#and i feel terrible even subjecting y'all to the option of reading it but

[someinstant]

15 questions

15 mutuals

Tagged by @bright-elen, and I've got a few minutes, so I'll give it a go!

1. Are you named after anyone?

No. I'm actually named in avoidance of someone-- the name my mother initially wanted to name me was a no-go, because it was the name of my dad's siblings who was stillborn when he was only two. He and all his younger siblings didn't even really know about her death until they were adults-- Dad vaguely remembers the pregnancy, but nothing else. My grandmother just-- Did Not Talk about it, and my grandfather gently asked if my parents would consider choosing a different girl's name as one option. So they did, and I'm glad-- I like my given name. It's unusual for my generation, and the name I avoided is just Not Me.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Oh, last week I teared up when a colleague sent me a dumbass email about how he needed my help figuring out how to do something tech related that I have LITERALLY showed him how to do at least once a week for the past two years. And I was just so tired and stressed it just about broke me. Before that, I cried at a friend's funeral two weeks ago. But those were good tears. Sad, but purifying. It had been a long, horrible illness, and it was good to know she wasn't in pain anymore.

3. Do you have kids?

None that are mine by blood or law. But I teach about 180 a year, so-- yeah, I've got kids.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

More than I should. I'm working on it.

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

I am an enormous klutz, so team sports are a terrible idea. But I was super into long-distance cycling in high school and college. And I love hiking, but my ankles are such a disaster nowadays from Bad Decisions and various past injuries that I am very slow and measured in what I do now.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about other people?

Eyes and voice.

7. What’s your eye colour?

The green end of hazel.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

I am a terrible wuss about scary movies, so happy endings.

9. Any special talents?

I have a stupid memory for useless things. Like, when I would get bored during college lectures, I would see how much of "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" I could write out from memory.

10. Where were you born?

Northwest of Atlanta by a bit.

11. What are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, pen-and-ink drawing, traveling, pottery, and I really like those architectural models made out of teeny-tiny not-Legos.

12. Do you have any pets?

I have lots of houseplants and kidnap my parents' dog on the regular. I really want a dog of my own, but I'm out of the house every day around 6 AM, and I don't get back until 5 or 6 PM. Unless I get a dog walking service, that's just cruel.

13. How tall are you?

Taller than my sister, which is all that matters.

14. Favorite subject in school?

History, literature, and-- oddly-- chemistry.

15. Dream job?

I mean, I don't dream about working? But I like what I do; I just wish the pay was an appropriate compensation for the work, and the state I work in had a better respect for my professionalism.

15 mutuals: Please don't feel obligated, y'all: @frostbitepandaaaaa, @marwoodly, @coffee-and-uhg, @corazondebeskar, @toooldforthisbutstill, @intellectual-carrot, @angrytrigonometry, @lunapascal, @buckybarnesss, @jake-and-amy-are-married, @fbismostunwanted, @naivara, @velvetsunset, @nonableistcatlady, @lilting-aurora

[oofcori]

CORI ACCOLA. anyone who knew her was aware of what she was like; she didn’t hide it. she was energetic, talkative, enthusiastic — maybe often too much of each. she was persistent, supportive, she liked to immerse herself with people at all times and she liked being liked so it was no surprise that she had a perfectly cultivated personality for every single person she met. they didn’t stray too far from one another, mostly sticking true to who she was, but her mannerisms, her tone of voice, the way she’d hold conversations or drop them in an instant — it all depended on who she was talking to.

on days like her birthday she found herself talking to everyone. even people she barely spoke to aside from the occasional check up or glance in the hallway were celebrating with her, and she knew it was down to the party as a whole, but still ! she’d accept any kind of attention, no matter what. 

it was strange how birthdays were both mutually the best and worst days of her life, no matter the year. they always started positive, like she’d just been birthed the very second she awoke and she was bursting with immense energy. she thrived from the birthday celebrations, the attention, all the gifts ! 

eventually things would calm down as does she and she’s left with a desire to get back to that happy place — she’s been familiar with all kinds of things in her years, often just getting trashed with whatever alcohol she can find but it’s not like she’s a stranger to narcotics. she doesn’t remember several birthdays because of this and she genuinely prefers it this way. she doesn’t know what exactly happened but she knows her twelve, fifteenth and sixteenth were her worst ones. 

it wasn’t that she was a bad kid, she was just a handful. and when she wasn’t even related to the people who had taken the role of her parents it was easy to decide she didn’t have to listen to them. so there were multiple times police had to be called, several times she’d end up needing her stomach pumped in hospital and eventually thousands of dollars were spent on therapy she refused to take seriously. 

there were obvious whispers from her godparents’ friends and family, always discussing how they didn’t NEED to take her in, how they didn’t owe carla and tobias anything even after their murders — corrine was too much to handle and not what they signed up for ! except her godparents were GOOD people, they were her parents best and closest friends, most trusted contacts and they knew corrine deserved some stability in her life, despite her being anything but. 

when her parents died she was seven and she only remembers one or two birthdays with them but even that’s enough to know how much they loved her and how much she loved them. she remembers opening up her princess annika barbie doll, her first nintendo ds ( then another a week later when she dropped it from the balcony ), and she remembers how they’d wake her up with a candle in a cupcake softly singing ‘ happy birthday ’ while she twiddled her feet and swayed along, trying her best to be patient and not blow out the candle too quick. 

and then she remembers her eighth birthday. the first one without them, how she dreamt of them the night before and how they weren’t there when she opened her eyes in the morning. she kept falling back asleep, maybe if she tried again they would be. she didn’t cry once, she didn’t eat any of her cake, didn’t open any presents, didn’t talk to anyone. 

her ninth was a bit better, she actually had some cake. tenth she had a party, though it ended up with everyone being sent home after she decided to see if she could set georgina wood on fire with one of the candles. turns out she could.

once she got to fourteen cori was well aware of how to seem normal. no setting people on fire, no fires in general ( twelfth birthday was a disaster, she’d now claim it was lit  ), no replacing her own cake’s sugar with salt, making sure she was actually contributing to conversations. it was a long list. so she was starting to act HAPPIER which was good, she was getting friends at school which was good — it was only really on her birthdays that she’d let go of that control and fall into old routines.

so with her twenty-first it was no different. 

perhaps it was the perfect night. she almost feels bad for stealing part of the attention away from it being the end of year party considering she got her own surprise mini-performance with faith jumping out from the cake. she was with all her friends. milena, sage, grey, jas, raina, claire, scott, lou, levi, maia, cyrus, maddox... honestly she had too many friends.  she loved seeing them all dressed up, loved dancing with them and drinking far too much together. she remembers how she was sad about the whole date situation, she’d told ella to ask grey and regretted it immediately, found out milena asked maddox and felt completely lost with who to ask herself, so many of her friends were DATING so they were automatically out... everyone was taken up quickly and the people she was depending on to go with were suddenly unavailable. faith had been a literal life saver because if she had to turn up alone on her BIRTHDAY she would rather have died. but the night was everything she could have wanted and she wouldn’t have changed it for anything. 

but as it gets later she’s feeling more and more drained, she’s stumbling around from the alcohol and she’s already ingested a bit more than advised of the edible cookie cyrus gave her. she’s fine, she just can’t stop thinking about things she definitely doesn’t want to think about. she keeps getting urges to do SOMETHING... but she doesn’t know what, she knows it’ll probably be bad, though — and it’s fine when you’re thirteen and your biggest issue is why henry malkovich would rather sit next to yasmin greene than you in english class but here, at gallagher, when you’re friends with EVERYONE... they can’t see you like that. 

she’s already losing her breath, feeling like her hearts going to burst from her chest if it doesn’t slow down and she’s making her way outside as subtly as possible because there’s nothing worse than someone coming to check on you when you’re freaking out and you don’t want them to know.

she’s outside, trying to figure out where she can go to think and just be anywhere but around other people. her heels are quickly discarded and then she’s running. she hadn’t decided where she was off to but she ends up somewhere in the forest, surrounded by the trees and it’s so DARK but the moon looks beautiful from what she can see through the branches above — there’s a comfort in how still everything is, especially when her body feels like it’s involuntarily spinning round and round. so she decides to sit. her hands playing with anything that’s on the ground beside her — twirling grass around her fingers, digging little holes then burying them back up with a solid pat, peeling off little chunks of bark from the tree and trying to engrave her name into it. anything to occupy herself with, a distraction while her mind calms down, something to DO. 

she’d been messaging some friends, all none the wiser except grey — only because she’d told him she was feeling sad, though it was something she regretted as soon as she did. she shouldn’t have told him she was outside, alone, and clearly too intoxicated to make wise decisions. he was always looking after her even when she didn’t want it, and tonight she REALLY didn’t want it and she hoped he was joking when he said he was coming to find her. it only frustrates her and makes her anxious, which just sends her thoughts spiralling. 

there’s no warning before she’s sobbing, a split second vision of her dad rushing for a hug — his laugh echoing in her head. she can hear her mother singing to her, cradled together in bed while there’s thunderstorms outside. and once she starts she can’t stop. she was emotional, sensitive, weak and it was something she didn’t like people knowing. but it’s never just about her parents deaths. it’s how she’ll never see them again, how she won’t have her father walking her down the aisle or that they never got to see her grow up and know just how much she looks like both of them. how she literally can’t look in the mirror ( which is something she loves doing ) without being reminded of them one way or another. she wished she had a sibling just so she could TALK about it — someone who could understand her and tell her that she’s not crazy for having a breakdown after she notices herself humming lullabies her mother would sing or how when she really laughs she has a squeak in her throat like her dad and that breaks her heart.

it’s about how she will never know if she’s good enough or if she turned out okay, how she despises herself for not making every day count and that she KNOWS they’d be disappointed in her today. how she’s sick to her stomach with the thought that they were better off without her, even though she felt non-existent without them. 

so she just stayed against the tree, determined tears refusing to stop as she wipes them away again and again and again. and she’s sure she looks a whole MESS right now but there’s not a single care in her being as her palms swipe at her eyes, leaving her mascara all over her hands. she bites down on the side of her palm, just below her thumb, in hopes to calm her breathing, to stop panicking quite so much and just relax.

after a while of forcing herself silent, she’s struggling to keep her eyes open, fluttering slowly but often as she lets her body sink and she’s drifting to sleep. 

[the-dragon-hearted]

I feel like we, as human beings should address the one overarching issue of not just the Dream smp fandom, but any place where people come together and discuss things they love. The issue: Debate. Discourse. Deliberation. Okay, that was three issues, but you get the picture. We, as a society (yes I'm throwing the 'S' word out there) need to get better at Debate. I get it, the four-year-olds on political stages have set a horrible example but I am here to give y'all a Tedd Talk on arguments, mostly pertaining to content creators but this can be used in any disagreement you ever hold. How to Properly Hold an Argument without being a Child in 4 Steps: Step 1: Never walk into a Debate expecting to change the other's mind This is a big one and it's one of the hardest to grasp. What? What do you mean? What's the purpose of argument if I don't convince the other they're wrong? The purpose of a debate is to offer your opinion and defend it against the world while you pick another's claim apart. Don't expect to change someone's mind. For your own benefit. If you see an opinion that is absolutely horrendus out there on social media, YouTube, Twitchchat, et cetera... and you click on it to refute it. You need to understand you're not refuting it to change that person's mind, but to display to the rest of your collegues why that opinion is, well... Bullshit. You live in a society where people are Ignorant, Misinformed, Sensationalists, or Trolls. Frankly, against certain people (namely trolls) you can't win. No matter what you say or how 'awesomely' constructed your argument is. You can not and will not win. All you can do is build up an opinion and post it and then suffer what 'deez nuts' jokes you get. Here, an example:

Troll: *insert terrible opinion here* Person A: No. That's wrong for reasons a, b, and c. You shouldn't believe that or spread it. Troll: lol, take a joke will you. You're so sensitive.

Naturally, this would upset you. I would be upset and it's okay if you are too. But you should not under any situation continue to feed the troll. Never expect to change someone's mind and never expect to win, especially against people like this. There is no winning in an argument, there's only hurt feelings and over-used claims. The best you can hope for is for your argument to sound and appear as the best option/opinion. Alright? Don't attack people and don't reply with pure emotion. Just breathe easier knowing you made a good argument, posted it, and the other is making a fool of themselves. Honestly, who's the fool? The informed person or the twelve year olds laughing about Bofa? Bofa what? Bofa deez - Aaand we're shutting it down there. So now you know what to walk in expecting in an argument. What do you do next? Step 2: Construct a solid Claim DON'T RUN! I SWEAT I'LL BE MORE CONCISE THAN THE ENGLISH TEACHERS OF HIGH SCHOOL! A claim is the core of your argument; the thing you're arguing about. It can be broad, it can be specific, but the most important part is that you stay on topic. Don't lose yourself to ranting. Always re-read what you type and delete any paragraphs that change the topic. For instance, if you're talking about the Dream speed-runs, you probably shouldn't go on a rant about the manhunts as they're two seperate catagegories and you'll look a bit confused. Step 3: Be mature, be concise, and do some research First things first: Don't deflect in an argument simply because you don't know something. Take your time, do research, form an opinion and come back to it. This will give you time to blow of steam AND stay informed. On the same note, absolutely do NOT use red herrings. Red herrings? Oh, that's when you deflect attention from the main topic with a shallow issue that's related. For instance, let's use discourse discusing a content creator's bias against... let's do something stupid like stuffed animals:

Person A: We need to talk about cc!So-and-So and they're Bias against stuffed animals. Person B: Sure, but there are so many children out there who are lacking connection and are never able to get stuffed animals due to strict parents. It feels wrong to only focus on one subject when there's a whole problem out there.

^^ This is a red herring. It's not always this obvious but for the love of all things good, don't do this. Second things second - this is SUPER important. Stop using Ad Hominem attacks in any and all debates. Ad Hominem attacks are the type that personally attacking your opponent instead of focusing on their position. I'm sure you can tell that politicians love that one - but it's actually an immature approach that cheapens your argument. To see it in practice:

Person A: I don't think it's a big deal that cc!So-and-So did blank and I don't see why everyone's making a big deal out of it. Person B: That's because you're a cc!So-and-So Stan. Person A: Well you're just a hater.

Right away you should be able to tell that there was no tangible argument against or for the content creator. Just a bunch of kids slinging mud on their opponents. Calling someone a 'hater' or a 'stan' shouldn't invalidate their opinion or bolster your own argument. Just because someone 'likes' or 'dislikes' something doesn't mean they can't talk about it, it just means they're likely to possess Implicit Bias or a subconcious bias towards something. Implicit Bias isn't a bad thing and it isn't something that invalidates an argument, it's something that should allow you to at least understand the reasoning for someone to hold a position. If you attack someone's personal standing instead of their opinion it only cheapens your argument because people now assume YOU have no idea what you're talking about and all you can do is hiss at your foe like a feral raccoon on drugs. No one wants to agree with a feral racoon on drugs, kind of how no one wants to agree with a politician. So, how can you better form an argument without mudslinging? It's a bit more complicated, but worth it. You research, you think before you type, you stay respectful, and... you listen to Step #4. Step 4: Sometimes. You have to accept that you were initially wrong. This one hurts. It hurts you and your confidence and all you can do is handle it best you can. I've taken debate and been in dozens or "professional arguments" (I hate that phrase) and I have been 'wrong' plenty of times. There's grace in that and it's an important lesson to learn. It is impossible to be right 100% of the time and it's impossible to be infallible. You have to accept that of yourself and those around you. If your opponent accepts they were wrong, do not continue to harp on them. That's cruel. Alternatively, if you realize you were wrong with your claim, you can admit you were mistaken and amend it. It takes a big person to do that and if your opponent has any decency, they'll recognize that. If they don't, congratulations, you've been arguing with a literal child. And now, you know everything about Debate. (That's a lie, but you know the basics and you can do a lot with the basics.) A good friend of mine once said that every opinion out there came from the mouth of both an asshole and an angel and we all have to be one of those things at some point in our lives. Debate, discourse, argument, all of that is hard and it can be straining or even toxic. Take a step back when necissary. Take a deep breath. Know that if you're feeling personally attacked, you're opponent is using immature methods to tear down your arguments. If you're argument is torn down and you don't know what to think, that's okay too. Take a breath, take a break, and allow yourself to mull it over. Forming your own opinion takes time and a clear mental space. You need both. So next time you see a troll, a jerk, an asshole, a hater, or a stan - don't let emotions get the better of you. Remember you are an intelligent person who is capable of forming your own opinions and NO ONE can take that away from you. Think, research, and then type.

TLDR: Don't expect to win every argument, don't expect to be always right, don't divert your opponents attention, don't personally attack your opponent, always be respectful, always do research, never do anything with pure emotion. Remember you're forming your own opinions and that takes time and space so give yourself that when you need it.

That's it! Best of luck Debating~

[sakusahub]

SKY BLUE! JJK

This is my drabble series BABY BLUE LOVE’s first chapter :D

# SUMMARY! The start of Iara’s first semester at the college seems to get more difficult when the smart, mean senior is addressed to tutor her.

# PAIRING! Senior!Jungkook , freshman!fem!oc (named Iara)

# CONTENTS! fluff, college!au, f2l/e2l(kinda? It feels like jk doesn’t like oc but he’s just sarcastic/mean to everyone), mentions of unprotected sex (not with oc y'all), nerd programming talk 

# NOTES! This is literally my first English fic ever pls don’t be rude 😥😥🕴🏻

College is hard. Principally when it’s your first semester ever, you don’t know anybody besides an old childhood friend and you are the shyest person there

It’s been one week since the classes started and Iara’s still only talking to Sana out of everyone in the campus and dorms, the shyness possessing Iara and limiting her to talk to anyone that isn’t Sana — even talking to the lecturers and professors made her embarrassed, it wasn’t once nor twice that she had to take deep breaths and some courage only to ask some silly questions regarding the lectures to the professors. Luckily, it was only the first week, an introduction to the subjects and courses that Iara will be learning in this semester in computer science

Iara studied very hard to enter the computer science college, but she still felt insecure. Of course, the hours she spent sitting in front of her desk at 4 A.M reading books, watching videos and developing her practical java and python skills were worth it, but it was a hard time for her, going to psychiatrists and trying new meds just to perform better and focus on studying and, needless to say, she will continue to make an effort in her studies now that she was accepted in one of the country’s most hardest colleges to get into.

Since it was the first week, she was relaxed about it. Until the friday class came, a lecture giving a brief introduction to the Programming Logic subject. In the opening class, the course coordinator said in the lecture that the course at the university was given, until last year, in Java, but this year it has changed to C++. And this made the nervousness in Iara to wake up. She knew a lot about the Java language, but C++ was always difficult for her.

Yes, classes are made for you to learn and this includes learning something from the beginning. But still, she wasn’t so secure about this. What if she couldn't keep up with the subject just because she didn’t learn c++? What if she failed the class? Iara wasn’t usually anxious like that but the mere thought of her classmates thinking she’s stupid for not understanding it made her legs tremble. She was smart, but this was an outcome of years of hard work, months studying 24/7 resulting in good grades, being the teacher’s pet and an acceptance to a good college. But still, she wasn’t so sure about this.

This leads Iara to a conversation with Sana at the end of the day. Sana, being the kind person she has always been, comforts Iara and recommends her someone to teach her the c++ language while helping her with the programming logic subject.

“I know it looks like a bad idea but you could ask the counselor if he can get someone to tutor you. Besides, you will meet new people.” Sana said, pointing to the class full of people going to their dorms after the end of the lecture. “Honestly, I don’t think you need it, but if you feel uncomfortable studying the subject without understanding it you should seek someone to help you. Some of the top students of this college do some tutorings for free, I know you don’t want it but think about it, ok?

Initially, Iara thought it was a terrible idea and she would never do that. Someone tutoring her? Some student at college? It would be humiliating, and there are, in fact, other options: do some free courses of dubious quality, pay a professional in the subject to teach her, or even try to teach herself. All of these options were better than the humiliation of  asking the counselor to address some classmate to teach her C++

But, as the week passed, she started to consider this option. Sana kept the entire week indirectly trying to convince her by regularly mentioning the tutoring topic, frequently giving different suggestions about it. Nonetheless, what made Iara rethink was a name that Sana mentioned. “I knew you wouldn’t pay attention to my suggestion so I told a senior friend about you and explained your difficulty in programming logic.” Sana was looking at Iara while searching for something in her yellow bag, taking a sticky note out of it and giving it to her while tying back her beautiful, blonde hair. There was a number written in black in the blue sticky note. “You don’t have to if you feel uncomfortable, but he told me that he can teach you c++ and help you with programming logic, just message him, his number is in there.” Sana pointed to the sticky note that Iara was already looking at. “His name is Jeongguk, he’s in his last year in computer science. You’ve probably heard that name on campus before but I swear he’s not the asshole that people say he is. I mean, he is, in fact, kind of a douchebag, too serious sometimes, but if you get to know him well you’ll see he’s someone cool to hang out with.”

Jeongguk. She has definitely heard that name before. And has certainly bumped into him at some point.

A reputed fuckboy. Young and foolish, but loved by the professors for being the top student at the college — a 4.0 GPA, actively participating in organized extracurricular activities and recognized for being good at everything he does. Iara has bumped into him a few times, times enough to say he’s the most attractive man she’s ever laid her eyes on in her entire life. Pretty dark brown medium-length hair, tiny waist and strong arms full of tattoos. It’s undeniable that he was, indeed, a beautiful sight.

He’s the most popular student in the college, loved by many and carries a golden reputation for anything he does. Iara remembered one time when she was in the bathroom and overheard the conversation between two girls shamelessly talking about him and what he did to them last night (and many other things that she would like to forget). “He’s such a cocky asshole but he always makes me feel so good.” “Isn’t he? Last week, he came inside me and made me go home with his seed inside me just to ask me for pics later.” After that, Iara got red as a tomato and left the bathroom as fast as she could, grossed out. 

She also remembers this time when she ran into him in the elevator of the dorms. Iara looked at his arm tattoos — you can say anything about them, but it would be a lie to say they are ugly —, thinking he wouldn’t notice it, but Jeongguk throwed a confused, curious look at her when he got out of the elevator, leaving her flushed while going to her dorm. 

Enough to say, she wasn’t used to this type of boy, being the shy and reserved person she has always been. But like Sana has said before, she could get out of her comfort zone and meet new people, and this was the last push she needed to message him, sending a brief “heyy :) is it jungkook?” 

After talking to Jeongguk, he invited her to go to the library with him next friday to organize the tutoring. The entire week was calm, talking to Sana and studying normally, but Iara couldn't lie, she got anxious thinking about friday. She even put a small Rilakkuma sticker on her planner for the friday schedule (as if she would be occupied all day), and thought about the tutoring for the entire week. 

As the day and hour came, she went to the library at the exact time, finding Jungkook sitting in one of the chairs, putting his black backpack on the table. Looking at her, he smiled, motioning for her to sit in front of him.

She did as he asked, sitting in front of him and putting her sanrio backpack on the table next to his black one. The first thing she noticed about him was his strong smell of masculine perfume, expensive and woody, hitting her like a truck. He held the look of someone who had just come out of the bath (and it was true, badly dried hair with the smell of shampoo hitting her right in the face again), the second thing was how he was handsome and charming: dressed in dark green cargo pants and a black long-sleeve shirt, she could easily say he’s the most handsome man that she has ever seen. 

Jeongguk could also say the same about her. When Sana told him about Iara, he didn’t really think much about her, since she was just a freshman, a younger girl — he’s not interested in this type of woman, thinks it’s too much to take care of. So he just offered help out of his kindness. But, looking at her now, Jeongguk feels his heart melt. Cuteness in its best. Shy, pure smile, big doe eyes looking at him, blushy cheeks and a cute cinnamoroll hair clip holding her silky hair. Not to mention the light pink jacket hoodie looking like a single dress for being too big for her, all he wanted now was to hold her tight in his arms. 

As a matter of fact, Jungkook was a simp. Nevertheless, he didn’t even know the girl, and as endearing as she could be, he just pushed this warm feeling inside his chest and ignored it, coldly clarifying some things about the tutorings. Jungkook wasn’t impressed with Iara, no, he’s had many flings with a lot of different girls, cute and pretty. But he couldn’t deny that she was the cutest thing. 

While talking, Iara explained to Jeongguk her issue in programming logic with c++. He gave her a curious look. “Honestly, I don’t think you need tutoring for that, I mean, you’re a freshman and this subject is literally made for you to learn.” Jungkook elucidated, looking at her. “I’m in my last year in computer science, in the first year the programming logic was given in Pascal, in the second year it was in C++, the third year was in assembly and now we learn in database. In reality, you’re worrying over nothing, but I agree that it’s better if you learn all of this by yourself or in a course, this is why I’m offering myself to tutor you.” Jungkook looked at her with a serious expression. Iara flushed, intimidated, and nodded, making the boy give her a side smirk. She got even more flushed.

The third thing that Iara noticed about him was how he was intimidating. Sometimes she would ask a question and he’d just laugh at her, as if it was the stupidest thing he’s ever heard, therefore she got even more quiet and embarrassed. He kept serious the entire time, coldly talking about the tutoring. Iara wasn’t so sensitive, but she got a little bit hurt from how he was acting. Why did he have to act so serious? Jungkook was not a professional, probably only offering to tutor her for his curriculum and reputation. He could at least be kind. 

Over time in the library, Jeongguk explained some more things to Iara, who kept quiet the entire time from now on. He noticed that and got embarrassed himself, something about just him talking in the empty place made him uncomfortable. And when they finally scheduled the tutoring for once a week, he invited her for a coffee. Surprised, Iara denied, saying she had to meet with her family (a complete lie, her family lives in the countryside of Japan). 

The thing is, when Sana told Jeongguk about Iara, she subtly mentioned that the girl was all alone in the college and, for a change, in a different country, so he quickly got the message: Iara was getting too uncomfortable to accept the offer. Amazingly, he didn’t get offended, Jeongguk actually thought it was cute. 

“Okay, then. Don’t forget to bring your laptop next friday. See you, pretty girl.” 

If Iara was flushed before, there were no words to describe how she was feeling right now. She really didn’t understand Jungkook.

[fyeahteamhstyles]

I have felt this post has been long overdue. There will be fairness in everything I say and I most likely will offend some of you. But I can’t take all this hate and blame being thrown around. My only hope is that people take the time to read this and that some will agree and share it around so that those who are open-minded will take a step back and look at the bigger picture.

Looking at the similarities between Zayn and Harry, there is a lot to be said for both of them. I am going to focus a lot more on Harry’s POV more than Zayn /because/ we’ve said all we can. I do believe that Harry didn’t want to be in 1D just as much as Zayn didn’t - if not more. People put so much focus on all the other pairings of 1D and seem to overlook the relationship between Zarry. I will not go into shipping details because this isn’t what this post is about. Harry and Zayn, in my personal opinion are woven from the same cloth. The only difference is that both come with special characteristics and different personalities. Remember, Harry was Zayn’s rock. These two had a special bond that was in my opinion a spiritual understanding. They understood each other immensely. You didn’t see it very much unless they talked about it. Both are extremely personal. It does not surprise me that Harry wanted out. Honestly, I think in the beginning he loved it. By 2013, that changed once Jeff came into the picture. Zayn and Harry were never meant for a boyband. They had so much more to offer. As Zayn said, Harry was meant for this life. Everything comes so effortlessly and easy for him. It is no surprise that he was a good front man. But Harry is a rockstar and Zayn is full of soul. Their talents range differently and both in my opinion will go very far. These two are on the same level and always will be - which is why I believe they are pitted against each other.

Returning on the topic of them leaving – I do believe if Zayn had stayed, Harry would have eventually left himself. In fact, when I think about this more /I / believe that Zayn knew that Harry wanted out. But I’m not so sure if Harry knew how badly Zayn did. I will agree that Harry can be extremely stubborn. He was salty for quite sometime. Zayn got out and was free - exactly what Harry wanted. Harry’s plans to leave were most likely in process WAY BEFORE Zayn. It left Harry in a situation where there was four of them left. Leaving wasn’t an option. He loved all of them and the fans - so he gritted his teeth and stayed on a bit longer so that it all wouldn’t fall apart. I get why Harry was upset. Everything fell completely on him. Keep in mind, Harry gained about 80% of Zayn’s lines besides what he couldn’t handle that went to Liam. Harry was consistently sick. The amount of times he had to go to throat doctors, go on vocal rest, and would never heal - shows just how bad the whole situation was. Let’s not forget that they weren’t allowed to be themselves as much as they wanted. I will not label Harry’s sexuality /but/ I do believe that it doesn’t matter to Harry - he loves whatever the fuck he loves. But the image that was forced on him was also a burden to carry. No, this isn’t me justifying anything - I am only speaking facts.

They had NO life. They couldn’t take a shit without a camera nearby, their privacy invaded, their relationships under microscopes, and having the whole world look at you with huge expectations. If you didn’t live up to it - they were crucifed. How is that something to be happy over? On top of this, Zayn was in fact the odd one out of the others. I will not sugar coat this. Zayn was mistreated horribly /not/ just because he was Muslim /but/ because he is a POC in a band of white boys. The amount of racists comments he got. Not just that, how he was basically blamed for the terrorism that goes on because of his religion and culture. With that and his anxiety, it was such a heavy burden to be forced to stand in front of thousands every night and consistently go as his healthy deteriorated. He didn’t fit in the group. It was not him at all.

So, when you look at Harry and Zayn now - I understand a lot more clearly on things. Harry and Zayn BOTH have a lot of the same views on society. But, white privilege is a REAL thing. And I am saying this as a white person myself. It is extremely real. Harry gets praised for feminism, no labels, not carrying about what clothes belong to what gender /or/ how he talks highly of women /but/ is sexual in his music. As where Zayn, gets criticize every chance people get. He can’t even breathe without being judged for standing up for the same things. Even his music is put down for the sensual and sexual subjects he writes about. But let’s praise Harry because he is an angel and Zayn is a fuckboy/bad boy. When in fact, Zayn is the most soft, kindest, sweetest, intelligent, insightful, caring, and loving soul. You can’t base his looks on who he is /that/ is unfair.

None of us know Harry personally. We only know what people tell us or what we see in front of a camera. I do not believe that he is an asshole and is so narcissistic /that/ he dropped everything 1D related and only cares about himself. I can’t say that he isn’t spoiled /but/ I don’t believe he is spoon fed either. Just because he has the Azoff’s /doesn’t/ mean that he doesn’t work his ass off like anyone else. But please keep in mind that Harry doesn’t owe us a DAMN thing. He gave so much during 1D and now things have changed. He enjoys his privacy and as old fashioned as he is - doesn’t need social media to communicate or show how he feels. He doesn’t need to validate anything. He is grateful for the years he had with 1D and has stated that without the band - he would not be where he is. But from what I got from BTA is that /he/ has closed that chapter of his life. I do not see 1D getting back together anytime soon. Years from now, I believe that a reunion will happen. But as of now, he is happy and they are all doing so damn well individually - in my opinion they are even better without 1D.

As much as I love Louis, I am sort of offended by his statements - as nicely as they are said. The whole hiatus has been put on Harry. It’s his fault in the eyes of so many and that is upsetting. I won’t sit here and play innocent as though I didn’t hate on Zayn when he left until I calmed down and listened to him - especially as someone who suffers from terrible anxiety. I guess it is easy to blame Harry. They all deserved a break. Harry enjoys his freedom and he should. They all should. The happiness they deserve and are getting, is long overdue. But do NOT say that Harry doesn’t care for them /because/ he does. He always will. And he stays in contact with them all the time. He even supported Louis during a time that he needed us all. So, I don’t understand where all this hate is coming from.

And as far as Zarry communicating, I can only analyze and assume a few things. Both are extremely private. I believe they are still very close /but/ Harry doesn’t know how to talk about it. In fact, we don’t need to know. When it is time, the truth will reveal itself. They both love the band and the boys very much. And OT5 is the only thing you should include when it comes to 1D. Besides the last 8 months 1D was together, Zayn had been there for it all of it. He built the legacy just as much as the others and still has so much love for it and is thankful for the opportunity. But we grow up and that is life - taking different roads. This is the reality of it all and I guess a hard pill to swallow for a lot of people. But, how can you be surprised? I believe Harry had made it clear years ago. Why were you not pay attention? So stop hating on them. It is like pitting Mick Jagger and Paul McCartney against each other. The past is the past and it is time to move on and enjoy the blessings given now. Stop trying to find flaws and make one look worse or better than the other. Both men are amazing and carry their own flaws, burdens, and choices. The least we can do is respect it. No one is to blame for anything - this is life and a part of growing up.

Stop all this nonsense. It is what it is. Support each other or say nothing at all. There is too much hate in the world as it is. Fighting over things that are pointless and silly boggles my mind. Both are grateful and love the memories and times they shared. But they both needed more. Now they shine as bright and beautiful as they should. Just as much as the other three. It all worked out in the most beautiful way.

And one last thing, please take it easy on Zayn. Understand that anxiety is crippling. I admire Zayn’s strength. But, give him time. Let him do things his way and what makes him comfortable. Even I had to learn that myself. I should know as a sufferer of crippling aniexty. It can take away and destroy so much. It can drown you and things you once were good at and could handle /become/ a daily challenge. He will have his good moments and his bad /but/ I haven’t lost faith in him and neither should you. I’m ending this now. My love for them both and the rest of the boys is neverending /but/ some of y'all really do the most. Sometimes, you need to look at the bigger picture to understand.