#and i couldnt do ugly mobile posts

[thepolyesterprince-blog]

REPOST,   DON’T REBLOG !

IM GONNA SET THIS IN MY MODERN CANON ADAPTION (so modern radio verse) AND I JUST WANNA SAY, BC I KNOW IT’S NOT ON HERE AS A QUESTION

HERB IS A REDDIT TROLL

HE’S TROLLIN’ THE TROLLS THAT TROLL TROLLS ON REDDIT

J U S T S A Y I N ‘

SOCIAL  MEDIA .

TWITTER  NAME :  PROBABLY @bigherb BC HES TERRIBLE (that’s probably taken and he’d just do a keyboard smash on the numbers to make it unique while threatening the life of whoever has it) NUMBER  OF  FOLLOWERS  ON  TWITTER : .... PROBABLY UNDER 50 LOL WHAT  DO  THEY  POST  ABOUT ?: REALLY AWFUL THINGS. like. it’s probably all just complaining tbh ??? all problematic views and complaining about how sensitive kids are these day and blah blah and PROBABLY REALLY NOT OKAY POLITICS TBH but if you dig far enough down in there you’ll find O N E tweet that’s @ lucille’s twitter that he posted on their aniversary that just says mth silly like “i love you lots gorgeous” or smth and WHY AM I GOIN OFF ABT THIS STOP ME FACEBOOK  NAME : Herbert Ruggles Tarlek the Second (BECAUSE LIKE I SAID HE’S TERRIBLE) NUMBER  OF  FACEBOOK  FRIENDS : HE’S PROBABLY ADDED EVERY CLIENT HE’S EVER HAD SO LIKE.. . OVER 1K PROBABLY also he won’t actually just add hot girls bc he feels a lil bad abt it and he’s not sure why so instead he accepts the ones from those like, bots with almost topless girls as the profile pic HE KNOWS THEY’RE NOT REAL BUT THAT’S THE POINT, IT’S JUST FOR LOOKS............................ WHAT  DO  THEY  POST  ABOUT ?:  basically the same as his twitter but worse, ALSO HE’S SUCH A DAD ON FACEBOOK, i would hate his FB page if i saw it, just saying, but redeemable qualitues include content regarding his children (CUTE LIL VIDEOS OF BUNNY & HERB THE THIRD STAB ME) INSTAGRAM  NAME :  U KNOW WHAT I BET HE ALSO MAKES THIS ONE @BIGHERB BUT HIS KEYBOARD SLAM FROM TWITTER IS T A K E N AND HES SOO MAD ABT IT he probably send whoever has that one hate mail for weeks NUMBER OF INSTAGRAM FOLLOWERS: LIKE MAYBE 40 SMTH??? WHAT  KIND  OF  PICTURES  DO  THEY  UPLOAD ?: HIS INSTA IS A TERRIBLE PLACE MADE TO MAKE HIM LOOK COOL which uncludes picures of him in front of expensive cars he does not own that are cropped just so you cant tell it’s on a lot and just generally AN ARRANGED LIFESTYLE LOL and also his face is in 89% of the pictures bc he’s vain and a prick SNAPCHAT :  tarlekchats TYPE  OF  PICTURES  THEY  UPLOAD  ON  MY  STORY :  his snapchat is probably just for his friends, like all his other social media he;s TRYINNA BE AWESOME AND COOL AND DRAW ATTN TO HIMSELF SMH but his snapchat is just given to ppl he deems friends and its like, personal stuff thats actually real, like lil videos of the kids or pictures documenting his day with mildly funny (if sometimes problematic) captions that are usually v salty (but u can sorta tell hes kinda kidding) TYPE  OF  PICTURES  THEY  UPLOAD  DIRECTLY  AT  PEOPLE : i don’t imagine he does this often but he probably will send something to his closest friends sometimes, probably pictures of like, something really ugly and the caption is just “it’s you” OR on the rare occasion of genuiness he’ll just send something to someone if it reminded him of them

MOBILE .

TYPE  OF  PHONE  THEY  OWN :  ITS ABSOLUTELY AN IPHONE, ITS THE NEWEST ONE, HE THINKS OWNING AN IPHONE MAKES HIM COOL AND BETTER THAN ANYONE WITHOUT AN IPHONE AND HALF HIS REDDIT TROLL BATTLES ARE AGAINST THOSE “ANDROID FANBOYS” AND PROVING WHY HE’S BETTER FOR HAVING AN IPHONE IM GONNA KILL HIM, 5  LATEST  PEOPLE  THAT  CALLED  HIM :  a client, lucille, a client, mr. carlson, andy WHO  WERE  THEIR  LAST  5  MISSED  CALLS  FROM : THEY’RE ALL FROM LES AND THERE MIGHT BE ONE FROM HIS DAD that he couldnt bring himself to answer bc even though he felt he SHOULD want to he didnt bc he wasnt in the mood to convince himself they have a healthy relationship bc it was like rly late bc his dads inconsiderate of timezones ?? IM GONNA SHUT UP ABT THAT NOW CUZ IT MADE ME SAD LOL LATEST  TEXT  AND  WHO  FROM :  "Can I see you in my office in five? I’m calling a meeting!” - Mr. Carlson LATEST  PICTURE  THEY  TEXTED : PROBABLY A PICTURE OF LIKE, A THING IN A STORE TO LUCILLE LIKE “is this the thing you want me to buy” BC HES C L U E L E S S and he hates grocery shopping LATEST  VIDEO  THEY  TEXTED : I RLY DONT KNOW TBH OML i dont even think he knows u can do that HES LUCKY TO TEXT PICTURES TYPE  OF  PICTURES  ON  THEIR  PHONES : MOSTLY PROBABLY THE KIDS AND LUCILE AND LIKE..... JENNIFER LOL. but he almost nver takes pictures w his phone tbh TYPE  OF  VIDEOS  ON  THEIR  PHONE : HE NEVER RLY TAKES VIDEOS OML if he did it would like be of him grilling smth bc he thinks hes Cool ANYTHING  ON  THEIR  PHONE  THEY  DON’T  WANT  PEOPLE  TO  SEE :  PROBABLY,  there’s candy crush and he makes fun of ppl who play it but he’s secretly addicted AND NO ONE CAN KNOW also there’s probably at least one inappropriate photo that was for lucille JUST SAYIN 5  MOST  USED  APPS :  reddit, browser, CANDY CRUSH (and/or angry birds tbh), A MIRROR APP, twitter WHO  THEY  CALL  MOST  OFTEN :  ITS PROBABLY LUCILLE, ASIDE FROM VARIOUS CLIENTS WHO  THEY  TEXT  MOST  OFTEN : ANDY OR BAILEY not bc he wants to but bc they’re the most Hip of his friends and they text him (and everyone else) a lot LATEST  VOICE  MESSAGE  AND  WHO  IT’S  FROM : “Herb, I know you’re hiding from Mr. Carlson, but it won’t work. I know where you are, and I want you at my desk now.” -Jennifer WEBSITES  THEY  VISIT  MOST  OFTEN : REDDIT, youtube, and ??? maybe a cheat site for candy crush LOL BACKGROUND  PICTURE  ON  THEIR  PHONE :  ITS PROBABLY A SERIES OF BROADWAY ACTRESSES, NOT BC THEY’RE HOT BUT BC HE’S A FAN OF THEIRS, BUT IT ALSO SERVES AS LOOK MY LOCKSCREEN IS WOMEN THAT ARENT MY WIFE” orrrrr ITS A PICTURE OF BUNNY

TAGGED  BY : @piper-aileen-lenox (THANK YOUUU MY DEAR OML)

TAGGING : @innocentmanwithabounty @iwillmakemystandhere @themostpowerfuleditor @annastrxng @detectiverickitubbs @deu5exmach1na IDK EVERYONE I KNOW WAS TAGGED LOL but IF U WERENT FEEL FREE TO SAY I DID AND DO IT

[sciammas]

like im sorry y’all on mobile for this long post but that post literally just really made me think about my relationship to homo/bisexuality as a kid and bruh its wack

like id do a bunch of gay shit. i’d roleplay high school musical w my girl friends and we’d have our hands on each others thighs and like.... nothing overtly sexual ever happened because we were like. eight. but as kids yknow that was like as sexual it was ever gonna get so it was scary but i like, strangely liked it lol. but lmao that shit was gay. like i cant even defend myself by saying “it was just roleplaying! it was exciting/fun!” like no honey. for me, it was gay. it was gay on my side. 

but the idea of actually getting excited like this BY A //////GIRL////// was terrifying and i was like, disgusted by myself, so i’d get hyper aware of everything and when i thought my role playing partner got too into it (i think she maybe tried to kiss me? idk lmao) i got angry at her and told people she was bisexual and shouted it out and like fuck i get so ashamed of myself and i hate myself for it because it was so fucking mean and she was probably completely straight but my eight or nine year old ass couldnt interpret her being excited or rp:ing too hard lmaosafhkasdkhlfs as anything else (BECAUSE I KNEW INTERNALLY KNEW THAT THERE WASNT ANY WAY I WAS GETTING EXCITED BY WHAT WAS GOING ON WITHOUT ME BEING NOT STRAIGHT FITTING INTO THE EQUATION) and i was terrified by anything not heterosexual so i felt i had to like warn the other kids (BECAUSE IF SHE WAS THE LESBIAN PREDATOR I WOULD’VE BEEN THE STRAIGHT VICTIM AND NO ONE WOULDVE SUSPECTED ME OF BEING INTO THIS NON-HETEROSEXUAL ACT). i met her on a bus like, 6 years later and i was so embarrassed and i was like “if i ever upset you or was mean to you” (because if she didnt remember it i didnt want to bring it up) “im so sorry and i apologize profusely” and she was like ? i dont remember you ever being mean to me! so thank god she maybe didnt care about it so much like i did lol ive been beating myself over this for 8 years

anyway, i kept roleplaying and doing “ambiguously” gay shit. when katy perry’s song “i kissed a girl” came out i loudly talked about it school. i talked about how gross it was that girl was kissing a girl and how it was unnatural, and like, nobody really cared (ppl did care but not at the level that i was, i think). but i thought it was super gross. at the same time, i’d in secret watch the music video (id get a youtube account, put my age to 18, because it was age restricted) and it was super scary but i looked at the girls and just fucking stared lmao i was SHOOK. it wasnt like “wow theyre cute :-)” or “i want to touch them”, like there wasnt any real type of coherent thoughts, i just sat there super curious and looked at them touching each other and id get flustered and id watch it again and it was terrifying and i was so scared someone would find out but i could never put why i was scared into real words. i couldn’t explain why i had to re-watch the music video, i couldn’t. i didn’t really understand it either. i couldnt explain anything, because then i’d have to kinda recognize that these were non-straight actions. i’d have to recognize that i was afraid someone would see the music video and think i was non-straight. like people dont understand how much gay shit you can do without even acknowledging that it might be gay when ur repressed and filled w internalized homophobia.

anyway. i was a really gay kid, also a very very scared kid with a lot of internalized homophobia. i was bullied at the time for being slow, ugly, my glasses, not understanding the swedish language completetly, etc. i think my fear of being bullied even fucking more could’ve contributed to my fierce homophobia and refusal of admitting what i was doing was gay. 

this really fucks kids up. im still fucked up. wow

[hinanaha]

1-170 :)

lmfao james i swear to god

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? i wish i was 160cm cause i wanna be short and also then my weight would be healthy lmao2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) we all know i want a norwegian forest cat, and also a lizard would be cute3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? long flowing dress or skirts w blouses4: What was your favorite video game growing up? pokemon5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: my cats, what i will eat and how much a wanna be picked up and spun around one day6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? it wouldnt say anything it`d just have the crying laughing emoji like deepfried on red tape7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? u didnt say anything for this so ill state my opinion on meat which is yuck8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] none rlly fit me tbh9: Are you ticklish? yea….. 10: Are you allergic to anything? nope11: What’s your sexuality? lesbian (femme lesbian specifically)12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? coffee, tho i like all13: Are you a cat or dog person? CAT, im very picky abt dogs14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? elf15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? idk like i dont rlly watch youtube for anyone inparticular i just watch whatever16: How tall are you? 170cm17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? opal, just cause its my middle name and opals are my favourite gemstone18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] about 50kg (ik im underweight if anyone is concerned btw im fine its a sideaffect of one of my medications)19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? yes20: Do you like space or the ocean more? i love sharks and jellyfish so the ocean, however i am fucking scared of octopuses21: Are you religious? nope, never have been22: Pet peeves? men.23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? why does diurnal sound like urinal, but i like the day so that24: Favorite constellation? the pot thing cause its easy to spot25: Favorite star? the biggest one there is26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? i dont rlly see much of a use for them27: Any phobias or fears? arachnophobia, and aslo the dark 28: Do you think global warming is real? um yes definitely, because im not stupid29: Do you believe in reincarnation? i mean there aint even close to enough science backing or not backing it so i couldnt say, im neutral 30: Favorite movie? idk31: Do you get scared easily? id say more anxious then scared, like im a very jumpy and shaky person32: How many pets have you owned in your lifetime? idk like 20+ (chickens count)33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] yes34: What is a color that calms you? peachy colours and whites35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? i would love to hike somewhere someday tbh i think itd be rlly magical, and i love nature so much36: Where were you born? Melbourne37: What is your eye color? blue grey38: Introvert or extrovert? introvert39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? to an extent40: Hugs or kisses? both at the same time41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? honestly kinda wanna see my nan rn for some reason42: Who is someone you love deeply? definitely my mum, she is the most important person to me43: Any piercings you want? i want a nose piercing, maybe a small decorative ring44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? yess i love them, i rlly want a tattoo someday45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? no i dont want to46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! i don`t have one47: What is a sound you really hate? i cannot stand the sound of animals licking themselves48: A sound you really love? wind chimes49: Can you do a backflip? i could if i wanted to50: Can you do the splits? no51: Favorite actor and/or actress? ashley johnston52: Favorite movie? this was already asked lmao53: How are you feeling right now? pretty chill but also kinda sad for no actual reason54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? im feelin a burgundy colour tbh55: When did you feel happiest? nothing specific rlly56: Something that calms you down? music57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] i have ADD also p bad anxiety58: What does your URL mean? mango boba yum59: What three words describe you the most? anti-social goblin witch 60: Do you believe in evolution? i do biology so yes61: What makes you unfollow a blog? they post stuff i dont care abt or triggering content62: What makes you follow a blog? pretty picture63: Favorite kind of person: someone who makes me feel special/loved64: Favorite animal(s): cats, bees, lizards, crows65: Name three of your favorite blogs. idfk tbh66: Favorite emoticon: im not on mobile but the sparkling heart one67: Favorite meme: i dont have a favourite68: What is your MBTI personality type? Infp/intp69: What is your star sign? taurus70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? no they cannot71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? pyjamas72: Post a selfie or two? icbb73: Do you have platform shoes? yes74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? i have a double jointed shoulder on one arm75: Can you do a front flip? yes76: Do you like birds? yes chirp 77: Do you like to swim? no lol it sucks i cant breath well when i swim and it freaks me out78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? ice skating, i love it, would take up lessons if they were available79: Something you wish didn’t exist: flies80: Some thing you wish did exist: giant domestic cats81: Piercings you have? just simple ear piercings82: Something you really enjoy doing: doing creative things w friends83: Favorite person to talk to: u already know its the council 84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? funny mem85: How many followers do you have? 168 (i had 470 on my old blog)86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? ye but not always87: Do your socks always match? yes88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? yeah89: What are your birthstones? idk90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? surprising but id be a fox not a cat91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? lavenders baby92: A store you hate? bendigo iga, its shit93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? 1 otherwise my hands shake94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? neither tbh95: Do you like to wear camo? ii guess if it looks good96: Winter or summer? summer97: How long can you hold your breath for? a pretty long time actually, once held my breath for 3 minutes underwater98: Least favorite person? my dad99: Someone you look up to: no one100: A store you love? i dont like kpop anymore, but the owners of happytown were always so nice to me so i rlly like that store because of that101: Favorite type of shoes converse102: Where do you live? austrlia103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? im vegetarian, but i eat mostly vegan food, i rlly like animals and dont like the idea of eating them, also eating too many animal products can be unhealthy 104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? opal105: Do you drink milk? ye but not on its own106: Do you like bugs? yes, silly creetures107: Do you like spiders? im scared of them108: Something you get paranoid about? i dont rlly get paranoid much, but i sometimes get rlly paranoid something be watching me109: Can you draw: ye, reblog my art pls @yumeuwu110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? i cant remember lmao111: A question you hate being asked? i cant think of anything112: Ever been bitten by a spider? nope113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? yeah its pretty nice114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? both i guess,  tho respectfully to their matching seasons115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: id cuddle my future gf rn :`)116: Favorite cloud type: .. w… poofy cloud117: What color do you wish the sky was? yellow would be pretty, but not piss yellow cause that`d be weird118: Do you have freckles? yea faint ones119: Favorite thing about a person: their lips, lips pretty120: Fruits or vegetables? veggies121: Something you want to do right now: sit on a warm hill in silence122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? sky123: Sweet or sour foods? im more of a savoury person124: Bright or dim lights? dim, sexy125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? i mean it aint impossible126: Something you hate about Tumblr: pointless discourse127: Something you love about Tumblr: nice people128: What do you think about the least? idfk129: What would you want written on your tombstone? oh my fuckin god she fuckin dead130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? no one, but im always ready to punch something131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? im very very selfless, which is nice but also makes me rlly sad sometimes132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? nah133: Computer or TV? computer134: Do you like roller coasters? hell yeah, they fun135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? i get motion sickness136: Are your ears lobed or attached? lobed137: Do you believe in karma? i guess138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? probably a 7, like im p cute139: What nicknames do you have/have had? uhhh anepeace (die mr flanagan that nickname is so ugly)140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? no, not that desperate yet (no offence to those who do have them im sure ur lovely)141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? yeah i see a psychologist monthly and also psychiatrist 142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? id like to say good143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? recieving144: What makes you angry? assholes145: How many languages do you speak fluently? 1146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? girls ;3147: Are you androgynous? nah148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: i have nice shoulders149: Favorite thing about your personality: i try to be considerate of others 150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. idk151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? honestly fine w this one152: Do you like BuzzFeed? some things153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] dont have one :((154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? nah155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? yea, prefer people playing w my hair tho156: What embarrasses you? anything that puts me at the centre of attention among strangers157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: loud noises158: Biggest lie you have ever told: i dont rlly tell lies so notin159: How many people are you following? i cbb to check160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? 7000+161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? 1162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? idfk163: Last time you cried and why: i cried cause i saw a floofy cat164: Do you have long or short hair? short hair165: Longest your hair has ever been: hip length166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? most religious views ive heard make no sense when compared to science so i dont rlly believe it167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? nah168: Do you like to wear makeup? sometimes169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? no im weak170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? ye