backwards back to his driveway and began cleaning out his truck.

“Dad, I’m home” you called out as you walked to the kitchen to be caught off guard by a half empty bottle of whiskey. You sighed with disappointment as your father walked into the kitchen.

“Dad-“

“So this is what you do after I pay all that money for your tuition” his words confusing you.

“What?”

“Don’t play stupid with me, you and this guy-“

“What guy?!”

“Miller” Joel’s name made your heart stop.

“Dad, it’s not-“

“You sure?” He threw your left over box of pregnancy tests across the counter at you. You gasped, standing speechless as he made his way around the counter and cornered you against the wall.

“You pregnant, little girl?”

“I am not a little girl” you whispered.

“Are you pregnant?!” He slammed his hand on the counter beside you making you jump. Your silence was enough to give him an answer, he turned away throwing a large glass vase by the window. The sound of the glass shattering making Joel look up. Joel immediately walked towards your house trying to look through the windows but couldn’t see a thing. He began to call your name making your father’s eyes widen.

“Joel, I’m fine!” You yelled out but he could hear the fear in your voice.

“Open the door!” He wiggled the door knob to no avail. Your father angrily grabbed your face with his hand making you scream as Joel began running his shoulder into the door.

“You think you’re gonna act like a whore while I’m paying for your college and just throw it all away!” He yelled angrily.

“Dad! I’m not throwing it away!” You screamed in defense when the front door broke open. In ran Joel to see your father’s hand on you as you stood still.

“Let her go” he spoke with a threatening tone. Your father turned to him as he stumbled before reaching for his bottle of whiskey and taking another sip.

“You think I’m gonna let her keep that thing”

“Dad-“

“Shut up!” He roughly pulled you by your hair in front of him making Joel step forward. You screamed as he yanked your head back.

“You know what? You want her, you could have her” he threw you across the floor towards Joel. Joel quickly crouched down to you helping you up without taking his eyes off your father.

“You alright? You ok?” He asked just as Tommy walked in shocked to see his brother in the middle of everything.

“Joel, what’s goin’ on?”

“Take her inside” Joel instructed as he walked towards your father.

“Joel- no-“

“Make sure she’s ok, keep her inside and call a damn ambulance” Tommy did just as he was told and pulled you out of the house while you cried.

“What’s he gonna do?” You asked looking back. Tommy knew the damage his brother could do but didn’t say a word.

Your father laughed as he finished up his bottle of liquor.

“What are you gonna do asshole?” Joel waited for you to walk into his home before grabbing your father and head butting him hard. Blood instantly gushed from your father’s nose as he went down to the ground. Grabbing your father by his collar with his fist in the air, Joel wanted to do more but the man could barely defend himself at this point and he knew how much it would hurt you. Leaving him unconscious he took a step back with a deep breath. Hearing the ambulance close by he left the door open and walked out back to his house. Joel knew you would all be questioned once they arrived but he didn’t care.

“Is he ok? What happened?” You ran up to Joel desperately.

“You alright? You feel alright? I want em to check you before they leave.” He ignored your questions and unexpectedly placed his hand on your stomach making Tommy realize just what was going on. Sarah came out of the room confused when multiple ambulances came crashing into the street. Police cars pulled up as you looked out the window confused when a man beside your house walked out into the street. Cops instantly came out there cars and hid behind their doors aiming their guns.

“The hell is going on?” Tommy whispered when the man suddenly ran towards the cops. Gunshots went off making you jump as Joel quickly locked the door shut as you all watched in shock with what was happening.

“Oh my God!” You gasped, the man was shot at multiple times yet kept running. The rest of your neighbors peaking out their windows when finally the man was shot dead.

“Ladies and gentleman please stay inside, lock your doors. Do not come out until you’re told” an officer announced through a microphone.

“What’s happening, dad?” Sarah asked with wide worried eyes.

“I don’t know, baby.” Joel proceeded to close the windows not wanting his daughter to see anything else.

“What about my dad” you whispered but before he could respond more gunshots went off making you and Sarah jump and the lights went out…

Just like that it was the beginning of a massive disruption that would turn everyone’s world as they knew it upside down more than you already felt it was….

*tagging for some reason isn’t working for me but I’ll figure it out soon. No one’s name is coming up.*

[siampie]

Finding You||Chapter 3

Pairing: Michael Kinsella x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings/tags: pinning, childhood trauma, eldest daughter syndrome, mention of emotional abuse, mentions of SA

A/N: Enjoy this chapter, you guys. Comments and reblogs are always welcomed, greatly advised and strongly appreciate.

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Tag list: @marytheweefrenchie, @sunflowersandsapphires, @schneeflocky, @danzer8705, @ebathory997

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Dividers by @cafekitsune

Yawning widely, you stumbled into your kitchen. You had stayed over at Michael’s, well into the night. You spoke of many things and of nothing. You caught yourself too late when you had mentioned your father. Michael had returned the courtesy, briefly mentioning his daughter Anna. But the conservations brought you back to Jamie. Which never failed to bring tears to Michael’s eyes. He tried several times to conceal them, to not let you see. In spite of your telling him that he didn’t need to. Not in front of you.

Standing in your kitchen, you waited for your coffee to brew as you texted your coworker; Bessie; to let her know that you would not come into work today. Thankfully, your company was quite lenient on sick days and did not require a sick note for one to two days of sick leave. Then, you sent a quick email to your manager to let him know, you won’t be in at least for one day.

The shrill sound of your phone ringing snapped you out of your thoughts. You jumped onto the counter and answered the phone. “Hello?” No answer. “Hello?” You said again. Still no answer. You could hear someone breathing on the other end, before the call disconnected. Pulling the phone away from your ear, you felt this knot in your stomach. Checking the number, you noted that it was an international call but not a number you recognized. Judging by the area code, it was from your hometown. The knot in your stomach tightened, your heart started beating wildly. Could this be your mother?

You knew your mother had your address but could she also have your phone number? Knowing your brother, it could be in the realm of possibilities. However, you really hoped you were wrong.

Pulling the strap of your bag on your shoulder, you saw Michael coming back to his house, as you were locking your door.

“Good morning.” You greeted him with a smile.

“Good mornin’.” He smiled back as he stepped closer to you. “Yer goin’ to work?”

“Oh, no.” You shook your head quickly. “I’m just going to the shops. I need to grab some things.”

He nodded at your words and then, silence fell upon you. You started to feel awkward, standing there, facing him. He scratched the back of his neck; you adjusted the strap of your bag on your shoulder, growing nervous.

“So, I’m sure this is a stupid question but—how are you?” You asked him.

Michael let out a long breath, the kind that one may let out when they were feeling drained and burdened by life. He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Been dealin’ with a lot.”

“Yeah, I can only imagine.” You nodded, in understanding. You knew how crazy the next few days would be for him and his family.

He took a step closer. “Thank ya for stayin’ last night.”

“It was nothing, really.” You shrugged before looking down at your shoes.

“It was everythin'.” Michael replied, you looked back up at his face.

You held his gaze, his hazel eyes drawing you in. You didn’t seem to be able to pull your gaze away from him. The intensity in his gaze made you breathless. You swallowed your saliva, your tongue darted out to wet your lips. His eyes fell on them.

“If you—I mean—uh, if you need anyone to talk to, I’m—right next door.” You stammered out, offering once more.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Michael’s lips twitched up at the corner.

You took a slight step back. You needed to break away from whatever spell he had cast on you. “I’ll see you around, I guess.”

He nodded with a small smirk, “Yeah.”

You walked away after waving at him. Michael snorted as he watched you walk away as you shook your head in embarrassment, mumbling to yourself.

Seeing you had made his day better, even if it was brief. Michael had met up with Jimmy earlier for drinks. It was clear that his brother wanted revenge for Jamie. And he understood, he did. But he couldn’t do that. Not if he wanted access to Anna. She was all that mattered to him. The most important person in his life. Although he was angry about Jamie’s death. He, too, wanted revenge for the boy’s death, he just couldn’t get involved. If he did, he would lose Anna too. Jimmy had been angry at his refusal, insisting that it would all be in the name of family.

He understood, he did. But Anna was family too.

Things had not gone better after their meeting with Frank, at Birdy’s house. Frank had wanted Jimmy to sit still and not to do anything. He had made it clear that they couldn’t go against Eamon Cunnigham. Jamie’s death had been an unfortunate mistake, they were going after Eric, he said. Even then, Frank refused to take actions against Eamon and his men. And to add insult to injury, Frank had given his brother a bag of cash to compensate for Jamie’s death. From Eamon. As though money would solve his son's death. Jimmy pissed on the cash and rightfully so. Money wasn’t what Jimmy wanted. Jimmy wanted blood. A life for a life.

A knock sounded on his door, Michael opened the door only to find Frank.

“Listen, Michael,” Frank shut the door behind him. “I know this is absolutely fucking shit for Jimmy and Amanda.”

“It’s wrong, Frank.” Michael agreed.

“But we are gonna get Moore,” Frank continued. “In time. Yeah? It’s like Birdy said, we just need to be patient.”

“And what if it had been Eric killed instead of Jamie?” Michael questioned.

“I’d be sayin’ the exact same thing. But it wasn’t Eric. And Jamie is not your kid, either.” Michael felt anger rose within him. He cast his eyes down on the kitchen counter before leaning on it. “Anna is, though. No court is gonna let you anywhere near her if this family is in a feud.”

“Look, I’m stayin’ out of it.” Michael assured him.

“Yeah,” Frank stepped closer. “And see if you can make sure Jimmy doesn’t do anything—fucking stupid—in the meantime. Can do that?” Michael only hummed in response, nodding his head. “Good.”

Of course, it was on him to keep Jimmy out of trouble. Of course, it was on him to make sure Jimmy didn’t start a war with Eamon Cunnigham. It was a shitty thing for Frank to use his desire to get Anna back against him. Just to make sure he wouldn’t agree with anything that Jimmy would ask of him. He was pissed off that Frank had to remind him, insisting that Jamie wasn’t his. He already knew that. Jimmy was his da, not Michael.

But Jamie was his too.

You sat on your kitchen counter waiting for your dinner to cook. This impromptu rest day had been beneficial to you. You had spent the day in town, enjoying yourself. A day away from work and taking people complaints on the phone. It could be draining at times, so this day was much needed. Even your brief encounter with Michael had somehow been welcomed, although it had been sort of awkward and embarrassing.

“What was that wave for?” You facepalmed yourself, still mortified by it. “That was so dumb.”

Your phone rang next to you. Same number than this morning. You picked up the call, there was breathing on the other side but no words were uttered. “Who are you?” You asked shakily. Still no answer. And before you could ask another question, the call was ended.

You had a terrible feeling about this.

“So, did he?” You were with your sister on the phone.

“Yeah, he did.”  Your sister sighed. “But that’s not Mom’s number.”

“Then whose is it?” You asked her, panic rising in your chest.

“I don’t know.” Mary replied.

“I don’t like this, Mary.” You rubbed your face. “They had been calling all day. And every time I pick up, no one’s fucking talking.”

“Come on, babe, don’t go into a panic.”  Mary tried to soothe you from across the pond. “Why don’t you block the number? It’s just probably someone prank calling you.”

“I doubt that.” You leaned on the wall behind you. “But yeah, I’ll block the number.” You let out a deep breath. “Do you think it might be him?”

“Who?”

“Her husband.” You said shakily. Your sister remained silent on the other side of the line. Her silence alone was enough to confirm it. You were terrified of the man, you always had been.

“I’m going to kill Dave.” Your sister almost growled on the phone. You snorted. “Or I’ll sent Matt after him.”

“There’s no need but thank you.” You moved to your couch. “But you can tell him that—that—he’s no longer my brother. That he can forget about me.”

“Are you sure about that?” Mary asked you softly. “I mean he’s family and—the kids love you. Especially little Sammy.”

“He doesn’t act like family. And as much as I love the kids, I can’t—” You pushed out a tired sigh. “He knew what he was doing and I can’t forgive him for that.”

“I know. Just—it’s just the four of us now. We are supposed to—I don’t know—be close like we used to. Be a family.”

“Yeah, but we grew up and maybe some of us forgot what that meant.”

“Are you gonna be okay?”

“Yeah, gotta be.”

Growing up, your father had made sure that you all valued each other; that you would put each other first. Which had made you all very close to one another. You were a knit tight group. But as you had mentioned to your sister, you had all grown up. And unfortunately, some of you had grown apart. You always had this fantasy that all four of you would spend countless dinners together with your children and spouses. And that was all it was, a fantasy.

Priorities changed with adulthood, you had your jobs, your own family. You couldn’t prioritize each other anymore. And you understood that, you did. However, it didn’t mean that your brother could just go behind your back and betray your wishes in the way he did.

You were still family though. Was it really worth it to cut all ties with him? Even if it meant you would no longer have access to his children, including your goddaughter.

You blocked the number as you said you would. And just in case, your sister had given you your mother’s number so, you could block it too. Before the phone calls, you were sure that your mother and her husband would not show up at your doorstep. But now, you weren’t so sure anymore.  

You woke in the middle of the night. And there it was standing at the foot of your bed, a faceless and shadowy figure. You tried to scream but no sound came out. You tried to move but you were paralyzed. The shadowy figure walked up to your bed, tears pressed against your eyes, your heart was racing underneath your ribcage, breathing was becoming hard. As though something was pressing down on it. The shadowy figure was no longer faceless. You recognized him. You knew him. You tried to scoot away from him as he stood over you with a smile on his face. Again, your body refused to obey to you. He moved his arm to pet your hair—

You gasped for air as your eyes snapped open. You sat up quickly, cradling your chest, feeling it rose as you took deep breaths. You switched on the lamp on your beside table. There was no one in your room with you. You were alone. Still, this knowledge wasn’t enough to reassure you. Your heart did not slow down. You got out of bed quickly. Rushed down the stairs, checking that your front door was still locked. And it was. You pushed down the doorknob four times, making sure it was in fact, locked. You even went as far as looking around your house, switching all the lights on, you looked in every room. Looking into closets and under the beds.

No one.

Eventually, your heart went back to a normal rate. You switched off the lights but you left the television on. Low volume. You laid down on your couch, you couldn’t go back to sleep in your bed. Not after this horrible nightmare. It looked too real. It had felt too real and it was fucking with your head. Although, you knew there was no one, you still looked around in fear.

You stared at the ceiling, praying for sleep to come. You were going back to work in the morning. And you didn’t want to deal with the lack of sleep on top of it all.

The television cast a blue soft glow over the room, the sounds acting as white noise. Your eyes drifted to the wall behind your couch. What was Michael doing at this hour? Probably sleeping, unlike you. You took a deep breath and turned on your side. Your back to the television, your face buried in the cushions, it was stupid, you thought to yourself. To seek comfort in someone that was on the other side of this very wall.

Was it wrong of you to want comfort and reassurance from Michael Kinsella? Maybe, it didn’t matter who was really offering it. Maybe, you just wanted someone to be there. Someone to put their arms around you, to make you feel safe.

And yet, it was Michael’s arms you pictured around you as you fell asleep. It was his voice you imagined, whispering words of reassurance.

As dangerous as Michael may be, it would never be worse than your stepfather.

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[poledancingdinos]

Hostile Territory - Chapter 17

Pairing: Captain Syverson x OFC (Leah Coleman)

Word count: 4K

Warnings: Mentioned character death

Catch up: Series Masterlist

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A/N: Let's pretend like this isn't a million months late and let's pretend I didn't suddenly forget how to write during my time away.

Day 201

Fifteen days. They were getting fifteen whole days home. They’d just landed in North Carolina and from there, each soldier would head their separate ways. Unfortunately, Leah’s flight to Denver wasn’t until the next day. She would have driven home if the drive wasn’t actually longer than simply waiting sixteen hours for her flight.

She’d planned on spending the night waiting around at the airport but a few men who were in the same situation as her had found a motel for the night and she had to admit that having a place to shower was a big enough appeal to cancel out sleeping in a cramped room with three of the men.

Had their overseas flight not been delayed, Sy would have driven straight down to see his folks. As it was, it was already getting late and he didn’t want to make the five hour trip in the dark. Besides, no one would be awake if he showed up after midnight.

After taking a cab to retrieve his truck where he’d placed it in storage, Sy made his way back to the motel. The men had already made themselves at home and were sharing a few beers on the plastic chairs that surrounded the empty pool.

“How can I help you, dear?” the woman behind the desk greeted him.

“I’d appreciate a room for the night, if ya have one. Just one bed’ll do.”

“Oh… I’m sorry, we’re full up. I assumed you were with all the other boys.”

“Well, ma’am, I am. I just hadn’t planned on stayin’ in town tonight so none of them saved a bed for me.”

The woman looked through the hand written registry again but Sy already knew the answer wouldn’t change from the empty peg board behind her.

“I wish I could help you out but a lovely young woman just checked out the last room. We normally have a four person per room policy but I’ll look the other way if you want to squeeze in with any of your fellow soldiers. The least I can do is make sure the men who serve our country get a roof over their heads when they are back home.”

Sy tipped his head in thanks and walked out of the little office. He pulled the cap down over his head though it didn’t do much to protect him from the light of the setting sun.

It looked like he was going to have to ask one of the boys for a favor. The question was, who did he want to bunk with for the night? On the flight over he’d heard them talking about hitting the bars tonight. Sleeping on the floor might land him in a splash zone if he didn’t choose wisely. He didn’t trust any of them to drink in moderation. Not after that last op.

Garrett had flatlined on the chopper while being transported. They somehow got him back but when they finally got him into surgery, it was already too late. Of the other two that were evac’d, one was expected to make a full recovery and the other would most likely walk with a limp for the rest of his life.

Then there was LT. He had a half dozen broken ribs, a concussion and a collapsed lung but he was also expected to make a full recovery. His injuries were mild all things considered and Sy had almost left him there to die.

“I thought you’d be halfway home by now,” a sweet voice spoke from behind him.

Sy was shocked when he turned to find Leah, who had apparently showered and changed into a pair of leggings and an oversized shirt she’d tied into a knot at her hip. Her hair was still damp but she’d left it loose around her shoulders to air dry. It was his first time seeing her out of uniform and her casual outfit might as well have been expensive lingerie if his dick’s reaction was any indication.

“Didn’t want to drive in the dark. Starting to regret it though. They’re full up so I either bum a spot on someone’s floor for the night or I call around until I find a place with a vacancy.”

Leah made a face like she understood how unappealing both of those options were.

“Well… I’ve got a king bed all to myself.”

Sy swallowed the lump forming in his throat. Was that an invitation or was she just stating a fact? Not that Leah was the kind of person to add salt to a wound but surely she wasn’t implying what he annoyingly hoped she was implying.

Leah pulled on an old USMC crew neck, causing her shirt to lift up and expose the skin of her stomach. The sweatshirt was well worn and the tip of the sleeves were frayed where she rolled them up. The state of the fabric made Sy believe that the shirt had most likely belonged to her father and he decided to forgive the insult of wearing something meant for a jarhead.

“I was going to pick up some snacks and juice from around the corner since I hadn’t planned on going out. I think there was a liquor store too.” Leah reached into the pocket on the side of her leggings and handed a small key ring to Sy. “How does pizza, beer and half a king bed sound?”

It sounded like perfect bliss and asking for trouble all wrapped into one.

Sy took the key, seeing a small number twenty etched into the plastic. He looked back at the motel, studying the numbers on the doors.

“It’s the room above the office. The stairs that lead to the door are on the side since it’s a separate structure from the rest of the rooms.”

That was good. If Sy was lucky, no one would notice that he was sharing Leah’s room.

And no one would hear her scream his name if he fucked her into the mattress.

Shit. Not a good train of thought if he wanted to make it through the night in the same bed as Leah. 

“I’ll order while you’re gone. Unless you want me to drive?”

She shook her head, her dark brown locks moving in the breeze.

“I need to stretch my legs after that flight. I’ll be back in forty-five, maybe an hour tops.”

With that, Leah was off. Sy hurried to his truck for his duffle then up the steps to the room. The first thing he needed was to clean the twenty-some-odd layers of dust and dirt off his body. After placing a quick order with a local pizzeria he found in the phonebook, he stripped out of his clothes and stepped into the shower.

The bathroom was still humid from when Leah had been in there earlier so he didn’t shut the door all the way. The fan was on but Sy was pretty sure it’s only function was to make noise.

Thirty minutes and half a tiny bar of soap later, Sy deemed himself as clean as he was going to get and switched off the now tepid water.

He was in the process of drying himself off when the hotel room door opened and shut with a slam. He hadn’t left it unlocked, he hadn’t left any door unlocked since he left his parents’ house at eighteen which meant Leah was back and she’d let herself in with a second key.

Scrambling to cover himself up, Sy realized he hadn’t taken his clean clothes out of his pack. He wrapped the towel around his waist but it was too short to stay put on its own, forcing him to hold the ends together. There was no way he could walk out like that. 

“Coleman?”

“Yeah, it’s just me.”

“Would ya mind bringin’ me my bag?”

At the same moment a knock sounded from the door.

“Fuck. That’ll be the food.”

Leah came into view through the crack in the door, setting Sy’s bag by the ground.

“It’s fine, I’ll get it.”

“No, you paid for drinks, I’ll get the food, just let me find my wallet.”

Another, more insistent, knock came from the door and Leah ran over to open it, exchanging a short greeting with the delivery man.

Sy crouched by his bag, pulling the door open another few inches as he rustled through the pockets. He was getting nowhere with one hand, eventually pinching the thin cotton of the towel in the crease of his hip to free up his left hand.

“Fuckin’ finally,” he grumbled when his hand wrapped around the worn leather of his bill fold. He pulled out three bills, holding them up for Leah to take.

Leah made a choked sound when she caught a glimpse of Sy’s body only shielded by a barely there towel. She snatched the money from his hands with a mumbled thanks before averting her eyes and running back to the door.

Sy dressed in thirty seconds flat, exiting the bathroom right as Leah opened a bottle of rum and poured a generous amount in one of those individually packaged plastic cups that were as small as the soap. She lifted the drink to her lips, downing the whole thing in one go before filling it again.

“What are we drinkin’?” he asked as he came to stand a little too close to Leah.

“Beer or rum.” She cleared her throat, putting some distance between them as she opened the pizza boxes. “What are we eating?”

“Meat or meat.”

He really hoped she didn’t have anything against pepperoni, sausage or bacon because he had gotten one deluxe and one four meat pizza. When ordering, he hadn’t considered that she might follow a specific diet when was home.

His worries were abated when Leah opened both boxes on the dresser, dexterously swapping half of the deluxe pizza for half of the all meat one before closing the box again and taking the other over to the bed. The room didn’t have a table or chairs so it was as good a spot as any to sit and eat.

Sy took over making Leah’s rum and coke, which she’d abandoned when Sy’s closeness had made her brain malfunction, then opened a bottle of beer for himself.

“So, where are you headed from here?” Sy asked, handing Leah her drink then taking a massive bite of the deluxe pizza. It looked like he barely chewed it before he went in for a second and third bite.

“I’m going to stay at our old house. My brother decided to move into an apartment after receiving his residency match to be closer to work so it’ll just be me, myself and I for the better part of the next two weeks.”

She tried to hide it, but Sy could tell she was disappointed. Who could blame her? Caleb was the only family she had left and she would get forty-eight hours with him after so long apart.

“What about you? You mentioned your siblings and your parents… is there an ol’ lady somewhere in that mix?”

Sy’s head snapped up, pausing halfway through chewing his bite. She wasn’t looking at him, instead keeping her eyes on the drink as she swirled the contents around her cup.

“What makes ya think I have a wife or even a girlfriend waitin’ back home?” His tone was harsher than he’d intended but he was a little offended by what she was insinuating.

She kept her eyes downcast as she shrugged. Her lips were pursed from the way she nervously chewed the inside of her cheek. Maybe it wasn’t so much an accusation as it was her way of tiptoeing into the subject.

“Hey…” Sy waited until Leah dared to look up before he continued. “I’m no saint,” he admitted, his voice soft, “but I ain’t a cheat. If I had someone waitin’, she’d be it for me.” Not everyone considered kissing cheating but his ever growing feelings would definitely constitute infidelity. Leah’s eyes flickered from left to right, studying his face as she considered his words before finally giving a little nod of acceptance.

There was a tense silence as she picked up another piece of pizza, leaving her crusts in the box. Had Aika been with them, he would have given them to her as a treat. He was surprised how much he found himself to be missing the pup.

He’d found a shelter that helped send strays overseas for them to be adopted. They’d been willing to look after Aika until they returned and he’d arranged for them to give her all the shots she needed to keep her safe and eventually allow her into the States. They’d asked if he wanted them to help get her home right away but he couldn’t imagine going back to a life on base without his four-legged shadow.

Watching from the corner of his eye as she ate, Sy went over the speech he’d been preparing in his head the whole flight home. He knew what he wanted to say but for some reason the words kept getting caught in his throat. They had expertly avoided the subject the last two months on base but it was time for him to suck it up and say what needed to be said.

“I never apologized.” Leah’s head tilted to the side as she looked at him. She was still working on a mouthful of food but the little motion was enough to convey what she was thinking.

“For kissin’ you,” Sy clarified. “It should never have happened. You were hurt and vulnerable then I went and put ya in a position where ya probably felt like ya couldn’t say ‘no’. I let my personal feelings get the best of me and I accept full responsibility for that. I’m really sorry.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, staring down at her drink.

Noticing her glass was empty, she moved off the bed to the improvised bar. She appreciated Sy’s apology. The circumstances under which he had acted were indeed quite poor, but at the same time, she understood what had pushed him to act—it was the same instinct that had pushed her to go after Niki, career be damned. It was terrifying to think that Sy felt so strongly about her, but it was even more terrifying that she desperately wanted him to.

She took her time fixing her drink, using the break in conversation to gather her courage.

On the bed, Sy was beginning to grow anxious. With her back turned, he couldn’t tell what was going through Leah’s head as the silence stretched on. He foolishly hoped she was gathering the courage to ask for a repeat but for all he knew, she could also be gathering the courage to ask him to leave.

It didn’t go unnoticed that maybe it also hadn’t been the best of plans to apologize when the two of them were stuck in a room with only one bed but it was already well overdue.

He also probably shouldn’t have agreed to share the room in the first place.

What had he been thinking? Even if his head knew to keep his hands to himself, the brain between his legs had a completely different idea of how to spend the next ten hours. He probably wouldn’t sleep a wink out of fear that he would drift off, roll over and grind his dick right into her ass.

He was just about ready to go spend the night in the bed of his truck when she spoke in a soft, unsure voice. He’d never heard her sound so meek.

“When you kissed me, there was a second there where I didn’t really understand what was happening. Everything was a little foggy, like I was in a dream.”

It no doubt felt like a dream because of the concussion. He hadn’t even considered how confused she must have been in addition to being tired, in pain and in a closed room with her superior who was suddenly getting handsy.

“But it wasn’t a dream," Leah finally said. “You were really there. Really holding me. Really kissing me.”

It was his turn to stand, coming to a halt a safe distance behind Leah. There was a small mirror on the wall which now allowed him to study her face in the reflection as she peeked up and did the same.

He’d replayed their kiss in his head so many times since that night. He’d begun to question whether he had only imagined those few blissful moments when Leah had kissed him back before she got spooked.

“A part of me was ecstatic,” feeling hopeful, Sy took a careful step forward and Leah turned to face him, “but another part of me was terrified.”

Shit. “Why?”

“Well, you’re my superior. I don’t need to explain why that’s a horrible idea.”

No, she didn’t. He’d thought about that every day since he’d first met the feisty young woman. But he had the feeling that was not the only factor. Sy took another step, making Leah’s breath hitch from the proximity. “And?”

Leah went back to chewing the inside of her cheek, looking away. Suddenly losing his nerve, Sy moved back, clearing the empty paper plates and pizza box from the bed. He wasn’t sure he could hear her reasons for not wanting him.

“It’s okay, ya don’t have to tell me. I’ll get outta here and let ya get some rest.”

He was disappointed, but what had he expected? That she would confess her undying love for him and that suddenly everything would be all fine and dandy?

Sy moved to his duffle, packing up the clothing items that had fallen onto the floor of the bathroom as he’d dug through it.

The sudden fear of watching Sy walk away was enough to convince Leah to speak.

“Please don’t go.”

Sy froze, surprised by her rushed plea. He slowly straightened, making his way back to Leah where she dropped onto the bed, hugging herself tightly. Sy longed to be the one to comfort her but he didn’t want to risk pushing her too far. Again.

“I really wanted to kiss you but then I started to worry that maybe you were expecting… more.”

That made Sy pause, crouching in front of Leah. “What exactly did ya think I was expectin’?”

“I— I don’t know.” She sniffled, shaking her head before wiping her cheek on the back of her hand. “It seemed like every time I got hurt I got a bedside visit from you and that night… You had this look in your eye like you thought you’d never see me again. You can’t blame me for thinking that there was something more than kissing on your mind.”

Just like that, Sy was back on base, reliving the most terrifying events of his life. Whenever he thought back to that night he’d been so focused on his stupidly impulsive decision to kiss a soldier under his command that he had almost forgotten about the op. Or maybe he’d just had a selective memory that preferred to remember the softness of her lips over the way she’d been so completely still when he found her unconscious.

“When I walked in and saw ya on that floor, I was convinced that I’d lost ya. I kept thinkin’ of all the things that I wished I’d said then, when ya woke up, I still couldn’t speak a single fuckin’ word so I— I didn’t think, I just acted.”

“Can you... tell me now?”

Sy swallowed the lump in his throat feeling his palms start to sweat. All the stress was coming right back but this time, he was determined to make it through. He took Leah’s hands in his.

“You’ve been on my mind since the first moment I saw ya. I liked that you didn’t take any shit from anyone. And since then… Fuck, I’ve just been falling hard. You make me feel understood in ways I've never experienced before. You make me feel like— Like I’m good enough.”

Leah looked down at their joined hands. “What if I can’t be enough? What if I can’t give you what you need?”

At first Sy thought she meant a relationship but when she unconsciously glanced down to the bed, Sy began to put the pieces together.

“Leah,” it was still foreign to use her first name, “does sex make ya uncomfortable?”

“Sometimes.” She tried to pull away but Sy didn’t let go. He caught her eye, giving her a look that clearly meant to cut the bullshit. “Okay, a lot of the time. Even if guys are willing to wait, they tend to expect sex at some point down the line and I can’t guarantee that I’ll ever be into it.”

“And ya think that’s a deal breaker for me?” He had to admit that, although he was used to going long periods of time on his own, he’d assumed sex would be on the table when he was home.

“Well, you are Captain ‘Pussy-is-on-the-food-pyramid’ Syverson.”

Sy winced, running a hand over his cropped hair. He hadn’t meant the question as an accusation but her defensiveness was understandable. 

“Yeah, okay, I can see where you’re coming from but it ain’t like that. There’s no fun in it if my girl don’t like it.”

Noticing she was still skeptical, Sy lifted the hem of his shirt. When Leah didn’t make a move to stop him, he guided her hand to his chest, holding it flat over his scar. “I learned the hard way that thinkin’ with my dick gets me nowhere good. I’ll give all that up in a heartbeat if it means I get a shot at somethin’ real.”

Leah traced the lines of his scar. She remembered it perfectly though she hadn’t dared ask about it when they’d been in his room on base.

“You think I’m something real?” she whispered.

Releasing her hand, Sy brushed Leah’s hair out of her face and kissed her temple.

“Yeah, I do.”

It was obvious that Leah was still scared of the possible repercussions. After all, she had every reason to be worried about the impact a relationship could have on her career. Leah was still young, she had a lot to learn about what she wanted in life and a lot to lose should anything go wrong. As much as Sy wanted to pull her to him and kiss her until she couldn’t think of anything else, Leah needed time to make a decision.

Looking at her more closely, Sy took in the dark circles under Leah’s eyes and the way her cheeks looked more sunken than ever before. She’d been a wreck after Niki and with good reason. The caveman in him felt better knowing that he’d fed her but she was still in desperate need of a good night’s rest.

He would have to put a pin in the conversation until they got back to base.

“What time’s your flight?”

“Eight.”

“Then you need to get some sleep.” Sy stood, pulling Leah up with him. She didn’t argue, simply grabbing her pack and heading into the bathroom. Meanwhile, Sy cleaned up the leftover pizza, managing to fit the box in the mini-fridge. He shut the curtains and switched off the main light, leaving only the bedside lamp on. After a moment of hesitation, he removed his shirt, keeping his shorts on, and climbed into bed.

Leah joined him a moment later, and to his surprise, she wrapped herself around him from behind. She’d changed into something sleeveless and the feeling of her bare arms over his skin nearly made him groan.

“You’re warm.”

“Na Sugar, your hands are just freezin’.” He intertwined their fingers together, happily sharing his body heat.

Leah smiled to herself at the easy way the endearment fell from his lips. Just for one night, she would let herself enjoy Sy’s company. For one night, she would pretend that he wasn’t her captain. For one night, she would pretend she wasn’t terrified he would eventually get sick of waiting for something that might never happen.

Sy woke the next morning to a shiver running down his spine. He sensed Leah’s absence immediately and he didn’t need to look around the room to know that she was gone.

Chapter 18