#and i know he didn't DIE in america but he and benjamin were the only americans in the newcastle crew!!!!

[debtsunpaid]

creepy magic murder cop: i see you, boy. the vanishin' fuckin' hiker, i do declare. you think we din't notice you, tryin'a get picked up back in florida? ( constantine, back in dead in america #1: head west, stay off the interstate, and ... don't stop for anyone, okay? ) creepy magic murder cop: he ain't here to save you, shitheel! he ain't here for nothin' but hisself! your time's over, shadow! you and alla your fuckin' parasites!

shivering and shaking like a wet purse chihuahua convincing myself that this is the ghost of frank north coming home to roost. riding out from cali to help his buddy once again.

[mishapocalyse]

When We Were Young || Part Two

->Anon asked: Reader was in love with Ben before he became soldier boy like as kids and then grew old watching him become and asshole and then “die” and imagines what their life could have been (would be heartbreaking to read but hey let’s get emotional)

Description: The fond memories of growing up with Benjamin Gilman, the man who eventually became America's Greatest Superhero, become a thing of the past. Yet when the reader meets him again...what will happen?

Pairings: Soldier Boy x (Eventual Supe) Reader.

Warnings: Soldier Boy is his own warning, language, sexual content.

Note: I twisted the request a bit and made the reader a supe. This is still the most devastating piece I think I have ever written. This is part two. ITS BEEN 2 YEARS GUYS AND I FINALLY WROTE THE PART 2!!!! Please read at your own risk.

It could have been anyone…

Anyone but him.

“Y/N…” Your breath hitched in your throat as you stared up at none other then the man who you thought was dead. It had been twenty-nine years since Ben’s death, and here he was, standing in front of you.

“Y/N….you…you haven’t aged a bit—”

SLAP.

A harsh slap against his cheek knocked both of you to your senses.

“I thought you were dead!" You hollered, voice cracking through heavy tears, standing in front of the soldier, who only seemed to smile. "Well...I'm here, aren't I?" He laughed, outstretching his arms for you to come in to. Yet, you pointed your finger, stepping back, your feet hitting the edge of another tombstone.

You clenched your fists, your whole body trembling as you pointed your finger and refused to let him embrace you.

"Why are you here now?" Tears welled up in your eyes as you glared at him.

The smile on his face slowly disappeared, and he looked at you with uncertainty and regret.

"I know I'm late, but I wanted to see you again," he said apologetically.

You shook your head, the tears now streaming down your face.

"You should have come back alive! Why are you only here now?"

Ben looked down, his shoulders sunk, guilt creeping onto his features.

"I didn't want to leave you like that…but I had no choice…I didn't think I'd come back like this…I'm sorry."

You looked at him, the tears still overflowing from your eyes.

"Sorry isn't enough…it's been twenty years…why are you just here now? You didn't come to me for all these years!"

Ben looked at you, regret etched on his features.

"I wanted to, I really did…but I couldn't…I'm sorry…I'm here now, though…"

He stretched his arms out again, hoping to embrace you, but you only shook your head and took another step back.

He looked at you helplessly, his arms still outstretched.

"How can I make it up to you?" He asked, desperation in his voice.

"I can't just forgive you because you just came back now," you snapped, your voice shaking with emotion.

"You left me…alone!" You sobbed, the anger; the sadness etching your still youthful features. "I watched the world change without you…"

Ben remained silent, his expression growing more somber as you scolded him.

"You died, Ben. You were supposed to stay dead. You remembered what I told you on the balcony that night…Herogasm…Do you remember?"

You wiped your teary face, feeling frustrated and devastated as you looked at him.

Ben looked at you, his expression full of guilt.

"I remember…I remember everything you said that night…I can't forget…"

"Our fairytale, what we had was over…you left a whole world behind because you were too full of yourself to see who was always there for you…" You began, your sobs and tears still evident on your face. "Twenty-nine years," You repeated. "It's been twenty-nine years…"

Ben stood there, his expression full of guilt as you spoke.

"I know…I'm sorry…I shouldn't have let my ego get in the way," Ben's voice was heavy with regret, his shoulders sinking lower.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered, but you couldn't stop the tears from trickling down your face.

"How can I make you forgive me?" He sounded genuinely unsure, feeling helpless as he looked at you crying while his arms were still outstretched, eager to embrace you.

"I-I'll do anything…I just…I just want you to forgive me…"

Seeing him so earnest and apologetic made your heart ache more. You could see the regret and guilt on his face, but something still made you hesitate to embrace him.

"Anything? You'll do anything?"

"Yes." He quickly nodded, desperate for a chance to make up for his mistakes.

"No matter what you ask, I'll do it," he said firmly, his expression sincere.

"I want…you…to leave." You said without thinking. "Leave, act like you never saw me."

Ben's eyes widened, his expression suddenly filled with shock and heartbreak.

"What? Y-you want me to just leave?"

He looked at you, disbelief and sadness evident in his eyes.

"You want me to just pretend like I never saw you?"

The words hit his chest hard and left him speechless.

"Soldier Boy…Ben…there were people looking for you…I had hopes that you'd come back for me, realize what we had was real. However…you never did. And the first thing you thought to do was show up two decades later thinking I would welcome you back with open arms?" You took a breath, trying to regain your composure. "Do us both a favor, and leave. I think I've had enough heartbreak for the rest of my lifetime."

Ben stared at you, his eyes full of sadness and regret.

"…So, that's it then?" He asked, his voice quiet and solemn.

He looked at you, hoping for even a glimmer of hope…but you remained resolute, staring back at him firmly.

"…You want me to leave. Act like I never existed…right?"

"That's what you've apparently done the last two decades…" You spat.

Ben's expression darkened, realizing he had no room to retort.

He looked down, his shoulders sunken as he stood there, deep in thought for a moment.

"Just tell me one thing," he started, his tone heavy with emotions.

"Did you move on? From me?" He looked away from you, not daring to look you in the eyes, fiddling with his fingers and the fur on his jean jacket. You were silent, whether or not you did move on, the question hung loosely in the air.

"I never did." You whispered, through lidded eyes. "No matter who caught my eye, or approached me over the years. I never slept with anyone, never married, nothing." You turned away from him. It was just like the night he left you...all those years ago.

"I ran after that truck, wanting so badly to tell you I loved you, I wrote letters everyday with no response. I kept your picture on my bedside table, hoping you'd knock on my door. Hoping you would come home. Instead I get a folded up flag, and years of waiting. Life wasted on the one thing I thought would be my eternity." You poked his chest hard with your finger.

Ben grabbed your hand, squeezing it tightly. Not enough to hurt, but enough to at least grab your attention.

"I'm real. I'm here."

You shook your head, feeling your chest tighten, the heartache still too raw to forgive him so easily.

He continued holding your hand firmly in his, his expression pleading as he looked at you.

"I'm here now. What we had doesn't have to be wasted. We can start anew," he tried to reason.

The way he held your hand and pleaded with you, his eyes desperately seeking forgiveness, made your heart waver.

He looked so sincere and apologetic, but you were still unsure.

"How do I know you won't disappear again?" You asked, your voice shaking with lingering emotions.

"I won't, I promise. I won't disappear again," he replied, his voice sincere and urgent.

He held your hand tighter, almost as if he was willing to do anything just to please you.

He looked at you pleadingly, with full regret in his eyes.

"Please give me another chance. Please…I'll prove to you I won't disappear, just please give me another chance," You looked down at the thick snow underneath your feet. The cold was something that made you feel alive, you weren't sure of yourself. But something in your chest forgave him, just this once.

Ben waited in anticipation as you looked down, hoping, waiting, pleading mentally.

When your eyes returned to his, he looked at you expectantly, hoping to see any hint of forgiveness.

His heart raced, hoping you had spared him this chance.

He looked sincere, but you still felt uncertain. Will he really not disappear, or was it another lie?

"I love you, Ben." You choked.

Ben's eyes widened, his whole body relaxed as he heard your words.

He had feared the worst, but never knew how much meaning your words held.

"You do? You forgive me?" He felt his emotions overwhelm him, and his eyes began to shimmer.

"You still love me?" His voice trembled with emotion.

"I've always…love you Ben Gilman."

Ben's chest swelled, his heart full of emotions.

Upon hearing you say those words, his heart felt lighter, but still, tears welled up in his eyes and threatened to spill.

He stepped forward and hesitantly wrapped his arms around you, wanting to pull you into a tight embrace. You pressed your lips against his, a feeling like no other. He tasted like iron, smelled like soot and blood, and felt like heaven.

Ben wrapped his strong arms around you, pulling you against himself, feeling your body against his.

He held you close, feeling your lips press against his.

For a moment the cold seemed to melt away, and the past 29 years seemed to fade into nothing.

The only thing that mattered was Ben having you in his arms again. It felt like the old days.

Of when you were both young.

[amphibious-thing]

Steuben’s Aide-de-Camp, Sub-Inspectors &c.

According to Kapp Steuben gives a list of 21 ‘assistants’ he had. I’ve used this list as a starting point and attempted to identify who each of these men were and in what way they were ‘assistants’ to the Baron. Unfortunately there are still some unanswered questions. If anyone has any insight into who some of these men were or when exactly they worked with the Baron, please add to this post!

Aide-de-Camp

Captain Du Ponceau

Pierre Étienne Du Ponceau, who later changed his name to Peter Stephen Du Ponceau, was Steuben’s first aide. They met through Beaumarchais when the Baron was in Paris. Du Ponceau who was 17 and eager to go on adventure, signed up to be his secretary. Out of the 3 french aides who traveled with Steuben to America, Du Ponceau was the only one who spoke English. On the the 18th of February 1778 congress appointed him a secretary to Steuben with the rank of Captain. Du Ponceau served on his staff helping mostly with translation.

In January 1780 Du Ponceau became ill and was unable to continue with the Baron. He was diagnosed with consumption and told his illness was terminal. In November 1780 believing that he would die anyway he begged the Baron to let him back on his staff. He argued that if he was to die"it was better and more honourable that it should be on the field of battle, than by the slow and painful process of an incurable disease.” Steuben was persuaded by this argument, “Very well,” said he, “you shall follow me, and I hope you will either recover your health or die an honourable death.”

Du Ponceau eventually had to leave Steuben’s staff again in June 1781 when the Baron and his staff was fleeing Simcoe at Point of Fork. Steuben advised him to return to Philadelphia. Believing that they would never see him again Du Ponceau left the group, as they parted the Baron had tears in his eyes. Luckily Du Ponceau did recover in Philadelphia, however he never rejoined Steuben’s staff.

Major Des Epiniers

Augustin François Des Epiniers, was Beaumarchais nephew and had come with Steuben from France. (Lockhart 48-49) Des Epiniers quit Steuben’s staff in autumn 1778, Charles Lee had spread the rumour that Steuben’s credentials were fake. De Epiniers sided with Lee and quit Steuben’s staff. (Lockhart 188) He later regretted this action and tried to reconcile but Steuben would not forgive him. (Lockhart 231-233)

Captain De Pontière

Louis de Pontiere traveled from France with Steuben. After they joined up with the army he left the Barons staff and joined Pulaski’s legion. (Du Ponceau)

Major De L’Enfant

When the Baron first arrived in Boston he befriended Pierre Charles L’Enfant and François Adrien de Romanet. While Romanet chose to return to France, L’Enfant chose to stay and was appointed a aide-de-camp to the Baron. (Lockhart 67) When Steuben’s staff were working on the Blue Book in Phillidephia (Nov 1778-April 1779) L’Enfant was in charge of the Illustrations. (Du Ponceau) In April 1779 L’Enfant was appointed a Captain in the Corps of Engineers.

Colonel Walker

Benjamin Walker, was born in England, but had emigrated to America before the war. At Steuben’s first parade at Valley Forge, confusion started to spread through the troops. Steuben, who at this time did not speak English, was having trouble communicating to the troops what he wanted. Walker stepped forward and offered to interpret. “If, said the Baron, I had seen an angel from Heaven, I should not have been more rejoiced.” Form that moment Walker became Steuben’s aide-de-camp.

On the 25th of January 1782 Walker was transferred to Washington’s staff. Although he was no longer on Steuben’s staff, they remained good friends until the Baron’s death. After the war he apparently lived with the Baron and some other former aides at the Louvre for a short time. Steuben also lived with Walker for some time during a period when he was in financial difficulty.

Major North

William North recalls that the first time he saw Steuben was in early 1778 at a ball in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. However he didn't join the Baron’s staff until over a year later in autumn 1779. (Lockhart 201) While Steuben became very fond of North he was it seems less than impressed by his work ethic. Steuben complained to Walker that North’s “power does not consist in his pen, and that he is as lazy and he is amiable.”

On their way to Yorktown North developed a fever, and when Steuben left Yorktown to meet with Congress in Philadelphia North was too sick to travel. He gave North half of the money he had left. “God bless you, I can do no more” he told North. “Nor could he” writes North “the feelings of friends, in such a moment, and under such circumstances, may possibly be conceived, but not expressed. A journey of three hundred miles was before him, a single piece of gold in his purse. Are other instances necessary to unfold the texture of his heart? how many have I written on my own!”

It’s unclear when North rejoined the Baron, however he seems to have been back with him in September/October 1782. (Lockhart 275) North remained part of Steuben’s staff until the end of the war.

It seems that at some point while he was on Steuben’s staff the two became romantically involved. They lived together for a few years after the war at the Louvre and remained close until the Barons death.

Captain Fairlie

James Fairlie joined Steuben’s staff on the 15th of May 1780. Fairlie was know for his wit. It’s said that he once made Washington fall over with laughter. Fairlie was taken prisoner in June 1781 when Steuben and his staff was fleeing Simcoe at Point of Fork. (Lockhart 269) It’s unclear when Fairlie was exchanged but it must have been before July 1783 when he accompanied Steuben on his trip to Canada. After the war he seems to have lived with the Baron and some other former aides at the Louvre. Steuben and Fairlie later had a falling out.

Colonel William S. Smith

William S. Smith was apparently an aide-de-camp to Steuben but it is unclear when. It must have been before the 6th of July 1781 as that is when he was appointed to Washington’s staff. After the war he lived with the Baron and some other former aides at the Louvre.

Captain Duval

Daniel Duval was it seems at some point aide-de-camp to Steuben when exactly I am not sure.

Major Popham

Major. William Popham was for a time aide-de-camp to Baron Steuben. I’m unsure when exactly Popham was on his staff but it seems that he joined after Ben Walker left in January 1782. On the 27th of Dec 1782 Steuben wrote to Walker “I do not think that Popham is anxious to join me again; at least I have not had a line from him.”

Voluntary Aide-de-Camp

Messrs. Peyton Randolph & Moore

Both Peyton Randolph and Moore were for a short time voluntary aids during the Virginia campaign. I must assume this Peyton Randolph was not the Peyton Randolph who was the first President of the Continental Congress as he died before Steuben even landed in America. While I’m not sure who exactly Mr. Moore was, I have however with a little help from google translate discovered that he may have been Colonel. John Walker’s brother in law. John Walker was married to Elizabeth Moore, which of her bothers this may have been however I don’t know.

Sub-Inspectors

This is not a complete list of sub-inspectors only those who Steuben included on his list of assistants.

Lieutenant Colonel Ternant

Jean Baptiste Ternant was a French officer who had come to America in hopes of gaining employment in the Army, however he had come without any letters of recommendation. He quickly befriended both Steuben and John Laurens, due to their support Ternant was appointed as a civilian sub-inspector without rank. Ternant worked closely with Steuben throughout much of 1778, he was with him during the Battle of Monmouth (Lockhart 162) and helped him with his proposal for the inspector’s office (Lockhart 177). On the 25th of September he was given the rank of Lieutenant Colonel and appointed Inspector for the troops of South Carolina and Georgia.

Major Barber

Francis Barber was appointed a sub-inspector on the 28th of March 1778, alongside Ternant as well as Davis & Brooks. Why Steuben included Barber on his list but not Davis or Brooks is a mystery to me.

Colonel Fleury

Col. François-Louis Teissèdre de Fleury was a French officer who had joined the Continental Army in 1777. (Lockhart 106) He met Steuben at Valley Forge and on the 27th April 1778 he was appointed a Sub-Inspector and was ordered to “attend the Baron Stuben ’till Circumstances shall admit of assigning him a Division of the Army—”

Fleury worked on the Blue Book with Steuben in Nov 1778-April 1779. Fleury’s work on the Blue Book was invaluable to Steuben. The Baron proposed that he should be paid $1000 for his work. In comparison Steuben recommended $4000 for himself, $600 for Walker, $500 for L’Enfant and $400 for Du Ponceau. When Congress refused to pay this Fleury who was in debt considered returning to France. When Steuben explained this to Henry Laurens, he responded “I shall be very sorry for it.” This angered Steuben who retorted “Then I shall go home. I will not stay.” The Baron’s never forgave Henry Laurens for this. He was angry that Henry Laurens would send back officers who had come to defend his country. (Lockhart 198-199) It seems that the group were eventually paid as Du Ponceau comments in is autobiography that he got his $400 “in addition to my pay.”

On the 15th of June 1779 Fleury was appointed commander of a light infantry battalion.

Lieutenant Colonel N. Fish

Nicholas Fish was a appointed a brigade inspector in June 1779. Washington was concerned he would decline due to his health but it seem he accepted the appointment.

Other

Major De Romanai

I’m at a slight loss as to who Major De Romanai was. I wonder if it is possible this is a misreading and this may have been François Adrien de Romanet. When the Baron first arrived in Boston he had befriended two men and requested that they be appointed his aide-de-camp, one of these men was Pierre Charles L’Enfant and the other was François Adrien de Romanet. (Lockhart 67) Romanet however decided to return to France and left Boston on the 12 of March 1778.(Lockhart 307) However Kapp writes that Romanai “accompanied [Steuben] to America, and soon after his arrival was employed in another department;” so perhaps these were two different men.

Colonel Meade

It seems that this was probably Richard Kidder Meade, however it also could have been his bother Everard Meade.

Richard Kidder Meade had left Washington’s staff in October 1780 to return to Virginia and marry Mary Fitzhugh Grymes Randolph. When Arnold invaded Virginia in 1781 Jefferson wrote Meade asking him to join the Baron in defence of their state and that “Such a Gentleman he would propose to consider as of his Family.” Meade “joined the Baron about the time the Enemy left Richmond in order to render him all the aid I could being intimately acquainted with the Country for many miles in the vicinity of the Enemy”. However "on their return down the river I left him to go in pursuit of a residence for a favorite Brother who was driven from his home & obliged to attend to his Wife & a family of little children.”

In April 1781 Steuben wanted a cavalry of 200 to be formed in Virginia. The Council of the State of Virginia advised Tomas Jefferson “to write to Colo. Everard Meade and some other gentlemen of activity and influence requesting them to raise a body of volunteer Cavalry agreeable to the Baron’s request”. Interestingly enough the Baron included Everard in his 1781 will, he requested that his Nephew (who was his heir) to have “three Gold Snuff boxes of the value of Sixty Guineas each—with my picture in the lid of each box” made and given to “His Excellency General Washington, John Walker & Everard Meade Esqrs as a small token of the Friendship of esteem I had for them”.

On the 30th of January 1781, Thomas Jefferson wrote to John Banister, “I inclose you a letter from Colo. Meade, one of Baron Steuben’s aids”. It is unclear if this is Richard Kidder Meade or Everard Meade. One of the brothers was also apparently with the Baron at Point of Fork as he wrote to General Harrison on the 13th of December 1781 that “Colonel Meade” would bear witness of the “propriety of my conduct at the Point of Fork.”

Major Galvan, Major Villefranche & Lieutenant Colonel De La Lanyanté

Kapp writes that Galvan, Villefranche and De La Lanyanté “served as engineers under Steuben in the trenches of Yorktown.” While Galvan was at Yorktown and Villefranche was an engineer, I’m unsure if Galvan was an engineer and I cant place Villefranche at Yorktown. De La Lanyanté I cant place at all.

William Galvan “acted at the Seige of York as Division Inspector and performed the duty of Major of the Trenches to Major Genl Baron de Steuben.”

Jean-Louis-Ambroise, chevalier de Villefranche de Genton, was sent with Steuben to Canada in 1783.

Besides Kapp’s statement that De La Lanyanté served as an engineer under Steuben at Yorktown and Steuben’s inclusion of him on his list I can find no information about him.