#and i dont know i just know she will never abandon me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

a-dash-in-the-middle · 6 months ago

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what if i-

best friend clears her whole schedule before she even reads where

-Love is your second nature, love is your language. Love! or whatever that one uquiz said about me

#i love her truly and fully #she bought me so many small things which just reminded her of me in our absence #it was this cute candy that was questionably edible and cute sticky notes and cute small popcorn #and we are both so serious but when it comes to cute little things they mean something to us especially when they come from one another #and she got us these kids friendship bracelets in shape of cats to put on our bags #and i just love her #we dont talk often but every time we do its like a hug #its finally seeing somebody loving me as much as i love them #friendship is sacred and i know ours is to her #0 notes to me #sometimes the love of your life is the friendship we made along the way and i know she would leave her comfort zone for me and i for her #but i cant just........ its pathetic bc i have met her when we were in middle school and i feel like crying sometimes just still seeing her #in my living room #and i dont know i just know she will never abandon me #and only death and pride will make me abandon her and my pride is huge and a monster i would kill just to speak with her if it ever comes #between us #sorry for gushing about one of my closest friends she just wont let me be lonely and dramatic on here today i guess lol

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sidesteppostinghours · 4 months ago

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ok. question.

ortega ended up hallucinating sidestep after they "died", but sidestep doesnt know about that. they know it got bad, but never the full extent of how their death affected them. so if your sidestep Did learn, if they found out ortega looked for them in every little piece they could, would that change anything for your sidesteps? would their relationship with ortega be any different?

#pulp speaks #Am i thinking of my “ortega sees sidestep posthb” fic again? perhaps #shameless plug btw yall should read it its called 'seen' on ao3 and i still like it #but anyway the important bits: ive been thinking about it with my sidesteps and its really interesting to me how different they are #but theyre all some variation of “i didnt know you /cared/”#caine is. uncomfortable with the idea #i genuinely dont know why but i do know that in the end their feelings on the matter are “whats done is done and im back now” with a small #“ill try not to leave again” mixed in #meanwhile cyrus is a deer in headlights over it #itd be way worse if he learned it when they met again- i feel like if he learned ortega was still that attached he wouldve left and never-#-come back. he would still want to Now but hes too tangled in his relationships and ortega is his /friend/ and leaving would just explode i #-his face‚ god Damnit ortega you son of a bitch‚ he shouldve just run. you werent supposed to drag him into caring about people again.#cecilia would have mixed feelings about it. i think shed resonate with it a lot for reasons she doesnt want to face #but it would also hit her like a goddamn Truck that he chose to move on/replace her rather than try get her back and its easier to get mad-#-about that than question her own feelings. but also maybe she could use this to her advantage? maybe this time he knows theres always a-#-chance hell come back for her next time. maybe. shes hoping there wont be a next time.#cynthias an interesting case because shes in love with ortega. deeply. but ortega /never came for her/ when she /promised/ and cynthia-#-is still furious about it #ortega hallucinated her in death but she couldnt put the pieces together and go looking herself? she cared enough to look for her but-#-not enough to save her?#she would still end up settling on bitterness for abandoning her but the information would shake her to her core #anyway. i think ortega should be used as a squeaky toy 👍#caine lynzal #cyrus becker #cecilia rider #cynthia garcia #ortega #sidestep #fhr

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smeraldo-heart · 6 months ago

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More Jedi Textposts

Except I go straight for angst this time and don’t even pretend to have some levity

Part two on its way….

#cal kestis #jedi fallen order #jedi survivor #jaro tapal #greez dritus #cere junda #the 13th battalion #saw gerrera #the iron battalion #trilla suduri #Darth Vader #if you ever get me started on the tragedy that is Cere and Cal’s miscommunication you will never get me to stop #it’s so SAD. when Cal sees her again she dies not that long after #don’t get me started on how Cal must have felt abandoned either.. just dont #HAIR SYMBOLISM!!! IT KILLS ME!!!#Cal chopped his beautiful locks off and with it the last remains of his innocence #and then he grows his hair longer again in the third game DO YOU GET ME??? HAIR LENGTH SYNONYMOUS WITH HEALING?!!#Cal getting through every traumatic day of his life with nothing but his sheer will and grit #the fourth one is entirely Cal. I don’t know where the quote is from but it’s HIM #the fifth one is NOT bashing Cere or Greez btw! just thinking about how Cal reacts to being hurt #maybe he is angry and upset for a bit but quite quickly he forgives them. it’s both a strength and something very upsetting #saw gerrera though. he knew this kid wanted to prove himself and he used that to his advantage #notice how he sent Cal on these dangerous missions and didn’t contact him ONCE. his entire crew died and nothing #this is not a Bode friendly place btw.#Cal has been afraid for his life since he was 12. do you think about that 🥰#even before then he was in a war #Trilla and Cal similarities and sibling dynamics kill me

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shayberri789 · 4 months ago

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I'm a little hurt by some of my irl friends and have two courses of actions, but which will both have similar outcomes

Basically, I have three creative irl friends. Every time they share their writings with me (be it fics, poems, stories or creative non fic), I ALWAYS read it as soon as I'm able and give feedback + healthy amount of gushing.

But whenever I write something I am proud of and I share it with them, none of them acknowledge it. Its like they don't see the link you know. And its fine because I just say "I wrote a thing" and give a link. I'm explicitly asking for feedback or validation. I can't be upset because they're not mind readers

But sometimes I explicitly DO ask them "hey did you see what I wrote?" "Hey, what do you think of this?" And i get half assed responses at best. "Oh its good" "uh ill read it when I get home *never hears about it again*". And that's a little more frustrating.

Earlier today I needed to put together a portfolio, and asked my two best friends to please read through it, because it was important and I needed their input on (1) thing, and I needed it *before the end of the day*. It was three pages of easy reading. Its not like I was asking for concrit or editing or something time consuming.

One of them skimmed it and gave me feedback. The other one is adhd and forgot. Said she'd read it later when I reminded her. When I reminded her again, she said she forgot and had made plans, can she do it in the morning?

And normally I'd say that's fine! Because I don't expect immediacy from my friends online, esp for favours. But I had a deadline, and this was the third time this particular friend has done this. There's only so many times I want to poke someone to read my shit before I start feeling like I'm bragging/attention seeker/being entitled and demanding. So I just went and asked someone else.

I know I'm valid to feel hurt about this, and frustrated. I also know that my friends don't mean to make me feel like this, or forget. I know they want to support me. But I'm also tired of getting burned so I'm just going to fucking stop trying to share my writing with them because instead of validation I'm getting pain.

My two options are either a) telling my friends that actually their silence and forgetfulness hurt me or b) just lettint it go

Either way, I'm not reaching out again. B) seems like the option less likely to hurt my friends/make them feel bad, so I'm leaning to that. If the roles were reversed, I'd rather option A), because when people tell me these things I do genuinely try to do better in the future, and I know my friends would feel the same. But I've also lost faith in their ability to do so in this area. Idk what I should do

#vent post #eg the adhd friend mentioned how she felt lonely and abandoned when people were constantly cancelling plans with her #and never trying to make them #so I've been making an effort to MAKE time to go out whenever she invites me #even tho often I'm happy at home (introvert)#anyway this is coincidentally the reason I dont talk about my interests irl #unless it's something ik the other person is also interested in #because im fucking tired of talking to someone who looks like they couldnt care less about what I'm interested in #im just sad and so tired of feeling like I have little to contribute to conversation and the world besides #being kind and helping people and trying my best to listen to them and at the very least engage in THEIR interests when they go on tangents #i dont even know how to infodump about my interests anymore unless its linguistics #gah im feeling sad and unappreciated now god i need to fucking get over myself #i expect too much from people i think. i guess i need to spend more time practicing being my own cheerleader #im also tired of people not realizing im not okay #and not checking up on me #when I am clearly not acting like myself #when i feel like shit and I trust you i wont put effort into pretending into seeming cheerful and happy and okay #esp over text #i dont know. i dont know what I shoule expect. they're not mind readers #if even i cant get things right who am I to expect other people to notice shit

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strwbrymlkshake · 1 year ago

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who up praying for downfalls 🤨

#mine #yandere #yancore #yandere vent #oh my god have i got some things to say. ooohhuuoouugh buddy #its not even my own situation this isnt even related to me. but im being a nice upstanding young man and venting abt it instead of invoking #the curse of ra. wishing someone dies is such a good coping mechanism fr because instead of thinking about it forever i can move on with #my life. and its great! but oouuuh theres something wrong with that huh. and oh my god. this issue is so fucked but i cant explain it in #a heartfelt and meaningful way. so imagine someone is religiously devoted to a guy and their mental anguish stems from jealousy or fear #of abandonment. and they are internally tormented about that forever. and just because they dont fit your definition of whats right #youre all like Hey you know that guy that means everything to them. how about we take him for ourselves solely bc this person #this suffering person whose life depends on him- who acts like that BECAUSE they are suffering- you think they deserved to be punished for #their traumas? their guilt and pain and anguish? you are no better than whatever you think they are.#i dont think this even makes sense cause im vague on purpose. this sounds like a situation from the bible i think #idk i didnt read it. anyways im skipping and frolicking in my cradle of hatred that fills me with warmth and delight #its not required that people are nice or respectful when their lives have been wretched thanks to people like YOU #but i hope their devotion never wavers due to people who hate their happiness. its not like those people matter anyway #if youre meant to be with your Guy and you love him enough then nothing else matters at that point. its all a test #die a martyr for your own romantic ideologies or whatever satou matsuzaka said #this is literally the equivalent of like. a mother cat adopts a kitten that isnt hers bc her own kin are all dead. she protects this kitten #with her entire life. and her whole being. and hisses growls bites at anyone that comes close to it. and some human teens are like #we should take that kitten solely because the mother cat loves it so much that shes willing to get violent for it.#because its not very niceys of her to harass those who want to take away the only thing she has left! oh noes!!#like shut the fuck up dawg. if that cat mauls someone for getting too close to her baby then mind your own goddamn business #clearly they did not grow up italian 💀#clearly they did not grow up with nothing being their own. nothing being sacred. no desire to protect anything #anyways yanderes i love you. you are fr so easy to be around and you should never change for anyone. i mean maybe take some therapist #advice here and there in case your devotion makes you suffer but OTHERWISE!!! dont feel bad about being a hater!!! protect what is yours #and i will respect it so hard i swear to god. its not that difficult to treat your devotion with the kindness it deserves.#if a disrespectful teen tries to steal your kitten then ill help you beat them to death with a shovel idc

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pleasedontcareaboutme · 4 months ago

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i think i finally realized why ive been feeling so damn depressed lately again

sorry for writing this here. im really hurting actually. im not good. i feel a bit helpless too. idk who to talk to bc i dont want to burden anyons and i donf feel like anything could console me right now

Like. fuck me man. thanks for saving me but. why the hell are you not here. i dont want to do this without you. i hate only being able to remember you. i was supposed to grow old with you, not without you.

And. honestly. even with all this bullshit i say here, all the endless times i spend trying to write down my feelings, abt you, about all the pain ive felt my life, it doesnt get better. not at all. and no words, no poetry takes it away and i truly feel like nobody will ever truly understand how suffocated i felt all my life.

and i want to change thanks to you but. i dont know. nothing's satisfying enough.

no matter what, i truly only feel great when im in that daydream like world you created.

and these past days ive been thinking a lot that. i really wouldnt mind dying right now. not at all. because at least i know what happiness feels like. and i want to stay in that state. probably, even in this life your music will bring me happiness, but i want to be trapped in it.

im tired of being so unseen, and even when im seen, im hurting. but i dont know whats hurting. i think im just really tired thats all.

and. ye. i feel brave tbh. i still havent posted my video to instagram, bc im not brave for that. i dont know. and i feel like a hypocrite bc everything is true that i wrote there but at the same time these are my thoughts currently

in a long while i looked up suicide methods again. i feel so hopeful, but im not really sure if really for the future. jm sorry this is probably alarming. i will probably not kill myself but. idk. im not sure actually. i dknt know what to say. i wasnt cut out for this wordly shit.i feel unlovable but even if im loved, i donf want to be. i dont want anything. just let me stsy in this quiet place snd just. disappear. i wouldnt want my family to hurt if i die but i wont know about it anyways. idk man. i feel strongly i could die calmly this time and thats nice. bc 6 years ago i was terrified, and hurt. but now im content and kind of ready idk man. its not a terrible feeling, its a "this is it, it was nice while it lasted" ig.

there are no clouds in my head actually. i truly dont feel like im thinking irrationally, i feel like this would just be like. the end goal i was looking for. to feel true love once. it was nice.

no goodbye yet bc idk how id kms even if i do. But ill tell u guys if i found something.

#you know it's funny #i still feel this way but the moment i wrote this #on tiktok one of my friends that was there for most of my times followed my secret tiktok account and #the friend that i lost last year checked my account and #i hope she fucking knows how much that means to me #because i always felt like she hstes me but i still deeply feel she cares abf me and silently looks out for me and i feel so sorry #bc in the past 4 days she has checked my account multiple times and idk man #i truly feel like she sees that im struggling i appreciate it a lot #but i could never tell her that because what if im wrong and also #i dont fit in that friendship anymore #but im still really greatful #for checking up on me even like this #*most of my life #noticed a typo #idk anyways i just really needed to scream this into the void. I didn't want to be so sad today. i just scrolled instagram to numb myself #all day. but i got off my phone it was terrible. idk. i feel im not sure i can get my shit together by monday #im sick of having to fall apart and build myself up every fucking day man. and each day i literally wake up telling myself affirmations #trying to convince myself that its oka #it will be okay at least when u are home at night. wait for that moment everyday but. im tired of waiting for night to be happy man.#i have 30 mins to either post that fuckin video and make a fool of myself bc i told myself i need to post it on the 19th. but idk man. Im #terrified it will only disappoint me. people will make fun of me. idk man. its not that funny is it. or is it? how pathetic i am for clingi #g to the only hope in my life like a fucking abandoned dog man. but what can i do. i dont want to depend on you so much. but then who shoul #i depend on? if i depend on myself im just gonna kill myself man.idk. my grief is getting worse day by day. i still practice guitar everyda #hoping that maybe you will come back or something will come back. maybe mywill to live will come back? maybe the Instrument will play a not #that I can depend on? i dont really know what im looking for thats the worst. living is uncomfortable and dark. even when im smiling with m #friends i feel lost.there's something i feel like they know and i dont. when they could name their favorite colors in kindergarten i alread #knew something was different abt me.its really isolating.not having a clue of who am i.i keep saying im finding myself more and more but tb #i still in a way like im always wearing a costume. i wonder how naked id have to be to find myself. sorry for word vomitting.it maybe helps #anyways acchan i miss you.this world feels really stale without you.i wish I could truly show how much I love you with my words or life but #i dont really think it makes a difference.my voice really doesnt matter that much in the end.maybe im too much

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goldenhypen · 1 year ago

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i randomly found my old blog again and WOW ,,,, TELL ME WHY IM SAD i even stalked my old moots’ blogs too and i- 😭 the way so many things have changed since then :(

#it’s getting close to 5 years i’ve started writing fanfiction which is kinda crazy how time FLEW BY #it’s like reminiscing or looking back at old pictures #we’ve come a long way yall 🥲#NO BUT DONT EVEN BOTHER LOOKING FOR THAT BLOG #WE DONT TALK ABOUT HER #and smth that scares me is that at least one of my old moots from that blog follows me on here so #like every time i see her in my notifs i freak out wondering if she knows it’s me 😭#i abandoned that place and ran away for no reason 😭#and ik to never make that mistake again 🫡#but idk why going through my old blog makes me wanna transform this one or make a side blog #i think i’ve just been rlly wanting to start writing for other groups in addition to enha again #if i do tho it’ll v likely be on a new blog #cuz ik a lot of my followers only look for enha content on here #and that’s ok w me #ahhh i feel sad for some reason 😭#maybe that’s cuz it’s 1:30 am rn 😐#and this is the time of the day i get more emotional so 🧍🏻‍♀️#no but pls don’t search for my old blog 😭🙏🏻#i think if you search hard enough you’ll be able to tell it’s me #but it’ll be a hard task that’s not worth taking on i can promise you that #but hmmm thoughts are thinking rn #em speaks

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thistlekiss · 1 year ago

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Me: starting to make lunch in the kitchen

Mother: comes in after me and makes it VERY clear that *i* am in the way

Also mother: gets pissed off when i say i'll make my food later

#I WAS THERE FIRST #cCLEARLY GATHERING INGREDIENTS #but no IM the one getting in HER way #for fucks sake its my birthday tomorrow she abandoned me during an asthma attack i had to get her to call me a fucking ambulance for #and today shes fucking aggro bc i was IN *HER* WAY????#and after i fixed her fucking tv EVEN AFTER SHE WOKE ME UP o fixed her fucking app she was having issues with she RUINED the chicken stock #i was trying to fucking make last week AND SHE INVADED THE FUCKING KITCHEN WHILE I WAS TRYING TO MAKE FOOD #but no obviously im the fucking problem #also bought her a fucking mini waggle maker bc she cant eat the big ones i found 4 more kdramas for her to watch AND shes put zero effort il #into my birthday #like i spend the entire year picking presents for her and my dad and my sister and ALL THREE OF THEM COME TO ME FOR THEIR PRESENTS TO EACH #OTHER and she fucking refuses to put any effort into gifts for me #just hands me cash #“its too hard i dont know what you like” even when i fucking made a list of gift cards she could get AT THE FUCKING GROCERY STORE #and we always fucking eat where anybody fucking else in the family wants to eat #nevermind its supposed to be my fucking birthday #anyway turns out im still bitter and angry that my birthday has never been about me #time for my annual Birthday Self Pity to start #at least i organised my own birthday cake this year #so im actually getting what i want #since last year the dessert she made i cant fucking eat #bc im fucking allergic to eggs #and the year before that she wasnt speaking to me so i bought my own present #jokes on her that was my best birthday in decades #bc i actually got to do what i wanted which was fucking nothing #she didnt force us to go out for lunch AND THOUGHT SHE WAS PUNISHING ME #and the year before that i put my fucking foot down and said i wanted fish and chips at home #but she had to choose the fucking fish and chip place and she chose the fucking chinese restaurant so it was shit #i have forced myself to stop caring about my birthday bc it's just retraumatising myself every time i care

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quietwingsinthesky · 1 year ago

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anthropomorphizes angel blade anthropomorphizes the tablet anthropomorphizes the bunker anthro-

#they are OLD. they are ALIVE. they have FEELINGS.#angel blades are a given because they are Part Of The Angel. they want to be with their angel. they're loyal. to turn one against the owner #is to break it. kill it too. you know? this is me saying gabriel's blade never works right again after its used to kill him.#the bunker is alive because it is full of dead tortured things. most of them didn't want to die there. sam and dean should be glad that the #men of letters were so good at magic. keeps the bunker docile. under control. but beyond that its just Old.#my personal hc that the bunker wasnt build by the MoL. they just found it and controlled it. shaped it to be a hideout for their war.#but its a lot older than them. than anything. (<- this is v inspired by the oldest house in control yes i love that game.)#that part of the bunker. that old part. it might come to love its inhabitants. not as legacies but as people who need a home.#the tablets are alive because they are angry and abandoned and full of knowledge that Must Be Read.#they were buried they were locked away. they dont appreciate being forgotten. they dont even appreciate being read. but they have to be.#its their purpose. its their only purpose. of course they hurt the prophets that read them. they resent this state of being.#that they will be read. used. and put away again.#none of this makes any sense does it askldjalkjdkl i just think more things should be Alive in spn.#(the impala being included should go without saying of course she's alive. she's baby.)

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kerorowhump · 2 years ago

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#keroro #i love this. she is me. i can live my unbridled amounts of cute aggression towards him THRU HER #i literally need to do this irl #like i just skimmed ep 64 bc i was curious about this trauma switch thing and ive never wanted to grab him and whack him around more #in an affectionate way not because im mad at him oh no. i understand him so deeply. i feel him. i know his most inner psyche.#and he inspires unrecorded levels of senseless violence in me #me in my little ignoramus bubble writing a 4 pages dissertation on his character anyway bc like. i get him ok #his deep seated sense of guilt that he's constantly fighting against. that he needs to repress and deny in order to function.#his fear of abandonment. fear of never being enough. not being able to make up for it. for himself. thats why hes self sacrificing #his selfish childishness that comes from not having been allowed a lot in his youth. taking friends for granted in his past but knowing -#you dont fit in with them. constantly apologizing for yourself. taking space. too much. self indulgence. because friends is s scary concept #and yet one you couldnt survive without. letting them walk all over you. denying your anger. your fears. crawling back to them with a smile #at their feet and biting time because what you really want is friends. company. but you think you don't deserve it. deep down.#maybe u dont. your worst reminder the friend you love. and if they ditch you it's deserved. you don't need them (you do)#why am i rambling!!!! he has ruined me. if im wrong dont even tell me bc i prefer this version in my head anyway #*charlie voice* look at me. psychological trauma up to here #im not saying growing up poor with a father that shames you for your interests and ''disciplines'' you made him selfish but. no yes!#i am saying that. bc i know how it is. growing up with friends that have a lot that u can never afford. u feel guilty just being with them #ok we strayed a lot from the og post which is just me saying I WANNA PUNCH THIS GUY SO BAD (he is me)#keroro gunso

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voidscreamns · 2 years ago

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./

#full stop i feel like the odd one out with my personal interpretation of the Tsaritsa #like i usually see people theorize that she’s all very gentle and sweet on the outside but actually doesn’t truly care at all abt humans #i’m the exact opposite— i think she’s extremely cold and almost hostile on the outside #and seemingly has abandoned all pretenses of love that she may have once exhibited #but deep down inside we learn that she has never truly abandoned it— in fact it’s rhe very thing that fuels her motives in the first place #she tells herself that the war she’s preparing for against Celestia is all for the greater good #but in reality its just sheer grief and rage that she a god of love must follow the whims of an apathetic Celestia #like uh what’s that one phrase. ‘grief is just love lost’ or smth #i also think there’s two ways this can go— she’s either so caught up in her machinations that she doesn’t realize she still has love in her #heart. OR she’s fully aware that that she still loves humans and that is why she does the things she does with the Fatui #no matter how monstrous or damaging her actions are to the rest of teyvat goddammit she is wrong in the face kf the most unforgiveable crime #against humanity aka what happened with Khaenri’ah. she knows this and she has to go thru wifh it no matter how much it hurts her bc it’s #the only way out that she can see #maybe idk we dont know enough abt her to know for certain but it’s just got me thinking

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im-still-watching-anime · 2 years ago

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all these siblings and NONE of them want to read through my boring college essays to help me decide which one to submit for this contest smh family ain’t shit

#‘i dont even know what its about’ bestie you don’t have to!!#just tell me which one is most well written #i have been ABANDONED in my time of need smh #this is so embarrassing ive never submitted any of my essays to one of these how do you PICK #i was half tempted to make a poll with no explanation and force you guys to choose because i just DON’T KNOW!#i have one (1) sister who hasn’t responded so here’s hoping she can stand to read three random ass essays cherry picked from my classes #my ability to make decisions is never good #making them about something that makes me nervous is basically impossible #having a Great Time™️#not anime #life junk

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thetangibleghost · 4 months ago

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"give me a beer, a lullaby, and a word in my ear" -guy at a speed dating event in my dream

#dream log #also had a dream that this green alien came up to me on the street and like wanted me to pick it up and take it somewhere #the like video game objective changed to #changed to go home #but i didnt know where that was so i just started running #but as i. running the alien is like bouncing and it starts blushing #and later when i put in down to kind ageg my bearings its like super wet #between the legs and im like. oh man i think i need to fuck this thing #and i know theirs a game mechannic where you can have sex in bushes and stiff but im like 'no ill just go home first' but when i pick the #alien back up i get a 'failed objective' notification cause i never made it home i guess :(#and another dream. i was back in middle school math. there was a seat that was right infront of and right next to two people i was friends #with plus super close to my crush (other side of my friend) and there was a guy sitting there #but he was like. literally a fly. so i snapped and he just dropped dead.#and i got to sit there. my friend then was like “see this?” and pointed to her lip #and i wa slike “yeah” even though i didnt see anything #and she was like “you can hide a lot of your burdens but you cant hide a hickey” and i was like. man. am i supposed to do somehting sbout #that? idk im pretty sure this is a dream. did she actually say this to me before? am i supposed to do somehting now?“. but then the dream #ended #THEN these are out of order but then i had a dream i was in some sort of summer camp thing? people kept going home. my friend M. went home #home and left me a bunch of her clothes. one of the guys asked some sort of question about sleeping with him. and i was like “no? lol.”#then i invited a different guy to come watch me change and that first guy was i guess also in the room and was like “you know people can se #you through the window right?“ and i was like ”duh. its ohio. thats kinda the point.“#so. whatever that one means.#THEN last one THEN my cousin drove me to an abandoned trailer to explore and it had “too lo” or something spray painted on it or somehting #so then he finished the word to say “too long” or somehting of that nature. and then spray panted the handle of the door blue #and we went in side but the inside was all done up? like really fucking fancy #the kitched was completely lainted in this van gogh style and my cousin goes “this isnt haunted... its fixed up.”#so wel left. i think be showed me something else before that too but i dont remember #in the summer camp one i spent a long time trying to find these snake/pomegranate earings? they were blue abd green

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silverwindptv · 7 months ago

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#bro literally I apologized to my mom and my mom was like #do you have abandonment issues? is that why you get upset #like yes I def do #and then my mom was like why? when have you ever been abandoned #literally my ex #but I’m not going to bring that up bc I didn’t tell my mom Jack shit bc she would constantly just say hurtful things to me back then #but I was explaining how they leave me out of stuff or leave me behind all the time #BECAUSE SHE ASKED #and she just suddenly starts crying and goes I DONT KNOW WHY YOURE TRYING TO START AN ARGUMENT WITH ME #WHAT THE FUCK????#YOURE THÉ ONE THAT ASKED ME!#so I got upset and then she was like “SEE EVEN NOW YPURE GWTTING MAD AT ME #I’m just so confused #I came her to apologize and now I’m the bad guy #after you were asking why i got upset.#okay whatever #I’m not apologizing for shit again when I’m not in the wrong #I’m so tired of being walked all over all the time #you KNOW she would NEVER leave my sister or brother behind #but me?#of course leave that bitch bc no one cares about her #and it sucks bc i had a good time today #and then my mom is all in a l’issu mood going home like what’s wrong with you?#and now she’s crying upstairs bc I’m a bad person #idek why I’m still here #no one wants me to live here #they all hate me and don’t want me here #my mom and dad have literally told me to move out years ago #and they have never ever said that to either of my siblings

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digitaldiseas3 · 8 months ago

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can't tell if i'm like... starting to dislike these girls because im pmsing and that's pretty typical for me to suddenly not like certain people, or if it's genuinely because they've been giving me weird fucking vibes and did smth i think was shitty :/

#they left one dude in the club blackout drunk bc he said he didnt want to leave yet #and his phone died and he slept in the street. woke up with no memory of what happened #and a bachelorette party at the club had ripped his shirt off in shreds apparently #and its like. yeah ik those girls that left him aren't responsible for him that's not their job but like. he couldnt b responsible for hims #--himself in that state #we're in a foreign country and he was visibly fucking blackout wasted #and they left him there by himself #and then in the morning when it was like oh fuck we dont know where jake is? they were insistent that we didnt tell the profs and would #instead wait FOUR HOURS for him to contact us (WTF) before going to the spanish police Ourselves #like what the fuck do you think WE can accomplish??#whatever it turned out okay (or as ok as it could be) bc he managed to buy a charger and picked up when i tried calling again within that 1 #hour that we discovered he never made it to his hotel that night #so like. it was fine we didnt need to get the professors or cops involved and nobody had to get sent back home to the US #but like. the fact that they STILL are treating it like no big deal is really giving me rancid vibes #he could have been robbed or assaulted or kidnapped or killed. and what would we have done #like. idk. it seems like theyre just trying to sweep it under the rug bc it was THEM who saw him last #it was THEM who abandoned him while he was in no state to be on his own #and it's especially jarring bc some of those girls i'd considered to be really great people that i really liked!!#and then for one of them especially to be LAUGHING when jake was telling her in person what had happened #like zero concern whatsoever #and its so offputting like... genuinely was this no issue in your eyes.#and it's scary bc it really is a double standard bc if this was a girl then everyone would have been flipping the fuck out #the profs and cops would be called ASAP even if it meant that people got sent home early from the study abroad. bc safety is more important #but bc 'hes a grown man he can handle himself' nobody was in any sort of rush to try and make sure he was okay #its just. i dont feel like i can trust half of them anymore when that was how they reacted to the situation #and when one girl today got lowkey pissed at me for being like yeah that was scary how jake was left all alone and slept in the streets #she was like 'well its not our problem. hes the one who didnt want to leave so its his own fault. he should be able to handle himself'#WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. WHAT THE FUCK.

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andi-o-geyser · 2 years ago

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@rat-daemon every day i must wake up and act like i am so normal

Coworker: You like Star Wars, right?

Me:

#me trying not to vibrate out of my skin wanting to talk about tbb or tcw #or clones in general #the way i have cody's change in armour on the brain and have literally the entire month?#and him going awol?? i am so desperate for him to be okay you don't even understand #if cody didn't really desert or ends up dying i will be fucking crushed #and the way im absolutely obsessed with everything the bad batch does? their relationships and the deeply held loyalty they have?#and how crosshair feels like they broke that? also just? crosshair in general cause like jesus christ??#and don't even get me started on omega she just deserves the WORLD and i know a lot of people find the standalone eps of tbb more interstin #and thats fair bc they honestly are #but i feel like the batch itself is not appreciated enough because there is truly something so special about them and their dynamics #idgaf if sometimes they have filler eps that are kinda boring. this is a fucking kids show and they have been bound into filler #but that filler also constantly helps enhance their depth of their bonds #its that perfect found family dynamic dont you GET it-#also rex gregor and wolffe being all alone and the only three brothers left in rebels era so like where tf is everyone else?? dude??#the grief and betrayel all the existing clones post order 66 feel from the republic? that they in the end really were abandoned?#also just EVERYTHING about rex? the way he's so integral to the rebellion right from the start?#i will literally never shut up i could go on for hours #like WHERE is wolffe WHEN will i see my boy #ok. shutting up now #star wars #the bad batch #the clone wars

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