#and i think it's interesting in terms of evan bein involved in it 2

[kachinnate]

i think one of the equally great and equally ‘this-is-why-it-got-cut-and-replaced’ things about ‘part of me’ is how much of a dick it makes evan into 

cuz like let’s look at it !! 

a part of me is almost exclusively connor’s family mourning him. it’s really intense and kind of dark, y’know? yes, they still talk about evan’s speech and w/e but the majority of the lyrics and the majority of what is happening is zoe, cynthia, and larry are finally letting themselves mourn and cry and miss connor together as a family. minus the interlude in the middle where they’re talking about evan’s speech, it’s not v hopeful and is more so the murphys grievin 

in comparison, ywbf is partially that (but more or less not through lyrics - larry breaks down into tears in the middle and zoe has her moment at the end where she’s like ‘you’ve given me my brother back’), but is more or less about evan’s speech bringing a community together and the message of tcp! they don’t actually really talk about connor’s death that much yknow, more so abt the future and tcp and how big of an impact evan’s speech had,, it’s rlly hopeful and inspirin!! (and a fuckin ANTHEM tbh what a bop) 

evan is still lying in both but in ywbf all he’s doin is lyin in the beginning abt the origin story, nothing new - he doesn’t talk about missing connor, he doesn’t talk abt how upset he is that connor isn’t there anymore... but he’s incredibly present in a part of me - he sings a lot of the same things that the murphys are singing, which makes it seem like he’s mourning with them ... which is a little worse then just lying about being connor’s friend i think, pretending to share his family’s pain to the same extent and understand what they’re feeling is just |’D it’s another step, he has to go out of his way to do that y’know?? he has no idea what they’re feeling, he might feel bad that connor isn’t there but he has no real idea what that loss feels like and pretending like he does PLUS the fact that he’s lyin abt uh EVERYTHING makes it a real stinkboymove.jpg,,,, does that make se nse pdigsjdgs 

ALSO OMG these lyrics that he shares with zoe: 

Can’t believe it’s even real / A part of me / Doesn’t know how much to feel / A part of me / Finds a rush within the pain / A part of me / Needs the feeling to remain

clearly they’re each talkin abt different things , bUT ,, at least to me,,,, i rlly feel like to evan ‘a rush within the pain’ is regarding this shitty terrible situation of him lying and how it’s lowkey getting him attention and his Perfect Family and he wants it to remain whiCH HE NEVER SAYS EXPLICITLY IN THE SHOW BUT WE ALL KNOW HE’S THINKIN IT BUT HERE HE JUST STRAIGHT UP SAYS IT ??

all in all: despite how much i fuckin love this song,, they probably made the right choice cuttin in so we wouldn’t Antagonize Evan more than we already do |’D