#and i don't think i could afford to go to art school full time

[ricoka]

Sometimes I genuinely wonder if I could in fact make art my job at some point

[meirimerens]

how do i get into drawing more? i've enjoyed drawing since i was a child but i never really practiced it that much and as such most of my stuff is pretty rudimentary from a technique standpoint. i only have physical supplies and i cannot afford an ipad or a drawing pad any time soon

there is no need for an ipad or a tablet if you don't already draw something expansive you don't even have to worry about that. I (and i imagine many/most artists who began drawing young) got my start on normal paper sheets the one they call "printer paper" because it's thin and textureless. Actually that might be a lie because I think that even before that I was drawing on walls so truly full circle of a thing.

The only stuff you need to draw are something To Draw With, whether it be a pencil or a pen; if it is a pencil also have an eraser, a no-bullshit rectangular eraser, I've literally never understood what the good was in the pink & blue ones beyond making holes & stamps in them, just get a normal good eraser, slightly squishy so it doesn't pull at the paper like a maniac when you use; And paper to draw in. I'd say get a sketchbook for the convenience + the chill of it all. Doesn't even have to be thicker "drawing paper" it can just be a random, lineless notebook. I like mine to have a spiral spine so I can take full advantage of the page but don't even need that. Genuinely for years this was my drawing material (+ whatever paper I found, including my school supplies)

(Staedtler eraser very good actually I've been using it for 10yrs among the better I've used if you find it get yourself one. This shit was like 1.50€ at my local papeteries and then again they mightve inflated the price)

Now I'm gonna tell you about my life because I think it colors the way I approach drawing and as such the advice I'll give you: I started drawing really young (like pre-dates knowing how to read or write) and never stopped. That means I, technically, have some 20+ years of drawing, but I still struggle with what are kinda "fundamentals". I only quite late, technically speaking, gotten into trying my hand as perspective & naturalistic anatomy. That's because I had, at the start, nothing but passion.

And that's gonna be the one piece of advice I have for you:

Get really, really into something, and start trying like the devil to get good at drawing it.

When I was a wee lad I loved horses so much (and I still do.) and all I wanted to do was get good at drawing horses so I could draw stories with horses, so I practiced drawing horses from the horse magazines i had. Around 11, I got really into manga and all I wanted to do was get good at drawing manga so I could draw my own (a lot of my actually like Formative Years of drawing was manga, and I think it's still visible especially when I draw cartoony faces these days), so I practiced drawing manga from the how-to books their were at the library (and we had actually good ones, including Japanese mangaka's translated into french). Around 14, I got really into Video Game, and all I wanted to do was get real good at drawing the characters, so i practiced from youtube tutorials & other internet finds. Nowadays I'm into art history & archeology, and go out of my way to see and grasp and understand #whateverthiswas and try to pepper it (or sometimes dump the whole bag) in my images.

If you're starting "from nothing", I feel like practicing anatomy for the sake of anatomy (for example) will just piss you off. When you get more into the groove of things, and actually want to Get Serious, you'll sit down to Actually Practice, but I personally have always found that Learning for the Passionate Goal makes the whole thing more interesting than Learning To Learn To Then Attempt The Passionate Goal.

It's gonna suck for a while. It truly will. You'll see every improvement so drastic you'll be like ewww what was that 2 months ago. But you will HAVE HAD FUN DOING IT!!!

Tldr

1) get into something. Whatever it is.

2) collect tools and tutorial to serve whatever it is you're into, and not try to get into the tools: that will come later, once you're already in the habit of drawing.

3) you don't need fancy material

4) never underestimate the power of the humble ballpoint pen and clicky pencil

5) train your brain, the muscle of your brain, to conjure up images until there is nothing you can do BUT exteriorize them lest they poison you

6) you don't have to post anything online btw. In fact, I attribute the fact that I have always loved art so much to the fact that for the first 15yrs of my life I could truly just enjoy the process and vibe. I still do, don't take me wrong, and truly I draw for myself and you're all trapped in here with me. Looking at the slop i feed you. But there is an inherent, new dimension added with Being The Blogger. So have fun and vibe.

7) the heart is the horse, the hands are the rider

[ghostradiodylan]

So, it's one year after the night at Hacketts Quarry. And everyone's kind of freaking out because, that's what trauma does to you. So basically what would everyone do that night?

Also, thank you for keeping this fandom alive

Ooh this is a fun ask!

Sorry this took so long! I had to chew on it for a bit and then I forgot it in my drafts!

Okay, so it's August 22nd 2022. The moon is cooperating by not being full (it's a waning crescent, to be precise). It's also a Monday and it could be the first day of college/university for anyone going, but let's imagine they all go back a little later since that seems to be the case in the game itself.

We'll imagine everyone survived because otherwise there are fewer of them to talk about and everyone is way sadder. I think one thing they're definitely not doing is going back to Hackett's Quarry in some kind of misguided Until Dawn style return to the scene of the trauma trip. Even if the werewolves are gone, there's still a ghost out there and that's how horror movie sequels get made!

They might do a quick zoom or hit up the group text just to check in, but I don't think they'd necessarily all get together. It would be a little intense for an anniversary, I think.

Max & Laura are endgame, so obviously they're still together, and I'd like to imagine they'd plan a little getaway for themselves (preferably one where Max doesn't have to drive). They'd want it to be something completely unlike the woodsy setting they spent the night in last year. Maybe they'd book a nice hotel for a long weekend not too far from home, just to have a break. Or maybe they'd do something big like take an Alaskan cruise. (Can they afford that as two grad school aged students whose lives just got turned upside down a year ago? Probably not, but it's a nice idea! Maybe if there was a victim's compensation fund or they sold their story to Netflix...) Water all around means zero werewolves! Max will keep comparing their accommodations with those of the North Kill jail, as he will do on every vacation now. ("Look honey, the toilet's in its own room and not an open concept bathroom like the last place we stayed!")

Emma talks about how she wanted to go to the spa after camp in one variation of her scene in the lodge basement, so maybe she'd have a nice pampering session for herself. Mani/pedi, facial treatment, massage, then chilling at home in a fluffy robe and slippers. Kat @itscomingupaces headcanoned Emma acquiring a tiny dog postcanon, which I love, so she probably has a tiny dog in her lap too. Maybe she'd do a brief vlog to reflect on her progress over the course of the year, assuming her viewers have a general idea that something traumatic happened to her and it wasn't all covered up. She'd throw on a comfort movie like Tangled or Singin' in the Rain and get her beauty sleep.

Nick would probably like to forget this anniversary, but I doubt he'd be so lucky in just a year. He has a lot of guilt about the way he treated Abi, though he wasn't really in control at the time. He'd probably try to do something that made him feel good about himself, like volunteer work. I could see him working on a Habitat for Humanity house or walking dogs at an animal shelter. He's almost certainly apologized profusely already, but if he's living anywhere close to Abi, he might offer to take her to dinner. If not, maybe it would be a good time to send her a card. Or an email.

Abi has definitely channeled some of her trauma into her art, so she might take the day to work on a new piece, maybe something a little less based in realism and a little more based in emotion. Maybe she'd incorporate some mixed media or sculpture into it. I go back and forth about shipping her with Emma or with Nick (or neither, or both) but maybe she'd get a manicure with Emma if she's not getting dinner with Nick (she wouldn't be up for the full spa day, though, that's just too much of strangers touching her and talking to her). Or maybe she'd do both, though that would be a lot of doing for our little introvert!

Jacob & Kaitlyn have hopefully patched up any bad feelings stemming from Jacob sabotaging the van because as childhood friends, I think they'd want to help each other when difficult anniversaries like this one come up. I forget who originally suggested it but I now strongly believe the headcanon that they are longtime karaoke buddies and they probably go get a private karaoke room and scream-sing away their angst while getting really embarrassingly drunk. It's fine, they'll get an Uber back to Kaitlyn's and eat an entire pizza later.

Ryan would want to go pay his respects to Chris, Kaylee, and Caleb Hackett. He has very complicated feelings about the family and their role in everyone's nightmare a year ago, but he still has affection for them and feels a duty to remember them as they were when they weren't transforming into flesh-eating monsters. I think he'd want to go visit their gravesites back in North Kill, take them some flowers, and clean off the headstones if the other Hacketts aren't around to do it. I'd like to imagine that he and Dylan would have figured their shit out by then, but whether they're a couple or not I think they'd definitely be in touch and Dylan would probably offer to drive Ryan out there and keep him company if Ryan would let him (if they still haven't gotten together, they probably have some things to talk about).

Dylan picks up some food on his way home, takes an edible, curls up with his cat, and watches the original 80's version of Cosmos with Carl Sagan. It's got a retro futuristic vibe that's very comforting. Some people get anxiety thinking about the vastness of space, but Dylan finds it oddly soothing to think that his problems are actually very small in the grand scheme of things in an ever-expending universe. Ryan can come too, if he wants (he probably does).

[flatbstanley]

Saturday, 10:17 am - Celebration Center, San Sequoia

Kelly: Please tell me that you let Will Dalton know about that terrible video on Justin's channel. I can't believe he posted about your divorce for everyone on earth to see.

Taylor: Oh, yeah. He actually saw it first, and he called me. He's going to use it as evidence that Justin isn't fit to have custody of the children.

Kelly: He should be using it to put him in jail right now!

Ayla: Is everything okay, Kelly? You're not usually so...fired up. I know things are tough with the new baby, and we're always happy to help--

Kelly (sighs): Yeah, the sleep deprivation is rough. But I also can't stop worrying about what's going to happen with Alan's job. Father Crane keeps making noises about firing him, but we really don't know what's going to happen. And we need to know - the tuition deposit is due if we want to put Jonah in Catholic high school, and I don't want to waste a thousand bucks if we can't afford to send him there.

Ayla: Yeah...I love St. Petronella's, but with all the drama with Father Crane, I don't think I'll be coming back even if something full time pops up.

Kelly: At least you have a teaching license, right? So you could teach public school. I let mine lapse, so I'm stuck where I am unless I toss out a ton of money to renew it.

Ayla: I like working a private school more than I thought I would, but yeah, I'm applying to the publics. I'd really like to do art specifically, and I'll take what I can get...You okay, Tay? Is something wrong?

Taylor: Do you guys get the feeling that we're being...watched?

Ayla: I don't see anyone, but you need to be careful, given your situation.

Kelly: Yeah, let's get you inside.

[jabbage]

What are the top 5 most middle class things that have ever happened to you?

Ooooooh good question... now I'm going to do the most British thing ever and preface it with a short essay providing half my life story, out of a sense of denial.

Both sides of my family are staunchly working class, as far back as I can find records. They were farm labourers and dock workers and hopped in and out of workhouses. My mum worked housekeeping and cleaning jobs, and my Dad managed to snag a white collar job in a factory out of school (because he's really clever).

But then two complications -

My Dad became a clergyman. This meant that we got to live in nice houses owned by the church he worked for, sometimes in quite affluent areas. We didn't have much money, but still.

2. I managed to get into Oxford University with a gazillion bursaries tied to my parent's low income. I then used the bursary money to fund doing a master's degree, and now I work in academia.

So, am I middle class? I'm begrudgingly realising that I might be? Except if I am I feel like middle class people shouldn't be constantly worrying that their now-retired parents can't afford to switch the heating on, or whether they'll ever live in their own home. And it's alienated me from my extended family, who have jumped to the conclusion that I think I'm better than them.

Anyway, the top 5 most middle class things that have ever happened to me.

One

Last year I got invited to an anniversary meal at my Oxford college, called a gaudy. I nearly didn't go because my time at uni was not very happy and I don't remember some of my contemporaries fondly, but then I figured that if I go, next time I read Dorthy L Sayers excellent book "Gaudy Night," I will have better brain-pictures. So, the setting, for your own brain-pictures:

Latin grace was sung before the meal, which comprised of salmon confit, followed by venison, followed by black forest gateau, followed by fruit and chocolates and port.

I was sat next to a nice middle aged man with an OBE. When he asked me "So, what do you do?" I decided not to say the job which *actually* pays my bills, but to reply with my evening job: that I make comics. I felt like this was a fun thing to say in a room full of people who Work In The City etc etc.

Except it turned out that he runs one of the UK's biggest comic arts festivals. He offered me free tickets. He offered to put me in touch with publishers. He offered to introduce me to significant people.

And I was like.... oh. Is this how it happens? Like, you're in an Oxford college and you just RUN INTO a posh bloke who Knows People and that's how you finally get a book deal???

Anyway I went to the festival. They had a panel on a yacht. And talked to people, or rather had people talk over me. So many times they'd ask me a question, and then interrupt before I'd given my answer. And I dislike schmoozing SO MUCH.

So uh, yeah, no book deal ;D YET

Two

One time I was wearing my college scarf while I was walking around Durham, and I ended up meeting a very cute elderly couple who went to the same college forty-five years earlier (well, the husband did, the wife wouldn't have been allowed.) They invited my to a dinner party at their house, which turned out to be a very cute little town-house by the river with five stories.

At the time I was doing my Master's degree, and they became kind of surrogate parents who I could call in on for a free hot meal and good conversation. But it was entirely sparked by "going to the same college at Oxford" which is very ew.

Three

Idk there was just this one time I was coming home on the train from having seen the Royal Shakespeare Company's latest production of Much Ado About Nothing and I stopped off somewhere to get sushi and I spent the whole time staring at a wall thinking "What have I become?"

Getting tickets to the ballet from a colleague slots into this catagory, I think.

Four

One time I was asked to open a village fete because the local lady of the manor couldn't make it.

Why me? Apparently "local clergyman's daughter" and "went to Oxford" and "draws silly pictures sometimes" was enough to make me a local celebrity.

I got to give a little speech and judge some cakes and everything.

Five

One time I got invited to a dinner party at CS Lewis' house, the Kilns, and I met his lovely secretary Walter Hooper. I remember being shown around and having a deep impulse to check the backs of all the wardrobes.

When I first went in it was through a door that led straight into his bedroom, and I was told that I could take my coat off and just toss it on the bed. No sooner had I done so than my guide mused, "CS Lewis died in that bed."

So I guess I own a coat that has been on the bed where CS Lewis died, is that middle class?!! Idk

[yuncheoligans]

~Beautiful Stranger~

Pairing: Yunho x Reader. (The guys are involved at some point too but not romantically.) NonIdol! AU

Description: A lonely perpetually single grad student working at a museum is approached by a handsome man, he looks expensive. Maybe this is your chance to get swept off your feet. Maybe he wants something else.

Warnings: I don't censor myself so I don't censor the characters, so Language warning. Let me know if I missed anything.

taglist: @legohwa, @hwaightme

~Masterlist~

~Series Masterlist~

a/n: Okay! I was originally going to make this a one-shot but I think I have too much storyline in my head to make it that way so Surprise! Series time! I'm really excited about this one so please let me know what you guys think, I'm having so much fun writing it already.

Also yes the Teaser is included at the beginning of the chapter, I added some stuff to it so I just put it in.

w/c: 4258

Chapter One: Handsome Stranger

The blaring sound of my morning alarm disturbs the dreams of a man sweeping me off my feet, his voice no longer sweet as honey but now Kick It by NCT 127. I guess I’m getting introduced to some New Thangs today  So it was going to be that kind of day, no school but long hours at work as a gallery attendant but also archivist in training, the latter being an unpaid internship…of course. Yeah, long day. I got up, finally silencing my alarm and pulling myself out of my full sized bed, the only luxury I could afford on my own, to drag myself down the hallway to our shared bathroom and brush my teeth. Let’s hope I’m awake enough to remember not to drink Orange Juice again as I look for breakfast. Now how long until I have to catch my train? And if I miss it how long until the bus? It’s not a terrible walk but I need to eat. Maybe I can get to Uni from here. Why does London have to be so confusing!

I’m not originally from the UK but my parents moved back and forth for a variety of things while I was growing up so it’s like a second home. I came here for my graduate program in Art History and made a few friends…moved in with them and now there’s 5 people in an apartment made for 3. We all go to University College London and live off campus in the cheapest place we could find. I was fortunate enough to get a job and internship at The National Gallery here. I’m lucky and I can pay rent but that’s about it, I’m by no means well off and trust me I could use a few extra of any sort of money. 

“You’re up early y/n” William, my flatmate’s boyfriend said passing by the open door.

“Work.” was all I mumbled as I head back to my room to pick out my outfit for the day. I stayed up writing this stupid research paper all night and what do I have to show for it…the not so designer bags under my eyes. Most days are filled with a plethora of alarms going off around the same time, lucky for my flatmates, I’m the only one with work today I guess. Alright, which combination of suit pants, blouse, and jacket am I going to wear today…All Black? All Black. I finished setting everything out before heading downstairs to eat just in case I got something on my shirt again. Last time I decided to make this beautiful breakfast sandwich with a runny egg and it broke onto the bright pink blouse I had picked for the day on the tube going to work, my boss was not happy about the spill. Did I cry, yeah…hey the saying is crying over spilt milk not spilt eggs.

“Oh hi y/n!” my other flatmate's girlfriend Emma cheerily said. “I’m just making Becks some breakfast do you want any?”

“Sure Ems…thanks.” I nodded. If I didn’t have to cook I wasn’t going to complain. Oh that’s the other thing you should know, I’m the only one single in this apartment anymore…or flat. Whatever you want to call it. 

The two sleeping while their partners roam around are my best friends for 2 years, Becka (Rebecca) and Liz (Elizabeth), I only use their full names when I’m angry at them, there have been plenty of arguments in the small confinement of our apartment. There’s 2 bedrooms upstairs, one above the living room, one above the downstairs bedroom, the bathroom is in between the two and just up the set of stairs. Downstairs is the living room, and subsequent dining area. Kitchen is just through to the back and off to the right is bedroom number 3. Yes we all share one bathroom, no it’s not as fun as it sounds. I live in the room at the front of the place above the living room. I was going to take the downstairs room because I came home late and didn’t want to wake anyone until Liz and Will got together, when they started dating they went at it like rabbits. Becka offered to switch with me since she was barely home to begin with, she and Emma had just started dating so she was with her a lot, at school doing lengthy research papers, or at her internship at the hospital. Her internship slowed down so she had a lot of time to be home and spend time with the love of her life. They’re cute don’t get me wrong…just unfortunate to be the only one single here. 

“Thanks again Ems.” I said cleaning the plate I used as I got up to finally get dressed. “It was really good, Becka is lucky to have you.”

“I certainly am.” said woman came into the room perking up at her partner. “Thank you again love.”

“I’ll be going before that breakfast makes a fast journey back up.” I laughed receiving a towel to the face. I put on the outfit I had picked out, touched up my hair so I didn’t look like I was coming out of bed, and set off for the day. Thankfully I didn’t miss my train so it was only 45 minutes to get to work. I know that sounds like a lot but it’s not so bad when you’re used to it. I get to listen to music and relax a little more before starting a long long day.

The opening of a museum is never exciting, there’s probably 10 maybe 15 guests in the first 3 hours of opening, not much to do, luckily the museum lets me work on my internship first on these long days so I’m not bored out of my mind by the time I’m done. I usually clock in around lunch time finally and sit or stand around for the rest of the day depending on what they want me to do that day. 

“Y/n” you’re going to be in Room 43 today.” my boss Henry looked at me.

“Well at least I get to look at some of my favorites today.” I sighed, knowing I was going to be on my feet for the rest of the day was not something to invoke joy. Room 43 on Level 2 had our Van Gogh, Gauguin, and Seurat paintings, most notably Sunflowers by Van Gogh, Van Gogh’s Chair, and Motherhood by Picasso. One of my favorites was-

“A Vase of Flowers, Paul Gauguin,” said the smoothest voice I’ve ever heard. Like butter melting on bread.

“Yes, one of my favorites in the room.” I smiled before turning towards the man. My breath hitched, there before me stood a man about 6 foot 1, dressed in a suit that looks like I don’t know how to pronounce the designers name, oxford shoes, no tie,his nose had a slight point to it, a jawline that looked like it was sculpted by Michelangelo, full eyebrows, his eyes soft and warm, finally his black hair. He was perfect, absolutely stunning, I wanted to look at him more than the art around me.

“Can you tell me about it?” he smiled.

“Oh, yes absolutely.” Anything to talk to him. “Painted by Gauguin in 1896, painted with Oil Paints-”

“Ah so it needs something breathable to not ruin the paints?” he smiled. “When transported for cleaning?”

“Yes, since oils are very hard to fix if damaged and excess moisture can ruin them like the whole water and oil thing... So um anyways, Paul Gauguin painted 'A Vase of Flowers' when he arrived in Tahiti for his second stay in 1895. The vase is bursting with exotic flowers including hibiscus, white and yellow frangipani and white tiare. The flowers look as though they are past their best as some blossoms have fallen onto the table. This suggests that Gauguin was not interested in the horticultural detail but instead the decorative shapes and interweaving of colors of the display.”

“Very interesting.” his smile grew. “Sorry one of my friends is very interested in this piece but I never knew what it was painted with.”

“Excuse me ma’am.” an older woman called my attention. “I had a question about this piece.”

“Oh, well I’m glad I could help sir. I’m y/n.” I shook his hand. “Please let me know if you have more questions.I’ll um..be over there” I nodded, giving him time to look at the painting. A handsome stranger interested in learning about one of my favorite pieces…he’s probably married. I’m going to be alone forever.

“Thank you beautiful.” he flashed a smile my way. 

The beautiful stranger hung around for quite some time staring at the piece, he even had a notebook where he wrote some notes and made a sketch of the painting. No I wasn’t staring at him…okay maybe I totally was but it’s not everyday you see someone that attractive in here, he was practically an art piece himself. No I wasn’t fantasizing about him taking me away in some fancy car with the engine revving going way to fast down the street to a fancy restaurant where the prices aren’t even on the menu and he tells me not to worry about it and to order what I like, he’d probably call me something cheesy like baby, honey, sweetheart, dear, starlight, honey bun….darling…his. NO! Oh my god you can’t fantasize about that stuff he asked you a question. You really are deprived. 

Work was the same as ever after the man left, I was stuck making sure no one touched the art until the museum closed and then I got to go home after clocking out. Back to the happy couples…I put on my earbuds and walked to the station, after staring at someone all day I wasn’t really ready to be reminded I was single forever. Oh well, no choice…maybe I’ll stop and get food and just head up to my room so they won’t notice.

“Hey y/n!” a voice yelled in the tunnel. “Aww hey do you have your earbuds in?” he tapped my shoulder.

“I have mace!” I whipped around feeling someone tap me. Oh. “Wooyoung! Don’t scare me that way!” I hit him gently and took my earbuds out.

“Heading home?” he asked.

“Yeah, I just got off work.”

“I was hoping you were going to say a date,” he sighed.

“Can’t find one. I stare at paintings from the 1800s all day.” I chuckled and nudged him. “Let me know if you find Degas or Van Gogh walking around, I’m pretty sure I know more about them than myself at this point.”

“I’ll be sure to point them your way.” he smiled. “Not even one of your coworkers huh?”

“I went out for drinks a while ago with David but he was so boring, no spice you know. Plus he’s one of those water is too spicy guys.”

“Oh yeah, ew.”

“I don’t know, maybe I’m just always going to be single. I just want someone…who’s a little interesting you know?”

His eyes lit up, he had heard that sentence a few days ago from someone else, he knew what to do.

“Well maybe I have this friend?” he started.

“Oh god not matchmaker Woo again.” I rolled my eyes as we got on the train.

“Hey look I really thought you two would hit it off.”

“Woo he just wanted to make his ex jealous…and I ended up with a ruined dress and a large bill.”

“I apologized and paid you back for his meal. I’m sorry!”

“I know you did.”

“Okay but seriously, this guy is one of my best friends, he’s got some money, he’s actually single single, like hasn’t had a partner in years single, he likes art, he’s tall, he’s not a scumbag, and he’s interesting. I promise you’ll like him.” he pleaded.

“Woo I just-”

“Pleaseeee just one date and then if you don’t like him you can tell me to fuck off whenever you want, please please please!”

“Okay okay fine…one date. Just…one ok?” I sighed. I trust Wooyoung. I do. He's a good friend, great even…his matchmaking skills are just…hit or miss.

“You won’t regret it, and be sure to thank me at the wedding!” he got up at his stop.

“Woo there won’t-!” the doors closed… “be a wedding.” I groaned. Just what have I gotten myself into.

“Hey sour puss what’s with the face?” Liz asked as I came in.

“Ran into Wooyoung on the train.”

“Oh how’s he doing? Also what did he do, you’re not in a bad mood every time you see him” she smiled. “Will is in the bathroom.” I motioned to head up and stopped at her words

“He begged me to go on a blind date with someone he knows.”

“Oh god because that worked out so well last time.” she smiled.

“What did?” Becka came into the room.

“Woo set y/n up on a blind date…again.” Liz smiled.

“Oh god, you have my number I will come get you.” Becka chuckled.

“He promised it wouldn’t be as bad this time but I don’t know I’m still worried.” I rubbed my arm. “He did apologize for last time but still…that was so bad.”

“Do you know anything about this one?” Liz asked.

“Apparently he’s tall, very single, likes art, and has money?” I said remembering what Wooyoung told me on the train.

“Ooo tall handsome rich single man?” They both chuckled. “How does Wooyoung know someone like that?”

“Beats me honestly, but I said I would try…even though I regret it already.”

“And when is said date?” Becka asked.

“Dunno….he’ll probably text me about it later.” I sighed. “I mean I guess it couldn’t be too bad to try.”

“It’s probably worse to trust Woo than to go on the date.” Liz smiled and Will came down.

“Who’s got a date?” he asked.

“y/n” Liz said and made room on the couch for her boyfriend.

“Oh y/n has a date?” Emma sat next to Becka.

“I’m off to bed, it looks like a date night.” I waved. 

No need to be reminded I’m still…very much single.

~~~~~~~~~

“Hyung Hyung Hyungie Hyung-ah Hyunghyunghyung” Wooyoung began annoying the older man at his desk.

“Yes Wooyoung?” Yunho looked up from his computer, blueprints and notes scattered around the desk. “Do you need another reference photo or something?”

“No no that’s fine, it’s all coming together.” Wooyoung brushed the man off. “I found you the perfect date!”

“Woo we’ve talked about this, I don’t date.” he sighed.

“No no listen really, she's perfect for you, she’s single and lives with two other couples so she’s practically begging to get out, she doesn’t ask a lot of questions, she knows a bunch about art and everything.”

“Wouldn’t that make it easier for us to get caught Wooyoung? She could tell fakes from the real ones?”

“Nah her eyesight is too bad for that unless she’s up close and personal. She could help us out with transporting them properly, you know, how to keep them undamaged. Plus she’s really pretty, you’d like her…oh and she’s funny, sarcastic, looks good on your arm at a party.”

“Why don’t you date her then?”

“Oh hyung don’t be silly, you’re the one getting old, you need to settle down, don’t you want to spend time with someone, you know spend some of that money on them, have someone besides us…help relieve some stress?”

“We’re the same age Wooyoung.” he closed his laptop.

“Oh no, my birthday is in November, yours just passed.”

The room got quiet.

“You’re not letting this go until I say yes are you?”

“Oh come on just one date! You’ll like her, I bet you’ll even get married come on! Please please please please please please please please please please please please pleasepleasepleaseplease-”

“Okay!!...Okay fine, just one date, and we’re not-” Wooyoung left. “Getting married…”

Yunho couldn’t help but think of the beautiful stranger he met at the museum earlier, he caught her staring a few times but couldn’t bring himself to say more in case she got suspicious, but man did he want to, her smile was infectious, her clothing choices mimicked his own, she knew about the art he wanted…but he’s a criminal, no one would ever want to be with a criminal, it’s not that he can’t do the time he just wouldn’t want to drag someone else into it, although he certainly wouldn’t mind coming out to that beautiful face…if he ever got caught that is, he has no plans on making that a reality. 

“One date.” he sighed to himself.

~~~~~~~~~~

I smoothed over the dress I chose for tonight, Wooyoung couldn’t wait to text me and tell me his friend said yes. Why did I bother saying yes this is…no let’s..let’s be hopeful, maybe he’ll be nice, and funny, and hopefully a little good-looking….please Wooyoung…don’t do this to me.

“You look gorgeous y/n!” Emma and Liz squealed, their partners on the couch. 

“We definitely won’t be seeing you tonight.” Becka chuckled.

“Oh please I’m definitely not going to sleep with this guy, it’s the first date and it’s a Wooyoung blind date.” I rolled my eyes.

“I mean if he’s lucky we won’t see you tonight.” Liz laughed. “He’ll certainly only have his eyes on you this time.”

“One can hope” I groaned. “I better go, I don't want to show up late.” I grabbed my purse and a long black coat to keep warm. Of course there’s a hole in the pocket…I really need to get this fixed. 

“It’s going to be warm out, just forget the coat and get it fixed later.” Liz called out. “Go go! You’ll be late.”

It feels weird to walk around the city in just a dress and heels, I feel a little exposed but it’s not any different from the other people I’ve seen I guess…I made my way to the station to go to the restaurant Wooyoung had picked out, he told me to dress fancy so I got the fanciest dress I could. Black and white, a little lace, elegant but not over the top, stops at the knee, a cute little black heel and my hair pulled up into one of those fancy buns. Hopefully I remembered my glasses this time in my bag.

When Jung Wooyoung says fancy restaurant he wasn’t kidding, I’m pretty sure an appetizer here costs my entire rent, there’s not even prices on the menu how am I supposed to afford-

“Miss y/n?” A voice called. Sounds….familiar?

“Yes?” I turned around and it was the guy from the museum. “Oh hello.” I blushed

“It’s nice to see you again, are you waiting for someone?”

“My um..my friend set me up on this..silly blind date.” I chuckled lightly.

“How funny me too.” he smiled. “I wouldn’t be rude to assume you know a Jung, Wooyoung?”

“That would be the one.” I nodded gently.

“Well how funny would it be if I told you the very person sent me here on a silly blind date as well?”

“Well I suppose that would be…quite nice actually.” I sighed. “Last time I let him talk me into this…it didn’t go well.”

“Ah I know the feeling. She went after her ex after spending 30 minutes with me.” he chuckled.

“Ironic, mine used me to get back with his ex.”

“Now isn’t that just something.” he offered his hand to me. “Shall we go in?”

“How gentlemanly.” I let out a chuckle.

“Oh I’m Yunho by the way, Jeong Yunho.” 

“Oh a James Bond type I see. Last name first.” I chuckled. “Y/n L/n. Sorry I went the other way.”

“Oh god!” they both thought. “It’s you from the museum! What should I do?...stay calm, it’s just a date.”

I never thought I’d thank Wooyoung for setting me up on a date but, I might after this one…he’s so…he’s almost too perfect to be true, he’s interested in what I do, he’s charming, funny, he’s handsome…I..I almost feel like I’m dreaming. I’m pinching myself and not waking up so this has to be real, please be real. If this is a prank Wooyoung I’m never speaking to you again. 

“I should warn you beautiful, I’m quite dangerous.” he chuckled

“Oh are you now? Maybe I should’ve brought a bat.”

Time felt forgotten, it passed by so fast but so slow. Before we knew it the restaurant was closing and asking us to leave.

“Oh don’t worry about the bill.” he waved his hand at me reaching for my wallet. “It’s on me tonight.”

“I couldn’t possibly let you-”

“I insist beautiful.” he smiled and handed the waiter his card….A Black Credit Card!??!?! Oh my god.

“Next time is on me.” I said my cheeks were heating up. “A-As long as it’s pizza.” I joked…not really.

“Pizza sounds perfect if you’re there.” he winked. Oh man he is dangerous. “Can I walk you home? Or perhaps drive you?” he beeped his car…his very expensive silver car. A Rolls Royce?

“Oh my god.” I whispered. “What do you do?” I laughed.

“Oh I just inherited a lot of money from my uncle.”

“Oh sure, do you sell organs on the black market?” I nudged him gently.

“Oh no way, blood freaks me out.” he laughed. “I invest.”

“Sure.” I smiled and got in the car.

“Where to?” he asked.

“Oh right.” I gave him my address and we were off. It was bittersweet driving with him, I really didn’t want it to end yet. If this was going to be my only date with Yunho then…I just wanted to feel special for a little while longer. “Um, would you mind if we made a short stop first? It’s just…a really nice night out and I don’t want to…with my roommates and all.”

“Sure, I wouldn’t mind staying out myself.” he smiled.

“There’s a park just up ahead.” I said bashfully. “We could just…walk around?”

“I like that idea.” he pulled over to the park and before I could even think about opening my door he had sprinted around the car to open it.

“Ever the gentleman.” I stepped out and he offered his arm.

We walked around the park for a little just continuing our conversations from earlier, he shared about his childhood days, some of the stuff he and his brother used to do, his friends and how he met Wooyoung. It was all great until a breeze swept through.

“Here.” he shrugged off his coat and pulled it around me. “Better?” he smiled and his touch on me lingered slightly.

“Better.” I whispered and looked at him. “Thank you.”

“Sure.” he cleared his throat and pulled back slightly. 

It was close to 11pm when we finally decided we had been out long enough, I would hopefully not get hazed about the date and he would hopefully be able to go back to whatever he wanted. Even if it was just one date, it felt like a million and it just felt wonderful.

“Oh your coat.” I started taking it off as we pulled up to my little flat.

“Just give it to me next time Beautiful.” he smiled and put his hand up to stop me.

“Are you sure?”

He nodded.

I leaned over the center console and kissed his cheek leaving a slight pink imprint there.

“Goodnight Yunho, thank you for the…probably most perfect night of my life listening to me talk about work.” I smiled and got out of the car. I’ll miss him.

“Goodnight Beautiful.” he smiled more to himself as he drove off when she walked in her front door.

Did I receive the interrogation of a lifetime? Yes absolutely.

Could I stop smiling? No..Not at all. He listened to me ramble about work and school and how overwhelming it is, he listened to me talk about different paints and how to preserve them and take care of them like it was the most interesting thing he ever heard. I almost hate him for how perfect he is.

“Jung Wooyoung, I'm going to kill you.” I said as he picked up the phone.

“What?! Why!? What happened!?” he sat up on the other line.

“How could you literally give me that after all the shit dates you’ve set me up on!”

“Was it bad? You guys have been out for hours!”

“No! It was amazing! I can’t believe you!” I groaned and flopped onto my bed. “He was…kind and sweet and charming and caring and…everything and I hate you for it.”

“...BECAUSE I WAS RIGHT???”

“BECAUSE YOU WERE RIGHT!” I sat up. “Why did you have to be right!?”

“Because I’m amazing, excuse you. You liked him.”

“Yes.”

“You liked him a lot?”

“Wooyoung I literally would drop everything right now to just listen to his laugh.” I sighed. “It's pathetic.”

“I’ll let you know what he says, I just heard the front door.”

“No Wooyoung please, it's fine. I’ll see you in class tomorrow.” I sighed. “I’ll have to give you his coat too.”

“He gave you his coat? Oh my god. See marriage.”

“Goodnight Woo.”

“I’m the matchmaker god after all.”

“Goodnight! Woo.” I hung up. I hate this.

I hate men.

`Next

[ashleywool]

What do I have left to be delusional about?

Back in late June, shortly after the Spectrum Club 7 found out we were going to make our Broadway debuts but we weren't allowed to tell anyone yet, we were processing all our feelings about it in our group chat.

All of us have faced some struggles to fit in, struggles to find and use our authentic voices in a world that wasn't designed for us. We had a lot of conversations about "imposter syndrome" and how it manifests in very specific ways in neurodivergent people--particularly women/AFABs.

"If I'm going to be on Broadway," one of us said, "what do I have left to be delusional about?"

That's something that's stuck in my head for the last few months, as I've hit career milestones that I never would have believed were possible for me as an openly autistic person. I originated a principal role on Broadway. I did an Instagram takeover for Playbill the day our show was announced. I performed at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Some of the biggest names in the entertainment industry know who I am. People are flying in from all over the country to hand-deliver fan art to me. All while we're still in PREVIEWS.

And sometimes I feel like an asshole for saying all of this, because it sounds like I'm making it up for clout, or like it's some kind of self-insert fanfic, but it's MY ACTUAL LIFE.

But other times, I can process this as reality. And those times, I allow myself the freedom to dream even bigger. If this happened, what else can happen? What other pie-in-the-sky dreams might I put out into the universe? What, indeed, do I have left to be delusional about?

Here are a few of the things I've come up with:

Host my own Christmas special, in the style of Bing Crosby and Judy Garland. I want to sing with a huge orchestra and choir and have a giant Christmas tree on stage with me. It will be called "Ashley Wool's Chosen Family Christmas" and it would feature all of my friends who wanted to participate.

Play Kira in a Broadway revival of Xanadu. I can't go more than a week without mentioning this somewhere. Kira is to me what Fanny Brice is to Lea Michele, and she made that happen, so why not me?

Also, play more Golden Age roles. I'm happy to screlt my face eight times a week, but the only place I get to use my soprano register is in church choir. I want a shot at Sarah Brown, Julie Jordan, Amalia Balash, any of 'em.

Collaborate with Missy Elliott on HTDIO remixes. Or...literally anything. (Maybe Ludacris can put in a good word for me?)

Release a full-length album of my original songs. This is probably the most technically realistic goal. For those who don't know, I already have three original singles out there. I think they're pretty good, even though they are suffering from a lack of Missy Elliott.

Buy a house. Just one. Nothing fancy. But an entire house. With a full kitchen and a dining room where I could host Thanksgiving sometimes and a yard big enough for a catio and a water feature. You know, like people used to be able to do with a high school diploma and a minimum-wage job. Well, maybe not with the water feature, but still. A house. A house would be nice.

Contribute in some major way to affordable (and ACCESSIBLE and environmentally SUSTAINABLE) housing in New York City. And other places. But especially New York. Because people are always like "iF yOu CaN't aFfOrD iT tHeN mOvE" and like...no. I love this city, millions of people love this city, and people should be able to live reasonably well in any city they want without being kajillionaires. People should be able to afford to live in the city where they work ANY JOB. I don't know why this is radical. It seems pretty basic to me. Bla bla bla bleeding heart leftist bla.

Anyway. That's my "self-insert fanfiction" list for the end of 2023.

Maybe next year it'll be even more ridiculous.

[arenabreadandbiscuits]

Hey Guys, Let Me Tell You Something.

So yeah after my last post I hate that I have to do this but I need to considering with my current situation I can't afford to even think about dropping one without another being in mind because the last thing I need right now is to FCK myself over...

My last post mentioned a commission I'm working to finish but due to so many twists and changes it's managed to bring me more stress than I deserve. I want to keep doing writing commissions because they ARE fun but only if people follow my posts and my rules. Either way, in order not to crash out I want to take MORE commissions but with the goal being $230 so I can buy this:

4 items (or 3 items??) in total but on my second account which is one that has to do with me and my craft. My craft meaning my spiritual practice. And $230 in particular just in case for shipping or something.

Outside of the spiritual it could help motivate me to move my body more in order to strengthen it.. so I can get up and go outside again and/or back to school finally where I do intent on continuing these posts though hopefully by the time I go back to school I can be writing these stories for actual fun again instead of because I have to...

Currently there's only one active writing commission.

Anyway, my point of this post is to please commission some writing or drawing for me!

Quick Rules on Art Commissions tho:

Due to all the street I'm already going through I'll only do OCS for now. And to make things easier I'll take $35 dollars for each full art piece. I do lineart, shading, coloring, multi skin tones and creatures of sorts etc etc. At most all I ask is for you to be patient with me as we do these things.

If you simply want to help just BECAUSE I need it I have Cashapp, Venmo, PayPal, etc. If you have the funds and art scared to spend them then I'll be happy to accept.

Here's some examples of my art which I may or may not have posted before though I don't fully remember right now.

As you can see my art style has a slight variation but only the furri and blond girl have line art. All these pieces except for the lion are older pieces as well. Oh and single characters are $35 but five dollars extra for other characters.

Please help me out guys, as if everything that I'm going through isn't enough all I want is to feel better. Thank you to anyone for reading this far.

❤️

[tomyo]

Street Pass Mini Game Special

I truly love my 3DS. Even though I came in to owning one a lot later than everyone else, it's been something I've loved deeply. From themes to kisekae plates to the virtual console IR to AR, I really love exploring the full functionality of the system. At some point I'd probably start a series on other functions of the 3DS but today I wanted to focus on the beloved street pass!

So yes, I did buy ALL the street pass dlc when I hear the shop was closing and it's....an experience to say the least. This has given me the chance to go through them however! So let's go!!

Puzzle Swap

I loved this one a lot when I started using my 3DS. Collecting is definitely a brain activator for me. Admittedly though when they updated to multiple pieces getting collected, it was a lot healthier of a job. Right now, I sit extremely frustrated since my current memory card only shows the standard puzzles and not the ones added over time. I know at one point I was at least to one final puzzle needing filling so now I sit frustratingly finished but not really finished on it.

Find Mii 1&2

Find me was where I truly put more of my attention and also equally frustrating at one point in time as I rarely got passerbys and mostly relied on hires mercs. The biggest struggle was I got my 3DS after I moved back to the suburbs meaning I no longer had the benefit of living in a city or it's huge campus. By the time I did move back to city living, I went to a much smaller school at a time where the switch was about to be released. Sometimes I think back to watching my friends get to play Animal Crossing New Leaf and Pokemon X & Y(which I actually like) with a little bit of envy. There's the tug and pull that I went to a lot of cons at than time and could afford it because I was frugal or how getting an og 3DS likely would've stopped me from getting my beloved new 3DS but sometimes it sucks that I didn't shell out the $180 or so to be apart of all that. The 3DS was probably more of a kawaii golden era staple than any other system could have been and just little things like this suddenly come to mind.... Wait wasn't I supposed to be talking about the games? Ah yes, I truly love the two find Mii games. I think they're extremely fun and you can see the way they paved the path for Miitopia. I still have yet to collect all the rewards you can get partially because of that whole tangent issue but hopefully if I start to walk around with it more I can regularly beat the game. I've started to bring my 3DS to cons and now even own a second one after a lucky find so regular street passing is more common for me!

When it came to the next games, you had to pay for them in I believe $15 increments. Either two to three packages where available alongside the premium upgrade which allowed you to have a longer queue and one additional features. Each game also has a guide character for the stories.

Slot Car Rivals

This was the game I selected from the free choice when they offered that up for the game releases. You race against passers to try and progress and build up your car. If I'm honest I don't get this one much. Your guide character is a race team assistant.

Market Crashers

If somehow you can still get this one I'd choose it of the free choice. You get to do capitalism simply put with more passers equalling better predictions on stock shares going up or down through a session. The gameplay per a session is really short once it starts but I find it fun thus far. Basically rapidly hitting by or sell to make more money as quick as possible. There's also art assets to grab up and hold onto. I definitely get excited at chances to play this one. Your guide character is a reddit looking business man.

Feed Mii

Another concept I really like. You essentially grab ingredients and try to cook the best meals possible for your passers who are going out on quests. Do good and you get good reviews from their success. Sadly also really short gameplay overall. While you're encouraged to try cooking more before ending a session, the gameplay can feel a little to quickly done. Your guide character is a cozy male cook in a bandana.

Ninja launcher

Another extremely quick gameplay session one. You're trying to match up passers to be in your shooting path as they'll give you equipment to fight an enemy but you have a time limit to try and get the most ideal shot. Once you fight the target the session is over. Your guide character is a Yamato nadeshiko ninja.

Mii Trek

This one reaks of edutainment in the best way. Each passed adds to the amount of traveling you can do as you lead an expedition for treasure and find real life animals along the way. It's not fully my cup of tea but I like the journey you get to take being a longer and more complicated game session than the previous ones. Your guide character is a toucan straight out of the 90s era gif graphics.

Mii Force

Another longer game. You're in a classic side scrolling shooter with each passed equating to being a weapon with variation based on shirt color. Its sometimes even a little challenging for me. At points I even feel a bit frustrated because enemy shots aren't always clear on the screen noise but that also means I'll have more reason to come back to it as I progress through it. Your guide character is a robot captain.

Flower Town

One of my favorites and one I was really excited to finally get to play. You raise and breed flowers to create a plethora of breeds. I like anything that involves raising so this one spoke to me a lot. That being said it goes pretty slow hahahah. Your guide character is this calming older dude with glasses.

Warriors Way

I remember my best friend talking good of this one and I do enjoy it. Your troops are your total street passes and then most passer's numbers will also be added to yours which you then use to conquer other nations. Because I started so late I started off with a sizable 900+ and then a few thousand from others joining me. However I did run into a monster army I would of had to of challenged but I was too overwhelmed by the size. The battles are rock paper scissors but with the right number and it letting you know the win outcomes, it can be doable without ever losing. Your guide character is a butler.

Monster Manor

You're stuck in a mansion and collect essentially Tetris pieces that turn into halls to help you discover the stairs to help guide you up to freedom. You also occasionally fight ghosts. I don't know how to put it has more meat of a game but it doesn't hold my attention as much. Your guide character is a tiny girl who you employ (I promise I don't mean it in that way but she's a loli type)

Ultimate Angler

You fish various species with bait you receive from your street passes. It’s even local to your area based on how you registered yourself. To catch certain fish you need the right bait which is based on the color of your street passer’s shirts. When I had a lot of street passes pulled up it was pretty fun but it’s not as great when you struggle to get the right bait. I also wish you could change areas and save bait for new locations but sadly you have to use it all at once. When you get back you can stick the stuff you caught in an aquarium and sometimes get new rods which I haven’t explored much yet. You guide character is a bikini clad girl who runs the desk.

Battleground Z

The final of them is a zombie brawler where passers give you weapons or fight with you. I'm not a big fan of beat em ups so I'm a little sad I'm not a huge fan of this one. Sad because you're guide character is a blonde, Bayonetta looking onee-san.

[terpia]

I'm beyond late on this, but thank you for tagging me @whatevsbla!

Rules: List ten books that have stayed with you in some way, don’t take but a few minutes, and don’t think too hard - they don’t have to be the “right” or “great” works, just the ones that have touched you.

(these are in no particular order)

'Stuff' by Daniel Miller - to this day I have not finished it, but reading the first few chapters of this book in my undergrad forever changed the way I look at clothes and 'innate' qualities, making me question for the first time why supposedly innate things are meant to be superior to things you actively worked to develop.

'Fool's Errand' by Robin Hobb - my fav RotE book. I love the older Fitz POV, the new characters, and the return of old faves. The relatively low stakes also mean that for the most part I can enjoy the warm character moments knowing that there's nothing awful about to happen in the next chapter.

'Pippi Longstockings' by Astrid Lindgren. The first 'proper' book (i.e. a full novel instead of a collection of short stories) that I've read by myself and one of my fav books as a kid. It forever has a place in my heart.

'Othello' by William Shakespeare. My second Shakespeare play, and also the play that really made me love Shakespeare. Read it over a couple of months for school, which means that I remember details of it much better than a lot of other Shakespeare plays.

'English Renaissance drama : a Norton anthology' - this may be cheating, but this book is just a really good selection of early modern plays that I stumbled upon in my uni library and have been thinking about longingly ever since (although looking online, it appears that used copies of it are actually fairly affordable, so perhaps I could actually buy one for myself)

'Pulpecja' by Małgorzata Musierowicz - another book from my childhood. The entire Jeżycjada series fills me with nostalgia, but this book in particular meant a lot to me as a kid. Growing up fat, reading about a beautiful chubby girl was a balm to my soul.

'National Gallery of Ireland Companion Guide' - this is a weird one, but I picked up a copy of this book during my fine art phase as a teenager and then spend hours pouring over all the paintings and painting descriptions in it. The actual gallery is also very dear to me.

'Anthropocene Reviewed' by John Green. I don't know why this collection of essays spoke to me so strongly, but I cried a lot while reading it and it helped me to feel more connected to/ appreciative of the wider world around me.

'How to keep house while drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organising' by KC Davis - another book that made me cry a lot. I'm not usually one for self-care books, but I bought this one when I was really struggling with my chores and it really helped. I can't say that any of the practical advice really stayed with me outside of one or two things, but the core message of making your space serve you (not the other way around) and not attaching moral judgement or your own self worth to completing chores made this 1000% worth buying. A book I'll be returning to many times over.

'My Brilliant Friend' by Elena Ferrante (although the entire Neapolitan quartet can go here) - I can't remember the last time a series of books absorbed me this much both story wise (although this is more of a character study, and not exactly fast-paced) and intectually. Binged all 4 books in a row (and that's saying quite a bit, considering how often I was annoyed by the main character lol). Wouldn't have picked it up if not for my friend hyping it up a lot, but I'm really glad I did. Also it made me reconnect with my childhood friend, so hey, there's that!

[kouhsuu]

hii hello who are you whats your lore!!

MY LORE okay that's a new one

*THIS IS GONNA BE LONG AND RAMBLY*

Who I am? 17 year old genderfluid digital and traditional artist 👍

For my lore as an artist: My dad is a painter so from a very young age i was surrounded by art materials literally taking up half our small living room because of the easles, giant canvas rolls, wood, cabinets full of paints and brushes, etc.

Essentially I was very encouraged by him to draw lol, and it also came out of me just finding art so much fun in general. I knew that if I got good enough at it I could draw almost anything I wanted if i pushed myself to learn.

I get verrry engrossed learning anything creative and visual, whether it be making my own website, sewing, sculpting, video editing, 3d modelling, painting, woodworking, etc it's all SO! MUCH! FUN!! I also have to specify visual creativity because oh boy can i not stand trying to make music as much as i want to.

In school I was very obviously the art kid and one of the weird kids, but luckily never got bullied because i was charismatic enough and generally there weren't major major assholes at my schools somehow. I usually was involved with the special programs in my schools because of my enthusiasm to learn and participate, so I got an opportunity to enroll into an early scholarship program for LaGuardia art school in middle school which... i ended up turning down because i thought it would be too much work being in a college like that... which honestly only kind of regret because honestly now i'd rather get into drafting and architecture.

Speaking of drafting and architecture! The reason my dad became a painter is because my grandma couldn't afford to send him to school to become an architect, so he pushed me to go into the field as well now that I have the opportunity. I didn't really feel like it but it seemed kind of interesting designing buildings because if i knew how buildings were made, i could more accurately put detail into my art xD Most decisions I make are to improve my own artwork because it's my life and soul, and luckily i ended up getting interested into working with more drafting.

My first social media i posted art on was google plus, then came deviantart, then came youtube, then twitter, and now tumblr (and cohost & itaku). I still use twitter but my main account (@/hamunako) is essentially inactive, I don't care enough to keep posting there nor do i have the motivation NOR do i want to have the anxiety to feel like I have to keep posting because uh oh people wont interact with me otherwise!!!!! Now I just use a private account with less than 25 followers and its the best. I made this Tumblr account though just in case twitter finally deleted itself off of the face of the planet, and also because i've always wanted to figure out how tumblr works & instagram confused me even more than tumblr...

As for why i've been drawing SOOOO much lonely wolf treat lately??? Short answer: ADHD (possible autism too?), Long answer: A long long time ago I watched manlybadasshero's playthrough of lonely wolf treat and loved it, then i forgot about it until i went on itch a while ago and saw that nami had posted mochi in frosting so I was like WOAH THERE'S STILL NEW CHAPTERS?! I got even more into it when it turned out one of my new friends ALSO had played lonely wolf treat so we drew the characters and it allllll spiraled from there.

Can't think of anything else interesting to share regarding my lore but yeah!!! Also I take commissions, just message me and i'll show what I can do and my prices! Don't have a formal post yet but i'll get to it at some point, i'm not very formal in the first place xP

[sibyl-of-space]

Job huuuuuunt / career feelings

I'm basically facing the inevitability that I really cannot afford to try and go full-time freelancing right now. Even if I miraculously made all the connections I need at PAX and other conventions (which is unrealistic, it takes time to build up that kind of network), having an irregular income would make it almost impossible to figure out a loan repayment system that makes sense for my student loans, and those things are gonna be hanging over my head forever at that rate because I went to an expensive art school, which makes a lot of things difficult down the line. Trying to swing this would be the most short-sighted approach, which to date is basically how I've lived my life (and frankly I have no regrets about any of it) but I'm thinking now might be the time to think a little farther ahead.

I am serious about starting my own game studio in like ~5-10 years (or however long it takes). I am serious about finishing an episode of Amadeus every year for the next 5 years so that in 5 years I will have shipped a whole and complete game all by myself. No matter what the fuck else is on my plate, I am dead serious about those two things.

HOWEVER, if I want to start my own game studio in like ~5-10 years, that is going to be basically impossible if I'm still paying off my student loans. How am I supposed to deal with paying other people and figuring out business expenses if I'm still in a shitload of debt because I've been kind of pretending it doesn't exist and paying the minimum for as long as I can get away with? So I figure... shit, maybe it actually makes sense to go back to IT, and while I'm still living with my mom and saving a shitload on rent, basically live as frugally as possible and try to pay off the loans as fast as possible. I just applied to a county job where I live, and I could actually pay off my kind of massive loans in like... 2 years if I spend like I'm unemployed and work full-time.

This wasn't my favorite option but I'm warming up to it. One reason I wanted to avoid it is that I've grown SO MUCH as an artist the past 2 years because I've been working full-time ON ART; whereas if I'm working full-time doing literally anything else, such as in IT, I'm afraid I'll lose the skills I've been working so hard on (and uhh paid out the ass for). But on the other hand... shit, if I were to get a full-time job at an indie game studio, wouldn't that kind of be the same shit? Sure it would be a creative job, but it would still be working 40 hours a week on someone else's project. I still would have to develop Amadeus exclusively in my spare time/off hours. Also, frankly, the game audio job market is absolute ass, and I'm jaded to fuck and back after 2 months of trying to land something despite being - if I may be honest - insanely fucking qualified.

This is only going to work, though, if I am REALLY REALLY DISCIPLINED about working on Amadeus in my spare time. I cannot have it be a "ohhh if I have energy for it today" thing or it will never get finished. I'm making a calendar of monthly benchmarks for the game to ship episode 1 next summer, and even if I am working full-time in an IT role, I need to make sure I meet those benchmarks. Because if I ONLY pay off my loans but DON'T WORK ON THIS GAME TOO, that will be a waste of my education. I need to keep this up, no matter what.

I actually think that I can, though. Like I think this is something I can do. I have the ability to see things through when I am really, really serious about them; and I am really, really serious about this. Like I can see myself calling in to work and staying home to work on Amadeus if I have a deadline I'm not on track for.

So basically.... I might be committing to working really hard for 2 years for the payoff of a) no student debt and b) 2/5 shipped episodes of Amadeus. That puts me in a way better position 2 years out to decide what I want to do. If I can stick it out for closer to 3 years, then on top of paying off my loans, I can start building savings... and then "someday starting a game studio" starts to look more and more like a possibility.

Amadeus is my passion project, something that means the entire world to me, something I need to finish for my own personal happiness. But I also think that if, by the time I've finished it, I also am completely debt free and perhaps even have savings.... then maybe it can also be my gateway to launch that studio.

I don't know. I'm really not good at planning for the future. A 5-year plan is brand new for me and the only reason I'm considering it is because I'm serious about this visual novel I'm making. But... I think I finally came to terms with the fact that, you know, it's okay if maybe my composition skills slide a little bit while I'm working IT full-time. Because: they can, and will, come back.

I'm currently in the best cello shape I have been in my entire life, after like 8 years of neglecting cello completely. All it took was regular practicing and now it's back and better than ever. The same will be true for composition. I'm sure if I work IT full-time I will lose it a little, even if I offset that loss by working on Amadeus (which will obviously need music). But once I've paid my loans, when I'm ready to dedicate myself to it again, it WILL come back. I took meticulous notes in grad school and saved all of my most valuable homework assignments. I can re-learn it. I'm only 30 and my life is only beginning.

It's okay if I lose it a little bit, so long as I make sure to get it back.

[aestheno]

I'm currently sat in Gail's on Great Portland Street, having paid £7.20 for a mozzarella focaccia that was unequivocally not worth £7.20, purely for the privilege of having somewhere indoors to sit in Central London. Anywhere just off Regent's Street feels like an insight into the life I could have lived had I not dropped out of my internship at JP Morgan: received pronunciation accents and trench coats and fine art seen through the residential windows of Wigmore Street. People who actually have the means to spend £7.20 on a subpar sandwich every day.

These kinds of moments so easily make me doubt what I'm doing. Am I meant to be a creative? Is making music a childish, frivolous pursuit? The structure of a corporate job looks inviting when I'm feeling lost in a time where I'm spinning my wheels. Especially when I know I'd instantly have competition to sink my teeth into. The thing is, if I had done that, there's no way I'd have gotten seven years in and not gone crazy from lack of creative fulfilment. Overall, my creative and my analytical parts of my brain are inherently at war with one another.

I left the house today because I felt like I was going crazy. The feeling of entrapment and boredom in my own home is so overwhelming. I don't have to interact with the wider world if my day doesn't demand it. Being in Central and seeing society in motion is like a tidal volume's worth of oxygen. Brick and mortar lives and a bustle of activity between them. I don't know what the man and woman sat outside the cafe across the street are doing, but I like that they're there. There's an inspiring aura walking past university buildings, the Royal Ballet School, the BBC, etc. - perhaps the issue isn't that the arts are too fluffy; it's that I crave a structure within which to improve. And almost certainly one that resides outside my house.

The path I've chosen to take in life is very independent, and that was always going to be the case. But I miss guidance and academia. I miss training and studying. I never trained in the arts, either. I abandoned ship on my theoretical physics Master's and dived headfirst into a career in performance. There's a fantasy every time I pass down leafy Gower Street and think of the drama and dance students in there, ruthlessly training for the performances of tomorrow. It gets scratched somewhat when I watch the vlogs of people in those worlds, but sometimes all that does is make me ache for the higher education experience I never had thanks to illness, hospital, heartbreak, and laziness.

The story I've had is interesting, unique, impressive, and scrappy. But no one ever knows how close life is to drifting off the rails but you. No one knows how much is a fluke but you. And I am fortunate to have been afforded the chance to get those flukes by a privileged financial starting point, but sometimes I feel like I've squandered that privilege, by not being good enough, talented enough, pretty enough, stand-out enough. So maybe I should have just stuck to banking.

I want to be art and I want people to care. But my life is fractured for structure, and since moving out of a full time broadcasting position, I struggle to know how to get people's attention. What makes them want to watch or listen to me? How do I deal with the feeling of reduced relevance when I'm competing against millions in a very democratised landscape. How do I unleash my potential when I feel limited in my opportunities to grow, learn and train? Ultimately those things aren't a 100% hinderance, but it feels like life is just that much less fulfilling as a result.

I know my potential is good, my environment and circumstances just frustrate me. I need variety in my surroundings. Sprinkles of real world, and politics, and business, and academia; a lunch amongst 9-5ers pursuing different routes, a walk on cafe-strewn side streets, angry cyclists and passer-bys. Things need to feel more storylike, but stories only matter when context is given. Currently mine exists in my house. There is no supporting cast except through my PC screen. And I really just want to feel like a real person again.

[quippih]

i need to get out of florida

I've lived here for my whole life. It's always been the same hot weather and scorching sun and suffocating humidity. I don't hate it here; if I could afford an apartment far away from my family but close enough to the beach that I could go whenever I wanted and got top surgery and hormones so I didn't feel like a freak whenever I go to the beach then yeah. I'd live here for the rest of my life. I fucking love the beach.

But a little less than a year ago I was up in Kansas City, going to art school and living in the overflow housing that was just a hotel next to the school. And yeah, I wasn't doing great in my classes and I eventually was kicked out because of it, but damn did I feel free.

I even had a job, as mind numbing and exhausting as it was. In hindsight seasonal depression plus my uncle passing away really put me in a position where I wasn't fighting to stay in that school. I wasn't trying. For 90% of my life I've blamed myself for my shortcomings, so shoot me if I want to blame the snow and some cancer for not trying, instead of faulting it on my own willpower.

I miss it every day. I don't miss the student debt and the art history and critical studies classes. I mainly miss riding my electric bike around and feeling responsible when I went to get groceries with money I earned. Sure, I wasn't paying rent and I got most of my meals through the school. But I didn't have to think about whether or not I was allowed to have a treat or get myself a midnight snack. Or whether I was allowed to go to late night events or ride my bike around town at ungodly hours of the night.

Of course, I wasn't really taking care of myself that much either. I was very wishy-washy with therapy, which sucks because I found a therapist I really liked right before I left. He knew nothing about being trans, which I sometimes find is a good thing because explaining it to someone else makes me feel like I understand myself more than I probably do. I was at least taking my meds, I tried to use good coping skills or whatever. I didn't drink alcohol or shoot heroin or anything. But again, getting hit with a wave of not being able to get out of bed because it's cold outside was fucking intense. Especially after living somewhere where the only two seasons are hot and hotter.

I'm reading Nevada right now, a book about a trans woman in New York who rides her bike a lot and thinks a lot about Being Trans in a very self-aware kind of way. And I see her holding a job and living in an apartment with her girlfriend and (spoilers) having to couch surf with a friend for a bit and I think. I've already got friends in New York. I have L, a friend who does performing arts and has been up there at SVA for at least a year now. My friend D is going up there for SVA too. I went to an art high school full of fellow fags and dykes and transsexuals, of course a good chunk of them are ending up in New York.

It's hard to have that courage again, because I failed the first time. I don't know if I want to go to New York, or Kansas City, or anywhere else because I won't have anywhere to turn to if I fail again. In a school sense, I mean; if I had a degree and was just struggling to find work and couldn't afford rent then I think my parents would help me out a bit. They're not heartless or anything.

I think I'm going to get my bachelors in Graphic Design at the local college, fill my time with school so my parents think I'm working towards something, and then I'll fuck off to some other state where it snows. I'll figure out how to hold a job and pay rent and live with my boyfriend and live with my girlfriend and take hormones and save up for top surgery and Be a Person without wanting to kill myself again.

and maybe then, after a while, i'll come back home and go to the beach again.

[witchcraftandburialdirt]

I saw that you mentioned that Haru has other timelines, what are some details of the relationships he has with other characters in these timelines?!

── 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 𝐈𝐍𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ──

Yeah! Haruko is an older OC of mine that I made in college, and he was originally part of a JJBA roleplay for part 4. Some time passed and he morphed into something without any affiliations, and throughout a lot, and I mean alot, of roleplays with my best friend @magicshadowkitten - he ended up being a part of her universe. Thankfully he isn't too involved in the main plot line so I don't have to worry about too much crazy shit happening to him; but he does meet and know plenty of her characters. And since I know she's going to read this ( hi!! mwah ) I'll go over a few of the more meaningful ones and how Haru feels about the people he interacts with, not in too much detail though because these muses have been interacting for ... 8 years.

MIN-JIN YOON ── Fuck if Haru doesn't hate this dude. In some of my threads with Haru it's referenced that he survived a murder attempt in his past; well this is who done did it. Min-Jin was introduced to Haruko's little sister, Hinata, and the two of them started dating when he transferred from South Korea for school. Granted they didn't date because Min was in love with her, he's a serial killer who turned the women he dated into statues that he'd present as art. Haruko had a bad feeling about him from the beginning, and Min decided that he could take care of both of them. Long story short he cut Haru's hands off to keep as a prize and tried to kill him - but he didn't, and ended up leaving the country before anything could really be done about him. Thankfully they were able to reattach Haru's hands and they retain much of the same function as before, he's had to adjust his tattooing technique obviously. But yeah no words cannot describe the amount of hate and fear Haru holds for this person, he still has nightmares.

ROY G. BIV ── Another person he really does not like; and he doesn't even know the full extent of the abuse this dude inflicted on his adopted children. Point is, he hurt alot of the people Haru is very close to and he actually thinks he's disgusting; he'd key his car if Haru could afford the possible legal fees. Haruko already has pretty deep dadyd issues so they bleed into this hatred too, and refuses to really give him the time of day. They've only really briefly met, for good reason; the people who he loves do NOT let them interact, it just isn't a good idea for anyone involved. He's an asshole, Haru hates him, and he isn't afraid to talk about how much of a fucker he thinks Roy is. Literally wishes nothing but bad upon him actually.

ROSEMARY MURATA ── She is his childhood best friend and neighbor, she went to the same elementary school as him, grew up down the street, and has known Haruko and Hinata since they were very small. She's always been a bit of a firecracker which mixes well with Haruko's own wild behavior, but she's very protective of him and his sister. She's still in his hometown and he visits often, usually taking the train to visit his mother for a few days, he always makes sure to call Rosemary beforehand so she can get off and they can catch up. She was present when Bonnie was adopted, and is a sister to Haruko. She is part of the ideal blunt rotation, and is invited to every event she can make. She's always been extremely encouraging of Haru, and was by his side during the entire Min-Jin incident, because she also smelled some fuckery a foot. These two are the kind of people you don't want to piss off; especially not hurting Hina.

JASPER BIV ── I actually have drawn him; I'll put it under this paragraph! But That being said, Jasper and Haru met under less than ideal circumstances; Haruko being drunk at a bar and Jasper being the bartender who ended up taking care of him and making sure he was ok. They ended up meeting more, eventually becoming friends and going to the same gym together. Granted Jasper is a bit ... well, he isn't all he seems to be. TDLR; Jasper is 1/3 of a broken God trying to make it within the world and live a standard, relaxed existence ( it was not relaxed, he's got a very cool backstory but I wouldn't want to accidentally butcher it so I won't go into detail here, but he's a cool af character ). He keeps this a secret from Haru, even once they start dating, but eventually he breaks and can't keep it up anymore and tells him. Yeah to say Haru laughed at him was an understatement, but he comes around eventually and he wonders how all of this weird stuff constantly happens within his life. They live in the city together in their little high rise apartment ( Jasper's old asf and has money ok he was ready for this life ), and have a pretty normal existence despite everything. We actually joked that if her writing ever became like a dating game, that the player would meet Haru once or twice in town before seeing him leaving his apartment. Obviously part of the ideal blunt rotation, these two really give off like ... well meaning bro dudes vibes. Guys being dudes.

LIAM J. ALLEN ── You know how there are those people in life who are just pure and good and who you want to protect? Yeah, that's how Haru feels about Liam. The man is Jasper's boss and owner of the restaurant he works at, and Haruko has pretty much become part of that family too. Liam is a really good, well meaning man who takes care of Jasper and is so fond of Haru that he'll change Jas' schedule around so they can have time together. Haru is always welcome in the restaurant and he stays after hours since he knows everyone in that place. Liam is 100% part of Haru's ideal blunt rotation, and he's invited to every public outing, barbecue, party, etc ; and Haru would happily be his wingman ( asked or not ). These two have a pretty close brotherly friendship, and may honestly be the only person Haru would let date his sister without throwing a fit over it. He trusts him and knows he's a good man, and he's very grateful that he's part of his life. He can babysit Bonnie.

AIRI BIV ── Oh he likes her. She's Jasper's sister, from another broken God, and has a pretty resentful, bitter personality when you get on her bad side; and Haru fucking loves it in a "Oh, she sounds absolutely demented, let's tell her everything" way. He loves how brutal and icy she is, and he really respects her for it - and he likes getting to hang out with her when she comes around. She also helps at Liam's restaurant, so he sees her pretty often, and she's invited to pretty much every event that they have, its easy to make fun of Jasper with his sister - she knows all of his embarrassing stories and given they are both extremely old, they never run out of shit to laugh at Jasper for. He trusts her with babysitting Bonnie, and absolutely love love loves talking shit about Roy with her since they're both bitchy bitter people.

[museumelina]

Mike Kelley (1954-2012), Kandors Full Set, 2005-2009, Paris, Pinault Collection.

June 28, 2024. Before I went back to school, I worked several years in the restaurant industry. I enjoyed the work but I hoped to do something more with my life. I always had a passion for art history and museums, and while working in restaurants afforded me the ability to immerse myself in museums and monuments and artsy places in different cities and countries, I remained an outsider regardless of how familiar I was with art through personal research. I wasn't going to get a seat at the table with passion alone, I needed degrees on my wall.

The opportunity to take up my studies again presented itself in 2018. Since it had been a decade since I was last in school, I thought it prudent to take the first semester off from working and to focus solely on my studies. I would not have made it to the second semester had I continued working simultaneously, so it was the best call I could have made.

I didn't mean for it to be like that for the duration of my schooling but that's just how it worked out. I did half of my Bachelor's during the height of Covid, so returning to work wouldn't have been an option anyway. During the lockdowns, when everything switched to online only, I ended up doing exceptionally well. I finished Cum Laude.

In order to continue doing well once I started my Master's, my loved ones supported me so I could fully focus on my dissertations. I finished Magna Cum Laude, set to start my PhD with a contract.

But I didn't get the contract. I could have taken the year off, tried again to get a contract the following year, but I didn't want to wait. Instead, I dove in, "self-financing" my PhD.

I got the teaching job, and while it wasn't a big moneymaker, I would not have gotten the position had I waited a year. I got to go to Germany for a week to study the Gothic Revival at a Spring School program, definitely not something that comes up every year and so something else I would have missed had I waited a year.

The only thing I didn't get was a lasting job in the field I'd just spent five years studying. I applied to over a dozen positions and did not take all of the rejections in such a short period of time well. While I did finally get one offer from a museum, it was barely part-time so I needed something else, which is how I ended up back in an apron... I was really bummed about it the first couple of shifts but I blame hubris for that because I quickly found that I actually enjoy the work, specifically the fact that it's a complete disconnect from my research which I think is important. If anything, it's grounding. Sometimes people are interested in what I'm doing, most of the time people don't understand and simply don't care, and I think that's great because stepping out of the constraints of academia, it's a nice reminder that nothing's that serious. My work's moving along even better I think, not only because I can actually finance it now but also because I get to step away and then come back to it.