#and i hope tmz burns to the ground

[yatgb]

I hope all the directioners are taking itbeasy tonight and i also hope liam's family is doing okay and i also hope TMZ burns to the ground forever and ever

[bluephantasia]

liam payne turned out to be a terrible person, but posting photos of parts of his DEAD BODY to “prove it was him” is slimey, disgusting, and downright shameful. fuck tmz and i genuinely hope that entire company burns to the ground

[utterlyhopeful-fics]

Love on the Line - Part 2

I hope y’all are ready for the heartache because this chapter absolutely destroyed me. Please read the warnings because this chapter does deal with quite a few heavy issues along with ripping your heart to shreds. Let me know if you’d be interested in another part? Thank you all for the read! Part 1 HERE

Masterlist

Henry Cavill x Reader

Word Count: 2360

Warnings: heartbreak, break-up, language, mention of self harm, pure unadulterated angst 

******************

Today was a day where she just wanted solace though the impending doom of forethought clouded her every sense. She wanted to blink and will the world around her to magically disappear enjoying her descent into darkness. Y/N sought to feel anything at all but alas she felt wholly empty. It was slowly but surely killing her, picking her apart piece by fucking piece. She hadn’t had the chance to speak with him, hear his once soothing voice on the other end of the phone. Just nonchalant texts messages brimmed with no meaningful purpose. But is that what she wanted the entire time? Possibly so. 

That’s what made her friends poke into her business, snoop until they found an answer worthy of their liking. Y/N knew how to play their games and say whatever it took to make them stop their line of questioning. It was her equivalent of mourning the future she mapped out. Her phone chimed alerting Y/N of its annoying presence. ‘Catching a connecting flight out of LAX to meet with Danny and, finally heading home baby! ETA tomorrow late afternoon.’

Great, there was no stopping his arrival now that he was officially coming home.

She had so many grand plans in her dreams, promises of a life she now questioned if she ever wanted at all. The blade felt cool against her skin, she begged for the sweet release for the air latched in her lungs to be set free, but no such luck today. Old habits die hard. Blood dribbled onto the marble sink as relief flooded her system, endorphins pumping as her vision momentarily darkened. For a second, all was calm and she relished in the fleeting feeling. Y/N finally released the breath scratching at her lungs. She was anxious and just wanted to sleep away the day while morph into her sheets.

Curiously, she didn’t remember when she became exhausted. She didn’t remember when exhausted was no longer exhausted, and it just was. The tiredness seeped in her bones and she accepted this state of being with utter apathy. Y/N frowned down at the piece of jewelry that once sparked joy, reminiscing on the night Henry proposed. Now the ring on her finger was beginning to weigh too much for her to fathom. So, Y/N did what was best and sadly slide the diamond off her ring finger and back into its elegant box.

~The Next Day~

             Y/N paced their chic living room floor awaiting his and Kal’s arrival. Mentally prepping herself over the strong points to hit in their conversation trying to build her courage and morale. This would be easier if I wasn’t in love with him. Just then, she heard the sound of the garage door open and an engine decease. It was now or never. Realistically, Y/N knew she couldn’t keep a straight face for very long but at the same moment so ached for his touch, for his gentle kiss, and for one more unscathed instance. She inhaled deeply and soothed her nerves to the best of her ability. The front door opened, the pitter patter of paws hit the ground first, greeting her with overwhelming enthusiasm. Y/N kneeled to Kal’s level letting the dog lick her cheek powerless to the loyal Akita before her.

“Darling, where you are?” His voice echoed through the foyer in search of Y/N as he found her with Kal. He rushed towards her, wrapping his arms in a warm embrace and brought her close. He buried himself in the column of her neck kissing a trail of the gentle kisses and inhaled. Everything about this woman lit his insides of fire and now she was tangible, a reality he was more than happy to clasp on to. Hands finding his tamed locks, Y/N intertwined her fingers pulling him in leaving no space between their bodies. Stay strong. Stay focused Y/N.

“Is it even possible to miss one’s smell?”

“You’re home.”

Y/N stepped out of his warmth missing the fleeting scowl etched on Henry’s face.

“Can I get you anything to drink; Scotch possibly? I’m dying for a drink.”

Henry couldn’t put his finger on it but something didn’t feel right. As she reached the wet bar, he took in her appearance. She had lost weight; her bones were noticeable now. She turned his direction with glasses in hand. Her cheekbones were too pronounced, she quite frankly looked …fragile?

“Here you go, babe. Welcome home.”

His hand clasped over hers holding her stare before retrieving the glass.

The liquor deliciously burned down her throat. He refused to bite his tongue any longer; “Y/N, is something the matter?”

She ogled the bronzed liquid in her glass before clearing her throat; “Yes.” Henry’s eyebrows raised in concern reaching out to her as Y/N took a step out of reach.

He barely heard her before a whimper left her; “Please don’t touch me, Hen.”

Bewilderment override his body leaving his brain in the dust.

“Love, what’s wro—” Before he could finish, his phone beeped notifying him of an incoming message. He reached in his back pocket wanting to silence the damned thing before reading who it was from.

‘Anya: Make it home safe? I’m lying in bed alone and can’t help but think of your taste. See you soon?’

Y/N watched in disbelief at his attention pulled elsewhere. So much so that she didn’t comprehend the glass shattering onto the tile floor and blood sliding down her wrist. She clenched her fist in blinded anger reminding herself of the pain as the shard dug deeper into her flesh.

“I’m standing right in front of you. I always have and yet you refuse to even acknowledge me. I can’t even maintain your attention god forbid you put your phone down for five minutes. How do you think that feels when the one person you’re in love with can’t even give you the time of day?”

He drank in her disheveled appearance, her blotted checks streaked with tear stains, her messy hair from constantly running her fingers through, and lastly, the hurt that lay just behind her blue irises. He’d never hated himself more than in this moment. Ever so gently he leaned closer into her frame craving her closeness but she remained a step further. She ducked away in disgust swatting his hand from reaching her face. Henry attempted to cover up the shock from overtaking his chiseled features. He’d never seen her so on fire in their entirety as a couple.

“I said don’t fucking touch me. You sicken me. Is that what you wanted to hear, huh? Do you think it’s fun being invisible to the one person I thought had my back?” She refused to hold back her emotions anymore allowing the storm to overflow.

“YN... please let me...”

“What? Let you explain? What possible bullshit are you about to spew in hopes of changing my mind?”

“I love you. Don’t ever underestimate my feelings for you.” 

Sighing, she inhaled a much-needed breath of air before composing herself, at least to the best of her abilities; “Henry. Stop. Please, I’m begging you. My chest feels as if it’s been pried open and my heart ripped from my body. My blood boils through my veins yet is tinged with ice. You’re breaking me into a million little pieces. You must see what you’re doing to me.”

Melancholy dripped from her voice as he silently berated himself, shaking his head in defeat. His eyes glazed over slightly in an attempt to find his own composure, to quill the manic pounding residing in his chest. If he were being honest, it had been quite some time since he last looked at Y/N. Genuinely looked at her. No facetime, no phone calls. And she was right, she was ripping at the seams. How had he not noticed? The chilled atmosphere left the pair suffocating, grasping onto their last truth of reality as quietness laid between them. 

“You pride yourself on your so-called honesty. So, now’s your time! ...are the rumors true?”

Henry’s eyes immediately averted to the cement ground below wishing to buy himself another second of borrowed time. But with no such luck, he let out a shaky breath he hadn’t realize had been lodged in his lungs. 

“Yes. But I didn’t sleep with her.” 

YN bit her lip to keep a wail from slipping out making her insides inflate with sadness. She knew it was all too good to be true. Her stomach churned at the mere mention of her name.

She sniffled trying to look anywhere but at the handsome god displayed in front of her but to no avail met his calm blue eyes awaiting hers. 

“Okay.”

“Okay? That’s all you have to say?” 

Y/N’s fight was fast depleting and she wasn’t sure how long her energy would remain before perching upon empty. If she was being honest, all she wanted to do was bury her head into his warm chest willing his past mistakes away and reuniting them with their life...the life they built together. But that was no longer an option she could look forward to any longer. He made damn sure of that before returning home from filming. And worse, TMZ had the pictures to rub salt in her fresh wounds. 

Her silence was killing him increasing his anxiety foolproof. 

“Please Y/N say something, anything! I deserve your wrath and anger. A shout would be better than nothing.”

But to his surprise, she remained frozen unable to show what was running through her mind. 

“There’s nothing left to say. You made a choice and with that said choice allowed for the entirety of our relationship to simply vanish. I deserve wholesome and unconditional love, not some half-ass attempt. It must’ve been so lonely in Budapest for you that you just had to fuck somebody else. I totally get it.” Her sarcastic tone finally freeing her most inner thoughts.  

“I didn’t have sex with her! Woman, listen to the words I’m saying.”

“Don’t you dare patronize me. Look me in the fucking eyes Henry William Dalgliesh Cavill and tell me what happened.”

“A silly mistake. We had just wrapped and headed out to a local pub down the way. It had this amazing terrace and all I could think is about how much you would’ve enjoyed the view, the architecture of the city. Drinks led to shots and before I knew it, someone pushed me into a bathroom stall. I remember hearing the lock click, Anya tugging at my belt, and not having the restraint to push her away. I closed my eyes and pictured you, I swear it. God woman, I missed you. It wasn’t until I came that I realized it wasn’t you.”

“Did you ever even maybe think about how I get being hundreds of miles away from you? That maybe I was just as lonely. But guess what? I didn’t go to a bar and stick my tongue down anyone’s throat. Jesus, Henry, I’m not even sure I even crossed your mind. Do tell me though; are you apologizing because you got caught or because you feel bad?”

His question left her stunned. This wasn’t how he saw this scenario playing out in his head. Y/N glanced down at the beautiful ring residing on her delicate finger. The one she had forced herself to put on that morning. The diamond ring she once so blindly admired now felt like a ton of bricks forcing her stomach to stir with resentment. 

“Filming was chaotic and I just slipped. A fucking lapse in judgement. I’m an asshole Y/N but you must know how much I regret causing you any amount of pain. 

“Temptation is an impossible beast to tame. But worry no more for you are a free man now.” 

“That isn’t what I want.”

She smirked at him before letting out a loud huff; “Sometimes we don’t always get what we want. In this case, we’re both losers.” 

Henry shook his head in disagreement unable to process her words before she spoke again; “Perhaps, somewhere, someday, at a less miserable time, we may see each other again.”

“Don’t say that my love. Please give me another chance. We can work through this; I know deep in my bones there is no one else for me in this life.”

“To what Henry? To make a fool out of me once more? To show the world your power of forgiveness?”

“Be rational Y/N. I asked you to fucking marry me for god’s sake. I want you as my wife, to be by my side!”

Her throat dried at his words of admittance. It was still her dream too. When she closed her eyes YN pictured him in a wonderfully fitted tux waiting for her but now he had trampled her trust.

“I, I want to be the last person who ever kisses you… Please, hear me out. I know that sounds weird, like some sort of death threat.” Henry continued to stumble in attempt to find the words his brain was spewing; “This is it for me, darling.”

His words sunk into her encapsulating her very presence. It was everything and more she had craved to hear. But now his pretty words were tinged with guilt and cheapness leaving a bitter taste on her tongue.

“You’re not in love with me, not really, you just love the way I made you feel. And you’ve definitely proved that others can make you feel the same just as easily. Stop playing the victim. You did a shit thing and it kinda makes you a shit person now. The sooner you accept that the easier it will be to comes to terms with your new reality. The one without me in it.”

Before Henry fully processed her words, he suddenly felt an object being placed into his right palm. Her slender fingers atop his before throwing him a pitiful frown. Slowly prying his hand open, the glimmer of the engagement ring laid desolate as blood bombarded his eardrums. After all, how often do we get a second chance?

 -------

Tags: @maggiemoo1892​ @thedeadhearted​ @giveusbackourbucky​ @elinalfrida​ @thereisa8ella​ @henry-cavlll​ @onlyhenrys​ @threeminutesoflife​ @princess-of-riviaa​ @omgkatinka​ @littlefreya​

[kenzieam]

Us This Way - Oneshot

Rating: M

Warnings: Angst, heartache, some language ****TRIGGER WARNINGS****

Word Count: 4417

Tags: @jewels2876​  @moonbeambucky​  @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123​  @iammarylastar​ @captstefanbrandt​  @badassbaker​  @pinknerdpanda​  @oliviastan17​ @mizzzpink​​

***************************************************************

Okay, so this frickin’ song gets me every time.

Kudos to the beautiful Lady Gaga for this hauntingly beautiful gem.

**************************************************************

Lev swallowed past the lump in her throat, skimmed the note in her hand one last time. She’d wrote and rewrote the words so often in her head she knew them by heart, but it didn’t make reading them any easier.

James,

By the time you sober up and read this, I’ll be gone.

I can’t do this anymore, the drinking, the fights, the lies.

You aren’t the same man I fell in love with, and I can’t say anymore that I’m the same girl you knew either.

When we started this journey, you told me things would never change; that it would be just the two of us, against the world, travelling and sharing your music and voice and I, naively I guess, believed it.

But everything is different. You’re drunk all the time, drinking to excess and its only going to be a matter of time before your followers see it too, there’s already gossip on the fan sites about your behaviour.

And I’m not leaving because of that, I could deal with the alcohol if it weren’t for the craziness that comes with it.

These women aren’t here for you, they’re here for the idea of you, the Rockstar, and I can’t watch you take them into your hotel rooms anymore, I can’t hear you through the walls with them.

I deserve better and, to be honest, so do you but I can’t help you anymore.

God knows I’ve tried.

I hope one day you find peace and closure from whatever haunts you so badly and discover your voice again.

I love you; I always have.

I always will,

Levi

A tear burned hot down her cheek, but she wiped it away absently, clearing her throat. She’d already wasted so many tears, she couldn’t spare any more.

Laying the note silently on the bedside table, Lev took one last lingering glance at the man, her former lover and friend, current rockstar touring and conquering the world, now passed out face down in the hotel bed, back scratched and red from his latest groupie foursome she’d chased out just minutes ago, two or three empty liquor bottles visible among the tangled sheets, then turned and left the room.

*******************************************************************************

A throbbing headache dragged him from oblivion later and, for a time, James just lay there, eyes half-open, trying to piece together the last hours.

He remembered two, or was it three? Groupies: giggling girls with fake tits and trout pouts, wearing little more than ace bandages and laughing at his every word like he was the most charming asshole on Earth and everything that fell out of his mouth was pure gold.

Lev had never put up with his shit. She’d always set him straight with a few well-chosen words, a sharp glare with her hypnotizing violet eyes.

Come to think of it, where was Lev? Usually she was prodding him awake by now, pushing coffee into his face, talking about getting up, getting showered and getting on the damn bus.

Bottles clinked as he moved, struggled in the tangled sheet to push himself upright. His back stung and faint memories surfaced, one of the harpies scratching him, moaning theatrically as he fucked her, wishing it were Levi beneath him still instead of this random stranger.

God, he hoped he’d worn a condom, not that it stopped theses psychos; Christ, every week there was a new accusation, a new girl stepping forward claiming he’d impregnated her.

Thank fuck for his lawyer, Sam Wilson; the man was a gem, with the retainer bills to prove it.

“Lev?” He croaked, wincing as fresh pain shot through his skull.

No answer.

“Lev!” He chanced a shout, growling and grabbing his throbbing temples. “Fuck, where are you?”  

He turned his head, squinting before freezing as his glare landed on the letter.

***********************************************************************************

“So, you just left, huh?” Steve asked, swirling the amber liquid in his glass, and staring at it contemplatively.

“Yeah, same as you.” There was a hint of venom in Lev’s voice and the blond man smirked.

“Yeah, same as me. Got tired of the shit.”

“Everyday.”

Steve sighed, staring out at nothing, thoughts a thousand miles away. “Remember when we first started out?”

“You, me and James in that old van? Driving from bar to bar and playing for peanuts?”

“You’d go up on stage when he reached for you, join him for a few songs?”

Lev sighed sadly. “Long time ago, man. We were just fucking kids.”

“Yep, but you two? Timeless. I remember when I first saw you. First day of grade three in Ms. Hawthorn’s class; James elbowed me and said, ‘that’s the girl I’m going to marry’.”

“He did not!” Lev fought a smile, she’d heard this story so many times, her reaction varying from honest disbelief to warm-hearted nostalgia depending on how fresh her latest pain was.

“He did.” Steve replied, smiling fondly. “Couldn’t take his eyes off you.”

“Yeah, well… something else has caught his eye now.”

“You can’t save him, Lev. He has to want to save himself.”

“I know… it just hurts.”

“I know.” Steve murmured quietly. “I know.”

*****************************************************************************************

‘Rockstar James Barnes’ newest run-in with the paparazzi, next on TMZ’

Lev groaned and turned off the TV, throwing the remote onto the scarred coffee table.      

Obviously, he was perfectly capable of carrying on with his shenanigans without her, not that her pleas for him to stop had ever fallen on anything but deaf ears.

She glanced at her cell phone, then cursed and purposefully looked away. Every day for years she’d seen his name come up on her display, multiple times a day, through the night and she’d come to expect it.

The calls after she’d left had come heavy and hot, barely a pause in between except for increasingly abusive texts and voicemail messages. When they had changed to broken, mournful, pleading messages she’d thrown her cell away, smashed it for good measure.

It was just habit to look for his name now, a useless throwback.

She had left a month ago and James’ spiral of self-destruction was becoming a nightly news story.

She didn’t envy Pepper, his long-suffering publicist, nor Nick, the rep from Fury Records; word was both were close to dropping him soon, if he didn’t get his act together.

Cursing herself afresh, Lev reached for the remote and flicked the set back on. She was a fucked up as him sometimes, intent on making it hurt.

James’ face appeared on the screen and Lev was shocked at how haggard he now looked, pale and drawn. His hair was lanky, in his face, clothes wrinkled. As the paparazzi swarmed him, leaving the latest club, he glanced up at the cameras and Lev was struck dumb by the utter misery on his face. His eyes were red-rimmed, either from sleep problems (something he’d had more than his share of in the time Lev had known him) or he’d taken up hard drugs.

The pap screamed questions at him, jostling each other and him as he struggled through the mob, the slightly shell-shocked bottle-blonde woman on his arm being all but dragged behind. What security James hadn’t chased off was all but overwhelmed by the reporters and fans, light flashes strobing the scene.

“Just leave me the FUCK alone!” James roared, pushing hard at one spectacled paparazzi, knocking him to the ground and only inflaming the mob more.

Lev felt a surge of fear, mixed in with a healthy dose of rage at the sight. Someone could easily get hurt tonight, lines could be crossed that would never be forgotten. James was juggling with the remains of his career right now and he had the shakes.

“Are the rumors true?” One pap screeched.

“Where’s Lev?” Another yelled and Lev winced. They were still asking him, four weeks into her departure.

“Is the picture of you snorting a white substance outside The Down Low real?”    

Shit.

James didn’t answer beyond a wild-eyed sneer then he was scrambling into a large black SUV, the confused milling of his few remaining security guards telling Lev they hadn’t expected him to drive; then the SUV was screeching away, paparazzi and security scattering like flies, their shouted questions turning into screams of shock and fear and Lev clapped her hands to her mouth, biting back her own scream.

He had totally gone crazy; without Lev there to anchor him, he was dangerously adrift.

The clip ended and the TMZ crew started rehashing it, some expressing sympathy for James and others outright condemning him for losing his shit so badly.

“Does anyone know where she went?” Harvey asked, sipping on his trademark straw.

“Who, Levi Riel?” One the lackeys frowned in confusion.

“Who else?” Harvey laughed. “I mean, James Barnes was a wild man before but now he’s completely off the rails. Something’s happened there but his camp won’t comment. Any luck on contacting Lev herself?”

They’d tried, endlessly, until Lev had smashed her phone and gotten a new number; so far, that hadn’t been leaked but the pap was sneaky and resourceful, Lev had been in the spotlight long enough as James’ gal Friday to know how it worked and she didn’t expect to remain incommunicado forever. Besides, she was already fielding calls from other musicians, hearing she was free and desperate for her services. So far, she’d said no, it was still too raw for her to go back into the industry, but her savings wouldn’t last forever.

Would she be alright? Running into James at an award show somewhere, contracted to another singer, seeing him with some other woman (not that that was in any way new), or perhaps worse, doing just fine now without her? How long would he last like this? There were plenty of examples out there of musicians who’d self-destructed, died by suicide or misadventure, and if James had been spotted snorting white powder already, he was well on his way to joining the club.

Her phone rang and Lev almost dropped her glass, despite staring at the damned thing almost compulsively looking for James’ name, the sound still made her heart race.

“Hey, Steve.”

“You saw that?” His voice was resigned. “TMZ?”

“Yeah, you?”

“Every miserable second.”

“You going to tell me to go back to him?” A part of Lev wanted Steve to say no, but a larger part wanted to hear yes.

“No. I was going to tell you to make sure you stay the hell away. This isn’t your mess anymore, hon.”

“But… my leaving-”

“Didn’t do anything, he was already circling the drain, you were right to get yourself out when you did.”

Lev blinked back tears, wiped them angrily away. “When did it all go so wrong, Steve?”

He exhaled sadly. “Who knows? After Clint overdosed?”

“After my miscarriage?” Lev whispered, the memory of James holding her, crying with her on that hotel bathroom floor, blood smeared on her inner thighs rushed back into her mind’s eye.

They… he’d wanted a child so badly, back in the good years, when they’d lay sated and exhausted in bed together, murmuring softly before sleep claimed them both.

“I want a baby,” he’d whisper, eyes searching hers. “You’d be such a good mama.”

“Not right now,” she’d always answer, although the thought of growing round with his seed sparked heat low in her belly. “It’s not the right time, you’ve had five consecutive number one hits, you’re on top of the world.”

“We are.” He’d reply, reaching up and stroking his calloused thumb over her bottom lip.

“Maybe.” Steve replied softly. “It’s still not your fault, Lev.”

She couldn’t hear anymore; the memories were rushing back too hard and too fast. “Goodbye, Steve.”

********************************************************************************

A part of her expected the call, and she reached for the phone, half-awake, when it rang sometime after two a few nights later.

“Miss Riel?” A clipped, professional voice. “This is Dr. Keening from the UCLA Medical Center, I'm calling about your husband, James.”

********************************************************************************

Lev wouldn’t let herself examine the reasons why she dropped everything and booked the next flight to Los Angeles, maybe it was seeing him so distraught on TV, maybe it was thinking about their past; the way he’d held her so tightly, so lovingly, even as he cried so hard with her that night, the realization so fresh that their child, almost too early to even be called a baby yet, had left them already.

She gave the Uber driver directions then leaned back in the seat, staring out the window without really seeing and, all too soon, the car was pulling to a stop in front of the hospital.

The sterile smell inside made her stomach roil and she almost turned around and left, then squared her shoulders and pressed the elevator button for the right floor.

A nurse directed her to the correct room then had the grace to leave her alone. Lev milled around the hallway for a beat, chewing on her lip and struggling to find a reason, any reason, why she should walk through that door.

This…. He wasn’t her problem anymore, she’d left.

But they could both use some closure.

He was asleep when she entered the room but before she could turn around and leave his eyelids fluttered. He’d always been able to sense when she was near, and that connection apparently hadn’t faded in their separation. The instant his gaze landed on her the cloudiness vanished and a desperate, clinging hope took its place.

“Lev?” His voice cracked with exhaustion, his hand shaking as he reached for her and Lev was surprised by how hard it was to not step forwards and take it, smooth back the dark hair plastered on his sweaty forehead. He’d lost weight, dark rings under his eyes, the muscles that always flexed so deliciously as he moved fading away.

She squeezed her fist around the handle of her bag and waited, not moving forwards.

His fingers twitched, confusion joining the hope. “Levi?” His voice was plaintive.

“What are you doing, James?” She clipped.

“What?” His brow furrowed, his breathing beginning to speed up. Finally, he dropped his hand, pulling it back into his lap, fingers clenching.

“Acting like this? Getting caught by the gossip rags snorting coke? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

He’d obviously not expected to be chastised and wasn’t that the heart of the issue; he’d always gotten his way before, the coddled rockstar, no one calling him out with any degree of seriousness, no one but Lev anyway and she’d always caved before laying out any real boundaries, never done something so extreme as leave before.

Was that why she’d come back then, because she felt responsible for this?

The furrow in his brow deepened, the simple hope in his face vanishing. Now came the temper, the short bursts of fury meant to force his will, likening him to a spoiled child, an attitude that Lev regretted not shutting down years ago when it first started raising it’s ugly head.

He stared at her, eyes dark and wounded, “you left,” he hissed.

“I couldn’t do this anymore.”

“Do what?” A compulsive snap, he knew exactly what she was talking about, but he’d never owned up to it, never, not once.

“Watch you with all those girls, see you take them into your room, hear you fuck them through the walls, chase their skanky asses out the next morning so I could get you out of your drunken stupor and looking like a human being only to have you treat me like a piece of shit by doing it all over again the next night!” Lev hissed, enraged to feel the prick of tears in her eyes.

For a moment she was surprised to see betrayal flash through his eyes. “They don’t mean anything. They’re just groupies-”

“So that makes it alright? And telling people I’m your wife? What the fuck, James?!”

“Well, you should be!” He snarled. His arm snapped out, sweeping across the rolling table hovering over his bed, loud crashes sounding as everything on it hit the floor. “I fucking asked you enough times!”

He had. So many times, and every time she’d said ‘no’. What had held her back?

“Grow up.” Lev snapped, her face heating. How many times had they argued like this? How many times had they danced this twisted dance?

Too many fucking times.                    

“Fuck you.”

“No, James. Fuck you. I’m done. I don’t know why I came here anyway… I’m, I’m done. Have a nice life, what’s left of it anyway.” She turned to leave before the fury she was feeling was overwhelmed by the hurt and disappointment; what had she expected? Why did she always do this? Hadn’t she learned yet that he would never grow up and be the man she saw deep inside him? When would she stop hurting herself trying to draw that out?

She needed to stop trying.

“Hey. What are you doing?” James demanded but Lev ignored him, marching back out the door she’d just entered moments ago. “Hey!”

Lev stopped and took a deep breath, collecting her words. Without turning she swiveled her head enough to look at him.

“I’m done, James. I can’t watch you self-destruct anymore. I tried for years to be there for you, because I love you… but I can’t do this anymore, I need to live my own life.” Without waiting for an answer, she swiveled back, let her feet carry her away even as she felt her heart break anew in her chest.

If this was the right thing, why did it hurt so bad, why did she feel like she was abandoning him just when he needed her the most?

“Levi!” His voice broke on the scream, reverberating around her in the hallway but she didn’t turn back.

******************************************************************************

Ten Months Later

Lev sorted through her mail, separating the junk from the real then paused, lifting a large, cream coloured envelope from the pile.

Who sent letters anymore?

Splitting the seal, Lev pulled out folded sheets of thick paper, the same colour of the envelope, definitely expensive. As it opened, another smaller piece of paper fell out and Lev reached for it, brows drawn in confusion.

JAMES BARNES – STRIPPED BARE

A SPECIAL EXCLUSIVE, ACCOUSTIC ONLY ENGAGEMENT

She stopped reading, dropping the ticket to the table, and focussed on the letter instead.

Levka.

It’s been a while since we spoke, but I wanted to send you this anyway.

I understand why you left, and I applaud you for having the strength to do it. It seems to be the kick he finally needed.

James took a break from music, as you may or may not have realized but has recently decided to return, albeit in a much different capacity from before.

He has done away with the show, or ‘bullshit’ as he so eloquently puts it. No more pyrotechnics, no more lightshows and theatrics; he said he wants to return to the way he started, just him and his guitar, the band behind him.

Enclosed is a ticket to his first show and a plane ticket, first class, to reach it. The seat is in the back, where James won't be able to see you, if that is your wish.

I leave it up to you whether you attend but understand that James has not asked me to do this, and I have not told him I have.

Regards, Pepper

Lev stared at the letter for a full minute, marveling despite herself at the publicist’s flowing handwriting, her graceful hand.

She had stayed with James after all, even when Lev had left.

The second sheet was a printed plane ticket, leaving the next morning. Lev, if she took it, would land in mid-afternoon, giving her a few hours to gird herself before going to the show.

She recognized the venue listed; James had played it in his earlier years, just as he was starting to become famous and it was smaller, intimate, suited to an unplugged show. The seat shown was in the back, just as Pepper said; Lev could attend the show and leave again without James ever seeing her.

But did she want to?

What would it feel like to see him again, to hear him sing again the way he used to, his voice clear and full? When he’d reach his hand out to her, pull her onstage and sing with her, gaze at her so lovingly as they shared a microphone, voices melding and complimenting each other so beautifully?

Could she handle seeing him again?

She hardly knew.

*************************************************************************

Taking a deep breath, Lev opened the door and stepped inside. Other ticket holders milled around, no one paying her any mind. She prayed no one would recognize her, going so far as to dye her auburn hair a lustrous blue-black, switch out her contacts for the thick wayfarer frames she usually only wore in quiet moments spent relaxing or working from home.

The show was going to start in only a few minutes, but Lev resisted the urge to find her seat just yet, drifting until she gathered the will to enter the main area.

Finding her seat, Lev stared at the stage, hardly noticing as others shuffled to find their own places. Although small, the venue appeared to be sold out. Scott sat at the drums; Thor held an acoustic bass and James sat on a stool at the front, head bent over his favourite redwood acoustic guitar, the one he’d always said reminded him of Lev’s hair.

One jean-clad leg bent, worn biker boot on the footrest, he looked better than Lev remembered. Some of his physique had come back, thigh straining the jean’s stitching, biceps visible through the t-shirt he wore as he plucked the strings slowly, listening for the sound.

He looked good. He looked healthy again, his hair lustrous under the light, cheeks dark with just the right amount of stubble, fingers strong and sure, the boot flat on the stage floor tapping slowly to the beat in his head.

Lev felt a riot of emotions swell in her chest. This was the James she’d fallen in love with, the man she’d spent their early years with, before the vampire of fame began to bleed him dry.

He lifted his head, flashed a gorgeous smile at the audience and the show began.

It was beautiful, James’ voice strong and clear; the audience sat spellbound, hypnotized and Lev knew he’d made the right decision; to go back to his roots, let his talent speak for itself. He would enjoy a long career like this, unplugged and real.

Time passed like the blink of an eye and suddenly, too suddenly, James was standing, setting his guitar in its rest and stepping to the side of the stage. The spotlight followed, leaving Thor and Scott in the dark and illuminating a gleaming grand piano. The audience cheered in building excitement as he sat, adjusted the microphone.

He had not played piano is one of his shows for years, Lev wasn’t even sure he knew how to anymore.

The din died down, waiting and James looked out over them as he began to speak, a small, sad smile pulling at his lips.

“A while ago my life fell apart,” he stated simply. “I got tangled up in fame and being a rockstar and pushed away everyone that cared. Even Lev, the most important person in the world to me.”

Lev felt her cheeks warm, edginess creeping into her limbs. Was he about to blast her? Was she about to get her proverbial ass handed to her? Did he know she was here?

“She left,” he continued. “And I crashed. The only woman I’ve ever loved, and I hurt her everyday until she couldn’t take my bullshit anymore.” He swiped at a tear and Lev bit her lip.

“I hit rock bottom and Lev came to see me one more time. But instead of being grateful, of begging her for another chance, I acted like a total asshole and pushed her away again. And that was finally it, Lev leaving me like that was the push I needed to get my life together. I haven’t seen Lev since, I don’t deserve to…. but I owe everything to her.”

Lev heard sniffles around her.

“A while ago I heard this song for the first time. It made me cry like a baby and I listened to it for hours, until I couldn’t cry anymore. It brought about this idea I had about ‘stripping bare’ and starting over again…. This song is for you, Lev. I love you, baby.”

He focussed on the keys and a haunting melody began. Lev recognized it immediately, for it too had provoked her own tears the first time she’d heard it.

That Arizona sky burnin’ in your eyes.

You look at me and, babe, I wanna catch on fire.

It’s buried in my soul, like California gold.

You found the light in me that I couldn’t find.

His voice was heart-breaking, emotion pouring through as he sang, the piano a poignant, moving accompaniment, his fingers sure on the keys.

So when I’m all choked up,

But I can’t find the words.

His voice broke, but he pushed through.

Every time we say goodbye baby, it hurts.

When the sun goes down

And the band won’t play,

I’ll always remember us this way.

The band joined in quietly and Lev was lost in the sound, swaying slightly to his beautiful voice as tears streamed down her cheeks.

Too soon, the song ended, James’ head bowing as he breathed the last words, the last notes fading and the audience sat still, stunned silent for a beat before exploding.

Lev exhaled raggedly, wiping at her tears. As she watched, James tipped his head back, tears shining on his face and swallowed hard, seeming to gather himself before returning to the show.

The crowd continued to scream and cheer as James nodded once in acknowledgement, the smile on his lips tempered by the pain in his eyes.

He was open and vulnerable, stripped bare and he’d never been more beautiful in Lev’s eyes.

God, she still loved him, but was that enough?

Was she the key to his success, or the poison?

Should she go to him, step through the crowd and join him onstage, forgive him and start their next chapter together?

Or leave, let them both live their lives and follow the song, simply ‘remember us this way’?

She decided.

[yourkittywilde]

stuck with me 💍❤️

TAGGING  → @yourkittywilde & @sammynolanh

TIME FRAME  → 31 March 2019 

LOCATION  → Sammy & Kitty’s apartment, LA. 

WARNINGS  → None, actually. Bad cooking?

NOTES  →  Somewhere between Kitty yelling and making fun of girl’s hair extensions, Sammy thinks it’s the perfect time to propose.  idk i’m so bad at these summaries.

KITTY

It was Kitty's first day off since moving to L.A, and honestly? She was sort of exhausted. Between TMZ and college work she'd barely had time to sleep let alone spend significant time with her boyfriend. On top of that she was trying so hard to be better for Sammy. To be more thoughtful. To be nicer. Knowing it had only been  few weeks since Sammy was sick and in an effort to avoid ordering take out, Kitty had decided to cook. However somewhere between the boiling water spilling out onto the floor, tomatoes exploding in the pan and chicken that was now black, Kitty was somewhat defeated, sitting cross legged on the floor with dude in her lap. It was a lot easier when his neighbors did it for her in New York and Kitty just took the credit. "I suck at this, dude." She murmurs to the pup, patting him softly.

SAMMY

Sammy has been out on an evening hike with a few of his LA friends and was pretty tired when he had gotten home. Home. It was crazy to him that he was now living in LA and with Kitty, the love of his life, he honestly was scared it would all go away and he was just dreaming. When he entered the apartment he could smell a faint smoky smell as if something was burning. Confused he called out for kitty. “Babe?” He asked as he closed the door behind him and then saw the dog bolting from the kitchen, giving him a clue as where Kitty could be. And he was right. He looked down at her with a small laugh, finding  her distress just a bit charming. He looked around at the failed attempt at dinner and he pouted “Oh honey...” he said with a small chuckle as he kneeled on the ground in front of her.

KITTY

Kitty's nose wrinkles at Sammy's voice, and though she wants to stand up and pull herself together now he's home, shes just too tired. She looks up at him when he enters the room and chews on her lower lip as she watches him assess her failure. "I tried? I really did. And then things started beeping, timers started going off at random times and I couldn't remember which was which and there were flames and..." she shrugs defeatedly. "Gordon Ramsay makes it look way easier." She comments with a faint smile and pushes her hair away from her eyes. "I can make you cereal or... something? Is that healthy?"

SAMMY

Sammy scoots closer to her, straddling her legs as he leans down and kisses her forehead. “Well, I really do appreciate you trying.” He spoke softly. “You’ve been very helpful and supportive these past couple weeks and I’m very thankful for it... but you know you don’t have to be like super girl, right?” He asked her as he brought a hand up under her chin with a soft caress of his thumb to her cheek. “I’ll love you even if you don’t cook for me.” He smiles at her.

KITTY

"That's good since I think you'll find Quinn has already firmly cemented her role as Super Girl." She answers, not able to stop the smile that pulled at her lips when he touches her cheek. At least he noticed she was trying... it meant she must have been doing something right. "Does that mean we can get take out tonight?" Kitty looks past Sammy and up at the now hecticly messy kitchen. "Like... healthyish take out? I really cant eat oats one more day without going crazy. We can get whatever you want."

SAMMY

Sammy chuckles and kisses her tenderly. “That’s right. That’s her job.” He nodded “Yeah, we can order take out, I’ll take a shower so I stop stinking from the hike and then we can watch the oh so famous Kardashian’s you’ve raved about.” He suggested to her, hoping it sounded okay. He stood from his place on the floor and helped her up as he looked around. “But first I should help you clean up.” He said with a chuckle

KITTY

She nods and takes his hand to get up from the floor, squeezing it gently as a silent thank you. "Nope, go take a shower, babe. I can clean up out here." Kitty reassures him with a half smile, and stands on her toes to softly kiss his cheek. She might not be able to cook, but cleaning she could do without messing up. Besides... he was all sweaty. "The Kardashian's will be waiting for you when you get out. Just don't lie down and fall asleep or anything while you getting changed." She moves to the sink, and turns on the tap. "Unless you feel like you need to sleep of course 'cause you did just go hiking, so that's cool too." She adds with a quieter voice.

SAMMY

Sammy was tired, he spent most of his days feeling a bit tired and looking forward to sleep but being with Kitty after a hectic week felt like the right thing to do. Not only that, he wanted to spend time with his girlfriend, he had hardly seen her all week, she had been so busy. “If I help it’ll go by twice as fast.” He told her as he brought the soiled pans to the sink. He looked down at her with a quirked eyebrow “You’re being weird. What’s going on?” He questioned her as he bumped her so he could get a sponge and start scrubbing the pan in his hand.

KITTY

"It's okay, I can-" She starts to protest but rolls her eyes when he picks up the pans. And he called her stubborn. She lifts an eyebrow at his next words, glancing at him for a brief second before quickly grabbing the sponge from his hands. "Nothing's going on." She shrugs slightly, forcing a much brighter smile to her lips. "Go and have a shower, babe." She instructs him. "I've totally got this. Really. I made the mess, not you."

SAMMY

Sammy doesn’t believe her for a single second. He let her take the sponge and furrowed his brows, standing there for a moment and chewing on his lip before realizing what had changed. “You’re being really nice... like Marley nice. What’s going on.” He asked again, his hands reaching to her waist. “Don’t make me tickle you...”

KITTY

"Maybe I'm just a nice person." She looks at him with a smile, confused about whether he was complaining or not. "But nothing is going on." She says again, noticing his hands coming closer to her and dropping the sponge automatically to take a step back from him. "Sammy... no." Kittys voice gets serious, knowing how ticklish it seemed that every damn part of her body was. She holds out her hands defensively, "Doooont."

SAMMY

Sammy gave her the most knowing look. “Kitty.” He said in all seriousness and then smiled at her. “You haven’t called me an idiot in like a month...” he replied to her and then cornered her against the counter, his hands ready for the attack as he wrapped around her and began to tickle her.

KITTY

"Maybe you haven't been an idiot." Kitty counters, her eyebrows raising at him as she continues to back further away from his hands. "Saaammy dont..." she says in vein, squealing when his arms wrap around her. Her giggling is loud and shes twisting against him to get away. Her body is only able to take it for a short time before she gives in, "fine fine fine." She says breathlessly in between laughing. "You're so annoying!"

SAMMY

Sammy laughs along with the girl, stopping when she gave in. He pulled back and bowed down to her. “Thank you, I pride myself in it.” He smirked and leaned over and kisses her gently. “Now what’s the issue dear?” He asked he wrapped his arms around her neck.

KITTY

"Oh thank God." She says thankfully as she catches her breath, her eyes rolling when he bows in front of her. He was defintely an idiot... but he was sort of her idiot. Kitty leans into his kiss and fidgets with his shirt idly as he pulls away. "You're sweaty." She remarks, her lips twisting. "You really should shower." Mostly shes just looking for a way to delay talking about her feelings at this stage."So im clear, are you complaining that I'm too nice?" Was that even a thing? Kitty sighs quietly and somewhat frustratedly, knowing now they lived together there really wasnt anywhere for her to run to.

SAMMY

“I’ll shower after we talk.” He said with the raise of an eyebrow. He purses his lips and bobbed his head as he thought of the right way to phrase his thoughts. “Not necessarily complaining, cause don’t get me wrong, you being nice... is nice, but it’s also kinda weirding me out. Considering how sassy and sarcastic you normally are and you haven’t made any snarky comments, not even about my pictures with Lana on the the red carpet... I’m actually shocked I didn’t get an earful about that,” he rambled and continued “not that I like want you to be upset with me but, I just... I feel like you’ve been tiptoeing around me cause I’ve been sick.” He finally spit out.

KITTY

"You were expecting me to get upset about those photos?" She snaps back, pushing him away a little. "Was that the point? You cuddle up to your co-star and see how long it takes for me to realize that's what you want?" She shakes her head, scoffing under her breath. "I didnt say anything because I was trying to trust you." Mostly true. She hadn't said anything because she didnt want to fight with him again. "And for the record, I'm not tiptoeing around you because you've been sick. I've been tip toeing around you because I'm delaying the inevitable. We stopped having sex for a while, you got sick and now it's... awkward. It's all just awkward. And I get it, I'm not a nice person, so just leave if it's so weird. Go and be with Lana or whoever you want to be with. You've basically beat the record for how long someone has stayed at this point so congrats, you'll get a prize in the mail. But I'm totally keeping Dude."

SAMMY

Sammy shook his head. “Woah, no, no, no. I didn’t think you’d get upset... I just thought you’d make a snarky comment on her outfit or something.... babe. I don’t want her.” He reassured her. Or at least he tried. He honestly didn’t mean anything when he mentioned the other girl, he half expected Kitty to laugh it off but boy was he wrong? “Have I really not proven myself by now?” He asked a little hurt if he was being honest. “The inevitable? Kitty, why are you so damn adamant that I’m going to break up with you? When everything I’m doing is leading to the exact opposite? I moved in with you, I moved states for you. Fuck, id marry you right now if you were down. Which, I know you’re not ready for, by the way so I won’t ask you.... but the awkwardness between us is only on your side. I don’t feel awkward when I with you. Us not having sex was definitely not because of you and you know that. And you know what? I like who you are. I like everything about you.” Sammy brought his hands to his hair, scratching his head in frustration. “Fuck, even you getting angry at me all the fucking time makes me love you....” he sighed and took a few breaths. “Look. I know I’m more friendly with people than the average person but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you or I’m looking to leave you or cheating on you for that matter. I love people, I love my friends and fuck if I don’t love you the most... I love you so damn much.  You need to learn to trust me, Kitty. I’m not the other guys you dated. I’m not ghosting you  or leaving you for my next coworker live interest... I know It doesn’t seem like it but I have a pretty good head on my shoulders and know what I’m doing and what I want. And it’s you. I don’t know how else to say it or spell it out. You drive me fucking crazy.” He said, biting his lip with a small smile tugging at the corner. His heart was honestly so full and even though they were fighting, she’s the only person worth fighting for.

KITTY

Kitty was mad. It was as though every feeling she’d had since finding out Sammy was sick was coming to the surface and the easiest one for her to grasp right now was anger. She’d watched him “date” his co-star before, and maybe that was why everything with Lana caused her to spiral so much more than normal... But he really hadn’t helped the situation either. She chews on her bottom lip as she listens to him speak, feeling less angry as each moment passed. Sammy didn’t often speak this much, and she knew him enough to be sure he wasn’t acting or reciting some cliche speech right now. Kitty also knew she should probably just move on, but she’d spent what felt like forever now not having the last word and being ‘relaxed and nice’ about everything, she didn’t have it in her to do it right now. “More friendly? You were basically making heart eyes at her on the red carpet, Sammy. And we both know i’m nothing like her -- for one, when I wear hair extensions they don’t look tacky and cheap.” She shrugs, sighing in frustration. “I love you, you idiot. More than I’ve ever loved anyone. I got over every loser that’s ever hurt me, or left me for someone nicer, or better, or sexier... but I don’t want to get over you, so if you’re not planning on breaking up with me I’m gonna need you to put it in writing that you’re not going anywhere. Because I’m so damn sick of not being enough for people.” She lifts her eyes to meet his. “I’m also gonna need you to stop freaking smiling!” She says, hitting his chest gently before resting her forehead on him. “God, you’re so annoying.”

SAMMY

Sammy chuckled, he couldn’t help it. “It’s Lana, and she has a boyfriend, either way, our relationship is totally platonic. Like I love her to death but like my little sister.” He explained to Kitty, hoping she would get it. He took her hands in his and quirked his brow slightly with a small smile. He didn’t know what overcame him but what he was about to say, it just felt right. “You want it in writing?” He asked as he kisses her head and pulled away from Kitty slightly to get down on one knee. “Marry me, Kitty.” He says gently, looking up at the girl, suddenly feeling very nervous and actually scared. His voice had the slightest shake to it as he continued to speak, getting more emotional as he went on. “I-I know it might be too soon but to me it just doesn’t feel soon enough... I know you’re the one for me. I think I’ve known since the day I met you...” he bit his lip, laughing at himself for getting so emotional. “Gosh, I’m so lame.” He said under a shaky breath. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you and fighting for you and alongside you...” he brought her hand to his lips and kisses it. “I’m so in love with you, Kitty Wilde.”

KITTY

Kitty's eyes widen as he pulls away and moves onto his knee. She almost laughs because there's no way he could possibly be proposing... unless he was proposing they shower and order Chinese food.  "Sammy..." She wants to stop him. Because this was not how she planned on this conversation going. She was a mess, they were standing in their kitchen surrounded by half done dishes and burnt inedible food, and they'd just spent the past ten minutes arguing. And then she hears his words -- the words --  and her heart stops beating. Was he serious? He looked serious. He sounded serious. "Sammy..." She repeats herself as she tries to remember how to breath, let alone talk. "I... This..." She shakes her head, and takes his hand to pull him up. "Stand up, stand up, stand up. That's not what I was getting out." She reassures him. "I love you... so much. But you don't have to propose to me because I'm scared you're going to leave me. That's my problem, Sammy. Not yours. Just...umm... write it on a post it note or something."

SAMMY

Sammy’s heart was beating at what felt like a thousand beats per minute. He knew it was a long shot but yet he still hoped she would say yes. Yes, maybe part of him did it to reassure her that he wasn’t going anywhere but most of it was because he couldn’t wait to officially spend the rest of his life with this girl. He wanted this not just for her but for him. He took another deep breath as he stood to meet her.  “I...I know this isn’t what you were getting at... and I’m not just saying this to make you feel better... I- I was serious when I said I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And yes I’m terrified.” He took another moment to breathe, grabbing one of her hands and placing it on his chest, over his heart, where she could feel it still beating unbearably fast. He let out a nervous laugh. “But I’m also so, so sure that you’re the one. You’re it. And I don’t want to spend another day with anyone, anywhere doubting that. Especially not you.” He nodded and then went to reach for the drawer beside her to grab the stack of post it’s and a random purple pen, scribbling something quick on it. “So...” He said as he brought of the little piece of sticky paper to her, the words ‘Marry me?’ Scribbled on it.

KITTY

Kitty was speechless. She could feel the beating of his chest and hear the way his breathing was different. But it was... sudden. Even if sometimes it felt like they were together for a lot longer, it was so sudden. She swallows and takes a deep breath as she tries to unscramble her thoughts through the sound of her own heart pounding way too loudly. God, why couldn't she think?? "You're still sweaty." She muses quietly with a small smile on her lips. He pulls away to get a post it note and in that moment Kitty's positive he's realized he's insane and is taking it all back. But if she wasn't sure how she felt before, she was even more unsure now. Taking it back might have been the smarter more rational decision, but if the way her stomach sank was any indication maybe it wasnt the one she wanted after all. Nothing with Sammy had been normal. From the moment they met Sammy had surprised her. He was crazy, and unpredictable... and possibly got too attached to his co-stars. But he fought for her. A lot. It didnt seem to matter how many times she pushed him away, or how many times she doubted him, he stuck around. He was the last person she thought of before she went to sleep at night and she loved that his face was the one she got to wake up to. Her whole life she had been trying to prove to someone that she was worth it -- her parents, her friends, her coaches, her boyfriends. But with Sammy? He didnt ask her to be anything other than herself. He didnt want or need her to prove anything. Being with him wasnt always easy... but she really did love and care for him more than she did herself. Which was... different and new.Kitty ran her fingers through her hair a little nervously, looking down at their puppy who clearly decided he'd had enough unsupervised destruction around the apartment and made his way back into the kitchen. She lifts her eyes to the post it note Sammy was now holding in front her, and she couldn't stop her face from lighting up. The blonde wasnt good at emotions, she tended to over talk and say the wrong thing, generally offending someone. But she knew how she felt in this moment. She chuckles and picks up the purple pen from the counter top, quickly taking the post it not from his fingers and scribbling below his words. There's a smile on her lips when she hands it back to him, her own words simply saying 'Yes.'

SAMMY

Sammy grew more and more nervous. Kitty being quiet about it all didn’t really help either. He half expected her to just push him away and leave the room, maybe just end things for good... god,  he was stupid. He didn’t want to scare the girl away and now he was on the verge of a meltdown with how quiet they boy were. He then sees the small smile on her lips and she comments on the newly dripping sweat running down his chest. The nerves and excitement making him sweat like a pig. Still she hadn’t answered but the smile seemed hopeful and Sammy returned the small smile, waiting for an answer as his heart continued to pound in his chest. Wow, waiting was exhausting. He felt like he’d ran a marathon.  He watches as she turns to pick up the pen, thankful she made the next move cause Sammy was close to a full blown anxiety attack, and she also take the note, writing something below it. It was fast and Sammy honestly has no idea what it says but he’s still hopeful.  She then shows it to him and now Sammy’s the one who’s speechless. He grabs the note from her hands and pulls it closer to his face, reading it over and over and over and over. It’s in her handwriting, this was real, she said yes. He lets out a relieved sigh and looks at her with a huge smile. “Wait, really?” He asks.

KITTY

Kitty watches as Sammy takes forever to read the note. That was what he wanted, right? It was what she wanted... surprisingly. And just as she questioned herself, the look on his face answered her. "Really." She nods, grinning like an idiot and still not sure how arguing about his co-star had led to him proposing."I love you. And the idea of not having a future with you terrifies me more than being with you forever. So... yes." She says biting down on her lower lip to try and stop herself from smiling so much. "God, you make me way too cheesy." She lifts herself up on the counter behind her and wraps her legs around Sammy to pull him closer to her . "So we're... engaged?"

SAMMY

Sammy swears his heart skipped a beat actually hearing her yes. He envelopes her in his arms, pulling her incredibly close to him, a yelp of excitement and happiness escapes his mouths and he rocks her back and forth and kisses whatever he can reach with his lips. He’s so happy, he actually didn’t know he could be this happy. He feels intoxicated and high and everything just felt right in the world.  “Holy shit, yes. We’re engaged. I- uh I need to get you a ring...” He stammers “Tomorrow, we can go pick one out. Whichever one you want. Holy fuck, I can’t wait to tell my parents.”

KITTY

For the second time tonight Kitty finds a small squeal escaping her mouth when Sammy's arms wrap around her and his lips are attacking her. She's happy... Beyond happy. Her face actually hurts from grinning which until right now she thought was something people said when they were trying to be cliché and cheese. "You don't have to rush." She assures him, not caring about anything other than just being with him. She picks up the post it for a second, "We have this... it's basically the same thing as a ring. But we should probably do the whole meet the parents thing some time soon." Kitty laughs slightly and leans in to kiss him again, pulling away with  smile when she needs to catch her breath. "You still have to watch the Kardashians with me tonight."

SAMMY

Sammy takes another deep breath and nods. “Okay.” He says softly, pressing his forehead against hers with a gently smile. “I’m so happy right now.” He told her with a chuckle as he pulled away to look at her. “Damn, I thought proposing would get me out of that...” he joked and laughed, shaking his head with a sigh. “It’s okay, I’d endure the Kardashian’s every day if it meant being with you.” He grinned. “Okay, I definitely need to shower now and then we can Ubereats some nice champagne and food and we’ll watch the Kardashian’s. Yeah?”

KITTY

"Nope." She chuckles, tilting her head with a smile. "You basically just committed to watching it with me forever and ever and ever."  She nods at his plan and places a gentle kiss to his cheek. "Oh phew, I was hoping you would shower sometime soon." Kitty teases him, her legs still tightly wrapped around him. There was a part of her that didn't want to let him go, being here with him right now felt perfect and she so very selfishly didn't want it to end. "And then we should really celebrate... preferably without clothing. Actually definitely without clothing." She smirks, and finally lets go of him so he's able to leave. "I love you, hot shot."

SAMMY

Sammy chuckled at her snarky comment and pressed his lips to her neck, growling lightly into her skin with desire and leaving a few kisses to her skin before pulling away, biting his lip with a grin. “I like the way you think.” He said as he kisses her and pulls away with a nip at her lips. “I love you, too.”

[mattzerella-sticks]

Heavenly Bodies (a Dean/Cas fanfiction Ao3)

The Met-Gala theme this year has Fashion pairing up with Catholic Imagination. But is there more to this trendy Garden of Eden then meets the eye? Will it be the place where a new covenant is born - one between Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak? Read more if you want to see if they take a bite of the apple...

           Dean’s eyes were starting to burn, the camera flashes coalescing to form one giant sun he stared into for too long. Thankfully, the saving touch of an attendant pushed him along, away from the photographers and further into the event. He released the breath he had been holding – the one that kept his body slim for the cameras – and shook loose the aches that built up from posing for too long.

           Normally modeling clothing wouldn’t put too much of a strain on his body: walking the runway his bread and butter. But today’s outfit was more constricting than the suit Sammy forced him into for his wedding. Then again… that was the year he wasn’t getting hired. And all those rejections made the ice cream in his fridge look all the more appetizing.

           This time he had no one to blame but his designer. And while it looked fantastic on him, Crowley’s measurements cut too close. The silver vest buttoned too tight, pushing his chest and the bedazzled cross on it outwards. His pants, the same silver shifting towards a deep crimson in a captivating ombré, hugged his thighs. The buttons of his shirt nearly bursting at the seams – especially at the cufflinks where two glittering crimson crosses were adorned. Only his cape – blood red and fastened at his shoulders by two firm silver shoulder pads – seemed to flow easily; its tail fluttering and tapping against his lower back.

           “Dean!” Charlie, his friend, manager, and date for the evening, sidles up beside him, “You need to see this!” Her pale blue dress fans out into a ball gown, little doves fixed to the tulle. A long white mantle covers her usual bright hair.

           “Charlie, can’t it wait?” he whines, “The sooner we get inside, the closer I get to unbuttoning this torture device.”

           “Trust me,” she says, “you’ll want to keep it on after you see him.” Dean’s curiosity is piqued, but he still summons the minimum amount of disgruntlement as she drags him past celebrities and models and towards another crowd of photographers, the shutters like gunshots, each striking their target for the kill.

           “Okay, okay,” Dean gripes, yanking his arm free, “What is it you want me to… to…”

           Dean’s eyes lock onto the center of the crowd, where the people part and a miraculous light shines down on the focus. Standing there was a literal angel – and not because of the ethereal, dark wings sprouting from behind. The man’s outfit, besides the avian accessory, was a simple elegance. A sleek, tan coat would fan behind him as he twisted into another pose. His head was adorned with a simple halo, glittering with each flash of the camera. And his cane, glossy, polished chrome, seemed to stab into the ground with how sharp it was.

           “Who is that?” Dean asks, gaping at the sight.

           “That’s Castiel Novak,” Charlie tells him, “He’s a designer – apparently out of the game for awhile. But when he heard what the theme for the Gala was, it got his creative juices flowing. He designed that gown we saw Billie wearing.”

           “Billie?” Dean parrots, “Billie Rapier?” She had received probably similar treatment as her friend Castiel was getting. Dean remembers passing by, nearly tripping at the picture of sacramental beauty. The electric blue gown perfectly draped across her body, the waist pulled tight by a golden bodice. Across the chest, a bejeweled heart – sewn into the fabric – bled rubies. A crown of gold crosses decorated her head, matching the golden jewelry winding its way like vines down her arms. “He did that?” Dean asks, blinking.

           “Yep,” Charlie smirks, “And that’s just the start of his new line… word is he’s looking for a muse for his male collection. A… Righteous Man, so to speak. Now ask yourself… who’s more righteous than… well, you?”

           “Ugh, do not bring that up,” Dean groans, “That was a one-time campaign for Michael… the douche.” A cologne named Righteous… made sense when you got to know Mr. Godson. But the artistic direction – Zachariah Adler should never have been allowed behind a camera. Thankfully, recent allegations have come to light that will keep him far from the fashion industry.

           “Paid well, at least,” Charlie shrugged, “Even if I got only twenty percent of that fat check. Anyway… you’ve been looking for a fresh start. And there won’t be many of those now that you’re older –”

           “Charlie!” Dean says, “Do not bring up the ‘o’ word!”

           “What… older?” Charlie asks, her grin growing wider with Dean’s groan, “Should I maybe say thirty-ni -!”

           Dean clamps a firm hand across her lips, shooting his friend a dark look. “Don’t,” he warns, “Press finds out how old I really am then it won’t just be me out of a job, missy.” She rolls her eyes, but takes a vow of silence. He releases her, wincing down at his hand. “Might want to check your make-up,” Dean tells her, “Sorry.”

           Charlie pulls her phone out, checking the smudges and huffing. She shoots him a dark look before stomping away, each of the doves on her dress somehow ruffled. Dean watches her leave, unaware of the shadows that have fallen overhead.

           “There is beauty in anger,” a deep voice rumbles like thunder from behind, “Like a storm that passes over an empty field…”

           Dean startles, twirling towards Castiel, who had somehow approached him without his notice.

           “Oh!” he says, blushing, “Um… I didn’t see you –“

           “I know,” Castiel continues, finally tearing his blue gaze away from Charlie and towards him, “You were very preoccupied with your date. I hope your small inconvenience won’t come back to haunt you later on in the evening…?”

           “Dean,” he says, smiling, “Dean Winchester. And no, Cas, it won’t – I mean, not in the way you’re probably thinkin’, because Charlie there is about as straight as I am… which is not at all – I mean,” he notices the other man’s strange head tilt, and dread crawls further up his throat, taking control of his vocal chords, “I don’t know why I just told you that – not that I’m ashamed I mean, you saw Lena Waithe right? Totally got a selfie with her and her amazing cape it’s just – we only met today and… I should stop talking, right?”

           “Cas?”

           Dean blinks, short-circuiting at the path Castiel had chosen to take given the multitude his ramblings had presented the designer.

           “Oh, are you not a nickname kind of guy?” Dean asks, “Sorry – it’s a habit. My brother, Sammy – he prefers Sam – tells me it’s gonna get me in trouble. Like that time I nearly slipped with his ex, calling her ‘Demon’ instead of Ruby. Not like the love was long-lasting, but I’m sure that didn’t help.” He catches sight of Castiel’s face again, this time much softer, laughter bubbling to the surface. “I really need to stop running my mouth.”

           “No, it’s fine,” Castiel says, patting Dean’s shoulder, “The rambling and the nickname. It’s a welcome change from ‘Mr. Novak’ and ‘Castiel, the angel of Fashion’.”

           Dean snorts, “A little presumptuous, aren’t they?”

           “They’re not far off,” Castiel – ‘no, Cas’ – admits, “I mean, my name’s origins are heavenly, except the real Cassiel was the angel of Thursdays, not fashion. And even then, who wants to be the angel of loincloths and tunics?”

           “Loincloths!” Dean giggles alongside Cas, “That’d be a sight. I can see Gucci now – each selling for 500 bucks a piece!” Their mirth doesn’t go unnoticed, a pack of paparazzi already forming, fingers itching for the perfect shot. Dean, trained to notice the glint that shines within every photographer’s eye when the perfect image comes to mind, slips into his model headspace.

           “You might want to smile, Cas,” Dean whispers, “We’re about to make every gossip rag and Buzzfeed article about the Met Gala.”

           “I wonder what the headlines will read?” Cas muses, moving to tuck Dean’s arm into his, bringing him closer, feathers tickling the base of his neck, “Angelic Designer woos Holy Crusader at Met Gala?”

           “Hey!” Dean pouts, “Who says you’re doing the wooing?”

           “Let he who hasn’t been flustered once this entire conversation cast the first woo,” Cas says, glancing at the other man with mirth. Dean frowns, the blush eating away at his foundation easily proving his point.

           “Anyway,” Dean says, carrying on, “It looks like my date has left me at the altar, so to speak… would you maybe like to accompany me inside?”

           “From now to the foreseeable future, Dean Winchester, I would love to worship at your altar.”

           “…That’s not what I said.”

           “I’m an artist,” Cas smirks, walking forward, “I can take creative liberties.”

           The duo continues towards the Met, halted every couple of inches by the cameras being shoved into their faces. Dean doesn’t mind, each picture made more enjoyable by the man by his side.

           “Dean! What the hell? Why didn’t you tell me?”

           “Sammy please… I’m severely hung-over, up way to early, and sore in places you wouldn’t want to know –“  

           “I just mean, I think as your brother I deserved to find out from you instead of the Internet that you ‘ve been involved in a secret relationship for nearly a year with some designer.”

           “What! That’s not… where did you hear that?”

           “TMZ.”

           “Jesus, Sammy, I have not been in a secret relationship with Cas –“

           “Dean, keep it down I drank too much to be awake this soon.”

           “Dean… who was that?”

           “…Can we pretend this never happened and I can call you later?”

           “Dean!”

           “Hey, this ain’t confessional – I don’t have to tell you anything.”

           “Dean so help me God –“

           “Breaking up – krrsh – going through a tunnel – krrsh – talk to you soon, bye!”

           “Dean! He better not be going through your tunnel –“ Click!

           He sighs, tossing the phone back onto the nightstand and slipping back under the covers, Cas already waiting to wrap him up. “Who was that?” the other man asked, peppering Dean’s neck with kisses.

           “Just my brother,” Dean giggles, “Apparently our chemistry was so amazing that people think we’ve been seeing each other much longer than just last night.”

           “Well you know what they say,” Cas says into Dean’s neck, “Miracles do happen once in a lifetime.”

           “Yeah,” Dean hums in agreement, “That sounds about right.”

           They don’t leave the bed – or deal with the media frenzy from last night – until the next morning.

[resetmypatientviolence]

Picture to Burn (Seth x MC x Matt)

Picture to Burn-- Part 1 of this fic series (I think?)

Word count: 1,499 Pairing: Seth x Terrance [MC] x Matt

Rating: PG13

Warnings: Language; Matt doesn’t actually make an appearance, FYI

Summary: How was Terrance supposed to leave Seth alone in after the disaster of a comedy show? For that matter, how could she NOT kiss him? She didn’t think anything of the paparazzi’s stolen picture until the next morning when everybody wants to know about her “Mystery Man”. It would all be okay, maybe even great, if she also didn’t have the same secret moments with Matt Rodriguez, the actor with a heart of gold.

Suggested Song Accompaniment: Bad at Love-- Halsey

Note: I have a name for my Drake x MC x Liam fic series (finally), “Supposed to Be” which you can find here. The 3rd chapter is coming soon! Thank you for your support of my writing! Enjoy!

Terrance pulled her head up, reluctantly; blonde curls falling over her bare shoulder, tank top strap slipped off her shoulder. The water Seth got for her before he headed back to his apartment was untouched. She groaned. At least her head wasn’t swirling. She had worse mornings.

 Propping herself on an elbow, she grabbed the lukewarm water and drank it in big gulps, last night coming back into focus. Seth’s disaster of a show. The kiss in the dressing room. The first round of drinks. Then another. Then another bar. Then back to her apartment, ordering pizza, and drinking beers and watching D-grade movies. Kisses, and lots of them, some small and others deep and steamy, peppered between everything.

 Finished, Terrance smiled to herself, setting the glass back on the nightstand. Seth was drunk too, but he still tucked her in, Terrance giggling the whole time, and gave her water. She touched her lips. She didn’t want him to go, stalling him with insistent kisses, but she grew too tired to keep up her resistance. Though, what were they waiting for?

 Looking at the door, she sighed, quietly. Nothing was official with Matt… or him… but why did she feel so conflicted and guilty when she looked into Seth’s eyes? Why would she be breaking somebody’s heart eventually? Could she… not? “Or you can just stop kissing cute boys…” she muttered to herself, dragging herself out of bed. She came here to act, after all. Not be caught up in confusion, even if nothing was official. It felt so small town.

 It was a quiet morning—she still had time before she had to be on set. Coffee brewing, Terrance showered, and changed, entering the kitchen just as the pot beeped. “Ugh, finally.” Pouring herself a cup, she sat on the counter and pulled out her phone for the first time. She used to scroll through it half asleep in bed… but ever since her newfound fame, she needed to be sharp—focused. Who knew if a another surprise interview would appear the morning of?

 As the new usual, notifications everywhere. Thousands of followers. She posted a picture of her coffee. Likes, instantly. She exhaled, slow. It was… she didn’t know how to feel. Matt couldn’t even relate. A text, from Chazz, well, multiple.

 Ter! Is that your neighbor??

 Girl!! Spill!

Text me the second—and I mean—the second you wake up!!

Puzzled, she tilted her head. I do live by people, yeah.

 In the picture!

What????????

 “Oh, shit.” The photographer. Matt. Chazz sent the photo, accompanied by an article from TMZ. Hollywood’s Newest IT Girl and her Mystery Man—CAUGHT!

 She rubbed her temple. There was no denying it was her, hair, smile and all. Their lips, barely touching, pulling away from the kiss, but the photographer still got the shot. Seth’s hands wrapped around her back, gripping the fabric of her dress, like he never wanted to let her go. She gulped and set the cup on the counter.

 The tabloids picked it up. Want to know everything about him and you. My inbox is exploding. On my way to now to take you to your shoot—you have some answers to give.

 What if there isn’t any?????

 WTF TER?!

 She slouched, sinking lower and lower into herself. “Shit,” she breathed. None of this would have mattered, of course, if she hadn’t been tangled up with Matt.

 Matt was... amazing. New, fast paced, grand, and yet, genuine. It was like she could see through him and he to her. He wasn’t just an actor, he was a person who just wanted to feel normal once in a while. She knew he liked how she grounded him and made those parts of him flourish in their short time as more close than friends—and coworkers—should be.

 Seth was also… amazing. Soft, gentle, funny, and familiar. Like home. That might be the Midwest connection, but it was deeper than that. She lost herself in his blue eyes and she would do anything to protect him, and him to her. With him, she felt at home, at ease, comfortable in the insanity of her new life.

 Nothing was official with either. But, somehow, she felt that she picked the two men in Hollywood who might actually care if she was conflicted between two people. She should have told them, but life was coming at her all too fast. She just wanted to see them when she could and see if there was a connection for something more there. If there was. And for Matt… she could only hope he didn’t pay attention to the tabloids anymore. She’s rather tell him in person than have him see… that. The picture.

 Another text notification. Not from Chazz. Matt. Her heart leapt to her throat. She was about to open it when the knocking started. “Coming!” She slid off the counter and nervously rubbed her hands together.

 She opened it and there was Seth. He offered a smile. “Hey, Iowa, got some more coffee?”

 She nodded stiffly. “Yeah, help yourself.” He walked in and she popped her head out into the hallway… just making sure nobody was there. There wasn’t.

 Terrance bit her lip and joined him in the tiny kitchen, picking up her still warm cup. She really should write a book on how to feel like a shitty person within one minute. Bestseller. “Umm… so…” she started. “Thanks for the water, it was a lifesaver.”

 Seth chuckled, eyes crinkling. “Always, Iowa.” They paused. Her phone on the counter with Matt’s text. “So… that picture….”

 She shook her head. “I’m so sorry, Seth, I didn’t know that he’d follow me and get that and…”

 “No, no, it’s okay. Well, I mean an invasion of our privacy, but look at this.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and showed her the screen, filled with notifications too. Texts, emails…. She squinted her eyes and cocked her head.

 “They figured out my mystery man, huh?”

 “Clubs are asking me—asking me—to do stand up for them. Can you believe it?” He sounded incredulous, but Terrance saw the smile on his lips. It warmed her heart. Well, maybe one good thing came from the picture. Could that outweigh the bad?

 She kissed him on the cheek, smiling. He raised his eyebrows but then smiled, truly. “I’m happy that that happened, Seth. You deserve it.” He sipped his coffee, free hand tucking a wild curl behind her ear.

 “The next thing… what do you want me to do next?”

 “Hmm?”

 “If people ask, I’ve got tabloids wanting to interview me, to give the scoop on you, us, and… it’s not my place to speak for you, if you want to say anything.” Her phone buzzed again. She broke her gaze from Seth’s blue eyes. Matt’s name, again. She frowned, heartbeat speeding. Oh god oh god oh god.

 “I… it’s a little crazy, isn’t it?” she said, shaking her head. “Just a kiss and bam, suddenly everybody cares about my personal life. I shouldn’t be complaining… but…” Terrance trailed when his happy smile was gone. He stared into his coffee. She grit her teeth and replayed her words. Just a kiss.

 Seth was still quiet. Her phone, buzzed, again. “Listen,” she said, moving next to him, nudging his side. “Please don’t talk to the tabloids. If… if this is something, let’s have this move at our pace, okay? Not what Hollywood wants.”

 He nodded, looking at her now. “Will do, Iowa.” Then, he cupped her face, fingertips lingering on her skin before he kissed her lips, so gentle. So unlike the one kiss in the hallway of their apartment the moment they entered it last night…. Terrance shivered. “For the record, I do hope that this will be something, someday,” he said after the kiss.

 Me too, Terrance wanted to say, but couldn’t because she wasn’t sure of the truth herself. Instead, she kissed him, biting his lower lip exactly how he liked it. A small moan from the base of his throat. And suddenly, she was writing the sequel of How to Feel Like a Shitty Person in One Minute, aptly titled How to Become a Bigger Piece of Shit Than You Already Are. “I think you have some new jokes to write up, Mystery Man,” she whispered.

 He laughed, eyes twinkling, bright with possibility. “That I do, Iowa. Have a… er, story to tell when you get back from your shoot today.”

 Terrance picked up her phone. It buzzed. Again. The third book of her human shit trilogy was on its way. “I’ll have a novel by the end of this movie.”

 Seth grinned. “See you later, Terrance.” He kissed her cheek and headed out. Instantly, the ease, despite the situation at hand, disappeared. Terrance grit her teeth, and stared at her phone. Now or never.

 Taking a deep breath, she swiped, opening up Matt’s messages.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in the fiction. All rights go to Pixelberry Studios.

[iwriteficsnottragediesladies]

Search and Seizure pt 3

A/N: It’s here. I hope you like it! I put an extra character in there you might relate to if you find it weird/difficult to connect with an epileptic reader. This is part of the scavenger hunt, so see if you can spot the reference!

If you would like to be added or taken off the tag list, just let me know!

Pre-read Epilepsy Disclaimer

You were deep into the tour and it was time to restock the bus with food, so you found a small grocery store. Grocery stores always made Brendon anxious, so you would go later at night when it was nearly empty.

You were feeling kind of nauseous and being surrounded by food wasn’t really helping. You take a deep breath and it subsides. You continue to walk absentmindedly, the boys loading up on what they wanted while chatting back and forth. They were further down the aisle and you were walking alongside Brendon.

Your nausea comes back, and it’s no longer just a normal “sick to your stomach” feeling. You felt your arm getting heavy and you start to panic. Not here. Not here. Please god, not here.

For some reason, you’re always so hesitant to tell people that you aren’t okay. You feel bad--it interrupts what they’re doing and everything grinds to a halt, just to take care of you, all while simultaneously scaring the shit out of everyone.

Of course, it doesn’t really matter--a girl’s gotta seize when a girl’s gotta seize. You decide you should probably speak up before it’s too late.

A new wave of intensity passes through you and it’s tell him now or never. You stop walking and suddenly clutch Brendon’s wrist. He quickly swings around. He sees your eyes appearing unfocused as they stray from him, your breathing becoming uneven while a dazed expression paints your face.

“Oh--” The sound escapes his mouth as he realized the situation. Brendon’s demeanor flipped into little kid mode. “Y/n?” He called to you in a low tone, placing his hands on your upper arms. You look to him and he feels a little relieved that you were responsive. “Feel like you’re gonna have a seizure, baby?” He asks in a sweet voice.

You nod your head as you reach out to him weakly, feeling unsteady. Brendon quickly pulls you close and you whimper into his shoulder. No matter how many times you have had a seizure, it has never gotten any less scary.

“Okay, It’s alright Y/n,” Brendon comforted you. You become uncoordinated and he knows he needs to get you to the floor safely. He barely takes his eyes off of you as he looks over his shoulder and calls out, “Hey Zack?”

Brendon’s voice was calm, but his tone was still a dead give away. Zack looks back to confirm what he already guessed was unfolding. All of them start to run back over.

“Let’s lay down baby,” Brendon directs quickly.

Your body complies with his suggestion. Brendon supports you under your arms to help you lower down onto your knees.

Zack was immediately behind you to guide you to the ground.

There’s too many hands touching you and now you’re too confused to understand why. You scream and thrash in their hold.

“It’s alright, Y/n,” Zack calmed you as they manage to lay you gently onto your side. They give you some space.

Kenny had pulled off his sweatshirt and handed it down to Brendon. Brendon gently slides it under your head, hoping not to scare you. You didn’t even react and were becoming less responsive.

“Timer?” Brendon glanced at the boys.

“I got it,” Dallon displayed his phone.

“I’m right here, Y/n,” Brendon said softly to you.

You start to seize and Dallon starts the timer.

“C’mon guys, step back,” Zack says. Brendon looks up to see who he is talking to. A small crowd has gathered. Y/n is not going to be happy about this, he thought to himself. Obviously the supermarket wasn’t heavily populated this time of night, but it was a small crowd nonetheless.

Dallon, Kenny, and Dan stand to create a sort of barrier. Dallon passes his timer off to Brendon, who remains sitting with you. Blood starts to come out of your mouth. Brendon pulls the sleeve of his sweatshirt down over his hand and wipes it away.

“It’s okay, Y/n,” He said quietly, “You’re alright.” Bloody spit continued to drip down, and Brendon just continued to wipe it away every so often. He uses his other hand to brush your hair away.

The crowd watches, some concerned, some panicked, some morbidly curious. They whisper back and forth to each other.

Oh shit, I hope she’s okay! Oh my god! Poor thing.

A few people start to recognize the band.

Wait, isn’t that Brendon Urie? Holy shit, yeah! Do you think she overdosed or something?! This is some TMZ worthy shit right here.

Zack hears the last comment and turns to look for the voice. He sees a guy holding up his phone, recording a video of you.

Zack took a step forward and shoved his hand over the camera.

“No, fucking put that away,” Zack snapped.

The guy just moved his arms to continue to film, pretty much ignoring Zack. Zack was infuriated. You were a sister to him and he was now going full blown mama bear for you. He wound up and smacked the phone out of the guy’s hands and it flung through the air before crashing down onto the ground.

“What the fuck, man?!” The guy looked at Zack.

“I said to put that the FUCK. AWAY.” Zack shouted.

The guy backed down and shut up.

Someone dressed in the grocery store uniform quickly approached Zack.

“Should I call 911?” The young woman asked. Zack then read her name tag, ‘Emma’, noting it was the store manager.

“No,” Zack shook his head.

“What can I do to help?” She asked kindly and professionally, truly wanting to be of assistance.

“Um, do you have a place we can bring her after?” Zack asked, “Somewhere private?”

“Yes, of course,” She nodded, “the break room.”

At this point, Brendon was too focused on you to care about anything going on around him. He trusts that the boys would keep the situation under control.

“It’s okay baby,” He continued soothing you, “I’m right here, you’re okay.”  The end of his sleeve was covered in blood. The cut on your tongue was bleeding so heavily it had also dripped with dead skin on the linoleum floor. Brendon knew this was worse than usual and he kept a very close eye on you.

You were slowing down.

“There you go baby, you’re okay,” He said relieved. He looked down at the stopwatch and read 1:15.

“Zack?” Brendon called up to him. Zack turned around quickly and squatted down.

“How’s she doing?” He asked.

“I think she’s done,” Brendon replied before adding, “Bleeding a lot though.” Zack nodded in agreement.

“The manager said we can take her into the break room, get her outta here,” Zack told him.

“Alright that sounds good,” Brendon said quietly as he wiped away some more spit coming from your mouth.

Zack looked to Emma who gestured to follow her to the break room. You are completely out of it, unresponsive with your eyes open and body still a bit tense. Brendon scoops you up in his arms, keeping you just the way you are, on your side.

“Got’er?” Zack asked quickly.

“Yep,” Brendon replied with effort in his voice, ready to move forward. Zack stepped ahead to follow the manager.

“Alright guys, step back,” Zack asserted to the onlookers, “Move.”

The boys walked on all sides of you, shielding you from the crowd. The manager unlocked the door and led them in. Brendon places you down on a couch before sitting himself on the floor beside you. Zack knelt down next to you as well while the boys all seat themselves on the floor or nearby chairs

“That’s more than usual, huh?” Kenny murmured, referencing the bleeding.

“Yeah, looks like she got herself pretty good,” Zack nodded sadly.

A faucet runs briefly and Emma walked over to Brendon, handing him a damp paper towel. Brendon caught a glimpse of tattoos on her wrist: four different exclamation points. He smirked internally. He decided not to mention it.

“Thank you,” He said quietly instead, before taking the towel and cleaning away the blood on your mouth and cheek. She gave the whole roll to Zack, who ripped off another piece to place under your cheek to catch any extra spit. Blood had already dripped onto the couch, but it was better than nothing. Brendon ran his fingers through your hair.

“How long was this one?” Zack asked.

“1:15,” Brendon replied without looking away from you.

“Average,” Dallon concluded, relieved that it wasn’t any more severe than usual.

You began to stir a bit, your eyes moving more purposefully.

“Hey Y/n, you’re okay,” Brendon says softly, “We’re at the grocery store. Me and the boys are right here.”

Dallon leaned over to Emma who had taken a seat next to him. She seemed pretty freaked out and things were only about to get crazier, so Dallon took it upon himself to fill her in.

“She gets confused when she wakes up, so she’ll be pretty agitated,” Dallon explained. “That’s normal for her,” he said kindly with a soft smile. That’s Dad-Dallon, always wanting to make sure everyone is comfortable and prepared.

“Okay, thanks Dallon,” She replied with a respectful and understanding nod. She realized by the look on Dallon’s face that she had just called him by his first name--but he had never introduced himself. She pinked up and Dallon knew she obviously had recognized the band. He smiled again, trying to let her know it was fine.

You’re becoming more conscious so Brendon and Zack move back a bit to give you space. You shift nervously onto your back and gaze up, trying to make sense of the harsh fluorescent lights and textured ceiling tiles. You don’t recognize them. You start to sit up and you don’t recognize anything at all. You see a figure by your knees.

Zack notices that you are looking at him and he tries to speak to you, but you can’t hear him. You whimper and pull away from him. The more you look around, the more you realize how foreign your surroundings are. Nothing was making any sense.

You try to sit up fully but your coordination is off. Something is burning, stinging in your mouth. You cry out in confusion and feel tears threatening to flow. Your fear grew and you couldn’t find any reassurance.

“Br--” You try, barely even coherent, searching for the one person who always made you feel safe. “Bren?!” you panic.

“It’s okay,” Brendon tried to get your attention. You can hardly hear, especially over your hectic breathing. Brendon shifts into your line of sight and it takes you a moment to realize.

“Y/n,” he sang to you. You immediately look to him and silence yourself. “It’s me baby, I’m here,” he said gently with a reassuring nod. Your eyes searched his for a moment, waiting for everything to click.

“Bren,” You breathe, still kind of unsure.

“I’m right here, Y/n,” he cooed. You nod slowly glancing around and back to him. “We were shopping and you had a little seizure, so we’re hanging out in the store’s break room for a minute until you feel better,” he broke the situation down so it could be easily understood. He moved close enough for you to touch him for when you were ready. 

You look around again and recognize the boys. Your eyes fall upon a strange face and you withdraw a bit. Zack sees where you are looking and jumped in to reassure you.

“That’s Emma,” Zack explained, “She’s the store manager so she came to hang out with us too.”

You look at Zack and back to the girl. She smiles at you gently.

“Hi Y/n,” She said softly. You acknowledged her greeting wordlessly as your body relaxed. Her feminine voice was very comforting. You go back to thinking.

“Grocery store,” You said quietly to yourself, putting the pieces together.

“Mhm,” Brendon affirmed. Your face falls and you look to Brendon.

“Oh no, you’re anxious!” You whisper with great concern as you realize you were in Brendon’s least favorite place. Brendon smiled at you.

“Don’t worry about me baby, I’m fine,” He told you with a small chuckle. Brendon found it adorable that he was your first priority, even when seizure drunk. This was typical for you: caring so much about other people, always acutely aware of how everyone around you felt. It was one of the things Brendon loved about you.

All of the sudden, you’re about to vomit. The uneasy feeling comes over you and it immediately shows.

“Bren, I’m gonna throw up,” You panicked, sitting up more and moving frantically.

“Okay,” He quickly calmed you as he placed his hand on your arm and pivoted back to look for something you could puke in. Emma had already sprang up, grabbing the trash can in the corner. In one smooth motion she was there to place it under your chin just in time. You throw up a couple of times, with bloody swirls running through it.

“It’s alright, sweetheart,” Emma soothed quietly, purely out of reflex, while Brendon held your hair.

The cut on your tongue reopened and started to bleed again.

When you’re done, Emma removes the trash bin from your lap and Zack hands off some paper towels to Brendon. You start to cry, the feeling of acid on your cut burns so badly. You grip onto Brendon’s sweatshirt with one hand while the other flies up to cover your mouth. You are trying to prevent cries from escaping.

“Ow,” you still managed to squeak through your tears.

“Do you have water or anything?” Zack asked Emma.

“Yeah, of course,” Emma nodded, walking to the fridge.

“It’s okay baby, I know it hurts,” Brendon said gently. Emma quickly returned with a bottle of water and unscrewed the cap, giving it to Brendon.

“Here baby, this will help,” Brendon held the bottle to you. The palm of your hand was bloody as you pull it off of your mouth. Brendon raises the bottle to your lips and helped you take a sip and Zack held up the trash can again for you to spit into.

Emma had the roll of paper towels now and gave some to Brendon before retreating back to her chair. You took it from him and wiped your chin and mouth, your tears slowing. You took another and pressed it to the side of your tongue, finding the source of the bleeding.

“Let me see, baby,” Brendon inquired. You removed the paper towel and stuck out your tongue a bit. He gently held your chin as he inspected the damage. “My little piranha,” He sighed, “You got a good bite this time, huh?”

You put the paper towel back onto it and nod. You realized Brendon had blood all over him--your blood. The end of his sleeve was the worst of it, but then there was some down his front and his hands. You looked down and saw some had gotten on the couch too.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry!” You apologize, looking to Brendon, then Emma. You were so seizure drunk, you didn’t even notice how the paper towel in your mouth was jumbling your speech.

“It’s okay,” Brendon replied, suppressing a giggle.

“Yeah, now we can get a new couch!” Emma joked.

“Oh...” You pause to think. “Then you’re welcome!” You reply weakly with a smirk. This earns a laugh from everyone. You reach out for Brendon and he remembers what you like. He gets up, sitting behind you on the couch and pulling you close to his chest. You snuggle in like usual.

“Is the bleeding slowing down?” He asks. You pull the paper towel off the cut and see a minimal amount of blood on the white napkin. You nod and cover it again. You sigh, clearly exhausted.

“Just take your time, Y/n,” Brendon stroked your arm, “Rest, okay?” You nod against his light gray sweatshirt. You follow his advice.

Brendon thinks back to the tattoos he saw on Emma’s wrist. One exclamation point made of circus lights, one made of flowers, one of cogs and gears, and one out of colorful smoke. He decides to pick on her a little.

“So,” Brendon looked to Emma, “Are you going to add Death of a Bachelor?”

Emma looked at him, completely flustered.

“To your tattoos?” he clarified, pointing to her arm.

“Wha--I uh,” She glances down at her wrist, her face turning bright red. When did he notice? Emma thought to herself.

Everyone is looking to her curiously and she glanced around with question in her eyes.

“Go ahead, show them!” Brendon encourages, “It’s really cool!”

She pulls her sleeve up and Dallon tilts his head to examine it.

“Oh that’s awesome!” Dallon agrees, “One for each album.”

“Can I see?” Zack asks.

She leans forward, extending her arm. You, Zack and Brendon all look before she turns to show Kenny and Dan who have lined up beside her. Everyone oohed and aahed, nodding in appreciation.

“Yeah, are you going to added Death of a Bachelor?” Kenny asked again enthusiastically.

“Yeah, I um, I w-was thinking,” She stammered, still so incredibly shocked. She nervously laughed to herself, deciding to restart her thought all together. “I was thinking of maybe an, uh, octopus arm, or...” She seemed unsure, hoping they didn’t find the idea lame.

“That’s awesome!” Brendon replied. She smiled, relieved to have their approval.

“Not gonna lie, I’ve been listening to you guys since I was 14,” she bit at her lip with an embarrassed kind of expression.

“Hey, that’s so cool that you’ve been with us so long,” Brendon said sincerely.

You suddenly chime in.

“I like you.”

You sound like a toddler as you make your declaration, the seizure drunk clearly not worn off quite yet. They all laugh quietly.

“Well I like you too,” Emma chuckled. You smiled approvingly. “I knew you guys were going to be in Portland for your show tomorrow, but I wasn’t really expecting you guys to show up at my store,” She giggled nervously.

“Are you coming?” Brendon asked.

“No, it wasn’t really...” She pauses, embarrassed to admit, “it wasn’t really in the budget for me this year.”

“We can fix that,” Zack responded. Emma turned to look at him. “Pretty sure we have some tickets and a VIP pass with your name on it.” Emma looked shocked.

“Oh my god--” Emma said, shaking her head.

“It’s the least we can do,” Brendon added.

“I didn’t... Wow,” She stuttered, unsure of what to say, “Oh my god, thank you!”

“You’re so welcome!” Brendon flashed that big smile you love. It made you giggle a little. Brendon looked down at you. “How are you feeling, baby?”

“Tired,” You list off, “nauseous.”

“You feel like you’re going to throw up again?” Brendon asked calm but rushed.

“No,” You shake your head, “Just gross.”

“Okay,” he stroked your arm.

“I wanna go home,” you said drowsily. Brendon knew what you meant.

“Yeah? You ready to go home?” He asked gently.

“I think I’m ready to goooooo,” You sing quietly, painfully off key on purpose, “Oh ohohoh oh ohohoh.”

“You’re too much,” Brendon chuckles, your seizure drunkness never loses its charm. Everyone starts to mobilize.

“Here, I can take your number,” Zack said aside to Emma and they exchanged information.

“Come here baby,” Brendon bent down and you wrapped your arms around him as he lifts you up. You cling on and sigh contently.

You all made your way out of the break room. You turned a couple heads, seeing as it was kind of weird to be carried through the store, but people left you alone.

Emma escorted you to the exit.

“Thank you so much, Emma,” Brendon said in earnest.

“Of course!” She responded happily.

“Really, we can’t thank you enough,” he replied.

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” She directed to you.

“Thank you,” You smiled drowsily and impulsively added, “You’re pretty.”

“Aw thank you!” She laughed.

“Oh my god you need a nap,” Brendon chuckles to you.

Everyone else said thank you to her.

“See you tomorrow!” Brendon called. Emma was beaming with excitement.

“See you tomorrow!” She waved and squealed a little.

Brendon climbed on the bus and took you to your bed. He places you down and you wince a little.

“Ow,” you strain.

“What hurts baby?” Brendon asked with quiet concern.

“Just sore,” you reply simply. He nods.

“How about your mouth?” He inquired.

“Hurts,” you respond.

“Think you can still sleep?” he asked.

“Mhm,” you nod, eyes fluttering shut. He slips into bed next to you and you place your arm across his chest.

“Okay, I’ll be right here baby,” He soothed you, running his fingers through your hair.

You fall fast asleep.

A/N: There you have it. Hope you liked Emma :) Let me know what you thought! Will the internet find out about the reader’s secret? How would she deal with it getting out? Stay tuned :) Like and reblog if you’re feelin’ it!

Scavenger hunt key: https://iwriteficsnottragediesladies.tumblr.com/hunt

[megaphonemonday]

Prompt Request: it would be greatly appreciated :) Ginny plays a game of "never have I ever" with Evelyn and some of the Padre's WAGS. And learns that one WAG had a fling with Mike.

Okay, so I’m actually really interested in when Ginny realized that her teenage crush/idolization of Mike had become something more. Because I don’t think there’s any way that she walks out on a first date with a guy she seems to like a lot without having realized that she feels something more for him than she does her other teammates. 

Also, I couldn’t figure out an organic way to get them all playing “Never Have I Ever,” but if that’s important to you check out guys like you (which has lots of smut as a bonus if you’re into that)

just like a ring of fire | ao3

“C’mon, Ginny,” Evelyn practically whined. “You have to be in need of some serious girl time. You’ve been cooped up on a bus with just gross boys for too long. I can’t even imagine how that bus smells.”

“Like too much Axe and Drakkar Noir.”

Her friend’s nose wrinkled and Ginny had to laugh, covering her mouth with her hand. It was only half true, but she liked how easy it was to gross Evelyn out. 

And it wasn’t as if Ev was wrong. She had been stewing in a lot of testosterone lately. Just, Ev’s alternative didn’t seem much more appealing.

Sensing Ginny’s ambivalence, Evelyn wheedled, “You haven’t even met most of them yet.”

“Do I need to? It’s not like that many of them liked me back in San Antonio or El Paso.”

Evelyn flapped her hand. “That was the minors.”

“You’re telling me the stakes lower for WAGs when y’all hit the big leagues?”

Evelyn, though clearly stumped by that, refused to retreat. 

“Ginny,” she pleaded, doing a remarkable impression of Gabe and Marcus begging for another piggy back ride. “I already told them you’re coming. Don’t turn me into a liar!”

“That sounds like a you problem, Ev,” she replied, cursing the fact that she could already feel herself softening. Evelyn might be immune to guilt, but Ginny was not. Especially not when her friend asked so little of her. 

“What did you want me to say? They were driving me nuts asking about you!”

Ginny narrowed her eyes. “Asking what exactly?”

The innocent expression on Evelyn’s face could’ve earned an Oscar it was so earnest, but it still didn’t fool Ginny for one second. She waited until Evelyn broke. 

“Ugh, fine!” she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air for good measure. “There may or may not be a few—just a few!—worries about their husbands and boyfriends suddenly spending all this time with a pretty, single girl.” At Ginny’s outraged look, she hurried to continue, “I tried to tell them there was nothing to worry about—you’re not that cute.”

As intended, Ginny rolled her eyes, some of her annoyance draining away. Some, but nothing close to all. 

“What about my code?” she demanded. “Didn’t you tell them about that?”

“I tried, G,” Ev replied, gentle. “But since you never slept with my husband, despite your many chances, I’m apparently not a trustworthy source. Or I’m trying to keep your options open so you don’t move onto Blip? I’m honestly not sure what the thought process is.”

A few humorless chuckles escaped Ginny’s mouth. “Figures,” she muttered, tugging at her lip in frustration.

“You know why it’s gotta be you. It doesn’t matter what I or Amelia or even your teammates tell them. These women aren’t going to relax until they’ve assessed the threat for themselves.” 

“Threat? Ev, I’m just here to play ball!”

“You know that and I know that, but they don’t. Yet. But you come in and set their minds at ease, tell them how much worse sharing a clubhouse with 24 guys is than sharing a bathroom with your brother growing up, and they’ll realize that you have no interest and chill out.” 

Ginny sighed. Unfair as it was, she really did need the WAGs on her side. The more of them that liked her, the less chance there was of stupid, unfounded rumors spreading. Both around the clubhouse and into the league. The last thing she wanted was TMZ running gossip from “unnamed sources close to the team” about how she was blowing her teammates to make up for blowing a game. 

“Fine,” she agreed, reluctant but willing to admit her friend was right.

“It really won’t be that bad,” Evelyn smiled encouragingly. “Honestly, it’s only a couple who have said anything. And besides, I’ve seen you charm the chaps off a bar full of bikers, Ginny; a few WAGs should be no problem at all.”

She nodded in reply and tried not to think that she’d take that bar of leather-clad bikers any day.

They settled on a night that the guys had their own form of bonding. Even though Blip and even Lawson had told her to come along, Ginny declined. Even when Lawson raised one cocky eyebrow and asked, “Why? Hot date?” to goad her into admitting—what? That she planned on going back to her hotel room and pigging out on ice cream sundaes? Or that she really did have a date? 

Sometimes, she just didn’t get him. Which only made her want to know more.

“I guess if you think Evelyn is hot, then yeah,” she drawled, rolling her eyes. 

Mike’s eyes glazed over a bit at the thought, his jaw hanging open just wide enough to put his wad of gum on display. Ginny felt a flush crawling up her chest, embarrassed and maybe—just a little—intrigued at what was going through her captain’s mind right then. 

It wasn’t until Blip warned, “Think very carefully about how you answer, man,” that Mike snapped out of the daze. 

“Well, uh,” he practically stuttered, gaze flicking to Blip’s glowering face before it bounced away in a blink. At no point did he look anywhere near Ginny’s direction, but that just made it easier to see his ears burning a dull pink. “Out of all the happily married women in San Diego, you couldn’t do better, Baker.”

“Damn straight,” Blip muttered, though it was hard to make out over the force of Ginny’s guffaws.

God, they were easy.

Both men bore her laughter grumpily, sitting in nearly mirror images of each other at their respective lockers: feet braced against the ground, arms crossed over chests and frowns planted on their faces. Every time she looked at them, the urge to stop laughing died a quick death. Soon, other Padres were glancing over, even chuckling themselves, though Ginny was sure none of them really got the joke. 

Finally, having taken enough abuse, Mike pushed to his feet, rolling his eyes. He wandered off, probably to have Kiki realign his back so he could actually enjoy his boy’s night. 

Ginny watched him go, giggles finally fading away. 

It wasn’t until Blip cleared his throat that Ginny realized she’d been staring. As cooly as she could, she turned her attention to Blip. He watched her with an inscrutable expression on his face and she did her best not to fidget under the scrutiny.

Finally, he shook his head, spinning back towards his cubby. 

“Tell Ev I’m not bailing her ass out of jail if things get outta control tonight,” was all he said. 

Ginny remained rooted to the spot for a moment, sure he wasn’t going to let her off the hook this easily. But Blip didn’t turn back around and she wasn’t about to look this gift horse in its mouth. 

“Will do,” she replied, hoisting her backpack higher on her shoulders and beating a hasty retreat.

Slowly, but surely, Ginny was winning over the group of uncertainly suspicious women gathered in the Sanders house. It helped that Evelyn had been right, there really only a few women who’d actually been worried about what her presence on the team meant, maybe three or four out of the twelve Ev had invited. They were pretty easy to single out in the group of happy chatterers. 

So, while Ginny only had to win over a few, they were all curious about her. 

Intensely curious.

“So, Ginny,” smiled one of them. Lauren, she thought, though there was also a Laura somewhere around, too. “How are you settling in? It wasn’t too hard to leave El Paso behind, was it?”

She heard the insinuation behind the words. Did you leave a boyfriend behind? Still, Ginny smiled pleasantly and took a sip of the margarita Evelyn had pushed into her hand as soon as she walked in the door. Not the exact one, of course, this had to be her third. At least. 

“It’s an adjustment,” she replied truthfully. “Not just the city, but getting used to a new team, their weird, gross habits.”

An appreciative laugh went up around the group. 

“I’ve said it before, Ginny, and I’ll say it again,” Evelyn announced, “I don’t know how you put up with all of them at once. God knows I love Blip, but sometimes he’s such a dude.”

“It helps that I get my own dressing room, now,” Ginny allowed with a grin. 

“So you don’t—” that was Laura, though she cut herself off with a flush. Ginny knew what was coming next. Hell, Evelyn had asked her this exact question herself. She waited for Laura to get over her embarrassment and finish, “you don’t see anything?”

A few stray giggles went up around the gathering, but Ginny knew they’d all be hanging on her every word. 

This was it. This was where she set their minds at ease. Honestly, she was just relieved it hadn’t taken longer.

“God, no,” she answered, definitive and immediate.

“Never?”

“Not up here,” she replied, knowing that honesty would get her further than trying to seem entirely innocent. “I mean, down in the minors, I barely had a curtained off area to change in, but it’s not like I was looking, you know?”

“I told y’all,” Evelyn said, a little smug. “Ginny’s got a code.”

“Yep. Don’t date ballplayers.”

“Not even once?” That was Sandra, who, if Ginny remembered correctly, was dating Widener. She couldn’t blame the woman for being a little leery, having seen the third baseman in action. Still, she didn’t have to act like Ginny was the problem. 

“Well, there’s always a reason for a rule,” she hedged, hoping they would leave it alone. 

Thankfully, someone turned to the woman next to her, “That sounds like a rule you should have.”

“What can I say? I have a type!” the blonde—Jamie? Jenny? J-something-y.—giggled. Ginny thought she remembered her waiting for Hanan at the player’s entrance a few times. 

“Baseball player’s not a type, Jessie,” her friend sniffed. “I mean, how far apart can you get between Sam and Mike Lawson?”

“Lawson?” 

The name was out of Ginny’s mouth before she could stop it. 

“Oh, yeah,” Jessie replied with a shrug. “That was in his serious hound dog phase—and before I even met Sam. Believe it or not, he’s gotten way better than he used to be, right after the separation.”

Ginny nodded and was glad the conversation moved on. 

Mike’s reputation was no secret. Ginny had heard more than enough locker room talk to know that the man was no Boy Scout. And even though she vividly remembered the brunette who dropped him off before her first road trip, she’d never been confronted so… personally with the evidence of it. That was the only reason her stomach turned at this bit of information. That was the reason she felt like her lungs had shrunk, making it so hard to breathe.

It had nothing to do with the fact that when the guys talked about this stuff in the clubhouse, it was always accompanied by jeering and hoots of laughter. It had nothing to do that she could pretend it was all a joke.

It definitely didn’t have anything to do with the how it had to be a joke. Ginny didn’t want to consider the alternatives. 

That she was jealous of this woman. For getting that with Mike, even if she hadn’t been smart enough to hold onto him. 

Given a shot, Ginny wouldn’t make that same mistake.

A buzz in her pocket mercifully pulled her out of those thoughts. When she saw its sender, though, she rethought the meaning of mercy. 

MikeIvy’s on Vine

Her heart began galloping along in her chest, just at the sight of his name. (Which she now realized happened every time he called or texted, as had happened with surprising regularity since the All Star Game last week.) And with the slightest provocation, that galloping transformed into a veritable stampeded. The memory of his smile. The fact that he was inviting her out again. That he wanted her there.

For a million reasons, Ginny knew this wasn’t her shot. That her shot with Mike, if it ever came, if he ever ended up feeling anything for her, was way down the line. Certainly not within her first season in the majors, and probably not even her second or third, not until Mike was out of the game for good. And who knew how long that would take? 

But none of that stopped her from feeling like maybe, in spite of it all, it could be. 

A flush began to spread up her neck, and sucking down the last of her margarita did nothing to help. If anything, it just made her thoughts swirl faster, spinning right out of her head, out of the house even, and into the night. Zeroed in on one person. 

Oh, hell. 

What had she gotten herself into?

Eventually, after another two or three drinks and dishing out all the best gossip she had, Ginny’d succeeded in winning most of the WAGs to her side. More than a few of them won her over, too. Which was a good thing. She could always use more friends. 

Still, for the back half of the evening, most of her thoughts were occupied by one friend in particular. 

Which was why she didn’t direct her Uber back to the Omni, but rather Ivy’s on Vine. 

She was allowed entrance easily enough, even taking a selfie with the bouncer. 

Like he was North, and her eyes a compass needle, Ginny tracked down Mike within moments of stepping inside. 

He sat at the bar, though he faced out into the room, no doubt surveying his teammates and making sure no one was getting too rowdy. A beer bottle dangled between the fingertips of his free hand while the other arm propped him up. 

In no time, Ginny was slipping onto the stool next to his, though she couldn’t quite remember crossing the floor to get there. She knew Mike had seen her, though he waited until she’d ordered a beer of her own to say anything. 

“Girls night packed it in early?” he asked, taking a swig from his bottle.  

“Yeah,” she breathed, unwilling or unable to take her eyes off of him. She couldn’t count the number of times she’d seen his face, it was nearly as familiar as her own, but suddenly it was like she was looking at him with fresh eyes, or, at the very least, through a new lens. With new information she couldn’t deny any longer. The bob of his throat as he swallowed, the way he couldn’t quite keep his head from nodding along to the music, his eyes scanning the crowd, no doubt cataloguing the positions and status of each of their teammates: it was all suddenly so fascinating. 

How hadn’t she really realized before what she was feeling? This was no hero worship, no six-year-old crush. This was far more dangerous than that.

His attention slid back to her and he raised an eyebrow. “What?” he asked, “I got something on my face?”

It was on the tip of her tongue, this realization. Like it had a mind of its own, she wanted to blurt it out, get it out into the open, hating the way it crowded against her teeth like a mouthful of marbles. Fuck the consequences, she didn’t want to be the only one bearing this stupid, stupid feeling threatening to detonate her whole life.

Before she could, though, Mike’s eyes slid to the side. Just for a second, but long enough for Ginny to register the way his gaze trailed appreciatively over the pretty redhead making eyes at him from a nearby table. 

By the time he returned his attention to her, Ginny had beat back the tide of disappointment that had swelled up her throat, into her mouth. At least it washed away the words she’d nearly let spill. 

“Yeah,” she finally replied, fingers curling around her glass, “but I’m pretty sure a razor and some shaving cream will take care of it.”

He shook his head, despairing. “When are you gonna come around on the beard, Baker? This thing kills with the—”

“Okay, ew!” she laughed, hoping the churning of her gut didn’t show on her face. “If you finish that sentence with ‘ladies,’ I’m basically obligated to throw my drink on you.”

Mike laughed, too. “What if I was gonna say ‘fans?’”

“Ugh,” she groaned, wrinkling her nose. “I don’t know why, but that’s somehow worse.” 

 Her captain just shook his head, cheeks appling under the thick cover of his beard. “Don’t try and pretend you’re not my biggest fan, rookie,” he teased. Ginny froze for a moment, wondering if he somehow knew in spite of the fact that she hadn’t said anything. “I know all about your posters.”

She thawed, chuckling a little nervously. “Oh, it’s posters now? You’re really letting your imagination run wild, aren’t you?”

He nodded absently, but his attention was back on the redhead. She’d moved a table closer, talking to a guy there, but the way she was leaning, that put all her—very generous—cleavage on display. Pointed right in their direction. Well, in Mike’s direction. 

Ginny swallowed and clambered off her stool. 

“Where are you going?” he asked, just enough confusion in his voice to prod right at the ball of disappointment she’d swallowed down. 

“I’m calling it a night,” she replied, signaling the bartender for her check. As she paid, she couldn’t help but add, “Besides, I think there’s someone who wants your attention more than I do.”

When she finally brought herself to look at him, his eyes were narrowed. Ginny rolled hers and jerked her chin towards the woman, who was now watching them with open interest. 

Lawson frowned, “Baker, I’m—”

“Nah, go on,” she said, unwilling to know how that sentence was going to end. “Make a fan’s night.”

Before he could say anything else, Ginny was walking away. Not once did she give into the impulse to turn back and look. There was no scenario where she’d feel better by looking. Either he’d be wrapped up in that pretty, available woman or he wouldn’t. 

Ginny was fine not knowing. 

She just wished she could go back and not know some other things, too. 

[mavengers]

Rumors

Sebastian Stan x reader

Based on: Rumors - Jake Miller

Warnings: mentions of sex (not really), kissing, drinking, fluff.

Words: 1.3k

All credit goes to Marvel.

A/N: Hey guys, I’m so sorry I haven’t been posted. I have been swamped with ideas for fics and absolutely no idea where to begin. I have also been busy preparing for my birthday tomorrow and arranging family parties. Thankfully, this one is out and I really hope you guys like it!

The first time was an accident, I swear. I was in New York for a photo-shoot and had spent the night at The Carlyle. Sebastian Stan had just happened to stay in the same hotel on the same night and got caught with particularly messy hair and a pair of sunglasses the next morning. Granted, they were the ‘suspicious glasses’. Yeah, you know the ones- the ones that are completely blacked out so no one can see their eyes.

Because of Sebastian’s appearance, paparazzi had hidden outside the hotel waiting to see what lucky girl spent the night with the Romanian Sex God. And of course I was the next girl to walk outside, stepping out in full-on photo-shoot wardrobe, looking like I was doing the goddamn walk of shame from a five-star hotel. “Sebastian Stan + Y/N Y/L/N’s Steamy Night in NY!” was plastered all over newsstands and social media only hours later.

Then it was an interview that I was brought up in. This one wasn’t Seb’s fault. No, this was the doing of Anthony Mackie, a close mutual friend who I had worked with in another movie, What’s Your Number?

The interviewer, a perky young redhead, made her rounds doing the usual questions for the cast before she got to the more personal questions. One, of course, was about Sebastian’s love life and if he had any lucky lady waiting for him at home once filming had finished. Before Sebastian could even open his mouth to answer the question, Mackie’s hand clapped down on Seb’s shoulder. “I’ll take this one,” he started, earning a laugh from the interview and the rest of the cast. “Yes, he does.”

He never even said my name and once again, Sebastian and I were trending on twitter. Perez Hilton was eating us up like we were his favorite dessert and he had an unlimited amount of it and didn’t have to share.

Up until two weeks ago, my public relationship with Sebastian had just been two people in the same place at the wrong time. It had gotten to the point where my publicist was nearly begging me to make a statement and say that I was single so her phone would stop blowing up with questions from news reporters. I even dodged some phone calls of my own from friends who would call me up, asking if I was hooking up Bucky Barnes.

But whether it was fate or coincidence, we kept bumping into each other at parties, red carpet events, or even just on the street if we were working in the same place. And sure enough, someone was always there to catch a picture. One of them, taken on a chilly day in Washington, was a picture of the two of us laughing and apologizing after we literally bumped into each other. We were pulled apart at the time of the photo, but we were still caught in a friendly exchange which did make us look like a couple.

The next time I ran into Sebastian Stan was at the airport. I was on my way to board a plane back to New York and he had just gotten off his plane coming from Orlando. This time, I had asked him a question and as he furrowed his brows in thought, we heard the unmistakable click of a camera. Yep, “Y/N AND SEBASTIAN IN HEATED ARGUMENT AT AIRPORT.”

I’d say the article was out for maybe five minutes before my publicist called me threatening to quit if I kept having unplanned run-ins with Sebastian. “Y/N, I swear on my grandmother’s grave that if I get another call from TMZ asking me to confirm your relationship with Sebastian, I’m forwarding them straight to your number.”

Now it was New Year’s Eve and I was currently attending Gwyneth Paltrow’s party. I had on a mermaid-style nearly-sheer silver gown that hugged all of my curves and spilled out beautifully on the ground around me.

At some point during the night, I had acquired a hideous, magenta-colored feather boa that I had dramatically draped in between my two elbows. I was many drinks in by this point, so it was really no surprise that I would’ve picked up such a cheesy accessory.

I had made my rounds during the night, greeting other celebrities and doing the typical mingling. I was in the middle of talking to Mackie when I noticed he kept looking over my shoulder before looking back at me and winking. I followed his gaze.

Sebastian was out on the balcony, a cigarette dangling between his lips as he held a lighter underneath it. Once the flame was lit, he quickly tucked the lighter back into his pocket before taking a long drag of it.

Normally, smoking disgusted me. But something about Sebastian made it seem classy. Like a old-school Hollywood day-dream.

Mackie nudged me, laughing as he caught me staring at Sebastian like I was a deer in the headlights. I glared at him, but welcomingly took the shot that he handed me. He tipped his up in the air and I clinked mine against his before we each downed the burning amber-colored liquid.

I was already fairly tipsy, but a new jolt of confidence struck through me as I winked at Anthony before weaving my way through crowds and out to the balcony. The door was already opened and Sebastian had his back turned to me, looking out over the vast expanse of land in front of him. No one else was out on the balcony besides him, and now me.

“You’ve made my publicist very mad, Mr. Stan.” I all but purred as I came to stand next to him, arching my back as I rested my arms on the cold, metal ledge. He smirked as he took another pull from the cigarette before tapping out the ashes against his finger.

“I’ll be sure to send her some flowers,” He said, turning towards me. His fingers flitted over my hip before grabbing onto it with his hand. “You know, we have given the paparazzi quite the show over the past few weeks. A lot of people think we’re together.”

“Oh, do they?” I asked, smirking along as he continued his game.

“Yeah. See, normally rumors like that bother me. It feels like an invasion of privacy. But for some reason, the rumors between you and me never seem to bother me. In fact, I want to show you off.” He dropped his cigarette between our feet, using the excuse of stomping out the lit end to step closer to me. I could smell the cigarette stench mixed with the Listerine-scent of alcohol on his breath and I know he could smell it on mine. His body heat radiated on to me and it made me forget all about the freezing winter weather.

“Then do it. Show the world that I’m yours.”

With the permission, the hand that rested on my hip slipped around to press against my back, pushing my chest further into him as his other hand slid up my arm and cupped my cheek. His lips harshly crashed against mine. I vaguely heard a countdown going on inside, but I had been counting down to this kiss for weeks now and this was far more enticing than being able to flip the page on your calendar. My arms slid up around his neck to pull him even closer to me. We both jumped, breaking apart when fireworks blasted without warning, causing us to laugh. I watched more as Sebastian licked his lips.

“At least now the tabloids have something real to talk about.” He mumbled as he pulled me in for another heated kiss.

Happy New Years to me.

[sheminecrafts]

Mutiny at HQ Trivia fails to oust CEO

This week’s banishment of host Scott Rogowsky was merely a symptom of the ongoing struggle to decide who will lead HQ Trivia. According to multiple sources, over half of the startup’s staff signed an internal petition to depose CEO Rus Yusupov who they saw as mismanaging the company. But Yusupov then fired some core supporters of the mutiny, leading to a downward spiral of morale that mirrors HQ’s plummeting App Store rank.

TechCrunch spoke to multiple sources familiar with HQ Trivia’s internal troubles to piece together how the live video mobile game went from blockbuster to nearly bust. Two sources said HQ recently only had around $6 million in the bank but was burning over $1 million per month, meaning its runway could be dwindling. But its early investors are reluctant to hand Yusupov any more cash. “

Employees petitioned to remove HQ Trivia’s CEO Rus Yusupov

HQ reimagined gaming and mobile entertainment with the launch of its 12-question trivia game in August 2017 where players all competed live in twice-daily shows with anyone who got all the answers right split a cash jackpot. The games felt urgent since you could only participate at designated times, fun to play against friends or strangers, and winning carried a significance no single-player or non-stop online game could match.

When TechCrunch wrote the first coverage of HQ Trivia in October 2017, it had just 3500 concurrent players. But by January it had climbed to the #3 game and #6 overall app in the App Store, and grown to 2.38 million players by March. Quickly, copycats from China and Facebook entered the market. But they all lacked HQ’s secret weapon — its plucky host comedian Scott Rogowsky. Affectionately awarded nicknames like Quiz Daddy, Quiz Khalifa, Host Malone, and Trap Trebek from the “HQties” who played daily, he was the de facto face of the startup.

Yet HQ had some shaky foundations. Co-founder Colin Kroll, who’d also started Vine with Yusupov and sold it to Twitter, had been fired from Twitter after 18 months for being a bad manager, Recode reported. He’d also picked up a reputation of being creepy around female employees, as well as Vine stars, TechCrunch has learned. Rapid growth and an investigation by early HQ investor Jeremy Liew that found no egregious misconduct by Kroll paved the way for a $15 million investment. The round was led by Founders Fund’s Cyan Bannister, and it valued HQ at over $100 million.

Yusupov failed to translate that cash into sustained growth and product innovation. His public behavior had already raised flags. He yelled at a Daily Beast reporter after the outlet’s Taylor Lorenz interviewed Rogowsky without Yusupov’s approval, threatening to fire the host. “You’re putting Scott’s job in jeopardy. Is that what you want? . . .  Please read me your story word for word,” Yusupov said. When he learned Rogowsky had expressed his preference for salad restaurant chain Sweetgreen, Yusupov shouted “He cannot say that! We do not have a brand deal with Sweetgreen! Under no circumstances can he say that.” The next day, Yusupov falsely claimed he’d never threatened Rogowsky’s job.

With HQ’s bank account full, sources say Yusupov was extremely slow to make decisions, allowing HQ to stagnate. The novelty of playing trivia for money via phone has begun to wear off, and people increasingly ignored HQ’s push notifications to join its next game. But beyond bringing in some guest hosts and the option to buy a second chance after a wrong answer, HQ ceased to evolve. HQ fell to the #196 game on iOS and the #585 overall app as concurrent players waned.

That’s when things started to get a bit Game Of Thrones.

Pawns In A CEO War

Liew pushed for HQ to swap Kroll into the CEO spot in September 2018 while moving Yusupov to Chief Creative Officer, which was confirmed despite an HR complaint against Kroll for aggressive management. However, three sources tell TechCrunch that Yusupov pushed that HQ employee to file the complaint against Kroll. As the WSJ reported after Kroll’s death, that employee later left the startup because they felt that they’d been exploited. “There was definitely what felt like manipulation there, and that’s also why that employee resigned from the company.” one source said. Another source said that staffer “believed Rus used their unhappiness about work to use them as a pawn in his CEO war and not because Rus actually cared about resolving things.”

Cyan of Founders Fund stepped down from HQ’s board after the decision to swap out Yusupov due to her firm’s reputation of keeping founders in control, Recode’s Kurt Wagner reported. Sources say that despite Kroll’s reputation, the staff believed in him. “Colin loved HQ and was dedicated to all the employees more than Rus. Rus cares about Rus. Colin cared about the content” a source tells me. 

Three sources say that in a desperate ploy to retain power and prevent Kroll’s rise, Yusupov suggested Rogowsky, a comedian with no tech or management experience, be made CEO of HQ Trivia. He even suggested the company film a reality show about Rogowsky taking over. That idea was quickly shot down as preposterous.

“It was a very personal desperation tactic not to have Colin be CEO. It was not a professionally thought-out idea” a source tells me, though another said it was always hard to tell if Yusupov’s crazy ideas were jokes. Both Yusupov and HQ Trivia declined to respond to multiple requests for comment, but we’ll update if we hear back.

HQ Trivia co-founder Colin Kroll passed away in December

Then tragedy struck in December. Kroll, then CEO, was found dead in his apartment from a drug overdose. Employees were distraught over what would happen next. “Colin’s plan was to ship fast, and get new things out there” a source says, noting that Kroll had pushed for the release of HQ’s first new game type HQ Words modeled after Wheel Of Fortune. “He wasn’t perfect but in the time he was in charge, the ship started to turn, but when Rus took over again it was like the 9 months where we did nothing.”

Coup d’éHQ

By February 2019, HQ’s staff was fed up. Two sources confirm that 20 of the roughly 35 employees signed a letter asking the board to remove Yusupov and establish a new CEO. With HQ’s download rate continuing to sink, they feared he’d run the startup into the ground. One source suggested Yusupov might rather have seen the whole startup come crashing down with the blame placed on the product than have it come to light that he played a large hand in the fall. The tone of the letter, which was never formally delivered but sources believe the board knew of, wasn’t accusatory but a plea for transparency about the company’s future and the staff’s job security.

At a hastily convened all-hands meeting in late February, HQ investor Liew told the company his fund Lightspeed would support a search for a new CEO to replace Yusupov, and provide that new CEO with funding for 18 more months of runway. Liew told the staff he would step down from the board once that CEO was found, but the search continues and so Liew remains on HQ’s board.

“Mostly everyone was on Jeremy’s side as no one wanted to work under Rus. Jeremy wasn’t trying to screw him over the way Rus would screw other people over. He just wanted to do what was right, getting behind what everyone wanted” a source said of Liew. 

Instead, HQ’s board moved forward with instituting a new executive decision-making committee composed of Yusupov, HQ’s head of production Nick Gallo, and VP of engineering Ben Sheats. Yusupov would remain interim CEO, and he continued to cling to power and there’s been little transparency about the CEO replacement process. Until a new CEO is found, HQ must subsist on its existing funds. The staff is “always worried about running out of runway” and are given vague answers when they ask leadership about how much money is left.

On March 1st, the committee emerged from a meeting and fired three employees — two who had spearheaded the petition and been vocal about Yusupov’s failings.

One who wasn’t fired was Rogowsky, despite sources saying at one point he’d tried to organize the staff to go on strike. Other employees had been cautious about standing up to Yusupov. “Everyone was terrified of retaliation. Their fears have totally been validated” a source explains. Engineers and other staffers with strong employment prospects began to drain out of the company. Those left were just trying to hold onto their jobs. Without inspiring leadership or a strategy to reverse user shrinkage, recruiting replacements would prove difficult.

Yusupov remains on the board, along with Tinder CEO Elie Seidman who Yusupov appointed to his additional common seat. Liew retains his seat until the new CEO is found and given that seat. And Kroll’s seat appears to have gone to Lightspeed partner Merci Victoria Grace. Lightspeed and Cyan of Founders Fund declined to respond to requests for comment.

Losing Face

Tensions at HQ and a desire to diversify his prospects led Rogowsky to pick up a side gig hosting baseball talk show ChangeUp on the DAZN network, TMZ reported this week. He’d hoped to continue hosting HQ during its big weekend contests. But tensions with Yusupov and the CEO’s desire for the host to remain exclusively at HQ led negotiations to sour causing Rogowsky to leave the startup entirely. TechCrunch was first to report that he’s been replaced by former HQ guest host Matt Richards, who Yusupov bluntly told me Friday had polled higher than Rogowsky in a SurveyMonkey survey of HQ’s top players.

In tweets, Rogowsky revealed that that “Sadly, it won’t be possible for me to continue hosting HQ concurrently as I had hoped” noting, “I wasn’t given the courtesy of a farewell show.” Finding a way to preserve Rogowsky’s ties to HQ likely would have been best for the startup.  TechCrunch had raised the concern a year ago that unless Rogowsky was properly locked in with an adequate equity vesting schedule at HQ, he could leave. Or worse, he could be poached by Facebook, Snapchat, or YouTube to host an HQ competitor.

“Rus is a visionary but not a good leader. He is extremely manipulative in an unproductive way. He’s a dude who just cares a lot about his reputation” a source noted. “A lot of the negative sentiment amongst staff is the belief that he cares more about his reputation than the company itself.”

HQ’s next attempt to revive growth appears to be HQ Editor’s Picks, is described as “a new live show on your phone where our host shows funny viral videos and you decide on who gets paid.” Finally it seems willing to embrace the potential of interactive live video entertainment outside of trivia and puzzles. HQ Editor’s Picks will face an uphill battle, since HQ dropped out of the top 1500 iOS apps last month, according to App Annie. Sensor Tower estimates that HQ saw just 8 percent as many downloads in March 2019 as March 2018.

After the loss of its spirit animal Rogowsky, the employees’ chosen leader Kroll, the supervision of veteran investor Cyan, and its product momentum, tough questions are what remain for HQ Trivia. The company’s struggles have paralyzed its progress towards finding a new viral mechanic or game format that attracts users. While HQ Words is fun, it’s too similar to its trivia competition to change the startup’s trajectory. And all of the in-fighting could scare off any talent hoping to turn HQ around. Unfortunately, securing an extra life for the game will take a more than a $3.99 in-app purchase.

from iraidajzsmmwtv https://tcrn.ch/2GhqIzv via IFTTT

[technicalsolutions88]

This week’s banishment of host Scott Rogowsky was merely a symptom of the ongoing struggle to decide who will lead HQ Trivia. According to multiple sources, over half of the startup’s staff signed an internal petition to depose CEO Rus Yusupov who they saw as mismanaging the company. But Yusupov then fired some core supporters of the mutiny, leading to a downward spiral of morale that mirrors HQ’s plummeting App Store rank.

TechCrunch spoke to multiple sources familiar with HQ Trivia’s internal troubles to piece together how the live video mobile game went from blockbuster to nearly bust. Two sources said HQ recently only had around $6 million in the bank but was burning over $1 million per month, meaning its runway could be dwindling. But its early investors are reluctant to hand Yusupov any more cash. “

Employees petitioned to remove HQ Trivia’s CEO Rus Yusupov

HQ reimagined gaming and mobile entertainment with the launch of its 12-question trivia game in August 2017 where players all competed live in twice-daily shows with anyone who got all the answers right split a cash jackpot. The games felt urgent since you could only participate at designated times, fun to play against friends or strangers, and winning carried a significance no single-player or non-stop online game could match.

When TechCrunch wrote the first coverage of HQ Trivia in October 2017, it had just 3500 concurrent players. But by January it had climbed to the #3 game and #6 overall app in the App Store, and grown to 2.38 million players by March. Quickly, copycats from China and Facebook entered the market. But they all lacked HQ’s secret weapon — its plucky host comedian Scott Rogowsky. Affectionately awarded nicknames like Quiz Daddy, Quiz Khalifa, Host Malone, and Trap Trebek from the “HQties” who played daily, he was the de facto face of the startup.

Yet HQ had some shaky foundations. Co-founder Colin Kroll, who’d also started Vine with Yusupov and sold it to Twitter, had been fired from Twitter after 18 months for being a bad manager, Recode reported. He’d also picked up a reputation of being creepy around female employees, as well as Vine stars, TechCrunch has learned. Rapid growth and an investigation by early HQ investor Jeremy Liew that found no egregious misconduct by Kroll paved the way for a $15 million investment. The round was led by Founders Fund’s Cyan Bannister, and it valued HQ at over $100 million.

Yusupov failed to translate that cash into sustained growth and product innovation. His public behavior had already raised flags. He yelled at a Daily Beast reporter after the outlet’s Taylor Lorenz interviewed Rogowsky without Yusupov’s approval, threatening to fire the host. “You’re putting Scott’s job in jeopardy. Is that what you want? . . .  Please read me your story word for word,” Yusupov said. When he learned Rogowsky had expressed his preference for salad restaurant chain Sweetgreen, Yusupov shouted “He cannot say that! We do not have a brand deal with Sweetgreen! Under no circumstances can he say that.” The next day, Yusupov falsely claimed he’d never threatened Rogowsky’s job.

With HQ’s bank account full, sources say Yusupov was extremely slow to make decisions, allowing HQ to stagnate. The novelty of playing trivia for money via phone has begun to wear off, and people increasingly ignored HQ’s push notifications to join its next game. But beyond bringing in some guest hosts and the option to buy a second chance after a wrong answer, HQ ceased to evolve. HQ fell to the #196 game on iOS and the #585 overall app as concurrent players waned.

That’s when things started to get a bit Game Of Thrones.

Pawns In A CEO War

Liew pushed for HQ to swap Kroll into the CEO spot in September 2018 while moving Yusupov to Chief Creative Officer, which was confirmed despite an HR complaint against Kroll for aggressive management. However, three sources tell TechCrunch that Yusupov pushed that HQ employee to file the complaint against Kroll. As the WSJ reported after Kroll’s death, that employee later left the startup because they felt that they’d been exploited. “There was definitely what felt like manipulation there, and that’s also why that employee resigned from the company.” one source said. Another source said that staffer “believed Rus used their unhappiness about work to use them as a pawn in his CEO war and not because Rus actually cared about resolving things.”

Cyan of Founders Fund stepped down from HQ’s board after the decision to swap out Yusupov due to her firm’s reputation of keeping founders in control, Recode’s Kurt Wagner reported. Sources say that despite Kroll’s reputation, the staff believed in him. “Colin loved HQ and was dedicated to all the employees more than Rus. Rus cares about Rus. Colin cared about the content” a source tells me. 

Three sources say that in a desperate ploy to retain power and prevent Kroll’s rise, Yusupov suggested Rogowsky, a comedian with no tech or management experience, be made CEO of HQ Trivia. He even suggested the company film a reality show about Rogowsky taking over. That idea was quickly shot down as preposterous.

“It was a very personal desperation tactic not to have Colin be CEO. It was not a professionally thought-out idea” a source tells me, though another said it was always hard to tell if Yusupov’s crazy ideas were jokes. Both Yusupov and HQ Trivia declined to respond to multiple requests for comment, but we’ll update if we hear back.

HQ Trivia co-founder Colin Kroll passed away in December

Then tragedy struck in December. Kroll, then CEO, was found dead in his apartment from a drug overdose. Employees were distraught over what would happen next. “Colin’s plan was to ship fast, and get new things out there” a source says, noting that Kroll had pushed for the release of HQ’s first new game type HQ Words modeled after Wheel Of Fortune. “He wasn’t perfect but in the time he was in charge, the ship started to turn, but when Rus took over again it was like the 9 months where we did nothing.”

Coup d’éHQ

By February 2019, HQ’s staff was fed up. Two sources confirm that 20 of the roughly 35 employees signed a letter asking the board to remove Yusupov and establish a new CEO. With HQ’s download rate continuing to sink, they feared he’d run the startup into the ground. One source suggested Yusupov might rather have seen the whole startup come crashing down with the blame placed on the product than have it come to light that he played a large hand in the fall. The tone of the letter, which was never formally delivered but sources believe the board knew of, wasn’t accusatory but a plea for transparency about the company’s future and the staff’s job security.

At a hastily convened all-hands meeting in late February, HQ investor Liew told the company his fund Lightspeed would support a search for a new CEO to replace Yusupov, and provide that new CEO with funding for 18 more months of runway. Liew told the staff he would step down from the board once that CEO was found, but the search continues and so Liew remains on HQ’s board.

“Mostly everyone was on Jeremy’s side as no one wanted to work under Rus. Jeremy wasn’t trying to screw him over the way Rus would screw other people over. He just wanted to do what was right, getting behind what everyone wanted” a source said of Liew. 

Instead, HQ’s board moved forward with instituting a new executive decision-making committee composed of Yusupov, HQ’s head of production Nick Gallo, and VP of engineering Ben Sheats. Yusupov would remain interim CEO, and he continued to cling to power and there’s been little transparency about the CEO replacement process. Until a new CEO is found, HQ must subsist on its existing funds. The staff is “always worried about running out of runway” and are given vague answers when they ask leadership about how much money is left.

On March 1st, the committee emerged from a meeting and fired three employees — two who had spearheaded the petition and been vocal about Yusupov’s failings.

One who wasn’t fired was Rogowsky, despite sources saying at one point he’d tried to organize the staff to go on strike. Other employees had been cautious about standing up to Yusupov. “Everyone was terrified of retaliation. Their fears have totally been validated” a source explains. Engineers and other staffers with strong employment prospects began to drain out of the company. Those left were just trying to hold onto their jobs. Without inspiring leadership or a strategy to reverse user shrinkage, recruiting replacements would prove difficult.

Yusupov remains on the board, along with Tinder CEO Elie Seidman who Yusupov appointed to his additional common seat. Liew retains his seat until the new CEO is found and given that seat. And Kroll’s seat appears to have gone to Lightspeed partner Merci Victoria Grace. Lightspeed and Cyan of Founders Fund declined to respond to requests for comment.

Losing Face

Tensions at HQ and a desire to diversify his prospects led Rogowsky to pick up a side gig hosting baseball talk show ChangeUp on the DAZN network, TMZ reported this week. He’d hoped to continue hosting HQ during its big weekend contests. But tensions with Yusupov and the CEO’s desire for the host to remain exclusively at HQ led negotiations to sour causing Rogowsky to leave the startup entirely. TechCrunch was first to report that he’s been replaced by former HQ guest host Matt Richards, who Yusupov bluntly told me Friday had polled higher than Rogowsky in a SurveyMonkey survey of HQ’s top players.

In tweets, Rogowsky revealed that that “Sadly, it won’t be possible for me to continue hosting HQ concurrently as I had hoped” noting, “I wasn’t given the courtesy of a farewell show.” Finding a way to preserve Rogowsky’s ties to HQ likely would have been best for the startup.  TechCrunch had raised the concern a year ago that unless Rogowsky was properly locked in with an adequate equity vesting schedule at HQ, he could leave. Or worse, he could be poached by Facebook, Snapchat, or YouTube to host an HQ competitor.

“Rus is a visionary but not a good leader. He is extremely manipulative in an unproductive way. He’s a dude who just cares a lot about his reputation” a source noted. “A lot of the negative sentiment amongst staff is the belief that he cares more about his reputation than the company itself.”

HQ’s next attempt to revive growth appears to be HQ Editor’s Picks, is described as “a new live show on your phone where our host shows funny viral videos and you decide on who gets paid.” Finally it seems willing to embrace the potential of interactive live video entertainment outside of trivia and puzzles. HQ Editor’s Picks will face an uphill battle, since HQ dropped out of the top 1500 iOS apps last month, according to App Annie. Sensor Tower estimates that HQ saw just 8 percent as many downloads in March 2019 as March 2018.

After the loss of its spirit animal Rogowsky, the employees’ chosen leader Kroll, the supervision of veteran investor Cyan, and its product momentum, tough questions are what remain for HQ Trivia. The company’s struggles have paralyzed its progress towards finding a new viral mechanic or game format that attracts users. While HQ Words is fun, it’s too similar to its trivia competition to change the startup’s trajectory. And all of the in-fighting could scare off any talent hoping to turn HQ around. Unfortunately, securing an extra life for the game will take a more than a $3.99 in-app purchase.

from Social – TechCrunch https://tcrn.ch/2GhqIzv Original Content From: https://techcrunch.com

[fmservers]

Mutiny at HQ Trivia fails to oust CEO

This week’s banishment of host Scott Rogowsky was merely a symptom of the ongoing struggle to decide who will lead HQ Trivia. According to multiple sources, over half of the startup’s staff signed an internal petition to depose CEO Rus Yusupov who they saw as mismanaging the company. But Yusupov then fired three core supporters of the mutiny, leading to a downward spiral of morale that mirrors HQ’s plummeting App Store rank.

TechCrunch spoke to multiple sources familiar with HQ Trivia’s internal troubles to piece together how the live video mobile game went from blockbuster to nearly bust. Two sources said HQ recently only had around $6 million in the bank but was burning over $1 million per month, meaning its runway could be dwindling. But its early investors are reluctant to hand Yusupov any more cash. “

Employees petitioned to remove HQ Trivia’s CEO Rus Yusupov

HQ reimagined gaming and mobile entertainment with the launch of its 12-question trivia game in August 2017 where players all competed live in twice-daily shows with anyone who got all the answers right split a cash jackpot. The games felt urgent since you could only participate at designated times, fun to play against friends or strangers, and winning carried a significance no single-player or non-stop online game could match.

When TechCrunch wrote the first coverage of HQ Trivia in October 2018, it had just 3500 concurrent players. But by January it had climbed to the #3 game and #6 overall app in the App Store, and grown to 2.38 million players by March. Quickly, copycats from China and Facebook entered the market. But they all lacked HQ’s secret weapon — its plucky host comedian Scott Rogowsky. Affectionately awarded nicknames like Quiz Daddy, Quiz Khalifa, Host Malone, and Trap Trebek from the “HQties” who played daily, he was the de facto face of the startup.

Yet HQ had some shaky foundations. Co-founder Colin Kroll, who’d also started Vine with Yusupov and sold it to Twitter, had been fired from Twitter after 18 months for being a bad manager, Recode reported. He’d also picked up a reputation of being creepy around female employees, as well as Vine stars, TechCrunch has learned. Rapid growth and an investigation by early HQ investor Jeremy Liew that found no egregious misconduct by Kroll paved the way for a $15 million investment. The round was led by Founders Fund’s Cyan Bannister, and it valued HQ at over $100 million.

Yusupov failed to translate that cash into sustained growth and product innovation. His public behavior had already raised flags. He yelled at a Daily Beast reporter after the outlet’s Taylor Lorenz interviewed Rogowsky without Yusupov’s approval, threatening to fire the host. “You’re putting Scott’s job in jeopardy. Is that what you want? . . .  Please read me your story word for word,” Yusupov said. When he learned Rogowsky had expressed his preference for salad restaurant chain Sweetgreen, Yusupov shouted “He cannot say that! We do not have a brand deal with Sweetgreen! Under no circumstances can he say that.” The next day, Yusupov falsely claimed he’d never threatened Rogowsky’s job.

With HQ’s bank account full, sources say Yusupov was extremely slow to make decisions, allowing HQ to stagnate. The novelty of playing trivia for money via phone has begun to wear off, and people increasingly ignored HQ’s push notifications to join its next game. But beyond bringing in some guest hosts and the option to buy a second chance after a wrong answer, HQ ceased to evolve. HQ fell to the #196 game on iOS and the #585 overall app as concurrent players waned.

That’s when things started to get a bit Game Of Thrones.

Pawns In A CEO War

Liew pushed for HQ to swap Kroll into the CEO spot in September 2018 while moving Yusupov to Chief Creative Officer, which was confirmed despite an HR complaint against Kroll for aggressive management. However, three sources tell TechCrunch that Yusupov pushed that HQ employee to file the complaint against Kroll. As the WSJ reported after Kroll’s death, that employee later left the startup because they felt that they’d been exploited. “There was definitely what felt like manipulation there, and that’s also why that employee resigned from the company.” one source said. Another source said that staffer “believed Rus used their unhappiness about work to use them as a pawn in his CEO war and not because Rus actually cared about resolving things.”

Cyan of Founders Fund stepped down from HQ’s board after the decision to swap out Yusupov due to her firm’s reputation of keeping founders in control, Recode’s Kurt Wagner reported. Sources say that despite Kroll’s reputation, the staff believed in him. “Colin loved HQ and was dedicated to all the employees more than Rus. Rus cares about Rus. Colin cared about the content” a source tells me. 

Three sources say that in a desperate ploy to retain power and prevent Kroll’s rise, Yusupov suggested Rogowsky, a comedian with no tech or management experience, be made CEO of HQ Trivia. He even suggested the company film a reality show about Rogowsky taking over. That idea was quickly shot down as preposterous.

“It was a very personal desperation tactic not to have Colin be CEO. It was not a professionally thought-out idea” a source tells me, though another said it was always hard to tell if Yusupov’s crazy ideas were jokes. Both Yusupov and HQ Trivia declined to respond to multiple requests for comment, but we’ll update if we hear back.

HQ Trivia co-founder Colin Kroll passed away in December

Then tragedy struck in December. Kroll, then CEO, was found dead in his apartment from a drug overdose. Employees were distraught over what would happen next. “Colin’s plan was to ship fast, and get new things out there” a source says, noting that Kroll had pushed for the release of HQ’s first new game type HQ Words modeled after Wheel Of Fortune. “He wasn’t perfect but in the time he was in charge, the ship started to turn, but when Rus took over again it was like the 9 months where we did nothing.”

Coup d’éHQ

By February 2019, HQ’s staff was fed up. Two sources confirm that 20 of the roughly 35 employees signed a letter asking the board to remove Yusupov and establish a new CEO. With HQ’s download rate continuing to sink, they feared he’d run the startup into the ground. One source suggested Yusupov might rather have seen the whole startup come crashing down with the blame placed on the product than have it come to light that he played a large hand in the fall. The tone of the letter, which was never formally delivered but sources believe the board knew of, wasn’t accusatory but a plea for transparency about the company’s future and the staff’s job security.

At a hastily convened all-hands meeting in late February, HQ investor Liew told the company his fund Lightspeed would support a search for a new CEO to replace Yusupov, and provide that new CEO with funding for 18 more months of runway. Liew told the staff he would step down from the board once that CEO was found, but the search continues and so Liew remains on HQ’s board.

“Mostly everyone was on Jeremy’s side as no one wanted to work under Rus. Jeremy wasn’t trying to screw him over the way Rus would screw other people over. He just wanted to do what was right, getting behind what everyone wanted” a source said of Liew. 

Instead, HQ’s board moved forward with instituting a new executive decision-making committee composed of Yusupov, HQ’s head of production Nick Gallo, and VP of engineering Ben Sheats. Yusupov would remain interim CEO, and he continued to cling to power and there’s been little transparency about the CEO replacement process. Until a new CEO is found, HQ must subsist on its existing funds. The staff is “always worried about running out of runway” and are given vague answers when they ask leadership about how much money is left.

On March 1st, the committee emerged from a meeting and fired three employees who had spearheaded the petition and been vocal about Yusupov’s failings.

One who wasn’t fired was Rogowsky, despite sources saying at one point he’d tried to organize the staff to go on strike. Other employees had been cautious about standing up to Yusupov. “Everyone was terrified of retaliation. Their fears have totally been validated” a source explains. Engineers and other staffers with strong employment prospects began to drain out of the company. Those left were just trying to hold onto their jobs. Without inspiring leadership or a strategy to reverse user shrinkage, recruiting replacements would prove difficult.

Yusupov remains on the board, along with Tinder CEO Elie Seidman who Yusupov appointed to his additional common seat. Liew retains his seat until the new CEO is found and given that seat. And Kroll’s seat appears to have gone to Lightspeed partner Merci Victoria Grace. Lightspeed and Cyan of Founders Fund declined to respond to requests for comment.

Losing Face

Tensions at HQ and a desire to diversify his prospects led Rogowsky to pick up a side gig hosting baseball talk show ChangeUp on the DAZN network, TMZ reported this week. He’d hoped to continue hosting HQ during its big weekend contests. But tensions with Yusupov and the CEO’s desire for the host to remain exclusively at HQ led negotiations to sour causing Rogowsky to leave the startup entirely. TechCrunch was first to report that he’s been replaced by former HQ guest host Matt Richards, who Yusupov bluntly told me Friday had polled higher than Rogowsky in a SurveyMonkey survey of HQ’s top players.

In tweets, Rogowsky revealed that that “Sadly, it won’t be possible for me to continue hosting HQ concurrently as I had hoped” noting, “I wasn’t given the courtesy of a farewell show.” Finding a way to preserve Rogowsky’s ties to HQ likely would have been best for the startup.  TechCrunch had raised the concern a year ago that unless Rogowsky was properly locked in with an adequate equity vesting schedule at HQ, he could leave. Or worse, he could be poached by Facebook, Snapchat, or YouTube to host an HQ competitor.

“Rus is a visionary but not a good leader. He is extremely manipulative in an unproductive way. He’s a dude who just cares a lot about his reputation” a source noted. “A lot of the negative sentiment amongst staff is the belief that he cares more about his reputation than the company itself.”

HQ’s next attempt to revive growth appears to be HQ Editor’s Picks, is described as “a new live show on your phone where our host shows funny viral videos and you decide on who gets paid.” Finally it seems willing to embrace the potential of interactive live video entertainment outside of trivia and puzzles. HQ Editor’s Picks will face an uphill battle, since HQ dropped out of the top 1500 iOS apps last month, according to App Annie. Sensor Tower estimates that HQ saw just 8 percent as many downloads in March 2019 as March 2018.

After the loss of its spirit animal Rogowsky, the employees’ chosen leader Kroll, the supervision of veteran investor Cyan, and its product momentum, tough questions are what remain for HQ Trivia. The company’s struggles have paralyzed its progress towards finding a new viral mechanic or game format that attracts users. While HQ Words is fun, it’s too similar to its trivia competition to change the startup’s trajectory. And all of the in-fighting could scare off any talent hoping to turn HQ around. Unfortunately, securing an extra life for the game will take a more than a $3.99 in-app purchase.

Via Josh Constine https://techcrunch.com

[sheminecrafts]

Mutiny at HQ Trivia fails to oust CEO

This week’s banishment of host Scott Rogowsky was merely a symptom of the ongoing struggle to decide who will lead HQ Trivia. According to multiple sources, over half of the startup’s staff signed an internal petition to depose CEO Rus Yusupov who they saw as mismanaging the company. But Yusupov then fired some core supporters of the mutiny, leading to a downward spiral of morale that mirrors HQ’s plummeting App Store rank.

TechCrunch spoke to multiple sources familiar with HQ Trivia’s internal troubles to piece together how the live video mobile game went from blockbuster to nearly bust. Two sources said HQ recently only had around $6 million in the bank but was burning over $1 million per month, meaning its runway could be dwindling. But its early investors are reluctant to hand Yusupov any more cash. “

Employees petitioned to remove HQ Trivia’s CEO Rus Yusupov

HQ reimagined gaming and mobile entertainment with the launch of its 12-question trivia game in August 2017 where players all competed live in twice-daily shows with anyone who got all the answers right split a cash jackpot. The games felt urgent since you could only participate at designated times, fun to play against friends or strangers, and winning carried a significance no single-player or non-stop online game could match.

When TechCrunch wrote the first coverage of HQ Trivia in October 2017, it had just 3500 concurrent players. But by January it had climbed to the #3 game and #6 overall app in the App Store, and grown to 2.38 million players by March. Quickly, copycats from China and Facebook entered the market. But they all lacked HQ’s secret weapon — its plucky host comedian Scott Rogowsky. Affectionately awarded nicknames like Quiz Daddy, Quiz Khalifa, Host Malone, and Trap Trebek from the “HQties” who played daily, he was the de facto face of the startup.

Yet HQ had some shaky foundations. Co-founder Colin Kroll, who’d also started Vine with Yusupov and sold it to Twitter, had been fired from Twitter after 18 months for being a bad manager, Recode reported. He’d also picked up a reputation of being creepy around female employees, as well as Vine stars, TechCrunch has learned. Rapid growth and an investigation by early HQ investor Jeremy Liew that found no egregious misconduct by Kroll paved the way for a $15 million investment. The round was led by Founders Fund’s Cyan Bannister, and it valued HQ at over $100 million.

Yusupov failed to translate that cash into sustained growth and product innovation. His public behavior had already raised flags. He yelled at a Daily Beast reporter after the outlet’s Taylor Lorenz interviewed Rogowsky without Yusupov’s approval, threatening to fire the host. “You’re putting Scott’s job in jeopardy. Is that what you want? . . .  Please read me your story word for word,” Yusupov said. When he learned Rogowsky had expressed his preference for salad restaurant chain Sweetgreen, Yusupov shouted “He cannot say that! We do not have a brand deal with Sweetgreen! Under no circumstances can he say that.” The next day, Yusupov falsely claimed he’d never threatened Rogowsky’s job.

With HQ’s bank account full, sources say Yusupov was extremely slow to make decisions, allowing HQ to stagnate. The novelty of playing trivia for money via phone has begun to wear off, and people increasingly ignored HQ’s push notifications to join its next game. But beyond bringing in some guest hosts and the option to buy a second chance after a wrong answer, HQ ceased to evolve. HQ fell to the #196 game on iOS and the #585 overall app as concurrent players waned.

That’s when things started to get a bit Game Of Thrones.

Pawns In A CEO War

Liew pushed for HQ to swap Kroll into the CEO spot in September 2018 while moving Yusupov to Chief Creative Officer, which was confirmed despite an HR complaint against Kroll for aggressive management. However, three sources tell TechCrunch that Yusupov pushed that HQ employee to file the complaint against Kroll. As the WSJ reported after Kroll’s death, that employee later left the startup because they felt that they’d been exploited. “There was definitely what felt like manipulation there, and that’s also why that employee resigned from the company.” one source said. Another source said that staffer “believed Rus used their unhappiness about work to use them as a pawn in his CEO war and not because Rus actually cared about resolving things.”

Cyan of Founders Fund stepped down from HQ’s board after the decision to swap out Yusupov due to her firm’s reputation of keeping founders in control, Recode’s Kurt Wagner reported. Sources say that despite Kroll’s reputation, the staff believed in him. “Colin loved HQ and was dedicated to all the employees more than Rus. Rus cares about Rus. Colin cared about the content” a source tells me. 

Three sources say that in a desperate ploy to retain power and prevent Kroll’s rise, Yusupov suggested Rogowsky, a comedian with no tech or management experience, be made CEO of HQ Trivia. He even suggested the company film a reality show about Rogowsky taking over. That idea was quickly shot down as preposterous.

“It was a very personal desperation tactic not to have Colin be CEO. It was not a professionally thought-out idea” a source tells me, though another said it was always hard to tell if Yusupov’s crazy ideas were jokes. Both Yusupov and HQ Trivia declined to respond to multiple requests for comment, but we’ll update if we hear back.

HQ Trivia co-founder Colin Kroll passed away in December

Then tragedy struck in December. Kroll, then CEO, was found dead in his apartment from a drug overdose. Employees were distraught over what would happen next. “Colin’s plan was to ship fast, and get new things out there” a source says, noting that Kroll had pushed for the release of HQ’s first new game type HQ Words modeled after Wheel Of Fortune. “He wasn’t perfect but in the time he was in charge, the ship started to turn, but when Rus took over again it was like the 9 months where we did nothing.”

Coup d’éHQ

By February 2019, HQ’s staff was fed up. Two sources confirm that 20 of the roughly 35 employees signed a letter asking the board to remove Yusupov and establish a new CEO. With HQ’s download rate continuing to sink, they feared he’d run the startup into the ground. One source suggested Yusupov might rather have seen the whole startup come crashing down with the blame placed on the product than have it come to light that he played a large hand in the fall. The tone of the letter, which was never formally delivered but sources believe the board knew of, wasn’t accusatory but a plea for transparency about the company’s future and the staff’s job security.

At a hastily convened all-hands meeting in late February, HQ investor Liew told the company his fund Lightspeed would support a search for a new CEO to replace Yusupov, and provide that new CEO with funding for 18 more months of runway. Liew told the staff he would step down from the board once that CEO was found, but the search continues and so Liew remains on HQ’s board.

“Mostly everyone was on Jeremy’s side as no one wanted to work under Rus. Jeremy wasn’t trying to screw him over the way Rus would screw other people over. He just wanted to do what was right, getting behind what everyone wanted” a source said of Liew. 

Instead, HQ’s board moved forward with instituting a new executive decision-making committee composed of Yusupov, HQ’s head of production Nick Gallo, and VP of engineering Ben Sheats. Yusupov would remain interim CEO, and he continued to cling to power and there’s been little transparency about the CEO replacement process. Until a new CEO is found, HQ must subsist on its existing funds. The staff is “always worried about running out of runway” and are given vague answers when they ask leadership about how much money is left.

On March 1st, the committee emerged from a meeting and fired three employees — two who had spearheaded the petition and been vocal about Yusupov’s failings.

One who wasn’t fired was Rogowsky, despite sources saying at one point he’d tried to organize the staff to go on strike. Other employees had been cautious about standing up to Yusupov. “Everyone was terrified of retaliation. Their fears have totally been validated” a source explains. Engineers and other staffers with strong employment prospects began to drain out of the company. Those left were just trying to hold onto their jobs. Without inspiring leadership or a strategy to reverse user shrinkage, recruiting replacements would prove difficult.

Yusupov remains on the board, along with Tinder CEO Elie Seidman who Yusupov appointed to his additional common seat. Liew retains his seat until the new CEO is found and given that seat. And Kroll’s seat appears to have gone to Lightspeed partner Merci Victoria Grace. Lightspeed and Cyan of Founders Fund declined to respond to requests for comment.

Losing Face

Tensions at HQ and a desire to diversify his prospects led Rogowsky to pick up a side gig hosting baseball talk show ChangeUp on the DAZN network, TMZ reported this week. He’d hoped to continue hosting HQ during its big weekend contests. But tensions with Yusupov and the CEO’s desire for the host to remain exclusively at HQ led negotiations to sour causing Rogowsky to leave the startup entirely. TechCrunch was first to report that he’s been replaced by former HQ guest host Matt Richards, who Yusupov bluntly told me Friday had polled higher than Rogowsky in a SurveyMonkey survey of HQ’s top players.

In tweets, Rogowsky revealed that that “Sadly, it won’t be possible for me to continue hosting HQ concurrently as I had hoped” noting, “I wasn’t given the courtesy of a farewell show.” Finding a way to preserve Rogowsky’s ties to HQ likely would have been best for the startup.  TechCrunch had raised the concern a year ago that unless Rogowsky was properly locked in with an adequate equity vesting schedule at HQ, he could leave. Or worse, he could be poached by Facebook, Snapchat, or YouTube to host an HQ competitor.

“Rus is a visionary but not a good leader. He is extremely manipulative in an unproductive way. He’s a dude who just cares a lot about his reputation” a source noted. “A lot of the negative sentiment amongst staff is the belief that he cares more about his reputation than the company itself.”

HQ’s next attempt to revive growth appears to be HQ Editor’s Picks, is described as “a new live show on your phone where our host shows funny viral videos and you decide on who gets paid.” Finally it seems willing to embrace the potential of interactive live video entertainment outside of trivia and puzzles. HQ Editor’s Picks will face an uphill battle, since HQ dropped out of the top 1500 iOS apps last month, according to App Annie. Sensor Tower estimates that HQ saw just 8 percent as many downloads in March 2019 as March 2018.

After the loss of its spirit animal Rogowsky, the employees’ chosen leader Kroll, the supervision of veteran investor Cyan, and its product momentum, tough questions are what remain for HQ Trivia. The company’s struggles have paralyzed its progress towards finding a new viral mechanic or game format that attracts users. While HQ Words is fun, it’s too similar to its trivia competition to change the startup’s trajectory. And all of the in-fighting could scare off any talent hoping to turn HQ around. Unfortunately, securing an extra life for the game will take a more than a $3.99 in-app purchase.

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