#and i still amount to nothing I'm just pathetically weak I csnt do anyhting
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transgenerational trauma getting to me tonight
#vent#how did we live like that#i feel so ashamed of myself I have everyhring I cpuod ask for I have so much more than my mom had#i didnt have to work in the fields since I was 4 like my mom did. I have more to eat than bread butter and boiled cabbage a day#I have more than three shirts. I HAVE SHOES. I HAVE A ROOM FOR MYSELF#and i still amount to nothing I'm just pathetically weak I csnt do anyhting#I didn't go to work today because I was feeling 'bad' meanwhile my mom would get whipped or hit with brooms for that#she spent her whole life to make sure my life would be better and I do nothing with it#I hate myself for feeling bad for myself#our grandma's used to be sold off to more wealthy farms on the countryside to work for food since they were little kids and i feel sad#because I can't buy big groceries and cook dishes for myself. i need to smash my head with a rock and maybe remember#that we used to eat grains soaked in milk and sleep on the floor with 6 people in a single room
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