#and i don't want to ruin bsd for myself by continuing to stick around
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*holding the fabric of the universe by the scruff of its neck* please, i'm begging you from the bottom of my knees, let me get obsessed with something other than bsd orz
#pls i need to trick a new set of people into thinking i'm worth paying attention to#i have severely overstayed my welcome in the bsd fandom#not that i ever really fit in to begin with#and i don't want to ruin bsd for myself by continuing to stick around#but nothing i tried to pivot to works#how come a show‚ i rewatched thrice back-to-back without getting even remotely bored with it‚ is not enough to rewire my brain#i tried drawing things for it‚ it's just not fucking happening#my rotten soul and corrupted sprit want nothing more than to draw fyodor five hundred more times#even though the echos resonating through the black hole that is my heart keep reminding me#that i don't deserve to continue using him as my muse#or any other bsd character for that matter‚ this year i'm just artistically fixated on him for some reason#howling from the shadow realm
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