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#and i know that sounds like a dunk on the cat blog but i really don't mean it like that
angrysnakes · 3 months
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I saw you reposted KMC-Birdsong's leaving post on their warrior cat blog. I admittedly had to skim most of it because of lack of time, but I am revolted. I am so sorry this is long as fuck but I am livid.
The balls to have said things like that in all those screens where they promised to be there for Toffee, ETC, then just ruin their life and replicate the exact behavior they apparently against.
I honestly feel like nothing Bird could’ve possibly said would’ve been an actually somewhat justifiable reason to do any of this, but the ones they listed were leaking of guilt even before that ru person explained further why they were absolutely nonsensical and deplorable.
Super uncomfortable too that Talking acted super cocky and like a highschool bully when they weren't aware Bird was lying to their face, and glossing over antisemitism and other disgusting bigoted shit just to have an echo chamber; how the fuck is Bird ever comfortable with themselves. Grow up. It says a lot too, that Talking deleted their blog and has kept quiet.
Bird then immediately coddling when caught and were willing to dunk on Toffee further just to maintain that and Talking's blase attitude is revolting, no consideration or compassion for the hurt they caused even when admitting bare minimum wrong doing and not give Toffee a chance, fuck off actually. You are perfect for each other if you can done abuse and bigotry just to remain together and use the excuse of knowing each other for a long time to not recognize that - a long history doesn't cancel out the shitty actions you create together in modern time.
That screen where their whiteknight sounding friend said "I've seen autistic people who handle things better than them" and Bird having the balls to call a person they claimed to care about's trauma "conflicting tales" because they couldn't handle their own actions, fuck off???
Go shove that gatekeeping, gaslighting deflective bullshit right up your arse. leaving out all the details that hinted any vulnerability in Toffee to victimise themselves too. How Mature. :)))))
I do agree Toffees attempts at communication were very unnecessary and pushy, and even uncomfortable at times, I can see why they would, they should not have done that. But they did not deserve this level of ABUSE and exploitation of their time, art and ideas with no explanation of being left to dump like garbage and Bird having the balls to use their ideas after ditching them???
The IRL stuff now makes the suicidal ideation, gaslighting and being abandoned in SC not authentic at all. More proof that your stories don't reflect your IRL views; it's a special kind of fucked up to have characters do what you can't in real life. At least for me, it explains why SC2 seems so ridden with guilt, the constant Swift bashing and why his character got so badly butchered (which is so...do they not see how awful that is to have the DISABLED protag be the constant butt of the joke and have the plot torture him??)
I hope more people see your reblog. I can't imagine being in a position where you can do nothing while the person who fucked you over can just walk away and not consider you after they dumped all your shared stuff and friendship away. Temporary break my arse. That was a deliberate manipulative excuse to abandon them because of reasons they couldn't even honestly give.
For real, it's really annoying. Some people get dogpiled online over nothing but then others get off Scott free because their shit isn't as interesting of drama or whatever. Really I just wanted bird to fix their mistakes but I can see now they're a coward that may never change and I hope they get a taste of their own medicine someday.
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fadewalking · 3 years
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This is coming out of nowhere i guess but I've been trying to just unpack my feelings about the trend of people @ing blogs like isthecatvideocute or whatever critter a video is featuring, in every single video with a cat regardless of the actual content. And this really isnt meant to be a dig at those kinds of blogs, especially the cat one because I've so far never disagreed with any of their judgements and they seem to do at least a little bit of research into answering questions. But something about this entire thing is discomforting to me. And i think in part, it's the blind faith and like.... absolute authority that the general public seems to give these blogs. And not just absolute authority but like.. necessary absolute authority, which i think is what truly bothers me. Like, I've seen videos of the most benign things. Cats just walking around, or playing with something, completely unbothered in any way, and in the comments I'll see an @ for that blog and im just like.... why.....
And sometimes they'll even say why. And usually it's just because they "think it's probably fine but just want to make sure." And it's these type of statements that, which obviously well intentioned, really don't sit right with me, for two reasons.
First and most obviously, the whole blind faith thing. I appreciate that the good folk who run that cat blog genuinely seem to be invested in making sure the advice they give is as accurate as they can give it. Even if that advice is to "go see a vet". But the fact is that none of the people who run that blog are animal experts, at least that isnt advertised on their blog from what i saw. If im wrong about this, then sorry, but the issue still applies to other similar blogs who are just run by regular nonexperts who may or may not even have personal experience in owning whatever creature it is as a pet. For the cat blog specifically, they do say that they all have years of experience owning cats. So that's great, but who's to say that the blog owner of is-the-capybara-video-cute has ever even seen one irl? (Im going to assume that's not a real blog, since i just picked a random animal as an example. Sorry if that is a real blog, and sorry if the blog owner is rad) what im saying is i dont think we should be giving the advice of non-experts the weight of opinion that should be afforded to an expert. I dont have a problem with these blogs existing or people asking them questions, but i just dont think we should be thinking of their word as beyond reproach.
Secondly i don’t like this idea that a lot of people seem to have that we NEED to get Cat Blog to weigh in on a video in order to feel guilt free about enjoying it, if there's nothing outstanding as a potential bad thing. Which i get is a kind of tricky thing for me to feel, because certainly there are some things that are bad for cats that most people think of as benign, or wouldn't even know to question. And i know that being overcautious comes from a place of concern for the welfare of the animal. And even if they arent experts, i get that there's still a place for blogs like that, and it's not necessarily WRONG to seek their advice. But also. I feel like we should be using our own judgment and critical thinking skills whenever we view any piece of media. We shouldn't need permission to appreciate or dislike every single thing that comes across us. If there is clearly nothing wrong, we shouldn't be asking. If there clearly IS something wrong (like a video where someone yeets their cat across the room or something wild like that) we shouldn't be asking. It just feels like there's no boundary. If a cat is in it, it has to get the Cat Blog stamp of approval. And these cat blog people could be anybody! (But again they seem lovely.) That is my issue.
Tl;dr: Think for yourselves. Do your own research. Go to an advice blog if something is ambiguous or unclear, and leave the end all, be all judgments to the experts.
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hoeforau · 4 years
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~🤍~
Taeil
...
Johnny - Youngho
I’ll send all my loving to you - @sehunniepotwrites
24.8k - soulmate au!, friends to lovers au!
My favorite Johnny fic out there, by far. It has just the right amount of angst and fluff and just wholesome shit, you know? I’ve already praised this fic on my side blog (see here) but I just had to put it on here too. Bless you for this masterpiece 💛
The legend - @moonttaeil
30k - fratboy Johnny
Welp, might have read this when I was deep in my Johnny feels and now it won’t leave my mind. Frat au! lovers, this is one of, if not the best, frat series there is. If you haven’t already read their frat house series, DO IT.
Taeyong
...
Yuta
...
Doyoung
The trust fund baby - @moonttaeil
25k - frat/richboi Doyoung, fake dating au!
Y’all when I say I cried... This is a really bittersweet story but I LOVED IT. There’s also a part. 2 and it’s just as good. I’ll say it, Xiaojun deserved better, change my mind.
Atlas - @wincore
15.4k - fwb au!, college au!
Okay so this fic fucking wrecked me. I cried, maybe a bit too much. I can’t even express how much I liked it, it’s that good. It has a very, I’d say, “poetic” side to it. So beautiful.
A Marriage of Inconvenience - @lucaswithnoshirt
22.5k - victorian au!, arranged marriage au!
Now I have a soft spot for these particular aus and can I just say that it met every single one of my expectations. I want writer Doyoung as my husband, pls.
Ten -Chittaphon
Une seconde avant noël - @127-mile
5.2k - exes au!
Angst but it ends well. This was so cute, we need more Ten fics like this one in the world.
Ocean eyes - @lucaswithnoshirt
15k - mermaid au!, platonic au!
Okay, so this is probably one of the first fics I’ve read on this website, and it totally drew me in. I’m not used to platonic aus (and I have to admit I wished they at least kissed one but oh well) but as weird as it sounds, it wasn’t unpleasant. In fact, I quite liked it! Very cute.
Jaehyun - Yoonoh
...
Winwin - Sicheng
...
Jungwoo
...
Lucas - Xuxi/Yukhei
...
Mark
19-1664 TPX: Red - @ceruleanskies
8.6k - soulmate au!, assassin au!
Let’s be honest, soulmates au is probably one of the best aus that exists out there, and this fic does it justice. The angst is just *chef kiss*. This is part of a very interesting series that I sadly haven’t yet read in its entirety, but definitely will do in the future.
Xiaojun
...
Hendery - Kunhang
...
Renjun
Huang Renjun’s Envy - @misfitneo
17.5k - mafia au!
This is technically the pt.3 of the Seven deadly sins series by the same author, which I highly recommend too. This one was just hitting the Renjun vibes, you know. ouch ouch ouch, much angst but I love it.
One foot in the Golden life - @nsheetee
9.7k - richkid au!
Oh oh oh now that was so good. There is so few good Renjun fics out there, but this one gets the gold from me (see what I did there?).
Jeno
pussy blocked. : @luvdsc
31k - college au!, fuckboi/girl au!
Okay, I’m not a pancakes gal but... I would gladly sacrifice myself for those.
That’s it, that’s the review/description. Just go read it.
Of captains and college boys: @neocitybynight
8.2k - hockey au!
Part 2 here. (14.7k)
This fucking broke me. I felt every word slam my heart with a hockey stick until my very own soul shook.
Lee Jeno as a hockey player is hot, but Lee Jeno as a genuine and vulnerable human being is hotter.
Haechan - Donghyuck
Lights, Cameras, F*ck you (LDH) - @neocitybynight
31k - Hollywood au!
Now, I believe any Haechan stan has read this fic, and rightfully so. It’s like, the backbone of the Hyuck fics. It’s genuine and well-written, the story is really addictive. It even has a cute little epilogue. Anyhow, a must read.
Solaria - @jenoremii
2.5k - tattoo shop au!
Now of course I added this one to the list. Thank you for fuelling my fantasies about pretty man with tattoos and piercings, highly appreciated 🖤
Home is a feeling - @neonun-au
8.2k - fluff, christmas au...?
Soft soft soft for this. But really, anything by this author is so great. Check them out.
Baby Face - @smileysuh
14.4k - frat Hyuck, enemies to lovers au!
HA! As if I wouldn’t put this masterpiece on my list. I think it’s common knowledge by now that frat Hyuck is my shit. I wanna argue and fight with Hyuck too, if it ends the same way it does in this fic (pls, I’m begging). The entire Frat universe fics are bangers too (I might have read them all too, oops)
Jaemin
The owl and the moon - @jenoremii
7.5k - badboy Jaemin, highschool au!
I requested this one and boy oh boy was I not disappointed. Not the usual badboy fic you’d expect, but in a good way. It has a very comforting and familiar feeling to it.
Two nights, one you - @nctsworld
10.9k - fuckboi jaemin
Now this, this is the ultimate Jaemin fic. It has everything; fuckboi Jaemin, nice smut, slight enemies to lovers... what more can you ask for? This particular Jaemin lives rent free in my mind.
cat & mouse - @tyonfs
17.7k - fbw au!, college au!
So, I never thought I’d want to be Jaehyun’s sister so bad in my life but here I am. The tension and suspense was so... surreal lolz, I loved it. Looking forward to the Jeno fic in the same universe (slam dunk series).
Yangyang
...
Shotaro
...
Sungchan
...
Chenle
...
Jisung
Sweeter than honey - @luvdsc
30k - bestfriends to lovers au!, rich kids au!
!!NO SMUT!! cause we respectful hoes in this household
No but fuck off this was the cutest thing ever. This was such a nice change compared to all them 1k Jisung drabbles... bless you. I ate this up like candy, it was so so sweet omfg I can’t. The group dynamics were so wholesome and the characters URGH (here’s a short list cause I can): Shyshyshy BFF Jisung? Fat Check. Done™️ Renjun? Relatable Check. Football players Nomin (whose image will be forever engraved in my mind)? Legend Check. Insufferable Hyuck? Double Check. And the list goes on... I loved it. A must read for all the soft Jisung stans out there.
———————————🤍———————————
*I know, I know, I have my favorites... feel free to send me some good fics, I’ve got nothing but time to spare
Also, this will keep getting updated cause I can’t stop myself from reading fanfics until 3am so that’s that🙃
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ginkgomoon · 4 years
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Gavin and MC’s High School History- Detailed Timeline
Dedicated to my amazing and kind friend @cheri-cheri- one of the Queens of the MLQC fandom on Tumblr! I literally didn’t know how to use it before but I had learnt how in order to keep up with her posts. Without her work, I literally wouldn’t be on here making my own blog either. Thank you, Cheri!!
This is a timeline following the years of high school that MC and Gavin had together. Compiled of dates, rumours and secrets, calls, texts, and other from multiple servers. The source will be shown allocated to its corresponding sentence. I created this because I was really moved when I rewatched Gavin’s Old Days Date and suddenly thought of the many things other players could have missed out on regarding their high school years. If there is anything you need clarification on, or if you would like to add anything in, feel free to send a post/ask or just comment and I’ll try to incorporate and adjust accordingly! 
Based off of true correspondence of the Chinese education system in Shanghai, where the schools there are very strict, with specific responsibilities and events students must have and attend to. In addition, this is different from Western school systems where years 7-9 are in a seperate schools from years 10-12 before university. Dates and seasons mentioned will also be noted as accurately as possible to suit the Loveland storyline in which different events occurred. I felt like a detective trying to piece a fractured storyline together to solve a mystery, honestly...
Prepare your tissues, your milk tea and your soul because even I almost didn’t make it to publish this...
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Timeline
2008
Gavin enters high school.
2009
MC and Minor enter high school. MC does her hair in a nice ponytail, one of the only hairstyles she ever had in school.
Gavin is a grade above her. He is in his last year of high school. [Spring Festival Date]
Late Autumn of October 2010
“I noticed who you were before you ever noticed me.” 
On a rainy first day of school, Gavin helps Mr Keller move the tables and chairs in the classroom. 
Without taking an umbrella, Gavin leaves. 
At the same time, MC saves a cat in the rain with her handkerchief, attempting to shield it from the incoming rain under a roof. She gives it snacks from her bag while sheltering it from the rain. 
Gavin thinks she was nerdy-looking, but couldn't take his eyes off her and watches her from a distance for a long time. He feels out of place standing.
She looks back at him in astonishment, not knowing how long he stood for. 
She smiles at Gavin.
Gavin notes that MC’s smile just like her eyes, were pure and comforting as they start filling his vision. 
The rain starts to get heavier and MC shivers. 
Something stirred in Gavin’s heart as he notices this, and kicks a can in frustration then shelters her with his jacket. 
He runs away as MC shouts, “thank you!” 
She didn’t know it was Gavin who gave her his jacket at the time.
MC goes back and is then told by her fellow classmates that the boy she encountered was the “tyrant school bully”,  and “the Underworld Senior Gavin”, and that she should stay away from him. [Tilted Time- Rumours and Secrets]
-
MC finds piano dull to play the same songs over and over again.
MC in her spare time practices and sings to Liszt’s Liebestraum No. 3 (Love Dream) for a talent show.
At the rooftop, Gavin is wounded by a gangster’s knife. A gradually intensifying melody is heard. 
Gavin kicks the gangster boss but then is pursued again. Outnumbered, wounded and losing consciousness due to major blood loss, the gangster boss kicks Gavin off the roof. 
Gavin reaches out, to something- anything. 
A heavy, surging melody sounded, transcending through time and allows Gavin to reflect on his past- to his father, to his late mother, and invokes deep reflection and epiphanies. 
Heavy notes seep into Gavin’s ears as he almost hits rock bottom. He feels his limbs emerging with the wind and awakens his wind evol. 
Gavin is now reborn.
The music continued to play. Gavin ends up humming with a bird. 
He then hears MC’s singing.
MC stops, mesmerised by the ginkgo leaves flying through the wind. The ginkgo leaves falling was her favourite time of the year in high school. This vivid sight is still engraved in her memory after many years.
Gavin vows to protect her for the rest of his life. [Campus Date]
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Gavin saved Minor from bullies. 
Minor also happens to be MC’s outgoing, talkative desk mate who sometimes helped old ladies cross the street. How he managed to hang around Gavin and not get beaten up, nobody knew (except us). He would often copy MC’s homework but never dragged her down with him if he got caught. This was MC’s biggest impression of him. 
During science class, MC cooked noodles for Minor on the Bunsen burner when he was hungry. The recipe was Shrimp flavoured instant noodles, mix two eggs in well, then add a dab of sea salt and black pepper. [S1 Chapter 7-1]
-
Gavin is always at the school gates at 7:30am. Carrying his flat school bag, he orders fish balls at the snack kiosk on the north side of the school. It was the third day in a row that Minor notices this. [Minor’s Memory Book]
Gavin would occasionally travel around on his bicycle. (Pre-debut Sparky??) He says he was good at riding it. [Lost Love Date]
It was hard to find Gavin as he’s rarely at school, so she didn’t see him until 3 days later when MC went to the library at sunset. 
She tries to retrieve “Byron’s Poetry Collection” from the top of a 2-metre shelf, and since Gavin was a head taller, he was able to help her get it. 
He musters up the introduction that he recited many times- but MC quickly thanks him and leaves before he could speak.
Minor notices Gavin watching after MC and that he was SMIL-ING. 
He helps him locate MC and reports that every day after school she would go to the library for afternoon revision, always sitting in the same seat. 
Gavin sat at a corner not far, quietly flipping through textbooks he hated. People who were reading in the library would be driven away because they were scared of him LOL
MC would then leave at 5pm sharp to go back home. 
Gavin commits to walking back 10 metres behind her with Minor every day on forward. [CN Tilted Time Rumours and Secrets] 
-
Gavin saves Minor from bullies again. Minor dedicates himself to be his “bro”. 
He finds out that MC is an honours student, but doesn’t know that she’s the school orchestra leader. [Mystery Wings Event] and [Mark Date] However, he does know that she’s renowned as the “campus belle/ school flower”.
Minor idly mentions that more people were giving MC love letters.
Gavin tells Minor to collect all the people who were planning to confess their love to MC. Minor doesn’t want to be wingman anymore HAHA
Gavin stared those boys down as they trembled with fear. He tells them to take them back and if they scare her, he’ll make them regret it. 
Minor realises Gavin’s feelings for MC. [Minor’s Memory Book] 
-
MC eats from a small stall outside the school gate selling red bean puffs. ($3 for one, $5 for two. What a deal!) 
She also encounters the stall that sells sugar figurines [Gift of Life- Sugar Figurine Call]
MC ate chocolate sticks often at school. It's also a memory of student life for Gavin, as well. [CN 2021 March Sign-In Taste of Happiness]
Students would scramble for the small swing set in the school garden. MC never went at lunch breaks, but she watches the sunset on it after school. Gavin is sometimes nearby. MC never noticed him, but she does however notice the ginkgo leaves dancing in the wind. [Mini House Small Happening- Leisure Time]
-
Gavin isn’t his usual self anymore. He sees MC out in the library everyday and starts reading “5 Years of College Examinations and 3 Years of Sample Questions” (book for colleague entrance examinations).
MC watches a basketball match at school. She calls someone from an away team “dashing” because they won with a dunk. This has been engraved in Gavin’s memory ever since. [Dreamers Date]
Gavin found out that he was very fond of basketball success stories, rushing into the court to try hundreds of shots after. He writes “I will beat you” beside Sakuragi Hanamichi from a Slam Dunk poster alongside “not a step back”.
(Slam Dunk starts out with a boy wanting to play basketball to impress his crush.)
Gavin then injures his head badly :(
He realises that basketball couldn’t help him to protect anything he wanted. He determines that he will do whatever it takes (to “beat” himself”). [Mystery Wings Event]
-
Gavin leans against a tree as he watches MC hurry down the corridor as she clutches a textbook. [Boundary Rumours and Secrets]
MC would eat pocky. Gavin would eat them too. [2021 March Sign-In Moments]
MC faints during a sports meet because she didn’t eat breakfast.
Gavin hurries to carry her to the infirmary. [CN Delightful Search Date]
He leaves bread and milk before she wakes up.
-
MC is on duty during PE class, which happens to be on basketball. 
Minor was careless about his aim and the ball almost hit her in the head. Gavin slams the ball away. [Minor’s Memory Book]
Gavin glares at Minor as MC thanks him.
Minor also “accidentally” pushes MC towards him.
Gavin glares again.
Gavin later is continuously shooting hoops. 
MC returns late at night to clean up the gym but all had been returned neatly in the basket. MC wanted to thank him but couldn’t. [CN Basketball Court Date]
-
There was a school sports competition that they attended. Gavin participated in the 10 lap race and came first by an impressive large measure. [Minor’s Memory Book]
MC participates in the sprint race, too. Gavin is worried about her performance, and if she would faint again. 
Gavin requests Minor to take a photo of her on his phone (which probably ended up as the photo that he carried with him in his early days at special training where the other men teased him about hiding a photo of a girl.) 
Approaching the End of October 
Gavin, Minor and MC are walking home. 
The weather is cold, and Gavin notices MC shivering in the distance. Gavin, conflicted by this, tells Minor to buy MC a hot drink without telling her that it was from him. [CN Tilted Time Rumours and Secrets] 
MC would occasionally spot a hot drink or a carton of strawberry milk in the piano room. [Chapter 31-12]
-
Gavin one day is conflicted by their early exchange, recalling how MC looks startled at the entrance of the library after seeing each other. His spirit depletes, kicking himself (metaphorically) in the corner of the classroom at how he might have scared her. 
Minor rushes in with a pink bandaid from MC for the wound at his mouth. 
He carefully took that bandaid, treating it as if it was his world’s most precious treasure.
This pink bandaid was always taped on his heart and whenever he stepped into the swamp-like darkness of the night, it gave off a faint warmth. [Mystery Wings Event]
-
MC starts to notice Gavin everywhere. At the corners of windows, she would see his figure. At the library, he would help her retrieve books from higher places. She would also see books laid out on his table, but most of the time he would be sleeping. Beneath his overlapping arms, he sees “Byron’s Poetry Collection”. Gavin doesn’t understand the poems, though. 
Lord Byron's "Don Juan" - Canto the Ninth, XVI 
"To be, or not to be?" — Ere I decide I should be glad to know that which is being? 'Tis true — we speculate both far and wide, And deem, because we see, we are all-seeing; For my part, I'll enlist on neither side Until I see both sides for once agreeing; For me, I sometimes think that Life is Death,
-
At the music rehearsal room on the fifth floor, she would see a corner of his shirt in the wind. 
MC thinks Gavin is friendly and slowly lets down her guard. 
At the canteen, he would offer her the last bottle of water. 
She begins smiling at him when they see each other, with the small arcs forming on her lips, soon becoming smiles that made her eyes squint.
-
MC would walk along the Senior hallways and subconsciously stop at a certain classroom- catching the sight of Gavin sleeping. On one particular day, she sees him standing by the window, staring at the sky. 
-
Minor asks Gavin if he could form a band with him. Gavin rejects him. He then asks Gavin if he wanted to join the school’s singing competition. Gavin rejects him again, saying that he didn’t perform for unimportant people or have others tell him how well he could play.
MC plays “Falling Slowly” on the piano. Gavin hearing this, learns to play the guitar. He doesn’t know the name of the song but familiarises himself with the melody. [CN Music and the Past Call]
-
Whenever school let students out early, she would go to Lynn’s Kitchen. MC gets her noodles with clear broth, chopped scallions and a half-boiled egg. Gavin usually gets his spicy noodles with garlic, cilantro, thinly sliced beef.
Gavin remembers her favourite order. 
MC leaves a post-it note at Lynn’s Kitchen, “I might never see you again and I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I miss you”, about a friend who transferred schools. 
Gavin knows she hates people who leave without saying goodbye the most.
Gavin, also in the vicinity near Lynn’s Kitchen, writes a post note.  “Until I met you.” [Mystery Box Game]
He saves Mr Noah’s son from an accident, immediately takes him to the hospital and pays for the medical fees. [Anime]
-
Gavin dismisses rumours of high school romance. 
“If you confessed on the 7th step of the stairway in the corner of the 3rd floor then it’ll succeed, or if you carved your name and another person’s name on the 6th tree in the courtyard at the back then your misunderstandings will be resolved, or if a guy gave the girl he liked the second button of his uniform on graduation day then the two of them will end up happy together.”
At lunch, he hears MC talking about the second button, and upon seeing her yearning face, he raises his head in thought, suddenly couldn’t wait for graduation. He tears off his second button. [Mystery Wings Event]
Gavin is just in love at this point.
-
Gavin sees one of the top students stealing money from a shop outside of school. The shopkeeper doesn’t believe him. 
He stops the student on his way home to hand him back the money. 
MC sees him at the alley then leaves.
Gavin spent all the money on a walkman he wanted for a very long time.
Mr Keller was the only one who believed in him. He said to him, “Since you can’t change what others think of you, you might as well just listen to your heart.” This had a great impact on Gavin. [Campus Date] 
Winter 
In the snowfall, the school allowed additional ten minutes of break time. The class next to MC’s stuffed Minor’s shirt with snowballs.
Gavin thought of helping him with a counterattack but MC had already returned a snowball to the male student who pulled the prank. 
Gavin looks at MC the whole time. [CN Recovery ASMR]
-
MC overheads girls in her class say that Gavin had bullied students for lunch money that morning. 
MC rides her bike back home after studying at the library for her finals. 
MC sees Gavin being handed an envelope full of money at Lynn’s Kitchen in an alleyway. 
She mistook it for him taking protection money. 
-
Summer of June 2011
On a humid afternoon, MC looks outside the window of the classroom in boredom. A boy in a loose-fitting school uniform ran by. She couldn’t make out his face. [S1 Chapter 7-23]
MC begins to distance herself from Gavin. She rushes out of class and goes straight home instead.
Gavin is sad. He broods by the piano room, goes to the library to brood, then stares at the place MC sits to brood some more. 
Minor wonders how he’s able to stare all afternoon at an empty space in the library but sleeps all day during class hours. [Minor’s Memory Book]
Before graduation, Gavin’s father expresses his thoughts for Gavin to join the organisation for special training. Gavin refuses, but his father uses MC to influence him to agree. 
Gavin remembers the panic and timidity in MC’s eyes when she first met him. He recalls that moment was probably the hardest to bear in his life.
Gavin in his short period of freedom writes a letter to MC. He ponders about what to say, thinking about their first encounter, and how she started to distance herself from him. But all he writes is-  
“Saturday 9am, I will be at the school library waiting for you.
-Gavin.”
-
MC attends the flag-raising ceremony and rehearses her speech. She then leaves to study for her exams. 
Meanwhile, Gavin finishes a fight with other boys from school in an alley after they talk inappropriately about MC. [Old Days Date]
Gavin, bloodied and bruised, asks Minor to make another copy of his letter. 
This is the only thing that Gavin had asked Minor to do so of course, he agreed. [Chapter 7-11]
Minor thinks the letter is a symbol of passion and fierce love due to the bloodstains and decides to keep the original. 
He writes “GAVIN” and places it on MC’s desk for her to see the next day. 
(In the Campus Date, the older MC is the one who finds him instead of Minor and treats him to his injuries. She ends up seeing the contents of the letter to find him later on.)
MC mistakes the letter as a threat and throws it away. 
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That Weekend
Gavin sits for 14 hours in the library waiting for MC, scanning the library every now and then.
With a fingertip, he rubs “Byron’s Poetry Collection” and carefully sandwiches a dried and yellowed ginkgo leaf into the book. He suddenly felt a measure of self-deprecation.
He stands up, and leaves, his heart filled with regret that he didn’t give it to her personally. [CN Tilted Time Rumours and Secrets]
After Summer Break- July 
Minor never saw Gavin, and neither did MC. 
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“We met often, but never passed by each other. I remember every moment I saw you in school. Time, location, weather, your expression, your clothes...
-I remember them all.”
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so little note as for the inspiration for this little drabble piece...
My cat Floyd- was feral his first three months of life, and so he is very funny when it comes to excessive affection (even though he’s been with us almost a year now)- and I figured it was how Michael would maybe interact with his S/O
Warning ⚠️: I’m still new at this when it comes to writing about Mikey’s behavior so bear with me if he’s a tad bit OOC.
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Grooming Day~ (RZ!Michael Myers x Reader Oneshot)
It was time again- time to go see if Mikey felt like cooperating today. If I was lucky, he would allow me to talk to him, maybe even groom him a bit...though that would take a hell of a lot of patience on his end. And a lot of unfiltered bravery in mine.
I grabbed the cell keys from my locker (the set of keys that Loomis had given to me begrudgingly after Michael made it clear he seemed to have no intention of killing me...yet) and began to make my way down the depressing corridors to Michael’s too small lodgings.
‘I honestly don’t know how he hasn’t punched through the wall by now, I’m WAY shorter than he is and I even get claustrophobic in there’ I mused as I approached the door.
I paused just long enough to tap out a quiet pattern on the door to let Michael know I was entering his room- none of the other guards could keep up with my patterns so I used that as a code system that I switched out every week, (and I kept doing this no matter how much Loomis scolded me for it.) Slowly pushing the metal slab of steel open I found the behemoth sitting with his back to me at his little desk working on a mask. Michael’s artistic ability never ceased to amaze me, and even though the other staff members constantly talk shit about his masks, I found that if you looked close enough you could find all the small intricate patterns he would paint on the cheeks or forehead of his paper mache creations.
“Michael, it’s me (Y/N),” I slowly crept forward, allowing the man in front of me to process what I was saying before continuing to make my cautious movements to stand beside him- making sure to stand close to his bed. “Nod your head to let me know you understand what I’m saying Mikey.”
The last thing I wanted to do was get in Mike’s personal space without letting him know first- because the last time I made that mistake I ended up with a cracked rib (because I flew into the wall like a rag doll) and very aggravated Michael who had placed his hand in the center of my chest and shoved me away from him- because I was dumb enough to put my hand on him without his permission.
Slowly Michael not only nodded his head; but turned around to look at me his blue eyed gaze stabbing me with its intensity. Even though my interactions with Mikey were harmless for the most part- that didn’t stop his predatory gaze from causing me to momentarily freeze up in fear.
It was only instinct...
“How we doing today big guy?” I said lying my hand in his forearm in a friendly welcome. He looked at where I was touching him then lifted a three fingers to mimic the gentle affection I was giving him on his arm- his long fingers wrapping all the way around my wrist, giving it a testing squeeze.
I was happy to see no one else was really on duty in this corridor today- it would only prove to be a problem if stabby man decided he suddenly wanted to kill me- but other guards was what typically annoyed him on my visits. Their stares and open chatter about he’d never behaved like this with anyone before- it made him feel weak.
So reinforcement in the means of extra bodies wasn’t an option. That just left me and the 6’8” somewhat “gentle giant” by ourselves.
He shifted in his seat and stood up to his full height- Michael did this every time I came to visit him- it was his way of silently reminding me who was in charge here- and it wasn’t me. I knew and understood that very well- I would never be in control of Michael Myers- he tolerated me being around him, and I was grateful to him for even giving me that.
“I want to brush your hair today, maybe shave you a bit- is that ok? I could just keep you company if you don’t want me that close or-“ before I could finish my unintelligible rambling Myers plopped down on his bed and cocked his head to the side as if to say “Well are you going to start or what?”
I gave him a soft smile and climbed onto his bed behind him easing my back to lean against the wall as I began to dampen Michaels mane of dirty blonde knots, and after putting in some oil and leave in conditioner- began gently working through his mats and tangles- ending his first part of grooming by giving his hair a quick trim and putting it in a loose braid.
Now came the harder part- shaving Mikey’s facial hair. He absolutely hated it when I got to close to his jugular- I imagine any strong predator would, it makes him feel too vulnerable.
I scooted my self of the bed and walked around to stand in between Mike’s legs before beginning to speak.
“Hey bud, you did really well with the first part of this, let’s see if you hold still for this. I’ll try to be quick so you won’t be uncomfortable for to long...ok?” I cooed beginning to trim the small beard he’d begun to sprout in the last few weeks.
He twitched slightly as I gently applied the thick shaving cream to his skin making sure to massage it into his jaw line before ceasing to observe my work- and to see how good old Mikey was holding up. I could see how tightly wound up his body was- corded muscle tensing up and shifting underneath his clothes, he was holding himself together as best as he could...but this self restraint wouldn’t hold for long. His knuckles were stark white as he gripped the edge of his bed and I mentally prepared myself for if he were to strike me right now.
I inhaled shakily looking in those blue eyes- their lack of expression making me feel as though I’d been dunked in cold water then left in a icy wasteland. There would be no fire and no fresh change of clothes leaving me doomed to die of hypothermia.
But for a moment I saw something slightly tender, as he read the openly unanswered question in my eyes “can I touch you?”. He suddenly reached out to grab me, and I let out a yelp of surprise...I’d been so caught up in his eyes I didn’t even notice him move, and watched in awe as he guided my hand holding the five blade razor to his jaw.
I let out a relieved huff of air- some would even call the exhalation a very breathy laugh- and quickly got to work on shaving Mike’s face. Especially because he seemed to be in a good mood today, but I still made sure to take my time with near his Adam’s Apple and jugular as to avoid cutting to close or pushing down to hard.
Soon enough the deed was done, as I cleaned off Michael’s face of any excess shavings or shaving cream- and applying some aftershave I simply gawked at the handsome man for a solid minute or two- before I noticed his gaze flit away from mine to shyly pick at some of the sealer he frequently used on his masks that was stuck to his hands.
Because Mikey was clearly in a good mood already, today I decided I could afford to make some rather bold choices such as reaching out to cup Michael’s large head in my small hands and lift his chin to make him look at me- relishing the soft feel of his freshly shaved face against my palms.
“Michael Audrey Myers-I still get the feeling you don’t realize just how handsome you are... you definitely wouldn’t bother wearing those masks if you did.” I said softly, the pads running over his cheekbones.
He looked at me then- his eyes looking a little less glacier like than they usually do. His arms swiftly wrapped around my waist and he allowed himself to flop fully onto his bed, deciding that he was now going to use me like a stuffed animal for the rest of the time that was with him today.
Guess I won’t be moving until shift change...not that I was complaining at all.
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Author’s Note: I had originally posted this fic to a new blog of mine- called gigglemyers (which I have now deleted) but I didn’t like that tumblr kept pulling it out of the tags because my blog was new SOOO I just decided to start using this one again- and let it turn into absolute chaos.
Sound cool? Okay good- because with this much content from different communities this blog is going to turn into a real mess, real quick. Just a heads up! ☺️
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schrijverr · 4 years
Text
I Wrote My Own Deliverance
Chapter 5 out of 10
Alexander Hamilton is reborn as Alex Hambleton. He is desperate not to make the same mistakes twice, but it seems he is stuck in the narrative, unable to get out. Familiar faces pop up all around him as he attempts to keep his previous life a secret and write himself out of the story.
On AO3.
Ships: none
Warnings: none, but tell me if I missed anything or if you want me to tag something!!
~~~~~~~~~~
Washington’s project had been the last one before his finals for this semester, which meant that after the finals week he would be done with this year. His first year so far had been a success, he was on his way, the first steps had been set.
The last few weeks went by in a blur as he worked through stacks of books, typed thousands of words and worked himself to the bone only to collapse at the end of his finals, ready to sleep for the rest of time.
Sadly that was not in the cards and the campus would be closing over the summer break, leaving Alex without a place to stay if he didn’t start looking soon.
It was still playing heavily on his mind when he got a text from an unknown number: Martha wants to celebrate your successes this year. If you are free for dinner this Sunday. - G.Wash
His shoulders felt lighter as he excitedly typed out a reply: Tell her I would love to come over and see her again. A. Ham
He usually didn’t sign off his texts, but he was willing to do as Washington did to make the man more comfortable and it reminded him of times when he signed all letters like that. From love letters to slam dunks in the media to grievous notes to surviving family members.
Sunday crept up on him and soon he found himself in his nicest pair of clothing on the steps of a big house as he nervously knocked at the door. Washington had been cool about his decision, but Mama M had always been scarier and he wasn’t sure what would happen when she saw him again.
The door was opened by a beautiful woman with a kind smile, who asked: “Alexander?”
A smile split his face as he replied: “Mama M, it’s good to see your face.”
Immediately he was pulled through the door as Mama M wrapped him up into her arms, before patting him down and telling him he needed to eat more and was he sleeping alright?
When her assessment of him was done, she turned stern and berated: “Now, young man, what were you thinking? I would love to hear how you came to the conclusion you did and broke Eliza’s heart, she was always such a kind young woman.”
He’d seen it coming, but the words were still like a stab in his chest. He had never really forgiven himself for what he had done, even if Eliza had. The Reynolds Pamphlet was the biggest burden he carried and the reason he wanted to prove himself.
Last time he had proven himself worthy of the History Books, this time he would also prove himself worthy of kindness.
“I messed up, Mama M.” he decided on honesty, “I made a mistake and I’m taking this second chance at life to do better, but yeah, I messed up big time and I honestly have no excuses.”
Mama M gave him one more look, before her features softened again: “That was the best answer you could have given, dear. Now, come in. I made beef and I have some vanilla ice cream, are those still your favorites?”
“You know me so well.” Alex smiled as he followed her farther into her home, looking at the pictures on the walls and the old-fashioned décor.
“I see you passed her grilling.” it was very strange to see Washington, former President of the United States of America and now prestigious Professor, in jeans and a Tshirt.
“It would seem so, sir.” Alex grinned back.
“Good then you can go set the table.” Washington smiled.
The dinner was nice. It felt only weeks ago when he had last sat there, even though it was centuries in a different home, surrounded by different faces of the same people. It was familiar in a new way, how he rambled about his classes and Mama M talked about the law firm she worked at, making Alex ask even more questions.
Slowly the conversation turned to the past and the too short retirement Washington had gotten to enjoy. He sighed: “Ah well, life goes as it goes. And Martha and I still go to Virginia each year over the holiday, so it’s not all for naught.”
“That sounds great, sir.” Alex said, then he mused, “I should be looking for somewhere to stay this holiday too, but everything is just so expensive and finding an extra job is hard. Though, I suppose there are quite a few homeless shelters in the city, I’ll figure something out.”
“You have nowhere to stay?” Mama M said, sounding more distressed than Alex had thought.
He quickly backtracked: “No- well, yes, but also don’t worry about it, Mama M. I didn’t mean to say that, just thinking. I’ll manage, really, nothing new.”
Alex was absolutely not helping his case, but he was panicking, so he cut himself some slack.
“You can stay with us, come to Virginia.” she offered, still slightly horrified, “We don’t mind and I’m not leaving you to fend for yourself out there for an entire summer.”
“That is really kind of you, but, uhm-” he shot a helpless look to Washington, who just held his hands up in surrender as he left Alex on his own, “I have a job,” yeah that worked and wasn’t even a lie, “and I really need it, I can’t take time off and traveling from Virginia to my job each day with public transport is going to be too expensive and takes too much time. I really, really appreciate the offer, Mama M, but I really can’t.”
“And what if you stayed here and had the car.” she countered.
“Mama M, I can’t-”
He hadn’t thought of a good argument, but luckily Washington stepped in: “And how will we get to Virginia then, Martha. It’s very sweet you want to help, but Alexander is an adult, he can make his own choices.”
“You and I both know that’s not true.”
“Hey!”
Alex got ignored by the two others who were having a staring match. Martha raised a brow and said: “He could drive us to Virginia, stayed the weekend then drive back by himself and come to pick us up at the end of our holiday?”
“Martha...” was all Washington said as a grin formed on Mama Ms face. She pleasantly smiled: “So that’s settled then. Alex you’re staying here. We still need a cat sitter for Hammy.”
Swallowing heavily Alex accepted, he knew better than to argue with Mama M when she had made up her mind, especially when Washington agreed, reluctant as it might be. Instead he smiled and sincerely replied: “Really, thank you so much, ma’am. You truly are a wonderful woman. Also, Hammy? Please tell me I don’t have another cat-counterpart, Mama M.”
“I do try, you charmer.” she patted his cheek, before rising to clear the table, “And, cat-you really is a sweetheart, you’ll like him.”
Alex jumped up to help her, trailing after her like a puppy as she switched topics to the latest essay for his blog.
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marmelade-sky · 7 years
Text
Traiterous Heart (In A Heartbeat fanfic)
So, I’ve watched @inaheartbeat-film and holy shit, it’s so adorable, I pretty much melted into my chair. So, ofc, here’s some fanfic, and ofc it’s fucking long because I cannot, for the life of me, write short things. Enjoy :) part ii will be coming soon as well. 
None of the characters belong to me. Also, I made up background characters for storytelling purpose. 
read here on ao3 
prompt me! my fandom list is on my blog. 
EDIT: 
part 2 here
Sherwin’s mommy wears daddy’s heart on a necklace, and his daddy wears mommy’s heart in the pocket of his shirt every day, and Sherwin thinks this is how it’s supposed to be. 
-
Their kindergarten teacher reads them stories about a knight and a princess falling in love, their hearts jumping out of their chests and holding hands after the knight saves his princess from the evil dragon guarding her, and Sherwin listens to their teacher explains that hearts know true love. 
-
When he’s in 1st grade, his auntie gets married to her boyfriend, and Sherwin is very happy when he watches her walk down the isle, her heart jumping up and down on her shoulder while her fiancé’s heart waits anxiously next to him. When they embrace at last, Sherwin sniffles and hides his face in his mommy’s skirt. She smiles down at him and pets his hair. “One day, when you’re all grown up, and your heart has picked a nice girl for you, mommy’s gonna cry at your wedding, too.”, she tells him sweetly, and for some reason, Sherwin’s chest feels a little weird. He isn’t sure why, and as soon as he’s got ice cream at the reception, he forgets about it anyway. 
-
A new Disney movie comes out when Sherwin is in third grade, and he watches it with his best friend Mathilda. It’s about a girl cat and a boy cat who live on the streets and get into adventures and fall in love in the end. After they’ve watched it, Mathilda wants to play as the characters from the movie, and Sherwin happily obliges. However, something bugs him. 
“...Tildy?”, he asks while they’re in the process of throwing all the pillows from the couch to the floor to build a super cool kitty shelter, “...can I be the girl kitty?” 
Tildy tilts her head and considers it. “...sure!”, she says, and reaches into her hair to pull out a hair clip which has a pink butterfly on it. It looks almost exactly like the bow the cat in the movie has on her head. Tildy clips it into Sherman’s hair while he holds still. “Okay.” Tildy steps back and looks at him critically, before her face breaks into a big smile and she claps her hands. 
“Let’s play now!” She dashes off on all fours, meowing, and Sherwin follows her happily. 
When they’ve been playing for a while, Sherwin’s brother comes home with his friend in tow. “What do you have on your head, Sher?!”, Frederick asks, and Sherwin immediately feels his cheeks heat up. He covers the butterfly clip with his hand. 
“Nothing!” 
“You look like a girl!”, Fred teases him and Sherwin feels his bottom lip wobble. 
“Are you a girl, Sher? Sherwina?” Fred’s friend laughes and Sherwin wishes Tildy had never given him her hair clip. “Sherwin is a girl! Sherman is a girl!”, his brother chants now, and Sherwin turns around, hiding the tears spilling down his face. Fred is so mean! 
“Stop teasing him!”, Tildy scolds Fred with her hands on her hips, and they start to fight, because Tildy is afraid of no boy, not even when they’re 12 already. 
Eventually, mommy comes home and breaks the fight up. Tildy has to go home, and Sherwin retreats into his bedroom, avoiding mommy’s eyes. He rips the stupid butterfly clip out of his hair and stuffs it into the bottom drawer of his closet. Stupid butterfly clip. Stupid Fred. 
-
Grandma and Grandpa are visiting, and Sherwin is really happy. Grandma makes the best cookies and Grandpa can carry him around on his back all day. They’re great. 
When Tildy comes over to play, Grandma looks at her and smiles. “Oh, Sher, I didn’t know you had a girlfriend!”, she cooes playfully, and it makes Sherwin feel weird. He can see Tildy’s cheeks flush pink, too.
“She’s not my girlfriend!”, he blusters, but Grandma just smiles and nods knowingly. Tildy is weird to Sherwin afterwards, and he doesn’t know why. 
-
When Sherwin is in middle school, one girl and one boy in his class give their hearts to each other. It doesn’t happen often at their age, but sometimes, it does. Sherwin watches as all the girls crowd around the girl, squealing and giggling, while the boy gets teased by his friends. After it happens, the teacher takes them out of class, and their parents are called. It’s not a bad thing, but it’s rare, and the adults have to make sure the two of them are alright. 
“I wish my heart would choose someone for me!”, Tily sighs in math class afterwards, and Sherwin just looks at her with his eyebrows furrowed. “It’s so romantic!” She clutches her chest and sighs again. Sherwin looks at her critically. He can’t imagine giving his heart to any girl. His heart has never even made a peep, so he thinks he might be safe for some more years.
-
In the middle of 9th grade, a new boy comes to their school. Apparently, he’s transferred from some other school after his family has moved here or something. The teacher introduces him as Jonathan. He has dark, perfect hair and the bluest eyes and he smiles shyly at the class when he’s introduced. His eyes dart over them nervously, and then they meet Sherwin’s. 
Ba-dunk.
Sherwin startles so badly that he almost falls out of his chair. Tildy turns to look at him with eyes like saucers. Sherman clutches his chest and runs out of the classroom. He spends the remainder of the period in the bathroom, locked in a stall, legs tucked under and crying. His heart flutters between his lungs whenever he remembers Jonathan’s blue eyes.
-
He avoids Jonathan at all cost. And yet, he can’t stop thinking about him. 
Jonathan seems to get along with everyone just fine, even though he hasn’t really made a lot of friends yet since he always has his nose in a book. He’s smart, always knows the answers to the teachers’ questions. Whenever he speaks in class, Sherwin has to clutch his chest or cover his ears. His stupid, stupid heart is a traitor.
He wonders if his heart is broken. It’s supposed to beat for a girl like this, not a boy! Sherwin tries forcing himself to look at girls, even at Tildy. But none of them make his heart jump and warm up like Jonathan does. 
-
His aunt throws a birthday party in her backyard which they are invited to, the family, and his aunt’s friends, too. 
There is food and Sherwin gets to play with his aunt’s dog, which is nice. Fred has brought his girlfriend Natasha. Sherman thinks she’s far too nice for Fred. 
His aunt’s friends are funny. There’s a woman with pink hair, a man with tattoos up his arms and two men who Sherman can’t stop looking at for some reason. They seem weirdly... close, and they look nice, and actually really normal compared to his aunt’s other friends. One of them catches Sherman staring, and gives him a little smile. Sherwin realizes there is a heart in front of him on the table, and it happily holds hands with the other man’s. Sherwin blushes violently, and flees into the house where he hides in the kitchen. 
His aunt joins him after a while. She sits down next to him on the floor, where he’s playing with his phone, and cocks her head. 
“My friends thinks he’s accidentally startled you.”
Sherwin blushes again and quickly shakes his head. “No, it’s alright. I’m just... tired.” 
His aunt chuckles. “Do you always sit on the kitchen floor when you’re tired?”
Sherwin just shrugs. 
“...they’re gay.”, his aunt simply says after a while, “...they like each other. Their hearts chose each other.”
It sounds so simple, but suddenly, Sher’s eyes sting and he has to rub at them to make it stop.
“...it happens sometimes, you know?”, his aunt tells him, and reaches out to rub his arm gently. “...nothing wrong with it.” 
Sherwin just nods, but doesn’t look at her. 
She hugs him tightly before she goes outside again. 
-
Sherwin thinks he’s gay, and he has to tell Tildy because if he doesn’t, he might explode. 
He cries when he tells her as they sit in the tree house in Tildy’s backyard, and Tildy just listens. When he’s done talking and looks at her anxiously, she just looks back and says “Oh.”
His heart drops, and his bottom lip starts to wobble again. What if Tildy doesn’t want to be his friend anymore? What if she thinks he’s weird?
But after a moment, she leans over and hugs him, and he melts against her. 
“I’ve always wondered why you weren’t as stupid to me as the other boys.” She wipes his tears away with the sleeve of her shirt.
They spend the rest of the afternoon talking about boys and eating chocolate ice cream in the tree house. 
-
His heart is a traitor, and because it is, it gets ripped in two.
It’s the worst day of Sher’s life, he thinks so when he sits hidden behind the tree in the school yard, and cries over the half of his heart which he cradles in his hands, and the dull pain in his chest. 
Of course Jonathan doesn’t like him back, why should he? And now everyone at school knows he’s gay and not normal. 
Sherwin is missing class, but he doesn’t mind. He’ll never come out of his hiding spot, never ever again. 
When someone sits down next to him, he startles so badly that he almost drops half his heart.
It’s Jonathan, who looks down at him with an uncertain expression. Sherwin thinks Jonathan’s gonna punch him any second now for embarrassing him so badly, and tucks his shoulders up.
Instead, Jonathan sits down next to him, and inches closer. Sherwin is so surprised that he forgets to move away when Jonathan reaches out, holding the other half of his heart. 
He puts them together in Sherwin’s hands. They fit like puzzle pieces. Jonathan closes Sherwin’s fingers around the two broken halves, and they warm up in Sher’s palm. 
There’s some wiggling, and then, when Sherman opens his hands again, his heart smiles up at him excitedly. 
“Here you go.”, Jonathan says quietly, and when Sherwin looks over to him, he sees that he’s smiling. Sher’s heart, of course, swishes out of his hands and against Jonathan’s cheek. 
“OhmygodIamsosorryheartwhatareyoudoingstop!” Sherwin scrambles for his stupid heart, cheeks heating up instantly, and he topples over reaching for it and suddenly he’s on top of Jonathan and oh god. 
His heart makes the most satisfied noise when he looks down at Jonathan, horrified, and Jonathan looks up at him with wide eyes, too.
And then, suddenly...
Ba-dunk.
Sherwin can feel the movement against his own chest, and quickly sits up. Jonathan blushes furiously as his heart beats louder and louder and harder and harder and then-
Sherwin’s heart squeals happily when Jonathan’s heart joins it. 
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naokimizutani-blog · 7 years
Text
My Experiences, Perspective, My Why, My Vision, Point Of View On the World, And What I Believe In...
Hey guys. This is my first blog, so some of you might need a little background story.
I’m currently living in Tokyo with my wife and cat. I teach Transcendental Meditation and living a comfortable life here. It wasn’t always this way, as I’ve had to find my purpose, persevere and overcome my lack of patience…which I’m still working on.
I was born and raised in downtown Los Angeles. Some people say they’re born in a “big city” when they’re actually born in the outskirts “nearby.” I was born in the middle of LA in Korea Town. Not the best of places, but it’s where my parents started when they immigrated from Japan with only a dream and drive to succeed, and eventually raised a family with three kids, a cat and a dog. 
I never thought of myself as a minority, since I didn’t understand that there was even a majority. People were always people to me.
At home, my parents would speak Japanese. My father was from Kagoshima, Kyushu and my mother was from Osaka near Tennnoji. Luckily, I was placed in an environment where I didn’t have a lot of Japanese friends, so outside of the house, I spoke “SoCal” English. I write “SoCal” because later on, when I moved states for college, I found out the rest of America, or even the world, doesn’t speak the same laid back, “nah-man-everything’s-coo” English I spoke back in my hometown.
It also took me 25 years to realize that the Japanese I spoke at home was NOT the Japanese spoken by most people in Japan either. When I first came to Tokyo and heard formal Japanese (“keigo”), I had no clue what was being said. The clerk at the cash register would always look at me funny because I looked Japanese but couldn’t speak it fluently, which is a thing I sometimes still struggle with today. I probably come off as a Korean student who studies Japanese. These days, it seems the less I speak and just do subtle gestures combined with perfectly timed words, the more I fit right in.
Dialects are a real strange thing. I mean, can you imagine? What if you were born in an area with a specific dialect, and you moved out of your hometown only to realize that your dialect made you sound unintelligent to most people. Luckily the dialects I landed with weren’t so bad, but just a food for thought for those of you raising your children.
My parents were natural entrepreneurs. My dad owned an electronic store in Osaka, which is where he met my mother. (A really cute and funny story there that I’ll save for another blog.) It was during the economic bubble in Japan, so it was a good time to open up shop. He then sold it, followed his dreams, and flew to Los Angeles. My mother followed him to America a year later, and they eventually opened up a Japanese restaurant in Cypress, Orange County.
For all of my childhood, from preschool to high school, my parents were running their restaurant business. During my elementary school years, I’d go there after school and hang out in the back room until my mom finished work. I remember there was always a lot of customers. It was probably the fact that no one else in the area offered teriyaki bowls, sushi, udon noodles, yakisoba or chicken karaage. All I’ll say is that the food at home was ALWAYS good. :)
I admired the culture they created with their customers. Everyone seemed to know my parents by name, and even the police and fire fighters would come in and high-five me.
The only time I got in trouble for being there was when I got bored waiting and stuck my hand in a mountain of rice grains. It felt pretty amazing, but I learned never to mess with quality assurance when a customer witnessed me and my mom brought her scolding thunder.
My mother hardly speaks English, even today, and she claims you only need two things to survive in another country. A smile and “thank you.” I guess that’s why I naturally always smile and say thank you.
My parents did a pretty good job in keeping all three kids out of trouble. They kept us busy. Besides regular school, I trained in a basketball league 3-5 days a week with a weekend game. It wasn’t the league for aspiring Michael Jordan’s and Kobe Bryant’s, but the Asian one. I seriously thought I was pretty good at basketball until I met guys twice my size in Jr. High and High School that easily swatted my threes and dunked over my low defensive stance.
You know that feeling when you train every day and night, even though the lights are out at the park, trying to perfect your moves and shots for 10 years, only to find out you were living in a small bubble and there were guys with better genetics and more talent than you? It’s basically what happened to me with karate, piano, and golf as well, even though I won a lot of competitions, received awards, and featured in local newspapers…in my small bubble.
Basketball and karate brings a lot of good memories, though. It wasn’t winning the competitions and being the best that I enjoyed. It was the process of improving myself and enjoying the community.
My Jr. High and High School years were colored with hip hop, breakdancing and DJing. The Fugees, Tribe Called Quest, Tupac, Ice Cube, Rakim, KRS One, EPMD, Wu Tang, Biggie, DJ Qbert, Mix Master Mike, come to mind. It was always for fun, and my homiez always knew how to have a good time. After school, I’d swim at my friend’s pool, go snowboarding, or have bonfires at the beach. Life was good in the SoCal way.
Since my parents were also successful in network marketing as a side business, I remember being taken to large mansions with 13 rooms overlooking the Pacific Ocean. It was sitting in on meetings and events like these where I learned that business was all about building a community, and financial success was just an outcome. It seemed like the business part was only an excuse to get together because 80-90% of the conversation was about family and kids.
My dad took the family on a local trip every weekend, we had a family trip multiple times a year, and visited our relatives in Japan once a year up until I was in high school.
My parents wanted all three kids to at least be able to understand Japanese and speak to our grandparents, so on top of going to weekday school and all the extra curricular activity, we went to Japanese school on Saturdays.
Boy, did I hate it. It wasn’t that it was hard or difficult. I just really didn’t like the mentality and culture at the Japanese school. Being raised in an American culture, especially in the “sunshine” culture of LA where you’re free to express yourself, going to Japanese school felt like the cringe most people feel when they hear about what’s going on in North Korea. Rigid, so many rules, and very top-down hierarchy. Eek.
It made me appreciate the American culture even more. I excelled in American school, but never did my homework for my Japanese school. I made a ton of friends during the weekdays, but got in a fight every Saturday. It was two opposite worlds, and it was stressful. I think I took out all my aggression and frustration in sports and recreation.
Then, the next day of the week were the peaceful days at Sunday school. That’s where I gained exposure to profound questions to life. It naturally made me think deeply, and put the small things into perspective. It set the foundation, the “thesis” for the direction in my life.
College felt sudden to me. I wasn’t prepared AT ALL. My parents were immigrants, so they didn’t know what to do or how to prepare. With my so-so grades, I cruised right into San Diego State University and that’s when I found out college was about drinking and partying. There was literally a free shuttle bus that would take students from college campus to Tijuana to go party. It all felt lame to me, so my attention went inwards to search for truth and what’s real. It made me ask bigger questions and initiated my soul searching.
I ended up transferring to a private college that specialized in traditional oriental medicine. It was my first exposure to acupuncture, herbs and hippies! I was fascinated because it was a new world to me and off the beaten path. After getting certified as a therapist, I continued my soul searching while attending community college.
During that time, one book that grabbed my attention was the “Autobiography of a Yogi” by Paramahansa Yogananda. I visited the Self-Realization Fellowship temples, participated in some classes, and learned some meditation techniques. The Eastern traditions were drawing me closer and closer, and I became fascinated with ancient Vedic knowledge.
One day, somewhere in Pasadena, I was walking home from a rock concert featuring Yellowcard, and saw a poster for the preview of “What The Bleep Do We Know” at a local bookstore. I was fascinated by the concept of quantum physics, mind over matter, and the law of attraction. To be honest, a lot of the speakers seemed too “out there” for my taste, but a Harvard professor caught my attention - Dr. John Hagelin.
I found he was a faculty member of a little known college in the middle of Iowa, called Maharishi University of Management (MUM). I searched for their website, and felt goosebumps. My gut feeling was telling me to go, so I convinced my dad to visit with me and I ended up becoming a student within a few months.
MUM was in a small town located in Fairfield, Iowa. The first reaction from my older sister, Jenny, was “Why are you going to Ohio?” It made me laugh, but I honestly didn’t have a rational, logical reasoning. I just had an intuition.
At MUM, I learned Transcendental Meditation, meditated twice a day with thousands of students, professors and people from many different countries. It was the world I started to glimpse at the oriental medicine school, but multiplied by a thousand.
Fairfield is a town of 10,000 people, where the majority of residents are health conscious artists, entrepreneurs and business owners. Those 5 years taught me what was possible on a community level if enough people agreed to a common lifestyle. My perspective of the world went from a dark, violent world, to a stress-free, peace-loving one.
I majored in Environmental Science, and minored in Vedic Science. Then, my last year was focused on mathematics and physics. I ended up being the assistant for Dr. John Hagelin’s first-year physics course, which was a crash course on fundamental physics and quantum physics.
I then found an opportunity to go to the Maharishi European Research University (MERU) in Vlodrop, Holland. Let me tell you, the feeling of the place made it seem like it was a different world. The closest thing I can relate it to is the Jedi counsel in Star Wars. Yoda was like the TM founder Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, and the Jedi masters were like the many leaders from various countries. Some were from countries I probably wouldn’t be able to point out on a map even if my life depended on it. Kyrgyzstan, Brunei, or Malta anyone? MERU was like an extension of Fairfield, but more organized with a bit more of a corporate feeling to it. Kind of like a miniature United Nations, but without all the greed and corruption. After all, it was the headquarters for the global TM organization.
I was at MERU when Maharishi passed away, and suddenly flew over to India to attend the grand ceremony. Yes, India. Who would have ever thought I would end up in India? It was a major culture shock. My heart and mind were not prepared for the trip. I stayed close with a few friends I made at MERU who became some of my most cherished friends even today.
We backpacked it through rickshaws and cows, hopping on trains, and spending the night at one-star hotels. There’s a reason why people who have gone to India bond instantly. It’s because they’ve experienced something most people have never seen. A few places we visited: New Delhi, Allahabad, Varanasi, Rishikesh, Himalayan villages and a random city in Jabalpur, where we visited palm leaf astrologists, called Brighu Pandits.
After 90 days of travel, spiritual growth, and stomach problems, we said farewell and some of us flew to Phuket, Thailand. It seemed like paradise with coconuts, durian and white sand beaches.
Life took a 360 turn around after my trip, though, when I got back home to my parents place. I was 25, and received a phone call to be invited to help with educational conferences in Japan for the summer. The only reason I was invited was because I graduated from MUM, was Japanese, and made a connection at MERU. I helped set up conferences in Hiroshima, Osaka, Kyoto, and Tokyo, which had some really high profile people.
Remember how I didn’t enjoy my Japanese school? It was basically the same situation, but worse. Go figure! I was too independent minded. I spoke when I wasn’t supposed to. Everything was backwards for me, and I must have upset a lot of “seniors” because I disturbed their way of doing things.
During the storm of cultural clash, I somehow met my wife, Yoko. There were three times in my life when I had a gut feeling of assurance. The first time was finding MUM. The second time was becoming an instructor of TM. The third was finding my wife. I’ve heard when the emotion and intellect integrate, there is a knowingness. It’s called intuition. It’s what I’ve based my life decisions on, and it hasn’t seemed to fail me. (Knock on wood)
From that moment on, my life was spun around, and I ended up marrying Yoko in less than a year of knowing each other. I began living in Japan without any plans or preparation, and really struggled to make ends meet at first. While gaining practical experience in life, such as paying the bills, working, and building a comfortable home, I simultaneously began to meet a lot of clairvoyants and clairaudients. The “SoCal” part of me would say “get-outta-here” but it’s just a normal day for me now. I don’t know why or how I meet them, but it’s just a reoccurring pattern. Must be some kind of pattern in nature.
Being in Japan, for me, has been a process of integrating my heart and mind, the left and right brain. I’ve been to high-end business seminars and personal development seminars. I’ve taught English for GABA, and rated with 5-stars at their Shinagawa office. I worked for a moving company, organic market, a farm, and as an international salesperson for a prototype car manufacturer. I don’t know what happened to all the samurais in Japan, but I think many of their offsprings work in the auto industry now. There’s a reason why Japan makes some of the best cars and technology in the world. There is a culture of being very organized, systematic and detail oriented.
After overworking, nearly breaking my back and having internal breakdowns from losing the "American” part of me, my wife and I had an intuition to become certified TM instructors and we both took a leap of faith. It was five and a half months of intensive meditation, training and bliss.
When Yoko and I graduated, we were ready to take on the world. We felt refreshed, filled with optimism and enthusiasm. Out of the group of teachers who graduated with us, we were the first to open our TM center in Akasaka. From a national average of 3 to 5 clients per month, we had 30 to 50 people sign up starting the first month. We already had a network of friends and clients who trusted us, and we used all our previous experience and knowledge about business to really make it a success. We soon became the most successful instructors in Japan, and became one of the highest performing teachers in the world.
No one grows with easy growth. All successful entrepreneurs experience a “punch in the face” that made them evolve and improve. I’ve experienced a fair share of my own, which had to do with a cloud of jealousy that overshadowed the blue sky above us and someone decided to close our center and take us off the map. It was one of those Japanese ninja tactics. I never received a clear answer as to what happened, but I can guess why. It’s one of those things in life you couldn’t do anything about, and it wasn’t worth fighting about. I decided to suck it up and move on.
We eventually managed to establish an independent TM organization in Japan with the approval from the international organization, and opened up our new TM center in Shinjuku, Japan, which is our current location. In the first 3 years, thousands of people have come through our doors.
We focused on nurturing our community, and created a wealth of loyal friends who referred their friends and family. We even had the privilege to teach an entire company with a hundred fifty employees. We have regular weekend retreat courses in Izu, and regular advanced lectures and courses around Japan. It may not be a place that everyone would be attracted to, but it seems fit for those people who like a positive, young and successful atmosphere, which is the way I like it.
The most difficult thing for me was learning patience to manage a company. Everything was new to me, and I had to learn about administration, finances, marketing, and sales, which I had no idea how to do. I only knew in my gut the direction I needed to take the company, but the process was very slow. It was the grind.
The only way to keep myself from giving up was cultivating my gratitude. The top things you need in creating a successful business is purpose, perseverance and patience. Without it, you’ll end up wanting to take shortcuts that eventually bite you back somewhere down the road.
I’ve been lucky with moments that seemed to be too good to be true. Call it serendipity or synchronicity, but when we were in the deep with our company, something or someone always seemed to come around to bring us back to where we needed to be. It’s like an invisible hand. I believe when you genuinely want to do good for others, and you’re doing your best to make it happen, the opportunity for luck to come into your life increases. I’ve been lucky many times in my life.
At the end of the day, no matter how hard the grind is, it comes down to joy and laughter. My wife thinks I’m the comedian, but she cracks me up multiple times a day. Laughter helps to keep things in perspective and makes the process so much more enjoyable. There are 99 million things to be worried and frustrated about everyday, but there’s always at least 1 thing you can find to laugh about. When I find it hard to find that one thing, it’s usually because I’m in the deep end of being too serious. I like to take a moment to smile at how intensely focused I am. Taking one step back, seeing the big picture, and just appreciating and finding the humor in every situation always helped me get through the darkest hours.
When you cultivate joy and laughter, it radiates and it’s what people are naturally attracted to. Everyone knows life isn’t easy, and if you don’t know, you probably still live with your parents or got a lucky break. When you radiate this joy, people want to be a part of it, and want to share it with others. We’ve been lucky to have a flow of referrals from our dedicated community only through word of mouth.
I have learned that in business your pipeline is your lifeblood and it always needs to be full. You have to constantly create awareness in prospective clients, provide enough information so they can do their own research and become interested, make an offer, deliver a good quality product or service, and follow up. You always need to have the energy flowing in your business. Otherwise, you’re not flowing. You’re not moving. That causes the wheels to stop turning and your company comes to a hault. Keeping your eyes on the whole process while focusing on the details takes some practice.
If done right, you can eventually create 500 true fans. It’s all you really need to create a success business and a comfortable life. For example, if you have 500 people who trust you, and like you and your services, they’re ready to be a part of your events, courses, and activities. Let’s say those 500 people purchase your $30 product or service. That’s $15,000. For most people, that’s a comfortable monthly income. For most businesses, that’s not all that difficult to achieve.
You start to create a culture where people gain value through the community and being together. Just how an organism is made of many microorganism, or how the galaxy is made of many stars and solar systems, your company becomes sustainable with 500 true fans.
Currently, I feel I’m getting ready to move on to another level in life beyond teaching TM and managing a TM center. After teaching hundreds of people and seeing the change in their life, I’m now drawn to helping others build a business that is fueled by their passion and purpose.
I need to do me. I have to keep following my intuition and joy. So I’ve created the Cosmic Entrepreneur program to help people build a mind body startup with 500 true fans. This can be beneficial for people just getting started or business owners who want to learn a more “zen” way of doing things. There really is no need to become a millionaire to live a good life. I’ve done a million and a half, and I can tell you it doesn’t really change anything other than the fact that you can buy more things. You still have to work on you, and I’m sure your wife will happily remind you of that.
Becoming wealthy isn’t a bad thing. However, it’s the unsatisfied small ego that wants to continuously grab a hold of millions and millions of dollars that you can’t even manage. It causes an imbalance of what you desire and what you actually need. This causes strain. All you need is to create a sustainable ecosystem in your business, so that you can enjoy the process called life. A business is always to support your lifestyle, not the other way around.
With the ever-changing field of marketing, online platforms, and social media, etc., it’s effecting the global economy and the large corporations. The media agencies on Wall Street are definitely feeling it.
I believe more and more people will want to become independent. There will be a growing number of house wives who start a home business and create their own independent income. More 14 year olds will become YouTubers and eBay flippers, rather than becoming hamburger flippers. Experienced professionals will become freelancers or contract workers, rather than caging themselves in a corporate environment. There is already a growing number of entrepreneurs and business owners, which only creates more opportunity for investors, angels, and philanthropists.
My intuition also tells me more and more people will want more balance between their happiness, health, and wealth. More people will want less B.S., such as these self-help gurus who don’t have real solution, talent or life experiences. People will steer away from these “make money fast” gurus who have never owned a real business. Those who took shortcuts may do well in the short term, but in the next 5, 10 or 20 years, the market will separate the authentic from the phony.
People will need to stop chasing an unreachable dream and become comfortable with who they really are, not what the media tells them to become. People will naturally enjoy more down time, family time, and being a part of a community. Technology, artificial intelligence, virtual reality and e-sports will change the way we use time, socialize and make purchases.
To be happy and comfortable, you don’t need to be a millionaire, be famous, or live each day to extremes as if it was the last day of your life. We just need to be ourselves, and less influenced by what others think of us. The next 5 or 10 years are going to challenge every one of us to find our purpose, perseverance, and patience.
Do you.
I’ve been in this business for about a decade now. I’ve met a lot of gooneys and some of the most amazing individuals. I’ve had my highs, and I’ve had my lows. I’m fascinated by it. I’m growing fast. I’m learning fast. I’m still a student of this stuff, but I have a service to offer for those of you getting started or want to take things to the next level.
I’m starting a series of talks called “Mind Body Startup with 500 True Fans.” It’s an integration of my new venture Cosmic Entrepreneur and TM Japan.
There is a process I created called Be-Do-Thrive. Be, meaning going within and getting to know yourself. Do, meaning finding a suitable business model that suits your lifestyle. Thrive, meaning utilizing the latest platforms to reach and nuture your 500 fans as quickly as possible. Topics include mind-body health, self-branding, building 500 true fans, latest marketing strategies through social media, and how meditation can help you in the process.
I hold lectures in Tokyo, which include a brief overview, a networking session to meet other participants, some demos, Q&A, and a mini-private session for those interested.
I also offer private sessions, live events and webinars, regular blog posts, videos, and share information on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Snapchat, Line, and Instagram. If you are interested, feel free to connect with me or email [email protected]
I wish you happiness, health and wealth, and most of all, I hope you enjoy the process of becoming more you.
Stay tuned to get the latest updates and insider’s tips.
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lost fics masterlist
okay guys so currently we have 185 messages in our inbox, and no matter how many we try to answer it fills back up very quickly, and it’s getting pretty difficult to manage them all. so i’m going to just copy and paste all of the reader2reader/lost fics we have sitting in our inbox that we can’t locate ourselves. so please feel free to scroll thru this list and if you know of any of the fics these people are looking for you can help us out by sending in a message. i’m putting them under a read more because there is a shit ton. if you do know one of these fics you can copy and paste whichever one you’re talking about into the askbox with the title or author and we’ll do the rest. thanks guys -Madi
edit: i’m going to delete them off of this list as they’re located 
Anonymous said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:hey theres this fic ive been looking for where it starts out with josh helping tyler and tyler tries to kill himself by slitting his wrists in the bath and josh finds him unconscious saying "this isnt funny tyler" over and over. he takes hin to hospital and in the end it turns out that he imagined tyler?? pleeeassse find this!!! i need it!!!! thank u!!!!! 
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Anonymous said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:There's a fic where Tyler is grumpy and is not talking to anyone, so josh starts tying to help and they end up fighting, but everything gets better in the end and Josh kiss tyler... ps: they are on the bus during all the fic
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Anonymous said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:do u know of this one fic where ty is workin the corner and he gets in joshs car and they fuck and josh has a choking kink lol
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Anonymous said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:Ive never left an ask before in my life but there was one fic i started and i lost it and i don't remember the title. Tyler had cancer in it and there was a scene where him and Josh shaved their heads together while tyler sung house of gold. It only had a few hundred hits maybe but it was really cute 
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Anonymous said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:hey dyou guys know the one where josh is trying to force a noise out of Tyler mid-sex
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gottalovejaebumson said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:Hi! Do you know of any joshler fanfic based off of the Heathens behind the scenes where tyler says he asked Josh where would be a good place to stay excepting josh to invite him to stay but instead recommending a hotel and Tyler acting weird for it?
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Anonymous said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:Do you have the fanfic where Tyler goes off to college and he becomes roommates with josh and as it goes on he doesn't want to accept the fact that he's gay and loves josh and towards the end he comes out to his parents??? I tried to give as much detail as I could remember 😂 
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Anonymous said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:hello sorry to bother aging but I've been looking for a story, where Josh moves in the house behind Tyler and finds him swimming in his pool naked. thats all I really remember, thanks :) 
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Anonymous said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:can you help me find a fic where tyler is attending college and meets josh and they become friends? i know it's general but i remember it being 100% platonic and there's a part about tyler driving to school and staying at a hotel and the clerk and him talk and tyler remembers the clerk when he goes back to the hotel
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vi0lent-delights-vi0lent-ends said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:Hi, there's this fic on AO3 I read awhile back that I can't seem to find. I don't really remember much about it except that the author wrote it based off of/inspired by this edit on YouTube called"Joshler • ¿Friends?" Or something like that. I absolutely love that edit and I absolutely loved that fic. Please help me find it! (Sorry in advance for not having a whole lot of info to go by)
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Anonymous said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:i've been trying to find a fic where josh i think gets tyler a tail/buttplug but tells him not to take it out however tyler does and get punished, thanks if you can find it x 
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Anonymous said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:I'm looking for a fic where Tyler lived in this closed society & one day he runs away into the desert where he finds josh after awhile & they like go on this big adventure ?? Sorry I can't remember that much thANK YOU
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Anonymous said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:yo, i lost a fic, i think it was oneshot, where tyler was deppressed but he out of nowhere went to his family, friends etc. and had a good time so josh thought he was getting better, but the next day tyler killed himself or something. help me out, please?
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Anonymous said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:hey I'm looking for this fic where tyler hits josh with his car after swimming at the beach and josh has a husky dog
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Anonymous said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:There was one fic where Josh had daddy issues since his dad left him and when he was younger, around fifteen I think, he slept with an older guy, who stalks him and Tyler when they start dating. Melanie is Josh's best friend too, if thats any help. I'm not sure if this fic was on ao3 or wattpad, sorry for the lack of info!
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Anonymous said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:my friend was telling me about this fic and i have no idea where it's from ??? so tyler plays basketball (i'm not sure if it's high school or collage) and josh attends every one of his games and tyler never notices until the very last game and he spots josh and goes "for josh..." and he dunks at the last second and wins the game. from what she told me, it sounds really good, and i really wanna read it. if you guys can help me out, that'll be great. :) 
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Anonymous said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:hi hi hi. So, I've lost a fic where Josh was in love with Tyler, but Ty loved Jenna. Tyler married Jenna and all, and on the party after the wedding Tyler danced with Josh. But Josh ran away after a while cause he was sad af. I'm sorry, I don't remember more but i really want to find it again. 
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Anonymous said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:Hi I'm searching a fic where one of them has cancer (I think it's Josh) and he made a bucketlist with things he wants to do before he dies. And Tyler wants to help him with the list
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Anonymous said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:Hey, thanks so much for the help! There's a finished fic where Ty has cancer, Josh builds him a tree house before he gets sick, there's this guy named Colin who bullies them in town one day until he finds out Tyler's condition, There's no band and Tyler is eventually given 5months to live. :( Anyway, thanks again! I really love this page!
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Anonymous said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:Hey, do you know a fanfiction where tyler and jenna have a kid but jenna dies at childbirth. Then josh comes in and tyler and josh are neighbours and become good friend. Also josh has 2 cats with like twin names (purposely want to find the fic so i can find out those names) 
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Anonymous said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:hi! I'm looking for a fic where Josh was in love with Tyler, but Tyler got like married with Jenna and all. And Tyler and Josh danced at the wedding but Josh was sad
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Anonymous said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:Hello i'm look for a fic where Josh moves in to the house behind Tyler and Tyler goes swimming in there pool naked. I don't really remember more of it, i cant seem to find it.
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Anonymous said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:there was this one fic where one of them was in prison and imagines the other one there but they break out of prison and find the other one 
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Anonymous said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:Ok there's this fic where tyler comes back to town after he ran away from home after he told his parents he was gay. he's living with melanie martinez after he comes back tho. and josh and him are in love. they go on a camping trip with josh's asshole friends and they leave tyler behind and tyler runs away again? help please!!! 
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Anonymous said to twentyonepilotsficlibrary:I'm looking for this fic. It was about Josh having an eating disorder. I think it was called "fatfatfat." Or something...love this blog btw😊💖 
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King Walrus([email protected]) submitted to twentyonepilotsficlibrary: heyyyyy so first of all, LOVE your blog, second of all, I’m looking for the fic where josh is Zack’s friend from college or something and Zack brings josh to the Joseph’s for some holiday and of course Tyler’s there and they start this kinda secret relationship and no one else knows I know this is really vague but I remember at one moment josh is like in some room on a bed and he has a secret crush on ty and then Tyler comes in and he’s like “I can tell when someone wants me” and they kiss and stuff…. ily, sorry this was so vague but if you could find this fic id owe you my life 🙏
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christinemaries · 7 years
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wednesday
hi Wednesday. I’m lacking creative thought to create an official blog post title for my journal or diary entries. I guess that’s what an online blog is. Doug, a man at Pioneer Village in his 70s maybe, a volunteer and dedicated supporter of the café inspired me a bit today. The book I am reading inspired me too. He said there’s people who have made books just observing what they saw walking up the street everyday. There’s people who have books telling their daily lives and perspectives. This will turn into a book someday, the lady, Julia of the book I’m currently reading, is writing a journal about writer’s block which becomes a book as a result. Wow I used book a lot in that sentence. Doug also inspired me to track my finances and sort them into categories on the computer so I can generate reports. Online banking tells you the amount you spent but it doesn’t tell you what you spent the money on. That’s a smart idea and I feel like rich people use that strategy and know exactly what they are spending their money on. I skipped out on buying coffee today and went straight for a nice back workout. I can really see some lines developing and it makes me feel so good. I’m not doing much cardio anymore but weight lifting and adding in bursts of booging/jumping jacks is sufficing as well as totally acceptable in a gym environment so whenever a good song comes on I tend to dance. I also noticed when a song comes on I’m more interested in whistling or singing the song instead of focusing on lifting. I don’t bring my phone into the gym anymore and I’m not even sure of my ipod’s location at the moment. I made earl grey shortbread at work which tasted very much earl grey, so delicious. They are definitely a milk dunking cookie. I had to rip open the tea bags and pulse them in a spice mixer machine. Mitchell helped spread in the butter and was surprised how good they were. I also made walnut chocolate chip cookies which dough I could not resist. There weren’t too many customers today so I had time to take a long break. Mitchell helped me with my lunch which Bob the supervisor said was an easy way of getting out of packing a lunch. Mitchell just kind of takes over which I’m honestly ok with because he made amazing soft boiled eggs and introduced me to steamed kale. He likes things salty and spicy though which I could do without. Nonetheless it was delicious and we took an hour break outside at the picnic table in the fresh air. He kind of made me feel behind today of course nonintentionally. I just feel like I would like to specialize in something and be succeeding in it. I'm not sure what the subject is, for example his is cooking, and that makes me a bit anxious. I have tapped into a variety of subjects just never had “luck” or the right opportunity yet. I hold faith that the right thing will come along. Today a man asked me what type of tree one was which I did not know but would have liked to. A lady commented to her curious boys that I was knowledgeable about Pioneer Village so that’s nice. I had a deep moment with a squirrel who I’m fairly sure would have come over to the picnic table if I’d been along. He gazed at me for a long time. After work I stopped into the humane society which is on the way home. I’m glad I didn’t go there when I was feeling down. It is an emotional place. First I looked at the cats, some sleeping, some aware of me, some interested in attention and purring and some clearly giving zero fucks at all at another curious set of eyes. There was one cat that was very sweet from behind the bars with a bunny tail. Some of the cats had been in there since June which made me a bit sad. I hope they don’t have to spend longer than a couple months until a suitable loving home comes along. I would love a cat but the unstable income, rowdy dogs and less than ideal location makes for it wishful thinking. I do really love cats and always want to pet them when I see them. Moreso than dogs making me a cat person I suppose. Someday I’d like a country property with a couple cats that are free to roam. I looked at the guinea pigs who were making squeaking sounds and enjoying parsley from one of the workers or volunteers. I saw the bunnies big floppy bunnies. One who was sniffing curiously at me. I went and saw the dogs but the smell was foul and their kennels were small. They were quiet for the most part and probably tired for the day. At least a couple was hanging out with one of them and a lady was at the counter perhaps in an adoption process. There was also budgies. I had to say to myself be right back gotta go cry and I left, hopeful that the business man walking into the society as I was pulling out was going to adopt. I’d love to take the responsibility and find them loving homes or provide them loving homes. Gah. Not worth getting defeated by. I got home to Daddy and we chit chatted a lot about business and nutrition. I showed him pretty smoothie bowls and nutrient packed dinner/lunch bowls. Then I went to the barn to ride Tex. He was a bit of a brat passing a gate off it’s hinges but he enjoyed his carrot. We worked in the grass ring which I love and it was such a great temperature for riding. I got to wear my new vest, the one with the lollipops (which weren’t that tasty!) We worked on bending and I tried riding him in a frame as much as possible. I love a long loose canter as much as I love actually “riding” him and working him at his best. The hackamore is really neat and works just as well as the halter did. For awhile I had an audience. It was a peaceful time and totally keeps me present though I sometimes have previous riding I’ve done flashbacks. His second partboarder, Cindy arrived a bit shocked. I’d only ridden Tex for just over half an hour so handed him to her so she could enjoy a ride too. It was strange hopping off and giving the reins over. I suppose that’s what a lot of the pros do, minus the saddling up process. I enjoy bonding with him, kissing his soft muzzle and petting him. I’m not sure that he enjoys it as much but he tolerates it and likes his treats after. I don't get as close to horses I part board as I do to those I’ve owned or leased. It’s not exactly the same connection but one nonetheless. I drove home and took Chevi on a walk. We discovered a forested meadow nearby the house, the entrance beginning maybe 3 minutes away. It was lovely and I feel lucky to live in forest city. It was a hidden gem of a path and keeps Chevi entertained with new scents. For some of the walk he happily lead though never being on this particular trail before. Parts of it were noisy with a bird who preferred to be in privacy because I did not see what he was. I might be behind financially but creatively, I’m ticking ahead. I’m especially pleased I’m committing to writing and will write some non fictions some day. In fact that’s what I’m doing right now.
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