#and i have fallen afoul of not realizing the origin or context of a particular feature

[dykequixote]

This is not intended as anything other than a vent post for some shit I've continually seen within the community for about as long as I've been in it. Other people have said similar things much better and from much more knowledgeable perspectives on this phenomenon.

It is possible for myself and other non-Black butches to not attempt to construct our butchness using appropriated (and misused/misinterpreted) AAE/AAVE.

"oh but what if I don't know where the term comes from" you can take stock of your own linguistic choices and ask yourself "why am I adopting this phrase into my speech? For what purpose do I particularly want to use this word or phrase for? What are its origins? What sociocultural values are being ascribed to it?"

It really and truly is possible to take someone telling you "hey it seems you are using this phrase to gain social capital in a manner which not only neglects the actual meaning and origin of it but also expressly affirms and reifies discriminatory ideals towards the originators of that phrase" and just. Stop using it. Defensiveness is unnecessary, justifying your usage of it is unnecessary, and your previous ignorance does not somehow make continued usage of these words, phrases and features okay especially now that you obviously do know.