#and i went. ok this'll be a treat for when i go aight. time to head to bed

[synonymroll648]

okay so trans storytime with s! this one has a happy ending :)

it's october 2021. i have known i was not cisgender for about a year. i've been out as genderqueer for a couple months. due to the previously discussed "men are evil" shit i'd internalized, i am firmly in denial about the fact that i'm a guy even though it's pretty fucking obvious i'm male.

so, i'm at homecoming with my friends, we're vibing, and one friend decides she wants to take photos. we take one photo as a group, then she takes one of the boys, then says we should take one photo of the girls. then she looks over at me in my short-hair-suit-and-tie glory and goes "well, girls and s!"

i appreciate that she's not calling me a girl, but something feels more uncomfortable than if i'd just been left out of the picture altogether. if i had to do gendered photos, i think i would have rather been grouped with the boys. i don't know how to say any of this. i take the girls-and-s photo and wish i had the balls (pun intended) to be in the boys' photo.

somehow i don't recognize this as a sign that perhaps i am a boy.

fast forward to august 2023. i'm at camp and we're having a dance. my group of friends taking photos. after we do one photo all together, the rest of the group splits up by gender. this time, i decide to join in the boys' photo, no one says anything weird, i look great, and now it's one of my favorite pictures. gender wins.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THAT DOES HAVE A HAPPY ENDING!! GENDER DOES WIN!!! that's super duper awesome growth in terms of trans acceptance, vv proud :DD

also. the 'wish i had the balls' joke made me smile. ty